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“Moony!” Sirius’ yell could be heard throughout the house as he watched the Potter’s fireplace turn green and Remus appeared in the living room.
Running up to him, Sirius threw his arms around Remus. The taller boy stumbled back, shocked by the sudden display of affection. Stiffly, he reached his arms around Sirius’ waist, patting him on the back.
Realizing what he had done, Sirius abruptly let go, his hand rubbing the back of his neck. They had only been out of school for a few weeks, but the sight of Remus made Sirius’ heart speed. After a couple of moments of awkward silence, Sirius cleared his throat, “I - I was just - erm, how are you feeling, Remus?”
“I’m fine,” Remus assured, but Sirius knew he was lying. The full moon was two nights ago. Sirius knew Remus wasn’t thrilled about traveling so close to the moon, but they wanted as much time at the seaside as possible.
Just as Sirius was about to argue, Mrs. Potter came into the living room. “Remus, dear, it’s so nice to see you, have you had a good summer so far?” she asked, handing him a cheese bun.
“Yeah, it’s been nice.” He answered, his words muffled from the food.
A knock sounded on the door and Euphemia rushed to open it. James ran down the stairs with his bag. “Hey, Pete,” he said, “ready to see the ocean?” He asked, turning the corner from the entryway into the living room. “Moony! It's good to see you.”
“Hey, James.” Remus murmured.
“What are we waiting for?” Sirius whined, “I’m ready to go.”
Remus rolled his eyes, causing Peter to stifle a giggle.
“We’re almost ready, Sirius,” Euphemia assured, “We’re just waiting for Monty to set up the portkey.”
As if on cue, Mr. Potter came out of his study. “Hello boys, got everything?”
A chorus of yeses rang out as Mr. Potter set an old tin can on the coffee table.
“Right then, we have about 5 minutes until the portkey goes. Make sure you have all your bags and Effie dear, do we have the food?”
Sirius looked around and saw that Remus looked a bit peaky. “All right there, Moony?
“I’m fine.” He answered shortly.
“Are you sure you’re okay to use a portkey?”
“Yes, Sirius, I already told you, I’m okay.”
“Moony, it’s ok if you don’t feel up to it. You look a bit green.”
“Merlin's beard Sirius, I told you I’m fine!” Remus snapped.
A look of hurt unintentionally crossed Sirius’ face. He took a step back. “Sorry for bothering you, Remus.”
Remus looked stricken. “No, Sirius, I’m sorry. It's just - I missed you all during the moon,” he whispered, “It was different without you there.”
Sirius looked straight into Remus’ eyes as if to look behind the facade of ‘I’m fine’. “Moony, you know we could’ve gone, it wouldn’t have been any trouble.” He fought the urge to reach out and touch him.
“Erm, thanks Padfoot.”
“Alrighty boys,” James sang, “Who’s ready to go!”
Mr. and Mrs. Potter walked back in with the food. The group grabbed their bags, and put their fingers on the portkey.
--
Sirius felt a pull behind his naval, and then he and the others were surrounded by blue skies and the smell of salt in the air.
Sirius reveled in the atmosphere, looking to his left to tell Remus about the birds. As he glanced up, he saw Remus start to lose his balance. He quickly reached his arms out to catch him. The taller boy's nails dug into his forearms, trying to right himself.
“I've got you, Moons,” he said, hooking his arm under Remus’ shoulder.
Remus said nothing and just let Sirius guide him to the staircase of the hotel they were staying at. James saw Sirius struggling and quickly ran over to help. Peter rushed to catch up, grabbing Remus’ bag on the way.
Once they were able to sit Remus down, James was the first to speak, “Remus, are you alright? What happened?”
Remus looked down at his fidgeting scarred hands, not able to face any of his friends, “I’ve told you all multiple times, you don’t need to worry about me. It’s just the moon.”
James sank down beside Remus on the step, putting a hand on his shoulder. He started to speak but was interrupted by his parents rushing toward them.
“Remus dear, are you alright?” Euphemia asked, her voice tinged with concern.
“Yes, Mrs. Potter, I’m alright. Just a bit dizzy from the portkey.” It was an obvious lie, but Sirius knew it was because he didn’t want to worry James’ parents.
Seeing Remus’ frustrations, Sirius quickly changed the subject. “So, I’m ready to hit the beach, lads. James? Peter?”
Picking up on what Sirius was trying to do, James quickly agreed. “Yeah, mum, can’t we just put our stuff up, get changed, and head to the beach.”
“Of course, dear. Monty, help me grab our trunks.”
