Work Text:
4 years.
4 years have passed since beomgyu broke it off with his ex, if you could even call him that. it was just supposed to be a temporary thing for beomgyu, a short fling that he thought wouldn’t have lasted due to their differences, from their dreams to their life. he didn’t realize that the both of them would develop such intense feelings for the other in a matter of a few months. he wasn’t quite ready for a relationship back then and until now, he had never tried talking to anyone nor wanted to date so i guess he still isn’t ready for any relationship. the thought of being responsible for the other’s heart, and the breaking of it, clung to him like sharpened nails. he’d never do that again.
beomgyu met yeonjun in such a typical manner. a freshman and a sophomore, who was connected through multiple mutual friends, eventually spending so much time together until they knew the outsides and insides of the other in the name of friendship. obviously… something was bound to happen. someone was bound to fall without realizing, or in this case the both of them did, and like every young love story, someone was bound to get heartbroken in the end. they were only 19 and 21, too young for a serious romance but too old for a puppy love. as a result, beomgyu ended up eating his fists, crying alone in his bedroom as he told yeonjun he wasn’t going to go through with it, that he was scared. he thinks yeonjun hates him and it’s not impossible. beomgyu would hate himself too.
-
“guys i swear if you’re not here in 10 minutes i’m gonna kill myself.” beomgyu said nervously into his phone. he leaned against the pole in front of the bus stop as he looked around, trying to find the two giants, soobin and kai, who promised to meet about 15 minutes ago. it was already 12:15 pm and the sun was roasting beomgyu alive. thank god for his sunscreen with an spf 50, he’s not about to catch cancer.
“aaah sorry, sorry. we got hit by a bus and kai kinda broke a leg. but don’t worry, we’re running right this instant!” soobin’s laughter came after his obvious lie, which only gains a small sigh of annoyance from beomgyu.
“hope someone breaks another one haha.” beomgyu replied sarcastically to which he heard kai snickering as a reply. soobin must’ve placed him on speaker. “hey i think we see you! HEY BEOMGYUU!”
beomgyu swerved his head towards the honey-like voice, and sure enough, there he sees his two best friends, all tired out from running. their faces were glistening in sweat and beomgyu felt a little bad knowing they probably had done some kind of marathon just for him because he didn’t like being alone. the two weren’t always late either, something must’ve came up.
soobin and kai finally walked up to beomgyu, and he watches as they both catch their breaths.
“dude… you’re not gonna believe this but…” kai steadies his breath a little bit before resuming, “so soobin saw taehyun right, like right behind the engineering faculty and literally dragged the shit out of me to spy on the dude Like??? I TOLD HIM BEOMGYU WAS ALREADY WAITING OKAY but this loser insisted on stalking his crush and we lost track of time and you know we wouldn’t be late for no reason, much less a stupid reason but if it makes you feel better, soobin got his heart broken anyway because-“ kai rambled on before he was cut off by soobin.
“HEY! i didn’t get my heart broken please, and before kai says anything completely untrue about me, i’ll just tell you myself that when i saw taehyun lip locking with that architect twink, what was his name… hyunjeon? hyunjin?” soob’s frown was clear in his brows, trying to remember the name of his one-sided rival.
“it’s hyunjin, and you know he’s no twink. i mean, i’d hit but hey.” beomgyu answered, a little snicker comes out from him as he looked at soobin’s frown growing bigger.
“whatever. anyway i already know taehyun has been with many people so it doesn’t surprise m-“
“but it hurts you every time.” kai carried on.
“because why god, why is it not you?” beomgyu and kai both pulled a face towards soobin, who was already rolling his eyes. this was normal between them, teasing each other about their one sided crushes because none of them ever dared make a move. well, kai actually did try a year ago but he didn’t realize his crush was already in a relationship and it got messy real quick. so, it’s not something he’ll do on his own accord again.
“fuck you guys. enough about him. are we going to cafe hop or not?” soobin pouted at the two. the whole idea of exploring cafes was actually beomgyu’s since that one tiktok of an aesthetic cafe came onto his for you page but soobin had been the most excited between them all. kai just follows because, well because. he likes being with his friends, of course he’ll follow them anywhere. it’s either that or rotting in his room playing games, although that wasn’t a bad option to him, he figured he needed some sunlight. all three of them actually.
-
5th cafe in and beomgyu swore his legs were going to give up.
“guys, do you want to just sit here for a bit and relax? let’s just… sit.” beomgyu said exhaustingly, and seeing the look of the two beside him, it seems they were all already quite exhausted.
