Work Text:
The HM Dockyard of Portsmouth is one of the largest naval bases on the British Isles. The current First Sea Lord, HMS Dreadnought, resides here. Dreadnought’s office is a room of normal size. Various books and ship models occupy the shelves. A portrait of Jackie Fisher stands on the wall behind her.
Despite being the first all big-guns battleship, I’ve never truly been a fighter. Designing ships and naval doctrines was where I shined. Still, I stood ready to go to the front when my firepower was needed.
When exactly did you get the idea of the Royal Maid Corps ?
As soon as I got a full picture of the situation. Britain is an island. It has always been dependent on sea trade. This weakness became apparent during the Great War and later the Second. The Siren Wars ended up being the third. Without the US shipbuilding industry, we would have starved. As we began to regain the control of our seas, the need to strike the Sirens’ own supply lines became needed. We couldn’t stop their war machine, but at least throw a wrench in its gears. Germany took up to that role with their U-Boats – as soon as they got their heads out of their arses and began to summon shipgirls. Then they took escort duty as they had so many units at their disposal. Funny how their U-Boats used to sink merchant ships by the dozens and are now escorting them. The irony of the situation will never cease to amuse me.
But disturbing the Sirens’ supply lines wasn’t enough. In the early months of the war, they had established numerous outposts where they could organize their fleets. This is where I wanted to strike. To destroy that feeling of safety behind their walls, to make them fear us, just like when that magnificent bastard of U-47 sneaked inside Scapa Flow and torpedoed Royal Oak. This was my objective.
How did you proceed ?
The Royal Maid Corps existed long before it was turned into a Special Force unit. When we were brought back, we chose a purpose to adapt to this new life and this new form. The capital ships became knights. The Queen appointed Lizzie as her successor. The cruisers became maids due to their role of escorts in their first life. And you became a reporter because you wanted to keep a first-hand account of this conflict. Am I right ?
Yes.
I took my time in port to document myself on the various special forces units across the world. I read about their exploits, their tactics and their training.
[She looks at me with an amused expression.]
Now let me ask you a question. What’s the color of the boathouse in Hereford ?
---
Stirling Lines is a military base next to the village of Credenhill, located in Herefordshire. It houses the headquarters of the 22nd Special Air Service Regiment. It is named after one of the three founders of the unit : David Stirling. The base has significantly expanded since the beginning of the Siren Wars and, aside from other SAS regiments, houses several Royal Air Force squadrons. Callsign “Baseplate”, Commander of the Regiment, is a busy man, but after a few phone calls from Dreadnought, was able to grant me an audience. Due to the secret nature of the SAS, his features have been obscured, and a filter masks his true voice. However, a Scottish accent can still be heard.
We’ve run ops in more than 47 countries. When a job’s too dangerous for everyone else, we go in. The Regiment was founded in WW2 during the campaign in Africa. It has been active ever since. Our existence was only acknowledged by the government in 1980 during the Iranian Embassy Siege, when we rescued the hostages under the cameras.
When the Sirens Wars kicked in, we changed our strategies once we got reports of the enemy’s tactics. It was decided to merge with French, Belgian and Canadian units, like we had during WW2. It was a return to our roots, when we’d drop behind enemy lines to destroy their airfields and ammunition dumps. Do not mistake us for Team Rainbow, though. Their job is to deal with terrorism and Siren sympathizers and cults. The Germans even joined us for a couple of years, well at least before Bismarck almost single-handedly destroyed years of collective war effort. Dumb bitch.
It took us a couple of months to organize ourselves and get cohesive units. Siren controlled areas’ official designation is “Gray Territory”. We’d first send a recon team to locate the base and assess the defenses, then we would attack.
How ?
Same fashion as WW2 and Desert Storm. We used vehicles - mostly SUVs - that were modified to carry heavy weaponry, ammunition, explosives, spare parts and so on. If we had to attack from the sea, we’d use RHIBs to get on land. We managed to destroy dozens of these bases. First on our coasts, then in France, Belgium, Spain, Africa and around the world, notably the Pacific and Indian Ocean. Still, we paid a heavy price in those raids. The biggest being Operation Jaws.
