Work Text:
McDonald's cashier (2 weeks)
Helicopter mechanic (6 months)
Website designer (1999-present, contract)
Museum docent (1 year 2 months, total over time)
Professional merman (that one summer we don't talk about)
High school football assistant coach (2 years, total)
Human statue (1.5 days)
TV Commercial extra (5 years, part time)
Dog Surfing Instructor (4 months)
Priest (4 years)
Author (22 years, shh it's a secret)
Macy's store clerk (18 minutes on the floor)
Professor of apiology (4 months)
Banksy's assistant (that 1 night, it was an accident)
Pope (13 days)
Journalist (10 months, part time, sometimes still with contract)
Warned of the Swans (2 weeks)
Perfumer (2 years, received degree)
Hitter ( - )
Hacker ( - )
Grifter ( - )
Thief ( - )
Mastermind ( -death)
Mechanical/Social Engineer ( - )
Lawyer ( - )