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In his room, Ezreal placed the bags of gifts he'd received that day in a pile on the floor near the foot of his bed. They were all lovely gifts, some silly ones from Sett and Aphelios' and more thoughtful and practical ones from K'Sante and Yone, but...
This is stupid... he told himself as he flicked the lights off, letting darkness and shadow shroud the room.
He frowned and flopped over on his big bed, then clutched the white and pink blanket to his face as he forced away the heat that crept at his cheekbones. What a stupid thing to be bothered by.
Kayn didn't seem like the type to give gifts and it was a last-minute party that K'Sante insisted be put on for him, so he didn't expect anything from anyone on such short notice; he was just happy he got to celebrate with friends at all. He couldn't remember the last time he did.
The poor boy — he couldn't remember because the memory didn't exist. He was always alone, or worse, surrounded by flashing cameras and empty affection. For the first time, the smiles he wore and the thanks he gave were real.
He smiled but it didn't reach his eyes now. Bittersweet.
Why? Why did it matter if Kayn didn't get him a gift or that he barely spoke to him all evening? He didn't even tell him happy birthday...
Ezreal rolled onto his belly and groaned into his soft pillow. He found every excuse he could to convince himself that it was stupid to be upset at all — maybe Kayn actually disliked him, maybe he just didn't know what to get the guy who seemingly had everything. He wasn't obligated to get him anything, he wasn't that spoiled...
Eventually, he turned his face, his eyes adjusting to the darkness until the outside light cast it's moonlight into the room. He could see the outline of the hanging plant near the side of his room, and he watched the plant for a while with vague, quick thoughts flitting through his mind, then closed his eyes.
It was quiet and he felt warm, the bed soft under him, and the bit of alcohol that was still in his system encouraged the heaviness of his eyelids, urging him toward sleep.
Then he heard it. In the silence, the eerie but familiar wisping of Kayn's shadows formed nearby.
Ezreal jolted onto his hands and knees, then leaned back against his calves as he glanced around frantically for any sign of the shadows' owner. It was too dark but that didn't stop him from blinking harder as if it would unlock some cat-like night vision if he did it hard enough.
Scrambling off the bed, he stumbled toward the wall where the light switch was. In the darkness, even his room felt foreign to him and there was an odd sense of dread in his stomach because of it. That ghostly whisper stopped. Ezreal's fingers crawled up the wall but before he could flick the switch and flood the room with light, he felt skin brush his wrist. Larger fingers covered his hand and pinned it to the wall.
"Kayn—"
"This was your first birthday party, yeah?"
Kayn's voice was so close — so dangerously close — and hearing it in the dark fluttered Ezreal's heart. He swallowed hard, then grimaced in mild irritation at the question.
"Why? Did you come to make fun of me or something?" Ezreal accused, although he couldn't hide the wobbliness in his tone.
"Just answer the damn question," Kayn growled the command with an eye roll and his fingers squeezed a little around Ezreal's wrist.
"Ugh fine. Yes, it was. Happy now?" Ezreal acquiesced, fingers shifting under the pressure of the other's grip. He tried to pretend the situation wasn't making him nervous; that it didn't also make his stomach turn with excitement. Kayn was only holding his wrist and already he felt the pinpricks of excitement crawling across his skin and down his spine. How very chaste of him.
"Never had someone to celebrate with you?" Kayn asked another question.
Ezreal instinctively squinted, distrustful of the questions. He shook his head in silence, but then quickly realized that Kayn probably couldn't see well.
"No..." Ezreal replied. He was more docile now — Kayn could feel it in how he relaxed his arm.
The hand on his wrist lifted, but only briefly before it relocated to his shoulder. With a gentleness that Ezreal wasn't expecting, he was turned around and lightly pinned to the wall. With his eyes adjusted, the dim moonlight offered some vision through the pale curtains, allowing him to see the vague dark visage of the taller man in front of him.
Kayn took a step toward him.
"So... No one's ever given you a birthday kiss?"
The unexpected question flattened Ezreal to the wall behind him. A squeak bubbled in his throat but he managed to subdue it while his heart pounded in his chest. Kayn was messing with him, right? He had to be, he was trying to make fun of him.
Still, Ezreal's lips quivered.
"N-No..." he answered honestly with a light warble to his voice. Why was Kayn asking about a birthday kiss? Was that a common thing? He didn't understand.
All thought was shunted from his mind as Kayn's hand rose to cup his jaw. Again, Ezreal was surprised by how gentle the touch was, considering how loud and rough Kayn's general personality and presence tended to be. A second hand came up to the other side of his face to hold, calloused fingers brushing his skin. The tender touch caused the crown of Ezreal's head to bump into the wall behind him, beside the cute little bunny decals that he'd stuck to the surface.