“yea, this seems like a nice cafe to settle down too. let’s go in.” soobin took the lead, instinctively holding the door for beomgyu and kai, along with some other customers.
they took a spot near the window, the weather a little gloom and moody, as if telling them this was their final cafe for their little adventure. soobin and kai didn’t mind it, they were satisfied with the sightseeing and the cafes they’ve went to. plus, it was already 6 pm, it made sense to start their journey home in an hour or so. beomgyu wouldn’t mind it too if a certain silhouette hadn’t piqued his interest.
the back of the orange-haired barista mixing the drinks seemed way too familiar to beomgyu. the broad shoulders paired with a slender back, the apron wrapped around his tiny waist, the stance he’s holding while pouring the coffee in. before he realizes he was staring, soobin and kai had caught wind of it and immediately latched their eyes on whoever beomgyu is watching.
“holy shit.” kai muttered.
“is that…” before soobin could finish his words, the barista turned to face the front, manning the counter next and surprising the little trio.
choi yeonjun.
“should we leave?” kai meets beomgyu’s eyes, holding his hand firmly so the boy doesn’t shake. so he doesn’t feel weak, again.
“that…”, beomgyu let out a breath he had been holding, “yea. yea let’s go.”
so before they could order anything, they left the cafe and went back to their campus. the silence between them didn’t last long when kai started making jokes about soobin and his gojo satoru, making a bet with him on whether the character would die or not. this only earned him soobin’s playful punches and beomgyu laughed along.
-
the brunette could barely focus on his assignment, not after he sees yeonjun for the first time in a while looking so different than the person he remembered. he wonders if the person himself is different, too. it would make sense for him to change, right? considering beomgyu had also grown as well and changed for the better. the last time he had an encounter with the older, a year after everything, he found himself unable to control his emotions. the protruding memory of himself accidentally crying when yeonjun came up to say hi to him hits him like a truck. they never had a proper talk about it, no closure conversation and beomgyu is left hopelessly thinking, blaming himself and feeling guilt all over again. that was his closure. the feeling of being completely alone. it never left. beomgyu doesn’t know if it will. but even if it doesn’t, beomgyu had only himself to blame. this was just karma, he thought.
since beomgyu couldn’t focus on his assignment in the library, he decided to go out to some cafe and work there. he’d always done that, but this time… there is a specific cafe he wanted to go to. it’s irking him so bad. he wanted to go back, in hiding, just to check up on the older. just a bit. but he didn’t want to interact with the older as an acquaintance, or a friend… he didn’t want yeonjun to know. so, beomgyu took his largest hoodie, enough to hide his build and covered his face with a mask. he contemplated on wearing a beanie, but settled on wearing a cap instead. he much preferred a cap anyway. after checking in the mirror multiple times, he figured the disguise looked good. finally, the bear made his way towards the cafe with his assignment (more of yeonjun really) in mind.
the front of the cafe felt more intimidating than before. if soobin and kai knew what he was up to, they’d throw him off a cliff. thank god they had matters to attend to. even they know beomgyu shouldn’t go running around, approaching someone who he knows will only make him feel bad, knowing his diffidence is horrible. but, really, he just wanted to see how yeonjun is doing. there’s no harm in that. after he makes sure the older is okay, he will leave. he will go back without ever thinking about him again. beomgyu laughs a little at the thought. as if.
the younger pushed the door open, and was greeted by yeonjun’s voice, “welcome! we will be right with you!”, honestly beomgyu was about to flee but he forced himself to take the table near the window, the previous spot he had occupied together with soobin and kai. he can do this.
a staff approaches him, and at first he freaks out, worrying if yeonjun was the person taking his order but his worries disappeared when he realized it wasn’t him. a pair of his own hopeful eyes had also disappeared along with it, but beomgyu doesn’t even feel it. his mind focused on the older still a distance away from him. when his drink came, beomgyu was already typing away at his laptop. the cafe ambience had really made him comfortable and the ideas for his assignment came pouring in. the words thank you haven’t passed his lips yet when,
“beomgyu?”
the younger swore his heart shattered when the voice calling out his name felt too familiar, laced with a hint of sorrow which hadn’t been disguised. the regret of coming is only catching up to him now, the regret of wanting to see the older, even if just a glimpse, the regret of it all pulls beomgyu down. no. how did yeonjun even recognize him in these? he wore too many clothes and accessories only for yeonjun to realize it was him at first glance.
beomgyu braved himself to look at yeonjun, trying to act surprised as well but he doesn’t know if it shows. he doesn’t know if his need to catch a glimpse of the older showed. it’s just them staring into the other’s eyes until a co-worker of yeonjun shouts for him to help out at the back. a silence that lasted for a minute felt like a lifetime, and yeonjun was the first to break it.
