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Mingi rubbed Wooyoung’s back gently, letting him rest his head on his shoulder as they waited for Hongjoong or Seonghwa to come back.
“I hate this,” Wooyoung mumbled.
“I know,” Mingi sighed, pulling him closer to his body.
“Why did I have to get injured now? It isn’t fair.”
“It sucks,” Mingi agreed. “But you can’t keep pushing and straining yourself or you’ll make it worse.”
“I know,” Wooyoung groaned. “But I don’t like not performing and I don’t want to disappoint anyone.”
Wooyoung’s voice was quiet and sad and he was playing with a loose thread from the knee rip on his jeans. Mingi wished he could do something, anything, to make him feel better, take away his pain and give him back the light that was always shining around him. Wooyoung loved performing, knowing that he wouldn’t be on stage with them for some time hurt, they weren’t complete without him.
Mingi wrapped him tighter in his arms, bringing him to his body in a hug that he hoped gave Wooyoung some level of reassurance.
The door opened and neither of them made any move to part as they turned their heads to look at it. Seonghwa smiled sadly at them as he entered the room, an ice pack in his hand.
“Hey,” he said, voice gentle and warm.
He kneeled in front of them, helping Wooyoung out of his sneaker and holding the ice to his ankle.
Wooyoung grimaced but didn’t complain out loud, instead snuggling closer to Mingi for as much comfort as he could get.
“How are you feeling?” Seonghwa asked, his thumb running back and forth over the bottom of Wooyoung’s leg.
Wooyoung shrugged.
“Not great,” he said honestly.
Seonghwa hummed sympathetically, still holding the ice pack to Wooyoung’s ankle. They stayed in silence for a little while, Mingi and Seonghwa keeping Wooyoung company while they waited for Hongjoong.
“Do you think they’ll tell me to step down for a long time?” Wooyoung asked and there was fear in his voice.
Mingi wanted it gone. He never wanted Wooyoung to be afraid of anything.
“I think they’ll tell you to step down until you’re feeling better and have medical clearance,” Seonghwa said. “However long it might take.”
“I don’t like it,” Wooyoung grumbled.
“But it’s the best for you,” Mingi pointed out.
“Doesn’t make me like it more.”
Seonghwa sighed, knowing there was nothing left to say, and Mingi rested his head against Wooyoung’s. They waited like that until Hongjoong pushed open the door.
“I talked to them,” he said, sitting on Wooyoung’s other side and grabbing his hand. “They said a temporary hiatus until you get better is the best option.”
Wooyoung tensed up even though he had already known what would happen.
“Do I have to?” He asked again.
“You know it’s the best way to make sure you don’t hurt yourself more.”
“And you won’t be disappointing anyone,” Seonghwa added. “The only thing we and the fans want is for you to be okay.”
“I know,” Wooyoung said.
“Management wants to talk to you,” Hongjoong told him. “Arrange flight hours and everything else. I can go talk to them with you if you want.”
Wooyoung nodded, not wanting to be alone, and Hongjoong offered him a smile before standing up.
“Come on.” He held his hand out to Wooyoung and Seonghwa got up from the floor quickly to give them space.
Wooyoung put an arm around Hongjoong’s shoulders and let him guide him out of the room, throwing a small smile in Mingi’s and Seonghwa’s direction before the door closed behind them.
“I hope he gets better quickly,” Seonghwa said.
Mingi could only agree.
***
Of course, when a member is down, they have to make up for it in their choreography. They get together in a hastily rented studio to go through some of the choreography together, preparing on short notice to take over Wooyoung’s parts.
In the beginning, everything was fine. Yeosang’s phone was propped up on a chair, a video call open with Wooyoung carefully analyzing them through the screen and correcting any mistakes they made. He was critical and his eyes were quick at picking up any small inconsistency, so every small hiccup they found along the way got better after a little bit of practice.
And then, they moved on to Wonderland and Yunho volunteered to do Wooyoung’s part.
It was going smoothly, Yunho was a great dancer and good at picking up choreography quickly, so there wasn’t a hitch. Or there wasn’t a hitch until he decided to look at Mingi like he wanted to throw him to the floor and bite him. His gaze was intense as it focused on Mingi and nothing else as if they were the only ones in the room and they were about to do something other than practising their choreography.
Mingi stumbled backwards, eyes wide as he tried to get away, and everyone else stopped dancing to look at him confused.
“What happened?” San asks.
“You okay?” Yunho asked, looking at him wearily.
Mingi blinked at him and then at the others, still trying to gather his surroundings and erase the look that had been on Yunho’s face from his memory.
