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Soul Shattered

Summary:

He would cry and he would sleep and he would cry in his sleep - his brothers didn't know how to help Mikey. So they tried. They helped him in the same way Mikey helped them.

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Mikey usually takes care of his brothers. But the shock of thinking all three of them were dead was detrimental to his mental health. So, his brothers took care of him.

Notes:

quick thing - the story structure is very inconsistent and the only way I can describe it is that it is a retelling of what happened to Mikey.
also if there are inconsistencies it is because I wrote this over a few weeks randomly, and I'm too lazy to reread and fix them.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Michelangelo had thought initially that there were no more monsters in the world. Kraang Prime was defeated, Super Shredder killed, the foot clan renewed. But Mikey was not surprised when he was wrong, as he usually was wrong. 

 

Apparently, and Mikey took Donatello's word on this, there was a group of scientists who hid themselves as they did extensive research on the Kraang and studied their technologies and mutagen. And they called themselves the KRAIG: kraang research and intelligence group. 

 

Now, Mikey thought their name was stupid so he had come up with Team Evil. 

 

Mikey still remembers Donnie's first discovery of these people. 

 

“Holy fuck,” Donnie said as he came running into the lair, his shoulder bag barely hanging onto his shoulder. “Holy fuck .” He was gasping for breath and threw the bag to the floor and slumped onto the couch. 

 

Leonardo and Mikey were watching Raphael play the pinball machine. Donnie's sudden appearance caused Raph to lose his high score. “Aw man,” Mikey said, bummed. 

 

“What's wrong?” Leo asked. He walked over to his brother with crossed arms. “Is everything okay?” 

 

“Probably just saw April kiss another boy,” Raph snorted. 

 

“Holy fuck,” Donnie said again, putting his head in his hands, “this is bad.” 

 

“Tell us!” Leo urged. 

 

Donnie sighed and looked up at Leo. Then he looked around at Raph and Mikey. He looked back down. 

 

“I think - I think the Kraang is back.” 

 

The entire world went silent. 

 

What? ” Raph whispered.

 

“But I don't know - I don't think it's them but their technology or something. I saw people, regular people, with their guns and they were carrying cargo into a truck but then I saw the green glow of mutagen - ” he stopped abruptly and looked back up to Leo, his eyes wide and scared, “What do we do?”

 

At first, Leo blinked. He stared back, almost letting his own fear shine through, but he quickly recovered and took a breath. 

 

“If what you say is what is happening, we need to check it out first. No fighting, no showing our faces. We just need to see what's up.” 

 

For the next couple of weeks, that's what they did. They scoped out the city and drew out a map of all their activity. They (mostly Donatello) found out that the KRAIG were a handful of scientists carrying on the ‘legacy’ of the Kraang. Which involved mutating people for science and attempting to open portals to other dimensions. 

 

Raph was in charge of nightly patrols. Even though he was always at risk of engaging with the enemy, he was undoubtedly built for running long distances and staying awake all night. Donnie was in charge of smoothing out the kinks in Leo’s plan. Bringing up potential problems, working on tech, and figuring out where their base could be. Of course, Leo was just in charge of everything. He determined what would go best and had the veto vote. 

 

Mikey didn't really have a job. He went out with Raph some nights and helped Donatello with his projects on other nights. And of course, he meditated and trained with Leo. 

 

But mostly, Mikey gave himself a role. To make sure his brothers were okay

 

Michelangelo prided himself in taking care of his brothers, even though his efforts almost always go unnoticed. In fact, his brothers felt all of what Mikey did was annoying. Like making breakfast every morning and making sure everyone ate something. Especially Donatello.

 

“Come on Dee,” Mikey dragged out, holding out a plate of pancakes and eggs, “you know you want it!”

 

Mikey was positive that his older brother hadn't eaten in about 24 hours so he made it his life mission to make sure he ate. Donnie brushed him off. 

 

“I'm fine,” he said, only grabbing his water bottle that Mikey had filled for him, “I gotta get back to work.” 

 

Mikey followed him into his lab, still with the plate of food. “Come on, I made all this food and you're not even gonna have a bite?” 

 

“Go away, Mikey.”

