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Nils boarded the plane feeling worn down the game yesterday was hard fought and they barely managed to tip in the last goal for the win against the Rangers.
He had hardly been awake on the bus ride back to the hotel last night dragging behind his teammates in exhaustion. He readied for bed and climbed under the plush white comforter and despite the cloud of a mattress he was laying on he couldn’t get to sleep. He tossed and turned wrapping his arms around an extra pillow seeking comfort. But as the night passed sleep eluded him.
Now he trudged onto the plane tired and a bit shaky along with a killer headache as his body ached from over exertion. But the Stars had some pretty nice accommodations so Nils was able to curl up in a plush seat on the Stars’ private plane. A window seat about mid plane had been his go to spot since he’d been traded to the stars two months ago.
The Stars were a nice enough team certainly friendlier than the Rangers had been but they hadn’t bonded with him. It was common in sports for kids to start forming pack bonds with their teams once they were around 16 years old. Nils had happily formed bonds with his teams over the years and when the Rangers drafted him he’d expected to bond with them or their AHL team.
But The team seemed to resent his draft thought him better than he really was or something as they always seemed disappointed in him and his performance. The guys had refused to bond saying he had to earn it. Obviously he never did and here he was leaving New York for Dallas once again just as bond-less as last time.
Of course Nils had his family bond but they were so far away with such a drastic time difference it was hard to make time to talk with them. He was in Texas, in the US, alone and currently the only Swedish player on the team. (though he’d probably get along fine with the Fins) But as nice as the Stars had been they simply haven’t mentioned bonding at all. No taunts or demands to prove his worth to the team, no harassment or abuse. They just ignored the topic all together.
Nils tucked his blanket around himself he found the plane quite cold today and curled up tighter in his seat despite the space he had. He very rarely had someone sit next to him on the plane. In fact he very rarely had a teammate around as it is. On the ice the Stars were great teammates encouraging and helpful they communicated well and always had praise to pass around, but off the ice Nils has been given a wide berth.
In fact the only contact he’d had outside of on ice celebrations and taps to his helmet was when The Captain first welcomed him to the team. Jamie Benn had greeted him happily in the locker room the first time he’d shown up for practice but on his final “Welcome to the team” he’d clapped Nils on the shoulder a large hand radiating warmth that was easily felt through Nils’ Tshirt and had cause Nils to flinch.
HARD
Jamie’s thumb rough with a callus had briefly brushed the skin of Nils’ neck and it sent a bolt through him something warm and overwhelming and he’d jolted. Jamie had pause pulling his hand back assessing him and Nils stared up at him wide eyes. But then he smiled and nodded and carried on and there’s been nothing since.
Nils’ head throbbed and he bit back a whine as he closed his eyes and fought for sleep. His mind wouldn’t settle though his thoughts swirled with what if’s. Was something wrong with him? What had he done wrong? Was he not worth a bond? Was he just going to be traded again when he couldn’t bond here either?
Eventually exhaustion won and as the plane reached altitude and started the journey home Nils drifted off.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jamie stood and stretched they had played a couple rounds of cards and after a miserable round he’d called it quits. He figured he’d do his Captainly duty and make rounds to check on his team.
It wasn’t till he was making his way back down the aisle to the card game that he heard a whimper. Jamie glanced around before settling on the lump that was Nils Lundkvist curled up in a bundle of blankets.
He watched for a moment moving closer as he noticed the violent shivering. Nils whined in his sleep he teeth chattering. Immediately concerned Jamie slipped into the row of seats and sat next to the younger man. Nils was making pathetic little noises; whimpers and whines like a sick puppy and Jamie’s heart clenched for the boy. Had he played while sick? He reached out and rested his palm on Nils’ forehead expecting a fever but with met with freezing cold skin.
Nils jolted awake at the contact with a pained groan batting the hand away he slurred something, maybe in Swedish? When his hand brushed Jamie’s again he flinched with a pained sob burrowing back into his blankets away from Jamie.
