Chapter Text
Deep in the endless void of space, the vast and cold velvet black was pierced by twinkling stars, hundreds of millions of light years away. For as vast as the universe was, it seems to be just as empty; but for those brief moments of life that passed though time like waves on a dark beach, there was something else in this corner of the universe to pierce the dark. In deep space, what one would consider massive had no true scale of reference; bigger than meteors that would fly but smaller than satellites that orbited planets was a fleet of metal ships.
The ships were launched hundreds of years ago, traveled thousands of lightyears by the dominant species of a dying world. SEEDS was thought to be the last great project of humankind by those who took part in it. A mission to go out into the universe, as far into the local bubble as it could to find a new home for their species, one they hopefully wouldn’t destroy this time. Dozens of spaceships grouped together, there were smaller probe ships that could zip down to plants they passed to collect samples to test for a new home. There were some the size of old sea shipping vessels used to move cargo and people between the largest of the ships where hundreds of thousands of people sleep in cryogenic pods.
There were also smaller ships that only carried the energy source of this great endeavor; plants. These bio-powered reactors were a mystery to most of humanity, even those who worked with them directly didn’t know all their secrets. During their voyage, the plants offered up a new mystery to the crew that was awake at the time on ship 5. A new leap in their evolution or a spontaneous adaptation; the human researchers were too quick to use this new lifeform to truly answer that question. What remained at the end of a few months of study were secured away for a later date, those involved returned to sleep with various degrees of guilt or regret for their transgression.
One of those crew members who took on the title of ‘sinners’ Rem Saverem swore to herself that should any other such event take place again during their mission, she would do all she can to help any child born on the ships.
To qualify as a passenger on the SEEDS program, there wasn’t as much of a requirement as one would have thought. The organization behind it wasn’t looking to simply preserve the wealthiest people or only the young. Anyone from anywhere could enter the lottery for passage so long as they passed a simple health screening and criminal background check. You just need to have a mostly clean past and be healthy enough for the cryo-sleep process, between the ages of 8 and 50. Most important was to not be pregnant; it was determined that the cryo-sleep process would hinder fetal development to the point of birth defects or making the pregnancy unviable.
Most people were more than willing to comply with that requirement if it meant a chance of starting a new life somewhere clean and safe. However, between submitting a health exam and boarding a ship, the time frame could be between a few weeks to three months so there was time for accidents to happen.
Rem had multiple duties as a crew member of SEEDS, she was first and foremost a navigation officer; she had to help chart their course and avoid obstacles. She also had a minors degree in plant research, enough to take readings, lend input on their upkeep and take observations. After what happened on her last rotation, she took the solo shift, now she also needed to ensure the upkeep of her ship while she was awake. One thing she wasn’t was a doctor, there were medical staff that could be woken up and automatic healing pods for minor things.
During her round checking on the passenger chamber, one of the pods several stories up had a flashing red light, never a good indicator. The technology that led to cryo sleep was advanced but there was always the risk of something going wrong, nothing was ever one hundred percent safe. Rem activated the system to bring the pod down, the hydraulic system popped it out of its row and rotated it down to the floor.
Rem frowned as she tapped on the small screen displaying warnings due to an error in the system. Even if someone was cryogenically frozen, there were still biological needs to ensure they could actually be woken up; oxygen needed to be carefully regulated and moisture build up posed a risk to vital organs. Rem was very much not a doctor but knew enough that things didn’t look good for the woman in the pod.
She had the system take the pod to the medical bay and followed with it do work the automatic systems but got started on weakening up one of the medical staff members. The malfunctioning pod started the wake up procedure for the occupant once it was removed from the cryo hall.
Rem was doing her usual list of daily items to check on once her primary duties were done, check on the plants, check on the cryo hall, check the ships logs. It had been a month since the first incident on her rotation happened and she had come to learn the woman’s name was Valerie. Rem made her way to the medical bay; she could hear the steady beeping of the heart monitor as she entered the room proper. The woman had suffered brain damage and renal failure due to the malfunction; she was still alive and conscious but that was tenuous.
There was also another medical complication Valerie had to contend with; she was well into the second trimester of her pregnancy. The doctor that Rem had woken up was doing the best they could but informed Rem and Valerie it was likely that the fetus probably wouldn’t make it to term even if Valery did. Rem just hoped for the best for both Valerie and her possible child, she had one of the plants manufacture an incubator just encase.