“my shift is ending soon. would you… no, no. please… please wait for me here.” that was the only thing yeonjun said before leaving him alone.
oh god my essay, beomgyu thought. there’s no way he’s thinking of that anymore now.
-
30 minutes have passed since yeonjun told him to stay. wanted him to stay.
beomgyu stared at the screen of his laptop mindlessly, trying to reread the essay he had only completed halfway but alas, nothing would come to mind. he wasn’t even sure if the words he read were going through his head or that he was just staring at words. the younger took out his phone and saw a few missed calls from his roommate, sunghoon, and from kai.
“i’m outside rn. did anything happen?” a text to sunghoon.
“what do u want bitch” a text to kai.
“Wanted to tell you i brought someone over an hour ago. You were already out tho. Hope its cool.” a text from sunghoon.
“damn cant a guy miss his friend. anyway…. um… soooo u owe me 30 and i kinda need that. its rllyyyyy urgent. also u said u had assignments… why r u not in ur room…. -,-“ a text from kai.
beomgyu just sighed at the texts and wired kai his 30. he’s probably about to buy some game’s seasonal pass. suddenly, a figure sat on the chair at his opposite. a beanie covered his orange hair, a loose unbuttoned tee with a black tank top underneath sat comfortably on his chest and it was paired with cream colored shorts, stopping right above his knees when he sat.
“i’m a little late. sorry. to be honest, i’m surprised you’re still here.” a small, nervous smile made its way to yeonjun’s face as he looked at beomgyu who seemed… tense.
“it’s not a problem. so, why am i still here?” beomgyu gritted his teeth a little, not really ready to have a conversation with the older. but, he’s here, and for the longest time all beomgyu wanted was for them to still have a connection with the other even after what had happened. but, that’s impossible.
“beomie… you should ask that to yourself really. why Are you here? i…” yeonjun seemed like he was contemplating what to say, his eyes darting to the floor as if it could help him think better, and it did in a way, because he isn’t at a loss for words compared to when he looked at beomgyu. “it’s nice to see you again.”, was what yeonjun settled for.
“yea… it really is nice to see you again, jjunie.” beomgyu looked intently at yeonjun, seeing if his nickname for yeonjun sparked anything in the other. he secretly hoped it would, wanted the spark to be there just for him. “i was just visiting a random cafe to do my work. you know, assignments and stuff lol. i didn’t expect you to be here.” was what beomgyu settled for.
the fact is, the both of them was affected by their fond nicknames of the other. it was theirs to use in their own little world, back when they still had it, back when they silently thought of the other as their soulmate.
maybe we still are.
“um, do you want to get out of here? i mean this is kinda my workplace and i also know this really nice restaurant we could go to. it’s not far from here.” yeonjun offered, noticing that the conversation wasn’t picking up due to the tension.
“you’re asking me out for… dinner?” beomgyu said hesitantly, looking over at the older who was giving him a thumbs up for no reason.
“if you want. only if you want to.” yeonjun replied instantly. his panicked look stirred something in beomgyu and the younger let out a laugh. oh, it was so nice to be able to laugh again in yeonjun’s presence. yeonjun seemed to think that beomgyu laughing was enamouring, and a corner of his lips tugged upwards. the mood has lighten a bit.
“alright dude, lead the way.” beomgyu smiled.
-
the day seemed to pass by too fast, beomgyu thought.
currently, the both of them were sprawled out on the grass beside each other, facing the lake which seemed a little too quiet for the night. maybe it was just beomgyu who had his ears deafened as he stared at the older boy lying down beside him, his gaze fixed on the stars. the little stroll they had didn’t last long, the evening had already began settling in the sky when they left the cafe, eager to find something to fill themselves up with. short conversations about yeonjun’s job, his little apartment he rented over on the west side of the area, beomgyu’s due assignment, his roommate frequently bringing someone to their room, the small tattoo yeonjun now has on his collarbone, yeonjun’s new perfume scent, yeonjun’s new hair colour, yeonjun’s eyes crinkling as he laughs, yeonjun’s hand that reaches over to his mouth to contain it, yeonjun’s eyes that looked at beomgyu, stared, indulged.
beomgyu misses him. i miss you, he’d say but only in his head.
they picked up burgers, none of them really wanting to stay inside the restaurant when they could walk around together. a chance that hasn’t presented itself in so long, a chance they both didn’t think they’d get again. their exhaustion brought them towards the lake separating two cities, a walkable bridge between the two. in this moment, they are alone.
