Archive of Our Own

vii. angel

“Let's go, Mika-san.”

She says, as composed and dignified and lovely as she's always been. Somehow, before he knew it, he's grown fond of that side of her. The mask of noble elegance she created to hide her true self.

“As you wish, princess,” he laughs probably a little scornfully, but by now she's gotten used to his antics. He has to admit, he misses the time he could get a few comebacks from her with a few choice words. He misses both the cheerful, happy-go-lucky girl and the arrogant, cruel mistress. Now she's just nothing but professionalism and some cliché family stuff she probably got off a book.

Not that it's any of his business. It's just a passing thought.

He doesn't have time to dwell on his thoughts any further, because that is the moment she leaps into battle. Her sword dances in the air, as elegant, beautiful and deadly as its owner, and he looks at the vampires beneath her feeling a little jealous. If they have to be killed to truly die anyway, there is no better way to die than under the hands of an angel.

i. beginning

“Any last words…?”

It sounds awfully cruel. The Lieutenant Colonel's gaze pierces through the fatally wounded boy; there's nothing in his eyes, nothing in his voice. He might as well be asking if the boy wanted soy sauce or ketchup on his omelette, and the thought is so nonsensical she feels like breaking out into hysterics.

Yuu opens his mouth as if to say something.

He doesn't.

Just like how the Colonel's gaze goes straight through him, he's not looking at the man hovering over him either. He's looking somewhere far away, somewhere he must look at no matter what. The ruins of battle? The corpses of humans and remnants of vampires? A flash of blond hair frantically searching for him amidst the commotion?

“Yeah, there's no doubt Mika is to the west, right?”

“I'll definitely get Mika back.”

It's sad, really. To hinge your life so desperately upon a promise that is about to be broken.

“So help me out, okay?”

“...Geez...Well fine, I guess.”

...It's sad, really.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Later that day, when the two of them have cremated all the bodies (the ghost of a smile on Yuu's face will haunt her until the day she dies) and rehearsed their lines (MIA, probably will never come back; pity we never got to dissect the boy, his body could have been used for the Seraph research; she thinks she hears those bugs chatter) she stops by the Colonel's. Because unlike that hotheaded idiot, Shinoa doesn't make promises she's going to break.

That idiot, she heard him whisper. How many times did I tell you not to overexert yourself and now look where it got you, he breathes out.

His voice is shaky, but it doesn't break. He used up his tears for the dead a long, long time ago.

Unfortunately, fortunately, he is no longer a stranger to pain. 

The door opens, and she manages to jump back quickly enough to barely fool him into thinking she's just passing by (it's not exactly wrong). She asks him what's for breakfast, and he barks out a laugh that sounds more like the cry of a wounded animal.

Predictably, the blond boy with blue eyes and a frankly rotten attitude catches up to them like a storm, shouting until his voice breaks for them to give my family back you filthy humans where is he don't lie to me you bastards I'll kill every single one of you –

To be honest, by this point he's gotten pretty annoying, and she's honestly relieved when he got his ass kicked into a cell (to be fair, it took ten soldiers and Guren's squad to subdue him) and she could leave him before he screamed her ears off.

Sure, he's pissed when she prances in front of his cell with a pair of pink fluffy earmuffs. Sure he mouths off like fifty-seven curse words which somehow all have to do with her excruciating death. That is pretty funny, actually. She almost feels like retorting a few clever lines back at him, but that would be like asking for him to runs his mouth and she isn't into self-condemnation, really.

But he breaks eventually. The Lieutenant Colonel shows him Yuu's grave (the empty coffin), his now deserted bedroom (cleared of any personal belongings, not that he had much to begin with), his beloved sword lying cold and untouched on the bed (his eyes focus on the antique gun on the table).

Predictably, he breaks down crying; predictably, the Lieutenant allows him a reprieve away from the scrutiny of the Moon Demon Company; a night to grieve for his lost family.

Predictably, he tries to kill himself.

In hindsight, he shouldn't have tried to kill himself. In addition to it being painful, he should have known it wouldn't have been that easy. He would've been better off just walking out the door and asking for a faceless passerby to take Yuu-chan's sword and stab him in the heart – not that it would work anyway. But then again, hindsight is always 20/20.

As it is right now, he has all the time in the world to brood in the hazy landscape that is inside Yuu-chan's sword.

Ashuramaru, they say, rebels whenever someone attempts to control him. Apparently Yuu-chan set too high a bar, and now they couldn't find anyone to replace him. Of course. No one can replace Yuu-chan. They can't reuse Yuu-chan's sword, so they left it here; and the moment Mika turned into a demon, his will overwhelmed the slumbering demon's and, for lack of a better word, kicked Ashuramaru out and put Mika in his place.