 

But the youngest turtle did not back down. “You know I won't leave you alone till you eat this, bro,” he said, shoving a bunch of papers off of Donatello's desk and placing the plate down. Donnie’s face scrunched up as he watched the papers fall lightly to the floor but then he sniffed the food. “You win, Mikey,” he said and grabbed the fork Mikey was waving in front of him and took a bite. 

 

Mission accomplished.

 

Another thing he liked to do was make sure everyone had an acceptable amount of sleep (almost) every night. Especially Raph.

 

Raphael always had a hard time sleeping whenever something big was going on. And Mikey knew a trick. You see, Raph always fell asleep watching a specific show they used to watch when they were all younger. It's some sort of Russian kids' show, with a bear and a little girl - Mikey doesn't really know the name. 

 

“Raph!” Mikey said, bursting into his older brother's room, “Raph! Do you wanna watch this with me?” He held up the DVD of said show. 

 

Raphael looked at Mikey from where he was lying on his bed, putting his comic book down. His eyes squinted a tad bit to look at the cover and he rolled his eyes. “God, Mikey, when was the last time we watched that?” 

 

Mikey thought back and it was when they planned on killing Super Shredder. 

 

“I dunno,” he said, “but we should watch it!” 

 

Surprisingly, Raph gave in quicker than Mikey thought he would. They settled onto the couch at a decent time, 2:45 am. By 2:57, Raph had knocked out. Mikey did a small and quiet victory dance, then he covered his brother with a blanket. “Goodnight Raph,” he whispered and laid down on the other side of the couch to sleep. 

 

One last thing Mikey did was to make sure his brothers weren't loney. Especially Leo. 

 

Leonardo had this thing where he spent a lot of time alone during times like these. He's always in the dojo meditating but Mikey thinks that was just an excuse to isolate himself. Mikey knew that his eldest brother had the weight of the world on his shoulders because of his leadership. But that wasn't an excuse to not talk to his brothers most days. 

 

“Leo,” Mikey whined, walking into the dojo dramatically a few days before their plan was going to unfold. Leo hadn't spoken to his brothers for the past two days. 

 

“Not now, Mikey,” he said quietly, not opening his eyes. But Mikey did not take that. “Come on Leo! Let's train. I need to be ready ,” he jumped into position, “for anything !”

 

Leo would never back down for any type of training. He's the type of guy to turtle-splain anything and Mikey didn't mind. Especially since his entire goal was to make sure Leo didn't distance himself. 

 

And so they began. 

 

“Mikey, you're doing it wrong!” Leo groaned with his arms crossed. “Sorry bro,” Mikey responded. Mikey didn't even know what move Leo was training him to do, but he knew it was fun. 

 

“Let's try again. Hajime!”

 

A few seconds later, Leonardo was on the floor with a bewildered look on his face. “You - you actually did it,” he exclaimed, his voice surprised but also excited, “Mikey! You did it!” And Leo smiled and he laughed and got up on his feet. He patted Mikey on the back and the younger turtle grinned. “They call me the learner,” he said. Leonardo rolled his eyes. “What does that even mean?” 

 

The two of them decided they were done, so they went out to the living area where Raph and Donnie were already watching TV. Donatello was eating some crackers on the floor and Raph was sleeping on the couch, open-mouth snoring. And Leo sat down next to Donnie, whispering about something to which the other replied. Mikey sat down next to Raph on the couch. 

 

Mikey was always good at taking care of his brothers.

 

The next few days went by fast. Mikey didn't really know what the plan was about, but the morning of, Donatello explained everything to him.

 

“Because of your short attention span, I wanted to explain everything to you later because you'd remember it better,” he said, pulling out multiple papers and laying them in front of Mikey. They were in the kitchen. Icecream Kitty was there too, holding a pointing stick that Donnie had given her. 

 

“Right on!” Mikey said.

 

Long story short, Raphael discovered their main lab, which was on the top 9 floors of some office building in the middle of Manhattan. Turns out, they made drugs with the mutagen in order to finance their major projects. The drug they made was both a stimulant and a hallucinogen, but it allowed the people who took it to have immense strength. They called it ‘Alien Brains’ on the streets. Raphael collected a sample and Donnie ran experiments. This drug was dangerous, and enough doses would turn people into mutants - insane and mentally unstable mutants. 

 

At least, that was his hypothesis. 

 

The KRAIG would go around the city, selling this drug to gangs. It was so dangerous even a Purple Dragon member told Raph how horrible it could be. 