“beomgyu, i’ve always wanted to ask.” yeonjun started, his eyes already fixed on the younger as he lay on the soft grass, the stars no longer catching his attention.
“did you regret it? us?”
beomgyu was stunned. he didn’t think he’d ever left that impression, but yeonjun couldn’t be blamed for feeling that way when it was beomgyu who had ended it so abruptly. but, beomgyu felt so hurt. he would never regret it, not them, not yeonjun, ever. he wasn’t sure what to say, not when his mind raced with a million words that he had kept bottled up, not when his heart aches to even mouth out, never. could he even say that? what gives him the right to say such nice things now to yeonjun when he had shot him with cruelty years ago?
“it’s okay if you do. i get it.” and before beomgyu could ask what he meant, yeonjun continued, “but not me though. i thought what we had was good for me. i didn’t regret a single moment of it.” yeonjun smiled at him, and beomgyu couldn’t control the rush of emotions that came at him. one drop, two drops and suddenly he’s crying. he’s wailing. beomgyu couldn’t understand why the older was so nice towards him.
“hey are you okay? beomgyu? beomgyu???” yeonjun got up from laying down, his hand now on beomgyu’s back in an attempt to sooth the younger. yeonjun wonders if he had said something wrong, his concern clearly etched on his face.
“yeonjun, i. i never. would never. never.” beomgyu tried to speak through sobs, he could feel the older comforting him, he could still feel him, “i still-“
yeonjun immediately embraced the little one. his hand now gently patting beomgyu on his back, letting beomgyu’s sobs die down as he calms himself. he didn’t want beomgyu to force himself to talk in his state.
“beomgyu, i think i know. i’ve known since the way you looked at me back in the cafe. you and your stupid eyes. me and my stupid eyes too. you know too, don’t you?” yeonjun softly pulled away from the younger, their gazes meeting and matching one another. such fondness they still hold for each other should have only existed in fairytales, but here they both are in a fairytale of their own.
“i’ve never stopped thinking about you.” beomgyu said.
“i see.” yeonjun replied.
“and i’ve never stopped wishing you well.”
“why, thank you. i do it too.” yeonjun booped the younger’s nose, making him grin a little.
“and i’ve also never stopped wishing we’d meet coincidentally someday.”
“so many wishes, has god finally gotten tired of you asking and brought you to me?”
“and i… i want you to know, i don’t think i can handle it if you reject me now. there’s already a lake here and i’m like, ready to jump.” this earned a laugh from yeonjun, and beomgyu was so pleased with himself to be able to make the older’s eyes crinkle again, so pleased to hear the sound of his voice laughing again because of him. yeonjun was a masterpiece from head to toe. beomgyu would always be mesmerized by the man that god had perfected, the man who was sitting right in front of him.
“yeah, i don’t think i want you to jump in there beomie. i still want you here with me.” yeonjun replied, making beomgyu’s heart skip a beat. it feels like his first crush all over again and beomgyu was beyond happy.
yeonjun caressed beomgyu’s face gently, his thumb caressing it so delicately as if he’s afraid of hurting the boy in his hands, his gaze only filled with love for the younger.
“you’ll always be the one i want, beomie. i love you, so much, much more than you know. you don’t have to explain, i understand it all.” yeonjun leans in towards the younger, their lips closing the distance in a matter of seconds, and soon they’re against each other, chasing each other’s rhythm with a need. mouth to mouth, body against body, hands on face, hands on neck, and a slight brush of the thumb against cheek. they pulled away slowly from each other to catch their breaths in both shock and embarrassment from the vulgarity they had just displayed towards each other.
“uh, my bad.” yeonjun said with a shy grin, breaking the silence before he looked towards beomgyu who was chuckling. yeonjun was so adorable. how could anyone not love this lovely man?
“i might love you the most.” beomgyu muttered slowly, seeming in awe of the older.
“what? what did you say? beomie what???” yeonjun asked cheekily and intentionally loudly, and beomgyu knew he had heard it.
“shut up!” beomgyu rolled his eyes, playfully pushing yeonjun away.
“you might love me what???” yeonjun threw himself on the younger, clearly enjoying teasing the younger. he was actually the happiest man on earth.
“yeonjun!!!” beomgyu retaliated, only to end up getting more kisses. oh he has so much to tell soobin and kai.
“fucking youth.” taehyun who was walking by muttered under his breath. he’ll be surprised to know the losers giggling over at the lake would turn out to be his best friend later on.