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Sett is losing his mind.
…Okay, that might be an exaggeration, but Sett has no other explanation for the visions that flash past his eyes when he sees Aphelios.
They spend most days hanging out together, balancing on a thin line between friendship and something more that neither of them are brave enough to cross. Sett convinces himself that it's for the sake of keeping things professional for their band’s image, but that excuse sounds weak even to his own ears.
Damn his cowardice, and the lurking fear that Aphelios doesn’t feel the same…
No matter how much he thinks he knows Phel, there is always a part of his mind that tells him that he’s reading the silent boy all wrong. The exasperated eye rolls, the silent sighs, the playful smacks to the shoulder when Sett cracks a bad joke? Who is to say that Aphelios isn’t just humoring him at this point?
The calculating gazes that Alune shoots his way doesn’t help this way of thinking, but she does approve of Phel having someone to hang out with, even if Sett believes he isn’t the best candidate in her eyes. If Sett can’t be with Aphelios as something more than friends, he will always be a shoulder for Phel to cry on; metaphorically, that is. Aphelios would rather crawl in a hole and bury himself alive than let others see him weak voluntarily.
Sett sighed, shaking off his thoughts as he walked to the kitchen. Aphelios sat on a stool at the counter, nursing a cup of hot tea while scrolling through his phone. Sett checked the clock on the wall, and noticed the dark bags under Phel’s eyes.
“Hey mooncake, what’re you doing here this early?”
Aphelios tilted his head away from Sett, but the pink tint to his ears couldn’t fool anyone on how he felt about the nickname. Memories of the first time the name slipped from Sett’s lips still lingered in the back of his mind. Ezreal still swears that Aphelios is the cutest looking tomato when embarrassed…
Aphelios took a swig of his tea, massaging his neck gently.
Ah, it’s one of those days, Sett thought to himself. He gave Aphelios a sympathetic look before walking to the fridge, pulling out some smoothie bowl ingredients for himself and K’sante. He started to prep breakfast while chatting with Phel to get his mind off the pain in his throat.
“K’sante told me that he could beat me in the ring,” he scoffed. “I told him he had a death wish, isn't that right Phel? You know I could knock him flat on his ass if I need to, huh?” Sett gave a toothy grin toward Aphelios. “Maybe I’ll put some salt in his breakfast and teach him a lesson. You wouldn't tattle on me, would'ja?”
The blue haired boy gave him a tired smirk, an aborted scoff caught in his throat. His expression twisted into something ugly, a hand coming up to his neck to sooth the sharp pain. A muted cough bubbled up, and then another, and another. Aphelios tried containing the painful hiccups, taking shaky sips of his tea.
Sett moved to Aphelios’ side, rubbing his back in soothing motions. He noticed the tea Aphelios was drinking looked cold. “Ah, Phel…I can make you some more tea, yeah?”
Before Sett could move away, Aphelios shook his head, lifting his gaze to Sett’s face. Fat tears gathered in the corners of Phel’s eyes, the pain in his throat forcing his eyes to sting.
Sett’s eyes widened at the sight, and in a split second a different version of Aphelios replaced the boy in front of him. The new Aphelios was older, with white hair and an electric blue marking crossing over his right eye.
The kitchen was washed away, a large cave replacing the mundane cream-colored walls of the apartment. Aphelios’ expression was still twisted in pain, streams of tears flowing from his eyes. Sett’s stomach clenched at the sight, but the version of him in this new world whipped his head away from the crying boy. His hands clenched into fists, throat closing up around the words he was about to speak.
“...We shouldn’t speak to each other anymore, Aphelios.”
What?! Sett’s mind screamed. He couldn’t control the words coming out of his own mouth, a deep feeling of dread filling his stomach. What is happening?
“N-No…” A pitiful whisper echoed in the cave, a garbled sniffle following suit.
Sett could only watch in horror as this version of himself turned away suddenly, intent on leaving Aphelios behind.
