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It was not an uncommon occurrence for Ranboo to be awake in the dead of night. There was something about the darkness that comforted them and something in the stillness of the air they relished in. Ranboo wasn't sure if this was a habit they picked up at Showfall or if it was something entirely new.
It's not that Ranboo couldn't sleep, it's just that they didn't want to. It had only been a few months since they and Charlie had escaped Showfall, and there was too much for Ranboo to do. Ranboo had a lot to catch up on, a lot they wanted to learn, so much they wanted to do. So why waste time sleeping?
Ranboo would spend their nights watching every classic movie, listening to music of every genre to find out which ones they liked, playing as many video games as possible, and just living. Sometimes, Ranboo’s head swarmed with too many thoughts and they didn't need anything but their mind to entertain themselves. Ranboo enjoyed this routine, they enjoyed the small moments that made them feel alive, they liked learning what it's like to be human.
Plus, Ranboo thought it was good to have at least one person in the house awake at all times. It was good to have somebody to keep watch, to remain vigilant. Just in case.
Ranboo was doing nothing special in particular when their night was interrupted by some horrible sound. They were sure it wasn't their imagination or another flashback when Ranboo realized what it was. It was a sound all too familiar to them - Charlie screaming.
Charlie screaming as Ranboo’s trembling hands dig further into the gaping hole that is his body cavity. Charlie screaming as the monster drags him down, claws sinking into his shoulders and wires setting a fire underneath his skin. Charlie screaming as he sees Ranboo sewn into the control rooms walls by electrical wire, body bloody and bruised, as the timer next to him nears zero.
Ranboo broke into a sprint.
—
It was not an uncommon occurrence for Charlie to have nightmares. He should be used to them by now, but they never seem to get easier. He wasn't really sure if they were actually nightmares - he thought some were forgotten memories coming to fruition. Charlie was better off not knowing the difference.
Charlie couldn't remember what he was dreaming about tonight, he just knew that it hurt. He felt hands moving inside of him, pushing and pulling at his innards. The hands kept reaching in, deeper and deeper, searching for something Charlie could not give. He felt the blood and viscera coating his body, a feeling he just could not shake. He felt the bile rising up in his throat, he just wanted to get it off, get himself out - he just wanted it to stop, just wanted it to be over, he didn't want to hurt anymore he just wanted -
Ranboo burst through his bedroom door.
His gaze met Ranboos, eyes wide and iced over with fear. He’s seen that look before, he knows it all too well. He’s looking Ranboo in the eye and it happens all over again. He’s back there.
He’s back in the control room, face to face with Ranboo - Ranboo who doesn’t seem to recognize the man in front of him. Ranboo who’s voice is hoarse from screaming but won’t stop, can’t stop, because it all happened so quickly. They were about to die, they were ready to die, and now they’re staring at the convulsing figure of Hetch on the ground. They’re staring at Sneeg, hands holding the knife he had just torn a knife out of his captors throat, shaking as he uses the weapon to cut into the wires going through their palm. They’re staring at Charlie, whose hands are gripping their shoulders and who’s saying something Ranboo can’t hear over the sound of their own sobs.
Charlie is looking into Ranboos eyes, wild and frenzied and spilling hot tears all over their face, singeing their skin as they make contact with that damn mask. Ranboo is looking back at their friend who they thought was dead, who wasn’t supposed to be alive, but is now their only tether to the waking world. They are looking into each other's eyes when Sneeg cuts the last wire around Ranboos waist and the boy collapses into Charlie’s arms. Only then does Charlie look away, mouthing a silent “thank you” to Sneeg.
But Charlie isn’t back there now. Charlie is in his bed, hunched over on himself, having been woken up by something that felt way too real, way too painful, to have just been a bad dream. He takes a minute to process this realization, being brought back to the present by his own hands clawing at his stomach, searching for an incision Charlie swore was there. He’s staring at Ranboo who stands frozen in the doorway because of him, because of how much Charlie is probably freaking them out right now. Charlie turns over and shoves his face into his pillow in shame.