 

They made a plan to shut down the labs. Destroy documents, take their mutagen, maybe kick some butts. Overall, shut down the entire mainframe. Leonardo needed to find the head scientist and have a few words with him. 

 

“Okay Mikey, look,” Don said, smoothing out blueprints of the office building, “we need to enter here,” Icecream Kitty pointed to a window, “because this leads to an office that no one uses very often.” 

 

“Okay,” Mikey said. 

 

“We need to climb the side of the building, okay?”

 

“Oh! Does this mean we get dressed in our black ninja fits?” 

 

“Yes.”

 

“I love being emo!” 

 

Donnie smiled but then he sighed. “Mikey,” he said. 

 

“Yeah, bro?” 

 

Donatello patted the top of Mikey’s head. “We haven't been on a mission like this in a while. Promise me you'll be safe, okay? If anything happens, I give you permission to run home, despite Leo telling us we should never retreat.” 

 

Donnie was always telling Mikey to defy Leonardo’s rules. 

 

“I promise,” he said, with his hand up. 

 

They went out to the living area and Raph was gearing up. Weapons and gadgets were spread out on the table and floor. 

 

“Hey guys, you two ready?” Raph asked. He had just put on his black bandana. 

 

“As ready as I'll ever be,” Donnie responded tiredly, “I just can't wait for this to be over.” Mikey knew that Donatello and Raphael both overworked themselves for this mission. 

 

“You sure you're up for it, Don?” Raph said with a low voice, “Maybe you could sit this one out. Especially after,” he trailed off.

 

Mikey knew exactly what he was referencing. 

 

“You can say it, Raph,” Donnie mumbled. 

 

“Since April exploded you!” Mikey said, a little too excitedly. He was just excited to get something right. 

 

Both Donnie and Raph looked at him. 

 

“I'm fine, Raph,” Donatello said, untying his bandana, “I got this.” 

 

And they got ready. 

 

At some point, Leo came out of the dojo, already in his black-out ninja gear, and he gave a speech. Mikey didn't really pay attention to it. 

 

“One more thing, guys,” Donnie said. He took out four little pens. But Mikey realized they weren't really pens. “These are just to make sure we are all good.” 

 

Each of them got one. 

 

“If you click this button,” he clicked it, “it makes the other three vibrate.” Mikey’s pen buzzed three times, as well as Leo’s and Raph's. “Leo’s pen makes the rest vibrate once, Raph’s twice, mine thrice, and Mikey’s -”

 

“Fourths!” Mikey said. 

 

“Exactly. It's not much but checking in on each other is important and it's something I wish I thought of way sooner.” 

 

Mikey looked at his pen and clicked the button. Each of his brother's pens buzzed four times in a row. “This is cool!”

 

At dusk, they all went out. They had gone in different routes in order to be less likely to be spotted. Mikey had to go with Donnie, though, which was fine. Mikey didn't mind and Donnie didn't either. It was a known fact amongst the two that Mikey was the least trusted and Donnie was the least strongest. 

 

The two finally made it to the base of the office building, behind it in an alleyway where Raph was waiting. 

 

“Took you long enough,” he muttered, “where's Leo?” 

 

“Right here.”

 

He jumped down from the shorter building adjacent to the building they were about to infiltrate. “I had to make sure no one followed any of us.” 

 

Leonardo briefly explained the plan again and they put on their hooked gloves to climb the walls. They were quick and quiet scaling the building but gosh, was Mikey cold. Donnie led them to a specific window and took out some cool tools that cut through the glass silently. But it fell inward and shattered on the floor. 

 

“That was quiet,” Mikey joked, and Donnie shot him a glare. 

 

They crept in after Leo made sure it was clear. 

 

“Okay gang, remember the plan,” he whispered, “we just need to get rid of their science equipment. It may be loud, so prepare for a fight.” 

 

They split into teams, Mikey with Raph, and Leo with Donnie. Leonardo's reasoning with these teams was this: Mikey and Raph were great at breaking things, so they needed to find their technology and break it. Leo needed Donnie’s intelligence to learn more about what they were doing and to find the head of their operation and talk to them (threaten them.)

 

Donnie quickly explained where he thought everything would be, and they left. 

 

“Let's break some shit!” Raph smiled and they left as well. 

