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It is true that Usopp is, physically, not the strongest member of the Strawhat pirates.
But he definitely is a man of many talents. That’s a fact, not a tall tale:
Crafting a shitload of super weird types of ammo, slingshots, octopus shoes and grappling hooks, he is the type of crazy genius that seems a bit otherwordly. (Maybe that’s why, in many cases, he understands the enigma that is their captain.) Plus, he is pretty good with a paintbrush, which is why he is in charge of adorning stuff with the Strawhat logo more often than not.
Adding Cyborg Franky to the mix gives his inclination towards „crazy professor“ a huge boost. Suddenly there is someone to share his brain farts on giant cannons, flying stuff, spacy enhancements of the ship. Also, the cyborg is totally unapologetic about being a wacko. His giant forearms painted with big blue stars, he is clearly showing off instead of hiding.
It is during one of their shopping trips on a larger island when the sniper stumbles upon a small, time-worn tattoo machine in a 2nd hand shop. It's not like the conception is new to him. Tattoos are a quite a thing amongst pirates – Trafalgar Law has his fair share of black ink, Luffy’s brother Ace even sported a huge logo of the Whitebeard pirates on his back, and probably there’s more heavily inked pirates than those with pristine skin. Well, minus the scars.
„I wish the Doctor in Cocoyashi had one of those“ Nami comments when he brings home the device, which he finally bought on a whim and because it was rather cheap.
„Probably would have been quicker and sucking less than his hand poking when he covered up my old tattoo back then.“ She looks wistfully to her left shoulder, which is covered with a blueish ornament of a windmill and a tangerine.
„Ah, yes, you have a tattoo, too, Nami. Was it very painful to get it, then?“
Nami smirks. „Nah. Believe me, you’ve already had worse.“
Usopp nods slowly as he takes his new toy apart to clean it. A picture begins to form in his very imaginative mind, the brave warrior of the sea, tall und muscular with an impressive number of heroic tattoos on his sun-tanned skin. Foes would flinch, ladies would swoon.
„Usopp“ Nami inquires, „are you drooling? Why are you drooling?“
---
The sniper starts small, stealing a few mangos from the kitchen to engrave simple lines and arcs into their skin, learning the handling of the tattoo machine. But thanks to his steady hands, he quickly gets the hang of it and takes immense joy in the classic picture of a mermaid, skillfully inked into a large piece of bacon (it does not go to waste. Luffy eats it without asking questions).
„Suuuuper cool, Bro!“ Franky comments. „Never knew you could do that!“
„Neither did I!“ Usopp grins.
Some weeks later, Usopp turns up for breakfast with the legs of his overall rolled up.
Showing off a pair of proud sea-kings, teeth bared, in black ink on the slightly reddish skin of his legs.
Chopper almost faints when he hears that the sniper tattooed himself, down in the grubby workshop, without disinfectant and medical supervision.
„Usooooppp“ he squeaks, „this could become infected! It could scar!“
The sniper, usually the king of fateful premonition, is surprisingly easy. „Nah, Chopper. It’s a few days old and healing just fine.“
Chopper looks like he is torn between his duties as a doctor, and his nonstop admiring of Usopp’s coolness.
The rest of the crew ranges from starry-eyed adoration (Luffy: „Woooow, that’s sooo cool! I want one!“) to mild amusement (Robin: „My, my. Such vivid imagery of the deadly teeth!“) and melancholy (Brook: „When I had skin, I had the most striking tattoos. But now I am a skeleton! Yohoho!“). Zoro munches his rice without comment, even when Luffy excitedly announces that everyone can get a Strawhat logo tattoo now (Sanji: „Over my dead body, idiot captain!“).
----
After the literal cat is out of the bag, the crew one by one starts to visit Usopp in his workshop to ask about his newfound craft.
It does not come as a surprise that Nami asks for a memento of their time in Alabasta. Sticking to her principles, she brings her own drawing of oriental ornaments, not unlike the herbal dye body painting that faded after a week or so. Now, Usopp makes it permanent, and he is very proud of his neat work when Nami beams at him and waves her embellished arms like a dancer.
When Zoro visits Usopp’s workshop, he is seriously messed up, high on pain medication and booze after a drawn-out battle and the afterparty, and the sniper is not sure whether he is actually of sound mind. Yet, the prospect of denying him his wish is even scarier than just etching the somewhat cheesy tiger’s head, fanged muzzle pierced by three swords, into his meaty biceps. If the swordsman ever regrets his choice, he does not show it. And it suits him, somehow, even if the cook gives him shit about his yakuza style for weeks.
(Is Chopper pissed at Usopp for inking up a completely destroyed Zoro? You bet. )
Much to his dismay, it turns out that Luffy’s freakish immune system gets rid of the ink pigment after a month or two, effectively destroying any attempt to give him a lasting tattoo.
It pisses him off to no end, which absolutely makes sense from a guy who stabbed his own eye just to look more like a serious pirate.
It’s only after the disaster that is Whole Cake Island (that Usopp has to learn about from Nami) that the cook seeks out Usopp’s makeshift tattoo den. He has been adamant about keeping his light skin flawless, but the ordeals of these events apparently changed his mind.
„Usopp“ he mutters and its clear that this is not some whim but bears real emotional weight, „can you do a rose and a name?“
„A rose tattoo?“ The sniper echoes in surprise. He has done tigers, skulls, sharks on the guys, but did not expect something as whimsical as a flower on one of the future pirate king’s wingmen.
Sanji shrugs. „It’s a classic. At least up in the north“
As Usopp starts inking, the cook is vacantly staring ahead without any sign of discomfort.
„You know, they used him as a pawn. Zeff. Back at the Baratie. Threatened to kill him. It’s when I started to realize I might lose him sooner or later, making enemies as we do.“
Usopp hums but does not ask questions. He is used to lending his ear to everyone. After all, he has been cutting their hair for years before he even picked up a tattooing machine.
„This one's for the man that raised me.“
The rose has bold lines, filled in crimson, and the name says: „Old Geezer“.