Another month passed and with that, so did Valerie. With an emergency c-section the very premature baby was placed into the double-walled incubator. Rem remained out of the medical bay during the doctor’s long procedure, not only because this was well out of her field but even if this was an actual doctor doing life-saving work, it reminded her too much of the last operations she had watched.
As the weeks passed, Rem spent more and more time in the medical bay, even if she couldn’t see into the incubator, she listened to the beeping of the heart monitor and other medical equipment. The doctor she woke wasn’t a pediatrician, this was out of their field too but they remained awake, offering to stay with Rem until they got to the thirty-seven week mark if it made it to then. The baby didn’t have good odds with them; not only having to be removed and incubated but due to being frozen so early on in their development meant they weren’t growing well, that they showed signs for a life of possible health risks if they made it that far.
With ten weeks to go to a full term, Rem was sitting in the chair next to the incubator, her head in her hands and elbows on her thighs. Last night their heart stopped for a moment, the flatline of the monitor cursing a wave of grief Rem didn’t know she could still feel after the loss of Alex and Tesla. But after what felt to her too long, the monitor beeped again, the doctor confirming that the baby was still alive after she left for them to be checked on.
Rem made that promise to herself that she’d do all she could, should another child be born on the ships; though this isn’t white what she had in mind and the baby wasn’t technically born yet.
July 21st, the doctor cleared the baby to be removed from the incubator and it was officially their birthday. He was still small for a newborn, even one at a full forty weeks but Rem wrapped him up in a soft blanket and shed a tear as she smiled down at him. Despite all of his health issues and rocky birth, the child had a full head of golden blond hair and the deepest bluest eyes Rem had ever seen. He wasn’t crying as he was removed and healed in her arms, just babbling softly.
“Happy birthday… Vash.”
Rem ran a thumb along his chubby cheeks, across a mole under Vash’s left eye and actually giggled, a bright and wonderful sound she thought.
The doctor went back down to their cryo-sleep, the automatic medical systems would be able to check on baby Vash and now that he made it, she would need to wake one of the pediatricians for his care.
Rem was many things, a Navigation officer with a minor in plant studies, able to keep a spaceship going all on her own (with the help of the auto systems) but she wasn’t a doctor or a mother; till now.
She was one year into a five year rotation but now with Vash in the picture, she’d have to remain awake for at least eight years or until Vash could go to cryo-sleep with her. Rem also knew there would be the possibility that Vash might not ever be healthy enough for cryo-sleep and if that was the case… she’d just have to live the rest of her life on the ship with her adopted son.
The first year with baby Vash was hard, Rem would never say otherwise. Making it out of the incubator wasn’t a guarantee he was in the clear, there were health scares but he’d make it; in no small part thanks to Rem’s access to plants being able to produce anything she needed. Even his nutrients enhanced formula was made fresh by the plant in the medical bay daily and the pediatrician Rem woke up to program the med bay’s auto systems left detailed instructions on what she needed to have made for Vash. The pediatrician also insisted Rem wake him up at least once a year to check in on Vash and gave consent to be added to the emergency wake up protocol.
Vash was in the best hands possible considering the circumstances of his birth. Rem sat Vash up in his highchair, a small cake placed on the tray attached to it and she dashed back to record his first birthday.
“Go on, Vash; smash your cake!”
A pair of bright blue eyes looked up at her, babbling his confusion until Rem mimicked smashing the cake with her free hand, the recording shaking with her movement. Eventually Vash looked down at the cake and took one hand to it, smearing his chubby hand with frosting. As soon as Vash put his frosting covered hand in his mouth, his eyes sparkled and he headbanged into the cake.
Rem’s laughter was loud enough to clip on the recording. Vash lifted his head, face fully covered in cake, bits of green frosting clinging to his blond hair.
Vash’s fourth birthday was coming up and with it, the end of Rem’s shift. Rem didn’t know who was more nervous for the shift change, her or Vash. Aside from his pediatrician that he saw a few times a year, it was just the two of them awake on the ship; unless you’re Vash and count the plants.
Vash was instantly enamored with the plants once he turned three, in the way a toddler gets fixated on dinosaurs, trains or the wild west. He would always ask Rem to take him with her to do her daily check up on them. Rem just smiled and reminded him more than a few times not to touch the glass his small hands could reach. She did worry about his socialization, having grown up basically in isolation but he was already such a sweet and caring little boy; she knew the next crew would love him.
