Archive of Our Own

“It’s way too hot out here, so it’ll be a while before I arrive. Wait for me — I’ll make it up to you with bubble tea next time, okay?”

The air was boiling where it touched skin, and so dry it was suffocating when he inhaled. In the crowd, the invisible heat enveloped him, his back sweat-soaked. Even the pedestrian crossing lines seemed to warp in the heatwaves. Cheng Xiaoshi held bags in both hands, and spoke into his phone nestled between his head and shoulder.

On the other end, Qiao Ling snorted. “Stop beating around the bush. Where exactly did you go?”

“Nowhere, just around the mall. It’s seriously too hot outside.” The green light lit up and the crowd started to scatter. Cheng Xiaoshi crossed the road. The sweat on his head ran down in trickles. His hair was loose, sticking wetly to the back of his neck.

I should go to McDonald’s later to escape from this heat. Just as he was thinking this, he faintly heard someone call his name from behind. Not catching what Qiao Ling was saying over the phone, he put it down, and turned around —

The screaming rang out first. Just an arm’s length away, a car sped past and stopped abruptly, the wind whooshing coolly into his face. The piercing sound of glass shattering was heard next. There was blood, warm and crimson, splattering right before him and onto his clothes, like a painter flinging paint onto canvas. Horrified looks were thrown this way. Cheng Xiaoshi froze, his eyes widened. His heart seemed to stop for a moment, then started racing wildly. With a thump, his bags fell to the ground.

Someone had been hit by a car. He’d crashed hard into a nearby guardrail, and his body started to go limp. His abdomen seemed to be impaled by some sharp object — perhaps glass — and ripped open. The bright red patch on the ground diffused all around him, and trickled to Cheng Xiaoshi’s feet in a matter of seconds.

“Quick, call 120!”

“Oh my God, is he dying? Why is there so much blood?”

“I’ve called the ambulance, it should come soon!”

The crowd was in unrest. Some people took out their cameras, some people had their eyes covered. Only Cheng Xiaoshi stood rooted to the spot. His back started feeling hot, and pain burned into him. The call was still connected, but he wasn’t listening anymore, just staring in shock at the person lying in a pool of blood.

He looked to be around the same age as him, but with eye-catching white hair. Cheng Xiaoshi approached him and finally saw his face. This person had really pale skin, his eyes were squeezed shut, and his lips were trembling. The red blood made him look all the more pale. This was just some poor guy who had nothing to do with him, if not for the fact there was some carving on his right wrist below his watch. Cheng Xiaoshi scrunched his brows. As the blood pooled, the pain on his back became more and more unbearable.

“Cheng Xiaoshi? Cheng Xiaoshi? What’s happening? Was there an accident? Are you okay? Cheng Xiaoshi, say something! Don’t scare me!” Qiao Ling’s anxious voice came from the phone, but only the noise around answered her.

There was a fire on his back, or maybe ten thousand ants gnawing into it. Cheng Xiaoshi scrunched his brows harder from the pain, cold sweat beading on his forehead. He had no choice — the truth was right before him. The only thing he could do was bend down and remove the watch. He coughed at the intense smell of blood. His fingers trembled, holding the thin strap, and lifted it with a deep breath.

The moment he saw it, Cheng Xiaoshi felt a hit to his soul. This person had a small row of words, faintly glowing, carved into his wrist. His mind went blank. The moment he stood up, the pain on his back vanished along with those words.

“Hey, Qiao Ling, I’m fine.” The crowd had begun to disperse, and Cheng Xiaoshi finally recovered from his trance, eerily calm as he spoke.

“Oh, good. What happened?” Qiao Ling sighed in relief.

“I met my soulmate.” The siren of the ambulance neared, and some paramedics got out, professionally checking the victim’s breathing and pulse, two fingers pressing against his neck for a long moment. Cheng Xiaoshi backed away, and gave a vague answer.

“Oh… Then I’ll let it slide for today. You’ve been talking nonstop about this, so it’s fine if you come back a little late tonight. Just don’t lose my stuff,” said Qiao Ling.

“He died, just now.” Cheng Xiaoshi’s voice was as light as a kite. He lifted his head, not willing to look at the accident anymore, but saw in his peripheral vision a couple of paramedics lift the victim onto the stretcher and cover him with a white cloth.

Cheng Xiaoshi never knew him, but right now, he felt as if his heart was being dragged across brambles. The words on his wrist were all too familiar — every time he peered at his own back in the mirror, he could see the sunken print on his skin.

That was the soulmate mark.

Cheng Xiaoshi watched the ambulance leave. The blood was washed clean off the ground, mixing with water into the nearest drain. The passersby dispersed in all directions and, after ten minutes, the street went back to its usual hustle and bustle.

It was merely a stranger who had passed away. As you’d expect, nobody would cry for him. They all just pitied him for three minutes, then carried on to their own destinations, completely forgetting about the incident. A young life was lost, just like that. Who he was, what he did before, what promises he made — how would a stranger know any of these?

Cheng Xiaoshi was just like them, yet not so like them. He saw his reflection crying in the glass window. His heart was as calm as a lake at night, so why wouldn’t the tears stop? Only when it trickled ticklishly down his face did he hurriedly wipe it off. Why? Why? I don’t even know him, I have never met him, so why is my soul crying for him?

The summer heat vapourised the wetness on his face, leaving only a cool sensation.

It was almost dark when he arrived back at the photo studio. Cheng Xiaoshi opened the door and saw Qiao Ling fiddling with the photos on the wall. Those photos were of them both, and some early clients. The photo studio had been in operation for some time, and gradually moved from a difficult start to a stable business. Cheng Xiaoshi’s life and work had also settled at last. Qiao Ling adjusted the photo upright, and stepped back to look at the entirety of the photo wall. She nodded, satisfied.

“Welcome, boss!” rang the welcome message. Qiao Ling turned her head and was about to ask what had happened, only to see Cheng Xiaoshi brush past her without a word and walk towards the stairs. He was slouching a bit, his hair tousled, and the paper bags he was holding were all wrinkled up. 

“Cheng Xiaoshi!” Qiao Ling called out and walked up to him. “Are you alright?” she asked softly.

“I want to sleep.” Cheng Xiaoshi left these words and the paper bags, and went upstairs.

Qiao Ling lowered her eyes and heard the door shut.

Some say that your soulmate is decided when you are born. Because some people are born with their mark, they often find their soulmate quickly. Though, more people only get their marks when they’re older. On the arm, the palm, the chest, neck, outer thigh, ankle… These were the common places to find a mark. Rarely, you could even find it between your fingers, on your stomach, or inner thigh. Cheng Xiaoshi was different: he cannot see his mark directly, instead needing a mirror or camera to see the words on his back.

Cheng Xiaoshi’s mark came late. When the last person around him announced triumphantly that they got their mark last night, he felt frustrated. Why was he the last one? Qiao Ling had hers, Xu Shanshan had hers, even that bookworm Dong Yi got his. Why was he the only one with no mark?

Every night, Cheng Xiaoshi would pray quietly. Let me meet my soulmate. That way, no one would joke about him being alone forever.

On an ordinary afternoon, while the teacher was droning on and on about physics, Cheng Xiaoshi was sneakily reading a comic book in the last row. Suddenly, he felt a piercing pain on his back. He froze, shoved the book under his table, and buried his face in his arms.

“Hey, are you okay?” His seatmate saw his brows all scrunched up, and patted his back.

He had touched the painful part, and Cheng Xiaoshi had to grip his clothes to stop himself from screaming out loud. He waved his hands and feigned irritability, telling him not to mind his own business, and put his face back into his arms. The pain was concentrated, like a knife carving words onto his back.

It couldn’t be a terminal illness, could it… He lived a healthy lifestyle, though. Maybe it was the academic stress? No, he recalled seeing somewhere on the internet that when you get your soulmate mark, there will be pain. If you were lucky, it would be but a tiny itch. If not, you’d be like him. But if he persevered through this agony, he would be someone who will have a soulmate in the future. What would they be like? Where would he meet them? How long until then? Cheng Xiaoshi smiled a little, his anticipation almost outweighing the discomfort.

What he didn’t expect was that the pain would become so much worse. The blade cut into him even deeper. Cheng Xiaoshi’s shirt was sticking to him due to the cold sweat. He almost thought it was blood, that his back would be sliced open and dripping, that the teacher and classmates would scream when they found out.

This was just his imagination — in the end, nothing of the sort happened. The pain continued for a few minutes and vanished. After the period, he rushed to the bathroom, pulled up his uniform and clumsily took a picture of his back. He squinted at the blurry photo, and finally deciphered the message.

Past or future, let it be.

What does it mean? Meeting his soulmate is still in the future? Or were they here now?

Not many people experience intense pain like he did — that alone made Cheng Xiaoshi confused. More so now with this cryptic message. He felt defeated. He knew Dong Yi’s mark was “Our promise”, his seatmate’s mark was “Wait for me to return to the country”, his friend’s mark was “Look behind you” — all were words that could easily be understood. Only his mark left him clueless. The mark appearing on his back was all the more rare, plus the great pain from before… Cheng Xiaoshi could only reassure himself that maybe his soulmate was someone very special.

After that day, Cheng Xiaoshi paid more attention to other people’s marks. It was rude to ask directly, so he observed. He went to the cafe to peek at everyone there, to the library and changed seats every hour, to the restaurant and scrutinised all customers who walked in. To this, Qiao Ling said: You’re obsessed, soulmate this, soulmate that — come back and work on paying off your debt!

Cheng Xiaoshi nodded furiously. Qiao Ling saw how he was acting and realised — “If you scare a client away, I’ll deduct a day’s salary. If you scare two, then it’ll be two days gone!”

“Relax, landlady, I’m not a creep! Have you ever seen me acting on someone I don't know? Of course not.”

And so this continued on for a few years without any progress. Sometimes Cheng Xiaoshi would wonder if his soulmate would really accompany him for the rest of his life, if that person really was the perfect fit for him. There are so many people in this world, and relationships are forming and breaking all the time. Some are convinced that they haven’t met their soulmate, and so they keep waiting. Some don’t believe in such things at all, and so they change partner after partner. They say that if you were to choose between a person you’ve never met and a person who’s always beside you, you’d always love the latter more. 

He had thought of giving up, of just finding someone with the same interests and mutual affection and settling with them. But every time he faced the mirror and touched the words on his back, those thoughts would shatter cleanly, as if he was possessed. He just couldn’t forget the soulmate curse, just like how he couldn’t forget that day he listened to the ceiling fan creaking in the classroom while he swallowed the intense pain on his back. 

Time went on, passing by days where gentle breezes brushed past flowery fragrances, days where the warm fireplace reflected in his eyes and he was covered in a wool blanket, and that summer, where he was sticky with sweat and enjoying a popsicle. Cheng Xiaoshi saw his soulmate, but never got to say a word to him before they were separated forever.

For three days and three nights, that indescribable sorrow followed him. He felt like his spirit had left his body, and he lived in two different worlds, one familiar and one foreign. In that other world, he knew the boy who died before him, and he would tell him of his happiness and frustrations, and they would stroll on the beach together, walking by the four seasons, no longer alone.

“Cheng Xiaoshi, stop zoning out, come take a photo for me.” Qiao Ling waved her hand in front of him.

“Ah… okay.” Cheng Xiaoshi’s empty stare regained some liveliness.

With a snap, the picture of Qiao Ling propping her chin with the wrist of her hand and holding onto the bubble tea, was frozen in the camera.

“Show me!” Qiao Ling came close and zoomed in on her face. “Not bad, your photography skills have improved. Send it to me, I’m posting it on my WeChat Moments! This shop sells great milk tea — let’s order our delivery here from now on.”

“Is that so? Well, I think it’s way too sweet,” Cheng Xiaoshi said as he sipped his drink and rolled his eyes dramatically.

“That’s what you get for ordering it with 100% sugar. Thankfully I knew better and got 50% sugar instead.”

Cheng Xiaoshi agreed absentmindedly and looked at the camera again. He imported the photo to his phone and sent it to Qiao Ling. Did his skill really improve? He really hadn’t paid much attention to the composition and lighting — it was more of a casual snap. Was it as good as she says? Cheng Xiaoshi couldn’t help but peer at it a little more.

Who’s that? He looks so familiar.

There was a white figure in the photo, walking to the left of the mall. He wore all white, and looked blurry as the camera focused on Qiao Ling. But Cheng Xiaoshi thought he couldn’t be wrong, because that person’s hair was white too. The memory of the pool of blood flooded back to him, and Cheng Xiaoshi lifted his head abruptly, but that person was long gone.

“I’ll be right back!” Cheng Xiaoshi left these words and bolted out of the shop.

“Huh? Where are you going? Cheng Xiaoshi!”

Qiao Ling yelled after him, but he paid no mind. As if possessed, he ran after the direction the person disappeared in, and looked around him as he went. A white figure vanished around a flight of stairs. Cheng Xiaoshi quickened his pace and ran up, and saw that person descending. 

“Hey, wait!” he yelled, but that person only paused for a second before starting to run. He set his sight on that figure trying to slip into the crowd, and managed to catch up. As he was nearing, his heart suddenly started thumping intensely, as if trying to stop him in his tracks.

