Chapter Text
It was complete darkness for all but a singular column of light. Where it landed: a circle of eerily-still water about 20-metres wide; where it originated, a similarly proportioned hole in the vast, expansive rock ceiling that hung over the underwater lake. Emerging out of the darkness into the light was the figure of a mermaid: statuesque, resplendent, made of toffee, and perched upon the bow of a candy junk sailing over the dark waters of the lake. With a hull of gingerbread, sealed watertight with fondant, the boat slowly floated to a stop right under the column of light, and upon its deck a shrouded figure emerged from behind the wheel to stand by its edge. Placing their hands upon the side, the hooded figure peered over the edge into the dark water below. With a hushed voice, they spoke dark, profane words:
“Dios Apate Erat Calidus.”
For a moment, nothing. The waters remained still and the great cave holding them remained shadowed. But then — distant at first, but growing in intensity to an eventual crescendo — a rumbling emanated from below. As the sound echoed and reverberated around the cavern, the surface of the lake became disturbed. Ripples fanned out from a point only a stone’s throw away from the side of the junk, soon becoming waves as something large and dark began to emerge from the incalculable deep. A shadow, momentous and inconceivable in size, hid just below the water, its magnitude dwarfing the ship ten-to-one. And then — facing up towards the figure on the boat from the waters below — two large, incandescent white eyes opened.
“Who dares disturb the slumber of That Which Lies Below? ” the shadow boomed, its ancient, bassy voice amplified by the cavern.
The figure upon the ship spoke: “I come representing the Candy Kingdom.”
That Which Lay Below chuckled. “Peppermint Butler? Can’t say I remember you being so tall.”
‘No…” said the figure, ominously, before lowering their hood. Freed from the confines of the black cloak unfurled a head of pink, sticky hair, atop which sat a crown of gold. “He’s… indisposed right now.”
Another chuckle reverberated from below. “Oh-ho! The great Peppermint Butler? Indisposed? Ahaha! Whatever it is, I’m sure he deserves it.”
“Yeah, look,” Princess Bubblegum said impatiently, “Can we just get this over with? If I’m gone too long the candy people will probably elect a new princess again or some jazz.” As she spoke, she fished an antique-looking china vase from her cloak, the opening jammed with a cork and held in place with leather straps and mystic-looking wards.
“Dear, dear: you terrestrials are so impatient these days. Don’t you kids know profane sacrifices to sate eldritch horrors from the deep are best enjoyed if you take it slooooow? ”
Bubblegum shrugged. “As far as I’m concerned, this is all a bunch of bunkus. I’m only bothering with this to play it safe.” She lifted the vase up above her head and unceremoniously hammered it down on the side of the ship mid-sentence; the vase cracked but failed to break. “The Kingdom has been through a lot lately, so I’d really rather not risk you coming and eating it or whatevs.” She continued to slam the vase against the gingerbread gunwale, more and more cracks appearing with each subsequent hit. Finally, with one last hit, the vase shattered, sending shards of fine china flying out into the water. As it broke, a cavalcade of screaming ghosts sprung out from within, their cries piercing and their expressions twisted in eternal anguish. They attempted to fly out, shooting for the hole in the rock many leagues above. But before they could, the shadowed beast below the water opened its leviathan maw and began to inhale, whipping into creation a whirlpool that jostled and shook the Princess’ candy junk boat. The ghosts cried in terror as they were dragged violently downwards into the swirl, each being swallowed by That Which Lay Below.
“Mmm, nothing beats the souls of a hundred antediluvian warriors killed in the heat of battle,” it warbled, satisfied. “Gotta ask Pep-But where he gets ‘em; who's his dealer, y’know?” Princess Bubblegum had already turned away, heading back to the helm of the ship to stand behind the steering wheel.
“Yeeeeaaaaah no; he’s not gonna be up in this biz for a while.”
“Aww. I hope he’ll be back next century.” But the Princess did not reply — she had already set off, sailing out of the column of light back into the dark recesses of the underground cave.