 

It looked like a typical office building, with cubicles and paper. A lot of paper. There was just a ton of paper. Stacked on desks and tables and on the floor. Why was there so much paper?

 

“Why is there so much paper?” Mikey asked, flipping through some of them. All of them were blank. 

 

“I dunno, it's weird,” Raph replied.

 

The two continued forward and went down another hallway that seemed different from the rest of the building. Like a hospital. At the end, there was a door with a keypad.

 

Raph pressed a combination of buttons and it beeped angrily and blinked a red light. Then Mikey did the same, and it beeped again with the red light. 

 

“I wonder what's behind here,” Raph muttered, “probably something we can break.”

 

Raphael moved into a position where he was going to break the door down, but they heard voices.

 

“Yeah so, I couldn't eat lunch today.” 

 

“That sucks.”

 

The two turtles looked at each other and jumped to the roof, holding themselves up by the walls. Being a ninja was cool. 

 

The two watched silently as two humans walked down to the door, in their own conversation. Mikey watched them put in four buttons and it dings happily and goes green. They disappeared.

 

“One, two, four, three,” Mikey recited, “that's the code.” 

 

“You looked?” 

 

Mikey nodded. “Nice job, Mikey!” 

 

The two decided that maybe going through that specific door was not the way to go, so they moved out and found the stairwell. Raph said to go up and they did. The floor they landed on was vastly different. Now this was truly a lab. The hallways were white and neat, with shelves of boxes everywhere. And they found another doorway with a keypad. 

 

“Wanna do the honor?” 

 

Mikey typed in 1, 2, 4, and 3, and it dinged happily and blinked green. The door unlocked. And right behind it were people with guns. 

 

“Fuck! Run!”

 

The two went straight back to the stairwell and ran upstairs, then ran into Leo and Donnie when they entered a new floor. 

 

“We're getting chased!” Donnie sputtered. “Us too!” Mikey said. 

 

They all ran down more hallways, hearing gunfire behind them. Suddenly, it stopped. 

 

Mikey looked over his shoulder. They just stood there, their mouths moving and someone nodding their head in agreement. Then Mikey ran into Leonardo.

 

“Door,” he said. With a keypad. 

 

“Mikey knows the code,” Raph said.

 

“I got this,” Mikey grinned and wiggled his fingers. 

 

Something barked behind them and they all jumped. 

 

It was a mutant. It was dog-like and unstable - different from Razar in the fact it had his torso ripped open. It looked as if its skin couldn't keep up with its growth, and tore apart because of it. Donatello assumed it was the mutagen drug they developed. 

 

“Mikey, unlock the door and we'll cover you,” Leonardo said, pulling his swords out. Mikey nodded fearfully and faced the keypad. 1, 2, 3, 4.

 

It blinked red. “What?”

 

4, 3, 2, 1. 

 

Red. 

 

Mikey turned to look at his brothers, wanting help because he didn't know what to do. He knew they would be disappointed because he let them down, being unable to do his job. The three of them weren't looking at him though, as they were focused on protecting Mikey. 

 

Protecting him .

 

He couldn't even do his own fucking job. 

 

He looked back at the keypad. The numbers he had known before slipped out of his mind and he couldn't catch them. “I can't,” he said hysterically, “I can't do it!” 

 

He whipped back around and locked eyes with Donnie, his maroon irises narrowed in concern. Mikey remembers feeling a blooming calmness at this moment, knowing his brother would make everything okay.

 

But then, something exploded. Something exploded and his brothers disappeared . They disappeared as Mikey was thrown backwards, through the door he was trying to open. There was cracking and crashing and Mikey thought for a second that his own shell had cracked because that's what it sounded like. He screamed, louder than he'd ever done before and his throat felt ripped raw. 

 

Everything became calm. There was a ringing in Mikey's ears. 

 

“Guys,” he gasped, the air barely being able to enter his lungs and his vocal cords burning, “guys -!” 

 

He got up, staggering and falling over, and went through the doorway he flew through. There were only pieces of the wall on the floor where his brothers would have been. 

 

“Guys?” 

 

Mikey stood there for a moment. He blinked, not quite understanding what had happened. “Donnie? Leo?” Nothing. “Raph?” 

