Chapter Text
Kate Fuller hadn’t made it past her teens, let alone to the ripe old age of 26, by ignoring her instincts. They’d helped her survive a kidnapping, various supernatural attacks that had stolen her father and nearly destroyed her younger brother, and possession by a megalomaniacal hell goddess–all before she was 19.
So when alarm bells started ringing in her head in the middle of the heist she’d been planning for weeks, Kate paused to take stock, even knowing from experience that every second counted in a job. It’d been smooth sailing so far, just like they’d rehearsed, and now her partner, Max, was in her earpiece confirming she had the all-clear to drop down from the shopping mall’s ceiling into the tiny jewelry store’s back room.
Why, then, did she have the distinct impression that her night was about to go sideways?
“Kate,” Max hissed in her ear, clearly not for the first time. “Do you have them? What’s going on?”
“Them” being the diamonds she was supposed to have swiped–Kate checked her watch–two minutes ago. Shit. Hesitation wasn’t doing her any good, and she couldn’t see or hear a single logical reason to change course now.
Kate swiftly, silently, lifted the ceiling tile in front of her up and over, then swung down with practiced ease into the room.
Only to rise from a crouch to the unmistakable pressure of a gun pressed firmly to her temple. Simultaneously, and much too late, she saw from this vantage that the safe she was meant to crack was already ajar.
She’d interrupted another robbery. What were the fucking chances?
“Well, now, no one told me this was gonna be a party,” came a cocky, achingly familiar voice. “Sorry, sweetheart, but this one’s mine.”
Without thinking, Kate tried to turn toward him, but Seth, clearly yet to recognize her, stopped her with a phrase she knew all too well: “Be cool.”
“Seth,” she forced out through her suddenly dry throat. “It’s me.”
Silence. A sharp intake of breath.
Then: “Kate?”
The pressure on her temple disappeared as Seth lowered his gun and used his other hand to grip her upper arm, tugging her around to face him. She had a flash of déjà vu to him gently taping up her bleeding arm in a Matanzas tunnel, but she shook it off.
“Kate–what… What the fuck are you doing here?” Seth looked absolutely thunderstruck. She could relate.
“And where should I be?” she heard herself ask automatically, before she could help it, the years falling away as she drank in the sight of him. He looked good. Too good, with his dark hair now threaded with more silver, that perpetual five o’clock shadow, and new lines bracketing his eyes. Those damn brown eyes, as mesmerizing as ever.
Seth didn’t answer, apparently caught up in his own inventory of how she’d changed since the day she slipped away from Jed’s. From him.
Too bad they really didn’t have time for this.
Reminding herself she was here for a reason–or, technically, half a million of them–Kate forced herself to focus. “Seth,” she said as evenly as she could manage, “much as I’d love to stay and chat, I’ve got a job to finish and even a mall cop’s bound to catch on if we don’t get outta here soon, ’kay?”
Still seeming dazed, Seth slowly nodded before abruptly reversing course and shaking his head emphatically. “Yeah–no, we’re not done here, princess. I let you run away once—”
“Let me?” she scoffed.
Seth continued as if she hadn’t spoken. “But I’m not gonna do it again. You and me, we got unfinished business.”
They were standing nose to nose, a few inches give or take, eyes locked and chests rising and falling rapidly when the door to the room burst open.
Max, who must have heard the commotion as she finished emptying the store’s display cases, stood there, pistol raised. She surveyed the scene for a moment before striding in like a general and giving orders. “You,” she said, jerking her chin toward Kate, “Diamonds. Now.”
Then she turned her too-perceptive hazel eyes on Seth. “You,” she said. “Just stay right there, handsome.”
“Max,” Kate warned, “his brother must be right behind you. Don’t–”
Seth lifted his own gun again, aiming at Max. “And you are?” he asked coolly, all business again.
“Just wait a damn second,” Kate interrupted, “both of you, before someone gets their head blown off for no goddamn reason. She’s my partner. Max, I know him, it’s OK, he’s not gonna hurt me, but I can’t say the same for you.”
“No, she cannot,” Seth said with a smirk. Oh, Lord.
“I’ll be fine, Max,” she said. “Get out of here. Now.”
“Hell no,” came Max’s stubborn reply. “Not without you.”