“Yeah,” he says. “Yes, I almost tripped.”
It was a bad excuse and no one seemed to believe him fully, but they were in a time crunch, so there weren't any more questions and, thankfully, they went right back to practice.
Mingi put on his work mask, willing himself to ignore everything that was outside the practice and the dance itself, his mind completely on the song. He ignored the way Yunho looked at him in the same way again, pretended like it hadn’t made a shiver run down his spine and like he wasn’t affected by it at all.
At least, everyone else seemed to be so focused on practising their own moves that no one took any time to look at Mingi’s expression and question him if he wasn’t hiding the way he was feeling very well.
When they were finally satisfied with the way the choreography looked and practice ended, it was late and the sky outside was dark. The van they had been using to move around took them to a restaurant nearby to have dinner and then to the hotel where they were staying.
Mingi was glad that he didn’t have to go live tonight and that he could go straight to his room to get ready for bed and get between the cozy sheets. Though, before he could get fully comfortable, his phone vibrated on the nightstand and he sighed as he picked it up. He frowned when he saw Wooyoung was calling him and quickly accepted the call.
“Yes?”
“What was that at practice?”
Mingi winced, he should have known better than to think he wouldn’t have been figured out by at least someone.
“What was what?” He pretended not to know.
“ Come on,” Wooyoung said and Mingi knew he must be rolling his eyes at him. “ That whole thing with Yunho-yah. You almost fell on your ass.”
“Don’t exaggerate,” Mingi said. “I just stumbled.”
“ Okay and why did you stumble?”
“Have you never stumbled while dancing?” Mingi attempted to evade the question.
But Wooyoung knew him too well.
“ Cut the bullshit, Mingi-yah, why did you react like that while you were dancing with him?”
Mingi sighed, knowing he couldn’t get out of this without telling the truth.
“I don’t know,” he confessed. “I’m a little confused about it.”
Wooyoung hummed.
“ What’s confusing you?”
“The way he was looking at me.”
“ How was he looking at you?”
“Like he wanted to eat me.”
A loud, startled laugh sounded through the phone and Mingi groaned. He couldn’t even scold Mingi because if their positions were switched, he would have the exact same reaction.
“Stop laughing,” he whined anyway.
“ What do you mean he wanted to eat you?” Wooyoung laughed.
“I don’t know Youngie,” Mingi groaned. “It was weird. He was all intense and in my face and I don’t know.”
On the other side of the line, Wooyoung hummed.
“ And how did he looking at you like that make you feel?”
“Weird. How else would it have made me feel?”
“ Weird how?”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s easy, Mingi-yah, was it a good weird or a bad weird?”
Mingi’s first instinct was to say it was bad, that he had hated it and that he never wanted to be on the receiving end of a look like that ever again. But Wooyoung fell silent, giving Mingi all the time he needed to really think about it, and Mingi allowed himself to let the image of Yunho’s eyes and his expression come back into the front of his mind.
Yunho’s eyes were dark and focused, meeting Mingi’s without a single flicker of hesitation, the determined furrow between his eyebrows as he danced to the part of the music that didn’t belong to him. There had been a bead of sweat descending the side of his face but he hadn’t seemed to care, nothing seemed to be on his mind except Mingi.
And Mingi knew that it was a lie, Yunho was just dancing, thinking about the choreography and the best expressions to put on. He was a performer, a good one, but Mingi’s perception seemed to be warped and, with that realization, came another one.
“It was a good weird,” he confessed.
Wooyoung hummed, encouraging him to talk more and Mingi sighed as he tried to put his thoughts into words when he didn’t even understand them.
“I don’t know, Youngie,” he sighed. “I just- I think I liked that he looked at me like that.”
“ Did you want him to keep looking at you ?”
The way Wooyoung was talking, it was almost as if he already knew the answers to his own questions, as if he knew everything Mingi was struggling to grasp and he was only trying to make him see it too.
Mingi bit his lip as he thought about it. Yunho not looking away, his intense gaze on Mingi’s face, the firm set of his mouth and the determined furrow between his eyebrows. He thought about what would happen if the song hadn’t continued, if Mingi hadn’t stumbled away and had instead let Yunho look at him some more.
It sent something warm travelling through his veins, a desire he hadn’t felt before for something he couldn’t yet understand. Whatever it was that he wasn’t seeing, there was only one answer to Wooyoung’s question and it was an obvious one.
“Yes.”
“ I don’t want to tell you how you feel, Mingi-yah, but I think it’s something you should think about .”
“I don’t know if I want to think about it.”