Kayn leaned in, closed the distance, and touched their lips together in the softest kiss that he could conjure. It was light as if a ghost was caressing his lips, barely even a kiss, but it demanded every bit of Ezreal's attention. Kayn heard him inhale sharply and deeply, even generating a slight whistle between their lips as he sucked in. But Kayn pushed closer and kissed a little more firmly, tilted his head, and brushed their noses together as he brought the smaller man fully into his embrace, flooding his senses with himself. He felt the shape of Ezreal's lips, how soft they were, how they were sweetly scented of strawberry balm that tempted Kayn to taste it directly, but he withstood that voice in his head.
Ezreal's fingers twitched and flexed against the wall, his heart raced and carried color to his cheeks as his lips molded and moved to Kayn's guidance. His mind was blank aside from silly thoughts of Kayn's scent — how he smelled so strongly of something that provoked feelings of comfort and warmth. Realizations of how soft his lips were, the way there was a slight hint of alcohol on them from the party, how warm his fingers were — how calloused — as they tenderly caressed his cheeks and lightly tickled his neck.
Far too soon, it felt, Kayn slowly broke away. His hands lingered, one soon falling to his waistside while the other let fingertips stroke along Ezreal's jaw. He leaned in again and Ezreal could feel the presence of his body so close it made the hair on his neck rise, with Kayn's head beside his.
"Happy birthday, princeling," Kayn whispered beside his ear. Shadows wisped again and Kayn's hand sank through the wall, his body curved around Ezreal's, turning around in the process of phasing the rest of his body through.
Then Ezreal was alone again. It took a few seconds for his brain to process what happened, adrenaline pumping in his veins. He was sure his cheeks were glowing so bright it would have been visible in the dark.
A shaky hand rose to his mouth, two fingers traced both lips in one slow sweep. The skin still tingled with the lingering sensation of Kayn's touch.
"That... That was my first..." His hushed words wavered off and he sucked his lips between his teeth to bite on them.
His heart palpitated and suddenly his body felt like electricity was coursing through it. It felt good to kiss Kayn — to be kissed by him. But along with that giddiness in his gut came more negatives. What did it meant, did it mean Kayn liked him? How he could even think Kayn didn't was perhaps a bit blind considering he kissed him, but Ezreal was anxious by nature. He didn't sense any ill intent from Kayn, he wasn't even drunk or high. He seemed dreamy and gentle in a way that Ezreal had never seen from him. It didn't halt any of the nerves, however.
His breathing began to increase and bright flickers of magic trailed off of his shoulders and arms. That sensation of losing control hit him and his eyes rapidly fluttered.
"S-Shit, no— No— Not again—" Ezreal stammered and squeezed his eyes shut.
He blinked and teleported to the other side of his room, tumbled into his desk as he struggled to catch his breath, and knocked some things off the surface while sparks flickered all around him. He shut his eyes again and teleported a second time.
And he was gone, his dark room empty and lightless.
/
Kayn was dealing with his own internal struggle. It brought him to lie on his back on his bed with his eyes locked on the ceiling in stunned contemplation at what he'd just done. He kissed Ezreal. Just like that.
And he liked it. He liked it a lot.
As much as he tried to calm his quick-beating heart, he couldn't get the scent out of his head. Of course Ezreal smelled like strawberries — of fucking course he did. He always carried that balm in his bag and every time Kayn recalled the scent or even the mere thought of strawberries, it caused another round of butterflies to flitter about in his belly as if he was some teenager infatuated with puppy love; which was...half right. Ezreal probably tasted like strawberries too, but Kayn figured that licking the man would freak him out too much, as much as he desperately wanted to have a taste.
How stupid am I? Kayn palmed his face with a groan, idly tugging at the eyepatch over his eye.
"Do you...want an answer to that...?" Rhaast piped up, glowing slightly under the cloth of the patch.
"Shut up," Kayn groaned with an eye-roll and flopped his arm down onto the bed in a huff. Rhaast chuckled, but thankfully went quiet.
His thoughts were incessant. Wondering what Ezreal was doing. Was he angry? Upset? Or was he thinking about the kiss like Kayn was? Did he like it? Did he want more?
Kayn thought about the way Ezreal inhaled when he kissed him; it didn't feel like he was upset, he seemed to like it, even if he was surprised. Kayn bit his lower lip at the memory and began to let his mind wander to what else he wanted, as shameful as it might be.