“No hurts” Nils mumbled over and over he was teary eyed and shaking looking at Jamie with the same wide scared eyes from when they’d first met.
As much as Tyler liked to rag on Jamie for being unobservant he would never miss the signs of something so serious especially as things started to click for him.
“Have you bonded with anyone on the team yet?” Jamie asked and was met with a small shake of the head
“Did you ever bond with the Rangers?” Jamie questioned but was met with a sob and shake of the head again. Jamie instinctively went to reach for Nils to comfort him but stopped short as he flinched away again.
Right being touched hurts. Being touch starved hurts. He had touch starved this kid, his new teammate his responsibility and hadn’t even noticed till it was too late the kid was in pain.
“It’s gonna be okay Nils I’m going to fix this okay you just wait here for a bit okay” Jamie told Nils and he waited till Nils nodded in confirmation before rushing off.
He made his way to the back of the plane and smacked his hands down onto the card playing table that most of the guy were gathered at. The chatter dyed off as they looked over too him.
“Listen up we’ve got a serious problem I need every pillow, blanket, hoodie or whatever gathered up immediately and brought over here and I need the table cleared and put away now!” Jamie instructed
The guys started talking over one another as they got up to gather the requested items. Most of the younger guys moving back to their seats to gather soft belongings.
“Are we building a nest?” Miro murmured probably not directly to question Jamie likely meant for one of the other Fins but he was heard anyways. There was hushed Finnish from where the group of fins was already curled up together as Pavelski looked to Jamie.
“Yes are we building a nest and if so why so urgently on the the plane of all places?” Joe asked
“It’s Nils he’s sick” Jamie explained
“Nils?” Jani asked concerned
“What’s happened to Nils?” Esa exclaimed moving to get up
“I think he’s touched starved” Jamie continues
“Apparently he didn’t bond with the rangers and I thought I’d let him form a couple individual bonds before the whole pack so he’d be more comfortable but apparently that hasn’t happened at all and now he’s violently cold and in pain and we’ve got to fix this immediately before it gets any worse” Jamie rushed out maybe a bit panicked
“Woah Chubs woah just breathe okay we’re gonna do everything we can to fix this it’s a team problem it’s not just on you” Tyler reached out to grip Jamie’s arm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The nest was a bit haphazard and messy but it smelt of pack and had enough fuzzy blankets that it would have to do.
Jamie moved back down the aisle to Nils. The boy was shivering and half awake when he got back to his row.
“I know you don’t feel great but if you trust me we can get you feeling better in no time” Jamie tried to reassure him a soft smile on his face
Nils looked at him questionably like he was unsure if he could really trust Jamie which ate away at his heart but he stood strong he smiled again and held out his hand to Nils to help him up. And after a few seconds Nils accepted and let himself be pulled to his feet. Even the minimal contact had Nils whining and yanking his hand back wrapping his arms around himself blanket gripped tight.
Jamie lead him slowly to the back of the plane ready at any second to grab him should he fall as he shivered and swayed as he walked. As they made it the the back parlor of the plane he stopped letting Nils come up next to him. Therewas a couple things said in either Finnish or Swedish as both Esa and Jani spoke Jamie knew parts of Finland spoke Swedish and that Esa had learned more from Klingberg when he was with the team.
Nils hummed at that but just blinked sluggishly looking even worse now that he’d been standing but he started to look around the back area. Just as Jamie had instructed the whole team filled the back of the plane the very back rows of seats were all filled and the fins and the teams more main core were settled in the lounge area surrounding the nest. It was obvious when Nils finally noticed the nest as his tired eyes widened a small whine escaping him as he turned to look up at Jamie with wide eyes.
“I know you don’t feel so great so I thought maybe a pack nest might help you feel more comfortable” Jamie explained gesturing to the pallet of stuff on the floor.