What happened ?
The raid went awry. Objective was still accomplished but we had kicked the hornet’s nest. Pretty much every Siren land unit in the sector was now after us. We got rescued by shipgirls.
Who rescued you ?
Belfast and Glasgow. They provided shore bombardment, annihilating a good chunk of the forces surrounding us, then they closed in with their riggings. Swatted those Siren drones out of the sky in no time. An LST extracted us. We torched the vehicles which were beyond repair. It was kind of surreal, one instant, we were fighting for our own lives, the next we were offered tea. I thought I was dreaming for a second. It was like in ‘93, right after the battle of Mogadishu, when the Rangers fled to the stadium held by the UN and were offered drinks of fresh water. It was hastily prepared tea, "I must apologize, the quality is far below what I usually prepare”, Belfast told me. That smile… That bloody smile… Still the best tea I’ve ever had.
Still, even though we had been rescued, it wasn’t by no means a victory. The Regiment had suffered a severe attrition case. Replenishing our ranks would take time, and until then we were out of the war. I lost count of the names we added on the clocktower in the next weeks.
When were you contacted by Dreadnought ?
Less than a month later. Sirens had begun to rebuild their bases and strengthen their grip on Gray Territory. They were also moving their bases offshore. Infiltration by special forces couldn’t be done anymore. Too dangerous.
Dreadnought and I met at Chatham Dockyard. It was a museum back in the days, though the war had forced the Royal Navy to reactivate it. We talked and walked for several hours. Pleasant woman, I must say, different from what I expected.
[Baseplate marks a short pause]
I’ll be honest with you, I wasn’t a real fan of shipgirls. Think of it as an inter-service rivalry. The same way the Navy competes with the Army and Air Force. Some – I am not gonna give any names – could really use a foot up their ass or a good dress down for not taking this ordeal seriously or behaving like brats. Or when they aren’t outright contesting the chain of command or actually looking down on us regulars. War isn’t a game. But Operation Jaws had changed my view, and I was willing to cooperate. The talks continued on the next two weeks as we were debating which type of ship we could use, the potential tactics and formations and how we would train them.
We decided to settle on the cruisers. The Town-class – or Maids as they were usually called – were chosen as a sample. Why choose the cruisers you might ask ? Simple. Versatility. They have good firepower against light and medium armored units, their own armor ranges from decent to good, their torpedoes give them a good punch against capital ships, they’re fast and agile. Battleships and carriers were excluded because of their role as capital ships, thus rendering them too precious to be sent behind enemy lines and were easily recognizable thanks to their names. Destroyers were also excluded. The fact we were using child soldiers was already controversial enough.
Training began roughly one month after we first met. Surprisingly fast, but Dreadnought had her ways to obtain what she wanted. [He snickers] The more I looked at her and the more it seemed that Fisher’s ghost had returned from the dead.
First phase of the training was simple : PT – or physical training. Due to their superior strength and endurance, we had to increase our standards which were for the usual recruit 50 sit-ups, 60 press-ups in two minutes and a 1.5 run to complete under 10 minutes and 30 seconds. We doubled that. They had to be physically and mentally strong. When a recruit isn’t fit for the Regiment, they are kicked out. In this case however, we couldn’t afford to do that. Thus, aside from the usual verbal abuse, they were also encouraged to give the best of themselves. We bullied when we had to bully, we cajoled when we had to cajole and we motivated when we had to motivate. A good example was HMS Edinburgh who was sometimes subject to panic on the battlefield. A part of the training was to stop her from relying on her partner Sheffield. Or Dido and her fear of being abandoned. I found myself playing the counseling advisor several times, even though I had no formation for that.
Strange times we’re living in. I learned more about naval history and mythology during those weeks than in my entire life.
Second phase of the training was survival in extreme conditions. When they’re on sortie, shipgirls depart from a "mothership". The "mothership" varies. Sometimes it’s a simple landing craft, sometimes it’s a whole LHD where attack choppers and STOVL fighters can provide air support. Here, the Maids would have to be able to survive on their own, without "mothership", air support and if need be, a Commander.