Well at least Ashuramaru, wherever he is right now, won't have to suffer these shackles anymore. Krul's efforts won't have gone wasted. It's a small comfort - especially now that Mika knows how painful and restrictive they are - but one nonetheless.  

iii. fairy tale

"Tell me something about yourself."

She says, standing not five feet away from him, with a completely straight face. 

Surely, a ridiculous request. She must be joking. 

"Hey, are you serious?" He says. "Don't you have better things to do than harass me?" 

"Anything would do. Your favorite color. Your deepest fears. What you find beautiful."

He shakes his head and rids himself of the image. 

How ridiculous. 

But those eyes are glimmering like they are about to break. Part of him, the bloodthirsty demon, wants to break them. The other part is genuinely curious. 

"Anything?" 

She nods. 

"I..." He hesitates. Realizes his weakness. "No. If you have nothing important to say, leave." 

She walks over instead and sits down, back to back with him.  

She is deathly cold. 

Well, it's not any of his business anyway. It's just a passing thought. 

"...My sister used to tell me fairy tales." 

What are you talking to me for? Go talk to someone who actually cares, he nearly says. But there is something in her quivering voice that makes him curious, so he keeps his mouth shut. 

"The one I liked most was The Little Red Riding Hood. Do you know that story? Um, I don't remember it anymore, but there was a prince riding on a white horse -" 

"There isn't." 

"There is." She insists. "Um, let me see, I think there was a little girl wearing a red riding hood, and she lived with her stepmother on a tower -" 

"Are you sure that's not Rapunzel?" 

"No, no, I'm sure. And then on her way to her grandmother's, she met a prince -"

"What kind of story has your sister been telling you -" 

"Ah, I remember! And then some time later she was kidnapped by a dragon -" 

"That's not -" He began, and gave up. "...Go on." Make this quick, he thinks.  

"Uh, she was kidnapped, and then, she was locked up on a tower waiting for the prince to rescue her. But, but a prince never came, and in the end she killed the dragon in his sleep, fought her way back to the castle and took the prince away." 

"...How does this story end, exactly?" 

"...They lived happily ever after?" 

"..." 

"Hey, don't look at me like that. That's the fairy tale my sister told me, so it had to be true. She told it to me every night until I was seven, so I can't forget it you know."

"Didn't you struggle to remember it earlier?"

"My memory was just hazy, that's all, see? I remember it now. There was a lot more, but I can't tell it as well as my sister, so I'll leave it at that for now." 

"Yes, please. Really, don't you have anything better than to harass me?" 

"But it's fun," she says so easily. "You're probably lonely anyway, so the great Shinoa decided to take time out of her busy schedule and chat with you for a bit, that's all. Don't you feel honored?" 

"Yes, I'm so honored I would die if I could," he bites back. "Off with you. Don't you have a schedule to keep?" 

That's her cue to leave, with a sing-song 'I'll be back tomorrow, so look forward to it!' He hopes she doesn't. Can't a demon wallow in his own misery anymore? 

She's gone. 

And that's that. 

He pretends not to feel the unnerve settling into his mind. 

This is the twenty-seventh day she's come to talk to Mika-san, to no avail.  

Guren tells her to give up. The demon Mika became, who now resides in the sword, is not a Black Demon type anyway. There is no way it can be as strong as when Yuu used it. Her scythe is so much better. 

"I want to use both." She announces.  

She thinks she sees a dangerous, pained, glint in his eyes. "Absolutely not." 

"I can control them." She pleads. "Shi-chan won't betray me. As long as I can convince Mika-san-" 

"I said, no. Leave. Now." He practically growls. For a second, she thought of backing down -  

The sword. Mika-san. Yuu-san. Shinoa gathers her remaining courage. 

"Why?" She says. "Why won't you let me? I know the stakes. I can handle it. Mika-san will come around eventually." 

"You don't know that. We can't risk you going insane too." He looks straight in her eyes and says, in a tone that clearly indicates the conversation is over. Shinoa hastily looks away. Nearly jumps to block him from heading out the door. 

"Can't you have a little faith in Mika-san? Or in me?" 

Even with these harsh words.

Even with this uncharacteristic insubordination. 

Her voice is level. 

Somehow, the anger she should feel is terribly distant. Even now, she is thinking about feeling. Thinking about how she should feel indignation, how she should show that in her voice. Maybe a hint of desperation to be more convincing. Guren is perceptive, so maybe she should be more aggressive, more vocal. 

Once again, she is reminded of it.

This is who Hiiragi Shinoa really is.

"What are you doing here?" He growls under his breath. 

He doesn't need to turn around to see. He already knows him - after all, the sickly sweet air of death and tragedy follows this man wherever he goes. All Ichinose Guren ever does is bring ruin to everything around him.