“I’ll be right behind you,” Kate gritted out, aware of Seth’s eyes burning into the side of her face. He might still be an asshole, but she knew he’d appreciate Max’s loyalty at the very least. “The cops could be here anytime. I’ve got this. Trust me.”
“I won’t let anything happen to her,” Seth chose to pipe in again, weapon back at his side. Which was going to be fun to explain to Max later.
But at that, oddly enough, Max finally stood down, obviously still confused yet seemingly reassured by something she saw in Seth’s face, or hers, or both.
“Fine,” she relented. “I’ll meet you at the drop.” With a parting glare for Seth, she disappeared as quickly as she’d appeared.
“Alone again,” he mused.
But Kate was already moving, scooping up the black gym bag Seth must have dropped–tsk, tsk–at the foot of the safe when he’d caught onto her creeping around in the ceiling.
Seth scowled, yet didn’t even pretend to threaten her as she headed for the exit.
“Don’t do this,” he said, just like that day in Matanzas, and their past echoed through her again. “We need to talk.”
“It was good seeing you, Seth,” she said at the door. “And I’m sorry to leave it this way, I really am. I know I owe you…so much, for…for protecting me, and teaching me, and taking care of me after…everything. I’ll never forget that. But we’ve got nothing to talk about.”
“You don’t owe me shit, Kate. You got it all backward. Please. Will you–I just…”
She’d rarely seen Seth Gecko at a loss for words. It was disorienting. She hated it.
He started again. “There’s a job.”
“A job,” she repeated skeptically.
“Yeah, a job. It’s… Richie’s planning something he swears is gonna be ‘life changing.’” Seth laughed hollowly, and she got it: They’d probably both had enough change for ten lifetimes. Besides, from what she’d seen of Jed’s operations, the brothers were set, financially. This was no longer about the money for them; just the challenge. “Anyway,” he said, “we could use a few more helping hands. You and–and your partner…could join. If you want. If you’ll meet me.”
“Okay,” she breathed. “Okay.”
“Tomorrow night, 9 o’clock” he said. “The Paradise Motel, on–”
“I know it,” she said quickly, the unmistakable sound of sirens approaching underscoring their need to wrap this up. “I’ll be there.”
Seth blew out a breath and nodded. “Room 203.”
If he said anything else, she didn’t hear it. She was out the door and dashing through the dark of the store to make her escape before he could throw her off her game any further.
***
“And who was that ?” Max asked as soon as they’d passed the jewels to their fence for a healthy advance on their take and then ensured they weren’t being followed home.
Kate sighed, deciding it would be pointless to even try feigning ignorance. “That was Seth.” She kept her gaze fixed on the scenery outside the passenger side window.
“Seth… Wait, Seth Gecko?
“Yes.”
“Your ex-partner, Seth Gecko? The mysterious ex-partner you’ve been obsessed with since the day we met? That Seth Gecko?”
“I’m not obsessed with him, okay? But as for the rest…yes.”
“Whatever you say, babe.”
Kate rolled her eyes and waited for the other shoe to drop. It didn’t take long.
“You never mentioned him being a total smokeshow.”
“Is he? Hadn’t noticed.”
“Yeah, okay, so it only looked like you two wanted to bang right there on the spot and to hell with why you were there, huh?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, and we got the diamonds, didn’t we?”
“We did, and, actually, about that… You’re telling me the infamous Gecko brothers are gonna be fine with us snatching their score right out from under them?”
“It was our score, we put weeks of work into it. Like hell was I going to give that up. But.”
“Right. How did I know there was gonna be a ‘but’?”
“I did, uh, have to agree to meet him. Tomorrow night.” At her partner’s raised eyebrows, she hurried to clarify. “About a job. A big one, something he and Richie are planning. They need a bigger crew.”
“I’ll bet that’s not all he wants to discuss. Kate. C’mon. That man looked like he was dying of thirst and you’re a Big Gulp.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about, all right. The whole reason I left back then was because he…because I…”
Max obviously had no interest in rescuing her from this conversation, at least. “Yes?”
“He was just surprised, that’s all. We haven’t seen each other in, God, seven years. He’s probably been thinking of me as a little girl this whole time,” she finished miserably.