“It’s for the best. You’re a dragon hunter, and I’m just…a dumb dragon mutt,” he turned around to face Aphelios, who stared back at him intensely, even though his bottom lip trembled. “Forget about me, Phel. Forget about us .”
With that, Sett turned his back, and walked out of the cave. As he moved towards the light at the exit, his world bleeded back into reality.
Sett rapidly blinked as he became aware of his familiar surroundings. He pushed away the overwhelming feeling of longing and regret as he watched Aphelios gaze at him in worry.
Oh, no…
“S-Sorry, where was I?” Sett scratched the back of his head, “The tea, uh, yeah- what kind of tea did you want, Aph- Phel .” He tripped over his own words, confusing himself momentarily with the version of him in the odd vision. He cringed at his slip up, trying to remember the last time he ever referred to Aphelios by his whole name.
Aphelios stood up from his seat on the stool, walking in front of Sett and reaching a hand out to feel his forehead. The aching of his throat pushed to the back of his mind, he wordlessly questioned Sett’s well-being as he jabbed a finger to the taller man’s chest.
“Ah, I’m fine, Phel. I just got really dizzy suddenly. I gotta’ stop staying up late…” He turned around to pour water in a kettle, setting it on the burner of their stove. His ear twitched as he felt Aphelios rub his back gently, turning around to see his friend's worried face before he left to sit on his stool again.
Soon enough the rest of the group joined them in the kitchen, the room becoming crowded in the morning rush.
As the day went on, Sett worried less about the vision he had, blaming it on a lack of sleep and dehydration. It was early, after all…
+++
The second time it happens, the band is celebrating the success of a new album. Yone and Alune prepared a plethora of everyone’s favorite foods, and they held a picnic outside of the city.
They all sat on a blanket in the grass while Ezreal attempted to light some fireworks without any source of fire.
“I can’t believe you forgot the matches, Yone,” Kayn teased, smiling as he watched Ezreal struggle.
Yone crossed his arms. “We can’t all be perfect, I’m afraid.”
Sett and Aphelios sat side by side, spreading all the dishes of food out on the blanket. Digging around inside the wicker picnic basket, Sett poked something squishy with his pointer finger. He pulled out a plate of dumplings and sat them down on the blanket.
“Dumplings? Huh, I don’t think I’ve ever tried ‘em. Who made these?”
Alune walked over from her spot on the hood of K’sante’s car. “I made them!” She exclaimed with a bounce in her step. She stood beside Aphelios, leaning forward slightly to look at Sett. “Me and Phel used to make mandu dumplings when we were younger, so I thought you all would like to try them.”
K’sante smiled, nodding his head in Alune’s direction. “They look delicious, you should have made more, Alune. I have a feeling they’re all going to be gone before Ezreal sets the fireworks off.”
“HUH?” Ezreal questioned from his spot away from the blanket. “WHAT’S GOING TO BE GONE?”
Kayn chuckled, shouting in Ezreal’s direction. “It’s nothing, princess. Just keep rubbing those sticks together.”
Ezreal grumbled, resuming his task. Alune laughed softly, her eyes crinkled in mirth. “Don’t worry, if you guys like them I have some extras back at the apartment. Why don’t we pass them around, Phel?” She shook Aphelios’ shoulder softly, and he hummed in agreement.
K’sante leaned forward, rubbing his hands together in anticipation. Yone’s impassive face thawed slightly, the smell of kimchi and spices making his mouth water. Kayn leaned back against a tree, feigning nonchalance as he held a hand out to hold a dumpling in his palm.
Sett was the last to have a dumpling, and they all raised their dumplings in cheers before taking their first bites. In the moment before they each took a bite, Ezreal shouted “Success!” in the space away from them as the night sky was suddenly filled with bright color.
The group cheered as they watched the fireworks rise higher and higher, and the noise faded away in Sett’s ears as the scene before him was altered.
