Chapter Text
It was over.
They had won.
It didn't seem real at all, but it was. The proof of this was on Raine's boots, the rotting, flesh that dripped from their leather boots, the last proof left of the emperor's cursed body.
They had done it.
And now that the adrenaline started to disappear from their body, their body suddenly sank into fatigue, and they felt their arms ache like crazy, and their breathing also seemed to be difficulted with sharp pain. They didn't let it show on their face though, as the Titan knew that even with the battle now over, there was still so much that needed to be done. Somewhere out there, their fellow fighters are still imprisoned in the body of a doll, their children whose fate they knew nothing about are out there, their people are confused and afraid, many have lost their homes, there was just so much to do. A lot to do that Raine didn't have the strength for at the moment.
They walked over to Eda and her children, relieved to see them all alive. The last time they had seen any of them had been a life-and-death situation with the Collector ruling their skies, turning everyone in his path into powerless puppets. They remember in horror how Eda tried to save her son only to transform and be captured by an all-powerful child god, Raine remembered how desperately they had tried to fight to save Eda and her son, only to fall and be imprisoned in a wooden prison. For the next months, they saw nothing, they lived in a dark void, the only sensation they felt were the threads around their joints and neck. but in the middle of this void had been the voice of their Calamity, who told them all that was happening, and who gave them the strength to survive.
Survive. It's what they've been doing for so long that they've forgotten how to live. But maybe now they can finally live.
Exhausted, they fell to their knees on the slightly wet grass, their body aching as they hit the ground, but they ignored it. Instead, they looked at Eda, who was laying so peacefully on the ground, taking the sweet rest that she deserved, her children by her side enjoying the warm sunshine as well. Minutes passed and Raine could do nothing but sit on the grass and watch the clouds floating in the sky, their head filled with thoughts.
"Hey, Rainestorm," a voice said very close to them and they were startled, their eyes looking towards the voice in panic, but their fear melting as soon as they met a pair of very familiar eyes, "Oh, shit, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," she said apologetically, sitting a little away from them.
"It's okay,” they replied, trying to calm their still-pounding heart with deep breaths.
"You looked like you were lost in another universe. You good?" they saw the worry in her eyes, which made their heart beat harder again with completely different emotions.
They nodded, and said, "Just tired,"
Eda's eyes instantly softened and she held out her hand to them, "Let's get you home then," she stood up, helping Raine up as well, giving their hand a little squeeze as she stepped closer to them and whispered, "It's okay if I take you to the Owl House? Or would you prefer that I take you to headquarters?"
The Catts headquarters, was where Darius, Eber, and the Batts would probably go, and Raine wanted so much to see them to make sure they were all right, but the black dots in front of their eyes told them they couldn't stay on their feet for long. They needed a break, they can look for their kids later.
"Owl House is fine," they replied, before adding, "But I have to find Fiddle first. She's somewhere in the ruins,”
The heaviness in Raine's words made Eda worry, she had noticed the pieces of the violin lying on the floor during the battle, but she had hoped she had seen wrong, "Of course," she gently pulled their hand towards where the ruins of the throne room were, refusing to let go of their hand.
It took them a long time to find every piece, Raine was so grateful for King and Luz's help with this, the two kids didn't ask any questions, they crawled under the ruins of the fallen castle and lifted heavy pieces of stone to find every piece of the broken palisman. Raine, however, knew they all had a lot of questions, Eda's worried face betrayed it every time they looked at the Bard witch, and Luz and King's nervousness around them was enough of a hint to Raine that many unanswered questions haunted the two of them. However, none of them asked anything, and Raine was very grateful for that, because if they had, Raine didn't think they would be able to answer. It was all just too much, and it hadn't fully dawned on Raine themself.
A strong sense of guilt attacked Raine's soul like a bunch of arrows, but this pain was eased a little when Eda promised them that it was nothing that could not be fixed and that her father could heal the little fox. She hid every piece they found in her hair, Raine wondering how it could hold so much even after Eda had cut it off. When that was done, Eda pulled them close to her, offering them a place on her palisman so they could fly to the Owl House, and the only answer an exhausted Raine could give her was a weary nod. Their flight was peaceful, the warm air stinging a little on their face, their skin feeling uncomfortably tender on their cheeks, luckily they were able to hide their face on Eda's shoulder, a contented sigh escaping their mouths as they rested against her, their arms hugging her a little tighter. Eda smiled softly, happy that they were back, she didn't want to admit it to herself, but in her head, she had already promised herself that she would never let them go again, she had lost them so many times, but not anymore. The two children were talking happily, their cheerful voices creating a peaceful environment, and Raine felt like they might fall asleep, but just before that happened, they landed. Their feet touched the ground and Eda took their hand, allowing them to lean on her.
It had been so many years since Raine had last been in this house, and now that they were looking at a house that had been robbed of all its possessions and defaced with horrible graffiti, Raine felt bad that they hadn't done anything to stop the coven Scouts from coming here. Eda, however, did not seem to be angry, instead, she smiled softly at them and led them into the house, which was empty and dark, but still had the warmth of home that Raine had longed for.
"Sit," Eda told them, helping them sit on the windowsill, "I'm looking for something for you to rest on," and before Raine could answer she was gone, out of the house, leaving Raine alone with the two children, who sat a little distance away talking to each other.
Their sharp musician ears heard Luz talking to her little brother about the human realm and everything that had happened to the girl in the past few months. Raine rested their head against the stone wall, their breathing calmed down, and their eyes were heavy but they kept them open, their gaze following Eda who was gathering branches from the bushes and trees a little way from the house. A gentle smile was on their lips as they looked at her, they had no idea why she was picking up those branches, but it was still reassuring to see her gathering them up and trying to hold them with her one hand while searching for more and trying to add new branches to her growing pile.
