Chapter Text
Porsche was so happy that the fucking storm caused all the airlines to be fucking cancelled. So goddamn happy that he could come back home and back into Kinn's arms instead of spending the next five days negotiating deals in Japan.
Their prior plan was that Kinn and Porsche were both supposed to go to Japan but it was concluded that Kinn's presence might be perceived as a misunderstood intimidation tactic considering that Kinn was now the head of the Major family and literally the underground ruler of Bangkok.
Things had improved much after Korn had suddenly died one night, passed away in his sleep. It had been very unexpected but in no way unwelcome. Porsche had expected Kinn to be affected rather badly by his Pa's sudden death, but he had surprisingly, not cared at all.
Porsche had absolutely not been surprised to notice the hidden relief in all three Theerapankakun brothers. They did not verbally admit to it of course, but Porsche could tell. Especially with Kinn.
They had been dating for two years now, Porsche had long gotten used to deciphering Kinn's non verbal cues and the hidden meaning behind every single one of his expressions.
"Does Khun Kinn know you're back?" Big asked as he walked beside Porsche, his hands in his pockets.
"Does Chan know you're back?" Porsche retorted.
Big raised an eyebrow at him, the one with a nitch in it. Porsche groaned.
"Of course he knows he's the head of the fucking bodyguards," Porsche muttered.
Big smiled briefly at that. After Big's recovery from the wounds inflicted on him by Tawan, Kinn had insisted that Big become Porsche's head bodyguard in the minor family. Loyalty was hard to find afterall, and Big had proved himself on multiple occassions.
Turns out, Porsche and Big could get along well when they wanted to. And Porsche was happy to consider Big as one of his friends now. What Porsche had not been expecting however was walking in on Big and Chan making out in the training room late at night, thus learning about their secret relationship.
"Well, plus side of my boyfriend not knowing about my plane getting cancelled is that I get to surprise him now, and then get railed by him for hours," Porsche had long since accepted the fact that he was shameless.
And so had Big, who just shook his head in exasperation, too used to Porsche's antics at this point to be bothered by them anymore.
"I'm going to go find Chan, good night," Big said resolutely and walked away.
Porsche giggled before taking the elevator to the floor of their apartment. He wondered what Kinn would be doing right now. He had been very reluctant to let Porsche go when they had embraced, right before Porsche was scheduled to leave.
Porsche quietly let himself in, expecting to see Kinn in the living room with a stack of papers or something, but he was not there.
"Did he already go to bed?" Porsche mused to himself.
He shrugged off the jacket of his suit and left it on the sofa. Porsche had always had a weird dislike for suit jackets. Even during his time as bodyguard, Porsche had opted for a waistcoat than a jacket, much to the bemusement of almost everyone. He hated wearing jackets when he didn't absolutely need to be.
Porsche walked towards the bedroom, rolling the sleeves of his white shirt to his elbows, when he suddenly freezes mid process as he hears a familiar moan from behind the closed door.
"Porsche"
Kinn's voice sounded high and breathy, and Porsche felt his dick twitch a little in his pants ad he heard another moan and a sigh. His face split into a mischievous grin.
Seriously, Kinn calls him a slut during sex at times (which Porsche completely agrees that he is by the way), but here was Kinn, probably fucking his own fist imagining his cock sinking into Porsche's ass instead. A simmering heat started to coil in his belly and Porsche placed his palm over his crotch, unsurprised to find that he was already half hard.
Delighted to find the door unlocked, Porsche stepped inside.
And the sight in front of him was not what he had expected at all.
Kinn laying on their bed, completely naked, his face twisted in pleasure. One of his hands was pinching at his nipples that looked a little puffy and another was nestled between his legs, not on his rock hard dick that was leaking precum on his belly, but lower.
Porsche's mouth went dry when he spotted the dildo that was sliding in and out of Kinn's ass, the hand coordinating the thrusts a little shaky. Kinn was letting out beautiful little sounds at every thrusts, and Porsche wanted to drink those sounds right out of his mouth.
Kinn's thrusts suddenly increased in pace and his thighs started to tremble. And Porsche knew what was happening before it could even happen. Kinn fisted his cock now as he continued to fuck himself with the dildo, constantly letting out a stream of feeble whimpers mixed with curses as he got nearer and nearer to the edge.
"Porsche"
Porsche felt his blood ignite in his veins as Kinn moaned his name, so lost in his own pleasure, chasing his release.