“Look, you tell yourself whatever you want, it ain’t my business, but I know what I saw. That man does not see you as a kid.”
Oh, good. Like she wasn’t going to be fixated on that possibility for the next 24 hours straight.
***
Kate couldn’t fathom why she’d be so nervous to knock on Seth’s door when they’d shared dozens of lookalike motel rooms during what Richie had once so eloquently dubbed their “Mexican honeymoon.” Those days felt like a lifetime ago and last week, all at once.
But, no, okay, she was lying to herself. She knew she was lying to herself. Kate was nervous to come face to face with everything she wanted but could never have. It was true seven years ago, and it was apparently still true today. Denying it to herself would just undo all the work she’d done with her therapist–her sweet, perfectly normal therapist, who thought Kate worked in hospitality–to process and heal from the trauma she’d survived.
Before she could pull herself together enough to knock, the door swung open and Seth filled her vision, looking the way she’d imagined more often than she wanted to admit, flame tattoos peeking out from a white tank over dark slacks, hair mussed like he’d just woken up, expression so much softer than she deserved. Without a word, he took a step back into the room to let her in, and she followed.
The door had barely clicked shut behind her when Seth closed the distance between them and pulled her into his arms. She froze in surprise for a moment, then returned the hug, circling her own arms around his waist, slowly melting further into him.
This was new.
He didn’t pull away immediately, so Kate didn’t either. Before she left Jed’s, it had seemed like Seth always needed an excuse to touch her, at least during their waking hours. He was just patching up a wound, or getting her attention. Comforting her after a nightmare.
She was almost afraid of how much she liked it, being close to him like this for no reason at all. Even if the rational part of her brain was screaming that she was reading way too much into it. Again.
“I thought you were out,” he said quietly into her hair. “All this time, I–... Richie said you’d gone to Freddie’s, that you were safe, that you were going back to school–”
“I did,” she said, finally leaning back to look him in the eye, unable to handle the hurt in his voice. His arms still held her loosely. “Seth, I did.”
“Then why–”
“It turned out that life just wasn’t for me, not anymore. I mean, I went back, got my GED, and tried to make it through a few college classes, but… it all felt empty. Meaningless.”
Seth scowled and dropped his hands to his sides. “Yeah, why’s that?”
“Oh, I don’t know, maybe because I was surrounded by people who knew absolutely nothing about culebras or Xibalban queens? Who only cared about getting wasted at parties and where they were spending Christmas vacation? It felt like we were from different planets.”
“You just needed more time to adjust. You still could, Kate.” He paced the strip of carpet between the room’s double beds, running a hand through his rumpled hair, while Kate watched. She was too wired to sit, so she just braced a hand on the back of a dinette chair. “There’s a whole world out there, don’t you get it? You deserve better than this.”
“No, you need to get it: I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be, Seth. I’m who I’m supposed to be. I know it’s not what you wanted for me, and I know you still feel guilty–”
“I don’t feel guilty, princess, I am guilty. There’s a difference.” He stopped pacing and looked at her with an expression so open and earnest she could hardly bear it. “But if this is how you really felt, why didn’t you come back to Jed’s? You should know by now you always have a place with me and Richie.”
That was the question, wasn’t it? The one she’d most dreaded him asking. For better or worse, she and Seth had always been honest with each other, often painfully so. Except when it came to this.
Off her hesitation, he asked, “Did I…do something? Is that why you left?”
“Seth, God, no. Whatever you’re thinking right now, just stop.”
“What am I supposed to think, huh? You slip out in the middle of the day, leave a note that literally just says ‘I’m sorry,’ and then, come to find out, you didn’t want out of this life–you just wanted out of mine?”
“That’s not fair. I didn’t know how to tell you I’d failed at the normal life you were so convinced I needed. In Matanzas, you wouldn’t let it go. I believe your exact words were: ‘You shouldn’t even be here. You should be at prom, dancing with some Jesus freak.’”
Seth scrunched his face at her impression but didn’t interrupt.
“Being your partner, being one of Los Tres Geckos with you and Richie…that’s the happiest I ever was, for a while.”
“Until what?”
“Until…” She blew out a breath. “I was a 19-year-old kid with a crush, can we leave it at that?”
