Work Text:
Summer 2017
"And I go like, Oh God, I love him so much."
"You love him that much, huh??"
At that exact moment, I found out that it was pretty clear that Sunghoon's happiness was from Jake. It hurt much more than I had expected. I knew Sunghoon loved Jake, but the way his eyes just lit up even with only the mention of Jake, I knew I had made the biggest mistake in my life. You might have guessed it right. I love Park Sunghoon, my best friend of twelve freaking years. This Park Jeongsong is just a coward and a loser.
Summer 2019
I might have been a little bit slow in the love and relationship area, because honestly I haven't really thought about it. Until Sunghoon brought it up. As you see, it's always Sunghoon. Yup, the one and only Park Sunghoon.
"Not even a crush?"
Sunghoon was being too pushy with his weird questions. He'd been asking me about the person that I liked. I meant, I really didn't have one.
"Nope. Not even a crush."
"Eiiiii.. You're just being so secretive."
"But I'm not. You know me. I don't like anyone, not like romantically."
"Hmmmm.. Okay. But when you do, you'll have to tell me first."
"Of course."
That, Jay realized, was a stupid lie. Because two years ago he found out and bitterly accepted that he had hopelessly fallen in love with his very best friend, Park Sunghoon. That very barely contained feeling was still pretty much there. Now how in the heaven could he ever tell him that?? Not when the said best friend was currently dating their senior, Lee Heeseung. Jay would rather strangle himself to death.
Luckily, Jay never had to do that. But what he actually did was he did strangle Heeseung, not to death though much to Jay's dismay. When Jay found out that Heeseung had been cheating on Sunghoon, it didn't take much in him to just grab Heeseung and strangle him. That earned him the first place to the campus bulletin board. So yeah..
Sunghoon was weirdly happy, too happy for someone who had just been cheated on by his now ex-boyfriend. He looked at Jay, grinning.
"You're the hot best friend now."
And he has the audacity to freaking laugh. God! Jay loves him, so much. So, like a fool, he is swooning over how attractive Sunghoon is.
"You didn't have to do that, you know."
"What? Punched that bastard?? I should've just killed him."
"You told me so many times that he was a bad idea."
"Because he is.. It's okay, now you know.. And please please please learn from this, if not the few past ones, Sunghoon-ahh.."
Little did Sunghoon know, Jay was hoping in his heart that he would just stop dating any other guy and be with him instead. It was a thought that even Jay was too scared to succumb to. But he wouldn't lie that it was the very thought that Sunghoon was with him, happy and his Sunghoon, that got him through his very hard time, when the real world wasn't so kind. As long as I can be with you, Sunghoon-ahh, I don't mind being this coward.
Summer 2021
"You gotta be freaking kidding me."
Jay was about to literally throw up when he saw the blush on Jungwon's face and there was Park Sunghoon, holding his hand, Jungwon's hand and a stupid grin on his face.
"Now if you'll excuse us, Mr. Best friend.. I have a date with my boyfriend."
Jay scoffed. Because Park Sunghoon and Yang Jungwon just do NOT make sense. They aren't even that close. Except for the few times Sunghoon mentioned that Jungwon is cute, they haven't even hangout that much. How did this happen?? What did Jay miss?? Jay has always been there. Or has he?? Guess I'm still a loser.
Summer 2022
Kim freaking Sunoo just never learnt. Jay had even gone out of his way to give him a talk. That he shouldn't be bothering Sunghoon. But still, Sunoo was here, acting all cute and annoying.. How Sunghoon even stand him, Jay just didn't get it. How did Sunoo even get to date Sunghoon?? Is there an alternate universe where I actually get to date Sunghoon too? Where I'm not just his best friend? I don't think I can just be his best friend anymore. But at the end of the day, that's all that I am.
Summer 2023
The thing about Park Sunghoon is, he always forgives AND forgets. He forgives even the worst person. That would be the only explanation why he is still friends with Lee Heeseung, that bastard who had cheated on him. I don't understand. With his other exes like Jake and Jungwon, even Sunoo, Jay might have just let it pass, but Heeseung? No way! Even just the sight of his stupid face angers me. I wanna just rip his eyes out!
"Jay-ahhh..."
I hate how Sunghoon affects me. I truly do. I don't even know how or since when does all this happen. Maybe after that one time that Sunghoon had to stay in bed after his accident. He broke his leg and I had to stay with him for a whole week because all he wanted to was to order me around. Always going "Jay-ahhh.. Jay-ahhh..." At first I thought he really needed help. Later I found out that he was just playing with me, that brat.
