Chapter Text
"You're lucky you're dead."
Astarion let out an exaggerated sigh and stared at Shadowheart. "Oh, yes. I feel so very lucky. Perhaps you should try it out for yourself sometime."
"Honestly? That doesn't sound like a terrible idea right about now," Shadowheart grumbled. "At least then I wouldn't have to deal with…this."
"With what?"
Shadowheart gave a quick look around them to make sure they were alone before leaning in toward Astarion, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper, "You know damn well what I'm talking about! Last I checked, you still have a working sense of smell."
"Ah. Yes. That. Hm. Well," Astarion murmured back, dodging her gaze, "I wouldn't worry too much. It's not that noticeable."
"Don't lie to me!” Shadowheart hissed, “It might not happen to you anymore, but I'm sure you haven't forgotten what the early warning signs of heat are!” her fire smoldered down to burning coals, “And it's always noticeable."
"Oh? And what makes you think I know?"
Shadowheart blinked, confused. "Well…you're an omega too, aren't you?"
Astarion sat back, gasping in shock, hand on his chest, "How dare you! I am a proud alpha, no matter how much my body has changed!"
"Oh! Oh. I didn’t realize you were an–"
Shadowheart was cut off by Astarion bursting into laughter.
"Oh good Gods, your face! Priceless!" he squealed, "I cannot believe you fell for that!"
"Astarion!"
"Oh, goodness. Goodness me," he laughed. "Come now, dear. I was only teasing. Of course I'm an omega. Did you really think an alpha could ever look this beautiful?"
Shadowheart grit her teeth. "I suppose this is what I get for thinking I could trust you with a delicate matter."
"Oh, please. Don't be like that, darling," Astarion smiled, brushing a hand against her arm. "I feel for you, I truly do. But surely you have ways of managing it. I mean, we've been journeying for well over a month, so that means you've had at least one pass without issue. Why worry about it now?"
"Because…" Shadowheart groaned into a tortured sigh, "Because Lady Shar maintained the health and well-being of her followers. That included providing sanctuary from various… ‘troublesome compulsions’.” she fiddled with a lock of white hair, “But now that I've turned my back on Lady Shar…"
Astarion's smile fell. "Oh dear. I see. Well, that is a problem."
"As I’ve been trying to tell you.” Shadowheart’s lips twisted, sourly, “So can you help me or not?"
"Help you?” Astarion recoiled slightly, “Did you not just hear me say I'm also an omega?"
"Oh, believe me, I’m not asking for that kind of help.” Shadowheart looked equally repulsed, “Just…do you have any advice on the matter? Coping mechanisms? Ways to deal with more… basal urges, shall we say?"
"Sorry, darling. I only ever took care of it the old-fashioned way," Astarion replied in a way that could almost be apologetic, "Although at least you have that option available to you. This camp is a veritable feast of alphas, you know."
Shadowheart sighed. "I’ve noticed. But I was really hoping to avoid that."
"Why avoid?” a cat-like smile appeared on his lips, “Why not indulge? It’s much easier that way! And you have some many delectable partners to choose from! Why, there's Karlach, Halsin, Jaheira… and… well, Lae'zel, I suppose."
"Uck. Don't remind me."
"Oh, come, come, now! You wanted actual advice, and this is just that." Astarion explained. "There's no better way to avoid getting emotionally attached to a mating partner than sleeping with someone you absolutely hate." he smiled, “Speaking from experience, of course.”
Shadowheart's winced, drawing away a bit "I’m… going to assume that’s a joke."
"Oh, I never joke. At least not about matters this serious.” he flicked his hand, “And by ‘serious’, I mean ‘intimate’. Not to mention ‘fun’. You get to enjoy yourself without fear of forming a bond. It sounds like a win-win situation to me.”
The cleric groaned and put her head in her hands. Astarion had a point, but that didn’t make it a good one or a welcome one. It was the kind of insufferable point that jabbed at her brain and demanded immediate attention. It made sense logically, sure, but… Lae’zel?
No. No way.
It was true that they were no longer at each other’s throats the way they used to be, but they were far from friendly . Both had made their disdain for the other clear. The only reason they hadn’t been fighting as much was due to their concentrated efforts to avoid one another as much as possible.
She would have to swallow her dignity and ask someone else directly. Karlach would do it if she asked, right? The barbarian was a kind soul, and there was no way she would let a friend suffer when she could help them. Yes, that would do. It was, at the very least, an option that didn’t involve her having to make physical contact with Lae’zel. That made it a winning proposition.
