Chapter Text
Chapter One
Phillip walked into the garage, hidden among the junk was a chest that he had put there the day they had moved to the house. He only went to it when his mind turned to promises made and broken. When he thought of a child he had lost and the second son he had lost along the way. Opening it up, old report cards, pictures that a child had drawn, and pictures that had been taken secretly and hidden away as soon as they had been developed were within it. At the bottom was a small album, the only one he had been able to save from Margaret's purge. Going to the old chair that he had tucked away, he sat down, opening the album.
The front page was dedicated to a baby, a little birthmark above the eye, but it was the next page that sent the hurt through Phillip's heart even more. A young boy sat on a bed, looking pale and sickly, in his arms was a tiny baby, only a week old and meeting his brother for the first time. One of only a few pictures that Phillip had of the two boys together.
"You would be so proud of him Daniel, he's... done so well for himself. He's found a family that loves him, that will give him everything that I couldn't, that Margaret never could. I made mistakes, so many of them," he sighed, turning the page and seeing more of Daniel, this time it was him as a young baby and toddler, pictures, side by side and he could see how much Evan and Daniel looked like each other. "He's like you, he really is, sometimes I wonder what you would be like as an adult, would you be just as daring and caring as him? I think you would have," he said, closing his eyes and letting the tears fall. The garage had been the only place he could grieve for the loss of Daniel, for not being able to have Evan and Madaline as close as he wanted.
Phillip opened his eyes and carried on looking through the album, more pictures of Daniel along with some of Madaline and Evan. "To see the three of you together," he murmured as he came across a rare picture of Daniel, Madaline, and Evan, the two older ones laughing and smiling, Evan trying to copy them at only seven months old. "You were so happy, all of you then, I let her win."
"Happy wife, Happy life," a voice said behind him.
Phillip jumped up, the album clutched in his hands as though he was afraid it was Margaret coming to take it from him as she had with so many other things. Instead of Margaret, there was someone even more unexpected standing behind him. "Daniel," he whispered.
"Hey, Dad," he smiled, looking like a healthy version of the eight-year-old who had passed away so long ago.
"I..." he reached towards him, but his hand met air as he tried to touch him, to hug him once more. It had been so long since any of his children wanted to be near him. Daniel had been the last of his children he had been able to hug. Madaline and Evan had ended up distant from him, especially after the move.
"Sorry," he said, shaking his head, "You're not able to touch me at all."
"What... What are you doing here? Am I dreaming?" he asked, glancing around and wondering for a second, "Have I died?" he then asked his eldest son, looking at him.
"You're kind of in a limbo state, not dead, but not really alive either," he said, gesturing to the chair.
Phillip glanced at the chair, and he saw himself, eyes closed, and the album still on his lap. Looking at his hands, he saw the album he had been clutching was now gone. "I don't... I don't understand."
"You have a choice. For the last few months, since you met up with Maddie and Buck," he said, "And yeah, I have been watching them as well," he told his dad as he moved around the garage, "it's hard to think that only you really cared about me," he sighed, seeing the box and glancing in it.
"How could I not, you're my oldest son and I let you down," he told him, "I didn't keep the promises that I made to you at all. I let your Mother walk all over me, I thought it would only be for a little while and then she would want to remember you."
"She never did, she's... never really been in touch with her emotions, she doesn't like them, and being confronted with the fact she felt nothing when I died," Daniel shrugged turning back to his father, "She erased me because she didn't like the fact that people were noticing that she didn't really care. She pretended to cry, but people started to figure out that it was all fake."
Phillip nodded, "I didn't know that at first, but I do now. Back then, I thought it would be a few days, weeks maybe before she would finally show that she was just as devastated as I was. Then Evan, Buck," he sighed, "She was distant, I thought it was Postpartum that was stopping her from bonding with him. In reality, she blamed him for your death and I let her, I didn't stand up for him. I didn't protect him as I had promised you," he said, shaking his head as he went towards his oldest son.
"No, you didn't," he said quietly, "I understand a little, you were waiting for her, but you let it go on for too long. Maddie and Buck, I don't think they are going to be around you much."