"Kinn"
Kinn's eyes flew open, half filled with pleasure and half with panic as they locked in on Porsche. And then, Kinn's orgasm hit him in full force as his body convulsed with the waves of rippling pleasure. Porsche watched hungrily, as Kinn's eyes fluttered close once again, his mouth dropping into an o as his cock spurted out ropes of cum on his chest and belly. Porsche wanted to get on his knees and lick it off.
And finally, when the waves subsided, Kinn's body slumped back on the bed. And that's when Porsche noticed the very first hints of the panic that had been flashed in Kinn's eyes right before his orgasm.
Kinn sat up, his arms a little shaky and then hissed due to the dildo still being inside him. Porsche felt worry overtake his arousal when he sensed the discomfort and uncertainty radiating from Kinn.
"Ai Kinn," Porsche said gently as he moved to sit at the very edge of the bed, not wanting to overwhelm Kinn with a closet proximity if he wasn't ready.
"I... I um...sorry," Kinn voice sounded strange and he wouldn't even meet Porsche's eyes, and the he tried to get up and flinched once again because of the dildo.
"Fuck this..." Kinn muttered with a hint of panic in his voice as his hand went to the base of the dildo but then he faltered under Porsche's gaze.
"Can I help?" Porsche asked softly, not wanting to pressure Kinn if he was uncomfortable. But Kinn was clearly panicking due to which his body had most probably clamped down on the dildo. And Kinn would have to relax before the dido could slide out of him.
"Porsche?' Kinn sounded scared and Porsche felt his heart clench.
"Can I touch you?" Porsche shifted a little closer, resisting the urge to wrap Kinn in his arms. He hated how small Kinn looked at the moment.
Kinn wouldn't meet his eyes as he whispered a small, "please," and that was all that Porsche needed to climb into the bed and pulling Kinn in his arms. Kinn burrowed closer to Porsche's chest, a strange desperation visible in the lines of his muscles as he clung to Porsche, his grip uncommonly strong.
"Baby, do you want me to take the dildo out now?" Porsche asked gently, stroking Kinn's back and hair alternatively.
Kinn nodded against his chest, refusing to look up.
Porsche tried to untangle himself from Kinn so that he could shift lower but Kinn made a small panicked sound and clung to Porsche even tighter.
"Hey, it's okay, I'm not leaving baby, I just wanna move lower to get the dildo out of you that's all," Porsche whispered soothingly into Kinn's hair, unconsciously starting to rock them a little, "can you let me go sweetheart?"
"No, stay?" Kinn's pleaded, sounding so fucking small that Porsche vehemently decided to never let Kinn go, especially when he felt the occasional shudder running down Kinn's body.
Porsche kept Kinn close to his body as he used his physical strength to shift them both, mentally thanking his workout obsession because Kinn was broader than him and slightly heavier as well. It was heartbreaking to see someone like Kinn trying to make themselves small in their lover's arms. Porsche kept whispering sweet reassurances throughout the process, not wanting to startle Kinn when he was already so spooked out.
Porsche was now half sitting against the headboard, mentally thanking the ridiculous number of pillows that Kinn was fond of, and positioned Kinn to be on his chest so that he could reach Kinn's ass from behind.
Porsche placed his hand flat on Kinn's lower back, "can I touch you down there?" He asked quietly.
Kinn nodded hesitantly. It was risky, not getting the advantage of sight to help him work better but Kinn needed the closeness right now and Porsche didn't have the heart to forcefully untangle them.
Porsche gently squeezed Kinn's ass with his palm, testing his reach. Kinn's breath hitched when Porsche carefully moved his fingers lower. And finally, he could feel the porcelain smoothness of the sex toy. He could tell that it was shaped like a real dick, for he could feel the artificial balls nestled between Kinn's ass cheeks.
"Kinn, it's okay," Porsche felt Kinn shudder strongly when Porsche's fingers brushed against his stretched hole. Just as he had expected, seeing Porsche had made Kinn clench down on it.
"Baby, I need you to relax okay," Porsche said softly, gently stroking the stretched skin of his hole.
"I ca... can't," Kinn sounded scared again, "I tried I can't, Porsche..."
"Shush, it's okay," Porsche carefully tried to see if he could budge the dildo but Kinn's hole was holding it down hard.
"It's okay baby, I need you to just breath, you need to relax your body, just breath with me, you're safe Kinn, you know how it's done, come on, breath with me?" Porsche whispered encouragements.
