Work Text:
2772 was an uneventful year.
On this particular Tuesday morning, Rev left his apartment earlier than usual. He wore his blue uniform and carried his skates. Yet another shift was on the horizon.
The roadrunner was so familiar with the route to work that he didn’t bother looking up at the colored sign as he walked through the entrance doors.
“It’s pretty toasty today, huh, Cookie?”
“Sure. Why don’t you go clean yourself up and get this order through.”
“Alright.”
Rev entered the restroom and slid on his skates. He adjusted his uniform while looking at his reflection in the mirror.
“It’s Tuesday already? Gee, time works in mysterious ways.”
Rev washed his hands.
He dusted himself off and gave himself a final glance through the mirror before leaving the restroom. Rev approached the counter with a congenial smile.
“I am here, sir.”
“Great. Here. It’s an order from you-know-who.”
Rev skimmed the now all too familiar address and gave an affirmative nod to the chef.
“On it.”
Rev zoomed out through the entrance door.
Rev always liked Tuesdays. There was a certain charm about this day. The weekends were always the busiest in terms of deliveries. Meanwhile, Tuesdays were always the slowest, and they came with the most leeway in terms of breaks. As a worker who was consistently on the move, it felt nice to not constantly be on edge.
With all of this said (or rather, thought), Rev enjoyed going at high speeds. It felt enthralling to glide through particularly crowded areas of the city without a hitch. At certain corners, the wind consumed his ears, and the sensation caused his body to shiver.
This specific address would have taken much longer to reach if Rev hadn’t discovered a shortcut. But he did. By taking a seemingly longer route and turning into a certain road, the roadrunner could reach this recipient’s address a lot more quickly than following the standard route.
And he did so today.
Rev stood at the door. He verified that this is the right address and the right order as per typical protocol. All checks out, he thought.
As a delivery boy, Rev was only required to press the doorbell once, place the order on their doorstep, and leave as per protocol. However, on this day, Rev decided to be extra bold; and so, he made three knocks on the door.
“Coming.”
In 2 seconds, a coyote opened the door.
“Hello, sir. Here’s your order.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Hey, wait!” The coyote requested eagerly.
“Yes?”
“This may sound kinda strange given your job and all, but do you have time?”
“Time to do what?”
“You know, just chat, I suppose.”
“Uh, yeah! I can spare fifteen minutes or so.”
“Fifteen minutes…Well, if you need to go right now, then I implore you to do so. I don’t want to pressure you to stay in any means. It’s like, I wouldn’t want you to lose your job or anything like that because a stubborn coyote held you just to talk.”
“Oh, no. It’s totally okay. In fact, I can stay and I want to stay! That’s why I knocked!”
“Oh…” The coyote’s heart began to rush with excitement. “Uh. Here, I can drop a big tip…or something! You know, to compensate for putting up with me.”
Rev snickered from his gratitude.
“Really? You would do that just to talk to me?”
The coyote dragged his words out more to show his sincerity:
“Yeah. And…also…because…I think…you’re pretty cool.”
“Wow. That’s…actually pretty cool to consider.”
The coyote’s throat grew tense. He took a second to swallow.
“Yeah. Well, it’s just, I can’t help but wonder. About you. A bit.”
“I kinda…wanted to talk as well. That’s why I knocked instead of using the doorbell. If anything, I thought that you were going to be pressured to talk by me. And I didn’t want that to be the case. I’m glad that it isn’t!”
“Uh. Yea. Good timing for me, then, haha.”
The canine wore a relieved smile. After all, he suspected that it would have been much harder to gain the interest of this delivery worker so that he could talk to him.
“Yeah, uh. For starters, why are you the only worker who shows up to my door when I order food from your place?”
“Ooh, I can answer that. You see, Quick Wrap is understaffed to the extreme, and by to the extreme, I mean that I am the only employee who gets this entire area of town…”
“Wait. You mean, the north-east part of town!”