He suddenly straightened up from where he’d been leaning against the dresser. “No. We can’t. What’s that even supposed to mean, huh?”
“I thought I was here to talk about a job.”
“Oh, fuck that, Kate, don’t try to bullshit your way out of this. You know this–” he waved a hand between them, “whatever this is, is about way more than whatever Richie’s cooking up. Anyway, how’m I supposed to trust you again, work with you again, when you won’t tell me what the fuck went wrong last time? I’m not a mind reader here.”
Kate closed her eyes, already cringing internally at what she was about to confess. Of all the people in the world, why did it have to be Seth freaking Gecko who got to her this way, even after years apart? Her mama and daddy wouldn’t even recognize her as the girl they’d raised; good thing she’d made her peace with that too.
She sensed Seth moving closer, and then his warm hands were gently cupping her face, exactly like she’d dreamed more than once since waking up in that little church in Mexico, his blood coursing through her veins.
“Hey,” he said. “Hey, look at me.” Her eyes fluttered open at the command, because of course they did. Damn him.
“Whatever you wanna say to me, you can.”
Why did she suddenly feel like crying, or sinking into the floor, or both? Get it together, Fuller, Jesus.
“You’re an idiot,” she said fondly, voice wobbling only a little.
And then, for the first time that night, his lips quirked into that half smile she adored. “Tell me something I don’t know.”
Oh, God, it was official: She was as hopeless as ever when it came to him.
“How about this?” Kate took a deep, fortifying breath and stepped back, out of reach. “I was a 19-year-old with a crush on you, Seth, okay? You.”
He crossed his arms and just looked at her. Now she was the one wishing to be a mind reader.
“…And…and I knew you didn’t want me the way I–the way I wanted you ,” she said in a rush, trying to salvage as much dignity as possible, “and probably never would, which was fine, you still saw me as a little girl, I got it. But I couldn’t stay. I was afraid… I don't know, afraid you’d meet someone and I’d have to watch you two together, and that would’ve killed me,” she finished breathlessly.
Incredulous was the only word for his expression, but his only response was: “You about done, honey?”
She nodded, dying inside at what she’d just said. Buzzing at the endearment. He probably meant nothing by it—she’d certainly heard him sweet-talk enough random women—but Kate couldn’t deny the effect it had on her. She was right back in it, these old feelings so close to the surface that she knew they’d never actually gone anywhere.
“So that’s it. That’s why you left? Why you stayed away for seven years?”
“Yeah. I guess. Yeah.”
“Now who’s the idiot?” he muttered, even while he was softening the impact of the words by reaching for her again, hands going to her shoulders and forehead tipping to rest against hers, eyes closed. She closed her eyes too, reaching up to wrap her hands around his wrists, needing another anchor as they just…existed together again.
“Kate, you think you were the only one…confused about this–this thing between us?” Was his voice suddenly raspy, or was that just wishful thinking? Kate’s brain had gone too fuzzy to form coherent thoughts, but that was fine, because Seth didn’t seem to expect an answer.
“After what we went through, I don’t know, it was probably inevitable,” he said. “Like–like trauma bonding, or some shit.” That got her attention, and she’d swear her heart skipped a beat. Could he be saying what she thought he was saying? He’d felt something too? Wondered what it meant?
“But, princess,” he continued, and Kate’s hope dimmed. “Trust me: You’d have gotten over it soon enough. Those feelings…they wouldn’t have lasted, all right? You’re smart, and strong, and good. Me, I’m just some ex-con who kidnapped you and ruined your life.”
Her heart cracked at hearing him describe himself that way, even after all these years. “Seth…”
How could she possibly express all the thoughts rioting through her brain at hearing him talk like that? Like the fact that she’d spent hours and hours in therapy working through her past, the bad and the good, and come to terms with how she’d genuinely loved him once, and probably always would, and to hell with what the world thought? That she hadn’t needed to forget the hurt he’d caused her to forgive him for it? That she’d learned two seemingly opposing ideas could be true at once–he’d greatly harmed her family by taking them hostage that day, and she couldn’t regret meeting him. That she sometimes tried to pinpoint which choice, exactly, had irrevocably altered her fate–Seth walking out in front of the RV and nearly getting himself run over, her randomly pulling into the Dew Drop Inn that day, Daddy buying the damn RV in the first place, or even Mama taking too many pills one night–and she couldn’t say for sure? That she’d started to wonder if maybe this life had always been God’s plan for her?