They blinked their eyes slowly, trying to wipe the tiredness away from them, but hopelessly, their eyes drooped shut, and they sank into the peaceful darkness. When Eda returned to the house, she smiled fondly at them, dropping her branches, and then knelt before them, beginning to build a tiny nest.
She was so focused on her work, her tongue peeking out from between her lips as she concentrated on arranging the branches, she didn't even notice her two kids approach until her apprentice asked, "Is Raine okay?"
The Owl Lady looked up with a sad smile, "I don't know," she turned to the sleeping witch who had their head in a very awkward position against the glass, "I'll deal with that, but a little later. Right now we all need a break,"
Luz nodded, then helped Eda reinforce the edge of the nest. Once that was done Eda got up and walked over to the window, reaching out to gently touch her former sweetheart's shoulder, her touch was gentle, but still enough to startle Raine with a small scream that they tried to swallow, she quickly pulled her hand away, looking at their panicked face, "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," Eda apologized for the second time that day, the worry growing inside her even more.
Her Raine had never been startled by unexpected touches.
"No, please don't apologize," they replied, adjusting their glasses, the lenses of which were cracked and probably making it difficult for them to see, "It's okay,"
For some reason, she didn't believe them, but decided not to mention anything at the moment, but instead asked their permission to touch, Raine gave her a sincere smile, taking her hand and allowing her to lead her towards the nest made of branches. She gently helped them lie down, Raine seemed to melt into the nest, they believed until the last moment that it wouldn't be comfortable but now they ate their thoughts as their body relaxed, and as if things couldn't get any better, Eda's head rested on their chest, holding them close. They don't know how long they were there, they heard the laughter of Eda and her children around them, their joy and peace, and they felt it too. A sense of peace and security that they haven't felt in so long. At some point, more voices came into the house, but Raine was too tired to react, they heard several familiar and not-so-familiar voices. Eda left their arms, and they already missed her, but a few minutes later she fell back right into their lap, and Raine opened their eyes, laughing briefly with her before they pulled her back into their arms, burying their face in her shoulder.
Eda laughed, tilting her head to rest against theirs, "Hello, Rainestorm,"
"Mhh,” came the tired reply against her neck.
It could be seen from their face that they were exhausted beyond reason, and since Eda had no desire to do anything else, she comfortably laid down between their arms, and enjoyed with them the peace that was given to them. The room around them was filled with laughter and celebration, but the two long-wandering lovebirds were in the middle of their own flight, happy to finally find their way back to each other. There was a lot to talk about, a lot of feelings to sort out, and secrets to share. But for a few minutes, they didn't have to think about it, because those things weren't important for now.
A smile fell from Raine's lips as they fell deeper into sleep, the dark void in front of their eyes slowly turned into colorful images, those images were blurry at first, and they couldn't tell what was there, but slowly the fog cleared and they saw her, it started from her shadow, a dark and ill-wishing shadow, she approached them, and they tried to crawl away, but her vines held them down, with nowhere to escape. They were drowned in the feeling of cold, their joints as wooden as a puppet, their body belonging to everyone else but to themself. A burning sensation filled their body as if a strong acid was entering their body through their mouth, robbing them of the last bit of control. In the midst of all the chaos, there was her cold voice, a terrible, icy voice whispering to them things that weren't real but only meant to torture them. She was close...her pain-willing hands touching their face, their body, their...
"Raine,"
Their eyes opened, and the images disappeared, replaced by a hazy world they could barely see. Stray tears had collected at the corners of their eyes, which slowly began to flow down as they opened their eyes, but were wiped away by someone's soft hand, and the said hand lifted their glasses back onto their eyes. They blinked their eyes, their vision clearing again, and like a blessing before them was their Eda.
"Eda? What happened?" they asked, rubbing the sleep from their eyes, and again they felt that uncomfortable scratching sensation under their eyes and on their cheeks.
"You had a nightmare,”
"Oh," was all they said, their eyes glancing over Eda's shoulder to find the living room completely empty apart from the two of them, "Where...where is everyone at?" they looked around, worry growing inside them, life had taught them paranoia that they were not ready to forget yet.
"The Collector made a new portal door, they're out looking at it," Eda replied, resting her head back on their shoulder, "I don't want to see what they're doing there, I heard them mention that the new door is attached to the house, I don't want to see them tearing down the house. Besides...” she cuddled closer to them, nuzzling her face into their neck making the other witch laugh, "it's much more comfortable here,"
"Eda..."
"I missed you,” she sighed against their sensitive neck.
"I missed you too,”
Her heart sang when she heard those words, and even though it didn't seem possible anymore, she hugged them even closer. It was such a perfect moment, nothing could ruin it or make it better.
"Hey you two, look who we found," Luz's cheerful voice rang out, the door opened and the girl walked in, followed by King and Lilith and a whole bunch of other people.
"We finally found you, Songbird, I feel stupid that we didn't come here first, because where else could you be but in Eda's house," said the tall, dark-skinned witch, his arms crossed over his chest.
Raine opened their mouth to greet their old friend, but they were interrupted by three happy voices, "NINI!" suddenly three teenagers ran out from behind Darius and rushed towards them, giving Eda only a second to jump out of the way before the three teenagers were on top of Raine hugging them tightly.
"Hello to you too,” the Bard laughed as they hugged the three teenagers.
The three were talking fast and loud, Raine couldn't understand any of the words, but they could tell the joy in their voices, and how their bone-crushing hug grew stronger and stronger.
"Okay, you hooligans, give them some space before you break them,” Eda ordered, grabbing Amber and Katya by the shirts and pulling the two of them away from Raine, giving the Bard the space they needed to breathe.
