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“There’s something I have to tell you.”
Leo looked away from the closed door, towards his brother Mikey. Mikey, who always had been there for him. Mikey, who always had supported and cared for him. Mikey, who would kill himself if Leo asked.
Leo gulped, “Yeah?”
His brother—face worn and hair gray from the years of stress and magic—slumped his shoulders, and looked down, averting his eyes, “I should’ve told you this a long time ago. I should’ve told Donnie too.”
Leo frowned at his little brother, and offered his hand, “Mikey?”
Mikey gave him a sad smile, and pushed away his hand, stepping back as he did so. “We both know at least one of us is going to die today.”
Leo froze.
Mikey continued.
“If our original plan works, it’ll be you. If we have to go with Plan B, it’ll be me. Either way, one of us die today, Leo.”
Leo stared at him. “I know,” he stated. Then he furrowed his brows, “Mikey, what the hell are you talking about? If this is you trying to talk me out of it, you should know it isn’t going—“ “To work, I know.” Mikey looked at him, tears pooling in his eyes, “That’s what I hate.”
Leo’s gaze softened as Mikey gently inhaled, wiping his tears away as much as he could.
“If I had know things were going to end up like this, I would’ve told you a long time ago. Before Donnie died. Before Raph died. Then maybe…” He faltered, his gaze distant and wet, “Maybe we could’ve had a chance.”
Leo stepped forward. “…Mikey?”
Mikey shakily breathed, and met Leo’s eyes, his demeanor completely changed, absolutely beaming.
“I love you.”
Leo gasped, and his eyes widened.
“I have loved you for such a long, ridiculous amount of time. So many times I thought it would go away. When you and Don told us about your relationship. When me and Raph entered a relationship. When they died. But it hasn’t. Not a single bit.”
“But.” Leo stared at him, “You and Raph were—were in a relationship, me and Donnie were—“ “In a relationship, yes, God I’m so aware.” Mikey chuckled, humorlessly, heartbroken, “ We were so aware. Me and Raph. God, you two—you were beautiful together.”
Leo looked at him like he grew two heads. “What do you mean…”
Mikey sighed, looking down again, “God, if I knew this was all going to happen, I would’ve told you sooner. I would’ve convinced Raph and…” He lifted his head again, “Me and Raph. We loved each other of course. You know that. But we also loved you two.”
“M-me?! But Donnie—“ “You two, Leo, you and Donnie.”
Leo’s heart stopped. “What?“
Mikey merely smiled heartbroken at him again. “Let me explain. When the invasion happened and the war was beginning, it lead me to realize I loved all of you guys. So much. After Dad died you became the world to me. Nothing mattered as long as you three were as happy and safe as you could be. You were my brothers, after all, my other parts of my soul, my beloveds. You three, and only you three, were everything to me.
“And I didn’t know it, but Raph felt that way too.” At that Mikey huffed our a wet chuckle, almost a sob, “God, Raph. We were everything to him too. Fuck, I miss him.”
A few tears slipped pass his eyes, and as Mikey wiped them away Leo started to catch on, the realization dawning on him with a special kind of horror.
“But you two…” Mikey averted his eyes, “You didn’t feel that way. When you told us about your relationship, that became explicitly clear. You loved each other, and only each other. There wasn’t any room in your hearts for me and Raph.”
He looked at him, smiling, crying, radiant and pained, “And we were fine with that. Because you made each other happy, and we were all for your happiness. If you two being together and being happy meant that we couldn’t tell you how we felt and had to watch you love each other, and only each other for so many years, then of course we gladly did so. Besides, it wasn’t so bad. Because of your confession me and Raph both got scared of losing each other, so we managed to tell each other how we felt. And we were able to comfort each other. It…” His voice cracked, “It wasn’t as painful when we had each other…”
Leo froze with a special kind of cold shock. Oh God, Raph’s death. They all knew Mikey was having the hardest time because he loved him, but if he was the only thing making it tolerable for Mikey, being so painfully in love…
Oh no.
Mikey must’ve been hurting. And in so much pain. For so many years. Because of them.
He stared at Mikey.
“Mikey.”
Mikey blinked, snapping out of his fog and wiping his eyes again, not meeting Leo’s gaze. “It’s okay, it’s fine, I— I’m fine, I swear I am. I mean, you guys were happy and we had to take care of Jr. and we were always busy with things. I did the best I could to distract myself.”
Then he gulped, once again wiping tears away, “And then Donnie died, and then you were sad. And-and what was I suppose to do? I-I—“ His voice cracked again, and he look at Leo, tears streaming down his voice, “ Fuck I loved Donnie and I missed him so much but you didn’t have anyone and someone needed to make sure you were okay because I didn’t know what I would do if the only love of my life that was alive wasn’t okay!”
The last word seemed to echo throughout the room, as Mikey had tears streaming down his eyes and was staring at Leo, while Leo stared back, frozen and horrified at all this new information and how he didn’t know what to do with it.
Mikey then lowered his entire stance, looking so tired and exhausted. “God, I’m sorry Leo. I tried my best. I tried to take care of you like Donnie would. I’m sorry. Fuck, I’m so sorry.”