Because maybe Mingi knew where his thoughts would go if he started thinking about it and it was scary. The possibility of what was hiding behind the veil that was currently covering his perception of reality was scary.
“ Why not? ” Wooyoung asked.
“I’m scared.”
There was a moment of silence and Mingi wished that Wooyoung was next to him so he could get the hug he needed right now.
“ I know it’s hard ,” Wooyoung started. “But you deserve to understand your feelings.”
“Thank you, Wooyoungie. For listening.”
Wooyoung made a noise of dismissal.
“ There’s no need to thank me, you know that. Just call me if you need me .”
“I will,” he promised.
“ And think about what we said .”
Mingi hesitated for a second, this promise harder to make. In the end, he sighed in defeat.
“I will.”
He would think about it. If he were brave enough to do so.
***
Mingi loved being on stage. He came alive in front of a crowd, ascended with the sound of people screaming his name and singing their songs. He loved everything about it and he wouldn’t trade his life for anything. He was the happiest on stage, performing, showing everything he had worked so hard for and seeing people responding to it, enjoying what he gave them.
He loved performing, it always left his body buzzing, something in him flaring alight and making him take on a persona that was much more confident, much more out there than he usually was, showing off in a way he didn’t on any given day.
Throughout the whole concert, he had been so focused, so in the zone, thinking about only the music and the fans and their cheers, with no space in his mind for anything else. And, for once, it had proven to be a mistake. He had forgotten about Wonderland and how different it would be to perform it tonight, it hadn’t crossed his mind once and now he was paying the price.
The song had started as usual, without a hitch and everyone in their assigned places. Everything was going as usual and then Mingi saw Yunho step up to Wooyoung’s place and start dancing to Wooyoung’s solo.
His blood ran cold as he finally remembered what would happen.
He tried to calm down, remain professional, and take his eyes off Yunho so that no one would notice him staring for longer than he should. Fans were attentive with eyes on their every move and he could never be too careful.
And then, it was time for him to step forward too.
He was a professional. He could do his job and dance with his best friend without it affecting him in any way it wasn’t supposed to.
He stepped up, looked at the crowd and then, before he could process what was happening, Yunho was grabbing his clothes harshly, pulling him closer, his hand in a fist in Mingi’s shirt. He could feel Yunho’s knuckles through the fabric and his heart was pounding in his chest.
The look on Yunho’s face was even worse than it had been at practice.
His gaze was focused entirely on Mingi, as if they were alone instead of on stage with members and dancers, as if there wasn’t a whole crowd they were performing for watching them. Yunho’s eyes were dark and intense and so close to Mingi.
Mingi felt breathless.
He couldn’t look away from Yunho, from the look on his face, the intensity of his eyes. Mingi looked back, unsure of what the expression on his face was telling Yunho but unable to control it properly when he was so close, when he could feel him panting against his skin. Yunho was once again looking at him like he could lean in and bite him and Mingi wasn’t sure he would complain.
For the first time in his life, Mingi wished they weren’t on stage. He wished they were somewhere else, that they weren’t working, that they weren’t being watched by fans, that they weren’t in the middle of performing a song. He wished he was alone with Yunho although he didn’t know what he would have done if they were indeed on their own.
Would he have leaned closer or pulled back? Would he have breathed deeper so he could catch more of Yunho’s cologne or pushed him away? Would he have kissed Yunho like he so wanted to do?
He didn’t know and all the things that could have happened ran through his mind at high speed, faster than he could even grasp them.
But they were still performing and there was no time to think.
Holding onto the last shred of sanity in him, Mingi kept performing the song, rapping and dancing like he was supposed to, like the fans had come to see. He kept his head on the stage, his eyes on the crowd. He went through the rest of the choreography almost on autopilot, his muscles so used to it that he didn’t have to think about it too much, which was good because he didn’t think he would have been able to remember half the steps properly otherwise.
As much as he tried to gather his wits again, the rest of the concert went much in the same way. His mind was far away, too busy thinking about Yunho and the look on his face to focus on anything else for too long. His mind always ended up straying back to his best friend and how close they had been.
Once they were backstage, Mingi’s mind still wasn’t fully there, his thoughts far away. He knew he had to talk to Wooyoung, he knew the situation, and he would surely know what to tell Mingi to make him come back to himself.
He hurried through taking off the worst of the sweat and makeup and changing out of his concert outfit, he wanted to get to his hotel room as quickly as possible. His hotel room where he would be away from Yunho and where he could talk with Wooyoung without being overheard.
“You’re going somewhere?”
