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Stede has seen Ed negotiate himself out of death while facing the firing squad, weather brutal storms both physical and emotional—hell, he’s convinced Ed could talk gods and devils out of fighting. In all the time he’s spent by Ed’s side, learning from him, learning him—
Which Stede will admit is new, and terrifying, and lovely. And all of those things all at the same time, too. Every time Ed’s fingers brush his, his stomach still flutters. The longing looks across the breakfast table are becoming familiar. Familiar, but not any less terrifying or lovely.
That’s just it. The exhilaration, the thrum in his veins, it doesn’t seem to be ceasing.
The first time Ed kissed him, it set his brain alight. The second time, Stede kissed Ed, and he fretted endlessly about where to put his hands, feeling a bit like the flaccid fish Ed was holding when he tugged the man’s beautiful face into his own under the starlight.
Their teeth clacked on the third, their noses butted on the fourth—as they went from taking things slow to taking things fast. Ed brushed his tongue along Stede’s lip on the fifth, and the sixth and seventh and ninth and fifteenth all happened soon after, and Stede ran and hid frantically in the auxiliary closet before the sixteenth when Ed’s touch began to wander south, even though it was exactly what Stede had asked for. And Ed had stayed by the door, murmuring to him, coaxing them both to completion in their respective hands with hushed reassurances.
Stede convinced Ed to stay in his bed that night, and every kiss after that lost its number in the hushed dawn glow as Stede finally let himself believe that he need not count the seconds.
They’d woken up in that same bed together the next day. They didn’t do the same the following morning, but that was soon remedied. The rituals formed when they found each other again—stealing kisses at first light, trailing them along each other’s bodies, hearts racing and minds swimming. Drunk on it all. Ed making way with his hands under Stede’s nightgown, then his mouth, rendering the stars and planets burst behind Stede’s eyes when he comes. And Stede has just begun to return the favour, emboldened once by a nightcap, and ever after by the cover of darkness and the memory of the sounds, oh, the sounds Ed makes.
Stede could die happy. If things continue this way, they both will, whether death comes knocking at their inn tomorrow or in ten years time.
Tonight was the first time Stede was brave enough to say yes to more, to going… all the way. The deed itself. It's terrifying, and lovely, and new in more ways than one.
So much time learning Ed, and Stede has not yet witnessed and watched Ed come apart in the light. It wasn’t like they’d meant to save it, per say. But after the first time, Stede had wondered whether Ed even wanted him to see, or whether another man’s orgasm was altogether too vulnerable and private a thing to fully witness. The man he loves, caught in the deepest throes of pleasure he himself has wrought.
Well. So much time by Ed’s side, and Stede has never seen Ed this intense.
Bathed in creamy silk, surrounded by absurdly ornate pillows in their bed, his hair splayed luxuriously like a goddess or a mermaid in a painting, Ed is a sight. His hands tug at Stede’s waist and hips, bringing him in, pressing him in closer. His legs are tangled around Stede’s middle, a Kraken anchoring its ship to the depths.
His eyes are focused on Stede and they won’t let go, heavy and hot, approaching flash point. Stede thinks he might choke if he looks any longer.
He ducks in to kiss Ed, devouring his breath and his tongue and the caress of his growing beard against his cheek. Ed’s hands wind into his curls, coaxing him closer, keeping their mouths together through the thrust of Stede’s hips.
Ed nudges him back, his hand cradling the back of Stede’s head.
“Fuck, that’s it, yes…” he moans, eyes going wide. “Fuck me, Stede…”
“I mean, I think I am?” Stede mumbles, and Ed whimpers desperately, looking ready to burst into flames. “Is this good?” Stede asks, worrying his eyebrows.
“Yes,” Ed pleads, tugging him by his hair and mouthing at his neck. “It’s so good, love.”
“Yeah?” Stede parrots, losing his breath as he snaps forward into blinding tight heat, his hand finding Ed’s weeping cock like he said he’d need, gripping and stroking it like he would his own.