“I’ll ask Karlach. I’m sure she’ll help,” she stated defiantly, staring at Astarion as if he had challenged her to a battle of wits. “There won’t be any need to get the gith involved.”
“Ah, yes. Of course,” Astarion nodded. “Although, come to think of it, there might be a slight issue with that plan.”
“Oh, for Sh-! For Selune’s sake, what is it now? ”
“Oh, nothing. Don’t mind me. Just an idle observation is all.”
Shadowheart rolled her eyes and stood to leave. “I’ll leave you to your idle observations, then.”
“As you please, my dear,” Astarion smiled at her with surprising warmth. “Don’t be a stranger. Whatever does end up happening, I expect you to share the juiciest details with me.”
“No promises.”
***
“Ah, Hells…” Karlach gazed down apologetically at her furiously blushing cleric companion. “I’m really sorry you’ve gotta go through all that! It’s not fair for Shar to throw that on you on top of everything else.”
“Yes, that’s, ah…that’s true,” Shadowheart mumbled, unable to look directly at Karlach due to both embarrassment and the flickerings of arousal that had started to take root as soon as she got within scent range of the tiefling. “I appreciate your sympathy on the matter, Karlach. Truly. But actually,” she fidgeted, “the reason I came to you was…well…not necessarily for sympathy’s sake.”
Karlach’s brow furrowed, causing Shadowheart to think for one horrible instant that she was going to need to be utterly blunt with the tiefling. Then her eyes widened and her jaw dropped. “Oh. Oh! You want me to…” she gestured, staring down at the half-elf like she was a difficult math problem, “with you?”
Shadowheart nodded, her face now entirely beet red.
Gods, this was embarrassing!
“Fuck, Shadowheart, I’m flattered! I promise, I really am,” the cleric felt a bucket of cold water get dumped on her as Karlach rubbed the back of her neck in obvious discomfort, “Means a lot to me that you’d trust me with something like that. And I’d love to help you out, but–”
“You don’t have to apologize.” Shadowheart cut her off coldly, “If you’re not interested, I understand. Just…” she winced, “Just promise I’ll have your discretion on the matter, yes?”
“Oh no, it’s not like that!” Karlach protested, raising her hands. “You’re fuckin’ beautiful, Shadowheart, and normally I’d be happy to take care of a woman like you. But y’see, things have… changed. Recently.”
“‘Changed’? How so?” Shadowheart asked, cautiously, curiosity slightly beating out embarrassment.
“Karlach? Is everything okay?”
Both women turned toward the sound of another woman’s voice. As soon as Shadowheart identified the source, everything fell into place.
So that was her reason.
Ta’thira, their little group’s de facto leader, emerged from Karlach’s tent clad only in a decidedly barbarian-sized blanket. Shadowheart quickly noticed the very visible mating bite at the base of her neck before glancing back at Karlach to find her wearing a lovestruck grin. The picture painted wasn’t exactly open to interpretation, to say the least. Despite her own current situation, Shadowheart was happy for them. Finding love at a time like this couldn’t have been easy and yet somehow they’d managed it.
“Yeah, we’re good!” Karlach called back. “Shadowheart was just…” she glanced at the cleric, before thinking better of further elaboration, “Ugh! I can tell you later!”
Ta’thira, still wrapped in no more than a blanket, made her way over to them before her eyes went wide as she registered Shadowheart’s little ‘condition’. The Selunite was surprised as well in her own right; she’d always thought the warlock was a beta like Gale and Wyll, but there was no denying the powerful sensation of her and Karlach’s scents mixed together in perfect harmony.
They were the definition of a bonded pair.
“You have my sincere apologies for…” Shadowheart looked away, ashamed, “Quite. Had I been aware of your situation, I never would have approached her with any sort of intent. I promise I didn’t mean to-”
“It’s okay, Shadowheart. We’re the ones who have been keeping it under wraps,” Ta’thira comforted her before smiling as Karlach wrapped an arm around her. “Although I suppose this is a sign we should make the others aware of our relationship.”
“FUCK yes!” Karlach grinned. “I'm gonna make sure everyone we meet knows you’re mine.”
“Oh, Karlach…” Ta’thira replied dreamily, nuzzling against her. The normally restrained warlock was clearly losing herself in the moment, displaying much more affection than Shadowheart believed she was capable of. “You really are–”
“Okay then!” Shadowheart smiled uncomfortably, taking a few steps back. “I’ll just… take my leave, shall I? Sorry again. Happy for the both of you.”