 

As the realization started to creep in, he rushed to the ground and turned over the drywall, desperately trying to find his brothers. “Guys!” He screamed, “Where did you go?” 

 

He got up and looked around and looked around again and again and again. “This isn't funny! Come back!” 

 

His breathing started to get heavy, his eyes watery, his soul achy; where were his brothers? 

 

“Leo!” He cried. 

 

He heard voices and for a second he thought it could be them, but it wasn't. It was those stupid scientists and their stupid guns and their stupid stupid stupid- 

 

“Oh, it's the last one,” he said, his eyes looking at Mikey. The turtle froze. The last one? Mikey realized his brothers were gone. They were gone

 

“They're gone?” He whispered. 

 

The scientist didn't respond. He raised his gun up and muttered something in his microphone. 

 

But Mikey couldn't move. He was frozen. He knew he should've grabbed his nunchucks. He knew he should've done anything to fight this guy, but he couldn't. 

 

If anything happens, I give you permission to run home,

 

And as pathetic as it was, Mikey turned and ran. He ran downstairs, ran out of the building, and ran home. He didn't stop. He couldn't. 

 

The moment he entered the lair, he tripped and fell on the floor in the living area. “Ow!” He cried. His breathing was harsh and his heartbeat sporadic. What was he supposed to do? 

 

A memory shot through his brain and he pulled out his pen. He clicked it and waited. He clicked it again and waited. Then again, and again, and again until he couldn't stop clicking it and clicking it and clicking it, and he threw it on the ground in frustration and it shattered. 

 

“Fuck!” He screamed and he grabbed his head and thrashed around. “They're dead!” He couldn't stop crying and sobbing and screaming. His chest felt like he was having a heart attack and his soul felt like it had shattered. He clawed his arms with his nails and grinded his teeth and stomped his feet. 

 

He didn't know how to control himself. 

 

He ripped apart the couch and threw the TV onto the floor. He went to the kitchen and threw all the pots and pans against the walls, the clattering noises echoing throughout the lair. 

 

He collapsed on the floor suddenly. He shut his eyes and clasped his hands over his ears. 

 

Then he woke up. He must've fallen asleep on the ground of the dojo.

 

His arms were sore from digging his nails in them and his head hurt. Mikey doesn't know how long he was asleep. He got up and looked around. 

 

He needed to go back. He needed to finish what his brothers started. 

 

Michelangelo doesn't quite remember but he made it back to the office building. He had bombs in a bag he must've grabbed at some point, bombs that were surely Donatello’s. He spent a while outside of the building, placing them strategically in order to blow up the top floors to demolish the lab. He couldn't let these people go. Not after what they did to his brothers. 

 

Maybe he was in some sort of mania because he didn't think he could've ever done something like that. 

 

After placing them all, he went to the roof. He didn't plan on leaving that roof after the bombs went off. He pressed the ignition. 

 

There were so many explosions and the ground beneath Mikey moved, and he felt a strong push. He was warm. 

 

“Holy fuck!” Someone exclaimed and Mikey could see it was Donatello. 

 

“Am I dead?” Mikey asked, his voice distant. 

 

“What?” 

 

The rest was a blur to Mikey. The two dropped down to a nearby building and Mikey fell to the floor on his knees. He looked up and saw his brothers. They were alive. And Mikey didn't stop crying for the rest of the night. 

 

He learned this later, but his brothers did not die. The explosion - which was caused by Donatello mixing a bunch of random chemicals together to destroy their materials - knocked his brothers into a different room, but the walls collapsed so it looked like they had just disappeared. When Mikey ran away, they regrouped and immediately had to fight and hide away from some prototype Kraang-droids. They couldn't use their pens because Mikey broke his before the three were able to have free hands to use them. As Mikey placed the bombs around the building, Raph spotted him and told Leo and Donnie they needed to leave. Donatello took his grappling hook and grabbed Mikey just in time before he fell to his death as the building crashed down into the street. The timeline didn't quite make sense to Mikey but Donnie recalls a lot of hiding because they weren't prepared for the amount of security that showed up. Plus, Mikey didn't keep track of time during his freak-out. But they were able to stop the KRAIG from doing any real damage. They discovered their projects, most of which were unfinished (and now demolished.)

 

The only casualties were the scientists who created 'Alien Brains.’ The drug died out quickly across Manhattan soon after.