He hears Ranboo’s footsteps approaching him and he curls in on himself further. He feels Ranboo sit down on his bed, his screaming now ugly sobs.
“Oh Charlie” Ranboo sighs, “I’m so sorry.”
Charlie feels Ranboo’s hand on his back, softly rubbing circles into it. The tension in his body leaves with the motion, as if Ranboos touch were the antidote to all his ills. His stomach still feels as if it were being torn open and his sobs and spasms still racked his body, but Ranboo was there. That would be enough. That would have to be enough for now.
They sat like that for a while, Charlie shaking and heaving, until some of the pain let up and he was brave enough to turn his face away from his now tear-stained pillow. He looked at Ranboo, expecting to see the same look of icy fear in their eyes, but instead saw warmth. There was only fondness there, with a look of concern resting upon their furrowed brow.
“Hi”, Ranboo smiled softly, relief weighing down on their shoulders. “You okay there bud?”
Charlie nodded as he shifted his body to lay on his side. He sniffled, “sorry I woke you.”
Ranboo shrugged their shoulders, “I was awake anyways.” They patted Charlie’s shoulder, “no biggie.”
“What time is it?” Charlie said weakly.
“Like four-ish”
“Ranboo!” Charlie used one hand to prop his body up, the other still gripping his stomach, “you need to go to sle - ACK“
He was cut off by a stabbing pain in his stomach, making his body go rigid. A spasm went through Charlie’s body causing him to fall forward into Ranboo’s hold. Charlie’s forehead hit Ranboo’s collarbone and he stayed there.
Tears pricked at the sides of his eyes as another pain flared in his chest. His grip on Ranboos’ arms tightened, because goddammit it hurt. He was sucking in air through gritted teeth, fighting through another wave of pain. Ranboo just held him, resting his head on top of his friends’ until Charlie started to shake - no - Charlie had started to laugh.
It was barely noticeable at first, a weak, fragile thing, before growing panicked and hysterical. Charlie threw his head back in the effort, releasing his grip on Ranboo and letting his wrists fall into their hands.
“What the HELL man,” Charlie cried with a scream that shattered Ranboo’s very core, “it HURTS, why does it hurt!”
“I-I-I don’t know!” Ranboo’s stuttered, voice raising as it grew fraught with worry.
“Ranboo, Ranboo, please, make it stop, make it stop!” And Charlie swore he could see Ranboo’s heart break in front of him. They immediately rushed forward and brought the boy into an impossibly tight embrace.
“S’okay Charlie, s’okay,” Ranboo whispered reassurances, both to Charlie and to themselves. “Gonna be okay, it’ll pass,” and Charlie bit back another sob into Ranboo’s shoulder.
He hated this, he hated feeling like this. All Charlie ever wanted was to leave all of these memories behind, to leave all of the hurt behind, to cast the past aside and build a home for himself and Ranboo here. But how could he move on when he felt like this - hands shaking and body aching under the weight of every death he was forced to endure, and every death he was forced to watch, for Showfall’s own profit?
“One day this’ll all be over”, he thought to himself. One day these memories won’t haunt him anymore, surely, this had to be true. All of the nightmares and panic attacks and phantom pains would cease, because they had to, right? Charlie wondered if this was true, if it would ever be truly over - if he would ever be truly free.
The two just sat there for a moment, Charlie’s staggered breathing filling the room. Ranboo waited until their friend calmed down a bit before letting him go.
Charlie sat up and let his head hang back down, breathing heavily and staring at the bedsheets as his tears fell upon them. “God this sucks,” he breathed.
He looked up at Ranboo, whose face had softened. They took Charlie’s hands, rubbing them slowly with their thumbs, “I know man, I know.”