"Hey, it's been like...months,” Amber whined trying to break free of Eda's grip to get back to Raine.
"But if you hug them in half, they'll be in the hospital for a few more months," Eda pushed the girl away, keeping her within her arm's length, while the girl did grabby hands towards Raine.
"Where were you?" Katya asked the elder Bard, "You weren't at the Collector's Castle like everyone else was,”
"Umm, yeah, I wandered off a bit,” Raine replied, unable to say anything else, a nervous twinge growing in their guts.
All their thoughts suddenly went back to everything that had happened, everything that they had allowed to happen and that they could not stop. As these thoughts entered their mind, their body filled with nervousness, and their legs trembled beneath them. Everyone was watching them, they knew it. Everyone had questions that were left unanswered, and they were waiting for answers.
They looked up again to meet the occupants of the room, there were Eda and Darius looking at them a bit concerned, Raine's three children who looked confused, and Lilith, Eber, Luz, King, and Luz's biological mother, and also Hunter who looked more tired than Raine had never seen him, his face had new scars, and Raine wanted to kill whoever had inflicted them on this child.
"You got rid of the puppet spell?" Eda asked," Who else but ya could fight the spell of all-powerful godkid, Rainestorm,"
"Umm, not really,”
"Where did you go then?” asked Derwin.
Raine didn't get to answer him before Amber interrupted, "Who cares where they were, the better question is what they did. What badass battle were you in to come back with those scars?"
"What scars?” they looked at their daughter in shock, their face full of confusion.
"The ones on your face,” Amber continued, her every word seeming to squeeze the air out of Raine's lungs even more, “Like where did you get them? You didn't have them before, or I just didn't notice them?"
Eda's hand landed on the girl's shoulder, "Hey, kid, be dear and shush it," she told her before turning her attention to Raine, "Hey, Rainestorm, you okay?"
The Bard shook their head without thinking, Eda took a step closer to them, but on instinct Raine stepped back, making the cursed witch stop in half a step, "I...I think I need a moment,"
"Sure, you can go..." However, Eda didn't even get to finish her sentence before Raine rushed up the stairs,"...upstairs,"
The room fell into a tense silence after Raine left, people just looked at the stairs with questioning eyes, not knowing whether to follow them or not. The silence of the room was broken by Hunter looking nervously at the floor, his hands clutching the sweater tied around his hips.
"I…I think I know what happened,”
---
Their legs shook as they rushed up the stairs, their hands grasping the handrails to help pull themself up, a sharp pain running through their left arm every time they moved it, but they couldn't care less about the pain. With one sudden turn and a pull with an outstretched hand, they opened the bathroom door closing it behind them, their first urge was to grab onto the sink for support but their legs gave out first and they slid to the floor. The cold floor tiles of the bathroom greeted them as Raine tried to get their breathing under control, their index finger tapping a nervous rhythm against the floor tiles, their aching left hand wrapping around their own body growing in pain with every breath they took. Tears streamed down their face, their eyes and cheeks stinging under drops of salty water.
Seconds passed, but it felt like hours to them, their breathing wasn't right yet, but they still found enough drive to push themself up off the ground, grab the sink and rest all their body weight against it. With difficulty they raised their eyes to the mirror, their brain refusing to believe what they saw there, their eyes looked at the reflection that stared back at them in shock, a sad and disbelieving curve on their lips. And suddenly a sudden and loud sob escaped from within them, and even more, tears followed the previous ones, stinging their wounded skin.
Their face was disfigured, long, terrible, strong scars running from their eyes down their cheeks to their chin. It was strong and very visible, an eternal memory on their skin, haunting them with everything that had happened to them, what they had allowed to happen, and the mistakes they had to live with. And those weren't the only scars...
Their trembling hands clawed at the sleeves of their shirt, pulling them up, revealing the same looking severe scars underneath, it looked as if their skin had been etched by acid, as if a vermin had eaten them from the inside, dissolving their flesh and skin. With fear, they wondered how many and where these scars could be on their body.
'My body was already violated by her before...and now...'
Feeling as if nothing was left of their body but ruined skin and flesh, just a used being with a dramatized brain inside, and a heart that wanted to hope that a better future was ahead of them, but knew inside that they couldn't escape their past ever.
Fingers, calloused from years of playing music, desperately rubbed the tear-trail-shaped wounds on their face, as if hoping they would come off. But no matter how much they scratched, their honey-toned skin didn't come back, instead, the fair, delicate skin on their cheeks turned red and itched even more.
With a heavy sigh they gave up, pushing themself away from the mirror and sink, sinking back to the floor, they backed away from the mirror until their back touched the dirty wall, their legs coming up and pressing against their body as if seeking warmth and comfort, their arms hugging their knees, fingers convulsively pressing into their red pants, which still had tiny green stains on them. Raine's shoulders shook as they tried to hold back their sobs, but it was hard to do as despair and self-pity grew more and more as they thought back to the events that had happened not so long ago.