“Yeah.”
“But—how?”
“There aren’t any other roadrunners who work there. And so I get the brunt of the distant deliveries. Thankfully, the only really consistent orders that I get are from…”
“Me?”
Rev nodded.
“Figures.” the coyote said.
“Yeah, you shouldn’t worry about my employment. You aren’t doing anything to jeopardize my job. In fact, I’m one of the few workers in this city who can handle the number of deliveries that I do on a daily basis. And the few people who can put up with such a low wage. That is to say, the business needs me.”
“Wow! Do you get an award or any recognition of that sort?”
“I don’t. Not officially at least. The other customers that I order from do like me, though. That’s it.”
“Shame.”
Rev smirked.
The coyote paused and laughed.
“I mean it’s a shame that you aren’t recognized by the establishment, not that you get recognition from other customers. Haha.”
Rev stood with a silly face.
“Sure, bud. Sure. Keep telling yourself that.” Rev layered on an excess of sarcasm in his delivery to make it distinct.
“Still not convinced?”
“No, not really. Have any other questions on the top of your head? Because I know you have some.”
“Oh, yes! Um…how are you today?”
“Pretty good, all things considered.”
“Good to know. What are your hobbies?”
“Reading, primarily. Running, too. That’s a given. But then again, I can get caught in pretty much any interest. Like recently, I became sucked into the production of books.”
“Book production?” Tech whispered in a curious and childlike tone.
“Yeah! Book production! There are a multitude of different factors that play into the production process of books. Of course, you have the cover, the pages, and the spine of a book; and these elements compose a book. But there are so many intricacies in the process including the embellishments on the covers, the production of the ink, the different ways that spines are manufactured, the design of the book covers, and so much more. All of this stuff is really intriguing to me. Besides, the machines are really cool-looking, too. Moreover, I think that it’s a shame that others take books and reading for granted. I mean, I hold books in high regard because they are a medium of art. And it bums me out to see others that are so disinterested in all forms of literature.”
“Wow, I—that’s all really cool. I’ve had my own interest in a bunch of obscure things as well. I can’t even begin to describe how I react when others talk about plumbing. It’s weird, I know, but it’s stylish-weird. To me, at least. Don’t get me started on water transportation, either. I could talk for days with the stuff that I know about it. But I digress. Haha. Uh, speaking of books, do you have any favorite authors?”
“Why yes, I do! I can list off a few dozen off the top of my head if you’d like.”
“I’d like to hear it.”
“Okay! Great! So, Ella Ormann is my all-time fav! Her prose just pops out the page. She deals mostly with infertility and poverty as themes in her work. Ugh, there are so many jaw-dropping moments in her novels, and it makes me so emotional, but in a good-way. Ugh, it’s so good. Ooh. Also, I love John Collers’ work. It’s essential true crime with a heavy reliance on irony. You have to read it for yourself to understand its worth. Let’s see now: there’s also Margaret Wills, Becky Denn, Tina Russo, Cactus DeMott, Tommy Cox, Elsie Chang, Denver Walks, Jessica Louthes, Linda Jack, and Christopher Reddick.”
As the coyote listened intently, he started to grit his teeth from embarrassment: he didn’t know the name of the bird that he was talking to.
Rev asked, “That was a dozen authors. Would you like to hear any more authors or is that enough for your liking.”
“No thanks. Uh…I’ve heard of Cox and Denn before. The others are unfamiliar to me. From the stuff that I’ve read from him, Tommy Cox had a lot of creativity. Some of his experimentation even bordered indecipherability at times. Even aspects like the plots of his books are very atypical. Like the plot to Unleashed was so weird and improbable. What, with a meteor crashing into a planet. And with the reveal that the meteor turned out to be—”
“Thrown towards the planet by that leader’s brother. Yes, exactly! But then this setting becomes the backdrop for characterizing the main protagonists, and this is very compelling partly due to the peculiarity of the plot.”