Instead of the cityscape behind them, bright pavilions and pagodas erupted from the ground. Red lanterns waved against the strings hung between them, lighting up the world around them like a thousand flickering stars.
Sett glanced down at his body, startled as his clothes were changed from a gray sweatshirt to a dazzling red brocade, with golden pants to match. White fur ringed around the ends of his pants, as well as the long vermillion vest that trailed behind him as he sat on the silk blanket beneath them.
He began to panic, his heartbeat beating furiously in his chest as he realized that his friends weren’t in front of him. A lion head mask greeted him on his left, and an unfamiliar figure met him on his right. His breath caught as he realized that it wasn’t a stranger, but a rather imposing version of Aphelios.
His hair was still blue, but markings covered his face like the first alternate version he saw. This time, however, large horns grew from the sides of his head. They glowed a dull orange color, illuminating Aphelios’ face. A black jacket covered his shoulders, a large white scarf sitting loosely around his neck.
Stranger still was a version of Alune hovering over Aphelios. Her almost transparent body turned to face the firework show in front of them, her face full of wonder and longing. A rainbow-shaped marking curved from one eye to the other, reminiscent of the patterns along Aphelios’ eyes.
A hand on Sett’s thigh interrupted his staring, and he glanced down to the boy beside him. He felt butterflies in his stomach as he noticed the gentle smile on Aphelios’ lips. His face grew even softer as he watched Sett, a playful glint in his eye as he motioned something with his hand that Sett couldn’t understand.
“H-huh?” he questioned dumbly.
Aphelios must have found his reaction funny, because the hand on his thigh tightened slightly as Aphelios’ chest bounced in silent laughter. A hand littered in scars came up to cover his blinding smile, and for a second Sett wished he could see the smile in its entirety. He could only watch helplessly as Aphelios reached for the collar of Sett’s shirt. As Aphelios tugged with a gentle force, Sett leaned forward with blood pounding in his ears.
Aphelios leaned forward to meet Sett, lips finding purchase against Sett’s own. Just as the situation finally sunk in, Sett found himself rebounded back into the modern world. Aphelios’ touch left him suddenly, and his body violently pulled backwards, away from the Aphelios he knows (and loves) so well.
The beating of his heart didn’t drown out the worried looks of his friends and beloved.
Beloved?! Sett reprimanded. Phel isn’t yours to call beloved, you dumb mutt . His head swam as feelings that were not his began to worm their way into his mind. A dull ache settled into his chest as he looked at Aphelios, and suddenly Sett felt like this was the first time seeing Phel this way, dressed in modern clothes with no shadows of war under his eyes or markings on his face.
“Woah, Sett. What’s going on with ‘chu?” K’sante called from his left.
“Wow, he looks like shit-”
“You aren’t having a seizure from the lightshow are you-?”
“Give him some space-”
Alune stepped forward authoritatively, “Sett’s just tired from all our hard work at the studio recently. Sett, you should try the dumplings I made and drink from your water bottle.”
Sett found himself snapped back to reality, Alune’s words grounding him. He met her gaze, and found understanding in her eyes. A silent agreement flowed between them.
We’ll talk later.
And with that, the rest of the night went smoothly, filled with laughter and delicious food. If Sett noticed Aphelios’ worried glances, he didn’t say anything.
+++
The apartment was quiet, everyone going their separate ways to sleep. Sett walked to the kitchen, hand running through his hair. Alune, unsurprisingly, was perched on the countertop with an elegant leg crossed over the other.
“Hello, Sett.”
“...Hey, Alune.” Sett stood in front of her.
“I’m sure you have a few questions, but let me ask my own first. How long have you been seeing these glimpses of our past lives?”
Sett’s brows furrowed. “Past lives…? Is that really what it is? These visions don’t just make me see things, Alune. I feel like I’m really there , like I can feel what the ‘versions’ of myself feel. It’s downright unsettling.” Sett sighed when he realized that Alune wasn’t going to respond until he answered her question. “It’s only happened twice so far.”
