Chapter Text
There wasn’t a whole lot to occupy one’s mind with living in the mild weathered autumn island he once called his home. Life there seemed to have a way of going forward even when one made an ardent wish to call a time-out and consider options. What an absurd wish it was, to have on an island like that. What options did an island without any measure of adventure, opportunity or even excitement offer? Maybe the only true options available were tied to the docks with sturdy ropes, creaking in time with the waves.
It wasn’t like he hadn’t realized it ages ago; that there was only one foolproof way to make sure his life would be different from that of his parents, their parents, probably even their great-great-grandparents. It was to leave the soil they all had decided to haunt for centuries. They never seemed to be unhappy with their choices, the smiles on their faces answering his unasked questions for the umpteenth time. The doubts and fears seemed to only exist for him, hiding away in the corners of his old home.
As time passed on, he became more and more resolute in his belief that he would not be able to spend his entire life rooted on the same spot where he was born. There was something that compelled him to dream of leaving, something that kept him up at night, something that eventually led him to steal one of the few boats tied to their dock in the middle of the night.
He had no destination, no plan nor did he possess anything of value. Merely a bag filled with clothes, an armful of books and three bottles of whiskey. It had to do. What he left behind was an existence he couldn’t fathom as his future and what he entered was one clad in thinly veiled hope.
…
Time had started to pass more slowly whilst losing himself seafaring, seeking out unfamiliar islands and lingering in the dark alleyways of unwelcoming towns. Certain things became simpler; there was no pain in facing something akin to disappointment from strangers or answering them with harsh words of his own. No family was there to judge his actions and words or follow him into the night. Most things, however, remained the way they had been before; haunting him at night, tempting his hand to grab onto yet another bottle, seeking out trouble in one form or another.
It seemed like a ludicrous notion that it all culminated in something as bright (and ultimately, ineffable) as Roger.
There really was no reason for him to even entertain the crazy ideas of this madman. He could have been a drunk, wandering from boat to boat, trying to find someone stupid enough to accept his offer. Or a conman, waiting for a perfect moment to strike. He told him off and waved him away, flipping him off for good measure. He couldn’t really make anything of the man’s face but his wide smile, which seemed to vane a bit at his rebuttal. The man with the straw-hat continued to stand there unmoving, waiting.
“Didn’t you hear me, Rayleigh? I said this meeting is fate!” Rayleigh scoffed at the proudly spoken words, taking a sip from his flask. It was a nice silver flask. He had found it once, rummaging through his father’s things. He had taken it for himself back then, without asking. It wasn’t really stealing, he mused, his father didn’t even drink. His father didn’t approve of it, didn’t approve of anything really, from alcohol to Rayleigh’s books, and strangers that didn’t leave when asked to. Especially ones that started spouting nonsense.
“Didn’t you hear me?” Rayleigh rebutted and shifted to a more comfortable position and continued in a detached manner. There was no point in trying to reason with crazy people. “Get lost, buddy. I’m sure you can find more gullible suckers to rob. Try the southern harbour, I hear there’s some sailors just lonely enough to fall for your bullshit.”
“…what?” The strange man seemed to muse over his words, slowly coming to a realization with the same wide grin plastered unashamedly on his face. “Oh, you don’t understand. I don’t want to talk to anyone else. It has to be you. I decided that when I saw you in the market district. I followed you here. It’s fate. This meeting was always meant to happen.” He gave a little snicker at his own words, as if it was the obvious thing in the world and Rayleigh was the one being obtuse.
…The man had followed him from the town. Rayleigh stood up fast from the stairs and felt ill at ease. The man’s eyes were shrouded under the straw-hat, but his smile remained in place. What was this? This wasn’t some con-man or drunk, but a bona fide nut job. Rayleigh started wondering where he had stashed his knife, never taking his eyes off the man on the shore. He felt a bit unsteady on his feet, his palms quickly becoming moist and clammy. How long had he been lying on the stairs in the sun…?
“Hey, are you okay there? I didn’t mean to make you upset, Rayleigh. Maybe you ought to sit down… Here, I’ll just jump over there.” The man made a quick motion to grab the rope connecting the boat to the shoreline and Rayleigh’s heart made an uncomfortable motion in his chest. All of his blood seemed to rush to his head and his fingers felt cold. Was he actually trying to board the ship, Rayleigh thought mutely for a second before springing to action.
“Don’t!! Let go of –” Rayleigh made a violent, uncoordinated motion to grab the rope as well. He felt his feet slip abruptly from the polished, wooden steps of the small boat and without any kind of warning, he was falling. The back of his head made contact with something hard accompanied by an ugly sound and Rayleigh knew no more.