Then there was a bright flash in his room that made him jolt upright from his bed with a curse word halfway ripped from his lips. In the dim blue light, he saw Ezreal catch himself mid-teleport and stumble in the middle of the room. Flashes of red magic flickered and Ezreal lost his balance, tumbling to the floor in his teleportation.
"Ez!?" Kayn called to him. He threw his legs off of the bed and immediately rushed over to the other. He didn't know if he should touch him, especially with the jagged magic flares around him.
"I'm okay— S-Sorry I'm—" Ezreal stammered.
"You don't seem okay—" Kayn started to counter the statement but the sparks around Ezreal got brighter and in another flash, he was gone again.
Searching, Kayn spun around in time to see Ezreal appear near the end of his bed, close enough to clip a knee on the edge, then waddled on his feet again.
"Hey, hey—!" Kayn lunged forward to grab his arm, and then pulled him up. Ezreal flinched and tucked his head down at the contact. His face was still glowing hot and now he was bothering Kayn with his stupid teleporting.
"S-Sorry— Let go, I have to go—" Ezreal shook his head and pulled to get away.
"Like hell I'm gonna let you leave," Kayn spoke firmly and gripped his arm a little tighter, resulting in a soft whimper from Ezreal. "Ah fuck— Jeez, sorry, I— Just— Just try to chill out and tell me what's wrong," Kayn badgered as softly as he could, unable to get the roughness out of his voice. Perhaps the harsh tone wasn't the best way to calm someone down.
Ezreal looked so distraught, flustered, and scared. Kayn gritted his teeth. He knew he'd caused it. Why else would he be so upset? What else could have happened in the minute or so since he'd kissed him?
With a sigh, Kayn let his hand slip down Ezreal's arm, then gently held his fingers with a loose grip. Briefly, it made Ezreal stumble and forget about everything else, once more caught on how gentle the touch was.
"Come on," Kayn instructed and pulled Ezreal over to the foot of his bed, leading him like a lost sheep hand-in-hand. He made him sit, then stood in front of him.
Ezreal's body was stiff and awkward but occasionally shuddered like he was resisting the shiver. Kayn eyed him through narrow, concerned eyes; he caught the quake in his shoulders, the tight-knit brows, and the bloom of pink across his cheeks.
"S-Sorry..." Ezreal tensed up again, his shoulders raising to cradle his jaw in anxiety.
"Stop apologizing," Kayn scolded lightly but all it did was make Ezreal twitch at his voice.
"I got nervous a-and started just— This—" He gestured broadly to himself with fidgety fingers.
Kayn brought a hand to his temples and tried to rub the worried expression away from his brow. It didn't help. He fucked up real bad.
"I-I'm scared."
Kayn's eyes snapped wide and he stepped backward on his foot.
"Why? Of me—?" It was a horrible thought — for Ezreal to be frightened of him.
Ezreal shook his head immediately, which was at least a small relief for Kayn.
"No, I— What if—" Ezreal inhaled shakily, shoulder shaking like he was freezing. "What if I keep blinking? What if I don't stop?"
Kayn recoiled back when Ezreal looked up at him. He'd never seen him look so scared, trembling and sparking still. It took a few moments for a plan to form in his head, eyes locked on Ezreal's teary ones. With a sigh, Kayn turned and stepped away.
"Where are you going?" Ezreal asked frantically.
"Relax, I'm not going nowhere."
Kayn went over to the rack of clothes along the wall, tugged a dark hoodie off of it, and then promptly returned to Ezreal. He stood in front of him, then draped the jacket over him.
"Look, you already stopped bouncing around," Kayn pointed out matter-of-factly. Such a simple fact but it was a revelation for Ezreal and it left him a bit stupified.
He felt oddly comforted by it. Maybe it was how calm Kayn was about the whole thing and in turn it bled into Ezreal mood. Maybe it was the twinges of shyness that were creeping into Kayn's expression that made Ezreal feel like he wasn't the only one thinking about their kiss. Maybe it was the cool soothing sensation of the hoodie that hadn't been worn in hours now slowly absorbing his body heat.
It didn't matter. He felt calmer now.
"I guess you're right..." Ezreal replied and pouted a little.
"Damn right I'm right," Kayn boasted and sat on the bed with just enough force that made Ezreal's body bounce a little.
Ezreal wiggled and slipped his arms into the sleeves. They were baggy, far too long, and drooped over his hands in a cute way that Kayn observed out of the corner of his eye; Ezreal looked adorable in his clothes.
Bringing the sleeves to his face, Ezreal breathed in the scent. Cigarettes, faded cologne, and Kayn's natural scent. It was nice — it felt like home. Comfortable, safe, and warm.
"Smells like smoke," he whined the soft, playful comment.