Mingi looked up, his heart speeding up at the sight of Yunho. He had changed his clothes, but there was still sweat clinging to his hairline and neck and Mingi couldn’t take his eyes away from it.
“No?”
It was more a question than an answer, Mingi’s brain too muddled to come up with anything else.
“You got ready really quickly, that's all,” Yunho explained.
Mingi nodded, unsure of what else to say in a way that he had never been around Yunho. He had known Yunho for so long, was so comfortable with him, and had spent so many hours, days and nights, talking to him, that not knowing how to act around him felt like the floor slipping away from under his feet.
Apparently, it must have shown on his face or Yunho just knew him too well because his eyebrows furrowed and his expression took an edge of concern as he looked at Mingi.
“Everything okay?” He asked.
Mingi nodded.
“Yes,” he said quickly, too quickly. “Why wouldn’t it be?”
Yunho kept staring at him, confused.
“You seem weird,” Yunho said.
“I’m fine,” Mingi said.
He could tell that Yunho didn’t fully believe him, he was still looking at Mingi with the same concerned expression and it looked like he wanted to press him for more. But he didn’t. In the end, he thankfully only nodded and went back to the mirrors on the other side of the room to wipe off the makeup and sweat off his skin.
Mingi wasn’t sure if he was glad or not.
On the drive to the hotel, Mingi put his hood over his head and his earphones, closing his eyes and resting his head against the window so the others would think he was tired and wouldn't ask questions. He didn’t think he could handle any questions right now, especially because he didn’t think he would have answers for them.
He disappeared down the corridor to his room as quickly as he could, barely wishing anyone a good night. He hoped the others would chalk it up to him being tired and that they wouldn’t question him in the morning but, for now, he could only hope and get away.
The door to his room falling closed behind him felt like letting oxygen into his lungs after holding his breath.
He took a quick shower, changed into his pyjamas and did his skincare without letting his mind stray too far. He didn’t want to think about it, at least until he was safe in bed and with Wooyoung on the phone, so he went about his routine while shutting his brain off as much as he could.
It wasn’t too successful and the image of Yunho looking at him from so close kept invading his mind, but it was better than allowing every thought to run free.
When he finally got in bed and picked up his phone, there was already a text from Wooyoung waiting for him.
I saw videos of the concert
Call me when you can
Mingi sighed. He couldn’t avoid it any longer.
“ Hey,” Wooyoung said as he picked up the call.
“Hi,” Mingi greeted, not even bothering to make himself sound more enthusiastic than he felt.
Wooyoung already knew everything, anyway.
“ So ,” Wooyoung started, jumping straight into the topic. “ How was the concert ?”
“You know how the concert was.”
“ No, I don’t. I saw videos but that doesn’t tell me what the concert was like for you .”
Mingi sighed.
“Awful.”
The exaggeration startled a laugh out of Wooyoung.
“Come on ,” he said. “ It couldn’t have been that bad .”
“The way he was looking at me was even worse this time,” he groaned.
“ Did he want to eat you again ?”
He should have known that Wooyoung would never let his words go.
“Yes, Wooyoungie, it looked like he wanted to eat me again.”
Wooyoung hummed.
“ Maybe he does want to eat you. Just, you know, not literally. ”
“I don’t know what you mean,” Mingi grumbled.
Wooyoung was silent for a second and the longer he stayed without saying anything, the more Mingi worried about what he was about to say.
“ Mingi-yah, try not to freak out on me when I talk and actually listen.”
Mingi gulped, nothing good could come out of Wooyoung being this serious with him.
“I’ll try,” he promised because that was the most he could do right now.
“ You keep telling me he was looking at you all intensely and I saw that when you were practising and today in the videos. You could feel the tension and there couldn’t be that much tension if you were the only one feeling it.”
“What do you mean?”
“ I mean that I don’t think Yunho looked at you like that because he was performing. I think he looked at you like that because he feels that intensely about you.”
Mingi stayed silent, words failing him as Wooyoung’s words ran across his brain. He didn’t know what to think. His first instinct was to deny, tell Wooyoung he was seeing things that weren’t there and to hang up the call before he could get anything else in his brain. But, another part of him, a hopeful part of him that he was afraid of acknowledging, wanted to think about what Wooyoung was saying, wanted to take the words and look them over carefully.
“Think about it,” Wooyoung was saying. “ We don’t look at each other like that when we’re performing.”
And it was true. They had never looked at each other like that, even when they made eye contact, even when it felt intense with the adrenaline of performing running through their veins, it had never felt like it had with Yunho.
“ You can’t be the only one feeling it,” Wooyoung repeated.