--
Mr. and Mrs. Potter went and got the room keys from the front desk. “Alright boys, you will be staying in room 214, and Effie and I will be across the hall in 215. Here are the keys. Enjoy yourselves, and don't get into to much trouble.”
James took the key from his dad, then looked at the other three, “Race you to the room,” his eyebrows raised in a question.
“You’re on Potter,” Peter said, already running down the hall.
“Oi, Pettigrew,” James called, chasing after him.
Sirius looked over at Remus, a smile dancing at his lips. “You up for it, Lupin?”
Remus just shook his head. “You can go on without me, though”
“Oh that would be no fun. Besides, we need to remember the layout of the hotel for when we sneak out.”
When Sirius and Remus finally got to the room, Peter and James were standing outside the door, wheezing.
“Welcome to our humble abode,” James put on an overly posh accent as he turned the key in the lock.
Sirius walked into the room. It was, of course, beach themed. By the door, there was a small bathroom, with just a toilet and shower. The sink in the kitchenette. The walls were covered in seaside decorations, and a huge window had teal coverings to match the comforters on the beds.
“There's only two beds,” Remus stated, a slight grimace on his face.
James set his stuff down on the bed closest to the door. “Pete, do you want to share? You’re the only one out of the two of them who doesn’t move around. I’m trying to at least get a bit of sleep this holiday.”
The group laughed. “Oi, at least I don’t mumble in my sleep,” Sirius shouted, punching James in the arm.
Peter looked happy enough to agree and sat his bags down beside James’. Sirius started over to the other bed, setting his trunk on the floor beside it.
Remus looked beyond uncomfortable as he moved to sit on his side.
Sirius, Peter, and James started digging around in their trunks, looking for their swimsuits. James went into the bathroom to change, while Peter held up a towel covering up his side of the room.
Sirius started to take off his trousers and shirt when he heard Remus inhale sharply. “What?” he said, looking up.
“Maybe a little warning before then next time you start stripping?”
“Why, like what you see?” Sirius said, smirking.
Remus blushed, making a noncommittal noise before quickly looking in the other direction.
Sirius started gathering his towel when he realized Remus hadn’t put a bathing suit on.
“Are you not going, Moony?” Sirius asked.
“Erm, no. I figured I would just stay here, catch up on some studying.”
“Merlin Remus, it’s only a couple weeks into summer, you can’t possibly be behind on summer homework.” Peter shuttered as if the thought of school was unbearable.
James walked out of the bathroom, “Why don’t you just go down to the beach with us, Remus? You don’t have to swim, but maybe the fresh air will do you some good.”
Remus sighed, gathering his books. “Fine, but I am not swimming.” Sirius shot him a grin.
The other three boys cheered and all four marauders walked out of the door. Sirius hung back to walk with Remus.
“You’re not even going to bring a bathing suit?”
“No, I’m not that fond of swimming.”
“Why, you know how, right?”
“Of course I know how, Sirius. I’m not stupid.” Remus snapped.
“Sorry Moony, I just meant that if you didn't know how, I could teach you…” Sirius trailed off.
“Oh,” Remus was taken aback, “Thanks Sirius.” He hesitated before speaking again, “I got some new scars.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, on my stomach.”
“Do they hurt much?”
“Erm, no, not much. Not any more than usual.”
“Y’know Moony, you’re allowed to show your scars.”
Remus shrugged.
--
Sirius felt so free. Running into the waves with his best friends was his idea of a perfect day. He hadn’t ever been to the sea before. He loved the smell of the salty air. He loved the sound of the birds squawking and the waves crashing. He loved the feel of the sand squishing between his toes and the breeze blowing through his hair.
“Hey, Pads,” James said, knocking his shoulder into the other boy’s arm. “Wanna play with the volleyball?”
“Nah,” He responded, looking up at the silhouette of their friend on the beach. “Think I’m going to see if Remus wants to get in.”
“Okay, good luck,” He laughed, “Pete?” Peter assented and he and James ran off to shore.
Sirius wished Remus would get in the ocean with them. He decided to go ask him, even if he left his shirt on. Walking up from the ocean, he stopped short when he finally caught a clear view of Remus.
The wind was blowing through his overgrown hair in a way that would’ve looked horribly messy on anyone but Remus. The setting sun caused Remus’ skin to have a sort of golden glow. He was focusing on his book, biting his lip in the way he always did when he was concentrating. He had a faint smile on his lips that could only be explained by something funny happening in the story.
Sirius’ heart was beating out of his chest. He couldn’t seem to tear his eyes away. Suddenly Remus looked up and his amber eyes met Sirius’ own grey ones.
Sirius found himself running toward Remus. When he finally reached him, he sat down beside him, a little closer than strictly necessary.