"Don't complain," Kayn retorted and suddenly his arm was around him. He pulled Ezreal close, bumping him against his chest, one hand holding onto his shoulder with a firm grip.
"I'm not..." Ezreal blushed, paused in a moment of decision, and then ever-so-slightly nuzzled his head a bit closer.
Kayn chewed his lip and rested his chin atop Ezreal's hair. He smelled of that sweet vanilla shampoo that he'd grown to associate with Ezreal, just like the strawberry lip balm. Any scent of either prompted thoughts of the green-haired man.
"So... Why are you so panicky?" Kayn asked. He felt Ezreal wince so he squeezed his shoulder and angled his head into his hair more. Kayn mentally cursed at himself and narrowed his eyes. "I... Fuck. I didn't mean to make you freak out like this, I just wanted to give you something no one else did, I didn't—"
Ezreal interrupted him with a whine in his throat. He turned his torso a little, tucked his face under Kayn's chin, and clutched the front of the hoodie closer to his face. Ezreal hadn't even taken a moment to let the weight of what Kayn said sink in — what his statement actually meant and what it said about how he felt for him.
"It was my first kiss," Ezreal grumbled, voice tight and wobbly and shy from the confession. He wiggled as if he was trying to expel the anxious energy out of his body.
There was a loud voice in Kayn's head that was screaming, Are you fucking kidding? This guy? Never been kissed? Bullshit.
But he could tell it was true. There was no way Ezreal was that good of an actor, and what would he get from lying about such a thing? He already got the kiss, and already unknowingly had Kayn wrapped around his finger.
"Shit..." Kayn sighed heavily and let his hand drop from Ezreal's shoulder.
If he felt like he shouldn't touch him before, he was feeling it doubly now. Ezreal was always so confident and so flirty with everyone, especially Kayn it seemed, that it wasn't even a consideration in his head that Ezreal was lacking in experience. The new knowledge made him nibble on the inside of his lip.
Stop thinking he's cute... Kayn growled in his mind and heard a quiet cackle. Get it together...
"Sorry." The word came out of Kayn's mouth like he choked on it, through clenched teeth while his hands idly squeezed at the blanket on his bed. "I didn't mean to ruin your day."
In an instant, Ezreal's lips pursed, eyes widened, and he sat up a little straighter as he looked up at Kayn now. Kayn had the entirely wrong idea and Ezreal realized it.
"Ruin?" he inquired with an innocent lilt, tilting his head cutely. Those honey-colored irises made Kayn's heart jump. "It was the best gift I've ever got."
Along with those bright eyes, the sight of Ezreal in his hoodie — hands to his face like he wanted to be buried in his clothes — was enough to drive Kayn mad. The words stuck to him and made his insides feel all gooey and warm. He would have hated it a month ago, but now he kind of liked it. Ezreal made him soft.
"Could—" Ezreal twittered and his expression twitched, rapidly phasing from soft surprise to an uncertain shyness.
"What?" Kayn urged him. He knew Ezreal just needed a little push, so he encouraged him and put his hand back on his shoulder, bringing him just a fraction closer.
"Could I...have another kiss?" he requested.
Kayn tried so hard to not let any embarrassing emotion like excitement or eagerness flash across his face. Luckily he managed and there was only a twitch at the corner of his mouth as he thought about kissing Ezreal again.
"Unless it was just a one-time gift, that's cool, I...can wait until next year, I guess..." Ezreal's fingers tugged at the drawstring in Kayn's hoodie and unintentionally tightened it around his face a little.
Kayn scanned him, let his eyes linger on the view beside him, then grinned a bit more in character for the persona he so often wore.
"You just turned twenty-two, yeah?" he asked.
"Huh? Yeah, why?" Ezreal answered with a pitch in his tone.
Kayn's smirk widened and he suddenly pushed on Ezreal's shoulders, knocking him backward onto the bed with a soft yelp.
"Kayn?" Ezreal's voice wavered his name as the man crawled up beside him and gazed over him.
Kayn drank in the sight of him in his clothes — it truly was one of the most stimulating, ego-boosting things he'd ever seen.
"Guess that means I owe you twenty-one more kisses, right?" He pulled Ezreal's hand away from his face, stopping him from hiding that cute reddened expression behind the oversized sleeves of the jacket.
Ezreal squeaked as Kayn leaned in. He could feel his breath on his skin, but the man paused when he heard that little whimper.
"If...that's alright...?" Kayn dragged his eyes up, the verdant color shiny in the blue lighting, asking for permission.
