Chapter Text
oooOOOoooOOOooo Chapter 1
The morning after Harry saved Ginny from Tom Riddle, the nascent spirit of Lord Voldemort, was a rough one. Harry might have been saved from death by the Fawke’s the phoenix’s tears but he wasn’t saved from the aches and pains of having his body riddled with basilisk venom. The talk he had with Dumbledore about his adventures in the Chamber of Secrets had left his mind aching as much as the venom had left his body aching. Was Harry really like Voldemort? Or was Professor Dumbledore correct in saying Harry’s choices defined him as good, even if many of his characteristics matched those of the evil Dark Lord? Harry still wasn’t sure.
Ron had been allowed to return to the dorm, while Ginny had been taken to the infirmary by her fretful family. That’s how the twins found out the entire, somewhat overblown story. The dynamic duo decided to pay Harry a little visit to show their appreciation. It was a little after 2am when Harry was awoken by the sound of someone, or rather someones, calling his name.
“Harry.”
“Oh, Harrykins.”
“Harry, the hallowed savior of us all.”
“Harry, Harry, quite contrary.” The sound of the sing-song voice started to rouse Harry from his slumber. He rolled over, away from the annoying sound.
“HARRY!” The two voices whisper-yelled together. Harry woke with a start and sat up sharply. He tried to see who was looming over him but could only see two dark blurs in the barely lit hospital ward and without his glasses.
“Who is it?” Harry said, searching for his wand under his pillow, where he usually kept it.
“Looking for this?” One voice said, holding up what might have been his wand.
“Or these?” Said the other voice, holding up something oddly shaped and spindly.
“Ugh!” Harry growled, grabbing for both items and missing, falling from his bed in the process. The two beings jumped back to avoid becoming collateral damage to his unwieldy fall. They promptly started laughing at his predicament. That’s when Harry recognized them.
“Fred! George! Is that you?” Harry didn’t know why he’d bothered to ask. He knew it was them.
“Got it in one, Harrykins,” Fred, or maybe George, said.
“I reckon you’ll be needing these,” said the other twin, handing Harry his glasses. Harry shoved them on his face and blinked blearily at the two.
“What are you guys doing here? It’s the middle of the night!” Harry said, pointing out the obvious.
“We’ve come to thank you, oh, savior-of-us-all … or at least savior-of-Ginny,” said the grinning twin.
“That’s right. We wanted to hear the sordid tale from the horse’s mouth, and gift you with a precious present in return,” the other twin said, ending with a mocking bow.
“And you couldn’t’ve waited until morning?” Harry groused.
“We could.”
“But we never would.”
“We’ll be much too busy tomorrow.”
“We’ve a grand prank planned for the leaving feast.”
“Then, we’ll be on the train and much too busy for little second years, you see.”
“Ergo, now is the time, Harrykins, my dear boy.” The final twin finished the confusing back and forth conversation with another flourishing bow.
“Have you two been taking lessons on being a pompous git from Lockhart, or something?” Harry questioned.
The twins laughed again. “Not likely.”
“Especially not after the git was ready to leave our poor Ginny to rot.”
“Not that such a thing would happen with our little boy-wonder on the case!”
“Seriously...”
“If that’s possible …”
“Tell us what happened.”
Harry rolled his eyes but started the sordid tale from the moment Harry and Ron went to get Lockhart to the moment Lucius Malfoy ended up tale over tits in the hallway.
The twins were laughing so hard by the end of the sorry story that Harry was certain Madam Pomfrey would come bursting in at any moment.
“Quiet down, guys. You don’t want to get caught, do you?” Harry hissed at the pair of red heads.
They didn’t answer but they did cover their mouths and quiet their laughs down to snickers.
“So not only did you defeat a mythic monster,” said twin one.
“You also stole yourself a house-elf. Well done,” said twin two.
“I did not,” Harry nearly shouted. “I just set Dobby free. He isn’t mine.”
The twins looked at each other then shook their heads at Harry with mock pity.
“Silly little second year.”
“House elves can’t be freed.”
“At least not without killing the sorry little things.”
“Nope, you got yourself a new friend, itty little Harrykins.”
Surely not, Harry thought to himself. “Dobby said he was free,” Harry said stubbornly.
“Try it,” George said. Or maybe it was Fred.
“Call him.” Said Fred. Or maybe it was George.
“If he answers, you can ask him yourself.”
“Though if he answers, that’s pretty telling all in itself.”
Harry gave the twins a dirty look but decided it couldn’t hurt to try. If Harry suddenly owned another being, he thought he should know.
“Dobby,” Harry whispered into the darkened room. Barely a second passed before Harry’s summons was answered with a quiet pop.
“Yes, Master Harry Potter, sir? How can Dobby be helpings you?” the little elf answered.
Harry stared at the little elf in astonishment.
“See, we told you,” one twin said, a little smugly.
“Welcome to the wonderful world of house elf ownership,” the other twin said with a flourish.
“Dobby, tell these two dunderheads that I don’t own you,” Harry pleaded.
Dobby slowly shook his head. “But you do be owning Dobby, Master Harry Potter, sir,” Dobby answered, pulling slightly at his ears in anxiety.
Harry gasped. He was flabbergasted. Dobby looked ready to cry.
“Don’t yous be wanting Dobby?”
“No! I mean, yes! Just, I thought you were free now, Dobby? Do you want to be free?” Harry asked, trying not to set the little elf off on any head banging adventures.
“Yes! Dobby wants to be free from bad masters and Dobby is being. Dobby does nots want to be free from Master Harry Potter, sir. Please don’t give Dobby clothes!” The elf promptly burst into loud tears, exactly what Harry had been trying to avoid.