Cheng Xiaoshi was fit, so this was nothing to him. He strode forward — almost there, just a little more! He reached out and grabbed that person’s wrist.

He was forced to a stop, but refused to turn around.

“I… I caught you.” Cheng Xiaoshi bent down and panted, but the strength in his hand did not waver. He could sense that this person was also tired out and huffing.

His heartbeat started going haywire. Cheng Xiaoshi clutched his chest and met that person’s gaze as he turned around. He was wearing white clothes, and had a hat and mask on. He covered himself up completely, showing only his blue eyes.

But his heart was racing way too fast. Cheng Xiaoshi knew — this was not due to overexertion , but the soulmate effect arising from their meeting. He reached for his own back and touched smooth skin — those carvings were no longer there. Just like how a dead person could not come back to life. So who was this person before him?

“Cheng Xiaoshi, let me go.” That person spoke his name.

“Who are you?” Cheng Xiaoshi refused to let go, his brow furrowing in anger and urgency.

“That’s not important. But I know what you’re planning to do next. You cannot go to Lu Guang’s funeral.”

“Lu Guang…” Cheng Xiaoshi murmured this name, and felt something light up in him. He looked up and frowned. “Is he the victim of that car accident?”

The other nodded and continued, “That’s not important. Anyway, you cannot go.”

“I wasn’t planning to. I just happened to pass that junction and witness the accident.” Cheng Xiaoshi released him.

“What?” That person stepped back, panic showing in his blue eyes. His entire body was shaking.

“Hey, are you okay?” Cheng Xiaoshi stepped forward.

“You cannot go! Do you hear me? I don’t want… I don’t want to see that again…” He grabbed Cheng Xiaoshi’s shoulders, and his nervous voice became faint.

Cheng Xiaoshi was stunned from being shaken like that. The hands on his shoulders were gripping so hard they became pale, but both his wrists were clean of any carvings. He nodded, dazed, and said, “I got it.”

The other wanted to say something more, but Cheng Xiaoshi blinked and he disappeared, as if he never existed.

That night, Cheng Xiaoshi lay on his bed, tossing and turning. He couldn’t sleep. Thousands of thoughts raced through his mind: So his name is Lu Guang. He’s my soulmate, isn’t he? And why did that guy who came out of nowhere try to stop me from going to the funeral? I wasn’t even gonna go.

So confusing! Cheng Xiaoshi hugged his pillow and turned over, picking up his phone to scroll through his social media.

The era of the internet was one where you could get information on anything you wanted. Lu Guang’s accident was photographed and put online, and it made big news. The offending driver had escaped, and was still at large. Oddly, the victim’s bank account had transaction records after his death, even though his phone had been in the possession of the police. But these transactions allowed the police to get their hands on important clues. Cheng Xiaoshi couldn’t bear to see the gruesome accident photos, and skipped two pages. 

The funeral shall be held on the 16th, at 3:00PM, near Guidu University…

Cheng Xiaoshi saw this comment and sat up. Lu Guang was his soulmate — even if they had never met, there was an invisible line connecting them, and their hearts beat for each other. So he should be allowed to attend the funeral.

He remembered the words of that stranger earlier that day, and started hesitating. After thinking for a while, Cheng Xiaoshi decided to go with what his heart told him. Who even was that guy, all covered up? He didn’t know him, and he spoke such confusing words. Why should he listen to him?

The funeral was a simple one. Cheng Xiaoshi looked around, and saw only a couple of young people who looked to be of the same age. People of the same age as Lu Guang’s parents or relatives were not there. In the middle of the mourning hall, Cheng Xiaoshi looked up and finally got a look at Lu Guang’s face.

The photograph was black and white, but his eyes seemed to speak to him. Cheng Xiaoshi stared in a trance while his heartbeat drowned out anything else around him, forming a silent callus that blocked out the outside world. He heard an unfamiliar voice calling out to him: Cheng Xiaoshi, Cheng Xiaoshi, don’t come any closer!

“Hey you, could you stand aside?”

The blurry images before him became fog and dispersed. The funeral host was chasing him to the side. Cheng Xiaoshi answered and shook his head as he left.

Was that his imagination?

As the host introduced him, Cheng Xiaoshi learned that this person called Lu Guang went to the same university as him, Guidu University. They graduated in the same year and Lu Guang was a year younger than him. Cheng Xiaoshi knew seniors from the Philosophy course, and juniors from the Environment College, even the teachers from Piano and Performance courses. But he had never heard of Lu Guang.

“Hey, are you Lu Guang’s schoolmate too?” The girl beside him asked.

“Schoolmate? Oh… I guess so.” They studied in the same university for four years. Even if they never spoke, they must have passed each other at some point without paying attention, Cheng Xiaoshi thought.

“Back in university, Lu Guang wasn’t that popular, but he knows how to take care of people. Once, I sprained my ankle, and it was he who helped me to get to the infirmary. He even compiled notes he took during class. During that time, I was indebted to him. If not for him, I’d have flunked my classes.” The girl looked up and the black and white portrait reflected in her eyes. “You must feel even worse than I do about Lu Guang’s accident. I knew you’d come.”

“You knew I’d come? What do you mean? Do you know me?” Cheng Xiaoshi frowned and spoke a little too loudly, earning some sharp looks. He paid no mind, only thinking about that mysterious person he met at the mall.

“Not exactly. I’ve only seen you in a photo in Lu Guang’s notebook. I remember asking him who it was, but he only put it away and said it was his friend. That photo was quite dark. I could only make out you hugging him and taking the photo. Plus, if he calls someone a friend, then that person must be really close to him, maybe even his soulmate.”

But, I don’t know him, not even in the slightest! If he has a photo, why didn’t he come look for me? Cheng Xiaoshi stood rooted to the spot, his limbs freezing up. The eerie clues connected, but he couldn’t find an answer.

“Alright, I gotta go give my flowers.” The girl took her bouquet of white and yellow chrysanthemums, went up to Lu Guang’s portrait, and set it down gently.

Cheng Xiaoshi was up next. His flowers weren’t special, and they blended in with the whites and yellows of the bunch. He straightened and looked at Lu Guang’s black and white photo.

It’s happening again, that feeling from just now. His surroundings slipped into silence, and he thought for a second that everyone was gone, but he could clearly feel countless gazes on him. His heart raced faster and faster, and so did his breathing. His back and chest were struck by concentrated tiny jabs of pain, as if his body was going to rip into pieces. He bent down to breathe, his right hand gripping the fabric on his chest tightly. He heard footsteps approaching from behind and someone asking if he was okay.

Too much. Cheng Xiaoshi lost his balance and knelt down, cold sweat beading on his forehead. His mind was jumbled, and images of the accident flashed before his eyes. The blood flowed and flowed, and reached the feet of somebody. He looked up and saw the darkened face of the mysterious person. Cheng Xiaoshi closed his eyes and sensed his arms being pulled up by some force, but it was no use. He felt as if his soul was leaving his body, and he was forgetting where he was. Maybe he really shouldn't have come. He struggled to open his eyes through the pain, and looked up to meet Lu Guang’s eyes —

Why? What is this? Lu Guang, who are you? Tell me, tell me!

“Hey, are you even listening?”

A female voice rang out. Cheng Xiaoshi turned his head.

“Cheng Xiaoshi, you’re spacing out again? Go teach yourself then, I’m not doing this anymore!” Qiao Ling pushed the book at him and turned away angrily.

“Qiao Ling? This is…” Cheng Xiaoshi looked around him in a daze.

This place had no flowers or people dressed in formal black wear. Instead, there was a teaching podium, blackboard, ceiling fans, and rows of tables and chairs — This was Guidu University’s classroom!

“Qiao Ling, why am I here?” Cheng Xiaoshi asked in fright.

“What’s wrong with you?” Qiao Ling rolled up the book and smacked him with it. “I went through so much trouble to find an empty classroom to teach you for free, and you behave like this! Go bother Lu Guang next time, not me!” 

Hearing that name, Cheng Xiaoshi stood up quickly as if he’d been hit. “Lu Guang? Wh… where is he?”

“Didn’t he say he’s going to the library? Why are you so worked up?” Qiao Ling asked worriedly. “You’re sweating so much. Are you sick?” She reached out to feel Cheng Xiaoshi’s forehead, but he stopped her.

“I’ll go look for him!” Cheng Xiaoshi bolted out of the classroom.

This is so bizarre! How did he get here? Cheng Xiaoshi raced down the hall, lifting a breeze as he went. The library which he remembered to be far from the teaching building was just before him.

Unfortunately, to enter the library you had to tap your student card. Cheng Xiaoshi sighed — he usually didn’t bring his around. If he needed it, he always asked to borrow his roommate’s or Qiao Ling’s. He reached into his pocket, expecting nothing, but touched a hard object.

His student card was really inside.

Every wall in the library had a huge “SILENCE” sign on it. Cheng Xiaoshi didn’t dare to walk too loudly. He was covered in sweat, and quickly went to stand under the coolness of the air conditioner for a minute.

As he was ascending the stairs, he felt a little nervous. It was impulsive of him to just run here. He knew nothing about his soulmate Lu Guang. How should he talk in order not to appear suspicious? How did the two of them get along? What relationship did they have? Lastly, there were so many rooms in the library — which one was Lu Guang in?

Cheng Xiaoshi loitered around for a bit, but didn’t see that white figure. He fished out his phone, irritated, and opened WeChat.

Lu Guang: I’m going to the library in the afternoon, so Qiao Ling will be helping you instead

Cheng Xiaoshi: Eh? Why can’t we just postpone it to tomorrow?

Lu Guang: Tomorrow I’m working on my thesis

Cheng Xiaoshi: OK, we’ll come look for you for dinner after we’re done, don’t run off

Cheng Xiaoshi: [PoliceDogPointingAFinger.jpg]

Lu Guang: Yeah

These were the only recent messages, and the earlier ones were from days before. They were all of Cheng Xiaoshi asking Lu Guang to help him get his parcel, or Lu Guang sending his answers to assignments.

It seemed like their usual relationship was a comfortable one. Cheng Xiaoshi let out a sigh of relief, but frowned again. He typed and deleted in the message box, and ended up carefully sending a single sentence.

Cheng Xiaoshi: Where are you

Cheng Xiaoshi: I mean which room in the library

There was no reply. He paced around in front of the Literature Room nervously. Ten minutes later, his phone vibrated. He unlocked it quickly.

Lu Guang: Same place

Shit! What does “same place” mean? Cheng Xiaoshi wanted to curse. Just as he was pulling out his hair in frustration, his phone vibrated again.

Lu Guang: Science and tech

Lu Guang: You’re done already?

He’s saved. Cheng Xiaoshi let go of his tousled hair, lies spilling out of him.

Cheng Xiaoshi: It’s urgent. I need to talk to you. I’m already here

Lu Guang did not reply. Cheng Xiaoshi turned to the Science and Tech Room, and peered between the bookshelves as he walked past. He was getting dizzy when he finally saw Lu Guang sitting in the Physics section all the way inside. He almost missed it, and stepped back.

“Finally found you! So you’re hiding here.” Cheng Xiaoshi reminded himself to act as if he had known Lu Guang forever, or else he’d be found out. So he patted Lu Guang’s shoulder, and bent down to examine the book cover curiously. “Quantum physics…what’s this? So complicated.”

“My major,” Lu Guang answered softly and peered at him. “So, what is it?”

Cheng Xiaoshi was still thinking about how Lu Guang had a rather nice voice. He hurried on, “Well, it’s not that important. Just… uh…” He stole a glance at Lu Guang, and saw that he was looking back at him.

“You just didn’t want to study.” Lu Guang closed the book and walked out from between the bookshelves.

“No, no, it’s not like that.” Cheng Xiaoshi followed him.

Lu Guang went down two bookshelves and removed a Fundamental Physics textbook, and borrowed it along with the one he was just reading. He found a corner in the self study area and patted the chair, signalling Cheng Xiaoshi to sit.

“What?” Cheng Xiaoshi sat down nervously, and stared at Lu Guang’s hand flipping the material open. He had a bad feeling about this.

“Qiao Ling said she’s going back first. I’ll teach you the rest.” Lu Guang followed Qiao Ling’s instructions and opened the book to page 68. He pointed at a question with his pen. “There’s not many practice questions in the textbook. This is the content I taught you last time. Look at it first, I’ll search for something else.” After he spoke, he turned to his laptop.

This Lu Guang guy is really an academic genius. Cheng Xiaoshi answered in agreement and stared at the Physics questions. It had been 2 years since he graduated, and he only took one Physics course, way back in Year 1. Now, he knew nothing about Physics. The questions looked like they were written in another language to him, so he couldn’t do a single one.

Shit, now what? Lu Guang said he taught me last time. He looks like he never smiles, won’t he scold me to death if I can’t do this? Cheng Xiaoshi put his hands on his thighs and clutched at his pants nervously.

“What’s the matter? You still don’t know how?” Lu Guang glanced at him, and saw Cheng Xiaoshi looking so solemn it was almost funny.

“No, it’s just… let me see, um, I forgot the equations.” He flipped the pages quickly, intending to absorb what he could in this short amount of time.