Only a few months ago they had lived a relatively peaceful life, living on the outskirts of Bonesborough, in a modest house that attracted no attention but provided a safe haven for Raine and their three kids, and yes, even though Raine and their kids had been busy planning a revolution, no one was in great danger and did not have to fight for their lives. However, their lives changed forever when Head Bard Crane decided to retire and present his assistant Raine to the Emperor as the strongest candidate to take over his job as a Coven Head, and while this had been Raine's plan for years, they were not prepared for what the new title brought to them. Suddenly they were drawn into the Coven Head meetings, spending time with the strongest but also the most dangerous witches, their strength constantly being tested by both their colleagues and the Emperor himself, constantly checking to see if they were strong enough to be a Coven Head, strong enough to be a sacrifice in a draining spell. Turned out they were that, and they became a coven head, which turned out to be the biggest mistake of all. Further on there was treachery, controlling, and manipulation. Some battle, imprisonment, some torture for information and finally brainwashing and mind-controlling. Their life was taken over by migraine attacks, memory loss, bittersweet herbal tea, and...her. These were the worst memories, the worst horror they would sell their soul for to forget. Vines, poisonous salads, memory-erasing tea, and roses that followed their every move. The weeks that Raine had to pretend they were in control brought with them the worst nightmares that could paralyze them in the middle of the night, panic attacks so strong they couldn't breathe, an eating disorder that didn't allow them to eat even the tastiest food or the fresh-from-the-oven cookies baked by their kids. It brought with it wounds that will not heal later, fears that will never go away. And now, now they still have to live with the knowledge that no matter how hard they tried, they still failed- Because of them, their palisman who was always there for them is in danger of dying and their home world they tried to protect has been damaged, destroying the homes of so many innocents.
It was pathetic. The way a grown witch in their forties had found their way to the bathroom floor crying, like a child who had fallen and broken up their knees, unable to contain their emotions. Weak, broken, and alone.
"Raine?" someone's soft voice asked from the other side of the door, and Raine wasn't sure at first if they had even heard the voice, but then someone knocked on the door, "Rainestorm?"
This was Eda, their Eda...or at least they wished she was theirs, but they doubted she would. Who would want to be with such a broken witch? Someone with hideous scars? Someone who has been touched and used like a puppet they were?
"Rainstorm? Are you okay in there?" she asked again, the worry and fear for her old friend clearly in her voice.
Raine wanted to lie to her, to say that everything was okay and that they would be out in a minute, but Eda didn't deserve a lie. They shook their head furiously, forgetting that the cursed witch couldn't see it through the door. However, it was also impossible to get a voice out at the moment as their throat seemed to be swollen from crying. One of their fingers made a tiny circle and the door latch opened allowing Eda to enter the bathroom. A moment later the door was slowly pushed open and Eda walked in, her eyes immediately filled with sympathy when they saw the Bard sitting on the ground.
"Oh, Rainestorm,” she sighed with a sad smile, sitting down on the floor next to them, and without a moment's hesitation, wrapped an arm around their shoulders, pulling them close, Raine melting into her arms, their head falling on her shoulder, their tears spilling onto her shirt.
They sat there on the floor for a while, Raine slowly calming down as Eda's hand rubbed their back comfortably, through their clothes, Raine could feel how the skin on their back seemed to be tender and prickly as was the skin on their face and hands, betraying them that there were scars there too. Eda was extremely patient with them, waiting for their tears to stop and for their breathing to acquire an easier rhythm. But the truth was that Eda's whole body was filled with panicked worry about her former lover, but she knew that before she could talk to them and help them, she had to give them time to calm down.
"I'm sorry," Raine finally whispered, lifting their head from her shoulder, "I ruined your shirt,"
"I couldn't care less about that," Eda replied, pulling them a little closer, her eyes carrying so much emotion it made owls and bats fly in Raine's stomach, "There is something that means so much more to me right now. How are you feeling?" Eda replied with a caring look, Raine trying to escape their ex-girlfriend's caring eyes by moving their gaze away from her," You don't have to tell me anything. I'm here for you no matter what,"
This knowledge made Raine feel a little lighter, and after a few minutes, they opened their mouth, their small voice slightly echoing in the quiet bathroom, "It was Bellos...he..." but their voice broke, not letting them finish what they wanted to say.
"I know," Eda replied, "Hunter thought that might have been what happened to you,"
"Did it happen to him too?"
"Yeah," Eda said sadly.
So much anger and hatred was felt in their normally peaceful musician's soul, and they wished they could beat that pile of mud to the ground again and again, maybe make it even slower and more painful.
Eda's soft lips pressed a soft kiss to their hair, and then one to their forehead. It wasn't the first kiss that Eda had placed on their face during today's long day, but it was the first that brought a strong blush to their cheeks. A warm feeling played in their stomach, and they felt a smile creep onto their lips, but guilt also fell upon their soul, a guilt so strong that it forced tears to well up again from beneath their eyelids.
"You can cry," she whispered into their hair, "You are safe here with me, you can cry,"
She did not know how much these words meant to them, and how implausible they seemed to them at the same time. In Emperor's castle, weakness meant death, no one was allowed to know your pain, your hardships, your nightmares, because when those cries for help escaped the walls of your own bedroom, you were seen as a weak witch, which was as good as a death sentence.
Play pretend...
Pretend to obey, or else you will end up in petrified stone with no way back, or worse, in the dungeons of Belos, where no torturer has a heart, and no one can hear your screams. Raine has been there...they know...
How should they tell Eda this?
If you're lucky, you'll die in the dungeons, but if Belos found you of further use, you'll earn a fate far worse than death. Lost in your mind, trapped in your own body, playing an obedient puppet, and your puppet masters both the emperor and the woman who knows no bounds to the violation of rights. Raine knows this personally...
How are they supposed to tell Eda all this?
The two witches sat there on the bathroom floor until Raine was able to put their mask back on, they wiped their eyes clean, washed their face with cold water, and put on a fake smile. Both Eda and Raine knew they were playing a game, that everyone knew they weren't okay, but Raine felt they had to play at least for the moment, they needed to feel like they had this whole situation under control, that they could hold their emotions at bay at least long enough to let their kids know they were okay and to erase the worry in their friends. Without words, however, Eda and Raine made an agreement that they would talk about all of this later, and even though Raine wasn't waiting for it at all, they promised themself that they would. They can't lie to her...not anymore...