“Shhhh!” Harry said a little frantically. “Please! Stop crying! I want you, okay! Just be quiet!”
Dobby started sniffling but quieted his wails. “You want Dobby?” the elf asked, with still watering eyes.
“Yes, just, how did this happen?” Harry asked, a little exasperated.
“Yous be helping set Dobby free so Dobby becomes your elf, Master Harry Potter, sir. Unless yous don’t want me.”
“I want you!” Harry said, trying to cut off any more theatrics.
“Elves will die if they don’t have a master to draw magical energy from,” the twin closest to Harry said.
“That’s being right,” Dobby said, nodding his head and blowing his nose on his disgusting pillowcase.
Harry sat quietly for a minute. He couldn’t set Dobby free if he would die. He also couldn’t give Dobby to someone else when he couldn’t know for sure the little elf would be safe and happy.
“I don’t really know what work I can give you but I’ll think on it. Is that okay, Dobby?” Harry asked tentatively.
“Yes, Master Harry Potter, sir! Just be calling Dobby when you need him!”
“He’ll probably need you the day after tomorrow, Dobby,” one of the twins said.
“If our plan works,” the other twin finished.
“Yay!” Dobby said and popped away.
Harry looked perplexed and wary. “What plan?” he asked.
“Our gift to you, of course, Harrykins,” the closest twin said with a grin.
“We owe you for saving our sister.”
“All of the Weasleys owe you.”
“And we pay our debts.”
Harry’s head was spinning from the double talk but he was game to find out what the twins were up to. It had to be good.
“You’re not planning to prank my cousin again, are you?” Harry asked suspiciously. He was going to pay for that little bit of fun already, he just knew it. “My uncle isn’t going to be too happy with me, as it is.”
“No. We never repeat a prank.”
“It’s not how good pranking is done.”
“Ingenuity is the name of the game, Harrykins.”
“And if our plan works, you won’t be seeing your so-called family again.”
Harry sat up and paid attention at that. He’d love to never see the Dursleys again.
“How do you reckon? Dumbledore said I can’t stay here. I can probably come to your place for a visit again sometime but that won’t work for the whole summer.”
“No can do this summer, Harry.”
“We’re spending the summer in Egypt with Bill.”
“He came down as soon as he heard about Ginny.”
“He wants us to come stay with him, Loki bless him.”
“Dad won the sweeps, so we’ve got the funds for it and everything.”
“We’re leaving in three weeks and won’t be back until a week before classes start.”
Harry was supremely disappointed to hear it. The Weasleys were his only lifeline to the magical world. He slumped back on his bed.
“Don’t look so down and out, Harrykins.”
“We have a plan, remember?”
Harry perked back up, but only a little. He didn’t see how the twins could have a plan to keep him from his relatives, when even Dumbledore said he had to go.
“Bill’s going to help!” They said together with a flourish. Harry just blinked.
“Er, how is Bill going to help?” Harry asked.
“Bill’s going to meet you at the muggles’ and take you somewhere special. Don’t ask us where; we want it to be a surprise.”
“He’s going to stop by your relatives and check the place out, too.”
“We told him how to find the place.”
“He’s going to look for wards or anything that might tell old Dumbles if you don’t come back.”
“We’re guessing he can’t tell if you leave, though, or he would have known you came to the Burrow last summer.”
“Since he didn’t show up to scold you or us, we’re assuming he didn’t know.”
Harry thought for a few moments and then agreed.
“Yeah. I think you’re right. He must not have known I was gone. He never mentioned it. He told me I had to go back again this summer but that’s it.”
“That’s what we reckoned, too. Get some sleep, Harrykins.”
“Tomorrow’s going to be a busy day.”
“And the day after, you’ll get our gift.”
“Thank you guys. I would give anything to keep from going back to the Dursleys,” Harry said gratefully.
The twins looked at one another. They turned back to Harry with matching grins.
“Anything, Harrykins?”
Harry looked at them with trepidation. “Almost anything.” You never could tell what the twins would come up with.
“How would you like to get in on the ground level…”
“Bottom basement level …”
“Of a wonderful investment.”
“For the low price of 500 galleons,...”
“You could own a small …”
“Very small ….”
“Share in an up and coming business.”
“It will be very successful.”
“Stupendously successful.”
“Without rival.”
“In a league of its own.”
“A joke shop.”
“Owned by yours truly.”
Harry had to shake his head to end the dizziness caused by the twinspeak.
“Ummm, you guys are going to start a joke shop?” Harry asked.
“Yes, indeed, Harry our boy.”
“The best joke shop you have ever seen.”
“That trick we pulled on your cousin was a Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes original.”
“One of the first of our own and the best so far.”
Harry thought for a moment then agreed. “I’m in, on one condition.”
The twins grinned evilly. “Muwhahahaha.”
“I think what my brother meant to say was, on what condition?”
“You never use any of your products on me.”
The twins looked at one another then agreed.
“You have a deal, Harrykins. Shake on it?”
“Don’t you need a contract for a business deal?” Harry asked, skeptically.
“Right-o, our boy wonder. We certainly do. We’ll have Bill draw one up and bring it to you. Sound fair?”
“Sounds good,” Harry agreed, trying to shake one of the twins’ hands only to have both his hands shaken at the same time. Then the twins crossed his arms and shook the other one, too. Harry laughed and the twins grinned.
“Ta ta for now!” The twins said together and then they were off. Harry barely slept a wink for the rest of the night. His mind was too full of the possibilities.