…
The small cabin of the boat was dark with small slivers of light peeking through the curtains. For a small, unfocused moment, Rayleigh forgot where he was and wondered absentmindedly whether his parents had noticed he was sleeping in the middle of the day. Hopefully not as they wouldn’t tolerate any lazing around. His head was pounding with pressure and the last thing he wanted was to listen to them lecturing him over something he considered trivial. Such perfectionist busybodies, they were. They never tolerated any work being left undone, like the dust gathering in the corners of the cabin and empty liquor bottles left lying around the floor… Oh, he realized. He wasn’t home anymore.
His eyes caught the motion of something beside him and he turned his head, which made him gasp in agony at the sudden flare of pain at the back of his head. A sudden wave of nausea washed over him, and he scrunched his eyes shut.
“Hey. It’s okay. Don’t be afraid, it’s just me.” The words were spoken in an exaggerated attempt at a soft voice. Something cool was pressed onto his forehead and truthfully, it felt nice against the pounding headache. “You fell pretty badly… Your glasses survived the fall, though! Well, kinda. I tried to bend them back, see? I think they’re okay.”
Rayleigh opened his eyes again slowly and saw his mangled glasses being presented to him. They were definitely not okay. He peered at the face of the man holding his glasses and his thoughts skidded to a halt.
The straw hat was gone, and his eyes shone with a light Rayleigh couldn’t describe as anything else but intense. He smiled at Rayleigh like he genuinely was relieved that he was awake, gently placing his glasses next to him.
“I’m sorry that I scared you. I didn’t mean to, honest! I just… I’m not all that good at explaining things, you know? I was just really excited to have found you.”
Rayleigh continued to stare at him mutely. The man continued on; his good mood undisturbed by Rayleigh’s silence. “This is a really nice boat! I always dreamed of sailing in a boat like this. I’m from Loguetown originally and there’s this really busy harbour there - lots and lots of different kinds of boats. I used to go down there all the time and sometimes I even snuck on the boats. There was this one time that they didn’t notice me and –”
Rayleigh couldn't believe what was happening. The guy had evidently stepped onto his boat, carried him or hauled him into the cabin, placed him on his bed and started fixing his glasses. If this guy was aiming at robbing him, killing him or something equally morbid, he was going about it in a very strange way. “…Okay. That’s really nice, buddy. But my head hurts and you talking doesn’t exactly help.” He rasped in a rough voice while the man sitting in his cabin had the decency to look somewhat ashamed.
“I’m sorry! Is it really bad? Do you want me to go into town and ask for a doctor? I’ve got money so it’s okay! I’m going!” The man stood up and declared his intentions in a (too loud) determined voice. Rayleigh was starting to worry he’d get whiplash.
“No, really, it’s fine! I just meant if you could lower your volume a smidge.”
“Oh. Yeah, sure. Sorry.”
“It’s okay. But thanks for offering. And helping, I guess.” Rayleigh sighed and motioned for the man to sit down again. “...I just hope this isn’t some elaborate plan to rob me blind or something.” The man just laughed at his comment and shook his head, grinning.
“Why would I want to do that? Told you, this is fate!” He said in a mock whisper and laid down onto the floor, propping his head onto his backpack. “Oh, but I don’t think bashing your head on the stairs was fate, though! Just rotten luck, so don’t worry.”
“Well, my world was certainly thrown upside down there for a moment.” Rayleigh muttered and closed his eyes. The man was something else, he mused and started feeling drowsy. What was his name again...? Did he mention it? Strange guy in a funny straw hat, grinning like the sun, Rayleigh thought to himself and drifted to sleep.
…
“Roger, you idiot. He robbed you. Please try to understand.”
“No, he didn't. He is coming back, he promised!” Roger was not backing an inch and Rayleigh silently made a solemn vow to never let Roger carry their money again. Or anything of value, really.
“Roger. He. Robbed. You. Robbed us!” The man answered his accusations by sticking out his tongue and Rayleigh sincerely wanted to punch him in the mouth. This would be the third island they visited together and for the umpteenth time Rayleigh fought the urge to lapse into prayer asking for patience and heavenly guidance. That really wasn’t for him anymore. And one buffoon wasn’t enough to make him go back on his resolution.
Something had to be done about said buffoon and his trusting character, though. He also rejected the notion of standing here waiting for someone who definitely was not returning with their money. There were better things to do in a new, undiscovered town. For example, he heard rumours of a lively harbour with plenty of drink and company. He still had some berries to his name.
“Fine. Come find me when he returns. Or when you grow tired of waiting.”
Rayleigh turned his back on Roger and walked away. He couldn't deny that there was something he admired about his companion’s belief in other people. It was one thing to admire it as a part of Roger’s character but quite the other to see it culminate in very real consequences. Like losing their meagre savings to a conman.
He found the harbour quickly, welcoming him with lively faces and foreign music. He made his way into the nearest bar. A rough looking barkeep served him some grog, and after a few sips, things were looking a little better. The music was melodic and oddly calming. It was easy to lose himself in such crowds, he had found during his travels. Perhaps it was the common goal of distraction that most partook in these places that made him feel at ease. A man approached him and seated himself next to him at the bar. The stranger nodded to him in greeting. He had thick brown hair and a beautiful smile.