“Yes! You get it! It’s that outlandish creativity that provides juxtaposition for the characters! I never really got the complaint from critics that the story was edgy or melodramatic. Like, I can understand why some people were put off by such an unusual idea, you know. But you still can’t deny the sheer power in some of the lines. The allegories are really effective at conveying the author’s frustrations as well.”
“I know, right? Irony 101. The author’s diction is sublime. He always seems to have the perfect words to describe the scenery. And the subtlety of the progression of the core themes is breathtaking. So good. Tremendous, stunning, remarkable!”
“You’re taking the words out of my mouth…”
“I am?”
“Yea."
“You’re welcome. Or I’m sorry. Whichever helps you sleep at night.”
Tech smiled broadly. There was a pause in talking.
“Uh…”
The coyote’s face became visibly flustered, and Rev could see it.
“What’s wrong?” The roadrunner inquired.
Tech sighed.
Might as well ask him for his name *now*. There’s no point in delaying this further, he thought.
He swallowed briefly before talking again.
“Gee, I can’t believe that I have spent all of this time talking with you without even getting your name! How inconsiderate of me!”
“Well, let’s solve that now. I know yours, I think.”
“Give it a shot.”
“The Fur-mit.”
“What?”
“The Fur-mit! That’s what the other workers call you. It’s the synthesis of the words furred and hermit.”
“Well, they are wrong. That’s not my name.”
“Well, I actually know your legal name, too.”
“Which is?”
“Tech Coyote.”
“You are partially correct. My full name is Telemachus Emerson Coyote. Or just Tech E. Coyote. I just put Tech as my name on my orders, though, for brevity-sake.”
“Telemachus Emerson Coyote. Emerson is a pretty middle name.”
“Thank you. Even though I didn’t pick it. Heh. Now, what about you? What is your name?”
“My name is Rev! It’s R-E-V Runner. But most people call me The Speed Demon of Acmetropolis. And by most people, I mean the other employees.”
“Nice name.”
“Thanks. But just like you, I didn’t choose the name, actually.”
“R-Rev? Is that it?”
“Yep!”
“Great! Yeah. Excellent. Yeah. So…uh…Rev…I’ve been wondering…”
“Yes?”
“I would like to…I would like to know you…outside your suit.”
“Oh?”
“Like…a gathering, but just for us two…outside of your work hours.”
“Like a date?”
Tech jumped slightly upon hearing the word. He didn’t expect to hear that word at all. The word felt very potent, and Tech hoped that this suggestion of romance during their first chat wouldn’t dissuade Rev from wanting to talk with him further.
Tech replied with a bounce in his voice. He smiled goofily while talking.
“Oh! Um…sure! If you would like it to be…a date…then…yeah! But only if you’d want it to be, though. We can totally just be friends too, and that’d be totally okay with me…”
The coyote looked hesitant yet hopeful. He was still caught off guard by how much enjoyment he felt during this conversation, and he didn’t want it to end prematurely.
His brown fur couldn’t suppress his blush.
Rev smiled gently. He spoke.
“Erm…yeah. I wouldn’t mind. I’ve…never dated. I’ve never cared to, really. It’s just been a silly little thought that I’ve had in the back of my mind, you know, but I’ve never acted upon it. …I guess it’s been a faraway thought to me…to think that someone would actively want my presence; most of the time, people just view me as a nuisance, as a killjoy and whatnot. They see me as a talkative mega-nerd—which I am; don’t get me wrong! But…But I’ve enjoyed talking with you, Tech. You’re a funny dude. I’d…I’d like to date you. And besides, dating a cute little coyote wouldn’t hurt.”
Tech blushed intensely upon hearing the words cute and little. Typically, other strangers would never even consider those words as potential adjectives to describe him. And especially not from roadrunners.
“Hold on there. Did you just say that I am cute?”
“Of course! Look at you! With those big puffy cheeks.”