Charlie exhaled a small laugh, looked up at Ranboo and smiled. He distantly thought to himself, that there was nothing there to smile about in his situation. That all of this was just some unfortunate tragedy, no silver lining to it. But Charlie pushed this thought aside, because he was looking at Ranboo. He was looking at Ranboo’s big eyes, spilling over with emotion, emotion that was because of him. Emotion that was for him. He was looking at Ranboo, who was sitting in front of him, who was alive and who loved him. So Charlie smiled. Something was spilling over in his chest too.
“May I?” Ranboo then gestured to the hem of Charlie’s t-shirt. Charlie nodded and moved his hands away.
Ranboo carefully raised Charlie’s shirt up to expose his stomach. It was littered in electrical burn scars and there were scratches down his side from when Showfall’s monster attacked him, but, as Ranboo expected, there was no surgical incision.
Ranboo slapped Charlie’s stomach lightly, “See? You’re all good, it's not real. All your organs are definitely in ya.” Ranboo let the shirt fall back down as Charlie threw his body onto his pillow, “Still fuck-“ he gasps through another bought of pain “-ing hurts though.”
“Alright then,” Ranboo said rather matter-of-factly. They gestured with one hand while using the other to lift up the comforter, “scoot,” and Charlie did.
Ranboo made their way under the covers, and wrapped their lanky body around Charlie’s prone form. Charlie closed his eyes, fighting through another jolt of pain and the spasm that came with it, and almost on instinct, Ranboo forced their hand into his.
Charlie grabbed it back, these hands now being his only tether to the waking world. He held on tight, as if Ranboo could slip away at any given moment. As if this was all just another “show” and his memories would be stolen from him in any second. As if he let go, he would find himself cut open on the operating table, or bleeding out on the mall floor, or back in the cabin, or, or -
Ranboo squeezed Charlie’s hand back.
Charlie let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.
God, how much Charlie loved them.
Ranboo’s face was pressed into his back, and Charlie could hear the vibrations of their words as they spoke, “You’re safe, it’s not real, it’s over now. I got you.” They repeated it, over and over again, a lullaby as Charlie’s pain slowly subsided.
He came back to his senses, slowly taking in his surroundings. Several plastic bats hanging from his ceiling were swaying slowly while the fan on his bed stand buzzed. His bed was lined with countless plushies that all seemed to blend together, illuminated partially by the glow coming through his bedroom door. Charlie was too warm, too cozy under his blankets with Ranboo to get up and brave the cold air to close it. Charlie sank deeper into Ranboo’s hold, savoring the moment.
“Ranboo?” Charlie spoke after a while. Ranboo lifted their head up to listen, “does it get easier?”
The universe that was Charlie’s bedroom stilled.
“mm, I think so,” they hummed. “But until then, I’m here”
“For how long?”
“For as long as you’ll have me”
“Really?”
“Yeah Charlie, of course.”
Charlie didn’t realize he was crying again until he tasted salt on his lips. He didn’t know why he was crying, he wished he knew how to cry about one thing at a time, but that wouldn’t make a difference. He was still crying.
Ranboo pulled Charlie in tighter.
And if Charlie felt Ranboo’s tears bleed through the back of t-shirt, he didn’t say anything.
“I love you,” Charlie croaked out, because he did.
“I love you too, Charlie,” Ranboo replied, because they did too.
And they just held each other, and cried. Cried over nothing in particular, and over everything, everything, they could think of. Every part of them they’ve lost, every moment they could never get back, every childhood they could never experience, every life they’ve had to live - they cried for it. They cried until every ounce of energy in their small bodies had run out, until the two of them were left breathlessly laughing because they were here in the first place. Neither of them should have made it this far, but here they were, laughing in defiance of it all.
They were safe now, they were warm. They were celestial dust in human bodies, capable of making it through this, capable of making it out alive.
“You can rest now,” Ranboo whispered, “you can rest.” And the two remained wrapped around each other until the morning, when the sun’s rays danced upon their noses and the day was anew.
And the room was filled with love, only love.