"Hey." The other man says conversationally. A little subdued, though. "We need to talk." 

"What do you think of Shinoa's idea?" Guren doesn't skirt around the subject. 

"What does it mean to you?" 

To be honest, Mika just wants to mess with the man a little. It's lonely; he's bored and maybe a little bit cruel.  

He certainly doesn't expect Guren to bow down in front of him. 

"It means everything to me. Please," and at this word his voice quivers. "Stop her. I cannot let her control both you and her scythe at the same time. 

I'll do anything." The man continues after a short pause. 

He doesn't know what to say. 

He doesn't understand. 

...Then, first he will have to understand.

"First, tell me why." 

Guren's eyes harden. "Not until you agree to stop her."

"If you don't, the next time she comes here I'll let her control me. And I'll go berserk in the battlefield. You don't want that, do you?" 

He won't. Of course he won't. Mika might be a lot of things, but he's not that cruel. But to deal with Guren, some bluffing is needed. 

And it works. Guren's hands curl into a fist and start shaking. The very thought horrifies him to his bones.  

"...Mahi- Her sister tried to do the same thing. She went insane and had to be killed before she could destroy the world. I'm merely trying to prevent that from happening again."

Truth. Truth. Lies- no, not lies, but half-truths. Clever.

There is another underlying motive. This is personal. 

Then again, Mika is not cruel. Guren discarded his pride in coming here; smashed it to pieces under his boots when he fell to his knees to beg a demon for help. He told as much of the truth as his shattered pride allowed him to. Mika will not disgrace him any further.

Even so.

"I can't."

The look in Guren's eyes is a little like Shinoa's. Fear, resignation, despair, emptiness. The despair humans feel when they see the end of the world. He's seen that a lot before he became a captive here.  

If this is what it takes to be human, Mika doubts he can do it. 

To begin with, he's forgotten human emotions a long time ago. He can't stand it if they come back now, rolling over him like waves in a storm. He'll die.

"But I give you my word. I will help her. I will not betray her. I will protect her to the best of my ability or die trying."

His words echoes.

As if this hazy world understands the gravity of what he just said.

The oath echoes; hangs over the air like an anvil binding him to this promise. 

v. steel resolution 

The air is deathly still. 

The buzzing of silence. 

The sound of his breathing. 

The sound of his annoying still-breathing heart.  

A passing thought. 

Why did he say such a thing?

The demon in him says, interest. She's vulnerable and he's itching for blood. Freedom, since he can use her guilt to manipulate her. Control; this girl is after all a coward who locks her feelings deep inside her heart to hold herself together.

It's because she's vulnerable that she needs to be protected.

It's because guilt wears her down that someone needs to watch over her.

It's because she's someone who has lived a life without emotions that she has to lock them away before she self-destructs.  

Not to be arrogant, but Mika knows he's been dealt a rather terrible hand in life. He doesn't know many kids who got thrown out of a speeding car, watched their family being killed right in front of them, were forcibly turned into a vampire for all their troubles, and slowly went insane because of their bloodthirst. 

...Really. Mika decides he should never have a try at the lottery for as long as he lives - and that's saying something. 

But even with such a past, he had a silver lining. For a while, he was happy; for a while, he could sit with his family and read them fairy tales to help them sleep. He remembers that much. 

And yet, someone like her didn't have such a thing.  

A sister who told her the same fairy tale, every night, over and over like a mantra.  

The child who didn't know better and clung on to that twisted story to this day.   

There is just something inherently twisted to it. The princess, gone insane because of loneliness and despair, steeled her resolve to gain happiness by dirtying her hands, committing one crime after another.  

That story, surely, did not have a happy ending.  

A tragedy masked as a fairy tale.  

What a joke.  

Now he understands. Why the human world is destined to destruction. 

Because, won't it be better that way?  

Look at this cruel, messed-up world, and what people had to do to survive. Look at how even children are not spared, are either experimented on or forced to fight. 

On second thought, maybe he was a little lucky. Even though he was an experiment, at least he escaped from that fate. At the very least, he was not a child soldier. He chose to fight. For family. For Yuu-chan. For his happiness.

Such a tiny choice, it seems, changes everything. And such a choice was a luxury to many people.

The gleeful demon in him whispers, a glaring weakness. Easy to control. Blood. Freedom. All in my grasp. The shred of sanity remaining is filled with hypocritical pity. 

For the children clinging onto family in this messed-up world.

For the family who lost someone, who will never be the same again.

And- for the girl who is about to break, but comes here every day to convince him to be friends, because she wants to keep the only memento of the person who saved her close to her heart.

Can they still be saved?