Kinn's breath faltered at first but slowly, he managed to match his breathing with Porsche's. Porsche kept on his flow of sweet words and kisses as he stroked Kinn's butt. His mind unconsciously registered how soft Kinn's butt cheeks were compared to the rest of his body. Being just as obsessed about working out as Porsche, Kinn's entire body was nothing but hard muscles and sharp edges. His buttocks were ridiculously soft compared to that.
Finally, after a good number of minutes, he felt Kinn's muscles give out. Porsche carefully tried to shift the dildo, it moved with ease.
"Kinn, I'm gonna take it out now okay?" Porsche whispered.
"O..ok.. okay," Kinn's shaky voice was muffled against Porsche's chest.
Porsche grabbed at the bottom of the dildo and pulled it out slowly. He felt Kinn tense up again and stroked his hair, "shush, it's okay just a bit more."
Kinn whined pathetically as Porsche slid the wretched thing out completely and threw it on the floor. He'd wash it later. Porsche felt Kinn's body slump with relief.
Porsche didn't say anything when he heard little sniffles and felt wetness on neck from when Kinn had his face buried. He simply tightened his hold on Kinn, allowing the older to calm down in his own time. Porsche had checked at Kinn's hole after pulling the dildo out. It seemed puffy and sore to touch but no injuries of any kind fortunately.
Porsche gave it another ten minutes before he gently called to his boyfriend, "Kinn? We need to clean up now," he reminded.
Kinn's cum had crusted against Porsche's shirt, had probably ruined it as well. But Porsche couldn't care less. Comforting Kinn had been a much more important job than worrying about getting his shirt dirty.
Kinn's grip on Porsche finally loosened. Porsche carefully observed his boyfriend sit up, his head still low but he could tell his eyes were a little red. There was different sort of raw vulnerability about him, painfully bare in every movement and every twitch, like he was bleeding with it.
"Sorry," Kinn said, his hands coming across his own body. A pose so defensive was so unlike Kinn that Porsche could barely believe it. But at the same time, it filled him with immense worry.
This was not the first time one of the two had walked in on the other trying to get off. Hell, how many times had Porsche walked in on Kinn fucking a fleshlight with Porsche's name on his lips, or just simply jerking off in the shower. Porsche discovering him would usually lead to a fantastic round of sex that would leave them full and satisfied and disgustingly affectionate with one another. Kinn had never reacted like this before. But then again, Porsche had never walked in on Kinn fucking himself with a dildo.
It's just that, Kinn had always been the dominant person in bed. Even after surrendering a good amount of his power to Porsche, Kinn was still the one who did the fucking and Porsche, since he enjoyed getting fucked too much, never complained. Honestly, Porsche thought that Kinn was just not the type to be interested in anal play on himself and had never brought it up, not wanting to make Kinn uncomfortable. He had always assumed that if Kinn was interested in bottoming, he would have brought it up with Porsche. Afterall, Kinn had never been shy about what he wanted in bed. He had not been totally correct about that it seems.
"Come on," Porsche helped Kinn off the bed and led him to the bathroom. He made Kinn sit on the closed toilet seat as Porsche stripped and prepared a bath.
Kinn looked tired now, his eyes a little red and entire demeanour closed off. Porsche held back the questions brimming in his mind.
"I'm sorry," Kinn said again. Porsche frowned thinking of how many times Kinn had already apologised to him tonight.
"You don't have to apologise for trying to get off," Porsche said carefully, "what exactly are you apologising for?"
"I didn't want you to see me like that," Kinn said with a shameful look.
"Kinn," Porsche said seriously, "I want to understand what caused this reaction tonight. I was really worried about you. We've walked in one each other before but you've never reacted like this. Was it because you were using a dildo?"
Porsche helped Kinn into the tub once it was warm enough and they settled on opposite ends, facing each other. It was easier to talk like this. Besides, Porsche wanted to look at Kinn's face to know when he felt uncomfortable in the conversation.
"You know when I came out to my Pa as gay, I could tell he wasn't very happy but he knew that I am what I am and he couldn't change that," Kinn started to speak, Porsche nodded to show he was listening.
"But I think he was concerned about my masculinity, because he made it very clear almost immediately about what sort of boys I should approach," Kinn chuckled without humour. "He gave the example of Tay," he added.
"So he meant that you're only allowed to go after boys who are more feminine?" Porsche asked, before another thought came in his head, "is that why all the call boys you fucked before were small and petite kind?"
"The one who never challenged me and automatically expected I do all the work in bed?" Kinn asked with slight amusement, "yeah."