After a solo shift, there was a crew shift so five people would be woken up by the system in a few days. She just hoped they wouldn’t mind spending some time with Vash, after all, he was going to have to be a part of her debrief report. If things went well with Vash and the next crew, Rem thought that maybe when he was a few years older she could start taking him to visit the other ships. Vash had been able to speak in simple sentences, he got loud when excited but overall his mental development was progressing along well, though he was still small for his age and prone to getting sick.
As the next crew woke up, Rem had Vash wait in his room, not wanting to overwhelm either party. Sure enough most of the crew took a liking to Vash; there was one hold out in the mechanical engineer Steve. Rem offered her help to the awake crew but she was officially off shift, and while that should have meant she was in cryo sleep, it meant focusing her attention on Vash. The awake crew attended his birthday parties and most of them were happy to show Vash what it was they did for SEEDS.
Rem felt like she blinked and suddenly it was time for that crew to go back down and Vash was turning nine. Rem’s fears were confirmed when Vash was deemed too at risk for cryo sleep, the pediatrician saying his health issues could lead to him not being able to handle the wake up process and they could try again in a few years. Rem and Vash waved goodnight to the crew as they entered their pods, Vash noticeably shying away from Steve who still didn’t like him after their five years.
“...Rem…”
Rem looked down at her right side where Vash was standing next to her, his head bowed down and shoulders hitched up; she could tell he was keeping back tears. She knelt down next to Vash, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder but not forcing him to turn to look at her.
“Vash, honey, what is it? Are you sad to see your friends go?”
The boy shook his head, his hair had gotten long as it had been a while since she last cut it, his eyes hidden by long bangs.
“Rem… Am I keeping you from your chance at seeing the new world? Steve said you’ll die on the ships because of me.”
Rem couldn’t help the gasp that left her. She knew that Steve was rough around the edges but to say something like that to a child? Rem thought back to the cruelty of the sinners that were blinded by scientific discovery but to have pure malus towards a sweet thing like Vash? Rem was thankful Steve wasn’t awake during Tesla…
“Oh, Vash no!” Rem pulled Vash tight into her arms, hugging him as tightly as she felt safe to.
“Remember what I told you about my dream? You filled that blank ticket of mine.” Rem pulled up the sleeve of her tunic and rubbed away at the tears in Vash’s eyes, holding his chin up slightly to look up at her.
“No matter what happens, I’m here for you, Vash. You’re way better than anything we might come across. And anyways, who’s to say we won't find our new home within our lifetime. Now, I bet I know what would cheer you up; how about we go see the plants and you show me what you’ve learnt?”
Vash still sniffled slightly but nodded, hugging Rem as tight as he could in return. After he caught his breath and his tears dried, the two of them walked to ship 5’s plant chamber. Rem said he'll be old enough in a few more years to visit one of the plant carriers where the ship was almost nothing but plants.
As the door swooshed open, Vash pulled away from rem, running slightly to one of the plants that was within reach of the walkway. Vash smiled and waved to it.
“Good morning Lily!” Vash moved to the control panel for the tank, starting up the report sequence and tapping away, entering the code for creating flowers.
Rem chuckled as she caught up, bending over slightly to look over Vash’s shoulder and watched the bright young mind working away.
“You’ve named her Lily?”
Vash turned around to look up at Rem, beaming a bright smile, one front tooth missing. “Yup! I noticed you ask her to make white lilies every now and then so it seemed like a fitting name! They are already plants so I thought naming them all after flora made the most sense!”
Rem’s smile faltered slightly at the mention of the flowers she made for Tesla. She hadn’t told Vash about that, he was still too young to learn of such a horrible thing she took part in, he truly loved the plants. Rem thought to herself ‘maybe one day when he’ll be old enough to understand.’ She put her smile back on her face as best she could “that sounds lovely. I can’t wait to take you to meet more plants. You’ll probably be the best plant engineer ever once you’re old enough to officially start training.”
For Vash’s fifteenth birthday they were on their way to ship 23, the largest of the plant carriers. Vash was at this point a very lanky teen but Rem couldn’t be more proud of him, though she just felt bad that she was slowing down in her late forties as Vash was picking up steam. He was still thin and short for his age but he had less trips to the med bay the past few years, even if he still wasn’t deemed fit for cryo sleep.