After a while, Lu Guang still saw nothing from him. He sighed and grabbed the pen from Cheng Xiaoshi. “Forget it. I’ll just explain it again.”

“Huh? You… you’re not mad?” Cheng Xiaoshi bowed his head slightly, avoiding Lu Guang’s eyes.

“It’s not the first time this has happened. Last week was Professor Li’s final lecture for this course. Six people failed the class. If you don’t revise properly when you get back, don’t come looking for me when you flunk,” said Lu Guang.

Before he came to know Lu Guang, Cheng Xiaoshi had also been a student of Professor Li. If not for his pulling an all-nighter to study, he would’ve definitely been one of the failing students. Luckily, he had ended up barely passing with a score of 62. After seeing his results, he’d flung his Physics book and vowed to never touch this evil subject again. Recalling those torturous days, Cheng Xiaoshi thought in fright, I have to study this again?

God-damned Physics! Cheng Xiaoshi ground his teeth, fighting the urge to just rip the book apart. Miraculously, all feelings of boredom vanished when Lu Guang started teaching him. Usually, when he listened to Professor Li’s weird accent in class, Cheng Xiaoshi just felt like it was a waste of time, and that he was better off taking a nap. Now, as Lu Guang taught him the technique to solve these kinds of questions, he started to think perhaps Physics wasn’t so hard after all.

After finishing a chapter, the sun was almost setting.

“Lu Guang, how are you so good at everything? Maybe you should take the exam for me. So many equations, I can’t remember them all.” Cheng Xiaoshi lay on the table and complained.

“Are you stupid? I’ve been working on a research project with him for half a year. If I take the exam for you, we’ll both be in trouble,” answered Lu Guang seriously.

“What project?” Cheng Xiaoshi turned his head to look at him.

“You haven’t learnt it. It involves quantum physics.”

“It’s that book you were reading right? I know that!” Cheng Xiaoshi sat upright. “Can you invent a time machine with that?”

“It’s not the same. Stop dreaming.” Lu Guang glanced at his phone. “Good work studying today. I just invited Qiao Ling, I’m treating you two to a meal.”

“Yay!” Cheng Xiaoshi put his arm around Lu Guang’s shoulder and left the library with him. “I wanna eat spicy crayfish braised abalone roast chicken marinated duck crispy goose stir-fried shrimp with pork elbow braised crab meat in casserole braised sea cucumber in pot five spices beef!”

Lu Guang did not push him away. He responded lightly, “Sure. Don’t let me see you leave before you finish everything.”

Cheng Xiaoshi put his face closer. “Wow, okay, if I can’t leave then you’re not going anywhere either!”

After they met up with Qiao Ling, the three of them hailed a ride to the mall near school. Cheng Xiaoshi insisted on pizza, and Qiao Ling pinched his ear, insisting that Lu Guang choose the place because he’s paying. Lu Guang fiddled with the laggy mall directory, and said, then let’s have pizza.

Dinner was mainly pleasant, but Cheng Xiaoshi had ordered a bunch of stuff he wanted to eat, and actually ended up unable to finish it. Qiao Ling had movie plans with Xu Shanshan and left after having her fill, leaving Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang with their half a pizza and barely eaten popcorn chicken and fries.

“Oh no, we can’t finish it. What to do? This is such a waste.” Cheng Xiaoshi flopped on the sofa and rubbed his stomach.

“Now you’re thinking about being wasteful?”

“How should I know you’d eat so little? Are you really full?”

“I’m not like you, I don’t have such a huge appetite.”

“Do you usually eat this little?” Cheng Xiaoshi yawned as he fiddled with the hem of his jacket. He was sleepy from the day’s events — funeral early in the morning, and Physics all afternoon. It was no wonder he was tired.

Lu Guang peered at him. “You quite like asking questions you already know the answers to, today.”

That evening, they alighted the car in front of the school. Lu Guang pointed at the building across from them and told Cheng Xiaoshi that that was the place where he did research with Professor Li, and he could look for him anytime.

Cheng Xiaoshi looked in the direction he was pointing and complained that it was too far, and would probably take over ten minutes just to walk there.

Then I’ll come look for you, he heard Lu Guang say.

They walked together to the dormitory building. Cheng Xiaoshi checked his phone in advance and learnt that his room was Room 108 in Building 10, and that his two roommates would be out for the night.

Guidu University was not strict about where the students stayed. As long as you informed the person in charge, you could stay overnight outside the dorms. Cheng Xiaoshi expressed his envy for his roommates going out and having fun, and reached for his pocket.

“No need to look, your keys are with me.” Lu Guang came closer, holding a room key with a puppy keychain. He unlocked the door and tossed the keys on the table.

One of them was a Physics major, and the other was a Management Sciences major. Those fields weren’t related in the slightest, but they still miraculously got assigned the same room. This room was similar to the one he remembered, except mirrored. Back when he stayed at Room 302, the bathroom was to the right of the entrance — now it’s on the left. Cheng Xiaoshi sat down at his desk, and swiped the remote to turn on the air conditioner.

Who set it to 27℃? So hot. Cheng Xiaoshi aimed at it. “Beep, beep, beep” went the machine as the cooling 24℃ wind blew on his bed. Cheng Xiaoshi opened his mobile game as he always did, and heard water sounds coming from the bathroom before long.

He looked up at Lu Guang’s desk. On the left bookshelf there were learning materials, and on the right one there were many complicated higher Physics research materials. The books were all lined up neatly, ordered by height, and the pens on the table were capped and set in the centre.

Does this guy have OCD? Cheng Xiaoshi crept up to look. It was merely a neat table belonging to a typical male university student — no weird stones, no eerie crystal ball. It seemed that his coming here was not Lu Guang’s doing. Thinking this, he sighed again. Can he still go back? Should he still go back? Apart from the woes of studying, life here seemed to be just fine. He’s got friends, Qiao Ling, and his soulmate Lu Guang…

Cheng Xiaoshi held his breath as the water sounds from the bathroom ceased. Soulmates… did they exist in this world too? He reached behind his back, and there on that familiar patch of skin, was a shallow carving.

Past or future, let it be.

“Cheng Xiaoshi, don’t set the air conditioner too low.”

Lu Guang’s voice rang out behind him. Cheng Xiaoshi got startled and whipped around so quickly he almost fell onto the floor. In his frenzy to grab the table for balance, his shirt got caught and lifted for a split second, but it was enough for the mark to be exposed to Lu Guang. He quickly balanced himself and glanced at Lu Guang’s expression.

Lu Guang seemed to just be taken aback by his actions, and there was only fleeting surprise in his eyes. He rubbed his wet hair and turned up the air conditioner by two degrees. “What are you up to, creeping around like that?”

“Nothing, I was just taken by surprise,” said Cheng Xiaoshi honestly, as he sat back on his chair and started a match. Lu Guang’s right hand was just within sight. He could see it when he looked up slightly, and saw a patch of black on that pale wrist — a watch.

Didn’t he just come out of the shower? Why was he still wearing his watch? In this moment, he remembered the carvings. Cheng Xiaoshi had seen those words on Lu Guang’s wrist before. Since the soulmate mark on his back was still intact, it must mean that the same mark was below that watch.

But would it still be the same as his? Cheng Xiaoshi couldn’t say for sure that Lu Guang was his soulmate, because ever since he came here, his heart hadn’t raced even once — not even when he came close. 

Lu Guang… might not be his soulmate anymore.

That thought struck him like a cruise ship crashing into a huge reef emerging from the sea. Cheng Xiaoshi was curled up on the chair, and his head hit the table right below, causing a pained hiss.

He felt a sinking feeling in his chest. He didn’t even feel like shooting down his opponents anymore. Was this… disappointment? Because Lu Guang might not be his soulmate anymore, he might become close to someone else, and gradually spend less time with him; eventually, he would only be able to talk to him over text, and watch him leave with someone else instead of him…

He had only known Lu Guang for less than half a day. Cheng Xiaoshi didn’t even know what he liked to eat, when his birthday was, or when he woke up each morning and went to bed each night. So why did he have these confusing feelings? He couldn’t understand, nor did he want to continue thinking about it. So he tossed his phone onto his bed and lay on top, intending to sleep.

“Idiot, the lights are still on.”

After a while, he heard Lu Guang’s voice.

“...” How did he forget something like this.

Cheng Xiaoshi sat up and heaved a long sigh. He looked at Lu Guang, who was facing the wall, and only his white head was poking out from under the covers.

“Are you cold? You’re all wrapped up.” He blurted.

“No. Are you turning off the lights or not?” The head moved slightly.

“Ahhh, so sleepy!” Cheng Xiaoshi plopped back down. The white light was indeed blinding. “I~ don’t~ wanna~ go~ down~ ” he drawled.

There was shuffling, and the bunk bed ladder shook. The light was turned off, sending the room into darkness.

Cheng Xiaoshi didn’t think Lu Guang would switch off the light so quickly and say nothing more. He started to worry that Lu Guang was mad at him.

“Lu Guang.”

“...”

“Lu Guang?”

“...”

“Why are you ignoring me?”

“...If you have something to say, hurry up.”

“Are you mad at me?”

“...Cheng Xiaoshi, you’re even more idiotic than usual. What happened?” Lu Guang turned over, but he couldn’t see anything in the darkness.

Cheng Xiaoshi was too scared to even breathe normally. After a long while, he answered, “Oh, I’m fine. We have exams soon, right? Maybe I’m just a little emotionally stressed.”

“It’s just exams, you’ll be fine if you study properly. Anything you need help with, just ask me. If you really flunk, it’s okay too. During the summer break I’ll be in school working on my research, and we can study together.”

“Aw… Lu Guang, you’re too kind.”

Then it was radio silence from him. Cheng Xiaoshi called his name again, but never received any more replies. Could it be that he’s embarrassed? Cheng Xiaoshi giggled to himself.

The sudden return to university life was like turning younger by a few years, and took some getting used to. After graduation, Cheng Xiaoshi had worked at Qiao Ling’s photo studio, helping customers develop photos every day, and occasionally taking a photography job — it was a steady lifestyle. The best part was that he didn’t have to get up early, and go for horrible 8AM classes!

So when the Study Board called him, Cheng Xiaoshi irritatedly threw his phone aside, buried his head in the blanket and went back to sleep.

In the end, the call was answered by Lu Guang. He thought Cheng Xiaoshi didn’t have classes in the morning, so he didn’t wake him up. He turned on only the small table light instead of the bright ceiling light. Now, he struck the lights on, and reached up to yank Cheng Xiaoshi’s arm, calling his name and telling him to get up.

“Who is it… I can’t get up, I’ll take the day off…” Cheng Xiaoshi snuggled further inside.

“Cheng Xiaoshi, get up within three minutes, or else Fundamental Physics won’t be the only subject you’re failing.”

Right now Lu Guang’s voice held such a power to it that Cheng Xiaoshi opened his eyes immediately and sat up. He looked around him, and slowly remembered as he woke up. Lu Guang tossed his phone to him, which displayed the time: 08:56 AM.

“Shit!” Cheng Xiaoshi leapt off the bed, and fumbled as he changed his clothes, brushed his teeth and washed his face in a hurry, and dashed out the door.

For the next three days, he overslept. Thankfully, he had a “human alarm clock” who woke him up on time. It’s not like Lu Guang had no 8AM classes, but his professor had other matters and changed the week’s schedule. Nevertheless, he got up at 7AM everyday and read book after book that he would borrow from the library.

Cheng Xiaoshi had mentioned more than once his envy for Lu Guang’s self-discipline, but Lu Guang said it’s not self-discipline, just something he wanted to do. When you really want to do something, you can persevere no matter how hard it looks to other people.

After a week, Cheng Xiaoshi finally adjusted his cursed sleep schedule back to normal, and became a good student who slept and rose early. Of course, half of it was thanks to Lu Guang.

As the exam date neared, Cheng Xiaoshi went to the library whenever he didn’t have classes. He deliberately chose a seat closest to the Physics section, and sometimes would meet Lu Guang who came to borrow books. Cheng Xiaoshi thought Lady Luck must be on his side. On the day of the results being released, he nagged about it all day. At 11:50PM, he insisted that Lu Guang check the results with him.

“It’s not like you’ll lose marks if you check it in the morning.” Lu Guang was yawning. He had 8AM classes tomorrow, too.

“No, I won’t be able to sleep if I don’t see it now!” Cheng Xiaoshi’s eyes were glued to the screen.

He tried to get into bed while Cheng Xiaoshi was busy staring at the screen, but his waist was grabbed and pulled back onto the chair.

“Cheng Xiaoshi, you…!” Lu Guang was taken aback as his shoulder was grabbed.

Refresh, refresh, refresh. 12:00AM, refresh. A popup window appeared.

Cheng Xiaoshi carefully tapped the button to download his test results.

“Ahhhh! Lu Guang!! I passed! I passed!” After three seconds, a screech came from Building 10 Room 108. Cheng Xiaoshi shook Lu Guang’s shoulder, so happy he was almost crying.

Finally, he was free of annoying Physics. Finally, no more complicated and hard to understand equations. He could relax for the rest of university life now!