"You two will be okay," Eda said hopefully, resting their head lightly against Raine's, "All of us are here for you," she hugged them tighter, pulling them into her arms, one arm or two, Eda still had enough the strength to make them feel safe in her arms, "I'm here for you, always," tears formed in her eyes, and she looked determined and sincere as she said, "I don't want to lose you, Raine, too many times I've lost you, you were stolen from my arms so many times. I won't let anyone hurt you anymore, no one can take you away from me. I love you, Raine,"
"I love you too," Raine replied without any lie, wrapping their arms around her, holding her tightly," But there are things you need to know, I...I'm not okay,"
"I know," she said," You can tell me about it all when you are ready for it,"
---
It was suddenly so late at night. Luz and her mother had brought takeout from the human realm, which Eda and Lilith ate with great appetite, as they said it was the first real food they'd had in months, Darius and the Bats were suspicious but still ate those weird sandwiches the humans called 'Big Macs', while Eber just sniffed them for a second and then ran off into the forest, saying that he didn't trust it and that he was hunting his own food. Raine was the only one who said no to every offer of food, saying that they had no appetite and that they were fine without. And while most of the people in the room were worried about it but didn't know enough to disbelieve them, there were two witches who saw through their mask, and while one of them didn't know the reason, the other was quick to jump into action.
"Hey, wanna take a short walk?” Darius asked, placing a hand on the Bard witch's shoulder.
Raine whined but still agreed, and even though Eda didn't want to let them go, she let go of their hand, which she had held faithfully for a few long hours, and allowed Raine and their old friend to leave the house for a while, leaving a house full of people talking and eating their hamburgers behind.
Darius led them a bit away from the house, knowing that they wouldn't feel comfortable if they knew there was a risk of the kids overhearing them, they had no problem talking to Eda or Darius about their problems, but they believed that the kids shouldn't have to bear their burden, and the less they knew the better. Part of that fear Raine had, was because they were afraid of their reaction, afraid of their opinion. Raine themself wondered all the time how those who knew could still look at them without anger or disgust, and they didn't want to lose their kids...so they kept quiet.
When they were far enough from the house and had reached the edge of the warm boiling sea, Darius sat down on a fallen tree, waiting for Raine to sit next to him, the Bard's gaze fixed on the distant starry sky above the sea.
"How are you holding up?” Darius asked after a few minutes.
"Tired,” Raine answered honestly, “Confused…a little scared,”
"Did you tell her?"
They shook their head, their hands gripping the fabric of their pants a little tighter, "I don't want to ruin everything,"
"What do you mean?” Darius asked, raising an eyebrow.
"She seems so happy, she finally has her family back. You...you heard what she said...when we were the puppets...she hasn't given up on me yet, she...she said that she cares, that she loves me...I can't lose it yet,"
"Raine, she won't leave you, not for anything like that. I was there all these months, I heard every love statement and all her drunken confessions. This woman is as hopelessly in love as you are. She wouldn't leave you,"
"How would you know that?" Raine asked, desperation creeping into their voice, "Would you be okay with someone...that you care about...being so ruined and broken? Would you be able to touch them when you know they've been touched by her, someone who…” they couldn't even finish their own sentence before they felt a familiar painful lump creep back into their throat and they had to stop talking to keep from crying.
"But I'm here,” Darius finally answered, his voice calm, “I may not care for you in the same way that Eda does, but I care for you as a best friend and the closest thing I've ever had to a sibling. And what happened has not changed the respect and attitude I have towards you. Titan, I respect you so much more and I believe you are the strongest person I have ever met. Not everyone can go through things like you have and come out of it alive, stronger than before, still brave enough to fight on." he sighed a little, resting his elbows on his own knees, it had been a long day and they were all tired, but Darius wasn't willing to rest until he was sure his friend would not give up on their life and let their past get to them, they had come such a long way, they deserved a happy ending more than anyone else," Eda doesn't care about that, she knows better than anyone how hard it is to fight inner demons, she would never say you're broken. She would never hurt you like that. You did all this for her, for the rebellion...for her,"
Sometimes, however, explaining the obvious things to their wounded mind was very difficult, and some part of them couldn't believe it, their brain was constantly in a state of struggle, fight or die, who knows where a new danger awaits.
"About the food thing now," Darius said, sensing that they needed a slightly different topic at the moment.
"This thing looked like it would never rot, it reminded me of the chemistry pastries that Alador brought to school for lunch every day. I can't..."
"It's okay, they were kind of weird anyway. But are you sure there isn't anything else you want? I can go and see what I can find,"
Raine shook their head, looking at him for the first time, "I'll be fine. Everyone's tired today, I…I don't think I can eat right now anyway, I...I still have the taste of rot in my mouth,"
"Okay, that's...fine...umm..." he took a moment to think and then offered, "We'll deal with it tomorrow, okay,"
"There are hundreds of more important things," Raine replied dryly, not wanting to be a burden.
"No, there isn't," came the short answer.
And Raine knew better than to argue, they had already learned how stubborn Darius could be, and although he never wanted to show it, he cared a lot, yes the people he cared about were only a few, but still he did his best, and Raine wondered every day what they had done to be on Darius' list of loved ones.
At that moment, Darius still had a bitter feeling inside him, which made him very worried, he knew that if he didn't say anything, didn't bring Raine food that they could eat or didn't give Eda a full list, Raine wouldn't tell anyone, for fear of being a burden to them. He hoped that one day Raine would realize that they were not a burden to anyone.
"Thank you, Darius,” Raine's voice suddenly came out after the silence, much to Darius's surprise.
