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In terms of initiating… conjugal relations, Sui Zhao had always been more forthcoming than Tang Fan.
Due to several reasons, which Tang Fan neither had the time nor energy to ponder upon, he had never particularly felt the need to… bed someone. Well, yes there had been situations in which he could have perhaps benefited from at least having the capability to feign a genuine interest in women (like Sui Zhao had managed to do with that doctor’s daughter in Datong with infuriating conviction). But as he had once told a dear friend- If it wasn’t Sui Zhao, it wasn’t right.
So, yes- Tang Fan has never initiated anything but he also never had any reason too. Sui Zhao was always more than willing, and it always worked out in Tang Fan’s favour because, irrespective of Wang Zhi’s taunts, it was way easier to play the reluctant, coy mistress than to take the sole responsibility of someone’s pleasure in bed.
Which is why he felt the ground shake beneath his feet shake the day Sui Zhao pushed him away.
* * *
Initially, Tang Fan didn’t notice anything amiss. After spending almost 25 years together, little disturbances in the daily routine rarely registered. And in this situation, there weren’t even little disturbances.
Sui Zhao started at him with as much love in his eyes as he had always done. Dinner was just as sumptuous; perhaps more so because Dong’er was visiting. In fact, even if something was amiss, Tang Fan wouldn’t have had the opportunity to notice because both Sui Zhao and he were neck deep in responsibilities at the moment.
Dong’er was pregnant. With her second child.
She was originally supposed to have stayed with Tang Yu but Pei Huai had recently decided to journey towards the West, taking his wife and their ten-year-old daughter in tow. Ah-Cheng was a full-time working civil official now.
“It’s highly irresponsible, that’s what this is,” Tang Fan grumbled as he struggled not to drop Dong’er’s squirming first-born on his head. “How could your husband leave you alone in this condition? Ah-Ying! If you keep this up, I will ask the Giant Toad to come and take you away tonight.” The last part was directed at the five-year-old gremlin on his lap who was trying to worm his way out of Tang Fan’s clutches to go chase the neighbourhood cat sitting on their wall. He was the kind of child who would actively follow the Giant Toad to his bog in the middle of the night without the slightest hesitation.
Dong’er made absolutely no attempts to take her son back. Instead, she decided to lean back on her chair and sigh. “I was the one who told Ah-Rui to stay back. He needs to prepare for his trip to Gaoli. We need to make sure that branch is up and running before the New Year’s.”
“Gaoli?” Sui Zhao asked as he laid down two more steaming bowls on the table, “You both are extending the sweet shop business abroad?”
Though his tone obviously betrayed a rare note of pride and warmth, Tang Fan had other issues to address, “If Yang Rue was already planning so far ahead, why did he decide to impregnate you during-”
“Runqing.”
Dong’er raised her eyebrows in incredulity. It has been ages since she had heard that warning tone from Sui Dage. That too directed at his beloved.
Tang Fan narrowed his brows in return. “What? Am I not supposed to ask how these two young lovebirds let themselves get so carried away that…”
His rant was cut off midway by Sui Zhao abruptly standing up from the table to deftly extract Yang Ping from Tang Fan's clutches.
“Come on, Ah-Ping, let’s go see the cat. And you,” he directed coldly at Tang Fan, “do keep in mind that there is a baby in the house.” Since his audience was too stunned to answer, he took the opportunity to walk away with the toddler in his arms.
Tang Fan made sure he was far enough away before he finally started speaking again. “Hardly a baby. More of a swamp monster,” he grumbled under his breath.
Rather than stepping up in her son’s defence, Dong’er shrugged in agreement. “I really hope this one is a girl.”
“You were a girl too,” Tang Fan pointed out, “Still turned out to be a monster.”
Dong’er agreed with this too. Honestly, she was too exhausted, too bloated and too nauseous to disagree with anything much right now. She also had to pee.
“What’s up with him?” she tilted her head in the direction Sui Zhao had headed off to. “Last time I saw you both, Wang dage compared the two of one of those two headed gargoyles that the Crown Prince has newly installed at the palace gates. You two were literally fused together.”
Tang Fan gave her a look.
Dong’er rolled her eyes. “You know I didn’t mean it in that sense.”
“I wish you did.”
“What?”
“Nothing.”
They sank into a rather uncomfortable silence.
Tang Fan clearly wanted to say something. Dong’er just wasn’t sure she could handle this discussion right now. She was seven months swollen up.
And she had to pee.
“So…”
“We don’t have to talk about it,” Tang Fan snapped irritably.
“But you clearly want to,” Dong’er pointed out.
“It’s nothing.”
Dong’er rolled her eyes again but kept silent.
“Well, it’s something," Tang Fan began again, just as she had predicted, "But… it’s mostly nothing.”
“Is it something you would feel more comfortable talking to Wang dage about?” Dong’er suggested helpfully. “However…” something even more uncomfortable suddenly flashed across her mind.
“However what?” Tang Fan squinted his eyes.
Dong’er took a deep breath. “However, you are 50. And Sui Dage is even older. So… if there’s something wrong… medically, you might want to talk to Pei Huai inste-”
“Medically!?”
