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It Is the Tradition

Summary:

The son of a shepherd will proudly respect a tradition... even when he's just heard of it.

Notes:

I originally made and posted this on Tumblr for Christmas time, it's really dumb but I'm putting this over here for any KevRolf fans out there in the wild, starving for content... enjoy. Thanks to the Tumblr amigos for the appreciation :)
Note:this is set when the characters are older teens and Edd and Eddy are a couple

Work Text:

The front door was opened by a beaming Nazz, not-so-Christmas-y music coming from inside the house.

“Heeeyyy, Snazzy… where’s the partyyyy?

“It’s right here, baby!!!”

Standing right behind his partner, Edd opted for a milder “Greetings”, earning a courteous nod from her.
"Has Ed arrived already?"

“Yeah! He’s…” She glanced back inside and giggled.
“He’s showing off his dance moves to Kevin and Rolf, actually.”
She let them in and led them to the living room.

“Hey, people… congrats, Ed, you came early.” Eddy punched his arm.
“I guess you get an extra present for this."

"Oooh, I can't wait to see..." He skipped in place with excitement.

Eddy moved on to the other two guests with a wicked smile.

“So tell me, handsome...” He reached up and patted the tall farmer’s stubbled cheek.
“Didya get any Christmas present for your boyfriend?”

Rolf’s eyes widened. “Boy… friend?”

Swallowing awkardly, Kevin forced a sneer.
“Tch! The comedian’s here… the only gay couple around right now is you guys.”

“I see the well-wishing Christmas regards are being regularly exchanged…" Edd rolled his eyes to hide his embarrassment. "Very reassuring.”

His partner checked his fingernails absent-mindedly.
“It gets kinda lonely, Kev... I was hoping we could strike up a club!"

“Ech…” Kevin stuck out his tongue. “Mind your own business. Can’t dudes be bros for once? Rolf and me, man…” He gave a strong pat on his friend’s back.
“We’re total bros, ain’t that right, Rolfo?”

“Oh, y-yes, Kevin! Eh…” Rubbing his neck, he made a finger-gun gesture. “Righteous, as you say!”

“Hu-huh, Kevo’s taught ya well! Been spending lotsa time together, I see…”

“Rolf’s mom made Kevin that sweater, guys!” Nazz walked in the room with a tray of eggnog glasses. “Isn’t that sweet?”

“Y-yeah!” Kevin put a hand on his hip. “Rolf’s parents are just cool like that.”

The short Ed squinted at them. “Eeehh... I got my eye on you…” He glanced at Nazz with a wink and she exchanged the sign knowingly.

Kevin decided to focus his attention on Ed, who was shifting his legs and feet along to the music, and with a certain intensity to boot.
"Ain’t gonna lie… ya got some good moves, dude!”

“Hehehe, thanks, Ke-whoa!”
SLAM!
Ed fell to the ground with a booming thump - in his fun, he’d managed to tie his shoes together through sheer foot-shifting.

“Wow, yer complimenting Ed now? It sure is Christmas time!”

“Hey, Eddy?" Nazz tugged at his arm.
"Could you help me in the kitchen a moment? You always say you're good with food...”

“Hehe, just tell me what you need, honey.”
He licked his lips the moment they walked into the kitchen.
“I don’t think this stuff needs any help, Nazzie.”

“No, actually…”, she whispered, getting closer to him.
“I need another kind of help… those two are driving me mad!” She waved her arms at him, frustrated.

“Who? You mean…” He let out a wheezy laugh. “I getcha... listen, I'll give ya five bucks if you can just get them under the mistletoe, right now.”

"How?"

"Double Dee once told me about, uh... the easiest solution being the best one! It was called, uh, someone's razor, or something like that..." He rubbed his forehead.

"Occam?"

He stared at her in surprise. "You know this stuff?"

"...It's basic philosophy, dude."

He frowned silently for a moment. "Whatever...", he muttered, reaching for one of the treats on the table. "Mmm, yumm-OW!"

She slapped his hand. "Don't steal!"

"Just one...", he pleaded.

"First we have to execute... Operation Mistletoe!" She laughed with glee.

While Ed and Kevin were trying to convince Edd to dance, Rolf peeked for the umpteenth time at the mistletoe hanging down from the rear archway - he’d been eyeing it since his arrival, and he finally took advantage of the commotion to absent himself and examine it. He moved under it, rubbing his stubbled chin as he inspected the decoration with doubtful eyes.