Yuu-chan would wish for them to be saved. Because Yuu-chan is kind. He talks big, he goes on and on about revenge, but in the end what he truly wants - wanted - is freedom and a family. Revenge as an ideal feels as hollow and laughable as a cruel joke. 

Deep down, Yuu-chan is kind, kinder than anyone. He would definitely want to save them. 

But Yuu-chan is gone. What he wants - wanted - doesn't matter anymore. None of it will reverse time and bring him back. 

Even if that life is worse than death.

Even if that miracle hinges on a selfish decision of a hypocrite. 

Even if because of this decision, the world will be destroyed.

vi. decision - consequence

"I'll do it." He doesn't wait for her to start the conversation. 

"Okay. 

Training starts at seven." She says. Doesn't ask questions. "We'll talk about the demon curse training later." 

He says nothing. 

He's made his decision. 

To serve. To use. To protect. To deceive. To save. To destroy. 

"Oh, and one more thing."

She says, just as her form fizzles out and she disappears from this world.

"Let's ------ the world together, Mika-san." 

"I did the right thing, didn't I? Yuu-chan..."

The name echoes in the hazy world incessantly, mercilessly. 

Condemning him for a crime he unknowingly committed. 

???. true self

Ashuramaru did not escape.

In the beginning, a demon cannot be released from the cursed weapon so easily. To become a demon, a vampire must be on the verge of death - so naturally, the weapon is their anchor to life. If it was so easy to leave, the vampires would have found a way to dispel the demon curse a long time ago.

No, he certainly did not leave.  

She simply had him killed. That's all. 

For Mika-san, who had been reduced to a demon, to survive, Ashuramaru had to go. It is regrettable, but it can't be helped.  

"He agreed." She says.

"I know." The Lieutenant Colonel says, resigned. 

He still hasn't realized, probably because she has avoided meeting his eyes the whole time.  

By the time he has realized, it probably will have been too late.

I hated it, you know. 

You were always so vibrant. You brighten up the lives of everyone around you. Naturally I was afraid. But for the first time in a long while, I felt warmth. I had a family. We felt needed. You kept us sane in this messed-up world. 

But then you were gone. Do you know what happened to us, now that you are gone? 

Kimizuki sounds all that, but he is the weakest among us all. Come to think of it, I haven't talked to him since. He's been working tirelessly, doing whatever dirty jobs Kureto commissions him to do. The rest of the time he clings to his sister's side like a ghost. Looks as pale and sickly as one, too. If - when she dies, he will have lost the only family he has left. I wonder how that will destroy him.

Mitsuba, she had a crush on you, you know? I suppose it doesn't matter now. After all, this is the second time she let a comrade die before her eyes. She had a hard enough time forgiving herself the first time. She couldn't do that again.

When we found her, overdosed on curse demon pills, her mind was already fried and her organs were ruptured beyond repair. From the look of it, she was in incredible pain.

I think, she cursed herself until the very end.

Guren? He's used to it, I guess. Not to be rude, but you are far from the most painful thing he's had to experience. He cried, of course. He locked himself away for days. But he has to live eventually. He is cursed to find a reason to live, until he finds hope and the cycle starts again.  

Yoichi was affected the most. To see two of his friends die in such gruesome manners...he simply - broke. His demon took over. 

I killed him. 

...What about me, huh? 

Now, why do you want to know about me? Don't you want to know about the person who you went so far to save? 

I hate him. I want him to feel the pain of everyone combined.  

Because of him. 

Because of him. 

You died.

We died.  

So I trapped him. I won't let him have an easy death - no, I will keep him with me, and he will live to see the end of the world with me. Because of him, I lost my family. This is merely compensation for the damage he's caused, however unknowingly.  

He looks at me with pity, do you know? Like I'm something to be saved. Like he's going to save my soul from eternal damnation like a valiant hero. I suppose he learned that annoying habit from you. 

Wanting to save others. 

Sacrificing yourselves for others' happiness without a thought to the mess you leave behind. 

Thinking of yourselves as the heroes.  

That kind of thinking will ruin you two some day. I suppose, in your case, you are already dead. It doesn't matter anymore, does it? 

I don't know anymore.

I don't want this anymore. 

I don't need a world where there is no one left for me. No one will tell me my cooking sucks again. No one will smile at me and welcome me home again. No one will support me like family should again.  

'Family'. 

What a joke.

I can't stand to look at it anymore.

I'll destroy this sham of a family that has only brought despair. The Hiiragis are no longer needed. Neither is this useless world.  

So, I will - what was it Kureto always said? That childhood dream of his. 

Ah, yes. I will - 

--- Kill the world, and save the world ----

∞. the end

"Let's destroy the world together, Mika-san."