Chapter Text
Its not his fault they said. Charles is destined to be in The Ferarri. Right person, wrong timing. Three more races, with the support of his lover, and his newly gained confidence, he thought that it couldn't have been worse.
"P1, congratulations Max."
Max Verstappen won Mexican Grand Prix.
Loud and clear, he heard everything, another win for Red Bulls. On the last corner, Max notices a bright red from his mirror, and he cant wait to get out from his damn car.
"Well done, good job Mate."
Its been so long since he shared podium with Charles, its getting boring. Max never gets tired of wining and racing like everyone speculation by the way, he likes winning. But today he feels excited he can share it with Charles.
This whole 2023, Ferarri that supposed to be on head to head battle with the bulls is falling to pieces again.
Instead, they put his longtime boyfriend Charles into a series of unfortunate event.
Every race, Charles would blame himself too much for something he cant control, triggering a worst episode of mental breakdown which leads to panic attack.
At some point hes joking about thinking that Ferarri bad luck is all because of him and he needs to take a holy trip to Lourdes. Which makes everyone giggles. Max would gladly dunk those SF-23 onto the Lourdes holy water instead.
They tried to comfort him saying that its not Charles fault. Which is true, but his silly boyfriend being the people pleaser he is always took the blame to himself.
If only Max could, he would like to speak with anyone in Maranello about Charles condition, and maybe burn the places down if they cant at least produce a good car.
Cause he feels like slowly losing Charles each time.
He already took the world champion title, even constructor championship for the Bulls. Now he is focusing on how many races left. He need to take Charles away from all this mess before the 2024 season started.
"Good Job, Mate. Well done." Max nods and jumping out of his car.
His eyes fixed on the lean body of Charles in red fireproof, throwing away his helmet and put his cap. He positioned himself standing next to Charles, he lets out a silly little grin and grabs Charles waist for the picture, Charles lets out a shy small smile and put himself closer to Max.
Those big green eyes seems unfocused and empty, Max notices. And Charles eyes is avoiding him.
Max knows something is wrong.
***
He cant stop smiling by the time he noticed the RB-19 parked right where the #1 board settled. If you can be here with Max Emilian Verstappen. You did well, everywhere as long as you got points with this red tractor, is a well done job.
Charles finally sense a little bit of spark on his life again. His hard work (or self torture, Max would describe it) is finally paid of. He spent almost 17 hours at training site yesterday, he cant even hold any food down, the only thing entering his stomach is his drink during the race. And now after the result, he thinks he deserve some food. And somehow, he thinks that pushing himself like yesterday is the key of his good results today.
Would he did it again? Yes.
The Euphoria of the long awaited podiums hits too much that he cant even notice the audience is booing at him. At first, he thought it was a loud cheer from tifosis, but by the time his face appeared on the big screen. The Boo is just getting loud and clear.
Loud and clear, just like Xavi's radio.
He try to remember what is wrong when he notice that only one redbull is there, and then his brain recall the memory of turn one when his Ferarri sandwiched between two of the bulls, and Checo fully turned himself just like that, causing damage to Charles wing also.
Checo turned himself in, Charles had nowhere to go, if he went left, a bigger contact with Maxie would happened and it coulve been worse.
At least thats what he remembers.
His memory and mood has been fucked up so much by the medicine he needs to take. To keep himself together.
"What happened with Checo in turn one?," The media pulled the mic. Charles fix his cap and scratch the back of his head.
Is it my fault? He cant even remember, he firmly believe that it was Checo turned himself towards Charles car.
And where is the goodamn replay?
Did Charles fucked up again? Causing Checo DNFs on his home race?
People will hate him right?
He is so stupid.
"Charles, what happened with Checo?,"
"Uh.." Charles grins slowly fade away, he can feel a bile rise up towards his throat and he feels like hes throwing up right now.
The booing just kept getting louder.
"Ah.. a lot of booing. A lot of booing," Charles can see several people recording him and putting their thumbs down.
"Guys, honestly, i have nowhere to go." Charles explains, lost at words. He sounds like he is going to cry that he hates it, the medicine and training fucked up his mood so bad.
He is usually dont tink too much about something like this, now why its such a big deal? He is so embarassing.
Charles noticed Max approaching, his big Blue eyes pierced to his eyes. Charles puts his sadness away and tried to smile to the camera, cause several times, Max explains that he hates it when Charles took the blame to himself, or trying to surpress his anger and emotion.
His therapist said it was a trauma response, Charles is so used of handling things and sadness alone that it was too hard for himself to see something from other perspective, like some failure in your life is beyond your control, cause its probably coming from outside.