“Mmm... Rolf is not fooled by the false ornament…”

Edd overheard his mumbling and laughed lightly.

“...hey, Ed, check this out…”

He left Ed and Kevin to trade moves and walked up to the perplexed farmer. “It’s a fake mistletoe, isn't it? Of course you’d be bothered, Rolf.”

“Yes, it is not a real… mistletoe, as it goes in English. You people like to do forgery of plants, yes? Rolf will never understand…”

Edd shrugged. “Well… sometimes one requires an easy decoration for festivities. The symbolic meaning is what’s important, and this is one of the hallmark symbols of Christmas, after all.”

He saw Rolf was clearly puzzled by his last statement.
“Oh! Are you not familiar with the delightful mistletoe custom?”

Rolf shook his head. “In Rolf’s homeland, it is used in winter solstice celebrations… but what does it have to do with the celebration of senseless spending of consumer goods?"

"Um..."

"Gee, that sounds like something you'd say, Sockhead!"

Edd shushed him with a wave of his arm and collected himself.
“Ah, Rolf, well..." He proudly stuck a finger up, jumping at the opportunity to teach something to Rolf.
“It’s a tradition which started in Victorian England, in the nineteenth century. It’s quite simple, really. When two, ehm…partners stand under the mistletoe, well…”
He fidgeted with his hands. “They have to kiss each other. That’s it.” He shrugged and chuckled shyly.

“Aahhh…” Rolf leaned his head back in understanding. “Rolf’s ears like this meeting-of-mouths-ritual!” He laughed heartily.

Nazz caught Kevin staring vacantly at his ‘buddy’ and went to pinch his cheek, startling him out of his trance.

“Earth to Kevin…”, she whispered, before grabbing him by the shoulders.
“Sorry, Kev… you’ll thank me for this later.”

She suddenly threw him as hard as she could towards Rolf, making him bump roughly into his taller companion. Rolf had to hold him to keep him from tumbling to the ground - they exchanged confused glances before turning to Nazz.

“W-what the hell was that for???”

“Guuuyyysss…”

Beaming, she pointed above their heads. They looked up, and then at each other. Rolf was still holding him, and both their faces went tomato red.

“Uh? N-no way, dude!”, Kevin stuttered, freeing himself from the grasp.

“Ah-ah-ah, you can’t back out of it, Boxhead!”

“You were right, Eddy”, Nazz laughed. “It was that easy!”

"What are you-" Kevin gasped, suddenly feeling Rolf’s hand on his back, pulling him way too close to his face. The farmer scowled defensively at the others.
“The son of a shepherd will not let our honor be mocked! The tradition will be respected."

Mouth agape, Kevin lost his voice completely when Rolf turned to him again.

“We will show loudmouth Ed-boy and go-go-Nazz-girl, yes?” Grinning, he wiggled his mono-brow seductively before closing the distance between them.

Nazz squealed while Eddy erupted in incredulous cackling.

“Way to shut him up, Rolfy!”

Ed started clapping, soon infecting the others - even Edd couldn’t help but join in the scene. Rolf finally pulled away with a proud smile spreading on his blushing face.

“Hohoho! Many thanks, my friends! Many thanks…” He bowed dramatically to them.

Nazz whooped. “It was about time, you guys!”

“Kevo’s still reeling! Hahaha!”

Dazed, he saw Nazz wiggling her hand at the short Ed, a satisfied smirk on her face - he took out a five-dollar note and eagerly handed it to her.

“W-what the…”, Kevin sputtered. Feeling steam come out of his ears, he pointed a finger at the two accomplices.
“Is this a prank??? ‘Cause I swear…”

Rolf looked at him with a hurt expression. “Did you not enjoy Rolf's kiss?"

Kevin pouted, arms crossed as he turned away. "Not if it's a joke! Wait…" He glanced back. "You’re not kidding?”

Rolf’s frown melted into a reassuring smile.
“But of course, Rolf is not jesting, Kevin-boy!”

Kevin glared at him for a little more before his expression finally softened.
"Alright, then..."
He let his friend pull him into another kiss.

“Awwww!”

“HOORAY FOR KEVIN AND ROOOOLF!!!"

“Dammit, Lumpy, ya didn’t have to burst my eardrum!”

As the two under the mistletoe separated again, Kevin looked at their audience and finally cracked a sheepish smile. He turned back to his taller friend, who responed with a similarly goofy grin.

“It is the tradition, yes?”