Kate settled for the simplest truth: “I forgave you a long time ago for how we met, Seth, and I really hope one day you can forgive yourself. But are you–”
She cut herself off at the sound of a keycard beeping and door handle turning, followed shortly by Richie strolling into the room, to-go cup of what she’d bet was horchata in hand.
“Hey, Katie-cakes,” he said when he spotted her, looking for all the world like he’d expected to find her in his room. Which made no sense whatsoever, but…it was Richie.
“Hey, Richie.”
“He confess his undying love yet, or what?”
“Shut up, Richard,” Seth said automatically, seemingly unfazed, while Kate rolled her eyes, trying to pretend she wasn’t a little stung that Richie would joke like that at her expense. Had she really been that obvious in pining for Seth back then? God.
Suddenly Seth swiveled his head to glance suspiciously between them. “Wait—why am I getting the distinct impression this is not a reunion years in the making?”
“Yeah, no, Kate knows I check up on her.”
“You what.”
“It’s no big deal, brother, I just drop in from time to time to make sure she’s still living her best, culebra-free life.”
“Un-fucking-believable. So you knew this whole time she was out there freelancing and never thought to mention it?”
“Well, you never asked. And given how fucked up you were after she left—”
“Richard, shut the hell up,” Seth interrupted sharply. Kate, on the other hand, fervently wished he’d keep talking. Richie, in his sporadic visits over the years, had never mentioned anything about Seth being upset that she left. Of course, he hadn’t volunteered much about his brother at all, and she’d done her best to quash her curiosity. Now she wondered what, exactly, she’d missed.
On the other hand, she could tell that Seth had hit his limit on vulnerability for the evening, and pushing him past it wouldn’t do anyone any good. Hadn’t she learned that one the hard way?
“Hate to interrupt,” she said, meaning it more than they could know, “but I’ve gotta get back before Max sends a search party. Call me, Seth, if you were serious about needing a bigger crew for your next score, okay? I’m interested.”
“Oh, it’s real,” Richie promised, “and we could use you and Max both. He’ll call you. Soon.”
Kate watched with amusement as Seth glared at his brother before facing her with a much softer expression. It was a little disorienting, honestly. Especially since she was starting to suspect that his feelings for her may have always been more complicated than she’d understood or given him credit for at 19.
“I’ll call you,” he affirmed. “Since apparently Richard knows exactly how to reach you.”
“In my defense,” she said, hoping to lighten the mood, “he’s tough to shake.”
“Don’t I know it,” he said ruefully.
“Hey, I’m right here,” Richie complained.
And with that, Kate had hope they’d eventually be okay, the three of them. Los Tres Geckos, as the press had once dubbed them, reunited for one final show.
“Goodnight, boys,” she tossed over her shoulder, already halfway to the door.
Seth’s eyes found hers one more time as the door closed between them, a slight smile on his face.
Yeah, they might just be okay.
***
He didn’t wait long to call. At all. She was still sitting in her car, having just found a parking spot near the two-bedroom apartment in downtown Phoenix she split with Max, when her phone lit up with a call from an unknown number. Normally, she’d ignore it, assuming it was spam, but…
“Hello?”
“It’s me.”
“Me who,” she said, trying and failing to contain the smile spreading across her face.
“Your least favorite Gecko,” Seth said dryly, and oh, boy, she wasn’t going to hear the end of that anytime soon, was she?
“Listen,” he said seriously before she could formulate a witty reply. “I’m sorry I didn’t fill you in on the details like I promised, but the job…it’s legit. If you’ll give me another chance, Richie and I will walk you and…and Max through it.”
“When?”
“Tomorrow? We’re still working through basic logistics and could use your knack for pointing out every possible weakness in our plans.”
Kate knew he couldn’t say much more than that over the phone. In any case, he didn’t need to. She was in, like they both knew she would be.
“Let me check my schedule,” she said, just to be a pain in the ass.
A huff, then: “Right. See you anytime after sundown, princess.”
“See you,” she echoed, though he’d already hung up.