Mingi didn’t want to assume anything, he didn’t want Wooyoung’s words to get to his head and make him believe something that wasn’t even there. But he couldn't deny that Wooyoung’s words made sense, at least to the hopeful part of his brain.
“I don’t know, Youngie, what if it’s nothing and I’m confusing myself more.”
“ But what if it is something and you get more out of it? You might get what you want.”
“I don’t even know what I want though,” Mingi lamented.
“ Well, maybe you should start there.”
Wooyoung was probably right, Mingi just had to be brave enough to face the feelings he didn’t want to acknowledge.
“ It’ll be okay, Mingi-yah,” Wooyoung reassured and Mingi tried to believe him.
***
Thinking about his feelings and understanding them was easier said than done.
Mingi knew, in theory, what the thoughts that ran through his head when Yunho was near, when he was looking at him, meant, but theory didn’t mean much when he had to deal with his feelings right now, in this moment.
He tried to be logical, to think past the stage and Wonderland and performing so close to Yunho’s face. He made his brain put the image of Yunho’s eyes and his expression in the back of his mind for now and thought about everything else. All his interactions with Yunho since they met until now.
It had been so long, so many years already. Yunho was someone that had come into Mingi’s life unannounced and had stayed with him through thick and thin as the days and months eventually turned into years. Yunho was, arguably, the most important person in his life and Mingi knew, without a doubt, that he wouldn’t trade him or what they had for anyone or anything.
That was something he had always known, something that was crystal clear to him, there was no denying any of it for him, so there was no point even trying to. But the feelings lying underneath all of it, the ones that had come to life only recently, those were new and he had yet to make sense of them.
Because he couldn’t deny that Yunho brought forth feelings in him that no one else did.
When he allowed himself to really think about it, he could see that being around Yunho was different from being around anyone else. There was a level of understanding and comfort that was intrinsically connected to Yunho, there was something about Yunho that felt like home , plain and simple.
Mingi thought back to all the times when they had been there for each other, all the times Yunho had held him when he needed it and all the times he had done the same thing right back to him. He remembered all the talks and conversations they had through the years, all the plans they had made based on their illusions for the future. Even back when they had met and becoming an idol was their wildest dream, they had talked about the possibility of doing it together.
And now, here they were, succeeding together.
It was lovely to think about, that fate had been in their favour in so many ways over the years and Mingi didn’t want to take it for granted.
If Mingi really thought about it all, there was only one word for what he felt for Yunho.
He had been planning to spend his life next to Yunho for as long as they had known each other, he couldn’t imagine himself without Yunho by his side, he wanted Yunho with him always. And, he could see now, that it wasn’t just as a friend.
He wanted to hold Yunho’s hand, he wanted to hug him whenever he felt like it (even more than he already did), he wanted to cuddle him to sleep, to take him out to their favourite places. He wanted to kiss him and he wanted Yunho to kiss him back. And he wanted Yunho to want all of those things with Mingi too.
He breathed in deeply, the weight of his realization settling in his chest. In a way, it felt scary, to know what he felt, to be aware of something that was hard for any normal person, but harder for them considering the country where they lived and the industry where they worked. In another way though, it felt freeing, like letting go of all his inhibitions and letting himself feel fully how limitless his feelings for Yunho were.
It was scary but having Yunho by his side was so inevitable that Mingi couldn’t let it affect him that much. He couldn’t be too surprised by it, not when it felt just like any other truth about his relationship with Yunho.
Mingi loved Yunho.
Falling in love with Yunho had been inevitable and Mingi couldn’t do anything to change that. He didn’t want to change it. Because this was Yunho and if someone deserved to be loved, it was him. Yunho deserved all the love in the world and Mingi would make sure to give it to him.
***
Performing Wonderland at the second concert wasn’t easier than at the first one. Having Yunho that close to him, grabbing at him and pulling him closer, looking at him with eyes that held wants that Mingi was afraid he was reading too much into, felt almost like pulling at his hair.
Though, at least, Mingi now knew his feelings so it was easier to understand the fluttering in his chest and the tightness in his stomach. And Mingi wasn’t afraid of it now.
He leaned closer to Yunho’s face instead of pulling back, touched his neck and tried to tell him everything through his eyes. Tell him how much he wanted to pull him closer, how much he wanted to erase all the space between them and feel his body, his lips, against his own.
He wasn’t sure if Yunho had understood him, if he had been able to read between the lines of his face and guess what he was thinking and what he felt, but he didn’t let it deter him. He didn’t shy away from being close to Yunho during the rest of the concert, didn’t shy away from touching him subtly any chance he got; a hand on the back here, a bumping of shoulders there.