“Pack?” Nils asked in a barley there whisper
And with a nodded of conformation from Jamie Nils staggered forward and tumbled into the nest. He sighed contently as he burrowed into the loose top layers of blankets a whine and then a chirp escaped Nils as he tugged a soft hoodie towards his face. He balled it up and hugged it to his chest breathing it in.
Jamie felt the tension leaking out of him as he watched Nils settle into the nest. The shivering had dyed down and only soft happy chirps were heard instead of the pained whines and whimpers.
“I know touch hurts right now Nils so just let us now if you need anything or if that changes alright” Jamie told him as he settled into a seat near the nest letting Tyler curl up next to him. He could feel the bond thrum with worry but he tried to push reassurance through. He was the leader and it was his responsibility it keep the pack calm and settled.
Jamie didn’t say anything when the group of fins moved the lay draped together on the floor in front of the nest almost protectively. He nodded to Esa when he caught his eye in understanding pulling Tyler closer to his side and Esa wrapped around Kivi and reached out to have hands on his other boys.
The happy chirps quieted as the comforting scents of pack relaxed Nils and his soft breathy snores left the nest allowing Jamie to breathe a bit easier for now.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The team had been worried about Nils most of the guys knew of the seriousness of touch starvation but most people hadn’t witnessed it. More common in abused children who’s parents neglected them through early childhood it was much more rare to see in adults especially athletes that relied on bonds to strengthen their teams.
All made worse by the fact that Nils was Swedish, Europe was much more open to bonds than North America it was common for lesser bonds to be formed among individuals, larger extended family, and even coworkers in addition to their primary pack. Once Nils was feeling better they’d have to have a serious conversation; did he even have anyone he was bonded with in the states?
After about an hour Nips was still sleeping contently and most of the pack had settled down a few hushed whispers here and there but overall quiet most had decided to nap or watch movies together, it wasn’t uncommon to find groups of them cuddled together sitting in each others laps or leaning on one another.
The Fins were still wrapped together at the opening of the nest talking quietly amongst themselves as Roope fiddled with Kivi’s hair and Miro sprawled across them showing them thins in his phone. Esa and Jani being the elders over their little group had a tendency to bracket the youngers typically playing “big spoon” in their little cuddle puddles. Today they seemed more rigid they hadn’t relaxed like the others keeping a watchful eye on the nest like they were guarding if from intruders. Jani even sat up fully once he noticed Jamie drifting off to sleep with Tyler in his lap on the other side of the lounge. He kept a watchful eye on Nils cataloguing every twitch the young boy made.
Which is why when Nils started to toss and turn Jani was close by watching like a hawk. The small blonde started to whimper and cry in his sleep till his eyes fluttered open wet and teary he groaned and curled up tighter. Jani tried to hush him whisper sweet things in Finnish in the hopes of calming him. He switches to Swedish or the bits he knew but Nils’ cries got worse.
“Det gör ont”
“Snälla, hjälp det gör ont” Nils was murmuring over and over arms wrapped tightly around himself as he cried
Jani reached out and grasped a socked foot peaking out from the blanket giving a gentle squeeze. Nils rolled over a bit to see who it was and blinked at Jani from behind the Hoodie he was hiding in. (The number 2 was visible on one of the sleeves)
“Let me help pupu” Jani said more instruction than a question but he waited till Nils nodded before climbing into the nest with him
Both were shoeless dressed casually in joggers Nils had on a hoodie but Jani had just his Tshirt as Nils had been happily cuddling his hoodie. Knowing touching bare skin would be overwhelming at first Jani tried to avoid it bundling the shivering boy up before pulling him into his lap Nils back to Jani’s chest. He held him tightly hoping a bit of pressure would help ease his pain. One hand rubbing at nils’ hip as the boy leaned back against him. He was still hiccuping little sobs eyes red as he shook.
“Let me touch you” Jani whispered but Nils shook his head
“Det gör ont” Nils told him again Jani was pretty sure he was telling him it hurt.
“It hurts either way pupu just be strong let me try” Jani encouraged stroking the boy’s sides.