He had a good appetite like any teenager should at least; Rem was thankful that anything Vash wanted could be made on demand by the plants. Remembering tales from her dad about how much he literally ate away at his parents salary at that age. Even without being officially enrolled in the plant engineering program, he was able to order up anything food related, seeming to know all the programming codes off by heart.
Rem still hadn’t told him about Tesla. Vash had seen her go off towards the research room with her white Lillie in hand; Vash was thankfully a good listener and didn't follow her when she asked him not to. She’d wait till he was done with the course she told herself; that way he'd better understand why they were all so blinded…
“Rem, this is incredible!” Vash was pressed up to the window of the transporter, looking out into the vastness of space as they moved from ship 5 to 23. The transport ships honestly made her a little queasy, not as much as the zero gravity chamber that Vash seemed to love.
“We can see space from windows in our ship too, you know Vash.”
Vash shook his head, looking from the space around them to Rem. “It's different, you know? Our ship is so big, you can forget you’re even traveling through the universe. Even the biggest windows in the rec room have a screen overlay to look like old earth’s sky. This feels… I don’t know, more real I guess? It’s probably like the difference between being on a big cruise ship and a rowboat? Or I guess for me… like living in a big land locked city versus a small coastal town?”
Rem had a soft sympathetic smile on her face at that. Every now and then she was reminded about how different Vash’s upbringing is from everyone else’s. Even if they do find a new home within their lives and wake up everyone, Vash will always be unique from them.
“I see your point.”
They were pulling into ship 23 now, Rem had been in communication with that ship’s awake crew for weeks. Though Vash was only fifteen now, he had completed his high school diploma, even with prescribed brakes. Rem had offered to Vash to take a few years to just enjoy himself, that there was no rush in starting his training to become an official crew member. Her heart broke slightly when he said, “There’s no reason not to keep moving along, there’s not really anything much to do for even a few months at a time without working.”
Again she was reminded about how isolated poor Vash was, even with crews waking up and going back to sleep. His love of plants never waned from when he was three so there was no real question what his eventual career path would be. Vash was just as excited to start his six year higher education program, Rem was sure he’d finish in record time too. She was also nervous as this would mean he’d be transferring to ship 23 full time. It seemed too soon to her for him to leave the nest.
Rem herself was going to remain stationed on ship 5 but she assured Vash she'd remain awake the whole time. Vash tried to argue with her that she should go down for cryo sleep while she could; she was approaching the cut off age. “I meant what I said, so long as you’re awake, I’ll be awake.”
The first clash Vash had with his instructor was on what Rem never told him was apparently rule one of plant engineering; don’t personify individual plants and don’t name them. Each individual plant was to be referred to by its serial code.
Vash argued that getting to know the plants meant you could know what they were best at and get better reading from them. That while he understood they were a hivemind, each plant had a little personality of their own.
Rem got a stern email from the lead plant engineer of 23 far sooner than she expected, and she only had herself to blame. She herself was never the strongest follower of rule one, only minoring in plant research and having fondness over the beings. She messaged back, asking to keep in mind how Vash only had plants and a handful of people growing up; to remember that Vash was raised by plants as much as herself.
Over the years, Vash and his instructors butted heads several more times, though at age nineteen he was close to finishing the program. The current biggest sticking point has now fallen on the use of ‘Last Runs.’
Vash was horrified by the images of them in his textbooks, asking how such a thing could be done. When the instructor went over the process of overloading the plant to get it to produce as much energy as possible; Vash slammed his hands down on the table.
“That’s not what I mean and you know it!”
“Vash! Last Runs are necessary to prevent a plant meltdown. Thankfully it’s rare that one is needed as we’re able to upkeep their maintenance but if you want to finish your degree then this is a vital part of plant engineering.”
Vash glowered at the instructor, sitting back down but closing his textbook to not have to look at the pained faces of those poor plants.
“You’re a smart kid, you know that plants need us to keep them in check; you’ve done enough plant readings to see that firsthand. This is part of why we don’t personify plants or give them names. Yes they have some degree of sentience but never forget that they are a hivemind and the bodies we see are just a part of them. It’s no different than cutting off the tail of a lizard; we’ll grow it back.”
Vash knew he wouldn’t be able to reason with the engineer instructing him this year. They were from the first age of plant creation, unable to see the plants as anything but tools. Vash gave a short nod and opened his textbook back up, focusing over the words rather than the pictures.