***
Max had pressed for every possible detail about the Gecko brothers she could squeeze from Kate before agreeing to join the meeting. Not that she blamed her. While Kate’s therapist had gotten a highly sanitized version of past events for simplicity’s sake, she wouldn’t have felt right roping Max into the Geckos’ orbit without finally being upfront about, well, everything.
Watching Max’s expressions flick from outraged to horrified to sympathetic to amused to furious to devastated, then back again, was highly validating. Kate’s love for her best friend only grew when, rather than run screaming into the night or question her sanity, Max listened intently, simply sucking in a breath and placing her hand on Kate’s forearm when they reached her death and subsequent possession by Amaru. By tacit agreement, neither woman acknowledged the way Kate’s teeth chattered as she skimmed over those dark months when she’d had no control of her own body. Some things still didn’t bear thinking about.
Both of them were wrung out by the time Kate had answered all of Max’s questions, and they slept that night sprawled out on their living room floor through most of the following day, surrounded by half-empty pizza boxes and liquor bottles.
Now, as they sped back to the Paradise Motel the following evening, Kate could feel Max’s curiosity ramping back up. She flicked a glance toward the passenger seat to see her friend twisting strands of her chin-length brown hair around a finger. “What?”
“What, what?” the younger woman sassed.
“You’re practically vibrating in your seat. Tell me now if you’re having second thoughts.”
“Are you kidding? I am so in. Just wired. Can I help it if your life is so much more interesting than mine? What’s my poor-little-rich-girl-ignored-by-her-parents sob story compared to all…this?”
“Yeah, well, let’s just hope you still feel that way in a few hours.”
***
Even for the infamous Gecko brothers, the gig was ambitious.
As Richie finished narrating the broad-strokes outline of his plan, Kate cut her eyes incredulously toward Seth, who met and held her gaze with a little smirk from his position across the dinette table beside Richie. Told you, he mouthed, and then winked at her. Kate lifted a finger in response.
“Oh, I’m sorry, am I interrupting something?” Richie asked, looking pointedly between her and Seth like he’d just caught them passing notes in third period.
Max, the traitor, didn’t even try to hide her wide grin, confirming Kate’s hunch that she didn’t need to worry about her friend fitting in with the Geckos at all. Her tense posture during Kate’s introductions had gradually relaxed as the four of them got down to business; nothing like a good score to bring a band of thieves together. And if it entertained Max to see the three of them falling back into their old ways, the ones she’d only just heard about, then who was Kate to deny her? Especially if it helped erase any lingering resentment toward Seth after their less-than-ideal first meeting.
“Actually, Richie,” she said sweetly, “I was just thinking Danny Ocean’s got nothing on you.”
“Yeah?” Richie said suspiciously, but game as ever to talk movies. “Which one, Sinatra or Clooney?”
“Either one. Both.”
Slightly mollified, he went back to what he was saying. It was a good thing Max seemed to be giving him her undivided attention, because Kate’s own attention span was shot.
No one had stated the obvious yet, but they were looking at days more of intense prep, not to mention they were about 400 miles from their target.
Was she ready to spend that much time with Seth in close quarters? Did she have the emotional armor, not to mention the willpower?
Kate had serious doubts.
The dangerous distraction himself lifted his eyebrows and subtly jerked his head toward the door, a question in his eyes.
Yeah, she could use some air, she decided, and nodded.
“Kate needs a break,” Seth suddenly announced to the room, interrupting Richie again and eliciting a startled reaction from Max.
“Here we go again,” Richie said with a dramatic sigh, though he didn’t actually seem too annoyed. For Max’s benefit, he elaborated: “They do this. Or, used to do this. Have whole-ass conversations without saying a word. Make a person feel like a third wheel.”
Seth pointedly ignored his younger brother, propelling her out the door with a light hand to her lower back that she was sure did not escape anyone’s notice now.
“You good?” Max asked as they reached the door.
“I’m good,” she said. “Just getting some air.”
“Guess we’ll just stay here, doing all the work” was Richie’s parting complaint. It almost sounded…fond? He must’ve really missed her.