And, surprisingly, whether it be because it meant nothing much to him or because he was receptive to Mingi’s advances, Yunho didn’t pull away from him once.
As the night progressed, Mingi found it more difficult to not let himself hope, sensing the same intensity in Yunho's gaze that he felt inside. He didn’t want to read too much into things, didn’t want to imagine what he wanted to see, but it got increasingly difficult to deny anything when Yunho kept staring at him.
Even backstage, in the post-concert chaos, in between taking off makeup and changing out of stage outfits, with all the members between them, every time Mingi looked at Yunho he would find him already looking at him.
Mingi felt on edge, unsure of what was going on, unsure of what Yunho was thinking, but aware that something was happening. He was just waiting with bated breath for them to leave the venue, to get into the van and drive to the hotel, where they could finally talk and he could find out what was going on between them, if Yunho’s head was in the same place that his was or if he was going to tell Mingi to stop staring at him, to take a step back. If he would even talk to Mingi.
He wasn’t sure if the other members had noticed anything different about them, but it had been impossible not to notice the looks they had sent their way, eyes shifting between him and Yunho, while they were in the elevator. And the way they hadn’t even blinked when they had gotten off on the right floor and Yunho had followed Mingi down the corridor to his room.
They had seemed less surprised than Mingi was.
He looked at Yunho with a frown, confused as to why he was following him when his room was on the other side of the corridor, and Yunho merely raised an eyebrow at him, not saying anything.
“What are you doing?” He asked.
Yunho stared at him for a second, his gaze moving from his face to the door behind him.
“Open the door, Mingi-yah.”
Mingi stared at him, unsure of what was happening.
“Is everything alright?” He asked.
“The door.” Yunho pointed at it.
Mingi gulped, turning around to use his keycard and pushing the door open.
“Get in,” Yunho said.
Mingi nodded, doing what he was told. He thought he would do anything Yunho told him to at that moment. At any moment.
He walked into his hotel room and the sound of the door closing behind Yunho was deafening in the silent room.
“You’ve been staring at me a lot,” Yunho said, interrupting Mingi as he was about to turn on the light.
The room was still dark, only the dim light coming from the window illuminating it and Mingi was turned away from Yunho. He couldn’t see the expression on his face and, for once, he couldn’t read the intent behind his words.
He bit his lip. He knew why he had been staring at Yunho, was aware of his feelings now and had been confident enough in them to not shy away from their meaning, but now that he was being confronted by Yunho himself, he only wanted to hide, uncertainty clinging to him.
“Aren’t you going to say anything?” Yunho asked.
“I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“Why have you been staring at me?”
And what was Mingi supposed to say? That he had realized that he wanted Yunho in more ways than he should? That he wanted to press their bodies together and kiss him? That he loved him?
“Answer me, Mingi-yah,” Yunho said and his voice was demanding and closer than it had been before.
“Are you sure you want me to answer?” Mingi asked.
Mingi finally turned around then, looking at Yunho.
He was standing tall, his back straight and his chin high. He looked confident and if Mingi didn't know him so well that would be all he saw on his face. But Mingi did know him, he knew him better than most, and, therefore, he could see the hesitance that was hiding behind his eyes.
"Yes."
Mingi wet his lips, looking at the door behind Yunho to gather his thoughts. If he was going to say anything about how he felt, and it seemed like they were both aware of what that was, it would have to be now.
"There's no going back if I talk."
Yunho looked at their feet for a second and when he looked back up again the hesitation in his eyes seemed to have diminished and he looked more determined than anything.
"I know."
Mingi nodded, steeling himself for what was about to happen next.
If Yunho was telling him to talk knowing what was going through his mind, then he couldn’t be mad about it, it couldn’t be a bad thing even though Mingi couldn’t really guess what was going through Yunho’s mind right now.
Mingi pursed his lips, inhaled and then started talking.
“I’ve been staring at you because I think you’re beautiful,” Mingi said and it was true but it only began to scratch the surface of what he thought of Yunho.
He saw Yunho sigh in what he thought was relief as if he hadn’t been sure if Mingi would talk after all. That, and the openness that was appearing on Yunho’s face, with no signs of being weirded out by his admission, made Mingi’s courage resurface.
“I’ve always thought you were beautiful but I’m seeing you differently now.”
“Differently how?” Yunho asked, taking a small step forward so he was standing closer.
“When I think of you now, I think of things that I haven’t before.”
“Like what?”
Yunho’s eyes were focused solely on him, wide and waiting.
“Like hugging you and holding your hand.”