“…I don’t know how to react to compliments. Especially not cute.”
“Well, you are. Despite what anyone else tells you, just know that I think that you’re cute.”
“Wow. Well, I guess that I can accept cute for now…but definitely not little. We’re the same height!”
“Okay! You got me there.”
“Other than that aside, I feel exactly the same way as you described. I haven’t dated either; that is easily deduced from this conversation alone, haha. And these prescription glasses don’t change how others perceive me as a nerd, either. Which I am as well. And so I’ve dated no one too.”
“Oh, yep! I understand. So I guess we both are inept at dating, huh. Really assuring. Like, actually so!”
“Yeah.” Tech said. “I can’t wait to see you out of your suit.”
Rev blushed profusely.
“What? What’s wrong?”
“I understand what you meant, but the way that you phrased that sentence sounded very…forward of you.”
Shortly, Tech understood the implication of what he said, and he chuckled in response.
“Oh! Sorry! Like—not like that! I mean…”
The air grew thick with glee.
“It’s okay…I mean…” Rev insinuated with a cheery smile. “I wouldn’t be…totally opposed.”
Tech grew a shade darker of red on his cheeks.
“I was joking, Tech. Unless…” Rev teased.
“Wow, you are relentless with this joking. I meant to say, like, that I’d like to see you in normal non-work attire. Because…let’s face it. Your uniform’s not flattering. Especially that shade of periwinkle.”
“Hey, you’re the one who started this discourse in the first place! And if we’re talking about attire, then your fit is especially unflattering. Look at yourself! You have no fashion. It’s like you’re actively trying to repel all romantic advances.”
“Okay. I can’t deny my lack of fashion. And yet you still are under the impression that I am cute?”
“Yeah. You’re more approachable than anyone else that I know. Like, ever.”
“I am shocked. Approachable is the opposite of what most people think when they see me. A big scary coyote is all that they see and nothing more…”
“Well you are lucky that I am not most people because you are approachable.”
“Indeed I am lucky. Indeed I am.”
The two stood with blushes on their faces. Rev looked at the bundles of fur that lined Tech's face. He traced along his cheeks with his eye contact, taking in the shades of brown. Rev wasn't lying about his previous claims, and both of them knew it.
Concurrently, Tech still stood idly. He was happy that Rev took such an interest in him. However, there was a nagging feeling that tugged at the back of his neck: the time.
“Uh, Rev.”
“Yes?”
“...The time...”
“Oh, no. Ten minutes have surely passed by now, but I really want to talk more.”
“Welp, why don’t we conclude this…semi-date…so to say…with an information exchange?”
“Ooh, I’ll just use my work paper. I have a set of blank notes in case customers have…moderate complaints.”
In one second, Rev grabbed a pen and pressed on its cap. The pen made a satisfying click.
“I am ready. So…what’s your telephone number?” Rev asked.
“It is 381-654-7290.”
Rev bounced with ecstasy. His little hops caused his skates to make little clacks on the ground.
“Oh. My. Goodness. That’s such a cool phone number!”
“You know about polydivisible numbers?"
“Of course I know! H-How did you get that phone number?”
“I have no clue. Just luck, I guess.”
“Really strong luck, that’s for sure! I got it written down. 3-8-1—6-5-4—7-2-9-0?” Rev remarked.
“That’s correct. Okay. I’m ready, too. And yours? What’s your phone number?”
“Mine isn’t as special, but it is 388-272-7405.”
“3-8-8—2-7-2—7-4-0-5?”
“Correct!”
“Okay. I just sent you a message. Can’t wait to talk more, Rev…”
“Same! It’s been nice to know you so far! I have to go now, Tech. Toodle-oo!” Rev ejected.
Tech stood in the door frame. He watched Rev become smaller as he blended into the homogenous traffic. Tech waved his hand weakly.
“Toodle-oo, Rev. Toodle-oo.”