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Magnus shivers as a hot rush of air leaves Alec’s lips, a warm gust of wind against his collarbone. He presses harder on the knot in Alec’s upper back. It’s a stubborn lump of muscle just below his left shoulder blade that refuses to subside.
When Alec lets out an almost pained moan after another dig of his thumb, Magnus relents, opting to run his fingertips down the knobs of Alec’s spine instead. The corner of his mouth ticks up when he feels his boyfriend’s contented shudder. He continues his whispering caresses with his left hand as his right holds up a worn paperback, thumb and forefinger marking his page.
Alec is a warm weight on top of him. He’s soft and boneless after the warm shower Magnus had insisted on upon greeting his boyfriend at the door. He didn’t so much as feel Alec’s greeting hug as the shadowhunter had practically used him as a pillar to hold himself up. Not that Magnus was complaining. He would gladly be draped upon by Alexander Lightwood any day, but the context of exhaustion and weariness brought about by his lover’s duties will always be a cause of worry.
Now, clean from all the grime and thoughts of the day, Alec is weighed down by a peaceful drowsiness. He had stumbled out of their bedroom in a pair of his ratty old sweatpants and nothing else, immediately distracting Magnus from the novel he’d been perusing. Tomorrow was his day off from clients and today had been relatively slow, so he thought he’d get started on the book Izzy had been gushing about when they’d last talked. But even the idea of fresh new ideas to devour could never beat the mere sight of his Alexander walking over with a sleepy smile on his face.
Not for the first time, Magnus was struck by just how young this boy was. He was just a boy. A boy who takes on the world’s problems on his shoulders. And what Magnus would give to help him find any reprieve from this world. Oh, he would give anything .
Now, he opened up his arms for Alec and held him close when his boy all but collapsed in his arms.
“You can go back to reading your book,” is mumbled against the side of his neck where Alec’s lips are lightly pressed. He shifts and arranges himself on top of his boyfriend, forearms digging into the couch on either side of Magnus’s torso so he can hold himself up. “I just want to stay here for a bit. Is that okay?”
Oh, his sweet angel.
“Of course, darling.” Magnus smiles, basking in the way Alec’s eyes seem to light up. He knows that if this were a month earlier, Alec wouldn’t have even accepted Magnus’s offer to stay the night, mumbling something about simply dropping by because he had finished patrol and it was on the way back to the Institute. Now, he had simply smiled that slow smile again and dropped a kiss on the corner of Magnus’s mouth before ducking down to tuck himself small underneath his boyfriend’s chin.
After settling down, Alec stays quiet aside from the occasional hum he involuntarily lets out when Magnus’s wandering hands go over a sore spot on his back. Magnus, in turn, loses himself in the feel of Alec’s warm skin under his fingertips and the world of dreams that unfolds before his eyes.
It isn’t until he finishes his book and tosses it off the back of the couch that he realizes that Alec has fully succumbed to sleep. His breaths are calm, a soft rasp with each inhale.
He looks down to make sure and Magnus feels his heart lurch. He imagines it pushing hard against his chest in one mighty punch and is illogically afraid that it might wake Alec. That he might feel the offbeat way he makes Magnus’s heart pump and question him.
Magnus is afraid because he isn’t sure he’s even got the answers.
He looks down at the angel tucked against him and loses all his answers.
For all his years and experiences, he does not know how he can have this now.
His eyes trace long lashes that kiss pale cheeks. He thinks of hazel eyes that hide so much pain. He thinks of a heart so open to helping others, regardless of the bruises it takes.
He looks at the boy in his arms and wonders how he had managed to so quickly push past all the walls Magnus has built around his heart. Alexander Lightwood’s presence in his life had been as sudden as that arrow he’d shot past Magnus and was as effective in hitting its target. Sure, they had walked circles around each other and at one point Magnus felt like he was too hasty in his pursuit of Alec, but eventually they’d gotten there.
Here . Eventually, they got here. And what a wonderful place it was to be.
Here in this world, where Alec can come home to him and Magnus can pretend that it’s where he always belongs. Here, where Magnus can keep his angel safe from the world that he puts himself in danger to protect. Here, where Magnus can keep his heart and its keeper safe.
Alec makes a grumbling noise in his sleep, startling Magnus from his spiraling thoughts. He blinks himself awake, exhaling deeply. His voice is rough when he speaks.
“I’m sorry for falling asleep on you.”
“It was no trouble at all, my dear. You make for an excellent weighted blanket in this cold weather.” Magnus teases, willing his heart to calm and pushing his nagging thoughts away.
“It’s the middle of July, Magnus.” But Alec is smiling. “How was your book?”
“Fascinating. But as much as I’d like to share my analyses with you, I think it’s best we move to bed, hmm?” Magnus can see how Alec’s eyelids still threaten to fall and his words still struggle to tumble from his lips. And yet he seems determined to attempt conversation because he feels guilty for crashing the minute he gets home.
Oh, how truly sweet his angel was.
When Magnus finally manages to coax Alec up and into bed, he is immediately pulled into his lover’s embrace. Magnus chuckles and flicks his fingers to finish dimming the lights that he had meant to get to. “Isn’t this better, darling?”
Alec hums. “Anywhere with you is the best.”
It might be the exhaustion speaking, but Magnus still feels his stomach swoop in affection. He wiggles to turn around in Alec’s hold to face him and is met with that lovely smile.
I love you . The thought comes unbidden but it was not any less true. Yes. He is in love with Alexander Lightwood. With this beautiful man who is a warrior but also only a boy.
And maybe that’s okay. Perhaps this time, he can give his heart away and not have it broken into pieces.
Because when he looks into those hazel eyes, he sees himself reflected in them, and he sees the almost tangible contentment weaved into that vision. He sees Alec happy and Magnus can’t help but think that maybe happiness is meant for him too.
So instead of pulling away and leaving, Magnus stays. He drops his glamour and mirrors Alec’s smile. He pushes impossibly closer so they share the same breath.
“Good night, Alexander.” He whispers, closing his eyes and pressing a chaste kiss against Alec’s lips.
Alec’s arms around him tighten and it feels like reciprocation. Somehow, it feels like Alec has been there to witness all his warring thoughts because he feels a desperation bleed through. As if Alec is also swallowing back words that he’s afraid to let go just yet.
Instead, he breathes out a soft, “Good night, Magnus.” And just like that, everything is alright.