Karlach nodded, struggling to keep her eyes off her adoring mate. Her love-drunk smile fell away in an instant as a thought occurred to her, her face dropping, “Oh! I know! Why don’t you ask Lae’zel? She’s an unbonded alpha! I bet she’d help you out.”
“Appreciate the advice, but I think not.” Shadowheart replied, with painful delicacy, “Even if I did want to, which - to be clear - I do not, she’d never agree to it. You’re both well aware that the two of us don’t exactly see eye to eye, to put it lightly.”
“Yeah, but that’s the fun of it!” Karlach laughed. “You’ve got the perfect excuse to go a little wild! Step out of your comfort zone!” she gripped her mate a little tighter, Ta’thira clinging to her side. “Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right? You just have to go for it!”
“And how are you so confident about that?” Shadowheart scowled, feeling a prickle of irritation at the back of her neck. The barbarian had always been bold, but this assumption was going way too far.
“No clue. I just know these things. It’s a gift.”
“I see,” Shadowheart replied, unimpressed.
“Anyway, whatever you decide to do, I hope you get through it okay. We’re rooting for you!” Karlach grinned and gave Shadowheart a quick fist bump. “Now I’ve gotta get back to…y’know. Stuff.”
Shadowheart nodded, fully aware of the “stuff” in question judging by the way Ta’thira was clinging to her for dear life. At least someone in the group wasn’t having trouble getting through their heat. Not to mention having some actual fun instead of dealing with the absolute agony Shadowheart was about to endure. Lucky her.
“Karlach…” Ta’thira whimpered, “Can we please…”
“I got you, baby. Let’s get back in there.” she managed a slight wave, despite her arms being around her lover’s waist, “We’ll see you later, Shadowheart.”
“Mmhmm,” Shadowheart nodded. “Congratulations again.”
Karlach smiled one last time, “Thanks, hon! Good luck out there!”
***
Shadowheart was extremely grateful to be sharing dinner with Gale and Wyll. The only two betas in their group were unfazed by the situation, allowing her to avoid the awkwardness that would inevitably have emerged if she had been sharing the space with alphas. Or at least it would have until Gale decided to open his mouth.
“So, Shadowheart…how are you holding up?”
“After abandoning Shar, you mean?”
“Ah! Yes! Of course. That’s certainly… part of what I meant, yes.” Gale stammered, caught off guard. “Along with the other things. You know.”
“No, I don’t know.” Shadowheart gave him a prickly glare, “Care to elaborate?”
“Ah…that is…um…well, I suppose that’s your business. Please forget I asked.”
“With pleasure.”
“Soooooo…” Wyll chimed in, attempting to defuse the situation. “First day in a while that we didn’t have to fight any goblins or gnolls or skeletons. Hoping you all managed to unwind a bit?”
“Why, yes, indeed!” Gale responded enthusiastically. “I finally had a chance to look over one of the tomes I found in the library of Shar and found some rather fascinating information! Did you know that–?”
“You. Give me some of that.”
Lae’zel’s voice cut through Gale’s excited rambling, sending a shiver down Shadowheart’s spine as she stepped from the shadows behind her without making a single sound. She could smell her; the scent of blood and steel, warm as a dying fire and sharp as a gnoll’s fangs. It wasn’t unpleasant per se, but it was…difficult to ignore.
Far too difficult.
Gale nodded hastily, grabbing a bowl and filling it up with stew before handing it to Lae’zel. The warrior sat down on a log between Wyll and Shadowheart, and the cleric found herself wishing that she had sat anywhere else. So much for ‘beta comfort’.
“This is good,” Lae’zel spoke matter-of-factly after taking a taste. “Your cooking is acceptable, wizard.”
“Ah! Appreciated. Duly.” Gale replied, his voice a bit stilted.
Lae’zel nodded and leaned down to sniff the stew in an attempt to discern the ingredients. As soon as she inhaled, her eyes opened wider and Shadowheart realized immediately that it wasn’t the scent of the stew that had surprised her. She felt her heart rise up into her throat as she felt herself draw the gith’s attention.
This was bad. This was very bad indeed.
“Sharite.”
“Don’t call me that anymore.” Shadowheart murmured, the defiance managing to push through the fear.
“Ah. Yes. You have left that life well behind you,” Lae’zel replied with a slightly apologetic tone that stunned everyone present. “In that case,” she turned to look at the Selunite, “Shadowheart.”
“What?” Shadowheart asked nervously, trying to ignore the chill she felt when Lae’zel said her name. The tingle between her legs made that much more difficult than it should have been. “Something the matter?”
