Chapter Text
The sensation of pain in his head was dull. It spoke of medicine covering a significant injury. He could not see anything through his right eye. There were bandages, but it was more than that, even. He couldn’t feel the eye, couldn’t move it. That’s right; Basil stabbed him, put the eye out with a pair of gardening shears. Or, maybe, there was some part of his eye left. If there was, Sunny could not sense it. No tears had come from it, in any case.
The door to the room was marked only with a number. The hallways beyond seemed suspiciously empty. He could hear their voices carrying from somewhere nearby. The room across, the door was open. Marked only with a number. He was there, lying in the bed, bruised and bandaged, but alive. They stood around him, their voices still carrying. No words, just sound. Each of them distinct; real, not the echoes in his dreams. They had not noticed he was standing there.
Oh , his body felt so heavy as he stepped through the doorway. Kel was the first to notice.
“Sunny!” Three pairs of eyes turned to him. “You’re awake! I-I mean, you’re up!”
He hadn’t planned on what he was going to say; how he was going to say it. There was fear in him, yes, but it was something more. He had to be correct, he had to choose the right words before he said them, and he wasn’t quite sure how to begin. For the moment, his legs carried him two paces into the room. Two paces, and then stop.
“Did you just wake up? We were just over there a few minutes ago, and…”
Two more paces. Stop. It was getting hard to stand on his feet.
“Sunny, I don’t know if you should be up and walking,” Hero took a few steps towards him. “You lost a lot of blood last night.”
“Wh-what happened to you, what did you guys do?” Aubrey asked, her voice hiding fear. The question stabs at him. I was just about to get to that . It was not a matter of nerves. Fear was one enemy he had defeated. How to begin…
“Aubrey, not now…” Hero said. Another pace. Stop. Just a bit further, and he would be at the bedside. He wavers on his feet, and all three of them move forward.
“Easy there, easy, Sunny,” Hero’s hand on his shoulder. “Come on, you should lie down, you need—”
“I have to tell you something.” Sunny’s eye drifted around to stare at each of them, finally stopping at Basil’s sleeping face.
“...Whatever it is, you can tell us later. Kel, could you help me, he’s about to fall over.”
“It’s about Mari.” Kel’s hand froze, hovering a few inches above his shoulder. “It was my fault. I…I…” He had never told anyone before. The words were getting stuck in his throat, so he swallowed them, and began again.
“Sunny, hey, it wasn’t your fault,” Hero said quietly, soothing, his hand still on his shoulder. “It wasn’t anyone’s fault. Believe me, I know exactly what you mean.” Sunny shook his head, and brushed Hero’s hand from his shoulder.
“You need to rest,” Aubrey said from somewhere to his right. “Just…you’ve had one hell of a shock, right?”
“It wasn’t. Mari didn’t…” He sighed heavily, and closed his eye. “Mari didn’t kill herself. I did. I killed her.” Silence. No one tried to touch him. “We had an argument. I broke my violin, the one you got me for Christmas. Stress got to me.” Roughness in the throat. Tears coming. He had wanted to remain composed, but he could not stop them. “We fought. It was bad, she was yelling, and I wanted to, to get away, I-I-I tried to get away, b-but, but she stopped me, grabbed my arm, I-I was angry and I-I-I was afraid and, and, and I pushed her. She fell down the stairs.”
He heard a strangled gasp. It could have been any of them. His eye was still closed, trembling. The tears escaped it, running down his face. His voice was breaking, but he kept going. He had never spoken about this before, not even to himself. The words were coming faster and faster.
“Basil was there,” He opened his eye and stared down at him again. Still asleep. “He, he, h-he saw it happen, he s-saw, saw me do it. He wanted to protect me, so he s-suggested—” His voice steadied, his eye closed, his hands grabbed at the metal bed rail so that he wouldn’t fall over. No one tried to help him. “I helped him do it, w-we hung her, together. Made it look like a suicide. He did it to protect me.” Silence. He opened his eye, and finally looked at them. He could not describe the looks on their faces.
“You needed to know, you deserved to know, I needed to tell you, and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, I lied to you, and I’d never ask you to forgive me, but please don’t blame him, don’t blame Basil. It was an accident, but it was my fau—” Aubrey grabbed him by the collar of his hospital gown and shook him roughly. His vision cascaded into black and white.
“Shut up!” She yelled. “What the fuck are you talking about?! Is this some sort of sick joke, wh-what the fuck is wrong with you?!” Sunny turned his head away from her to cough. Hero had left the room, at some point.
“Aubrey…” Kel said from somewhere behind him.
“N-no,” Sunny spluttered, ears ringing. Her grip tightened on his gown as the panic took her. “I’m sor—”
“Y-you, killed her, you killed her, and you fucking lied about it, you LIED about it for FOUR FUCKING YEARS, HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME, SUNNY, SAY SOMETHING, FUCKING SAY SOMETHING, SAY SOMETHING, SAY—” As she started to scream in his face, her voice rising to hysterics, her hands shook him more violently, and his consciousness almost faded, until she suddenly pulled away, her breath shuddering to silence.
“AUBREY!” Kel shouted, in a voice neither of them had ever heard him use. Sunny collapsed to his knees. Blood was soaking through his bandages. Aubrey’s hands were covering the anguish on her face. He had said what he had to say. She could do whatever she liked with him now, but she merely shook her head, eyes shut tight, shaking with quiet sobs. He closed his eye and let his head rest against the bedrail.
“Sunny,” Kel’s voice came from just above him. His hands grabbed Sunny under the arms, lifting him gently. “You’re bleeding, the wound must have reopened.” Sunny steadied himself against the rail again, and glanced at Kel. He looked tired, almost afraid, face still wet from his tears. Aubrey had left the room.
“Sunny…what you said…” Kel spoke slowly. “You’ve lost a lot of blood, or you're confused, or…please, tell me it’s not true.”
“I’m sorry, Kel,” Sunny said. “It is. It was an accident, but it was my fault.” Kel’s eyes went wide, and he gave a shaky exhale after a moment.
“I…don’t know what to say…I have to go, I have to check on my brother. Aubrey. I’ll get…someone for you.”
“Go. Make sure they’re alright.” That was all that mattered. Kel’s hand brushed Sunny’s shoulder as he passed. And he was alone. Some sort of a weight lifted. He had said what he had to say. The exhaustion his body had refused to recognize was starting to take him. He really should lie down now, but he kept himself leaning against the bedrail, and waited for Basil to wake up.