“Moony, do you want to come in the water with me?” He begged, throwing him a fake pouty face.
“Sirius, I don’t have a swimsuit,”
“Well, nobody said you had to have a swimsuit. You can just swim in your clothes. I’m sure Effie knows a drying spell.”
Remus seemed to think about the offer, which is more than Sirius expected.
“I don't know…”
“Come on, Remus, we’re at the beach! You’re gonna have to swim eventually.”
“It does look pretty fun,”
“That’s the spirit! Come on,” Sirius stood up and held his hand out to Remus. He grabbed it and Sirius dragged them down to the water.
Remus stopped at about waist level, looking at Peter and James. “What are they doing?” He asked.
“They’re playing volleyball. They invited me to play, but I wanted to see if you’d get in.” Sirius answered. “Do you want to go play with them?”
Remus laughed. “Sirius, do you really expect me to play a sport willingly? I'm rubbish at them.”
Sirius laughed too, splashing Remus. Remus splashed back and soon enough they were in a full on splash war.
Before they knew it, the pair had drifted out until the water was up to Sirius’ chest.
“Woah, Padfoot, look at that wave,” Remus pointed to a wave swelling in the distance.
Sirius followed his finger, “Merlin, that’s huge.”
“Should we go back?”
“Maybe, we’re kinda far -”
Suddenly the wave was crashing right above them. Sirius and Remus got sucked under. Sirius lost track of where Remus was once he resurfaced. Panicking, he finally spotted a hand sticking out from the waves. Sirius reached out and grabbed it, pulling Remus towards the surface of the water. He coughed once he got to the surface, leaning on Sirius for support.
“Moony, are you okay? Let’s go back now,” Sirius didn’t wait for Remus to respond, waves were coming at them faster. He dragged him toward the shoreline.
Once they finally made it to the shallower water, Remus sat down, breathing heavily.
Remus looked at Sirius, “Thanks for saving me back there, Padfoot.”
“Of course, Remus. Couldn’t just leave you out there to drown, could I? Who else will plan our pranks?” He threw his arms around Remus’ shoulders.
Remus tensed underneath the touch.
Sirius looked over at Peter and James. “Do you want to go back to the room? I don't think Prongs and Wormtail would mind.”
“Yeah, sure. But I can go back by myself, you can stay here if you’d rather.” Remus shifted to face Sirius, causing his arm to fall into the sand.
“Nah, I’ve had enough of the ocean for one day, besides, it’s getting a bit cold.” Remus shivered, as if proving his point.
With that, Sirius and Remus began the trek back to the hotel. Remus unlocked their door and made a beeline for his bag. He grabbed out his toothbrush, and his pajamas. Sirius heard the shower turn on a few minutes later.
Sirius sat on the bed thinking about the day. It had been really fun, he had felt so at home. But there was one thought that kept coming back to him, one that he didn’t really want to think about. Why had Remus set his heart pounding all day? No logical answer would come to him. So instead he thought about playing with Remus in the ocean. His thoughts were interrupted by the bathroom door opening. Remus’ hair was still damp, and it dripped onto the collar of his pajama shirt. A gasp caught in Sirius’ throat and he had to remember how to breathe.
Remus came and sat down on the other side of the bed, grabbing his book from the nightstand. Sirius watched him settle down and open to the bookmarked page.
Sirius thought he could watch him for hours. He looked at the curve of his nose. The spattering of freckles across his cheeks that had gotten darker from the sun. He admired Remus’ eyelashes. He had heard Lily and Mary talking about how jealous they were of Remus’ long lashes and now he finally understood. Sirius had to suppress the urge to wipe the smidge of toothpaste off the corner of his mouth.
Sirius’ gaze dropped down to Remus’ arms. He very rarely wore short sleeves out and about, most of the time he didn’t even wear them in their dorm room at Hogwarts. Sirius saw his scars, a couple of them newer than others. He wondered if any of them had come from the moon just a couple days ago.
Sirius was overcome with a sudden curiosity about what the new scars on his stomach looked like. Remus didn’t often talk about his new scars after the moon, so these obviously had to be pretty big for him to bring them up.
Hesitating, Sirius cleared his throat, “Remus do you remember when you said your new scars didn’t hurt anymore than usual? How much is usual?” He finally asked.
Remus looked over at him, a shocked look on his face. “Erm… well right now it's kind of a dull ache, but tomorrow it probably won’t hurt unless it rubs against something.”
“Did it hurt a lot when you first got it?”
Remus was searching for a response. Sirius could see it in his face.
“Yeah, it did.” He finally said, his voice a little strained.