Alune hummed. “I’m well aware of the connection you can feel to your past life. This has been happening to me for…a very long time now. Something, like a strong sense of deja vu, in this life triggers a memory to bubble to the surface of your mind. It took me a while to understand what was going on. I was too young at the time when these things started happening and I believed they were just nightmares. Phel would hold me until I calmed down and came back to reality…”
“Does he know what’s going on? He didn’t seem to understand back at the picnic.”
Alune remained quiet for a while before answering. “Again, I truly did believe that what I was seeing were just nightmares. When I became old enough to understand I…” She shook her head. “I just couldn’t tell him.”
“Are we sure that Phel hasn’t seen these things before, if you haven’t said anything to him?” Sett ventured.
Alune’s eyes frosted over. “He would tell me.”
“ You didn’t tell him . What makes you think he isn’t just hiding this? He wouldn’t want to burden you with this either.”
Arms crossed defensively, Alune took a patient breath. “The things I’ve seen from our lives, Phel doesn’t deserve to see. They are too painful. The pain that Phel has been through in the past is too much to hide, believe me. I will be able to tell when he has seen these things. Why would I ever want to tell Aphelios about this? To willingly hurt him? These visions are just a curse, Sett, and I’m so sorry you have to go through this with me.”
Sett was taken aback from the genuine sorrow in her voice. He watched as she pursed her lips, desperately trying not to break. Sett took a step back, opening his arms wide for Alune. She sniffled stubbornly, and stood from her perch on the counter to give Sett a hug.
They stood there for a few moments until Alune’s sniffles died down. When she backed away, Sett noticed a small patch of Alune’s snot on his sweatshirt.
“...Sorry.”
Sett shrugged his shoulders, “It’s no biggie, Alune, seriously. But…do you think Phel is going to eventually see what we’re seeing?”
“I’ve been doing research on the phenomenon, and there are more people like us, but with much milder symptoms. Some people are cursed with these strong visions, while others have small blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moments. My hope is that Phel will have the latter, or not have any visions at all,” she sighed dejectedly. “But somehow, I don’t think we’ll get so lucky.”
Sett placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “If the time ever comes, we’ll be there for him. Don’t worry Alune, he won’t be alone. And just remember, you aren’t alone either, okay? If you ever need me, I’m here for you too.”
Alune smiled softly. “Thank you Sett. I know I might seem a bit…harsh on you sometimes, but believe me when I say that if our fates had to cross in every lifetime, I’m eternally grateful it had to be with someone like you.”
Sett rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, not completely sure how to respond to Alune’s compliment. His face heated up as Alune continued.
“Phel really cares about you, you know that right? You must know that by now, Sett,” She pouted slightly, “It’s not nice to keep him waiting…”
Sett held his hands up, sputtering out a response. “I-I can’t just- I mean…There’s never been the right time, and I-”
“Alright Sett, I understand.” She took mercy on him, grabbing a bottle of water out of the fridge. “It’s late, we should both be getting to bed.”
+++
It wasn’t until a few months later that Aphelios started seeing things.
Life moved on as normal as it could for Sett, the brief episodes that interrupted his daily routine affecting him less and less as time went on. Any time a particularly disturbing memory would occur he would turn to Alune, who could pinpoint the lifetime it occurred and comfort him.
With Sett’s acceptance of the new situation, his feelings for Aphelios only grew. The trials and pain the boy had to endure made Sett’s body ache, but knowing that he could finally live a (semi) normal life with everyone in the band, he couldn’t imagine anything ruining the peace between all of them.
That is, until, memories from Aphelios’ past lives started leaking into his mind. Sett watched with apprehension as Aphelios’ eyes dulled as he ate a mooncake that Alune packed into his lunch one day. Sett reached out his hand and waved it in front of his face, but Aphelios gave no reaction. Then, in an instant, the lifeless gaze disappeared and Aphelios raised an inquisitive brow at Sett.