For that, we used – and improved – the Annual Fitness Test in Wales. They would have to rally to a destination carrying a certain amount of weight under a limited time. The weight was increased until it would be similar to their riggings. Then we added the additional supplies they’d carry during their missions. The navigation part was skipped. Compass, sextant, stars… it was already in their blood. The final part of the AFT was to climb the Pen y Fan mountain. Usual recruits must do that in less than 20 hours. They were given 12. Belfast managed to do it in 10.
The Maids were also taught to survive in the jungle and the desert. As a bit of trivia, during a run in Africa, Sirius accidentally found the grave of Jock Lewes, one of three founders of the Regiment. Killed during WW2, he had been buried in the desert. His grave was never found. We repatriated his body later so he could be buried with full military honors.
We simulated the long range missions with the Great Lakes in Canada. Pools large enough actual storms can form, like the one in 1913.
Third part was to train the Maids to fight without their riggings. Shipgirls can only use their rigging on land for a short time without running out of fuel. After that, it becomes useless. The problem was partially solved with the Sherpa – an exoskeleton designed by General Electric but it also restrained their freedom of movement and made them relatively slow. They could still sprint, but it was a far cry compared to what they could do on sea. We found a partial alternative by training them with firearms. Old fashioned assault rifles had become obsolete against enemies like the Sirens – they did little to no damage to them, except those with a higher caliber. This was partially the reason why Operation Jaws was such a meat grinder for us, they would just soak up the damage, despite us landing all of our shots, not to mention their regenerative capabilities. That had been an absolute nightmare for the regular forces at the start of the war.
Still, overtime, the infantry received some new toys to stay in the fight. First thing was the generalization of explosive and incendiary rounds – the latter did wonders against the Sirens as it turned their ability to regenerate into a curse. Then assault rifles firing caseless armor piercing rounds, automatic micro-missiles launchers the size of a SAW made their appearance, energy directed weapons... Germany even developed a fully automatic railgun AR. It came, however, at the price of a barrel wearing out extremely fast, forcing the user to either fire in single only or to carry spare barrels on the field. And then of course you had the power armors, like General Electric’s Sherpa.
That said, firearm training was just a step for another idea Dreadnought was working with the Royal Arsenal. If the rigging couldn’t be brought on land, then at least part of it might be. That’s how they developed mounts taking the shape of a gun’s grip where turrets of the secondary battery and various accessories – searchlight, radars – could be attached. Sheffield enjoyed them so much they became her primary weapons. She also – somehow – managed to modify them so they could work as vacuum cleaners.
Vacuum cleaners ?
I shit you not.
[He chuckles]
It’s silly but the idea of a maid dual wielding vacuum cleaners, has always been a funny image. The Tactical Maid. This image was developed in a more serious direction when they learned to camouflage themselves. A maid dress isn’t exactly the stealthiest thing in the world and it’d get in the way. Note that I’m talking about the Serene Steel Pattern Combat Dress which is their standard uniform in combat, not the custom dresses they use for propaganda shots which are even more impractical. Still, the Serene Steel Combat Dress could not be employed everywhere.
We also had a few hand-to-hand combat sessions. Plenty of bruises and a couple of broken bones. Even without rigging, they still have that superhuman strength. After that came the part where they would have to learn how to fly.
To fly ?
Wings are on our badges because it’s in our blood. We strike from above. Airborne infiltration is one of the keys of our combat doctrine. A single unit of paras can wreak havoc behind enemy lines. Now imagine what a group of cruisers can do when they carry the firepower of an entire tank division. We jump from a high altitude then open our chutes at the last moment. High Altitude Low Opening – HALO. Riggings were once more modified to carry the parachutes, and came with an emergency handle, in the case of a malfunction, and thus if they had to be ditched mid-flight. Scuttling charges were added in the case they were damaged beyond repair and had to be torched.
Azur Lane’s combat doctrine. The seabed of some areas is completely littered with riggings and MP ships.
Ironbottom Sound 2.0. "Ships are expendable, shipgirls aren’t." For us it’s "No one gets left behind."