“He missed you,” Seth confirmed as they stepped out of the room into the warm Arizona evening. With no patio chairs to choose from on the second-floor walkway, they simply eased down to the cement, their backs to the wall beneath the room’s window and AC unit
“I missed him too.” Missed you both, she wanted to add. Hoped it went without saying. “But I thought you guys were still based out of Jed’s. Why on earth were you pulling a job in Arizona? And now a Vegas casino?"
“Wish I could tell you I had some sixth sense you’d be there that night, but, uh, I had no clue. Things were getting a little hot in Texas, and there’re only so many strings even the Peacekeeper can pull. We needed to skip town for a bit. A vacation, according to Richie. Vegas sounded as good a place to go as any, and on the way, Arizona just…happened. Apparently great minds think alike.”
“Apparently.”
“What about you?”
“Me?”
“Arizona? Max? What’s the story there?”
“Honestly, there’s not much to tell. Had some vague idea of getting to the Pacific—San Diego, maybe, my mom always talked about taking Scott and me there. But I ran out of cash along the way—”
Kate lifted a hand to forestall Seth’s outrage even as he drew in a sharp breath.
“Can we skip the part where you tell me I should’ve called? My brother already beat you to it, for one thing, and I needed to prove to myself that I could make it on my own, okay?”
He raised both hands in surrender.
“And, well, maybe going back to school wasn’t the answer, but you were right, in a way: I still had some growing up to do. At the time, I just knew I didn’t want to be the little girl you felt you always had to protect, even after Amaru. So I stayed. I worked some odd jobs for quick cash, planning to hit the road again as soon as I could. Then Max tried to steal my car…”
Seth huffed a laugh at that
“This may sound crazy, but it felt like a sign. Like it was okay to miss this life. To choose it for myself. Max and I…we became friends, started pulling small jobs together… It was exhilarating. Everything just…clicked. I didn’t look back.”
She expected more protests, but he surprised her. “I get it. Hell, I even respect it. You deserved the space to figure out who you were after all the shit you went through.”
“Thanks.”
“But, sweetheart, for the record, I always knew you could take care of yourself. You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met—you proved that a hundred times over with Amaru. The wanting to protect you thing… That was just…fear, okay. My fear.”
“Fear of…?”
“Gonna make me say it?”
“Yep.”
“Fear of losing you, all right. Again. For good.”
Kate slid her right hand to cover the fist Seth had braced on his knee. At her light touch, he relaxed and let Kate’s fingers interlock with his. Did they hold hands now? Was this a thing they did? Kate had moved out of pure instinct, but Seth…Seth hadn’t pulled away. In fact, now he was bringing his other hand to rest atop hers…
“I’m sorry for the way I left,” she said quietly. What she couldn’t quite admit yet was that it was either take off without a word–or stay forever. One hint in those deep, dark eyes that he wanted her to stay and she wouldn’t have had the strength to go. She settled for saying: “It’s what I needed, and I can’t regret going, but…I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“Ah, hell, Kate, I never thought you did. And if anyone’s sorry, it’s me, all right? Should’ve said it years ago. Started to believe I’d missed my chance, so…” He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry . Really fucking sorry. For forcing you and Scott and your dad to cross the border with us that day. For all the pain it led to. Of all the messed up things I’ve done in my life, that’s the one I’d take back, if I could.”
“Thank you, Seth. That means a lot. But you have got to stop beating yourself up now. You made a mistake, no question. You’ve also saved my life more times than I can count, starting that same day. You were a shitty kidnapper, if I’m being honest.”
Seth squeezed her hand. “No argument there.”
“And afterward…I chose to go with you. It was my choice, just like it’s my choice to be here with you now.”
They sat in companionable silence for a few minutes until Kate couldn’t help but joke, “So, I guess Richie wasn’t the only one who missed me, huh?”
He slung an arm around her shoulders. “Yeah, well, don’t let it go to your head.”
She nestled into the crook of his arm, letting her head fall heavily back on his chest. “Too late.” He leaned over to rest his cheek lightly on the top of her head, and somehow she knew he was smiling.
When was the last time she’d been this comfortable? Couldn’t they just stay this way forever?
But after a while longer, Seth let out a gusty sigh and pushed to his feet. “We should get back inside,” he said, offering her a hand up, which she accepted. “Order Chinese or something.”
“Yeah. I could go for some egg rolls.”