“Stop shaking me… Cheng Xiaoshi!” Lu Guang grabbed his wrists and forced him to stop. He stared at his huge eyebags. “Go to sleep. Look at how bad your eyebags are. Plus, I’ve got 8AM classes tomorrow.” 

“Huh? You do?” Cheng Xiaoshi was shocked. “You never told me.”

Lu Guang paid no mind to him, and tucked himself in bed. Cheng Xiaoshi clutched his phone for a while, feeling happy, and sent it to his classmates to show off. He got a handful of salty stickers in the chat.

As he was finished showing off and getting ready to sleep, a calm voice spoke up above. “Remember to turn off the lights.”

“Sure.” Cheng Xiaoshi turned off the lights and crawled into bed. He peeked out at Lu Guang, but still couldn’t see anything. He laid on his back, tossing and turning, unable to sleep because of the excitement.

In the darkness, the dorm room was quiet, save for very mild sounds of fabric rustling. Cheng Xiaoshi had his eyes closed, and images flashed through his mind like a movie. Once again, he saw that car accident and funeral that came into his life. He had to admit that this was indeed a bizarre world — you never knew what was going to happen next. Cheng Xiaoshi was scared, but also looking forward to the future. He wanted to get closer, but he was anxious. If none of this had happened, he would never have met Lu Guang, and would just be working at an ordinary photo studio, doing the same tasks everyday: develop photos, take photos, develop photos, take photos.

That kind of life now seemed tasteless to him.

“Lu Guang, are you asleep?” Cheng Xiaoshi asked softly.

This time, Lu Guang seemed to really be asleep. He had lessons all morning, and research all afternoon. When Cheng Xiaoshi had called, he didn’t even say much before hanging up.

“Lu Guang, thank you. If I hadn’t met you, I would really have flunked,” said Cheng Xiaoshi, half to himself. He took another look at his phone. “We should’ve gone out today, maybe to drink. Even those people who flunked went out to have fun. Hey, Lu Guang, why don’t we go right now? I’ll treat you to barbecue.”

No response, but he didn’t feel the least bit lonely. Moonlight came in through the gaps between the curtains. He yawned, and finally started feeling sleepy.

Cheng Xiaoshi was a man of his word. The next evening, he dragged Lu Guang out to celebrate. Qiao Ling couldn’t make it due to evening classes, so Lu Guang suggested going next time instead. But Cheng Xiaoshi didn’t care, and immediately ordered two cans of beer upon getting seated.

“I don’t drink.” Lu Guang passed the foaming can of beer to Cheng Xiaoshi.

“Why not? Just a little.” Cheng Xiaoshi grabbed the icy aluminium can and raised it towards Lu Guang’s face.

“I don’t like to drink. You don’t overestimate yourself either — did you forget about last time with Shanshan and the others…” Lu Guang let out a hiss. He tried to push Cheng Xiaoshi’s arm away, but his strength did not rival his. The cold beer can touched his face, and he shivered.

Last time? Cheng Xiaoshi did not remember any such thing. He didn’t like red or white wine, and usually drank beer. Who gets drunk from a few sips of beer? Cheng Xiaoshi refused to believe it. Although he didn’t know what Lu Guang was talking about, he believed he could hold his liquor. It shouldn’t be that bad.

“If you won’t drink, then I will!” The food hadn’t even arrived, and Cheng Xiaoshi was already chugging. 

“Hey, don’t drink so hard! I’m going to have to carry you back later!” Lu Guang tried to stop him, but Cheng Xiaoshi was too strong.

Two beers later, he felt his sight go blurry. He took the skewers that Lu Guang handed him, and only had a few bites before his head dipped and thunked on the table. He heard Lu Guang’s voice calling his name. He wanted to answer, but his throat felt like it was clogged up with cement, and could only make breaths.

No way, is my alcohol tolerance that bad? His sight blurred even more and the noise around him lulled him to sleep. Cheng Xiaoshi felt a warmth. Before his consciousness sank, he heard Lu Guang call his name…

“Cheng Xiaoshi, Cheng Xiaoshi!”

After some time, his consciousness resurfaced. Who was calling him? He used all his strength to open his eyes, like a machine booting up. His legs felt fine, just that his head ached a little.

“You’re awake?” came Lu Guang’s voice. He looked at Cheng Xiaoshi holding his head. “Headache? Have some lemon water.”

The restaurant was still noisy as ever, with some workers who had just come off work sitting around topless and making deafening conversation. Lu Guang did not like excessive noise, so he carried Cheng Xiaoshi to a corner. He broke a sweat and had to huff for a few minutes.

“Lu Guang? How long have I been asleep?”

“It’s 2:18 in the morning.” 

“...Four hours.” Cheng Xiaoshi accepted the water and drank it. Instantly, the suffocating feeling in his chest vanished, and his eyes became clear. He sat up straight. Save for a slight dizziness and headache, he felt just fine all over.

“At this hour we cannot enter the school anymore. Let’s sleep at the research centre — there are beds there. I have experiments to do there tomorrow as well.” Lu Guang had already done all the preparations, even informing his groupmates early and telling them not to lock the door.

When they walked out of the restaurant, there were only scattered stars in the sky and the moon hidden behind clouds. The lamplight stretched out their long shadows. The feeling of a breeze stroking his face coolly made Cheng Xiaoshi open his arms as he walked along. He didn’t know if he was drunk. He ran up ahead and turned around to walk backwards. Lu Guang, wanna show me around your lab? I haven’t been there yet, he said.

If you want, I’ll make an exception for you, said Lu Guang.

He kept his word and led Cheng Xiaoshi all the way to the labs. The lights in the research centre were white, and when he turned on one, you could somewhat see the equipment and shadows at the back. The air was cold where it touched skin, and Cheng Xiaoshi latched closer onto Lu Guang.

“You’re scared of this?” He turned on his torch. “It’s just the same as the labs in school.”

“I don’t know, don’t you think there’s a creepy aura here? Feels like a ghost is gonna jump us from the corner anytime…”

“Don’t be stupid.” Lu Guang’s voice echoed in the empty space.

They passed many labs from the entrance, none of which Lu Guang entered. Cheng Xiaoshi curiously looked everywhere, and tried to open every door he saw. Lu Guang stopped him each time and said, this research centre doesn’t just belong to Professor Li, but also a couple of other teams doing projects. If you break anything, you won’t be able to bear the consequences. Hearing that, Cheng Xiaoshi retracted his eager hands and followed Lu Guang closely.

Only until the very last door did Lu Guang stop. The door opened with a creak, and he brought Cheng Xiaoshi in.

“This is where I normally do my experiments, but sometimes I carry the machine elsewhere.”

Before them was a huge contraption, about 1.5 metres tall. The body of it was covered in complicated wiring, and an old phone was tied to the middle.

“What’s this?” Cheng Xiaoshi pointed at it and asked.

“The startup mechanism.” Lu Guang did not seem to want to show him any more, but he frowned and said, “Not long ago, I noticed that the experiment I conducted near school last month had signs of success, but I’m not entirely sure.”

“Wow, congrats, no wonder you’re so busy these days. Oh yeah, what’s the project about?”

“I can’t say. This is Professor Li’s requirement.”

“You’re studying quantum physics, so this must be some supernatural stuff.”

“If the supernatural stuff is real, will you be scared?” Lu Guang looked up and stared straight into Cheng Xiaoshi’s eyes.

“Ah? It depends on what kind of supernatural stuff. There’s so many possibilities, so I couldn’t say for sure.” Cheng Xiaoshi gave a confusing answer. He didn’t know what he was saying either.

Lu Guang said nothing more, walking out of the lab and locking it. Cheng Xiaoshi held out his hands: That’s it? Lu Guang nodded.

The two of them found an empty lab to sleep in. Lu Guang and another groupmate had put two foldable beds here, to sleep on when they got too tired from doing experiments. It was quite convenient. Lu Guang thought Cheng Xiaoshi would not be used to it, so he let him sleep on his bed while he slept on his groupmate’s.

That night Cheng Xiaoshi fell asleep quickly, perhaps due to the alcohol. Fundamental Physics was the last class to end in the semester, and the relaxing summer holidays came just a few days later. But there was no such thing as a vacation for Lu Guang — he had to stay at the research centre for experiments.

It was quite boring to spend the holidays alone. Cheng Xiaoshi had failed to invite anyone out for three days, and he was rolling on the bed. Suddenly he remembered that the guy who was supposed to come for the party yesterday, was doing his experiments right now.

Giving up his time for science and ambitions is admirable, but he can’t just not go out with me , thought Cheng Xiaoshi.

Lu Guang only saw the messages three hours later, and replied that he was free next Friday. Cheng Xiaoshi jumped up from the bed immediately to check the calendar — he had nothing on that day.

Cheng Xiaoshi: Let’s go let’s go, I wanna see the shooting stars, and then go to the amusement park

Lu Guang: How old are you already

Cheng Xiaoshi: My grandpa went on the rollercoaster when he was 50! I’m still young!

Lu Guang: We only have half a day

Cheng Xiaoshi: No problem

Even on a hot summer day, the park was chock-full of people. Cheng Xiaoshi saw this coming, and he wore a hat and sunglasses along with loose clothes. He saw Lu Guang from afar wearing his usual outfit, and waved at him.

“You’re only dressed like this?” Cheng Xiaoshi took off his sunglasses, looking a little unhappy.

“Just got a ride here straight from the lab. I didn’t have time to change,” explained Lu Guang, handing a fan to Cheng Xiaoshi.

“Pfft-hahahaha! You look like an old man!” Cheng Xiaoshi laughed out loud, holding his stomach.

Lu Guang: “...”

The truth was, wearing a simple white tee and shorts, and holding that fan, he really did look like an old man…

“If you’re in a hurry, we’ll just go on the carousel, ferris wheel, and haunted house. Is that okay?” Cheng Xiaoshi counted the events.

Lu Guang looked at the carousel, which was all pink and occupied by little girls. If two male university students were to get on… who knows how many looks they’d get. He didn’t want to attract attention. But Cheng Xiaoshi dragged him along to the entrance.

“Lu Guang, you keep looking this way. You really want to ride this, right?” Cheng Xiaoshi laughed innocently, and you couldn’t tell if he was doing it on purpose.

“Idiot, I’m not…” Lu Guang didn’t get to finish before being brought in front of a pink pony.

“We already paid for it, so we can’t just waste it. You sit on this pink one, I’ll sit beside you!” Cheng Xiaoshi said and hung his sunglasses on his collar, then sat himself down on the pony beside, smiling excitedly at Lu Guang.

“...Okay.” I’ll just take it as accompanying him , thought Lu Guang as he slowly held onto the horn of the pony and sat down.

The wooden ponies rose and fell, spinning slowly. Cheng Xiaoshi recalled that he had also come to an amusement park once when he was little, and played on the carousel. That day was a sunny one, and the queue of mostly girls continued around half the park. Qiao Ling held his hand and waited two whole hours with him — the hot summer breeze was torture. When it was finally their turn, Cheng Xiaoshi excitedly made to get on the pony, but collided with something.

It was a girl who had run into him. She was a little taller, and put her hands on her hips, looking mean. She said loudly, “This is for girls! I should go first!”

Cheng Xiaoshi was immediately angered, and shouted back, “Who says so? You don’t own the park!”

Qiao Ling heard the commotion and came over, but the carousel had already started to spin. That girl saw an empty seat beside and nabbed it. Qiao Ling asked him what the matter was, but he just shook his head and let go of the pony, and told her, you can play instead.

Whenever he thought back on this, he felt that his younger self was too fixated on those words, and it was quite childish of him. Cheng Xiaoshi turned to the side, his right hand gripping the pole, and leaned out to touch Lu Guang’s arm.

“What are you doing?” Lu Guang tilted his head.

“Nothing, it’s more fun like this.” He leaned out farther, looking like he was about to fall off, and Lu Guang grabbed his hand. He looked surprised. The warmth on his hands melted into a smile on his lips. “Lu Guang, I won’t fall off, I’m holding the pole.”

“Sit properly. It’s ending soon.” Lu Guang turned his head away, but did not let go.

“Nope!” Cheng Xiaoshi felt the warmth slipping away, and held on tighter.

“Let go.” Lu Guang stared at him.

“Be still, it’s ending.”

The carousel made one last round. It was the tenth time that they had passed the two trees leaning together, and they slowed down gradually. Lu Guang pulled his hand away.

“Whoa, I’m kind of dizzy.” Cheng Xiaoshi turned half a round in the opposite direction, and put his sunglasses back on. “Let’s go to the haunted house. It’s just over there.”

“Wait.” Lu Guang stopped him, his eyes darting. “Let’s play something else. Roller coaster or turbo drop — anything is fine.”

Cheng Xiaoshi came close and held his hand to his mouth as if whispering. “What is it, Lu Guang? You’re scared?”

Lu Guang did not admit or deny it. He put the park brochure against Cheng Xiaoshi’s face and walked to the side. “We’ll go on the turbo drop, then the ferris wheel, then we’ll go back.”

“Huh? That’s it?”

“Look at the queue.”

There was almost no ride without a queue. Some queues were so long they were barricaded, and the last person held a “QUEUE END” sign.

