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It all happens in a blur; one minute, Jackie's standing on the scaffold a few meters below them – the next, an explosion on their level rocks the structure, dismantles it, and, with a single cry of her name from Nat's mouth, and a panicked shout from her own, Jackie's plummeting to the ground.
Shauna's reaction is instant as she leaps from the building towards her with an extended arm to try and catch her girlfriend, and Lottie sees it, the panic in her eyes, knows it well, felt it herself when she watched Laura Lee fall in that accursed clock tower with broken gears collapsing around her, saw her close her eyes and accept her death because Lottie couldn’t save her, couldn’t protect her – and even then, even though Laura Lee saw it coming, Lottie not once saw blame in her eyes, or resentment, or anything other than love, and fear, and resignation as she looked at Lottie one last time, couldn’t even see her face because Lottie had her mask on-
Shauna’s hand is nearly touching Jackie’s, and, for a second, it looks like she’s gonna be able to do for her girlfriend what Lottie wasn’t able to do for hers, when the Goblin slams into her, tackles her out of the way, away from Jackie, and Jackie turns her head to look at Shauna with that same fear and resignation and realization in her big doe eyes, and Lottie sees Laura Lee, and she sees Nat, and she moves on instinct.
She jumps down, off the building, barely notices the anguished “no!” that crawls out of her mouth, the crucifix around her neck, under her suit, suddenly weighing so much more than it actually does, as if pulling her down, urging her to fall faster and catch her friend the way she didn't catch Laura Lee, and, a milisecond later, she’s wrapped around Jackie, clutching her against herself, turns them around so she can web the wall above them. Before she even properly realizes what’s happened, her feet are safely touching the ground, Jackie in her arms, bridal-style, clinging to Lottie like she’s gonna die if she doesn’t – which, in a way, she supposes, was true until a second ago.
She’s panting, shaking, as she holds Jackie close to her, the girl in her arms in no better state as she stares at Lottie’s face with those wide, wide eyes, in disbelief, hair disheveled from the fall.
It takes a moment for Lottie to find her voice.
“Are-“ she chokes, stutters, Laura Lee's cold, pale face and limp body flashing into her mind when she looks at Jackie, warm, flushed, alive. “Are you okay?”
She doesn’t think she’s heard her voice tremble that much ever since-
Since.
Jackie blinks, mouth slightly agape, nods absentmindedly.
“Yeah,” she breathes, “I’m okay.”
Lottie honestly thinks she’s gonna cry.
She nods in affirmation at Jackie, biting back tears, feels her breathing get even faster, uneven, feels her eyes begin to flood.
She wishes she could crack a smug, joking remark to try and lighten the mood, but the only thing that’s in her mind, on repeat, deafening everything else, every other thought, every semblance of coherence, is ‘thank god, thank god, thank god-‘
“Are you okay?” Jackie’s shaky voice asks a couple of seconds later, concern etched in her pretty features under the shock, and Lottie nods again.
“I’m okay,” she tries to sound as calm as she can, but her voice breaks on the last word, and the first sob claws its way out of her chest, her throat, and, before she knows it, she’s bawling with Jackie Taylor in her arms and the world ending around her, and her mind is a flurry of ‘I’m so sorry, Laura Lee, I’m so sorry-‘
“Lottie,” Jackie’s voice is soft, kind, despite how much it’s shaking, and it makes Lottie sob harder at seeing her friend’s worried reaction to witnessing her breaking down completely over something that happened in the past and didn’t happen this time, even though she’d been the one falling to her death less than a minute ago.
The sound of something being violently thrown onto the asphalt behind them makes them hold on tighter to each other, Lottie shielding Jackie as much as she can with her own body as the other girl lets out a startled yelp and fists her hands as best she can in Lottie’s suit. Lottie turns her head to see the Goblin's unmoving form lying in the crater left by it, several feet away, and Shauna lands closer to them as the symbiote crawls away from her head, revealing an enraged, hateful expression unlike any other Lottie has ever seen her wear before; the way she used to look at Jeff during the brief period of time Jackie dated him in pales in comparison to the way she’s staring at the Goblin, teeth bared in a snarl, and Lottie thinks the girl is seriously considering literally ripping him to pieces.
“Shauna!” Jackie cries, untangling herself from Lottie’s arms, and Shauna’s face instantly softens when she turns to look at her, relief flooding her eyes and a shaky breath leaving her lungs as she begins to sprint towards them.
“Jackie,” she sighs, meeting her girlfriend halfway, colliding with her with such force Lottie briefly worries she’s gonna knock Jackie over, but the other girl reciprocates the embrace with just as much enthusiasm, both of them practically becoming one person, fingers desperately digging into each other’s backs with a promise of never letting go again. “Jackie- fuck, I thought-“
“I’m okay,” Jackie pulls back slightly, and there are tears in Shauna’s eyes. “I’m fine, Shauna. Lottie caught me,” she smiles, light-hearted, but still wobbly.
Shauna’s dark eyes meet Lottie’s over Jackie’s shoulder, and there’s so, so much gratitude in them, ‘thank you, thank you so fucking much,’ being clearly said without her uttering a single word. Lottie shoots back a meek, sheepish smile, and Shauna closes her eyes, tucks her face into Jackie’s shoulder.
Lottie wishes she could hear ‘I’m okay’ coming from Laura Lee’s mouth, wishes she had heard it back then, but she never will, not again.
But Jackie’s saying it, she’s breathing it over and over as she clutches onto the girl she loves, and, if it weren’t for Lottie, she might not have been saying it at all, just another still, cold, limp form on the ground, one whose hair flashes blonde for a second, not at the base of a semi-burning building, but at the bottom of the inside of a clock tower, surrounded by fallen gears.
She’s breathing, and she’s smiling, and she’s kissing Shauna like she’ll never be allowed to again.
For a moment, Lottie doesn’t feel so guilty anymore.