"So small and petite was never your type?" Porsche asked, feeling a little confused now.
"I ended up with a guy who's just as tall as me, is definately nothing but pure muscle all over, and is perfectly capable of kicking my ass in and out of bed if needed, what do you think is my type?" Kinn said flatly.
Porsche huffed out a laugh, "so you're saying I'm your type? I certainly remember someone saying my type is nice not you."
Half heartedly kicked at his shin, Porsche laughed, grateful to see Kinn smile again. He would never stop marvelling at how beautiful Kinn looked when he smiled.
"I'm just saying that small and petite was more my type because I knew Pa would approve of it," Kinn said shrugging, "and I ended up convincing myself that it's what I like and not what I was allowed."
"But you don't always like authority in bed," Porsche pointed out, "you prefer to let me lead often enough for me to know that. I just didn't think you'd ever be interested in bottoming."
Kinn's ears turned red and so did his cheeks, "it's actually a recent development."
"Oh?" Porsche asked curiously, unable to help himself from leaning forward.
Kinn flustered even more, "I uh..... You remember when I came to visit you in the minor family house last month?"
"Yeah," Porsche nodded. How could he forget? Porsche remembered riding Kinn in his office, and getting walked in on by Arm. Porsche did feel bad for his friend but that had quickly evaporated when he realised that Kinn had been so lost in his pleasure that he had not even realised someone had walked in on them.
Arm had slammed the door shut behind him in panic and Porsche had ridden Kinn with new vigour, pinching his nipples and grabbing a fistful of Kinn's hair in a harsh grip as he had kissed him roughly. Porsche had Kinn's finger prints on his hips for five days after that.
"What about that day?" Porsche asked, trying to keep his mind in the presence so that his dick wouldn't get hard.
"When I arrived, you were sparring with the new bodyguards and no one could stand against you," Kinn told him with a smile that gave away his pride for his boyfriend.
Porsche smiled bashfully, "and?" He liked it when Kinn complimented his fighting skills.
"And I heard some of the bodyguards at the sidelines talking about how fucking hot you were and how good your dick must be for fucking," Kinn stated.
Now, Porsche knew he was hot and had used that to his advantage often. While he was not surprised by the gossip, he wouldn't say it was expected.
"You know I don't care about what anyone else says right?" Porsche said carefully, expecting jealousy.
Kinn looked shy, and the next words came out in a rush, "actually, when I heard them talk of your dick, all I could think was that I wanted it in me."
"Oh," Porsche said because that's all that his brain could manage. It had short circuited very effectively at the thought of fucking Kinn. Porsche would be lying if he said he had never thought about it before.
"Why didn't you talk to me then?" Porsche asked curiously. If Kinn wanted to try bottoming, they could have approached it together. They could have had a conversation about boundaries and figured out what Kinn was comfortable with before trying it out. But Kinn went ahead to get a dildo.
It's not like Porsche minds it exactly. But a part of him feels a little hurt that Kinn didn't trust him with this. Has he ever done anything to make Kinn not feel comfortable enough to tell him about this? Maybe unintentionally perhaps? His brain obviously did not provide him with any answers. So he wondered how he should frame these questions to the person who could.
"I've never bottomed before and you never really seemed to be into not bottoming with me so I wasn't sure how to ask this if you,' Kinn said, avoiding his eyes again, "it's like we have this dynamic, and I didn't want to disturb that dynamic by asking for such a big change. And I didn't know how to do it without it."
Porsche shifts a little forward in the that he could reach for Kinn's face. He gently stroked his cheek and watched with growing fondness as Kinn seemed to visibly relax under Porsche's touch.
"But we promised each other honesty didn't we baby?" Porsche asked softly. Kinn flushed with shame.
"No I don't want you to feel bad," Porsche responded immediately, "I want you to know that trying to shift positions or roles in the bedroom is not going to affect our dynamic I promise. Not if we talk about it first."
"I can tell that the idea of fucking me interests you, why didn't you ever say anything?" Kinn asked, grabbing Porsche's hand on his cheek and holding it tightly.
"Because you seemed happy with your position, honestly, I used to wonder if I was too masculine for you in the first few months, especially compared to your boy toys" Porsche revealed.
"I think we already established that everything about you is a fucking turn on," Kinn said wryly.
Porsche chuckled, "the feeling is incredibly mutual." And Porsche hadn't exactly been shy of showing it. Kinn might appear more possessive to most people but Porsche was secretly worse. And Kinn knew it. He remembered the time a few months ago in a party when a small pretty looking guy had quite shamelessly flirted with Kinn. Porsche had been seconds away from ringing that delicate little neck.