“You already hug me and hold my hand,” Yunho pointed out.
“But I want to do it all the time,” Mingi said and after a second of hesitation where he just stared at Yunho, he decided it was time to let everything out. “I also want to kiss you.”
Yunho kept staring at him and then took one more step, their feet almost touching now.
“Kiss me where? Kiss me how?”
“I want to kiss you everywhere.” Mingi raised his hand to touch Yunho’s arms, his touch so featherlight he wasn’t sure Yunho could feel it through the fabric of his shirt. “I want to kiss you in every way.”
Mingi watched Yunho’s throat move as he gulped and the way his lips parted before he started speaking.
“You should kiss me then.”
It wasn’t a question or a demand but Yunho’s voice was lower, more enticing, his eyes pulling Mingi in.
“You want me to kiss you?” Mingi asked because although he had been talking about his feelings, Yunho hadn’t said anything concrete yet.
“Yes.” Yunho said, his hand falling to Mingi’s waist. “I want you to kiss me. I want to kiss you.”
Mingi nodded, gulping. Having the words out in the open, in front of him with Yunho staring at him with such open honesty in his face was making his heart race. His hands felt sweaty and Yunho was still staring at him, clearly waiting for Mingi to make the next move.
“It’s just me, Mingi-yah.”
Mingi chuckled.
“There’s nothing just about you.”
Yunho grinned, amused at the words and tilted his head to the side, pouting his lips.
“What are you waiting for?”
Mingi’s eyes travelled along Yunho’s face, reading his expression, cataloguing the way he was looking at him so serenely and openly. He wanted this, it was clear on his face, he wanted to kiss Mingi and Mingi would always give Yunho everything he wanted.
Slowly, he raised a hand to touch Yunho’s face, thumb caressing the soft apple of his cheek. He exhaled into the space between them when Yunho leaned into his touch, his eyes falling shut.
“I’m going to kiss you now,” he said softly.
Yunho nodded against his hand and Mingi couldn’t bring himself to wait a single more second.
He leaned in, brushing their lips together for a second, the first contact tentative. Yunho was his best friend of so many years, he knew that there was no coming back from this but, the moment he felt Yunho’s warm breath against his lips and the way he tilted his head to reach Mingi’s lips better, Mingi threw all caution out the window and placed his lips firmly over Yunho’s.
They both stopped for a second, their lips touching each other and sharp inhales as they closed their eyes, and then Mingi slotted their lips together properly and suddenly Yunho was all wrapped around him.
He was everywhere. His arms were around Mingi’s neck, his nose brushing his. He could taste him on his tongue and the only thing he could smell was the scent of Yunho’s cologne, musk from sweating during the concert still clinging to his skin under it.
Yunho kissed him enthusiastically, his hands messing up Mingi’s hair as if he had been waiting for this moment. Maybe he had. Maybe he had been wanting this too and had only been waiting for Mingi to realize it and do something about it.
They parted for a second to breathe and Mingi watched as Yunho’s eyes fluttered open to look at him.
Mingi didn’t waste another second before he kissed him again. He felt like now that he had gotten a taste of Yunho’s lips and tongue, he would never be able to part from him.
Yunho made a soft punched-out noise from the back of his throat and Mingi groaned, pushing and pushing until Yunho’s back hit a wall and Mingi was gripping his waist between his hands.
Yunho pulled at the back of his hair, pulled Mingi closer to him, their chests touching, Mingi’s leg parting Yunho’s to slot between them. Yunho groaned again, his nails scratching at Mingi’s scalp, and Mingi swallowed the noise like it was the only thing that could quench his thirst.
They panted against each other’s lips as they pulled back and then Yunho laughed breathlessly.
“What’s so funny?” Mingi asked, trying to catch his breath.
“I’m not laughing because it’s funny,” Yunho started, one of his hands moving to Mingi’s cheek, his thumb brushing under Mingi’s eyes gently. “I’m just relieved.”
Mingi smiled, turning his head slightly to press a kiss against Yunho’s wrist.
“Me too,” he said, glad that he could do all of this now, that Yunho was receptive to his touches and that he was reciprocating them.
Yunho laughed again, a happy sound as he slumped between Mingi’s body and the wall, relaxed. He brushed Mingi’s hair out of his forehead, leaning in to kiss his cheek tenderly.
“You’re so important to me, Mingi-yah,” he said against Mingi’s skin. “So important.”
Mingi gripped his waist tighter, pulling him closer to his body in a hug. He rested his head against Yunho’s shoulder and ran his nose over the skin of his neck. Yunho smelled so good. Yunho felt so good.