In reality, Cheng Xiaoshi was the one who wanted to do the turbo drop. Two weeks ago, he was scrolling through his phone when he suddenly cursed and said that a couple from his class went out to the newly opened amusement park. The facilities were great and so was the experience.

Lu Guang had just returned, and the first thing he saw was Cheng Xiaoshi frustratedly biting on his lollipop and muttering to himself “I wanna go I wanna go I wanna go too, who’ll come with me”. Lu Guang went straight for his desk and arranged his books, but he was suddenly tugged on. He turned around and came face to face with Cheng Xiaoshi’s pleading expression. He said, Lu Guang, won’t you go with me? It’s almost the holidays anyway, and your project surely isn’t that time consuming… This turbo drop looks really exciting.

It was probably just a passing remark, but Lu Guang remembered it. This amusement park was not as fancy as the one Cheng Xiaoshi saw online, but the turbo drop was still hardcore. Lu Guang stepped shakily down, and spent a long time recovering on the bench nearby.

“Are you better now? You should’ve told me you can’t take it, it’s not like I have to go on it no matter what.” Cheng Xiaoshi came back with a bottle of water.

Lu Guang nodded and helped himself up. “Go queue now, it’s getting late. There’s a lot of people at the ferris wheel — if we go any later, there’ll be even more people.”

“But… are we getting on the ferris wheel already? We haven’t seen each other in so long, I haven’t played enough yet,” said Cheng Xiaoshi sadly, but he still followed Lu Guang to the queue.

The sun was almost setting. It hung golden in the sky, blocked out by the ferris wheel, giving it a gold outline.

After they got on the ferris wheel, they sat opposite to each other without a word and watched Guidu under the sunset, feeling warm inside. Cheng Xiaoshi did not turn his head, looking as if he was spacing out. These days, he experienced the familiar university life, so natural as if it was his first life.

He remembered, in the other world, the scene of Lu Guang collapsing in a pool of blood in front of him. Back then, he did nothing. Even when he found out that Lu Guang was his soulmate, the wavering in his heart only continued for a few hours. Now, he never saw the soulmate mark on Lu Guang’s body, but when that bloody scene appeared in his head, he thought, if he had turned around quicker back then, if he was just a little faster and pulled Lu Guang away from danger, would he have lived? His chest tightened and his nose stung, so saddened he couldn’t breathe.

Death invoked so much fear. Cheng Xiaoshi’s breathing quickened. He imagined a hundred different ways to save Lu Guang, but he was forced to accept the truth a hundred times. In that world, Lu Guang was sentenced to death, and he was also his soulmate. He had entered this world without knowing. The fear buried deep inside would sometimes come out and cause his heart to race — what if one day he was transported back with no warning?

Cheng Xiaoshi had a strong feeling of being split apart. He felt like he was a ghost, not belonging here, unable to really touch this world. But everytime he wanted to make sure, he would feel his body, hear his name being called, and see the ground before him. Most importantly, he could feel Lu Guang’s warm fingertips.

The ferris wheel reached the top. Cheng Xiaoshi felt something warm on his face. He whipped his head around and saw Lu Guang sitting beside him and frowning slightly, but his eyes were filled with confusion and worry. His finger touched below his eye, and it felt warm.

“What’s the matter?” Cheng Xiaoshi asked instinctively.

“Do you not want to leave that badly?” Lu Guang pulled back his hand, his finger shining in the setting sun. “You’re crying.”

“Huh?” Cheng Xiaoshi wiped his face, and wetness covered his hands.

“Are you okay? Was the turbo drop too much?”

“No, no.” Cheng Xiaoshi waved his hand. “Maybe it’s because it’s too hot, and I remembered… some not so pleasant memories.” He lowered his head and wiped off the tears.

Why think of these things? Lu Guang is sitting right here, and he’s just fine. Why was he being so negative? Cheng Xiaoshi consoled himself and sniffed. He felt the other inch towards him. It was getting warmer, and his voice sounded closer too.

“Actually… you can talk to me about anything that bothers you. I’m busy, sure, but if it’s about you, I’ll have time to listen.”

For a moment, Cheng Xiaoshi couldn’t believe Lu Guang had just said that. From what he knew, Lu Guang always hid his thoughts deep inside, unable to be figured out. He looked at him, mouth slightly agape and eyes widened, but he couldn’t say anything. At the same time, he felt as if his soul was lifted, and had a place to belong.

“We’re going downwards,” Cheng Xiaoshi said after a moment.

He did not get a reply, and they quietly waited for the ferris wheel to stop.

On the way back, the sky had darkened completely. Cheng Xiaoshi booked a hotel near the research centre, saying he had asked someone else out the next day. So to save money, they took the bus to the stop nearest to the research centre.

Cheng Xiaoshi was dozing off for the entire trip. He looked even more tired than Lu Guang, who had done experiments for seven straight days, and then immediately got dragged out to the park. The trip was shaky. He hung his head, bobbing back and forth. Two stops later, his ear touched a warm shoulder.

Cheng Xiaoshi slept shallowly. In his half-awakeness, he heard someone talking not far away. But he couldn’t make out the words. His consciousness dipped and floated — when there was turbulence, it floated, and when the ride was smooth, it sank slowly.

After a long while, he was woken up gently by a hand shaking him. He rubbed his eye. We’re here, Lu Guang told him.

They alighted together. Even in the dark, Lu Guang was able to tell the way back to the research centre. He led Cheng Xiaoshi along the road. This place was relatively less populated, and it was so quiet they could hear each others’ breathing. The noise of cars driving by were enhanced, seeming even noisier.

Just ahead was Guidu University’s side gate. In that moment, Cheng Xiaoshi’s eyes lit up. For countless days and nights he had his arm around Lu Guang’s shoulders as they walked out from here in search of fun, and returned at night yawning. They walked along this road, and came to the junction ahead. This is where he said many goodbyes to Lu Guang. He would turn right to go home, and Lu Guang would turn left to go to the research centre.

The moonlight today was even more beautiful than ever before. Cheng Xiaoshi recalled what Lu Guang told him on the ferris wheel, and suddenly couldn’t control his smile. He walked behind Lu Guang, and when he looked up, he could see that figure who was always by his side.

“Lu Guang, let’s take a photo!” Cheng Xiaoshi held up his phone, and pulled Lu Guang close. The moment was frozen on the screen just like that.

“Send it to me,” said Lu Guang.

The night breeze was cooling. He fiddled with his phone, standing so close to Lu Guang that he could almost feel their hearts beating in unison. Lu Guang did not push him away, only gazing at him without a word. Cheng Xiaoshi returned his gaze, and they stood there looking into each others’ eyes, neither of them breaking away. A moment like this might never come again.

Cheng Xiaoshi held Lu Guang’s right hand, his eyes shining in the night. He felt the mark on his back heating up. So he asked, “Lu Guang, do you believe in soulmates?”

“You mean the pairs decided by fate?”

“Yeah, that. Come to think of it, you never told me your mark.”

“You never told me yours either,” said Lu Guang. “I know soulmates who are happy together, and soulmates who kept fighting and broke up. I’m not too superstitious about it, but I won’t discredit it completely either.”

“Then… have you ever tried looking for your soulmate?” Cheng Xiaoshi asked carefully.

Lu Guang stopped and glanced at the wrist with the watch on it. He replied, “I never looked. What should appear, will appear eventually.”

“Do you think it’s possible that your soulmate is me?” Cheng Xiaoshi stepped forward. “Lu Guang, what you said earlier — I still remember it.”

“What?” Lu Guang hadn’t realised yet.

“From now on, I’ll have so much more to tell you, will you still be willing to listen?” Cheng Xiaoshi’s gaze seemed to be infused with magic. How could Lu Guang possibly not understand the hidden meaning behind those words? He stood frozen in the spot, his heart beating so loud he was sure the passersby could hear it. He opened his mouth slightly, a thousand words gathering at the back of his throat, but he couldn’t make a sound.

After a short while, Cheng Xiaoshi spoke again. “Lu Guang…the shooting stars will appear soon. Right now, I have something to tell you.”

Lu Guang always had a good sixth sense. He guessed it, but his brain still froze. It was merely one moment, but he saw it clearly. He saw Cheng Xiaoshi open his mouth with difficulty; he saw a bright fiery flare behind him; he saw him collapse on the ground; he saw bright red blood seep out all around him.

His excitement was like a water balloon being stabbed with a knife — the water gushing out in all directions, leaving only an empty deflated shell standing there in terror. The love that was supposed to be embraced, now morphed into blood splattering before his eyes.

He couldn’t hear anything, the scene before him was shaking, and so was his body. Lu Guang’s legs went weak, and he fell onto his knees with a thump, the sticky liquid soaking his pants.

The world was rumbling and collapsing, darkness coming up all around him. He wanted to speak, to scream. Why was there so much blood? What did he need to do for Cheng Xiaoshi to wake up? He dialled 120 with trembling hands. He was still standing there dazed when the ambulance rushed here with its blinding lights.

He must be dreaming, right? Lu Guang managed to recover from his trance after the torchlight shone in his face. His right wrist was burning up, the pain flaring right into the depths of his heart. The paramedics were still trying to stop the bleeding, which was coming mainly from the back of Cheng Xiaoshi’s head. The blood collected into a puddle. Even the experienced paramedics shook their heads upon seeing it.

Why were they shaking their heads? No, impossible, Cheng Xiaoshi couldn’t die. He still has something important unsaid, and I still have so much to tell him. We promised to visit the new pizza place the next time we go out; we promised to meet at least once a month no matter how busy we are; we promised to tell each other if anything happens. If Cheng Xiaoshi isn’t here anymore, who will I tell these to?

The pain on his wrist was like a fire, hurting as if he was being burned alive above a flame. Lu Guang took his watch off and threw it into the grass nearby, his left hand pressing hard on the mark.

Past or future, let it be.

That was the same mark as the one Cheng Xiaoshi had. They were destined soulmates.

The chaos before him made Lu Guang feel like the entire world was spinning. He was losing his balance, his chest was tight and his breathing was laboured. Was the pain at the back of his head real or just his imagination? He could do nothing but watch Cheng Xiaoshi being carried onto the stretcher. The bandages wrapped around him were starting to be soaked, the blood complementing the white bandages.

Cheng Xiaoshi was pushed into the emergency room, with Lu Guang sitting outside in a daze. The sky was completely dark, but the streetlights shone bright as day. He was used to the invasive smell of disinfectant, and buried his face deep into his hands.

Whenever he closed his eyes, Cheng Xiaoshi’s face would appear in his mind. His face was broken, and half of it was bloodstained. The moment the flare had appeared, a sharp fragment of asteroid had plummeted at high speed into Cheng Xiaoshi’s head, and he had blacked out immediately.

These events kept replaying in his head: Cheng Xiaoshi collapsed, and then immediately stood back up with that smile he was so familiar with. He’s going to say it — he’s going to tell Lu Guang “I like you”... Then that asteroid landed, blood splattered, and he collapsed again.

It was laughable. Death by an asteroid collision — such a bizarre accident was rare across the entire world, so why did it happen here of all places?

Lu Guang waited outside the emergency room for a long time. After his body stopped trembling, it was hit by bottomless exhaustion. But he couldn’t sleep — every time he was about to doze off, he would be woken by his body stiffening, rinse and repeat.

The red “OPERATION” light switched off. Lu Guang opened his eyes and tried to stand up, but his legs had been numb for too long, and he fell to his knees. The lead surgeon told him that the patient’s brain was seriously damaged to the point it was almost beyond repair. Even if he were to live, he would be in a vegetative state.

The doctors had no hope in their eyes, or at least that’s what Lu Guang thought. He felt a part of his heart sink into the abyss. Cheng Xiaoshi was transferred to the ICU, and hooked up to many plastic tubes, looking like a marionette.

For the first time, Lu Guang dared not come near. Even when he realised his special feelings towards Cheng Xiaoshi, he was able to face him with no qualms. Back then, Cheng Xiaoshi was still alive and well, and often took him in his arms. He would say “Let’s go out and have fun!”, or he would repeat his name, going “Lu Guang, Lu Guang”.

But now, Lu Guang stood at the door of the hospital room, gazing at Cheng Xiaoshi from behind the blurry glass. His hand rested on the handle, his heart stopping him from pressing down on it, and he didn’t step forward. Lu Guang saw his own reflection as well in the glass — his face was pale and ghastly, the dark rings under his eyes making him look even more lifeless. But it was nothing compared to Cheng Xiaoshi lying inside.

If he didn’t agree to go out with Cheng Xiaoshi, would all of this not have happened? If he was given another chance, he would definitely…

Lu Guang froze on the spot, a thought of saving him appearing in his mind. Two months ago, his research project produced an error. After analysis, they discovered that it was not an error, but a hint of success. Unfortunately, in the month after that, the “error” never appeared again.

That was the only hope. No matter what the price was, he would bear it. If that meant he could save Cheng Xiaoshi.

Do it now, do it now, stop hesitating! A voice urged Lu Guang. He turned around and started to walk. A few steps later, he was running. The way back to the research centre was short as the traffic lights were in his favour. Lu Guang arrived at his lab covered in sweat, and locked the door.