Eventually after some hiccuped gasps trying to calm himself Nils gave Jani the okay. He started slow brushing his hand over Nils’ hair with every pass letting his fingers drag more till they were combing through his hair brushing along Nils’ scalp. The young blonde whined and gasped flinching away at the first touch. His skin tingled and burned like when too cold hands grasp a warm mug pleasant but painful. He would lean into the touch momentarily before shifting away again. Repeating the process for a few minutes and as Nils excepted the touch he let his hand move down to the back of his neck stroking softly letting his thumb brush against Nils’ pulse point.
Nils hiccuped and gasped but this sounded less like discomfort than before and in another few minutes Nils was sagging back against Jani. It wasn’t long before Nils was whining again this time almost desperately as he squirmed in Jani’s lap. He helped the boy untangle himself from his blanket and the hoodie he’d be clutching unsure what the boy wanted. As soon as he was free and was turning around straddling Jani’s large thighs throwing his arms around his neck and burrowing his face into the join of Jani’s neck and shoulder, and once Jani had his arms secured around the the small boy again he felt Nils relax again.
“There pupu it’s alright I’ve got you” Jani whispered stroking one hand up the boys back and the other through his blond locks
He felt the tickle of Nils lashes on his neck he hummed softly unable to help himself as he unconsciously began to rock the boy. He nuzzled the side of Nils’ neck and the boy giggled sweetly.
“Tickles” he told him bringing is hand to brush at Jani’s beard. His voice was so soft he wasn’t whispering just naturally quiet. If Jani hadn’t seen Nils on the ice before he’d describe him as delicate. He was small soft spoke a little bunny nose with light eyes and long lashed as he blinked up at Jani he couldn’t help but smile at the boy.
“Hey why do you get him all to yourself” someone called swatting at Jani’s feet. He didn’t even need to look to know the indignant tone was Roope. He glanced up to find the rest of the Fins waiting at the entrance to the nest watching them closely.
“Yes we cuddle too!” Kivi exclaimed nodding eyes stern as he gestured to himself and Roope and Miro on either side of him both boy’s nodding in agreement.
Jani turned to look at Esa who was giving him a knowing look as he watched Jani nuzzle Nils holding him almost possessively.
“Share your little HaniBani we all want to help” Esa told him
So Jani jostled Nils a little wanting his approval before letting more people in the nest. Nils looked up at him questioningly before glancing over at the other fins. Roope had always been a bit scary with his resting bitch face and Miro stuck close to his side and wasn’t much of a talker so they were a bit intimidating but Kivi always seemed nice and bubbly and Esa was more mature and kept the group grounded. The group of fins had never been mean or unwelcoming to Nils and here Hakanpää was holding him in his lap like he should be cherished.
With a sigh Nils nodded looking at them and watched as the three younger men scrambled into the nest with them. Esa laugh at them as he crawled in with them. In moments his position had changed; Cuddled between Esa and Kivi, Jani curled around Joel and Roope and Miro were cuddled together draped over the groups legs.
Nils finally felt warm no more shivering or chattering teeth and his skin tingled in a familiar way. Not with pain or discomfort but with the beginnings of a bond. He sighed happily tucking himself under Esa’s chin while Kivi tuck his chin over Nils shoulder pressing a kiss to Nils cheek causing him to flush and Esa huffed a laugh at the both of them.
This felt so right he’d longed to be held for months now he’d felt misplaced and abandoned since he joined the Rangers and maybe he’d subconsciously been avoiding the the idea of bonding with the stars anticipating rejection. But here he was cuddled up with part of his team in a nest the team built just for him surrounded and protected by the rest of his pack.
He peaked up and looked around the lounge of the plane and finally settled on his Captain Jamie was watching them with a soft smile and tired eyes. Nils smiled back before burrowing down into the warmth radiating from Esa with a content sigh.
He could already feel the strings of the bond reaching out tickling at him from the rest of the team and knew he was no longer alone.