“You’re everything to me,” he mumbled against Yunho’s neck, feeling him shiver beneath his lips.
Yunho didn’t reply and the two of them stood locked in an embrace for longer than Mingi could count or cared to count. He just basked in the comfort of having Yunho in his arms, the lightness in his heart to know that he had let everything into the open, that Yunho felt the same way.
Yunho ran his hand up and down Mingi’s back, not making any moves to pull away either, and Mingi sighed contently, his eyes falling closed.
He thought he could fall asleep like this, standing up and leaning on Yunho’s solid presence, but there was a comfortable bed a few steps behind them and they were still sweaty from the concert, so, reluctantly, he pulled back to look at Yunho’s face.
“We should get ready for sleep.”
Yunho nodded.
“My things are in my room,” he said.
“You know you can borrow mine.” Mingi chuckled. “It won’t be the first time.”
There was no way Yunho would spend the night in his room and they both knew it. Not after everything that had happened and everything that had changed.
Yunho giggled.
“I was just making sure.” Yunho tapped two fingers against Mingi’s shoulder and Mingi took a step back. “Can I shower first?”
Mingi nodded and reluctantly, not wanting to let go of Yunho ever, he pulled back to go find something for Yunho to wear in his bag. He settled for a loose shirt and shorts, knowing they would fit Yunho properly, and handed them to him, flushing when Yunho leaned in to kiss his cheek before going into the bathroom.
Mingi sighed as he sat in his bed, a smile he couldn’t quite control breaking out on his face. He couldn’t believe tonight was real, that he was getting everything that had been running wild through his head lately.
He had kissed Yunho. His lips still tingled with the memory of Yunho’s.
He grabbed his phone from his nightstand, biting his lip as he started typing out a message.
Wooyoungie!!!!!!!!!
The reply came quickly.
Did something happen?
Before Mingi could type a reply, a call from Wooyoung popped up and Mingi picked up.
“Hello?” He said.
“ No time for hello,” Wooyoung said. “ Spill.”
Mingi laughed.
“You were right.”
“ I’m right about a lot of things,” Wooyoung pushed. “ Elaborate, please.”
“You were right,” Mingi repeated, his voice softer. “Yunho felt the same.”
There was a moment of silence and then Wooyoung gasped.
“ Did something happen?” He asked.
Mingi nodded with a wide smile on his face even though Wooyoung couldn’t see him.
“We kissed,” he confessed.
Wooyoung gasped again and Mingi laughed.
“ It was about fucking time!”
“Shut up,” he whined but nothing could erase his happiness. “Thank you, Wooyoungie.”
“ What for?” Wooyoung asked, his voice more serious.
“For helping me figure things out.”
“ I just pushed you a little in the right direction,” Wooyoung dismissed it. “ You both were the ones actually doing something.”
“I still think you helped out.”
Wooyoung snorted and Mingi could imagine him rolling his eyes.
“ Okay, you’re welcome, Mingi-yah, for my much needed, much important, much essential help.”
Mingi laughed and rubbed his face with a hand. He felt like he could explode with happiness.
“ I’m happy for you both,” Wooyoung said.
“Me too.”
They talked for a little more, Wooyoung begging for details and Mingi refusing to give them when Yunho was just a wall away. Wooyoung made him promise that he would share more once they were together in person and Mingi agreed with a laugh. They hung up the call soon after and Mingi laid back in the bed, as calm as he had been in a while.
He felt elated, his body buzzing with the excitement of everything that had developed that night and, as Yunho left the bathroom in Mingi’s clothes, hair soft and expression softer on his bare face, Mingi could only imagine what the future would bring them.
One thing was for certain, he knew that he wouldn’t let go of Yunho. He was too important, too crucial. Mingi loved him too much.
He took the quickest shower he could, ignoring the way Yunho laughed when he came back to the room with his hair still dripping a little to his neck.
Yunho was lying in his hotel bed, wearing his clothes, and, although it wasn’t the first time it happened, the image that Mingi’s mind conjured of Yunho lying on his bed back at home wearing his shirt felt like a punch to the gut. He wanted it more than anything.
He laid down in bed quickly, not hesitating for a second before he pulled Yunho to him, one of his hands wrapping around his waist and the other settling on Yunho’s thigh, pulling his leg over Mingi’s.
Yunho chuckled against his arm at his eagerness but didn’t comment and, instead, moved so his head was resting comfortably on Mingi’s chest.
“Good night,” Yunho said, turning to kiss Mingi’s chest.
Mingi sighed, his smile ever present, and turned to kiss Yunho’s head.
“Sleep well.”