Archive of Our Own

[NORA MA-07 GARUDA INTERNAL LOG – MANUAL ENTRY XXX

AUTHOR: ID_ERROR

SUBJECT: Read Me

BEGIN CONTENT:

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Hi, Leibniz. Or are you Jao?

(“You” could technically be anyone, but this is for the crew of NORA MA-07 GARUDA. If you somehow aren’t them, can you find them and send these files their way? Thanks in advance.)

I’ll go ahead and assume you’ll be the one to find this, Leibniz. If anyone would, it’d be you.

Anyways…

Hey, Lei. It’s me, Lucia.

Please keep reading. I know how skeptical you can get, but I promise this is the real deal. How about some proof?

As long as I’ve known you, you’ve always liked to argue. Whether you were bickering for fun or not, you always had something to say about something. It could get tiring sometimes, but it was fun, too.

Back before things started getting bad, we once got in a pretty heated debate about the naming of the weapon you were given by 07. It wasn’t really that big of a deal and we both knew it, but anybody else who would’ve heard it might’ve thought otherwise. I called it a Key Rifle, as is the proper name for the weapon that acts as a key to the MA it’s paired with, and you said that “If you’re calling this thing a ‘rifle’, then you’re as blind as the dirt you stand on.”

I know 07’s creators got a little unorthodox, but I’m still in Camp “Call it By its Name.”

How’s that? Is that enough for you? Oh, who am I kidding – you probably just dismissed it as a fluke or a joke or whatever. I really hope you’re still reading anyways. You’re too stubborn to just stop now.

Before you go any further, I just wanted to say something.

Lei…

I’m sorry.

I never wanted to leave you, or Jao, or 07. I never wanted to…to hurt you like this. I just wanted to make sure you were safe. All I wanted was for you to live, no matter what. I know it’s selfish of me, and cruel to you, and unfair to everyone else who was clinging onto their own lives, but I couldn’t let you go out there and die. I just couldn’t, okay?

I know it was a big risk, and I know there was a good chance I wasn’t going to come back, but… I needed to try. I needed to try and keep you as far away from that monster as possible. The mere thought of you going in my place was (and still is) too much for me to bear.

I don’t know if you could ever forgive me, but please, if nothing else, please try to understand. If I had another choice, another way out, I never would have left you. There’s nothing I want more than to be with you again. Because, well, Lei…

I love you.

Past, present, future – it doesn’t matter, I love you all the same.

You do know that, right? It’s probably been a while since you’ve heard me say it to you. Maybe since you’ve heard anyone say it to you…

I did love you, I do love you, and I will continue to love you. I don’t know if I’ll ever get the chance to hold you, to touch you, to even just actually exist by you anymore, but my mind, heart, and soul are set regardless.

Oh, also, now that I’m on the topic…

I’m proud of you.

I know you probably don’t feel that way, but I am so proud of you. I’m not trying to patronize you or anything - I mean it. I’ve been watching you ever since I figured out I could. I’m not going to lie and say it was fun or easy - not at all. I couldn’t help you, no matter how hard I tried; I had to sit there, agonizingly helpless, as the one I love shattered before my eyes. I couldn’t reach out my hands and help you put the pieces back together, but you did it anyways. Maybe it was slow, and maybe it wasn’t perfect, and maybe it was painful, and maybe there were some pieces that were just gone and never returned, but you did it.

You’re amazing, Lei. 07 couldn’t have picked a better pilot, or a better person for that matter.

You’ve never thought all that highly of yourself (and if I get another chance to be…me again, we will be working on that), but it’s true. Hide it all you want, but I know the truth.

But don’t worry – your secrets are safe with me. I’ll treasure them, just like I treasure you.

…Okay, that’s a bit corny, but my point stands!

Alright, back to business. You see those other entries before (and maybe after) this one? Read them as much as you like: they’re (mostly) for you, after all. If you have Jao with you, he has my permission to read all of them, too. There are even a couple specifically for him somewhere in there. There’s a chance he already saw them, but that’s okay. He’s Jao, and Jao can do anything.

Speaking of Jao: I’ve got a little bit to say to him directly, so can you let him know once I’m done with you? …Not like I want to be done with you, but it’s only for now.

Let’s see… Anything else I forgot to mention? Oh, right!

You’ve done a really good job at maintaining 07, even despite all the problems you’ve run into. And don’t try to argue that Jao did most of the work; he may have the knowhow and the experience and all that, but you were the one getting it done (or at least a whole lot of it), even when you didn’t really know what you were doing. And hey, would you look at that – yet another reason to be proud of you!

Alright, I think that’s about it for now.

Oh, just one more thing:



I love you.



-– Lucia

Hi, Jao. You’ve probably read the above already, so I won’t trouble you too much by repeating everything verbatim but directing it to you instead. Just know that all applies to you, too.

You’ve always been incredible, but you’ve only proven yourself even further as time goes on. As soon as I was introduced to you, I knew you were going to be good, but…wow. Even with such a heavy burden of responsibility, you’ve managed to handle it with the kind of elegance and maturity that makes me wish I had even half the grace you so effortlessly wield. I guess it’s fitting, though: an elegant Support Animal for an elegant MA. You’ve constantly gone above and beyond your duties, and I couldn’t be more grateful.

Thank you, Jao, for being there when I could not - both for 07, and for Leibniz.

Looking back at it, I’m almost entirely sure Lei wouldn’t be around if it weren’t for you supporting her every step of the way. She was…very close to it, sometimes. It was excruciating, being so close yet unable to do anything but watch and hope with all my might for her to somehow find a way out of that darkness. But you were there, and you did everything in your power to help and guide her, no matter how bad things got.

I know Lei isn’t very good at expressing her emotions, but I can tell she adores you. I mean, you can probably tell, too, but I’d rather state the obvious just in case you might not actually know that. You were her first friend, and you’re still her best one.

And I know you might think otherwise, but I… I’m not.

I’m not a good friend, or a good partner, or even a good crewmate. What kind of friend just up and leaves their friends in their times of need? What kind of partner abandons the one they hold dear as if they were some cheap toy existing only to be discarded? What kind of crewmate deserts from the mission entirely to recklessly charge in alone with no plan or other options, without even telling their fellows until it was too late?

If anyone’s the disgrace here, it’s me.

Don’t even try to debate me on this. It’s okay. It’s true, and I’ve accepted it. And besides, it’s not like I can do anything to change that now.

I’ve tried everything I can think of, and I’m pretty sure I’m stuck like this. Well, whatever…this even is. I still don’t understand it, and I’m the one it happened to! Maybe someone back on Sophia might be able to help, but I doubt we’d ever get that chance, especially with that damn Planade hogging the wormhole. Plus, I’m pretty sure all of the signals we tried to send to Sophia never went through, no matter where 07 went.

I wonder if we’ll ever get to see our original home again…

Okay, that’s enough of that. Sorry for kind of venting a bit at you; it’s not your fault I got myself killed for nothing.

…Anyways! You’re doing amazing, my little quetzal, so keep doing what you’re doing. I’m still counting on you to do what I can’t, alright? I‘m not going anywhere, but, well, you know…



Oh, and give Lei some cuddles from me once you’re done with this. I think she’s going to need it, and I know she’ll love you all the more for it.



-- Lucia

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MANUAL ENTRY COMPLETE.]