Ezreal's mind flatlined for a split second, then he nodded rapidly, emphatically even. It made Kayn grin a bit as he pushed up further and firmly pressed his lips to his with no hesitation.
It was a short and sweet kiss, one that had Kayn pull back after he heard another little squeak from Ezreal, and grinned at him.
"Twenty more to go," he told him.
The next kiss was deeper. Kayn's hand slipped into the space between the hood of the jacket and Ezreal's jaw and cupped his face, pulling and keeping him in place as he kissed his lower lip. It brought more little whimpers from Ezreal's throat. His thin legs shifted and bent up like he was trying to retreat into himself and hide from the arousal that simmered in his abdomen. His poor heart fluttered and felt like it was doing flips in his chest, his stomach mirroring the sensation.
"Nineteen..." Kayn whispered between their lips and it made Ezreal gasp.
He gave Ezreal no breather between the kisses and pressed harder. Ezreal panted against him and he took that chance to poke at his lips with his tongue.
"Eighteen."
Kayn slipped his tongue inside and promptly rolled his tongue over Ezreal's, rewarded with a string of cute, stifled whimpers as his piercings scraped the roof of his mouth. The sounds were like a pure shot of dopamine to Kayn's system, it was more satisfying than anything.
As he pulled out, Kayn suckled at Ezreal's lower lip and admired the dark flush across his cheeks.
"Seventeen." He bit the other's lip.
As Kayn moved to close the distance again, Ezreal suddenly whined loudly and shoved his hands over Kayn's mouth, halting him. Kayn even made a soft squeaky grunt in surprise, blinking wide.
"Wait! I— I can't..." Ezreal averted his eyes through long lashes. He saw at the edge of his vision that Kayn was looking at him with questions. Quick, he pulled his hands away and tucked his fists to his chest. "You're just...a lot..."
Kayn watched him in thought, then shifted his weight so he gave the other a little more room. It wasn't hard to see the pant in Ezreal's breath, the audible sounds that came from it, the red cheeks and shy eyes. Kayn was a lot, but he knew that and knew he needed to pull back a little — let the rabbit breathe.
"A break then." Kayn pulled one of Ezreal's hands toward him. He pushed the baggy sleeve back to reveal his skin, then gently kissed his wrist.
The soft peck made Ezreal's eyes widen a fraction, but then Kayn kissed again. Ezreal's throat bubbled with a sound, soft disapproval bristling in his small body, and made him purse his lips.
"Hey—" Ezreal whined.
"What?" Kayn kissed his wrist again, this time a little higher up as he pulled the sleeve out of the way.
"You're not counting," Ezreal stated.
Kayn paused at the accusation. His eyes flicked up to Ezreal's face which was so pink and squinty. How cute.
"What's the problem?" he asked idly. It made Ezreal puff with more irritation.
"How— How will you know how many kisses you have left?" he demanded. Kayn blinked and tilted his head. "You owe me twenty-two birthday kisses..."
Kayn thumbed Ezreal's wrist, feeling the soft, smooth skin over a visible vein there. Ezreal was being too cute and it took every thread of willpower for Kayn to not laugh at how the man didn't seem to grasp what he was doing. When would he realize?
"I forgot what number I was on anyway," Kayn muttered and kissed his wrist again.
Ezreal frowned and scrunched his shoulders up. Kayn grinned as he kissed the inside of Ezreal's palm.
"Kaayn! Stop stealing them, I want all—" Ezreal whined but suddenly found himself pressed into the mattress with the other leaning over him.
"So greedy," Kayn cooed with a grin and kissed his lips softly. "Besides, it's past midnight. It's not even your birthday anymore."
Ezreal blinked as his brain processed the statement. It was well past midnight, past one in the morning, even. It hit him like a truck — finally — that Kayn was kissing him just to kiss him — there was no limitation to the kisses, there never was. More color rushed to his cheeks and Kayn chuckled at him as he came to the realization.
"You still owe me!!" Ezreal insisted.
"Yeah yeah, little prince, you'll get them." Kayn leaned down but halted just before their lips touched. "You have eleven left."
"You—!" Ezreal began to retort.
He planned to confront Kayn on how he said he lost count when it was a lie, but Kayn shut him up with his lips and made the flustered bunny more docile. There was still a soft whine in his voice, but it faded to a soft moan of contentment that portrayed how susceptible he was to Kayn's kisses.
"Ten left," Kayn purred.
He captured his lips again, this time he tilted his head and eased into him, taking the time to taste that strawberry balm and delight in the way Ezreal reached for him. Those thin fingers threaded through his dyed hair, evidently recovered thanks to his little break, and pulled Kayn closer to him, embracing that smoky, warm scent of the other all around him.