While Vash kept quiet and did his work, he committed to himself that he'd never do a Last Run as long as he could help it. If no one else was going to look for another way, he’d find it.
“My little boy is all grown up!” Rem was crying, hugging Vash as tight as she could. He was strong enough to survive one of her full hugs now, at least for a little bit.
Vash had officially became a SEEDS plant engineer at age twenty and was now part of ship 23’s crew; He even signed up for a solo mission on one of the smaller plant carrier ships. Rem was off duty at the time and had shuttled over for his graduation, it was only a year ahead of schedule but given how much he butted heads, she was just glad he got to finish.
Rem still hadn’t told Vash about Tesla. At this point she knew she was doing it out of her own selfishness. When Vash reacted so strongly to learning about Last Runs, how upset he was over the plant engineers and researchers not working on an alternative; she didn’t want to see the look on his face if he had known what she was a part of. ‘Maybe one day’ she told herself.
Vash had a few years before he’d began his solo mission, for now he was working with the current awake crew on ship 23 but he’d take some time off to visit rem on ship 5.
“Who would have thought it, eh?” Vash laughed, hugging Rem back, he’d managed to grow a bit taller than her over the years. She was past the cutoff age for cryo sleep now, Vash knew she had no regrets abouts staying awake, Rem had beaten that into him many times over the years but he still worried for his mom.
Vash was on his way to visit Rem on ship 5 before starting his solo mission on ship 18. He’d radioed in before boarding the transport ship and Rem asked if there was anything he’d like in his room.
“Surprise me! How about we play a game; you have Lily make a flower and I have to recognize it by the code before seeing it.”
“That seems almost too easy for you! I’ll make something, no guarantee it’ll be a flower.”
“You’re on!”
They laughed over their communication device and Vash enjoyed the view as always as he made his way to ship 5. It really did feel like coming home, every time he came to ship 5; Rem and his favorite plant Lily. Vash didn’t mind that he still wasn’t cleared for cryo sleep, he was already enjoying his work and looking forward to his first solo shift. He’d get to work on personal plant research when he’s done his daily tasks to work on new ways of keeping the plants happy and healthy.
When the transporter docked and Vash hitched up his bag, he wasn’t too surprised to see Rem wasn’t there. She was probably waiting for him in the plant room so Vash made his way there. Not too far out from the plant room, Vash was suddenly hit with a wave of nausea that stopped him in his tracks and caused him to drop his bag.
At first Vash thought it was something to do with going from the fast transport vessel to the passenger ship but as he tried to catch his breath; he smelt chemicals. Coughing, Vash went through his bag till he found a full face respirator, getting it on as quick as he could and then ran to the plant room.
As the doors opened, Vash walked into a nightmare. The smell had been what he thought; the fluid that plants were suspended in; highly, highly toxic to humans to breathe let alone come in contact with.
Something had gone wrong. The chamber where plant created materials were formed had somehow malfunctioned. Whatever it was Rem had made was long dissolved by the chemical soup Rem’s whole right arm was gone, eaten away from where she made contact with it and she was laying facedown on the metal floor before Lily.
Vash didn’t know how he didn’t vomit in his mask, he was just standing at the doors, in total shock at seeing his mom laying still, the stump left of her arm wasn’t even bleeding, a blue foam around it. Most stunning of all, he saw that Lily had bloomed; large eyes were turned in worry at Rem before her, hands with long extended digits pressed to the glass on her side of the tank.
Vash was snapped out of his stunned horror and ran to grab the large bag of neutralizing powder. He ripped it open with more force than he knew he had and dumped the whole bag over Rem and the chamber.
He got a hazmat suit on, not even fully zipping it up before he grabbed Rem.
“REM! REM!!”
Even with the neutralizing powder having cleared away the foam at her stump of an arm, there was no blood; her heart had stopped pumping long enough now. Vash looked up from Rem’s face, her eyes were closed but her mouth was slightly open, her lips dry and chapped. He looked up at Lily who had such an intense look on her alien face that Vash thought he could almost feel her thinking. Her hands were still pressed to the glass and he brought her forehead to touch it too, large eyes closing.
Vash shakily got up, holding Rem up as best he could and carried her out to the med bay. Before he turned to look away, he caught a glimpse of the input screen; the last thing that had been programmed was a red geranium.