He smiled, "You don't have to thank me,"
---
When they got back to the house, King and Luz were sleeping in the nest that Eda had built there before, Camilla was gone, probably gone back to the Human realm, Lilith and Hoody were on the floor, Hoody was comfortably wrapped around the witch and Lilith was sleeping using her bird tube friend as a pillow, Katya, Amber and Derwin were all barely awake, they were sitting by the wall, leaning against the wall, Amber's head resting on the older girl's shoulder, Katya trying to keep herself awake by writing something in her notebook and Derwin was humming music to keep his brain busy so he wouldn't fall asleep, Eberwolf was also near them cleaning his fur from the twigs his short forest adventure had colected, Hunter and Eda were standing in the middle of the room discussing something, but as soon as the door opened, the cursed witch didn't even waste more than a second to rush to Raine, her first reaction was to grab their hand or pull them into an hug but she stopped herself at the last moment when she noticed them flinching slightly at her sudden movement.
"Hey, you two good? You were gone quite a while,” she asked, worried but happy eyes locked on the bard witch.
Raine just nodded, taking her hand.
"Are we going to go home now?" Amber asked lifting her head from Katya's shoulder, her eyes half closed as if she was already half asleep.
"Ugh, Latissa is so far away," Katya whined as she slowly started to push herself off the ground.
Suddenly Eda felt a panic because if the Batts leave there is a high probability that Raine will also leave. And the thought that they would step out of that house again without her scared her.
"No one has to go anywhere," the Owl Lady said placing her hand on her hip, "There's enough room for everyone in this house,"
"Umm, you don't have any furniture," Derwin said, pointing to a room where the closest thing to furniture was a nest of twigs.
"There should be blankets and stuff in the attic, I don't think the Scouts were smart enough to find the attic door, and Blondy here just helped me figure out how to get all my stuff back. We can haul my furniture back tomorrow and no one has to go anywhere,” she hoped that would convince them.
The trio seemed to be thinking for a moment, Katya seemed to be considering it, while Derwin didn't seem to like the idea very much and Amber just wanted to sleep regardless of whether it was on the floor or anywhere else. As Eda looked at Raine, they looked like they didn't want to leave, their hands squeezing Eda's a little tighter, their eyes on their kids, waiting for their decision.
"We can stay," Katya finally said, yawning.
"Wonderful," Eda answered a little too enthusiastically, "I'll go see what I have in the attic, I'll be right back," she seemed to say the last part only to Raine, she turned around and rushed up the stairs, hoping that the attic wasn't emptied of all things.
When she came back downstairs about fifteen minutes later, carrying as many blankets and old couch pillows as she could carry, the living room was quieter than before, with Darius, Hunter, and Eber gone, and Amber asleep on top of Katya and Derwin. Raine was sitting next to their kids, but they got up again when they saw Eda, going to her aid, taking a few pillows from her hand.
"Where did goo-boy, Blondy, and Eber go?" she asked throwing the blankets on the floor.
"They thought they'd rather go back to headquarters, but they'll come here again tomorrow, Darius...he wants to have a talk with you," Raine replied, kneeling on the floor to start making a place for their kids to sleep out of blankets and pillows.
Eda sat down next to them, helping them, "Why does he want to talk to me?"
"Umm, just some...stuff,"
She didn't question further, thinking that if the goo-boy wants she can talk with him but not before she was had a good night's sleep, she's got back at least enough of her furniture that she has a better sleeping place for all the kids and the dining table and chairs would also be much appreciated, and of course not before she's convinced that Raine has been able to rest.
Once they had finished making something that looked like a bed and was big enough that the three Batts should fit nicely in, Raine went to help Katya and Derwin out of under the sleeping Amber, but as they tried to pick up their daughter, a sharp pain shot through their left arm again, and they had to bite their lip to keep from making a sound, despite their pain, they picked the girl up in their arms and carried her to the bed, the two older teenagers following them, falling tiredly onto the pillows as soon as they got to it. As the tree had laid down, Raine covered them with two blankets as best they could before they stood up, turning to look at Eda, who was covering Luz and King with a blanket.
The two locked their eyes for a moment before Eda stood up and walked over to Raine, wrapping her arm around their waist, the tired Bard resting their own weight against her. She hummed happily as they rested their head on her shoulder, and she was able to pull them a little closer.
"Do you want to stay here with the kids or...do you want to come up with me? I have a very big and comfortable nest there."
A small smile entered their lips, "Hmm, the Owl Lady wants to steal me into her nest? Should I be worried?"
"The biggest danger you're in is my snoring,"
They laughed a little which made Eda smile. She offered them her hand, which they accepted. But before Eda led them upstairs she grabbed the rest of the blankets and the last remaining pillow, she herself didn't usually use blankets or pillows in her nest but she wanted Raine to be comfortable. They arrived upstairs, Eda opening the door for Raine, allowing them to enter first, and as soon as they entered the room, a strong sense of emotions and memories lost to history immediately came back to them. This room was like it was when they once lived here, there were no more instruments on the walls, no furniture, it was dark and there were no flowers on the windowsill, and of course, instead of their bed where they spent so many lazy mornings and nights full of passion, was a big bird nest.
"Doesn't it feel good to be back home?” Eda asked, walking behind them.
Home...
"This place has changed a lot, but at the same time it's exactly the same as I remember," they replied, taking a moment to look around the room while Eda lined her nest with blankets, "You didn't change much, did you?"
"Not really, I didn't paint the walls or anything, even though I wasn't a fan of the color you chose. I mostly just changed the furniture over time and added a little bit of one thing or another. I don't know if you noticed, but the living room ceiling still has that owl you painted there, and your old music room still has ink stains on the floor," she smoothed the blankets, searching for perfection before she turned to the other witch, giving them an inviting smile, "Are you ready for bed or are you feeling too sentimental for that?"
