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Lazy days were nice. No responsibilities, no stress, just pure relaxation. A time to do absolutely nothing.
A time to do absolutely nothing together.
Amity glanced over to the girl currently lying to her right. Luz, her amazing girlfriend, was currently engrossed in a reread of the third Azura book. Amity had managed to finish her reread a couple minutes ago while Luz was only about halfway done with the book. Luz was always a slower reader than Amity. She’d often get distracted by something in the outside world or have to reread entire sections since, according to her, her brain sometimes couldn’t process what she was reading well. Amity didn’t mind, it gave her some time to admire her girlfriend as she read when she was finished with her book.
It was admittedly pretty weird seeing Luz in her bed at blight manor. Her mom would kill both of them if she knew Luz was within 5 feet of the mansion. However, she didn’t. Odalia and Alador were out of town on some business trip for the weekend and Ed and Em didn’t mind that Luz was there, heck they liked it since it gave them an opportunity to tease Amity about their relationship.
It was silent in Amity’s room. The only noise being the occasional page flip from Luz as she read on. It wasn’t like the cold silence that filled her room before Luz entered her life, it was a peaceful silence. A silence of content. A silence Amity could get used to.
But like most quiet moments with Luz, it didn’t last long. A huge yawn filled the room as Luz placed her book down on the table next to Amity’s bed and turned to face her girlfriend, avoiding eye contact so neither girl was uncomfortable. “As much as I love Azura I’m feeling pretty tired, what about you?”
Now that Luz mentioned it, Amity was feeling rather drowsy. “Yeah I actually am,” Amity said, letting out her own yawn, “If you want to take a nap here go ahead, my bed is big enough for the both of us.”
“Yeah,” Luz went quiet for a moment before her eyes lit up with an idea, “Hey Amity, I have an idea.”
“What’s the idea?” Amity inquired.
“What if,” a blush was forming across the shorter girl's face, “we cuddled?”
“C-cuddled?” A blush was forming on Amity’s face as well, along with anxiety forming in her chest. They had not cuddled before and truth be told it scared Amity, “I uh, I don’t know.”
“Oh,” Luz’s expression dropped, the disappointment in her face very evident.
“It’s not that I don’t want to,” Amity began to stammer out, “I’m just afraid.”
“Afraid of what?” Luz asked.
“Afraid I’ll hate it,” Amity answered honestly, a bit of shame dotting her words, “I know I’ve talked about how I can have an issue with touch and I’m terrified that if we cuddle I’ll feel uncomfortable and won’t be able to do it. And then you’ll be upset with me and-”
“Hey,” Luz interrupted her, the tone in her voice soft and comforting, “It’s fine if you don’t want to cuddle. I get it, I’m autistic too remember! I know what it’s like to be touch adverse sometimes.”
“Really?” Amity responded, “But you always seem so open to physical contact.”
“And I usually am,” Luz said, “But sometimes it just feels wrong. Like my brain just can’t handle it at that moment and that’s okay! It’s okay if cuddling makes you uncomfortable! If you want we can just take a nap next to each other, I’m more than okay with that.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes I’m sure,” Luz said as she placed her hand near Amity’s face, making sure to avoid contact, “However, I think you should try it out, if you want to of course! Maybe you’ll like it. And if you hate it then we can just go back to lying like.”
Amity took a moment to consider her offer, “Alright I think I can try it. How do you want to do this?”
A smile crept back onto Luz’s face, “That’s great! What I would like to try is to have you face away from me and I’ll wrap my arms around you. Are you okay with trying that?”
“I think so,” Amity said as she turned to be lying on her side, face away from her girlfriend, “Like this?”
“Perfect,” Luz said as she crept close to Amity, “Now I’m going to wrap my arms around you, if you ever feel uncomfortable just say something and I’ll stop, okay?”
“Okay,” Amity responded. As she did, Amity felt Luz’s arms slowly wrap around her, eventually meeting. It was a weird sensation, having someone wrap their arms around her like this. Her parents never held her when she was younger and anytime her siblings tried to, it just felt wrong. But this? It felt…nice. It was an extremely light grip though, and Amity wanted more. “Can you hold me tighter?”
“Of course,” Luz said, the same soft tone she had been using the entire time still laced her words. Luz pulled her girlfriend in closer as her arms tightened around the taller girl. Luz’s head was now resting on Amity’s shoulder. Luz was warm, very warm. And to add to that warmness Luz pulled the blanket over them so all but their heads were covered by it. Amity at that moment concluded that this was the greatest feeling in the world. She felt safe in her girlfriend's arms, not to mention loved, two feelings she lacked a lot of before Luz came along.
Then she felt a familiar feeling coming up her throat as tears began to slowly fall from her eyes. Titan why am I crying? I can’t do this now. Luz will think I’m weird. Amity let out a sniffle as she attempted to get her emotions under control.
Evidently Luz had noticed as she asked, “Amity are you crying?”
“N-no,” Amity lied.
“Amity if you feel like crying go ahead,” Luz said and with that, she was reminded of something. She wasn’t in front of her mother or her old ‘friends,’ She was with Luz. She was with her wonderful, wonderful girlfriend who didn’t care if she showed her emotions. She wasn’t in the presence of her mother who would berated her for showing weakness. She was with Luz, who would reassure her that crying didn’t make her weak. So that’s what she did.
Amity began to quietly cry.
She wasn’t entirely sure why. Maybe her brain was having trouble processing the many emotions she was feeling then and there and needed to let it out. Amity didn’t have the answer but in a way it was healing to do this.
Her quiet sobs soon grew louder as Luz began to softly whisper affirming words into her ear, “It’s okay. Cry as much as you like. You’re safe here.”
A few minutes passed and Amity ran out of tears. After a few more moments Amity finally spoke up again, quietly saying to her girlfriend, “Never let go of me.”
Luz chuckled quietly, “I won’t,” Luz placed a small kiss on Amity’s cheek, “Goodnight Hermosa.” It wasn’t long after that that sleep officially took over the two girls.