The lab was coincidentally empty. His two groupmates had decided to take a few days off, and Professor Li had gone back home to be with his family. Lu Guang approached the huge contraption and looked up at the old phone.

Save for Professor Li and his groupmates, nobody knew what Lu Guang’s project was about. Professor Li chose his candidates wisely: they were all top students, and often looked like loners, always preferring solitude. Lu Guang abided strictly by Professor Li’s requirements, and spoke of his project to no one, not even the people closest to him.

If he wanted to, Lu Guang could explain his project very simply to someone with no background in physics. Two words: time travel. Right in front of him was a machine to make time travel possible. It involved complex quantum mechanics, relativity and gravitational theory. Lu Guang was proficient in theory, and had his ideas in the academic field. Perhaps he was less good at the practical parts than his schoolmates studying mechanical engineering, but a small half of the theory in this project was contributed by him.

In an experiment two months ago, disorder appeared among the messages in the old phone. After eliminating all the other possibilities, there was only one answer left. Lu Guang found his notebook filled with scribbles. There were many skewed lines of equations and circled words.

The message in the phone was sent to the past, causing a ripple in spacetime that affected the entire region.

At the time, Professor Li was not around. Only Lu Guang and a bespectacled girl were doing the experiments. The vanished message was sent three years ago, all the way back. Lu Guang went to check, but saw no change in the number of messages. Some time after that, when he was alone in the lab and studying it, he realised that the message sent three years ago was gone, and at the very front appeared a message that was sent on the day of the experiment, but the timestamp indicated that it was sent three years ago.

This incident was like seeing the dawn light in the endless night. Thousands of years of research, and now there was a breakthrough right here, in the hands of a university student. Lu Guang told no one. He thought it was just good luck. The experiment on that day was just a routine test after adjusting the parameters, and it was the exact same result as the day before. After which, countless more experiments were done, and it proved him right. No matter how much he scrolled through the some hundred messages, the miracle didn’t happen again.

Then, will he succeed this time? Lu Guang clasped his hands together on his chest, and prayed with his eyes closed. Let me succeed once more, just once, I want to save Cheng Xiaoshi.

When he opened those dark eyes again, there was determination in them. He took the phone off, and replaced it with his right hand. His left hand reached for the cold lever.

If he failed, it would just hurt a little, but he would remain in this world. If he succeeded, he might go back one day, or three days, or one week, one month, maybe even one year… Any second before Cheng Xiaoshi was assaulted would do.

Lu Guang held his breath, and pulled down the lever sharply. Pain shot up from his hand and spread to his arm, shoulders, chest, legs, feet… His consciousness wavered, heart beating so fast he struggled to breathe. His body went numb and he couldn’t move, and his right hand hurt so bad, it felt like it was going to come off.

The pain seemed to last for a century, until the machine stopped and the light faded. Lu Guang collapsed on the ground, his body still numb and his right hand spasming. Eyes still open, he struggled against the numbness for a long minute, and finally staggered up.

He switched on the lights and saw that he was still in the lab. Lu Guang opened the computer beside, and his hand touched a cold object. His phone. He turned on the screen, and his breathing stopped for a second.

The date and time showed 23rd August, Wednesday.

He did it. He really did it!

Lu Guang stared in disbelief at his hands. Even though his right hand was still slightly numb, he smiled. He unlocked his phone in a hurry, and saw the chat history displaying Cheng Xiaoshi’s texts.

Cheng Xiaoshi: Lu Guang, are you done with your experiments

Cheng Xiaoshi: Remember we’re going to the park tomorrow

Cheng Xiaoshi: Don’t forget

Cheng Xiaoshi: If you stand me up, I’ll

Lu Guang smiled. It was only three days without seeing him, but seeing the messages jump out like rabbits, his eyes stung.

Cheng Xiaoshi, this time, you have to be alright.

He thought this, and sat down thinking about how to rewrite everything. Of course they must avoid the amusement park, but if he said this directly Cheng Xiaoshi would definitely rebel — he might even go with someone else. The concept of timeline convergence — that is, the rule that the timeline’s fixed events will always occur — was of course clear to Lu Guang, but it just meant that he should be all the more careful.

Two hours later, Lu Guang’s notebook had a perfect plan written on it, so detailed that there were things to take note of listed at the back. He exhaled, and pinched the bridge of his nose as he took deep breaths.

This was the safest plan, and possibly the only one. Lu Guang replied to Cheng Xiaoshi with “See you tomorrow” and laid out the foldable beds in the lab.

All night long he tossed and turned. When he was awake, he simulated his plan in his head. When he was asleep, he was plagued by dreams. He had to make sure everything went according to plan. At 4AM, Lu Guang finally fell asleep.

The consequence of losing sleep was being late. The alarm clock failed to wake him. When he opened his eyes, a pair of hands were waving in front of him.

“Hey, Lu Guang, you’re awake.” The voice talking seemed unhappy.

Lu Guang sat up abruptly and looked at Cheng Xiaoshi. “What time is it?”

“Let’s see… It’s already way past eleven. You didn’t reply to my messages and didn’t pick up my calls. I thought something happened and rushed here, but you’re still sleeping. Pisses me off.” Cheng Xiaoshi folded his arms and pouted, looking sideways at Lu Guang. He saw him laugh. “You’re laughing! What’s so funny?”

“Long time no see, Cheng Xiaoshi,” Lu Guang said after a while.

“The park’s out of the question — it would take at least three hours to go there. How about we do something else?” Cheng Xiaoshi took out his phone to search.

His plans had been foiled. Lu Guang folded his blankets slowly, thinking to take it one step at a time. As long as it wasn’t nighttime yet, they were safe.

“Hurry up, I heard from a friend that there are going to be shooting stars tonight, we can go and watch them. It seems that this spot is perfect for viewing. We got lucky.” Cheng Xiaoshi came close. “Until then, let’s play video games!”

“Why waste time on video games on a good day like this.” Lu Guang seemed to remember something, and while Cheng Xiaoshi changed his clothes, he quickly walked up to the desk and stuffed the notebook with his plans into the drawer.

“Then what do you say we do?” Cheng Xiaoshi sat on the office chair with wheels and slid over to him.

“The shooting stars you mentioned are nothing special. They might just be space junk flying past.”

“Who are you kidding? I don’t believe it! They’ve at least gotta be fragments from other planets.” Cheng Xiaoshi was cheery as he spun in the chair and just missed Lu Guang’s dangling hand. “When it gets dark, let’s go to the small path outside the lab. I checked it on my way here — no buildings or trees in the way. It’s the perfect viewing spot.”

“No! We can’t go!” Lu Guang turned his head, his eyes hidden.

Cheng Xiaoshi stopped spinning. “Why not?”

“We just can’t. Because…” Because you will die. How could he say this reason out loud? Even if Lu Guang told the truth about him coming from another timeline to save him, Cheng Xiaoshi would never believe him. Lu Guang inhaled deeply and said, “Because there won’t be any shooting stars tonight. It’s all fake news. It’s safest to leave this place.”

Cheng Xiaoshi was stunned. He looked at Lu Guang in disbelief. “You’re saying he lied to me? Lu Guang, we haven’t seen each other in a month. When I message you, you only reply at night. When I learnt that you’d be free, I stayed at home for a few days planning where to go. Too far and you won’t be able to get back in time later. The bookshop seemed too boring. In the end, I recalled that you said going to the amusement park was fine too, which is why I suggested it. But you ended up oversleeping and missing my messages and calls, and I was worried something happened to you and came here immediately. Now we can’t go to the park. Can we not even go see the shooting stars?”

“I didn’t mean it like that… it’s just…” Faced with Cheng Xiaoshi’s irritation, Lu Guang scrambled to explain, but did not know where to start.

“Just what?” Cheng Xiaoshi was taller than him. His eyes stared hard into him, as if they would poke a hole through.

Lu Guang couldn’t speak. His guilt and fear made him draw a blank. Oversleeping was indeed on him. Cheng Xiaoshi did not know the truth, so it was justifiable for him to complain, but he was more afraid of Cheng Xiaoshi dying again.

“Forget it.” Cheng Xiaoshi snorted coldly. “I know you’re busy, you need a break. Plus, I’ve already gone out with all my other friends, so how can I leave you behind? Now I see you don’t feel the same. Guess I’ll just leave.”

He turned and left. He slammed the door on his way out, the loud bang making Lu Guang jump.

It’s okay. Cheng Xiaoshi will probably go back to his hotel room. Later, I’ll explain everything to him and buy him milk tea, and everything will be fine , thought Lu Guang as he looked out the window. The sunlight was bright outside, and it still felt like he was living in a dream.

Today’s weather was the same as he remembered, but his heart wouldn’t calm down. Lu Guang picked up his phone, thinking of sending Cheng Xiaoshi a message telling him not to leave his hotel room. Suddenly, he heard a huge crash behind him, and the siren of cars.

Sunlight pierced through the window. Lu Guang turned around, and squinted his eyes. Through the blur, he saw a familiar figure lying down on the ground downstairs. It was only a black spot, but he saw it clearly.

It was Cheng Xiaoshi. The timeline had converged again.

He rushed downstairs, where a small crowd had gathered. Someone had dialled 120. Blood seeped out from the back of his head, spreading along the cracks of the bumpy cement road. People backed away when the blood reached their feet. Only Lu Guang stepped forward. His face was twisted into grief — the sense of grief after his hope died out and was replaced by endless fear.

Any amount of theorising was useless in the face of the truth. Lu Guang knelt on the ground, the pain on his wrist forcing him to focus on what’s before his eyes. Blood soaked into his white pants. Without a care for anything else, he pulled Cheng Xiaoshi into his arms, murmuring, “I’m sorry, I failed, I’m sorry”.

By the time the ambulance arrived, the words on Lu Guang’s wrist were completely gone, leaving behind only a burning pain. He did not wait for the paramedics to lift Cheng Xiaoshi onto a stretcher. He turned around and ran for the lab.

If it fails this time, then return to the more distant past and try again. There would definitely be a point in time he would be able to break the butterfly’s wings, and change everything.

The phone was missing from the time machine. Lu Guang held that empty space, gritted his teeth, and pushed the lever. The familiar pain and numbness went through his hand. In his daze, he felt like the pain carried on for even longer this time, and his consciousness was pulled even deeper into the abyss.

When he opened his eyes again, the white light above was blinding, so he had to roll over. The feeling of numbness in his right palm was even worse. There seemed to be a very shallow scar. He sat himself up — this place was not the lab, it was the dorm. He found his phone under the pillow and unlocked it.

16th August, 3:16PM.

Seven days before the initial time. It was the holidays, and he was the only one in the dorm. Disordered memories came back to him — in the following week, he was only able to see Cheng Xiaoshi online.

The time machine worked two times in a row. Should he consider it lucky or unlucky? Lu Guang came to the lab, and saw his two groupmates there. They greeted him and returned to doing their own things. Lu Guang followed his usual routine, revising the experiments from yesterday and making changes to the mechanism according to his notes.

Lu Guang had a good memory. He remembered all the complicated wirings. He knew the only way to trigger the time machine: They had been wrong from the start. They thought the electromagnetic waves from sending text messages on the phone was essential, but in reality, it caused disturbance and obstructed quantum information transfer.

So after Lu Guang set up the wires, he removed the part connecting to the phone. Immediately, the entire mechanism decreased in size, becoming as small as a typewriter.

“Lu Guang, what are you doing?” The mechanical engineering girl pointed at the machine and asked.

“Trying something,” he replied.

“But how are we going to observe the results?” The other guy, also a Physics major, looked surprised at the vastly different machine.

“We’ll try a different way.” Lu Guang looked around and retrieved a globe from the shelf. He put it where the phone used to be. “If this works, the globe will disappear.”

“Will this really work? But our existing research hasn’t completely confirmed the parallel universe theory, plus, without the electromagnetic waves, how…” The guy adjusted his glasses and questioned him.

“In our previous experiments, we never thought of removing the phone, because we hoped that the electromagnetic waves would form a hadron collider and produce a small-scale black hole here. But we failed. So why not try a different method?” Lu Guang explained with his hand on the lever. He glanced at the top of the mechanism. This was all part of his plan — it would definitely work. He gripped the lever.

“Wait,” the girl piped up. She stood at the side and held up a wire that hung loose, and plugged it into the only socket available on the mechanism. “This came loose.”

I was discovered? That was observant of her. The surprise flashed only momentarily across Lu Guang’s face. He inhaled deeply and pushed the lever slowly…

The light from the electricity carried on for ten seconds, and the globe fell onto the floor with a crash, slitting open.

“Looks like the collision between the two types of electromagnetic waves is still needed. My guess was correct,” said the other guy as he connected the phone back to the mechanism.

Lu Guang said nothing, and walked to the computer to simulate the experiment. Of course he couldn’t let the experiment succeed. If the globe really disappeared, Professor Li would rush back overnight, and he might take the machine away. If his plans were to fail again, how would Lu Guang go back in time? So he connected the wires wrong on purpose, and made them “come loose”, so that the truth about the altered connections would be covered up even if that were to be discovered.