What he had done instead was wait until they were in the car, he then pressed the button to raise the privacy shield thing in the car and had immediately unbuttoned Kinn's pant. He remembers the confusion, surprise and arousal passing through Kinn's eyes in milliseconds and had teased him by languidly stroking his cock for the entire car ride. Kinn had not been allowed to touch his cock or Porsche at all. All he could do was to sit back and try to hold back his moans as Porsche would stroke him and sometimes suck the tip of his cock.
And when they had gotten back, he had made Kinn fuck him with a cock ring around the base of his dick. Porsche remembered the desperation on Kinn's face when Porsche wouldn't let him cum but would clench down on his dick and drive Kinn crazy with every thrust.
"What are you thinking about?" Kinn asked.
"Remember the party we went to a few months ago, when one of your ex boy toys shamelessly draped themselves all over you?" Porsche said with a smirk.
Kinn's eyes darkened a little, "you tortured me too much that night."
"And you loved every second of it," Porsche said each word slowly and deliberately. He grinned mischievously and Kinn rolled his eyes, barely holding back his smile.
"When did you buy the dildo?" Porsche asked.
"I ordered it on that very day, and I even.....' Kinn trailed off suddenly turning incredibly red.
"Then what?" Porsche moved forward, burning with curiosity, especially after seeing Kinn's reaction.
"I tried to get the size closest to yours, and I may have tried to measure you mentally every time I touched your dick," Kinn mumbled, resolutely staring at the edge of the tub.
"You're adorable," Porsche heard himself mutter as he stared at Kinn in shock.
Kinn scoffed, 'I'm a grown ass man, I am not adorable."
"That's not your decision to make sweetheart," Porsche said in a fake sweet voice, "but seriously, have you seen yourself smile? It's ridiculous that a mafia crime boss can look so cute."
Kinn blushed but did not retort back this time. Porsche tangled their legs in the water and kept drawing small figures with his finger on Kinn's shin.
"Are you tracing my name on my leg?" Kinn asked drily.
Porsche stared at his boyfriend incredulously, "how the fuck can you even tell?!"
"It's obvious," Kinn snorted.
"You're such a pain in the ass, in more ways than one," Porsche grumbled.
Kinn chuckled softly, but there was a sadness in his eyes that Porsche did not like.
"Hey," Porsche gently massaged Kinn's shin, "what're you thinking?"
Kinn looked unsettled and fidgety while he answered, "I'm thinking about what happened tonight."
"You know there's no shame in it right?" Porsche asked a bit sternly.
"Of course not," Kinn said sincerely, "I prefer topping because it feels safe and I like it, not because I think bottoming makes you a lesser person or anything."
Porsche waited patiently as Kinn kept looking thoughtful, "but... I may be wrong here I think? Bottoming is more intimate in a way right?"
"It can be," Porsche nodded, "but for many it's not."
"I...I..think..." Kinn blushed deeply, "is it possible that....I don't know.....I think I'm really sensitive to this and....." Kinn trailed off looking embarrassed and uncomfortable. Porsche frowned.
"Hey," he scooted forward in the water, keeping his eyes on Kinn's face, "don't be embarrassed, you know I won't judge you right?"
Kinn chuckled nervously, "I know I just....I don't know how to say it."
"Can I try? You can correct me if I'm wrong," Porsche offered.
Kinn nodded stiffly.
"I think that, when you tried anal for the first time, whenever that was, you realised you like it," Porsche said carefully, intently observing Kinn's reaction as he took Kinn's hand in his own, "and it freaked you out a little because bottoming can get pretty intimate, and you can't afford to trust anyone with that level of intimacy, especially not in your position."
Kinn didn't reply for several moments but stared down at their enjoined hands, Porsche's thumb gently stroking the rough skin of Kinn's knuckles.
"Am I right?" Porsche asked gently.
Kinn nodded stiffly again, but said nothing. Porsche continued to stroke the skin of Kinn's hand with his thumb, not breaking the silence just yet.
"I trust you," Kinn's whisper was so soft that Porsche almost didn't hear it. But his heart did squeeze at the vulnerability in Kinn's voice.
"Kinn.."
"I trust you," there was a tremble in Kinn's voice. Porsche wanted to hide Kinn in his arms and never let him go.
"What do you need baby?"
"You, all of you? Please?"