Sett let Alune know immediately, and she paled slightly as she stood up. “If he seemed to be fine, then it could have been inconsequential. Or, perhaps, a happy memory…”
“We should let him know what’s going on in case it happens again, Alune,” Sett kindly suggested.
The pinkette hugged herself tight, sighing through her nose. “You’re right, Sett. It’s better if Aphelios knows before it happens again. I don’t want him to think he’s going crazy. That would make me a terrible sister…
Wait here Sett,” she commanded.
With that, Alune marched through the halls of their apartment, leaving Sett far behind. He pursed his lips slightly and shrugged to himself.
Well that didn’t take much to convince her…
+++
They believed Aphelios’ recollections of their past lives were not as vivid as theirs, and Sett and Alune couldn’t have been happier. When either of them spoke about their reincarnations, they only spoke of the happy memories, and Sett shied away from the more… intimate moments him and Aphelios shared in the past, even if his present self grew slightly bolder with his affections.
“So you’ll give him flowers and chocolates, but you won’t make it official and ask him out on a date?!” Ezreal berated him one day. Thankfully Sett was able to shut him up pretty quick with a playful headlock.
One night after a rough music video shooting, Sett went to bed with bloody knuckles, a sprained ankle, and a few stitches across his cheeks. It wasn’t the brightest idea to film themselves fighting over 20 feet in the air with nothing but a few flimsy nets below to catch them, but hey, at least they got some awesome action shots of Sett before he smacked his face on a rock and fell on his ass.
It was about midnight before Sett could get comfortable, and it wasn’t long after he fell asleep before a series of knocking came from his door - hurried and distinctly Aphelios’.
Sett forced his sleepy eyes open, ignoring the ache in his face as he answered the door. “Come in, Phel-”
Before he could even finish his thought, Aphelios came into the room, kneeling down beside Sett’s bed. Sett became alert as he noticed Phel’s crumbling expression and hesitance to reach out to Sett. His hand hovered uselessly before Sett’s forearm, and Sett quickly took his hand in his own.
Aphelios wept silently in anguish, surging up to cup Sett’s face, brushing his thumb under the stitches along his cheeks. Sett’s eyes widened slightly in understanding. Something that happened at the studio must have triggered a terrible memory for Aphelios.
“Phel, mooncake , look at me,” he moved his free hand to gently guide Aphelios’ face. “Whatever you saw was in the past , look at me, Phel.”
Aphelios swallowed hard, his lip quivering as he opened his mouth. “S-S…”
Sett put a hand over Aphelios’ mouth. “Shh, it’s alright mooncake, don’t strain yourself. Your throat must hurt so much, Phel. Come here, I’m alright,” Sett put a hand behind his nape, and Aphelios melted into the bigger man's arms, pressing his face against the crook of his neck. The heaving of his chest didn’t stop, and Aphelios kept shaking his head.
“I’m sorry, Phel. I’m so sorry. I love you, mooncake, I always have, I-” he choked up, watching Aphelios pull away from Sett’s embrace. “I’m sorry…but all the past - all the future? I want to spend it with you, Phel.”
Aphelios wiped his tears away, whispering a breathless “I love you too” before bringing their lips together for the first time in what felt like centuries. They melted into each other's embrace, a thousand unspoken promises between them.
Sleep came for them shortly after Aphelios settled into the space beside Sett, clutching at his waist like he would disappear if he didn't.
+++
Sett woke to Yone’s blushing face shutting his bedroom door, listening to the soft click as it closed completely.
He turned to his side, pressing a soft kiss to the crown of Aphelios' hair.
"C'mon mooncake, time to wake up."
Sett could only laugh as Aphelios clung to him like an octopus. Maybe a few more minutes in bed wouldn't hurt…