"P3 you silly, im so proud of you." Max voices burst Charles own world, and he is trying to laugh while making eye contact with Max.
He ready to pops the champagne, but his ear cant stop hearing the boo. Even after dutch national anthem, the boo keep getting louder.
"Its okay, not your fault. Checo did a me in Qatar," Lewis laugh, tryna to lighten up the mood cause Charles looks like hes about to throw up, all tense, looking dissasociated. And Max cant stop supporting Charles weight by his waist as if Charles would faint.
"Its okay, Mate. Are you okay?,"
Charles nods, took lewis hand for a handshake, he cant think or talk anymore so he choose to smile all through the celebration. Only a number of ferarri guys standing and somehow the lack of red making him anxious.
"Charles!," Max standing along with him until they get back to the paddock. They still have a lot of media responsibilities but Charles obviously cant continue with his current condition.
"You need to get back to the paddock okay? I tried to contact Joris, ill meet you as soon as its over, okay?," Charles blinking his eyes several times, he can see yellow, black, yellow, and Max face. Its so confusing.
His fireproof suit seems to tight, his cap making him hot, the sun is too bright, everything annoys him and the heavyness in his chest getting intense.
"Max.. its too hot here.." thats the only thing that makes Max stride his feet, walking away from the crowd, dragging Charles away from the mess. Thats enough to know that Charles cant handle this.
And there is Joris, right on time. Max give a worried look and small nods, trusting Charles to Joris, and squeezing Charles hands before he went to his own paddock.
***
Max walking past several Ferarri engineers towards Charles driver room, he bump into Carlos on his way.
"Is he okay?" Max ask Carlos.
"He is resting now, we need to call his doctor for that one. Cant breathe for several minutes we need to force him to breathe. Go in, Mate. He needs you."
Max open the doors, watching the paramedics and Joris still trying to talk to Charles, just like talking to a little kid. And Max heart feel like dropped to the ground when Charles is just sitting there, looking confused and out of this world. His eyes fixed to the floor, and his hands is trembling so bad that Max wanted to hold it.
Max kneeling in front of Charles and shaking his body gently.
"Charles, its me. Its me, its okay."
The attack is so bad that Max squeezing Charles hands feeling like hes squeezing ice. Charles green eyes finally flutter a bit, and he is looking at Max.
"Hes been looking like that for half an hour, we need to take him to the hospital." The paramedics said, and Max knows that Charles hates hospital.
Max shaking his head, sitting beside Charles and soothing his hand to Charles shoulder.
"Its okay, you did well. Take your time, im here. Im here."
Max continuously stroking Charles shoulder and back with circular motions, he can feel that Charles relaxed a bit, that he can hear his boyfriend breathe behind the oxygen mask.
"There you go.." Max smiled, ruffles Charles hair and pull charles head into his shoulder.
Charles finally squeezed Max hands, and they let out a relaxed sigh.
"His heart rate and oxygen getting back to normal. But his temperature is a little bit high, maybe he got fever? What happened on the race? Is he sick?,"
The paramedics manage to draw small amount of blood from Charles fingers while hes out. "His blood sugar is too low, is he eating anything?"
Max knows the answer both of the question, but he continue to stoke Charles hair instead. He throw a serious look at Joris and Paramedics. Maybe its time to finally tell them that Charles been struggling with food, losing his appetite and refused to eat anything beside energy bars and water.
"He is not—"
"Max?," Charles's hoarse voice crack the intense feeling in the room. And he felt a slight movement on his shoulder.
Charles is now awake enough that he can hear Max voice. And Max cant help to slowly move Charles into a better position, he put Charles on the headboard, that he can see Charles green eyes fixed to him.
"Can we go home now?," Charles voice sounded so small. Max and Joris exchanged a look then looking at the medics.
"Of course, a home care would be enough, just make sure he eats something before sleep. I will give some multivitamins subscription, and some vitamin b so Charles could rest."
"I advise a full medical checkup soon before Brazil GP looking at Charles condition."
"Im okay, i just got some motions sickness from the track, thats crazy and the crowd make it worse, a couple hours of sleep would be enough." Charles finally sounds coherent enough, sitting upright and massaging his temple.
"Can you take me to the hotel? Please?,"
Max and Joris couldnt help but nods. Charles finally remembers that theyre in the middle of race schedule, in Mexico not Monaco.
"Im okay now." Charles gave one final look to Max and getting up from his sitting position, making his way out of drivers room.