"What's his business?" I asked Sunghoon as if Heeseung wasn't here.
"He wanted me to help his brother."
"Step brother."
"And you said yes?"
"There's nothing to lose. I might learn some Japanese. Also, I'm really good in Korean."
Jay scoffed.
It turns out that Heeseung's step brother, Niki, was a brat. He follows Sunghoon around like a puppy, also he glares at everyone who just even as much looks at Sunghoon. That's a good thing that he keeps everyone away from Sunghoon, but he sticks to Sunghoon like a freaking leech. It also doesn't help he seems to hate me much more than others. What a brat!
"Sunghoon-hyung is mine."
"Excuse me??"
"We're married."
"EXCUSE ME?!!"
"Please leave us alone."
"That's my line!"
That's how Niki stole Sunghoon from Jay. Jay knew they weren't serious but Niki was seriously annoying. He annoyed Jay every single time they met. The most annoying thing was that, Sunghoon found him cute. There was literally nothing cute about that devil.
Summer 2024
The graduation was near and Jay had prepared a gift for Sunghoon. What he never expected was to see Jake there, with bouquet on his hand. Jay's heart was prepared to break again, because this is Jake. He was Sunghoon's first love. He came back. But when Jay caught Sunghoon's eyes first, he had lost his thoughts. His Sunghoon was shining. That's what matters most. Even if he had to get his heart broken once more, he was okay if it meant that Sunghoon was happy.
"Jay-ahh.."
Jay was still in a dazed when he unconsciously answered the call.
"Jay-ahh.."
"Ohh Sunghoon-ahh.."
"Jake was here."
"Then why are you here?"
"Because you're here, you silly."
I couldn't stop my stupid little loser heart to beat faster at that. Sunghoon still has that much effect on me, even after everything.
"Here."
The way Sunghoon's face lit up got a stupid smile climbed up my face too.
"Thanks, Jay-ahh."
"I'm so proud of you, Hoon."
"I know. Everybody knows. Don't you have something else you would like to tell me?"
"Oh? No?? Like what?"
What could Sunghoon mean with that?? Honestly right now, all I could focus on is his side profile, how the wind softly brushes his hair. His hair is softer and black again lately. It bounces as he walks. Cute. Very cute. Very unhealthy for my dumb little heart.
"Like a confession? Maybe?"
"Huh?"
Wait, whaaatt??
"I dunno Jay, maybe it's time to tell me how you really feel?"
I really have to stop walking at that. Because what in the heaven does that mean??? The possibility of Sunghoon finding out about my feeling for him is supposedly tiny,close to zero, because... Because he isn't supposed to find out. Ever. Eveeerrr...
Sunghoon stops walking too. He still holds the protein bar bouquet that I got him. I handmade it myself last night because I know how much he loves them. He looks at me expectantly. What do you want, Sunghoon-ahh?
"Jay-ahh. Let's go grab ice cream."
"Coffee flavored?"
Sunghoon smiles again.
Fall 2024
"Yuppp"
I might have imagined it. I might have hallucinated it. Maybe this is an alien who transformed into Sunghoon? This can't be real. I'm always too afraid to imagine a universe where Sunghoon actually likes me back. Well, that's a lie. More than I could count, those nights I lay awake, I imagined Sunghoon being mine. I imagined Sunghoon saying I love you to me. How nice would that be, to hear that, to hold his hand, to softly Pat his head, to hug him close, to wake up to him, to have him as my boyfriend? But those are the dreams that I pushed far far away at the back of my mind, too scared to have them see the light.
"I love you, Jay-ahh.."
During those scenarios that I created before I slept before, when Sunghoon actually loved me back, I imagined I would hug him, kiss him, smile at him, or even hold him up. But right now that he actually, like actually for real, says that. I cried. Yuppp. Such a loser that I am. I look at Sunghoon without blinking and I feel the tears running down my face. Still, I don't wanna look away.
"Tell me you're being serious."
"I'm being 100% serious."
In this small cozy cafe that we had co-owned together since last 2 months, when we were both cleaning the tables ready to call it a day, Sunghoon just told me that he loved me. Was it because the tiramisu that I made him? Was it the vanilla latte? Was it-
"It's you. It's always been you, my one and only Park Jeongsong."
How could he still smell so good after a long day working hard? His fingers feel so soft against my cheek. I couldn't help but smile stupidly at him. Then, I pull him into a hug. Oh God, I love him so much.
"I love you so much, Park Sunghoon. Really."
"I know."