Chapter Text
Maybe he thinks I'm not worth the trouble
Maybe I'm too much
This is not comfortable, well, at least he is happy.
This hurts
But I can't safeword, he'll be mad. Just suck it up and it'll be over soon.
"Baby? Color?"
"Green"
Damn that was a little forced. Eh. He won't know.
"...baby"
He grabs my chin to look at him. Damnit. Those eyes. I shouldn't lie. I said I would tell him if I needed to stop. He said he would.
I want to stop.
no.
I want him to stop.
It hurts, everything hurts.
"Green, sir"
What? I'm not green. I'm yellow at best. Headed right for-
"Look me in the eyes and tell me you're green"
Damnit.
I can't. He'll know.
"I know baby, I already know, but I need you to say it. I want you to know that you can. See that I'm not going to be mad."
"I can't"
"Yes you can baby, you have the power here."
"But"
"I don't want to hear anything out of your mouth unless it's your safeword love."
He's already turned off his rough and dominating tone and replaced it with the calm and gentle caretaker I have come to know and love. I can feel my tears running down the side of my face, I can feel him reach his thumb up to wipe them away gently, so gently.
"it's okay baby, use you word and this all stops, don't be scared. I'll be right here I promise, just say it."
My eyes are rapidly shifting from him to the wall, from him to the door.
The door.
He'll make me leave
As soon as this is over he'll throw me away like everyone else.
"No ma'am." Pulling my eyes from the door. "Not gonna happen. The only place you're going is right here, in my arms, wehre you belong."
"Don't go"
"I'm not going anywhere my love, go on, say it. Please baby."
I don't want to leave, I've never felt so safe in all my life.
I can't leave.
But what if he stays?
I'm so sore.
Everything hurts.
I meet his eyes again. "you're safe" they say, "I've got you"
"r..red"
It comes out barely a whisper.
"Good girl, such a good girl." he kisses my forehead as he pulls out of me. I whimper at the loss of him. He leans in to push the hair back from my face but I'm already gone. I curl into myself as sobs rack my body.
It's over,
It's over,
He's gone
Great fucking job you fucked everything up you stupid little whore.
How you feel now?
used?
sore?
alone?
good. That's how you deserve to feel.
I can't believe you even got him to fuck you in the first place, he must of truly been desperate.
Nothing else would explain why he would chose you,
a sorry waste of life.
pitiful. truly. sad and useless.
you should run.
run now.
he's better off without you
he doesn't need to be stressed about you, he deserves better than that.
"Baby"
"Baby, please come back to me. Stay with me. I've got you."
There are strong arms wrapping around me. Hindering my movements. Hands, too many hands, they're everywhere, around my neck, I can't breathe. I'm gasping. This hurts.
"STOP please. stop."
I can't move. I'm stuck here. I can feel him, on top of me.
Please get off
Fight him
fight him off
My limbs won't work
Please, if you get me out of this situation I'll never drink again I promise.
I'm clawing at my arms now, digging my nails in as far as they will go.
get off me
get off me
get off
get off
get off
I can't scratch anymore, someone's holding my hands, someone's talking. I can, I can hear...
"Shhhhhhhh baby, it's okay. I'm here. I've got you. No one is ever going to lay a hand on what's mine."
I feel. Someone is running their fingers through my hair.
"Good girl. such a good girl. There she is, I'm so happy to see you. You're okay. Everything is going to be okay. Just let me take care of everything. Let me take care of you."
The hand on my hair feels so nice. I want to be closer. I nuzzle my way into his neck, he smells so good.
"There you go sweet girl, get comfortable,"
He wraps his arms around me. Locking me in. I feel a little weird. Maybe a little floaty? I don't really know, it just feels nice. It's safe here . Safe?
"Yes baby, you're safe here"
oops. I must have said that out loud.
My mouth finds my thumb. I like this. He takes care of me. He makes sure I'm safe.
"...daddy?"
He stiffens for just a second and I think he'll be mad. I've never called him that before. He didn't say I could.
I hide my face.
"hm. sounds like someone's feeling little, is that right sweet girl?
I shake my head and he giggles, "no? are you sure? It's okay angel, daddy wants you to be little, if it makes you feel safe then that makes me very happy."
He pulls back to kiss my forehead and I giggle. The sound halfway muffled by my thumb.
"What a pretty baby"
You hide your face again. He's so warm and soft. You yawned. When did I get so tired?? Maybe if I just close my eyes? Surely he won't mind.
~
What the hell am I doing? I'm tucked into his arms, and what in the fuck is my thumb doing in my mouth?
"Welcome back baby, I was missing you."
He kisses my temple and I subtly take my fucking thumb out of my mouth.
"It's okay love, I'm not going to judge you, you did what you had to to feel safe. Don't worry we can talk about it later."
You nod.
"Good, now let's get you cleaned up"
You stiffen as he sits up, sneaking your hand out for his forearm, You didn't want to stop touching him.
"Feeling a little clingy huh? That's okay I like you that way. Alright my little Klingon, let's go take a bath. "
He wraps his arms around my back and under my knees. I tense every sorry excuse for a muscle I have in an attempt to make myself lighter. He, of course, was not having it.
"Relax baby, you're not too heavy, I'd carry you all day if I could."
Well I wasn't fat, but I certainly was not skinny. My top half is fine, but the bottom half of me is sporting thick thighs and an ass that made most men look twice but I secretly hate it.
He places me on the edge of the tub, but never let go of my hand as he started the bath.
With the cool air in the bathroom hitting me, I suddenly felt very exposed. My insecurities were rearing their ugly heads. I drop his hand in an attempt to cover as much skin as possible.
I watch his kneel down on the floor in front of me as he takes my hands in his.
"You're beautiful"
You continued to stare at the very interesting spot on the floor. Strong fingers grip my chin.
"Who do you belong to?"
"You"
"Good girl"
"and who knows what's best for you?"
"You"
"Good girl"
"And who is in charge of making sure you are eating and sleeping?"
"You"
"Good girl"
"Who do your worries belong to?"
"...you"
" Such a good girl. Now, tell me, why are you ashamed of what is mine? That's how this works, you let me take care of you, especially when your head is telling you all these lies."
"you shouldn't have to" my voice sounds so small.
His eyes soften, "You are not a burden my love, I love you. You are everything to me, your submission, your trust, and your devotion are gifts I will never be able to repay."