"No, they won't and I don't blame them. Margaret is only angry at them because they won't do what she expects them to do. She will never get what she wants, and that is the picture-perfect life. We lost you, and we lost them, she won't have it that we have though. She thinks that one day they will turn around and want us in their lives. I was actually surprised that Madeleine called and asked to see us. To know that we have a granddaughter that I will most likely never meet," he sighed, shaking his head, "I'm sorry, Daniel, for letting them down, and for letting you down. There is nothing that I can do about it now. I regret so much of my life, mostly that I gave in to your mother."
Daniel looked at his father, "There is a reason that I'm here, Dad," he said as he approached him.
"Time to show me the afterlife," Phillip smiled, "I don't deserve it, I really don't."
Daniel smiled, "This is a little different, I'm here to give you a choice. I was asked because I need to make it clear that there won't be a chance of living for me. I'm sorry, Dad," he told him.
Phillip slumped, "I knew that Evan was a long shot, I knew that the method was in its infancy, that there was a high chance it wouldn't work. It didn't, but I do love Evan, and I know he will never believe that."
"Maybe he will if you take my offer," Daniel told him, holding a hand up to stop Phillip from speaking again. "Now, the offer is for you to go back, back in time to just after I died. So Buck is going to be a baby, and Maddie will still be a child. I won't be there, but know that I'll be watching over you all," he said, giving his father a small smile.
Phillip stared at him, glancing at where his physical body was, "You mean... you mean I will get a second chance with them? With them both?" he asked.
"Yes, can you do right by them? Buck... Buck is in danger a lot, but he also doesn't think very much of himself. Therapy is helping him, but in time, what happened in this house? What he went through will continue to plague him, leaving him unsure of himself more and more. He'll be dead before his time, leaving behind a partner and a son who will be devastated and never recover from the loss. A sister grieving for a brother she had continually left behind. And friends and family that will end up with a hole in their hearts that they can't fill. Buck means a lot to a lot of people, the only person that he doesn't mean a lot to is himself. While his Captain loves him like a father, he needs his actual father, to know that he was loved by his family, and Maddie isn't enough. He feels betrayed because of you all hiding me. You have the chance to change it. Will you?" Daniel asked him, staring up at his father and waiting for an answer.
Phillip nodded, "I will do it right this time. I won't let Margaret have her way. She will never make them feel as though they aren't enough, because they are more than enough."
Daniel smiled, "Good, that's what they need. And as for Mother, she can go suck on a cactus."
"Daniel," Phillip admonished, but there was a twitch of his lips as he tried to keep himself from laughing.
"I say it like it is," he grinned, "Now, remember, next time you wake up, you won't be here anymore. You'll be back there, make the most of this second chance, Dad, and know that I do love you, and Buck and Maddie," he reminded him.
"I know, and you know I love you, have done from the moment I knew she was pregnant with you," Phillip said, his heart aching as all he wanted to do was hug his son one last time.
Daniel sighed, moving towards him, "See you, when it’s your true time, Dad," he said, hugging him tightly.
Phillip began to cry as he wrapped his arms around Daniel, happy that for a brief moment, he was solid. "Not for a long time, I still have two kids that need me," he murmured as his eyes closed and he knew nothing more.
XxXxX
Phillip woke with a jolt, he was in the bedroom, but not just any bedroom, but one he had been sleeping in while Margaret had Daniel in her room all the time to watch over him. It was early, too early to be awake as he glanced at the clock on the bedside table. He hadn't shared a room with Margaret again until they had moved to Hershey.
Phillip was quick to get up and head through the house, trying to figure out what the date was. He knew it would be some time after Daniel had passed away, that's what Daniel had said, after all. Phillip needed to know the exact date. In his pajamas, he hurried outside and grabbed the newspaper. He sighed when he saw that it had only been a day. Margaret hadn't tried to bury the fact that Daniel had existed. She would later that day. He needed to make sure he was ready for it, he wasn't going to let her have her way this time. Evan and Madaline were counting on him, and he would do right this time.
Phillip walked back into the house. It was quiet, he walked into the living room, seeing pictures on the walls that he hadn't seen in almost thirty years. Two children happy as they grew up, a baby being added at his and Daniel's insistence to the wall. "I won't let them down, Danny," he said, finally feeling free to use the nickname that his eldest son had preferred, but Margaret refused to ever let him be called in her presence.
"I know, good luck Dad," came a little whisper from behind him, "You've got a hard battle ahead of you."
Phillip nodded, knowing that he had, but not caring, Evan and Madaline were his children and he was going to raise them and love them like he should have shown right from the start.