“Fucking fuck…shit, that’s it, babe,” Ed moans, falling into the sheets. His eyes lock on Stede’s as his orgasm shakes through him and paints white over his chest.
“Yes Ed, yes…”
And it’s not the first time Stede’s heard it, but it’s the first time he’s really seen it—how Ed’s eyes hood and loll a little, and his head drops back, and his jaw falls limp. And something clicks for Stede, for once.
“It’s that face! You made that face!” As soon as the realisation hits, it knocks the wind out of Stede like a gale. “Oh darling, I’m…!”
Ed holds him through it, and Stede stays buried there, gazing down at his love, holding his chest. He marvels at the big soft pools in Ed’s eyes before he’s being swept into a shy kiss, and then another, and Ed is nuzzling his cheek, and his beard tickles, and oh, right, he should probably pull out, that’s proper—but Stede can’t let the thought disappear forever and miss his chance.
“Ed, dear, may I ask you a question?”
“If you wanna know if that was good for me, it was fucking amazing,” Ed chuckles, looking up at Stede between his legs. “You’re a good lay,” he winks with a tender smile. “Got anything to clean up with?”
“Did you achieve that night? When I stabbed you?” Stede blurts as he hands Ed a cloth.
Ed blinks and stares at him, flushing.
“No,” he says, too fast. “Not when you—no?” A beat. “Why?”
“Did you…complete.” Stede can feel his face going beet red as he watches Ed swipe the rest of it away from his skin. Heaven help him. “Do you want me to stab you? Does it happen every time someone stabs you, that face you made? It's the same face—”
And then Ed is kissing him, throwing away the towel, his hands winding around Stede’s neck. “Mate, you are fucking insane,” he breathes, before diving back in.
Stede encircles Ed with his arms, pulling them flush, making a surprised sound in his mouth. Ed’s lips and tongue are unrelenting until they’re both gasping.
“What’d you…” Stede huffs, “What’d you do that for,” he asks.
Ed just grins and grins.
“Was it just me?” he wonders aloud, voice small and crackly. Then he narrows his eyes and scrunches his nose. “Ugh, Did Jack ever stab you?”
Ed barks a laugh and tugs Stede back into an embrace. “Only want it to be you now,” Ed purrs in his ear. “Was really good.” He lays a kiss at the beginning of Stede’s jaw. “You stabbing me on the regular, I could get used to that.”
Stede yelps, “Oh god, Ed, no! I refuse to hurt you ever again. Unless you…do you mean…” he sighs, “You’re not being literal, are you.”
Ed chuckles. “Bingo,” he murmurs, nuzzling at Stede’s neck.
“I’m a fool aren’t I?” Stede laughs, hitting his head into the pillow.
“Maybe a little bit, love, yeah,” Ed chuckles, rubbing lazily up and down Stede’s back. “I had a superb wank after you stabbed me, so I’d say that was my practice face.”
“Even…with the wound?” Stede protests weakly.
“Oh yeah,” Ed emphasises, his voice low and rumbly. “I was so wound up,” he chuckles. Stede groans, reaching blindly to whack Ed with a throw pillow.
“Well, it won’t be a problem now,” he hums, rolling off of Ed.
“Nope. No more sexy near death experiences. Its the fucking quiet life all the way for this guy,” Ed murmurs, half to himself, as Stede settles to spoon him.
As they breathe and lay together, the soft and radiant man in Stede’s arms gently squeezes Stede’s hand around his middle. Stede nuzzles into Ed closer, his cheeks rosy. It’s a touch that means I love you without words. Stede has learned that one.
Stede has seen Ed negotiate himself out of death too many times, and he’s happy that they’ve finally closed the deal. It removes some of the terrifying sense in these quiet moments, assuring that uncounted seconds could add up to years.
They have many years of joy left—Stede doesn’t know it now, of course. How could he? He can hope, but he could never guess just how many more years they have to learn each other. For all that becomes comfortable and known, they will never cease to find new and lovely .
In all their time together, Ed will never fail to give him butterflies.