It took Tang Fan some extra seconds to even grasp what Dong’er was getting at.
“Well, past 50, things in that department do become more complicated, right?” Dong’er reasoned. “I have this friend who sells… well you know. But they don’t really work. When you’re of that age, you really do have to visit a physician and-”
“That’s not the issue!” Tang Fan screeched, his face an alarming shade of red.
“Then what’s the issue?” Dong’er frowned.
Tang Fan tried to reel himself back in. He heaved in a few breaths before leaning in to whisper: “He can. He just doesn’t want to. Now.”
Dong’er’s frown deepened. “How do you know he can if he doesn’t want to?”
It was Tang Fan’s turn to roll his eyes. “Because I… Ifeltitokay?”
“What?”
“I. Felt. It.” He gritted out through clenched teeth. “He still likes it… likes me, I guess?”
“Well… duh?” Dong’er deadpanned.
“I actually wasn’t sure of that,” Tang Fan confessed. “I mean, it’s not like I had a lot of time to think about it with you and Ah-Ping here but… I couldn't help but wonder.”
“You think Sui Dage is interested in someone else?” Dong’er couldn’t help but laugh. “After all these years? Are you losing that God-gifted brain of yours, Tang dage?”
Tang Fan threw her a rather disgruntled look. “I know it doesn’t make sense but… why else would he just… withdraw?”
Dong’er shrugged. “Maybe he’s just not in the mood? I know I’m often not in the mood for Yang Rue-”
“We are NOT talking about your husband’s dick,” Tang Fan snapped.
“Sure,” Dong’er agreed again, “Let’s talk about the dick of your husband some more. The guy who is pretty much my father.”
* * *
“Why don’t you want to touch me anymore?”
A pan cluttered down.
“Runqing.”
The same warning tone.
However, this time, Tang Fan wasn’t the least bit intimidated. He needed to address this. As plainly as possible. They needed to have this conversation and Sui Zhao needed to contribute.
“Guangchuan.”
“Let’s talk about this later.”
Tang Fan stepped in front of the doorway to prevent Sui Zhao from walking away.
“Is there someone else?” his tone was brittle glass.
In a second Sui Zhao’s entire face contorted in disbelief and confusion. “What?”
Tang Fan knew he had to push forth irrespective of how uncomfortable this discussion made him.
“It was you who decided that you wouldn’t marry or take concubines for me,” he pointed out. “I never forced you to do that.”
“And?” Sui Zhao remained frowning in utter bewilderment.
“And,” Tang Fan sucked in a deep breath before continuing, “And maybe you regret it now. Maybe you’re rethinking your decisions.”
Sui Zhao remained silent for a minute. His eyes never once leaving Tang Fan’s face.
“Do you regret it?”
“Me?” Tang Fan’s brows shot up. “Why would I regret you not taking a wife?”
Sui Zhao struggled to maintain his calm. “Do you regret not taking a wife yourself?”
“Why on earth would I regret something like that?” Tang Fan shot back, “For me there has never been anyone else.”
“Then, how dare you ask me that question?” Sui Zhao fumed.
“Well, there was that doctor’s daughter who you-”
“Runqing.”
It wasn't fear that made Tang Fan stop but rather the very obvious hurt in Sui Zhao’s eyes. However, he had to address his own hurt as well.
“Why do you push me away then?” he asked, his voice sounding too pathetic for his own ears, “No. Don’t deny it, Sui Zhao. You did it today and yesterday and the day before that in the-”
“-in the kitchen,” the way Sui Zhao completed the sentence was an answer in and of itself. “Dong’er comes into the kitchen.”
Tang Fan stared on blankly.
“So does Ah-Ping,” Sui Zhao’s eyes begged Tang Fan to understand, “He’s always sneaking in to steal the osmanthus sweets we keep in the shelf.”
“What does this… Okay, but why did you push me away yesterday night? That wasn’t in the kitchen. We were in the bedroom,” Tang Fan pointed out.
“Dong’er room is just opposite the hallway,” Sui Zhao reasoned. “And you know she’s not getting much sleep now that it’s her seventh month.”
Tang Fan kept gaping at his husband in disbelief.
"Runqing, we are grandparents now," Sui Zhao begged his husband to understand.
Tang Fan shook his head. “Dong’er and Ah-Ping came here a month ago. You are going to deny bedding me for the next two months?” the last part went up in pitch to become a shrill screech.
Sui Zhao frowned. “Well, I don’t think any of us will be getting any sleep in the next six months after the birth either. And Yang Rue isn’t going to be back from Gaoli for at least…”
“I am sending a memorial to the Emperor,” Tang Fan raged as he started storming out. Sui Zhao quickly caught him by the arm.
“What on earth are you-”
“A memorial requesting the majesty to halt all overseas trade for the upcoming year.”
A rare helpless laugh burst forth out of Sui Zhao.
“You’ll ruin your son-in-law’s career prospects to get bedded? What does that say about you, Runqing?”
“You’ll not ruin your son-in-law’s career prospects to bed me? What does that say about you, Guangchuang?”