Before the Siren Wars, we pulled the best from the Army, Navy and Air Force. Only a handful made it through training. Strength, skill and determination were and still are the three mandatory criterias. But more importantly, you need character . After five weeks of this regime, we coined the commanding officers for the Corps : Belfast, who would become the Head Maid, and Sheffield as the Second-in-Command. But before that, they would have to pass one last test. The final part of the training was a fake interrogatory to test their mental limits. This is where a good chunk of our candidates usually fail. The goal is to know how much they can take if they are captured by the enemy. If they break, they are kicked out. We can’t afford to put the rest of the unit in danger if one member isn’t reliable. There wouldn’t be any exception for the Maids here.
Did they make it through ?
The sample group did. They performed admirably, Belfast especially. She actually managed to turn the tables during her test. Her main trait of personality, aside from her perfectionism, is her extreme patience. No matter the situation, she never, ever, raises her voice. Pissing her off is an achievement by itself. Angering her to the point her Irish accent slips off will fall to the domain of exploits, albeit not the good ones. Beneath her well mannered facade is undoubtly the angriest Celt I’ve ever seen. If you had told me she was a descendant of Cú Chulainn, I would have believed you. That woman is the very definition of an iron fist in a velvet glove.
The next groups weren’t as successful sadly. The relationship we had with the Maids wasn’t the one of an instructor and a recruit, but more similar to a teacher and a student. And when you spend some time with them, bonds are formed. So seeing your students failing the tests is a bit saddening, because you know somewhere you have also failed. It doesn’t mean it was the end of the line for them, though. Bellona, per example, used the acquired experience to become one of the Royal Knights.
---
The sun is slowly setting down on Portsmouth. The naval base is still buzzing with activity however. Dreadnought is looking through the window, a pensive expression adorns her face.
How did their first deployment go ?
A complete success. Data collected on the field was later used to improve their tactics and training for the next groups. Each maid brings her own set of skills. Individually, they’re lethal. Combined, they are unstoppable. Just ask any former Vichya or Ironblood personnel when we raided Saint Nazaire for the second time. Or any Siren POW in fact. Needless to say, Baseplate and I were quite relieved. Much like Stirling in 41, we butted heads with higher ups who had their doubts about the project. There was nothing more satisfying to see the look on their faces when the results were shown to them. The project was validated, and the Maids got their own facilities.
There were doubts about the project ?
Yes. Just like Fisher, I made plenty of enemies at the Admiralty myself and they would have loved to see it fail so their own projects could be validated instead. We are selfish by nature. Just like when Beresford was constantly trying to hamper Fisher’s reforms, or when Beatty threw Jellicoe under the bus to save his career after Jutland. There is always someone somewhere who will consider themselves better than you and will try to outrank you in the chain of command. I am no exception to that rule. I had to scheme to get to this current place, including throwing a couple of officers under the bus.
While I have often been credited for the RMC’s creation, but that isn’t true. I came up with the idea, but without the Baseplate’ help, they wouldn’t never have been as effective as they are today. If anything, he should take most of the credit. It doesn’t mean the RMC is a daughter unit of the Regiment however. They use their training methods, but they have their own combat doctrines, like the SBS or the Delta Force. Each Special Force unit is different, the RMC is no exception.
Today, the Royal Maid Corps is a well-respected unit within the British Armed Forces and among the SF community. Their name may sound goofy at first but they are a force to be reckoned with. They are young and have a long way to go, but they already have made a name for themselves.
I’ve heard the Royal Family always have one watching over them.
Correct. If the SAS became publicly known when they stormed the Iranian Embassy, the RMC became known world-wide when they stopped a terrorist attack targeting the Queen. It was right before she would nominate Lizzie as Queen Regent. Since then, there is always a maid keeping watch over the family. You will find at Windsor Castle a chapel. There are inscribed the names of the maids who have fallen in the line of duty and whose Cubes could not be recovered. This alone speaks how much the Royal family have respect for them and want to honor their names and memories. Not even the Royal Knights have been granted such privilege.