“Not with me. But you…” Lae’zel’s voice lowered, “You are going into heat. It will begin to affect you by tomorrow at the latest. I can smell it.”
Shadowheart groaned, managing to overwrite her anxiety with irritation, “Well, thank you so much for stating the bloody obvious, gith!” she growled, “Really, I hadn’t even noticed!”
“How could you not notice? It is your own body we are talking about.”
Shadowheart glanced over at Wyll. “I’m guessing your attempts to teach her sarcasm haven’t been going well.”
“Not especially, no.”
“Great.”
“Look at me, Shari–Shadowheart,” Lae’zel commanded, “I must examine you.”
“Why?” Shadowheart shot back, snappishly, but still turned to face her, despite herself, “Trying to find new ways to insult me, perhaps?”
“No. I wish to be aware of how far your symptoms have progressed.”
Lae’zel narrowed her eyes and stared at Shadowheart with an intensity that made the cleric tremble slightly. She couldn’t tell if the gith’s scent was growing more intense by the moment or if she was simply becoming more and more aware of it. Either way, it was… overwhelming.
Wyll and Gale ignored the two of them as best they could, attempting small talk while finishing their meals as fast as possible so they could escape the awkward situation. Shadowheart wished she could join them, but something compelled her to sit still and let Lae’zel finish her examination. It was probably just a desire to avoid having to deal with the other woman hounding her all night. She squirmed in her seat, desperately fighting the urge to look away from her penetrative stare.
“Your cheeks are flushed. Is that a sign of arousal?” Lae’zel asked with clinical detachment. “Or are you embarrassed by my willingness to assist you?”
“Assist me? What are you talking about?” Shadowheart tried to recoil away, but her body just wouldn’t let her, “All you’re doing is staring at me like I’m a juicy meal or something! How long do I have to indulge your obsession?”
“So you are embarrassed, then.”
“Hardly!” Shadowheart lied.
Lae’zel nodded. “Your pupils are more dilated than they should be. Your breathing has grown heavy. Apart from your cheeks, your skin looks more pale. I believe that your symptoms will fully present themselves by tomorrow afternoon.”
Great. That was just perfect. Jaheira had been her last hope, but she wouldn’t be returning from her expedition with the Harpers for at least three days. And Halsin was…well, Halsin. The idea of sleeping with him just felt… wrong. Not because of any personal issues, of course; the relationship between them just didn’t allow for any sort of intimate contact without creating an awkward environment for the rest of their journey. He was like family to her. It just wouldn’t work.
“Very well, then.” Lae’zel spoke, leaning away, “I will alleviate your symptoms, Shadowheart.”
“ WHAT? ”
“Your heat will be debilitating if untreated, and we will not be able to progress efficiently without you. If we are to maintain our effective strength, your symptoms will need to be mitigated.”
That was probably the nicest thing Lae’zel had ever said to her. Coming from anyone else, it could almost be mistaken for kindness. But from Lae’zel it was infuriating.. Damned gith! How could she say something like that with a straight face?
“I don’t need your help,” Shadowheart grumbled, finally tearing her gaze away from the other woman. “I can handle it myself.”
“Chk! Do not be foolish! You have taken your former goddess’s protection for granted this entire time. As such, I doubt you have the experience necessary to endure the pain of a heat cycle on your own,” Lae’zel growled. “Believe me, this is not an easy decision for me to make. Were there any other path, I would gladly take it. You have not earned the right to my embrace by your own merit, and instead you have done so through pity and weakness. That I must lower myself to satisfying a needy little istik like you is unbecoming of a warrior of my standing.”
“Well, aren’t we generous?” Shadowheart snapped. “What do you mean I haven’t ‘earned the right?’ Am I supposed to be impressed by your oh-so-selfless offer? Do you want me to be honored by your arrogant posturing? Listen to yourself! Have you considered that you might be the desperate one here?”
“Absolutely not. I am simply stating the obvious. I would not bed an inferior woman like you unless it was absolutely necessary. Do not mistake my willingness for genuine attraction,” Lae’zel continued, unbothered by Shadowheart’s insults. “I do not want you to form any undue expectations regarding my assistance. This is for your benefit. You should, in fact, be grateful for my assistance.”
“Go to Hell, gith.”
“Fine!” Lae’zel spat, “If you are not ready to accept my mercy, then I will leave you to your suffering, istik ! But if you slow us down…” her voice dropped to a low growl, “I will personally ensure that you are left behind.”