For the next two days, Lu Guang went to the lab less frequently, and he would reply to Cheng Xiaoshi’s messages quickly. Every time his phone vibrated, he would set aside what he was doing and open the chat log with that dog icon. Cheng Xiaoshi often shared interesting stuff he saw online, or gossip he heard from friends. Lu Guang used to be uninterested in such things, but this time, he replied to each message earnestly.

Cheng Xiaoshi: Lu Guang, you seem so free these days, you even watched all the dog videos I sent you

Lu Guang: The experiments haven’t been progressing lately

Cheng Xiaoshi: Really? Usually when that happens you just sleep in the lab and never come back to the dorm

Lu Guang: Is that so? I don’t remember

Cheng Xiaoshi: Don’t play dumb!

Lu Guang didn’t reply. He stared at his phone for a long while, but didn’t get any more messages from Cheng Xiaoshi. He was so on edge, it felt like every one of his nerve endings was hung and calibrated to the most sensitive they could be. Every night when he closed his eyes, he would see the bloody corpse and startle himself awake, finding his body soaked in sweat. The night was torture. Lu Guang couldn’t sleep, so he listened to the crickets outside and stared at the ceiling until dawn.

The phone screen still did not light up. Talkative as Cheng Xiaoshi was, he would not just send a single “Don’t play dumb”. He would send a ton of messages, and even start a video call if Lu Guang did not reply.

But not today. Lu Guang’s eyebrows scrunched harder and harder, his finger hovering above the screen and hesitating. Messaging so frequently was too unlike him usually, and he had already noticed it. He just wanted to pass this difficult time, and wanted a better future for Cheng Xiaoshi, so he could live the life he wanted. He might just be replying slowly because he’s outside, so Lu Guang told himself.

Just as he put down the phone, it rang. Lu Guang picked up the phone, still warm from use — a video call from Cheng Xiaoshi.

He saw Cheng Xiaoshi’s big face right in the camera as he answered. He lifted his head and smiled. “Yo, Lu Guang, you’ve really got nothing to do.”

His voice sounded a little far away, but his tone was that familiar sun-kissed warmth. Lu Guang was a little disoriented. He reached out his hand, wanting to touch that soft face.

“What’s the matter? Got bullied while researching?” Cheng Xiaoshi’s voice rang again, leaning even closer.

“Huh? Bullied?” Lu Guang retracted his hand.

“Your expression looks off. Did something bad happen?” Cheng Xiaoshi became serious.

“No.” Lu Guang stared instead at the calendar on his desk, continuing after a while, “It’s just… the experiments haven’t been going well.”

Cheng Xiaoshi pulled the camera away. “I thought so. Well, it’s just an experiment, it’s not like you have to succeed no matter what. You said this was a difficult project, so there’s no way Professor Li would give mere uni students such a hard time, right? Look how thin you’ve become. Should I send you some snacks? The dried beef sold here is delicious, you should bring some back to your lab to snack on when you’re hungry. It’s convenient too.”

He talked on and on. From food to leisure, he chatted about everything. Lu Guang listened quietly, sometimes chiming in with a word or two. It was as if he had really gone back to a month ago, back when the only escape from the loneliness and boredom of doing experiments by himself was when he got to chat with Cheng Xiaoshi. They interacted through the screen, sometimes texting, sometimes calling. Seeing that face, Lu Guang spoke more than usual.

“Lu Guang, shall we go out together sometime? When you’re free.” Cheng Xiaoshi’s camera shook as the background moved and stopped in front of the sofa. There came the rustle of plastic.

“I’ll look at my schedule. I might not be free.”

“You’re kidding! You’re so free these days. No, we must go out once this vacation period.” Cheng Xiaoshi stuffed a chip into his mouth and said, “I heard the stores at school are closed. Can you still buy chips?”

“Of course not. But the delivery collection centre is still open, so I can buy them online.”

“Oh~” Cheng Xiaoshi grinned mischievously and waved the bag of chips. “So you can only watch me eat them for now!”

“...Idiot.”

So they chatted idly for some time. Cheng Xiaoshi couldn’t hold his tongue and shared gossip about some seniors, and that he heard there would be a very pretty girl in the next batch of freshmen, with many people asking for her WeChat before school had even started. Lu Guang listened quietly. In the end, Cheng Xiaoshi asked him, when can we meet again?

Lu Guang said, let’s do tomorrow.

“Not tomorrow. The neighbours’ kid is going to attend a holiday class, and his parents are both on a business trip. They asked me and Qiao Ling to take care of him tomorrow. If only you were here, then I could leave him to you and go out to have fun.” Cheng Xiaoshi smiled, a little downcast. He always believed Lu Guang made a better babysitter than him.

“Then you can contact me after you’re free.” Lu Guang passed the choice to him.

“Eh, I thought you’re busy? How come I get to choose the time?” Cheng Xiaoshi asked in confusion.

“We don’t need to do experiments every single day. Sometimes it takes time to think of the next modification, and we also have to do deeper theory study. You find time first, then I’ll see if I’m free,” explained Lu Guang patiently.

Naturally, Cheng Xiaoshi agreed. But after he was done babysitting, he was asked to do piloting for a video game for a day, and made some money. Seeing that the week was almost up, Lu Guang called Cheng Xiaoshi directly, early in the morning.

The phone rang for quite a while before it was picked up. The ringtone played on repeat, then came Cheng Xiaoshi’s sleepy voice. He yawned and asked, who is it?

“Me.”

“Huh? Lu… Lu Guang?” His voice perked up immediately. Seems like he was fully awake.

“It’s me.”

“Why the sudden call? It’s way too early in the morning, and you woke me up.” He sighed.

Lu Guang glanced at his watch. It was already 21st August — one day from that fateful day. He asked, “Are you busy for the next few days?”

“No. Why? Do you want to go out together?” Cheng Xiaoshi smiled. After hearing no response for a while, he said seriously, “Lu Guang, there’s definitely something off about you these past months! You were never like this before!”

“That’s not true. Every month I invite you out for a meal. You’re the one who doesn’t remember.” After unconsciously exposing his little secret, Lu Guang startled himself, and then sighed. Whatever. The next time he tells him these, it might not be the same Cheng Xiaoshi anymore.

“Oh, is that so. Alright, let me look at my schedule.” After the sound of rustling paper, Cheng Xiaoshi came back to the mic. “I’m free on the 24th and 23rd. Any ideas where we could go? I couldn’t possibly come look for you at the research centre, could I.”

“No!” Lu Guang stood up, his eyes wide. Realising that he overreacted, he lowered his voice and explained, “I’m not free on those days, but before then, we need to meet.”

“Huh? Why? Tomorrow I’m going to attend a rooftop painting activity, and the day after…”

“If you can’t make it here, I’ll just go to you.”

“Lu Guang, what’s the matter with you? You’re so worked up.”

He couldn’t drag this on any longer, or the timeline was going to converge again. He must rewrite everything before that. Lu Guang gripped his phone with trembling hands. He lifted his eyes and saw himself in the mirror — his face was pale, there were huge dark circles under his eyes, his eyes were bloodshot, and shallow scars were visible on his wrist.

He can’t waste any more time, so he warned himself.

“I’ll leave tomorrow morning, and reach by noon.”

“Are you being serious? I’m really far away, how are you getting here?”

“By bus. Public transport.”

Cheng Xiaoshi couldn’t say no, because Lu Guang never gave him the option to. He couldn’t sleep for the whole night again, and crawled up as the alarm clock struck 7:00. He was so tired, but when he thought about what he had to do today, he felt weighed down by a huge load — he had to get up no matter what.

Guidu University was situated in a fairly remote mountainous area, some distance away from the busy city centre. The research centre was nearby, but it still took twenty minutes to walk to school from there. During the summer vacation, only prospective seniors and a few other year students stayed in school. The school bus schedule was also changed from six buses daily to three. If you missed a bus, you’d have to wait over two hours for the next one.

Along the way, Lu Guang kept sending messages to Cheng Xiaoshi, who replied very slowly, probably because he was busy attending the event. Seeing the view outside change from trees to skyscrapers, Lu Guang put his phone away and closed his eyes.

No matter how smooth the cement road was, the ride on the old bus was bound to be turbulent. At night, lying on a flat bed, Lu Guang could never control his overthinking. But now, he felt lulled in the slightly noisy and shaky environment. In a matter of minutes, he sank into a deep sleep.

This was the longest and best sleep he’s had in days. The bumpy braking didn’t wake him, and his dreams were free of death. He slept easily, like he had returned to his mother’s arms.

The bus came to the last stop, and Lu Guang woke up. He rubbed his eyes and took out his phone immediately, but there were no new messages. He alighted and opened the map, following the GPS for ten minutes. The liveliness of the city was weighed down by the tall buildings and buried deep within the ground.

Lu Guang transferred to the train service. Eight stops and nine minutes of walking later, he would arrive at Cheng Xiaoshi’s location. It would take about an hour.

The building on which the rooftop painting activity was held was the tallest one around. You could see the huge advertisement board from afar. Lu Guang got off the train and walked outside. The sun was too bright, or maybe he was just so tired, and he felt dizzy and weak. He started sweating quickly under the heat, so he leaned against the wall of the station to recover.

In his mind, he had already come up with a complete plan. Lu Guang would bring Cheng Xiaoshi to the photo studio to hide for some time, during which all outdoor activity would be done by Lu Guang. He even thought of how to convince Cheng Xiaoshi to stay willingly in the studio. As long as they meet, he will be able to ensure Cheng Xiaoshi’s safety.

When he was almost there, he saw people crowding around the foot of a building.

Just for a moment, Lu Guang had a bad feeling about this. He rushed up and pried open the crowd, coming to the centre of the incident… It’s starting again. Cheng Xiaoshi lay there quietly, and a sharp pain stung at his wrist.

“It’s so scary. Five minutes ago, this young man fell from above.”

“Huh? How? Was he murdered, or…?”

“Not sure, but it looks like an accident.”

The sounds of the crowd discussing blended together. Accident or murder — Lu Guang had no interest in finding out. The only thing he knew was that Cheng Xiaoshi’s death was certain. He had failed again, and everything had ended up wrong again.

This time, Lu Guang left without even waiting for the ambulance to come. He doesn’t know how he managed to support himself onto the taxi. The only thought in his mind: Return to the research centre, and rewind time again.

Lu Guang’s entire body was cold, having just transferred from a hot environment to one with an air conditioner. He shook uncontrollably; despair and loss enveloped him like thistles and thorns, as if his skin would break and bleed if he moved even slightly. He buried his face in his palms, wanting to scream, but tears came out instead.

The driver saw him curled up on the backseat, and asked if he was cold. The air conditioner was set higher and the air vents were swiped closed.

The tears wouldn’t stop once they started. His wrist hurt so much, as did his chest. The tears slid, salty, into his mouth, the fragrance in the air was mint flavoured, the hands before him were stripped of strength, and the breeze beside his ears was feather-light. But when the images flashed in his mind, all his senses stopped working. Lu Guang felt like he was dragged into a trap, where it was dark all around and so quiet that his ears rang. No matter how he yelled, nobody answered. Here, time did not flow— even if it did, he couldn’t feel it.

How long until he was free of all this? How many more times before he could see hope? No one could give him the answer.

He returned to the research centre in a daze. The screen in the lab broadcasted the noon news, the host standing in front of a tall building and describing a fated accident. Lu Guang did not throw her even a single glance as he walked past.

He came directly to the mechanism, took off the redundant part, connected the wires, and reached out his hand.

9th August — Cheng Xiaoshi died from a car accident on 23rd August.

2nd August — Cheng Xiaoshi’s plane crashed on 24th August.

26th July — Cheng Xiaoshi died saving two drowning kids on 22nd August.

…

Lu Guang lost count of how many times he activated the machine. The skewed lines of the scars on his palm seemed to carve into the shape of a rose. Just three minutes ago, he once again saw Cheng Xiaoshi lying in a pool of blood. He seemed to be swallowed up by sorrow and numbed down — his face showed no emotion.

The machine was activated again. This time, Lu Guang awoke in a train tunnel. He fished out his phone from his pocket and a popup message appeared.

“The funeral shall be held on the 16th, at 3:00PM, near Guidu University…”

Lu Guang hurriedly scrolled down. At the very end of the article, there was a blurred out photo of the accident. The camera captured the victim collapsed on the ground. Even with the censoring, the white hair was hard to miss. Lu Guang frowned and thought something amiss. He zoomed in, but still couldn’t make out the victim’s face, only the blood stains. Just as he was about to close the article, he saw the victim’s right hand. He, too, had on a black digital watch.

A blood-chilling thought appeared in Lu Guang’s mind, and he felt terror crawl down his spine. The victim of the fatal car accident was none other than the Lu Guang of this world!

Lu Guang was dead. Then, how long could he exist here? Cold sweat formed on his forehead, and he could only see faraway light at the end of the train tunnel. He cannot expose himself in public.

But… 16th June… Why was the date so familiar? Lu Guang frowned as he exited the tunnel into the light. He didn’t think much of it. The urgent matter right now was to disguise himself.

This was a relatively rural area. Lu Guang looked up and saw an expressway above. If he walked along it, he would definitely reach the city, maybe even encounter a roadside seller.

