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“WHAT DO YOU MEAN PHOEBE CATES ISN’T HOT?!”
Dustin is convinced that Mike Wheeler isn’t a real person. Like, seriously, who thinks that Phoebe Cates isn’t hot?
“Jeez, Dustin, chill out. I’m just stating the truth. She’s not that hot,” Mike says, casually, like he isn’t stating the most controversial thing in the universe. He’s just sitting there on Steve’s sofa acting all normal. Dustin can’t believe his audacity.
“Um, excuse you, Phoebe Cates is literally the hottest person in the world aside from Suzie poo,” Dustin says matter-of-factly.
“What is ‘hot’?” El asks.
“It means good-looking,” Dustin tells her.
Lucas chimes in. “I don’t know about Suzie,” he says, ignoring Dustin’s offended gasp, “but Mike, you’re totally wrong. Phoebe Cates is definitely the hottest person on Earth.”
“Excuse me?” Max asks, looking over at Lucas.
“Oh wait—I meant that Phoebe Cates is the hottest person other than you!” he amends quickly.
Max laughs. “Chill, I was just teasing. Phoebe Cates is totally the hottest girl ever. Once again, Wheeler, you’re wrong.”
“Ugh, whatever. Will, what do you think?” Mike asks, turning to Will (who’s sitting like half an inch away from him, by the way, but Dustin’s used to it).
“Me?” Mike nods. Gently. Once again, Dustin is used to it. “Oh, I don’t know, she’s not that good-looking,” he says, shrugging.
Mike cheers while everyone else is scandalized. “See? I told you guys!” Mike says happily.
Lucas rolls his eyes. “Well, of course he’s gonna agree with you.” Will turns a little red.
Mike splutters. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Now it’s Dustin’s turn to roll his eyes.
“Whatever. I’m bored, let’s do something. Steve! What bored games do you have?” Dustin yells into the hallway.
“Uhhhhh…Monopoly?” Steve shouts back.
They all look at each other and shrug. “Okay, can you bring it?”
“You’re so spoiled, Henderson!” Steve shouts back. Dustin hears him walking to the game closet and grins.
~~~
“NO! I’M NOT PAYING YOU!”
“DUSTIN, PAY UP! YOU LANDED ON MY PROPERTY!”
“NO, MIKE, YOU’RE LITERALLY IN JAIL! I’M NOT PAYING A CRIMINAL!”
“DUSTIN, YOU BETTER PAY THE FUCKING MONEY RIGHT NOW—”
El shifts beside Lucas. “Are they always like this?”
Lucas sighs. “Yup. Always.”
Max snickers next to him. “I can’t even see but this is entertaining as hell. Yeah, Wheeler, he doesn’t need to pay you!”
Lucas smacks his forehead. “Max, you’re really not helping.”
Max just rolls her eyes. “No shit, Lucas.”
Steve and Nancy walk in the room. “What’s going on?” Steve asks.
“Is Mike losing at Monopoly?” Nancy asks, smirking.
“No, I’m pretty sure Mike is winning,” El says. “Dustin won’t pay him money.”
Nancy’s eyebrows raise. “Wow. Can’t believe he’s actually winning something.”
Max snorts. “I’m with you on that.”
Lucas hums noncommittally. As entertaining as this is, it really needs to stop before he gets the world’s worst headache. But what can he do…
He looks around the room for something helpful, and his eyes land on Will, who’s watching the scene with a mildly worried frown on his face.
Oh, duh!
Lucas scoots up to Will. “Will!”
Will turns to Lucas. “Yeah?”
“Go mediate!” Lucas says.
Will scrunches up his nose. “What am I supposed to do about them?”
Lucas smacks his forehead again. Does he really not know? He looks up at Will. “Just go ask Mike for a soda or something.”
Will looks at him, bewildered. Like he hasn’t realized the effect he has on Mike. Lucas smacks his forehead. Again. (He really is going to get a headache at this rate.)
Lucas looks back at Will. “Just do it!”
“Alright, I’m going,” Will puts his hands up, rolling his eyes. He walks up to the argument like one would walk up to a bomb about to go off.
“Uh, guys?” Will tries.
“MIKE, YOU HAVE SO MANY HOTELS! I’M GONNA GO BANKRUPT!”
“GOOD!”
“Guys?” Will says louder.
“I’M NOT GIVING YOU ANY OF MY HARD-EARNED MONEY!”
“DUSTIN YOU BETTER PAY UP OR SO HELP ME GOD—”
“GUYS!” Will shouts, and both heads whip toward him.
Mike immediately pipes down. “What is it, Will? Are you okay?” he asks in the softest voice known to man. The Will Voice, as he and Dustin like to call it. Everyone else looks at them, stunned. Lucas smacks his head again, just for good measure. Mike doesn’t even move, only having eyes for Will.
Will blinks a few times, like it’s finally setting in just how different Mike acts towards him. (Finally. Jesus.)
Will snaps out of his stupor. “Uh, sorry, I just wanted a soda, but I don’t know where they are.”
Mike’s already walking to the door. “What soda?”
“Pepsi, please,” Will says, watching Mike go. Then Mike disappears from sight. Will turns back around and finds everyone staring at him in shock (minus Dustin and Lucas, who are way too used to this).
“Whoa, what?” Nancy says, looking at Will, then at the door, then back at Will. “How did you do that?”
Will still looks a little lost, so Dustin answers for him. “Oh come on, Nancy. You haven’t noticed?”
She shakes her head, mystified.
Lucas rolls his eyes. “Mike always calms down when Will is talking to him. Like, always.”
Max looks at him, head cocked. “Why haven’t I seen that?”
Lucas blinks. “I don’t know, actually. But before you and El joined our party, Mike and Will were attached at the hip. Literally could not pull them apart. They were a package deal,” he says. Dustin nods in agreement.
Lucas looks over at Will and sees a cherry red face and a confused expression. Mike walks back into the room with Will’s soda, handing it to Will with the utmost care and a gooey smile on his face. Then he frowns.
“Will, why is your face so red?” he asks, pressing his hand to Will’s forehead. Will looks a little like he’s about to faint.
Lucas smacks his head again, loud enough that everyone looks at him. He ignores them.
Will and Mike are going to be the death of him. He swears it.