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Aziraphale is in Heaven, the Second coming apparently in motion, and Crowley is miserable. He knows from experience that there is no point in asking questions, he has given up any hope to get any answers millennia ago. But still, what if the Almighty heard him this time?
Crowley: How can I go on? Without Aziraphale, with the world sentenced to destruction? What is the purpose of this? What is the purpose of me? I'm so tired, so empty... God, are you listening? Are you laughing at me? You don't care, do you…
God: Crowley.
Crowley: (stuttering) Gggg... My God? Long time no see. (trying to play it cool, failing miserably)
God: I see you all the time, Crowley. Having questions for me, I hear?
Crowley: (swallowing hard) I'm at loss. Why does this world have to end? Those fascinating people, innocent children, amazing animals and plants... Does it have a purpose, to pluck it out of existence? How does this serve your ineffable plan?
God: I thought I have made myself clear. The last time you have brought it up? Fought for it, wanted to save it - and I let you have it.
Crowley: (perplexed) I'm sorry, I don't follow… Keep it? Have what?
God: The Earth, for my sake, what do you think we are talking about? You and your... Aziraphale wanted to keep it. But there are rules to this, you know. You can keep it, as long as you take good care of it. Train it, clean it, protect it and such. I expect long term commitment from both of you.
Crowley: We can keep the Earth? You don't want it gone? I have heard Jesus is coming back, judgment day, resurrection, and all? Heaven and Hell are getting ready for the final battle. Archangels are getting all excited, Megatron recruiting and promoting. Is that not your ineffable plan?
God: I know nothing of this nonsense. And I do not want any part in it, you and that angel of yours should be more than capable to do your job and stop take care of that. Unless you are telling me you have changed your mind? Is it too much work for you already?
Crowley couldn't be more baffled, but knows a chance when he sees one, crack of light in darkness.
Crowley: No! Yes! I mean, sure, we still want it. Capable. Yes. We are. Will sort it out, no worries. So, no Jesus wandering around? No loud trumpet calls and judgment day?
God: He may come to visit, yes. And if you are not good planet parents, he may judge you, it is his birth planet in the end, can't blame him for being attached. (God smiles) I trust we have an understanding now, yes?
Crowley: Sure! Uhhm. Thanks. Will do our best.
God: Good then. Say hello to Aziraphale from me. (disappears).
Crowley exhales, eyes wide. What just happened? Can someone please explain to him what just happened? And how is he supposed to pass the news to Aziraphale? They should be more than capable to take care of this, She said. That's gonna mean something. That's worth exploring, isn't it? Planet parents? Even better than Antichrist's godfathers. This is going to be interesting, grinned Crowley, as ideas start forming in his head.