They settled into a silence. It wasn’t entirely comfortable, but it wasn't awkward either.
Finally, Remus spoke. He could tell why Sirius was asking. “Do you want to see them?”
Sirius nodded, an apologetic look in his eyes, and Remus started lifting his shirt above his head.
Sirius’ breath caught in his throat. Again.
“Well, here they are,” Remus said, gesturing to his stomach.
The scars were bigger than Sirius had imagined. They spanned all the way from the top of his stomach to his waist. A few more were scattered across his skin.
Remus held his breath as Sirius examined him. Sirius fought the urge to touch him.
When Sirius finally looked up, the look was so intense, Remus couldn’t hold his gaze. “You are beautiful, Remus.”
Remus didn’t know how to respond. He quickly pulled his shirt back on, uncomfortable with all the attention. He whispered a thanks, barely audible enouhh for Sirius to hear it. After a moment, Sirius settled back into his original position.
Sirius sat staring at the wall in front of the bed once Remus went back to his book. He thought about their bookish Moony. The one who folded his socks. The one who wouldn’t hurt a fly. The one who turned into a werewolf every month. His heart ached for the boy who had his freedom taken from him when he was just five years old.
Eventually, he got up to take a shower and get ready for bed. When he got out Peter and James still weren’t back yet. He walked back over to the bed and saw that Remus had moved under the covers. Sirius pulled back the comforter and slipped underneath the sheets. His calf grazed Remus’ knee, sending tingles all the way up to his spine.
The two boys sat in silence, both content to just sit with the other and soak up their presence. Sirius zoned out, thinking about the next year at Hogwarts, and what pranks the marauders would do. He was only jolted back into reality when he felt a weight on his shoulder. He looked to his right and saw that Remus was still reading his book, he was just leaning on Sirius.
Sirius’ heart started beating uncontrollably, and he was suddenly hyper aware of every move his body made. Under the covers, Sirius moved his foot so it grazed Remus’.
They sat like that for what felt like an eternity. Eventually, Remus started snoring lightly. Sirius was almost asleep when loud laughter evaded his ears. Peter and James rushed into the room, laughing.
“Oi! Prongs, Moony’s sleeping.” He whispered.
“Sorry, Padfoot," he apologized, as Peter squeaked an apology.
The two got ready in the bathroom, trying to make as little noise as possible. When James got back into the room, he flopped onto the bed, sighing happily.
“Had a good day then?” Sirius murmured.
“Yeah, it was bloody brilliant. We didn’t see you much after you left, did you have a good time?”
“Yeah, I never realized how fun the ocean was.”
“Did Remus ever get in?”
“Yeah, he did. We went out pretty deep.”
“I’m glad, I was worried he wouldn’t be able to enjoy holiday.”
Sirius didn’t say anything. Peter finally came out of the bathroom, turning off the light as he came to bed.
They stayed quiet, Sirius memorizing this moment. Moony sleeping on his shoulder, Prongs and Wormtail quietly arguing on the other side of the room.
“James, just stay on your side, ok.” Peter declared. “Are we ready to go to bed now?”
Remus jolted awake, quickly lifting his head off of Sirius’ shoulder. “What's happening?” He wondered, voice groggy from sleep.
“We were just about to go to sleep,” James answered from the other side of the room.
Remus muttered something under his breath, sliding further under the covers. He wouldn't look at Sirius. Giving up on meeting Remus’ eyes, Sirius followed suit, watching Remus turn away from him and settle down onto the pillow. Sirius mirrored his position, pressing his back into Remus’. He heard a content sigh before beginning to drift off
--
Sirius woke up to the sound of something crashing to the floor. “Sorry!” Peter squeaked, quickly bending down to pick it up.
It took Sirius a moment to remember where he was and who he was with. He felt an unfamiliar weight on his chest and looked down. Remus’ arm was strewn across his stomach, his head lying on his shoulder. Sirius’ arm was around Remus’ waist.
He was quickly filled with panic, a small part of his brain screaming this isn’t right. But Merlin, this felt like the most natural thing in the world. Sirius knew he had to get up, but he couldn't find the strength.
Remus shifted beside him. His eyes went wide when he realized how he was lying. “I’m so sorry, Sirius-” he spluttered, lifting his head and arm.
Sirius’ arm tightened around him. “Please don’t apologize,” he whispered.
After a moment of hesitation, Remus sank back into the embrace, sighing happily against Sirius’ ear. “Shouldn't we get up?” He whispered after what could’ve been an eternity.
Sirius just shook his head. He couldn’t say it out loud, but never wanted to leave this moment. Or this bed. He just wanted to stay here, with his Moony, forever.