“Are you a sailor? Or a pirate?” He asked. Rayleigh smiled in return and replied. “I’m whatever you want me to be.”
Later, Rayleigh returned to the same spot he had left Roger. Roger had apparently fallen asleep while waiting and Rayleigh felt his heart ache at the scene in a strange way. He woke him up, pulled him to his feet and informed him that they were going to look for something to eat now. Roger beamed at him, and they left together.
…
There was something inherently sweet and genuine about Roger that shone through his entire being. It was apparent to anyone who met him, really. As long as one didn’t let their own darkness cast a shadow on everything, they perceived around themselves. Rayleigh had arrived at this conclusion when he thought back on their first meeting. He had surely been in the grips of something dark back then, to have completely missed the brightness that Roger had shone. It had quite literally taken a knock to the head to get him to open his eyes to the light that he offered.
During their countless journeys they would rest their weary bodies after long days of toiling away wherever they chose to - on beaches of white sand, on their small boat, on hilltops overlooking sleepy villages, in pine forests and together, they would marvel at the sky. It was a sense of understanding that came to grow very naturally between the two of them. They would share a bottle of whatever they got their hands on and tell each other their dreams, hopes and secrets.
It always felt liberating to Rayleigh, to speak his mind so openly and be met with Roger’s very own brand of acceptance. To speak whatever came to his mind, change his mind the next day and go back the second. To consider different options, all the options the world had to offer and never apologize for any of it. Maybe they could become the world’s greatest swordsmen, could run an underground casino together, could become the masters of an ancient fighting style, could travel to every island in the world, could become the freest of men to have ever lived.
Although he always wasn’t sure that either of them truly grasped the magnitude of what was being said, they never judged each other in those moments. Roger always told him to strive for his dreams and try to be free and happy. In truth, Rayleigh thought that Roger’s words always sounded beautiful and inspiring, but at the same time, he felt that he probably didn’t truly understand them either. It didn’t matter though, as both got what they needed from each other.
A partner that showed support in the right moment and somehow understood the importance of what neither of them could properly put into words yet.
…
Rayleigh appreciated the company of women and men alike. It played a big part in leaving his home, and he vowed to never apologize for the choice of company he took. He enjoyed the part of arriving in a new town and thinking that here too he could encounter someone new. It was a titillating thought. One that he hadn’t had the pleasure of experiencing in a while. He and Roger had been at the mercy of a becalming and as a result, Rayleigh was frustrated. No islands were in sight and there was nothing on the agenda but sitting around and waiting for a gust of wind.
He knew he had something of a wandering eye, and it didn’t take particularly long for him to realize that even if Roger was first and foremost a friend to him, he wasn’t hard on the eyes either. There was a certain aura to him, which presented itself in the almost regal way he carried himself around every island they found or simply the way he lounged around the boat like he owned the world. Rayleigh found himself staring at him and Roger cocked an eyebrow at him.
“Do I have food on my face again?” He asked, dragging his tongue around his lips trying to locate the culprits. Rayleigh averted his eyes, shook his head, and mumbled something about taking a nap in the cabin. He made his escape swiftly and as the door closed behind him, he sat down on the bed. He wasn’t ashamed but he wasn’t proud of his feelings either. There was something special between him and Roger, but this… This could spell doom. A timid knock was heard, and Roger stuck his head inside before Rayleigh could answer.
“Can I ask you something?” Roger asked, making his way into the cabin. Rayleigh nodded and made some space on the bed for him. Roger fell down on the small bunk and kept his eyes fixed on his lap in a manner very unlike himself. He seemed to be mulling over something. “You know… There’s this…” He began but was interrupted by whatever it was swimming through his mind. He ran his large hand through his curly dark hair and exhaled loudly in exasperation. He turned his gaze to Rayleigh and stared at him with the same intensity as when they had first locked eyes. His mind seemed to be made up. Roger turned a little closer to Rayleigh and brought his hand to his cheek. “Is this okay?” He asked in a quiet but decisive voice and waited.
“...Yes. Yes, I-” Roger closed the distance between them before Rayleigh could finish the sentence. Roger pressed his mouth gently onto Rayleigh’s and gently licked his lips. Rayleigh felt as if he was caught in a trance. In a strange way, it was like he had been given permission to cross a boundary in a manner that was unthinkable before. It was like a divinity had washed down upon him. Not because Roger was doing something extraordinary, because really, he wasn’t. There was a woman a few islands ago that had done wicked things to Rayleigh with her tongue and Roger paled in comparison. On a purely technical note, that is.
It was simply the fact that it was Roger. Roger who wanted him. Roger who came into the cabin and kissed him. Roger who made the decision and was now enacting it. Roger who was now kissing him with such adoration that Rayleigh thought that surely, surely this must be how it felt to be loved by something greater than himself.