Work Text:
He's all I have! the piercing screams echoed in Colby's head as he held the older boy in his arms.
The duo occupied the living room couch. Colby was at the end, perched up by a pillow behind his back. Sam was in his lap, had been since they had arrived back at the apartment. The drive home was silent, only sniffles and muffled whimpers heard from the passenger seat as Colby drove them.
+
"I'm sorry man, I really am," was all that needed to be said as they entered through the door, before Sam let himself show his emotion once again.
"It's -it's," he tried through rapid inhales. His blue eyes were red rimmed as more tears pooled down his cheeks.
Colby wasted no time in bringing him in for a hug, a theme of the night. He brought him in tight to his body as Sam started to cry louder, the sound causing Colby's chest to tighten. The severity hitting him.
The dark haired boy gently rocked the two of them side to side before breaking out of the hug slightly, "why don't we sit down?"
Colby guided Sam by the waist a few steps to the living room. The younger sat down first, seating himself on the far end of the couch up against the arm of it. Sam was stood in front of him, he was still crying as he bit sheepishly as his nails. The long sleeves he had on were soaking wet from the tears and mucus running down his face. Colby's pats of the cushion next to him were ignored as Sam crawled anxiously into his lap.
"Okay, are you comfortable?" Colby asked as he helped move Sam. The blonde's legs were draped sideways over Colby's. The dark haired boy's arms wrapped securely around Sam's torso and his head tucked between Colby's neck and shoulder.
Sam took a deep breath, grounding himself with the scent of Colby's cologne. His inhale was shaky, he paused before more sobs broke out. Sam's throat was burning from his screaming earlier in the night. His panic cries caused him to dry heave, making his throat burn worse. The pain and panic was an endless cycle he couldn't escape until a voice pulled his focus.
"Sam!" he felt cold hands shake him, "Sammy, I need you to listen to me," Colby used his hand to gently tilt Sam's chin so their eyes met. Sam's vision was blurry but he listened intently to the familiar voice spoke in a soothing tone. Colby coached him through deep breaths, "you're okay, nice big breath," he tried to follow his own advice, the reality of what he had caused setting in.
"That's it Sam, nice deep breaths like that," Sam followed the praise, finally getting more air into his lungs. He felt content for a moment as he focused his thoughts on the hand rubbing circles on his back, another cupping the back of his head as his face was tucked into Colby's neck. He didn't have the energy to be embarrassed, all his mental space was consumed with the recap of the gun sound, followed by his best friend dropping to the ground. Sam let out an involuntary whimper as flash backs stormed his mind.
"I'm so sorry Sammy, you're safe, I'm safe, I'm so sorry," Colby repeated into his friend's ear. He could feel the older start to shake in his hold, he didn't know what else to do other than grip Sam tighter. He moved his hand from the back of Sam's head to his hand. Holding it in his own and bringing it up to his heart. Colby held onto Sam's cold hand, pressing it to his chest, just in front of his heart. They sat like that for a few more minutes, Colby whispering a mantra of soothing affirmations into Sam's ear. Eventually Sam's sobs subsided, replaced with chopping inhales and shaky sniffles.
"Can we go upstairs Sam? Might be a bit more-" before Colby could finish, Sam stirred in his lap, panicking and grabbing at his shirt and arms.
"No, plea-please, don't leave me, please Colby, I can't-" His words were rushed, alarmed by the requested. Colby looked down, seeing the terror in Sam's glossy eyes.
"No, no, no, I'm not going to leave you, I'm right here, I meant we could lay down, in my room," he reassured, "together." He kissed the top of Sam's head. While his face was out of focus of the oldest, he let his own eyes widen, to his consternation Sam was still completely riddled with fear. The guilt was tearing at his insides, knowing these were the consequences of his exploitation. He continued to rest his chin on the top of Sam's head, waiting patiently for his response.
"Okay, but please, don't leave okay?" Sam's voice was uncharacteristically hushed.
"Never." Colby spoke with confidence.