And he sobbed, and raised a hand to cover his face as he cried, tears hitting the ground.
Leo stared at him.
He loved him. And Donnie. And-and Raph had loved them too!
And…and he and Donnie had been stuck in their own little world, too in love and ignorant to notice the sadness they were causing, the path of loneliness they wrecked.
If they had known, they could’ve— he could’ve helped him, his little brother, like how he had been helping him for years.
Leo always knew Mikey was loyal.
He just didn’t realize to what extant until now.
“Mikey…I…” He stepped forward, voice breaking, “I am so sorry—“
“Don’t, just don’t.” Mikey said through shaking breath, raising a hand to him, “I don’t need an apology, I’m—I’m not asking for one!”
He raised his head, eyes still wet, “Me and Raph knew perfectly well what we were getting into when we promised each other we wouldn’t tell you and not intrude on your relationship. We both knew how much it would hurt us, how much it would bite us in the asses later, and we didn’t care.”
“Why?!”
“Because you were happy!” Mikey exclaimed, “Because you and Donnie were actually somewhat happy in this war when you were with each other and you two were the world to us, Leo!” He exhaled, and stood up straight, meeting his gaze, “You were Donnie’s and only Donnie’s, and Donnie was yours and only yours. We knew that. We accepted that. But damnit we wanted you to be ours! And that meant something, to us at least. We couldn’t have our other half hurt, and if that meant we couldn’t say a thing, we wouldn’t. And we didn’t.” He closed his eyes, sighed, and opened them, “Until now.”
Leo stared at him, “Why would you tell me this, now of all days? You said it yourself, one of us is going to die, and it’ll probably be me—“
“BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, DAMN YOU LEO!” Mikey yelled, and Leo’s eyes widened at his little brother before he was pulled into a hug. “And that means something. It means I can’t get you hurt. But for the love of God, ever since Donnie died you’ve been on that self-sacrificing bullshit and now you’re convinced that in order for this war to end you gotta die!” He pulled away, “And I can’t let that happen.”
He exhaled, and stood tall, “So if I gotta give myself up so Junior can go and prevent this whole thing, I’ll do it. For you.”
“I can’t ask you to do that.” “You don’t have to.”
Mikey stepped forward, and without asking Leo grabbed his hands. The box turtle sighed, and wearily smiled at him, “You and Donnie and Raph are the world to me, Leo. And two of them are already dead. From the way I see it, we’re going to have no chance to win today. You and I both know that. We’re going to fail, and I’m going to have to open that portal for Junior.”
“No.” Leo grabbed his arm, “You can’t do that, I won’t let you die for me!”
Mikey removed the hand off of him, “It isn’t just for you, Leo. It’s for everyone we’ve lost. Everyone who’s died to the Krang. They deserve this second chance.”
He sighed, and slumped forward, putting their foreheads together, “But I suppose it is mostly for you. And our brothers. Because I love you. And I love Donnie. And I love Raph.”
Leo squeezed his hand. Mikey squeezed it back. “If I knew things were going to end this way, than God, I would’ve broke my promise and told you two a long time ago. Then maybe…maybe you could’ve grown to feel the same way. Maybe we could’ve been something.”
“How do you know I don’t feel the same way?”
Mikey met his eyes, his own full of heartbreak and headache and a pained, hurting wisdom Leo wished he didn’t have, “Because you don’t. This is the first time these feelings have become abundantly clear to you. And I know whatever ‘newfound affection’ you’re gonna say you have is just you trying to make me feel better. But it’s okay Leo. You don’t have to lie to me. You loved Donnie, and only Donnie. I know that. Raph knew that.”
He pulled back, wiping his eyes before they could grow new tears again, “I told you, we accepted that. You don’t have to pretend for me.”
Leo’s shoulders slumped with a big sigh, “I’m sorry.”
“I know. It’s okay. I’m just…” He looked at him, “I’m just glad I finally told you. I mean, we’re gonna die anyways. At least now I don’t have to pretend anymore.”
“Shit.” Leo pulled him in a hug, “I’m so sorry. Fuck, Mikey. You’ve been hurting for years and neither of us noticed how can I even call myself—“ “Leo, for the final time,” Mikey said, almost painfully harsh, “It’s okay. Now drop it. Pull yourself together. We have a meeting soon, remember?”
“I-I—“ Mikey pulled away, and stared into his eyes, gripping his shoulders tightly, “Get ahold of yourself, Leonardo. You’re the leader of the Resistance. Act like it. You don’t have time to blame yourself for things that weren’t your fault. Me and Raph knew, okay? We knew, and we were fine. I’m fine.”
He let go, and pushed him towards the door, “Now go to your room and get yourself together, okay?” “But-but Mikey—“
“If you need me—“ Mikey didn’t meet his eyes— “I’ll be at our brothers’ shrine. But I’d appreciate not being interrupted.” He sighed, and stepped back, resigning himself to his fate, “I’ll see you at the meeting.”
Leo’s eyes widened, and he stepped forward, “But Mikey—“
But Mikey was already gone, disappearing in a flash of orange, leaving Leo alone.