Lu Guang thought himself lucky — he had been walking for less than half an hour, and saw an old person selling fruits on the roadside. There were a few face masks beside the fruit baskets, but they were not for sale. Lu Guang covered his nose and mouth and pretended to be sick, squeezing his voice to make it sound hoarse. The old person ended up agreeing, but the price was slightly expensive.

He couldn’t hitch a ride on the expressway, and the signal was bad. Lu Guang had no choice but to walk along the road. The weather was extremely hot, and he was sweating all over. His throat was so dry it felt like smoking up, beads of sweat dripped from his hair, and his legs felt endlessly heavy, requiring all his strength to take the next step.

Seeing the sun almost disappear behind the horizon, Lu Guang finally couldn’t take it anymore, and sat down on the ground. There were very few cars on the expressway, it being close to a remote villa. He took out his phone and reread that article, and saw a photo, the funeral location written in the small caption.

This space looked familiar, but he couldn’t remember where it was.

16th June… near Guidu University…

He remembered going out to do experiments that day. That’s right! It was that time of the experimental miracle. The location lined up too. But this place didn’t seem to be affected… Hold on! After so many rewinds, Lu Guang gradually realised something was wrong with Cheng Xiaoshi. Starting from mid July, he would sometimes smile stiffly at him, and be weirdly careful with his words. Then he returned to normal at the end of July.

With all these clues in mind, could it be that starting from mid July, the Cheng Xiaoshi that was always beside him wasn’t the same person anymore?

It was a bold guess, but to Lu Guang it was completely possible. He had dived so many times and witnessed tens of deaths of Cheng Xiaoshi. Right now, his only wish was to save him. He even went as far as to break the rules of the universe, and who knows what heavy price he would pay for it. What else was impossible?

If so, he must keep Cheng Xiaoshi far away from the location of that funeral.

With that goal in mind, Lu Guang propped himself upright and walked on. The mask made him sweat even more, his exhales coming out from the arch resting on the bridge of his nose. Even with the sun already set, his back was sweat-soaked.

The light from the sun disappeared beyond the edge of the sky, turning into light from a distant car. Lu Guang was invited on board by a middle aged foreign couple who claimed to be tourists. They saw him walking alone in the night, so they decided to pick him up on the way since they were headed for the city as well.

This couple didn’t alienate Lu Guang, instead treating him as a friend. In the car, they sang and did little dances. But he was too tired. After having a small piece of bread and some water, Lu Guang relaxed his nerves temporarily and fell into a deep sleep.

When he awoke, the view outside had become tall buildings and pedestrian crossings. The couple told him, you’ve been asleep for ten hours. Now it’s 8:30 in the morning. Where are you going next?

Lu Guang told them to drop him off anywhere, and paid them a hefty sum for the ride.

Where could Cheng Xiaoshi be? Lu Guang passed by a shop window and saw his reflection — he seemed to look less tired.  He bought some loose clothes and a sort of goofy-looking pair of children’s sunglasses. He couldn’t keep the wristwatch anymore, so he threw it away, and noticed that the mark on his wrist was gone, but it never hurt.

The photo studio was not far, just three bus stops down. Lu Guang gathered his courage and turned the street corner, but saw that the studio was closed. He could only wander around aimlessly, hoping for a stroke of luck.

The air conditioner in the big mall was too alluring. Who could resist the temptation, especially on such a hot day like this? Lu Guang was no different. He couldn’t take the heat. Sunbathing on the sofa was comfortable, but being exposed under the hot sun wasn’t. He went in and walked around, felt thirsty, and went to buy a drink.

Just then, he glimpsed a figure in his peripheral vision, and his heart started racing. Without meaning to, he turned around and saw the person holding up his phone in the cafe.

It was Cheng Xiaoshi.

Lu Guang panicked, and pulled down his hat and left quickly. He came to the stairs, but heard footsteps chasing after him, coming closer and closer.

He’s been discovered? Lu Guang quickened his pace and pulled up his mask even more. He took a bend around the stairs, and heard a voice calling out to him, “Hey, wait!” Lu Guang’s motion stalled for a moment as he slowed down.

Is there another way? If I stop now and explain everything to Cheng Xiaoshi, will he believe me? Lu Guang only hesitated for one moment before sprinting again. He tried to blend in with the crowd, but Cheng Xiaoshi was far fitter than him. It was only a matter of time before he gets caught.

The moment he thought this, Lu Guang was pulled to a stop. Cheng Xiaoshi’s warmth flowed to his wrist. He couldn’t take another step. They were both exhausted, especially Lu Guang. His chest rose and fell sharply as he panted, unable to say a word. But he did not need to. He was waiting for Cheng Xiaoshi’s voice.

But after a long while, both of them were still silent.

“Cheng Xiaoshi, let me go.”

“Who are you?” Cheng Xiaoshi stared hard at him, his expression shifting from shock to fear.

Lu Guang breathed in deeply. “That’s not important. But I know what you’re planning to do next.” Cheng Xiaoshi cocked his head and said nothing. Lu Guang had no choice but to reveal the answer, “You cannot go to Lu Guang’s funeral.”

“Lu Guang… Is he the victim of that car accident?”

“That’s not important. Anyway, you cannot go.” Lu Guang felt as if there was a fire burning in his chest.

“I wasn’t planning to. I just happened to pass that junction and witness the accident.” Cheng Xiaoshi seemed a little wary, and not one bit like he was joking.

“What?” Lu Guang was always quick to react, and his gut feeling was often accurate too. Cheng Xiaoshi’s words resolved all the questions and loose ends for Lu Guang.

So that was it. So everything was because of him. Lu Guang retreated, feeling a strong sense of powerlessness eat him up, weaving itself into a thick web and latching onto him tightly.

“Hey, are you okay?”

Cheng Xiaoshi put his hand on his shoulder. Lu Guang twitched, and grabbed Cheng Xiaoshi’s shoulders, a last sliver of hope in his eyes. His next words were half order and half plead: “You cannot go! Do you hear me? I don’t want…I don’t want to see that again…”

He didn’t expect Cheng Xiaoshi to agree anymore. He should’ve known that this was fate he could not rewrite. But he felt a hand on him, and that voice he’d been missing told him gently, “I got it.”

Just as he said that, before Lu Guang could even see Cheng Xiaoshi’s expression, he was thrown into darkness. His consciousness lost contact with the outside world. In the last moment he was awake, Lu Guang felt as if he was afloat, then he landed hard. When he opened his eyes again —

7th June. The rewind started again, never to end.

Falling from a height, car accident, excessive blood loss… Cheng Xiaoshi collapsed again and again before him, his blood splattering on the face that was once terrified but now numb. His vision was only blurry. First time, second time, third time…sixteen, seventeen, eighteen…sixty-six, sixty-seven, sixty-eight…one hundred and three, one hundred and four… how many times already? He’s long forgotten.

Lu Guang tried countless times, but it all ended with Cheng Xiaoshi walking into the affected region and meeting the same fate. He often wondered if he’d already missed the best opportunity, and that hope was fainter and more bleak the more he turned back time. Maybe changing the timeline where Lu Guang died had been the only chance.

Once again, Cheng Xiaoshi died before him. There had never been any exceptions. He was long used to the searing pain on his wrist, and not even a sliver of sadness was left on his face. He just stared expressionlessly at it all burning down. He had developed muscle memory — push the lever, fail, push the lever again, and if he failed again, then he would push once more, never stopping.

This was self torture — he could not escape it. But… it was for him. For the person he would not give up on even after tens of thousands of attempts. Cheng Xiaoshi.

Lu Guang’s hands were covered in wounds. If his right hand hurt too much, then he’d use his left. Time was rewound slower and slower, from the initial one-week rewind to one-day rewind. As he went back further and further, his memories with Cheng Xiaoshi gradually approached zero.

Alas, the day came. Lu Guang forever remembered the bright sunlight that day, the lively basketball court — his first encounter with Cheng Xiaoshi.

In the endless dives back in time, Lu Guang had already realised a fact that he was unwilling to admit: If they never met, Cheng Xiaoshi would not step into the loop and be taken by death time and time again.

Goal! The basketball court burst out in cheers. Cheng Xiaoshi wiped his sweat and gave his teammates a thumbs-up. Lu Guang smiled without realising. He wanted to stand here for a while, just a little while, before leaving.

Lu Guang’s eyes reflected Cheng Xiaoshi’s figure as he scored. He closed his eyes and turned around, his shoulders trembling, and walked towards the teaching building. In his many dives, he had learnt to put on an act nobody could see through. He vanished around the corner, just like any other student passing by the courts.

The images of the time he spent together with Cheng Xiaoshi in those thousands of worlds appeared before him.

High-fiving him on the courts smelling of rain-soaked mud and the fragrance of flowers, exchanging a look and passing the ball to he who trusted him the same, scoring the goal; not caring about the hot sun outside, noisily riding the bicycle with him towards the nearest mall, only to get a bite of the latest flavour of popsicle; walking with his arms around his shoulders on the small path showered in the golden sunset after school, and turning around to see the sun seeming to exist within his eyes; falling asleep in class and sensing something from his peripheral vision and looking out the window, to see him waving his arms down there wildly, smiling so hard dimples appeared on his cheeks.

So many seasons they had spent together, so how could he possibly go back to a world where he’s all alone? Lu Guang stopped in his tracks, and realised his face was covered in tears. He badly wanted to turn back and run for the basketball court, that place where they were destined to meet, catch the ball Cheng Xiaoshi threw at him, and start a new life full of hope.

No matter what he chose, a bleak future awaited. Lu Guang stood there and wiped his face, but how would you wipe dry endless tears?

Every person will have a life of their own. Even without Lu Guang, Cheng Xiaoshi’s life will be full of colour and beauty. Because to Lu Guang, wherever he went, he brought vibrance and energy to the world around him.

Lu Guang did not turn back. He dug his nails into his palms, and passed up his encounter with Cheng Xiaoshi.

Sometimes he’d glimpse from afar that silhouette he kept close to his heart. Lu Guang only dared to stand there and look. If he walked up to him right now and said, hey, let’s be friends, Cheng Xiaoshi would be startled, but wouldn’t reject him. Their lives would intertwine just like before, and they would become two inseparable figures at school. But he couldn’t. So Lu Guang imagined in his mind encounter after encounter. In the end, he would always turn away with resolution, and go in the opposite direction.

He inserted the only picture of the two of them into his notebook. The photo was dark, Cheng Xiaoshi had his arms around Lu Guang’s shoulder and was smiling at the camera. Shooting stars seemed to graze past in his eyes, bright and full of hope.

After graduation, he never saw Cheng Xiaoshi again. That photo was the last time they appeared in the same place.

He thought absence would make the heart grow colder, and he would be able to forget him. But when summer came, Lu Guang found himself buying another orange-coffee flavoured popsicle. He rejected the opportunity for graduate studies after he graduated, and found work in a photo studio, only that this photo studio was very very far from the one owned by Cheng Xiaoshi and Qiao Ling.

One day, the studio was closed. For no reason in particular, Lu Guang decided to take a walk outside, and he took the bus to a familiar place. He doesn’t remember if he’s ever been here before. Perhaps in one of the many timelines, he had once stepped onto this street too.

The green light flashed, and the red light came on. Pedestrians stopped to let cars pass. Clear memories seeped slowly into Lu Guang’s mind. It’s been so many years since he last came here, so it’s no surprise he doesn’t remember it well. Three junctions ahead was where Time Photo Studio was located. If Cheng Xiaoshi were in there, he would probably be gaming on the sofa right now.

Lu Guang smiled to himself, and looked up, helpless. At that moment, a familiar figure seemed to appear in the crowd, and he felt a heavy hit to his heart.

Is that… Cheng Xiaoshi?

It’s been years — the timeline must have long since shifted to a completely different track. If he comes to know him now, will there be a completely different ending?

The red light flashed, and the green light came on. The pedestrians moved on the crossing, with Lu Guang walking at the back, his eyes stinging and becoming blurry. He called out softly to that person with a short ponytail —

“Cheng Xiaoshi, Cheng Xiaoshi, can you hear me?”

His voice was swallowed up by the wind whooshing past him. Then, he was flung out, and he plummeted hard. The agony on his wrist was drowned out by the intense pain coming from his abdomen. There was a transparent piece of glass stabbed into him, and blood poured out.

His sight blurred. Lu Guang struggled to turn his head and look at Cheng Xiaoshi’s face. He wanted so badly to say something to him, anything, even just one sentence. But he was enveloped in coldness and agony, making it hard to even move his lips.

Oh Cheng Xiaoshi, don’t make such a frightened expression. You should smile and laugh, just like you always did before. All these years, have you been well? Have you been missing anyone? But I know that someone is not me. We’ve been through so many worlds together, but only in this one, we never met. I’m in so much pain, because I know where you are, but cannot come see you. Then, let it be, let it be. You’ll live happily, never knowing me until the end. This is my choice. I’ve never regretted it…

The blinding sunlight was blocked out. Lu Guang could no longer open his heavy eyelids. His life was slipping away, his senses were failing, and the pain was fading. Just before his consciousness sank into the deep sea, he felt his wristwatch being taken off.

The soulmate mark, using up the last of its strength, seared him awake in his final moment.

FIN.