 

The next few weeks were brutal for Michelangelo. 

 

He woke up from night terrors almost nightly and threw up after every single one. He couldn't let his brothers out of his sight for too long or he’d feel like his heart got ripped out of his ribs. 

 

He would cry and he would sleep and he would cry in his sleep - his brothers didn't know how to help Mikey. So they tried. They helped him in the same way Mikey helped them.

 

One afternoon, Donatello heard Mikey leave his room and he rushed out and followed him to the kitchen.

 

“Are you hungry?” He asked as his younger brother walked around. 

 

Mikey shook his head. “Not really. I feel like I'm going to throw it all up,” he muttered. Donatello shook his head and went into a cabinet. He pulled out some saltines. “Have some crackers,” he said, reaching up to grab a bowl. “They go easy on your stomach.” He opened the box and poured some into the bowl. Mikey opened his mouth to protest but Donnie cut him off. “Nope! You listen to me, you can't argue.” 

 

Mikey pursed his lips but took the bowl. Donatello also poured him a cup of water. 

 

Another night, Raphael couldn't sleep. He couldn't sleep despite being exhausted from earlier in the day when Mikey freaked out over Leonardo leaving the lair for errands. Raph had to hold Mikey down because he was frantically trying to go outside to find Leo. 

 

Raphael sighed. 

 

He heard Mikey’s door open. His younger brother walked out slowly and sat on the couch beside Raph. The older turtle didn't know what to say at first. He didn't think Michelangelo would try to be around him due to what had happened before.

 

“Can't sleep?” He ended up asking after a moment. Mikey shook his head. “That's okay, we can watch something.” 

 

Raphael put on Space Heroes and grabbed a blanket for Mikey. Raph doesn't realize that Mikey fell asleep a little later, but when he did he carried him to his room and tucked him in. He stood in the middle of Mikey's room for a minute, contemplating something. He sighed and left for his own room, but returned with a pillow. He threw the pillow on the floor and laid down, staying there in case Mikey needed him. 

 

Another week went by and Mikey went from being unable to be alone to only wanting to be left by himself. This change was very dramatic and confusing for Leonardo. He locked himself in his room for hours every day, only coming out to go to the bathroom or to grab a water Leo would leave outside his door. 

 

One day, he got worried. Mikey hadn't left his room at all and he didn't answer Leo when he knocked.

 

“Mikey?” Leo asked loudly, his ear up against the door. Nothing. “I'm coming in,” he said and took a step back. He slammed his foot against the door and it flew open. 

 

“Jeez, Leo,” Mikey grumbled hoarsely, “it was unlocked.” 

 

Leo felt stupid at that moment because he didn't even try the door knob. Then he felt queasy. It smelt funky. He looked around and realized the mess Mikey’s room had become. “Mikey,” Leo trailed off. He looked at his brother. Michelangelo looked down to the floor, almost ashamed. 

 

“It's okay,” he assured, “I'll help you clean.” 

 

Leonardo’s ‘help’ consisted of cleaning Mikey’s entire room by himself. His younger brother just sat on his bed talking about how Chris Bradford could've done something better in his life than work for Shredder and become Razar. Leo listened and laughed, making sure Mikey felt heard and appreciated. When he finished he told Mikey to help him carry the trash bags to the living area. 

 

They went out and Donnie and Raph were already there, playing some video games together. 

 

“Fuck you! Actually fuck you, and your face and your brain and your tallness-,”

 

“Oh shut up Raph! You know that I'm goated at this game. You're the one to blame for thinking you could beat me.” 

 

Raphael jumped and tackled his brother, causing his brother to scream. 

 

“You're all a bunch of children,” Mikey laughed and threw a trash bag onto the floor. “Can I play too?”

 

Mikey ended up winning whatever they were playing. 

 

You know, Mikey realized how much he cared about his brothers after what had happened, and he realized how much they cared about him. He still thinks there is no more evil in the world but he knows he will probably be wrong. 

 

But that would be ok, he decided. It would be okay because as long as his brothers were alive and taking care of him, he would be okay. 

Notes:

hope this was enjoyable
it gets kinda messy in some parts bc I didn't know how to write it well enough
Also the saltine fact is reeeeal if ur stomach is ever upset eat some of that shit bc the dryness of it absorbs extra stomach acid