They smiled back at her as they walked over to the colored glass window to look out and touch the cold glass with their fingertips, memories of spending hours outside gluing pieces of colored glass together to get that perfect look came back to their mind. This house held so much of the past for them, could there be a future for them as well?
"You know, you can move back in if you want," Eda said, as if she had read their mind," You can take your triplets with you, we can fix the tower for them or look over our spare rooms," she walked over to them, wrapping her arm around their shoulders, and Raine wondered how much she had changed, in their past, it had always been Raine who was the clingy one.
"You want me back here?"
"Of course, it's your house too, we built it together," she said, before adding, "But if you don't want it, or aren't ready, I understand. We...we haven't even talked about what we are yet.” she seemed to be slowly getting nervous, her gaze darting around the room instead of looking at them.
Raine struggled to find the words to answer, of course, they wanted to come back home, this place had been their closest home, even closer than the cottage they bought after they broke up with Eda and when they couldn't anymore stand living in their mother's house that was overrun with feral cats. Yes, they had lived in that cottage for years and raised Amber there too but still, that cottage didn't become as close to their heart as the Owl House was to them, and even though they had kept their cottage tidy, they hadn't thought of moving back there after they moved into the Batts bunker and later the Catts HQ, this cottage was for their children after they were ready to fly out of the nest. And besides, they didn't know what the condition of their cottage was like now, it was a year ago when they were last there, almost six years ago when they last lived there, besides it was small, would they fit in there with three teenagers who each want their own space? Besides they needed to worry about their kids and what would be best for them. There was also an excruciatingly heavy voice in their head that kept telling them that Eda would immediately withdraw her offer if she knew the past Raine carried on their shoulders. Why would Eda want to deal with these issues?
And Eda also had her own kids. What if they don't like Raine? Would Luz and King even want Raine and three other bards, who were all strangers to them, under their roof?
"Rainestorm?" her voice penetrated their thoughts, and they looked at her with a slight startle, the softness and love they heard in her voice and saw in her eyes scared them a little," You don't have to do anything, we can move slowly if you...you even want us to be a thing again. No is a complete sentence and you can tell me that without having to explain yourself,"
"No, I..." they broke off their sentence, and added a little later with a sigh, "I want it, there's nothing more I'd like, I just...there are things I need to tell you first, things that might change your...opinion about me,”
Those words surprised the cursed witch, she couldn't imagine anything that would make her think less of them, "You can tell me anything," she said placing her hand on their cheek, "And I don't think you can change my opinion of you,"
"You would be surprised,” they said looking away, taking her hand that rested on their cheek into their own and pulling her with them towards the nest so they could sit down in it.
Eda had no idea what to expect, but in that tormented look on Raine's face she saw so much of what she was too afraid to understand, that sad look mourned something, something they could have possibly changed but can't anymore, something they were too late for. She sat next to them, holding their hand, her thumb moving in circles on their hand reminding them that she was there for them, she noticed that their hand was shaking. This situation felt familiar to her, a few months ago, the two of them were sitting on the balcony of Catts headquarters, talking and crying in each other's arms, that night Raine had mentioned something about the things that had happened to them in the castle. Was that what they wanted to talk about now?
Raine took a deep breath, their slightly scared, green eyes that were slightly wet with new tears were fixed on their joined hands, their eyes locked on this sight as if their intertwined fingers were a work of art, the kind of art that brought sadness to the viewer, because that was what Raine felt when they looked at their hands, in their head they counted the seconds of how much longer they will have her.
They decided to start from the beginning and see how far they can go before they lose Eda for good," After I was captured, Darius was surprised to see that the traitor was me, he...he didn't expect it to be another coven head. He was a little mad about our little murder plan and wanted to scare me a little or something, he didn't hurt me, just wanted to scare me a little for revenge, but I ran away before he could tell me we were on the same side,"
"You escaped?"
Raine nodded," It wasn't for long though as Kikimora came over with her robot, and since Darius had been an asshole and broke my violin there wasn't much I could do when she suddenly jumped out. She...she used my coven sigil against me," they could have sworn that red mark on their wrist started to hurt as soon as they thought about it," The sigil pressed my own magic against me, rendering me powerless, she imprisoned me into red vines, that were made of my own magic. I was trapped there for I don't know how long, nothing could be heard, nothing could be seen, nothing could be felt but there I was, wide awake. It must have been a few days before they let me out and...I woke up in a prison cell," Raine felt the grip of Eda's fingers on their hand tighten and when they looked at her face they saw a look that was a mixture of fear, shock, anger, and sympathy for them, she listened to their every word blaming herself more and more that she had not stayed and fought beside them that day, "There I was for a couple of days, maybe a week,"
However, Eda could see in their eyes that there was something they were not saying, "What happened in that dungeon?"
The Bard sighed again, feeling their heart start to beat faster, they let go of her hand, their fingers slowly began to work their way up their shirt to show a tiny burn scar on their side," I don't have many scars from it, Hettie healed most of them, I don't even remember much, I was unconscious most of the time. I do remember that Kikimora was there, she was trying to get information from me about my fellow rebels, and when I didn't give it to her she lost her temper,"
"Oh, Raine," she took their hand again, her eyes bleeding with so much emotion that it was hard for Raine to read every emotion in there," This little rat will pay for what she did to you, I'm so sorry it happens to you, Raine, and if you need..."
"There is more,” they interrupted, making Eda go silent in shock.
"Th-there is more?” she asked as if she couldn't and wouldn't believe it.
