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"Sorry." His breathing quickened. "Sorry." He felt himself choke up. "Sorry. Sorry." Tears streamed down his face. "Sorry. I-" He gasped for air. "I- I'm sorry." He dropped the blade and hid his face in his palms. "I don't know why." He sighed and lowered his hands, averting Will's eyes. "Sorry."
Without realizing it, Benji started picking at an old wound, but Will stopped him. He kneeled down in front of him and squeezed his hand. "It's okay, Benji. I'm not here to interrogate you. Just breathe."
In... out...
In... out...
In...
His eyes found their way to Will's, and he saw his panic reflected in the other man's eyes. He opened his mouth to reassure him- or rather, lie to him that he's feeling better, but not a single word came out. His eyes widened, and his breathing quickened. Oh no. Not again.
Will moved his hands to cup Benji's face and rested his forehead against his. "Benji, breathe. Please." He tried to sound calm, but his worry seeped through. Benji noticed, of course, and tried to keep breathing, but his mind was somewhere else entirely. He was back in Kashmir, back in that house, fighting against Lane. He closed his eyes and hoped it would stop, but that made everything so much worse. Now, he could feel the rope around his neck tightening.
Will noticed him slipping away. "Listen to my voice, stay with me, Benji." He didn't know what to do, so he kept talking to him, hoping it would help him get back to reality. "It's over, you're home..."
Benji curled up into a ball, making Will remove his hands from his cheeks and covered his ears. He shivered. The worst part of it wasn't that he could feel it, but that he could hear all of it as if it was happening right now. He wanted- no, needed it to stop.
Will moved closer to him and caressed his hair. He sighed and whispered, "Come back to me."
Not long after that, Benji's breathing became less panicky, and the tension slowly left his body, making way for the tiredness caused by his flashback.
"Sorry." He lifted his head. "You didn't need to see that. Any of it." Will shuffled until he sat next to Benji. "I'm sorry." Benji looked at him, wiping away the tears on his cheeks. "For what?" "For not noticing how much these missions were affecting you. For not being there for you. For not being able to help you." Benji smiled softly and shook his head. Then, he laid his head on Will's shoulder. "You do help. You help so very much." He took his hand and entwined their fingers. "If it weren't for you..." "I know."
Silence fell over the room. It wasn't necessarily an uncomfortable silence, but it for sure wasn't completely comfortable.
Will turned Benji's arm so he could see his scars and wounds. There weren't that many, and most of them looked almost healed, but there were a few newer ones that were still red. He turned his arm back around and closed his eyes. It hurt him to see Benji like this, but he knew that he'll be alright. If not tomorrow, then next week. He'll make sure of it.
He put his hand under Benji's chin and lifted his head up so that they were eye to eye. "Can you promise me one thing? It doesn't matter if it's night or day, if you're going through it or even if it's about nothing at all, just call me." He smiled. "I will."
Benji closed the small gap between them and planted a chaste kiss on Will's lips.
"Have I ever told you how much I love you? Because if I did, I was lying, because there aren't any words that can describe how much love I feel for you." Will was about to respond, but Benji wasn't finished yet. "I don't know why I said that. It's not that it's a lie, but I feel embarrassed at how sappy it sounded. It sounded way better in my head." Will chuckled. "You took the words right out of my mouth." "Which ones, that it was sappy or-" Before he could finish his sentence, he got silenced by a sudden kiss, less chaste than the one before.
"Does this answer your question?" Benji pretended to really think it through. "Hmm. Not sure. Can we try that again?" Will leaned in again, smiling contently.
The kiss was broken only to breathe, and for one last confession. "I love you too, Benji."