Raine nodded again, taking a moment to catch their breath before answering, "One day I woke up in the hospital room of the castle, with a terrible headache, covered in so many different scars that even Hettie couldn't believe it. I didn't remember anything, the last memory I had was running away from my coven head ceremony, and…the memories I had of that day were different. Te-ter…" they had a hard time getting that name out," Terra was there, in the hospital, and she told me how I had been kidnapped by wild witches, and they were the ones who had tried to torture and kill me, but Belos saved me at the last moment. I...I believed her, I believed everything Terra or anyone else told me. They used poison on me, a tea that erased my memories and made me believe and do whatever they told me. This tea gave me severe headaches, like those headaches where you can't get out of bed, and you feel like there's a battle going on in your brain. Every time I tried to remember or think about things that had happened to me, the pain got worse. It wasn't the worst thing, though," Eda raised an eyebrow in fear, afraid to hear the words Raine was about to say," You remember how we laughed as children that Terra was creepy and that she seemed to have some strange interest in me," she nodded, horror already swimming in her eyes," It turned out that it was true. She...she was in control of me," those words were the last push Raine's tears needed, and they began to flow endlessly down their cheeks," She was always there, always close, her arms, her vines...she talked about how I was her little sprout, how I needed her to survive in this world. She took advantage of the fact that I was drugged up and couldn't say no. She...she tried, she tried so hard, but luckily Darius, Eber, and Steve kept an eye on me and tried to get her away from me, but she still had opportunities to kiss me, corner me, or just humiliate me. And since I was drugged up, I couldn't do anything, even when I tried to fight back, she forced more poison into me. After a while, however, I realized that I was being poisoned, and I began to influence this tea with my old whistling trick, I got my memories and my mind back, and Darius and Eber finally came out to me. There were a couple of incidents where Terra tried to poison me with food, she force-fed me poisonous salads from her greenhouse, these...these salads were meant to temporarily take away my body's ability to move...luckily I was always able to escape and throw up before anything happened. Things were fine for a while, things were under control...until the coven day parade," they closed their eyes, forcing their head down, they couldn't look at Eda anymore, couldn't see the disgust on her face," After the parade, I was out of my mind and distracted, and she took advantage of that to corner me suddenly, everyone else was out of the castle too and...she took me to her own greenhouse..." a loud sob suddenly broke from their throat, their body began to shake violently, for all these months they had refused to think about that day, that greenhouse, "I tried to escape, but she injected me with that same thing that made me obey her every word, I...I couldn't resist, and she...she..." they were now a big crying mess, unable to breathe or get the words out without breaking them.
They couldn't even feel Eda pulling them into a tight hug, couldn't even notice her presence beside them anymore, her hand rubbing their back and what was left of her right hand resting behind their neck, pulling their head to rest on her shoulder. She couldn't believe it, she would never have believed that this was the shadow that Raine was forced to carry with them. Her Rainestorm, the love of her life, experiencing horrors and pain that no one deserves. It all filled her with so much anger, she wanted to go and slash Terra's throat with her own harpy claws, let her bleed out slowly and painfully, and then throw her in the garbage to rot. But right now, she had to suppress that anger and be there for her Rainestorm.
Her own air was trapped in her lungs, tears welling up in her eyes, and all she could do was hold them so tightly in her arms, her hand holding them against her, clinging to them as if it hurt her to be even a little further away from them. Her mind only repeated everything Raine had said.
Imprisonment, torture, brainwashing, manipulation, controlling, abuse, poisoning, force-feeding, harassment, rape...
Her Rainestorm.
"She didn't stop…I…I couldn't stop her,” they sobbed into her shoulder, their own hands gripping Eda's shirt so tightly it was in danger of tearing.
Eda couldn't say a word, but buried her face in their hair, crying loudly with them, holding them as if she was trying to protect them with her own body.
"I couldn't…”
Neither knew how long they were there, holding each other. At one point, Raine's throat was so sore from crying, eyes stinging from the contact of cold air and salty tears, their nose blocked, preventing them from breathing, their lack of air finally forced them to remove their face from Eda's chest and pull away a little, their arms still tightly around her. They took deep breaths trying to calm themself, Eda's hand letting go of them only to hold their cheek a second later, trying to wipe away as many tears as she could. The two pairs of eyes met again, both equally drowned in tears.
Raine's heart suddenly beat hard.
Eda is still here...
She leaned her face forward, placing a long but sweet kiss on their forehead, her hand sliding back down, this time wrapping around their back.
There were so many things she wanted to say, she wanted to promise them that she would protect them and not let anyone hurt them again, but she hoped they already knew that. She wanted to swear to them that she will kill this bitch as well as any other monster that ever so much as scratched their honey-colored skin.
Instead, she asked, "How many times?"
"Only this once," they said, their voice small, their throat sore from dryness, "Darius and Eber were always there after that, they...they never left me alone in the castle again,"
Eda didn't know whether to thank the two or murder them since they hadn't gotten Raine out of the castle before all of this even happened, but she knew she couldn't hold a grudge against them because Raine was a stubborn witch who couldn't be taken out of battle that easily, Eda knew that, she tried to do it on the parade.
"We are going to be okay," she said to them, kissing their hair and forehead," I'm here for you, love,"
"You want a broken witch like me?"
"I see no broken witch, I see and I want the strongest witch ever lived and there is nobody stronger than you, my Storm," she raised their gaze and looked deep into their eyes," You're not broken, Raine, just hurt, and I'm here to help you heal. Whatever you need, I'm here, every step of the way. We are going to heal together. I love you so much, Rainestorm,"
"I love you too, Eda,"
That night, neither of them slept much, but they were still calm and safe, cuddling in a big nest, between pillows and blankets. They didn't talk much, both too tired to do so, but still, they got a lot of comfort from each other's presence. They both knew they had a long road to healing ahead of them, and no it wasn't only Raine's journey but both of theirs, they were in it together every step of the way.