Work Text:
Rich Purnell Manoeuvre. It’s a course manoeuvre for the Hermes. That is what Vogel explained to her once he overlooked the message snuck to him. A move which would save Mark and bring him back on board the Hermes. A move she would be more than happy to risk her career and her life over. Just to be with him again. But doing this would go against NASA. So, the decision isn’t with her. It’s with her crew.
Vogel left her alone once he finished explaining the manoeuvre to her. Giving her time to process everything he said. They could rescue Mark. They could save him from Mars. She could see him again.
Losing him on Mars was the worst thing she had ever experienced. One moment he was behind her shouting out ideas on how to stop the MAV from tipping and then he screamed and disappeared into the storm. At first, it hadn’t even sunk in what had happened. It was all so fast. But Beth’s screaming and hysterical voice snapped her back to reality.
Mark was hit...
Mark was gone...
After making it safely aboard the Hermes she sent her report off to NASA and then retired to their... Her quarters. She needed to get away from everyone. All that pain stuffed into one place was too much for her. The pitying looks she got from the others was almost as bad as losing Mark. She hated that they saw how broken she was after declaring him dead. Hated that they all knew about her and Mark. Hated how a part of her wished it was one of them that got hit instead of him. After that initial thought, she left. She couldn’t be around them. Not when she was thinking such horrible things as that and was worried, she might accidentally lash out at one of them.
But returning to their shared room was so much worse because now she was surrounded by reminders of him. His Chicago Cubs hoodie he left on the bed. The one she would always nick from him and he would moan about it but secretly he loved her wearing it. The plants he placed in the room to make it seem more homely and not the inside of a prison cell in his words. Notes he wrote on his idea for cultivating Mars. His USB filled with music, shows and everything he brought with him to entertain the two of them while drifting through the stars together. Picture of them stuck to the walls.
A picture of the two of them during their first visit to Chicago together. Mark had dragged her to Wrigley Field to watch his beloved Cubs. They had spent most of the day sightseeing together before watching the game. The day after she had met Mark's parents for the first time over dinner. They immediately warmed to her which relived some of the anxiety she had over meeting them.
Next to that is a picture of the two of them in Missoula. Her father and brothers had wanted to take Mark fishing and she tagged along to make sure they didn’t drown him in the river. Mark spent the whole trip terrified of her family, but his easy charm won everyone over. Even her brothers who did end up pushing him into the river in the end.
A few group thoughts of them with the team on various outings and get togethers. The selfie Mark took after all of them got their matching tattoos stands out the most. All of them smiling brightly relishing in their tattoos and excited for their trip to Mars.
If only they knew that excitement wouldn’t last.
She was surrounded by Mark after just witnessing his death and forced to leave his body behind. Broken seems like such an understatement to explain how she felt in that moment. All she could do was collapse on to the bed pulling his hoodie close and just cried. She let out every painful and anguished feeling she had been holding on to in order to appear functional in front of her crew and NASA. But here she could let it out. Everything she and Mark had been building together had collapsed right in front of her and there was nothing she could do to stop it.
All their dreams and plans went down in flames in a second. She had lost him and a part of herself that day and she couldn’t even imagine feeling anything even close to what she experienced that first night without Mark.
A sentiment which was proven wrong when Mitch sent the video informing them that Mark hadn’t died on Sol 18. No, even worse he had been left behind. She had left him behind to die on Mars all alone.
If she had searched harder she might have found him. She might have been able to save him. They wouldn’t have been separated and left to deal with the aftermath of that day alone. God, she has never hated herself more then after that video played. Once again, she had to leave the crew to deal with the emotional turmoil taking over.
She wanted to be happy. Mark was alive. NASA had a plan for bringing him home. There was hope for them. But she couldn’t just accept that. Everything Mark had to endure on that barren planet was because of her. The hope she had for him being rescued had been crushed when she learnt the probe they were sending to give him supplies until Ares 4 arrived destroyed her.
They had been so close to being able to rescue him, but it exploded in their faces. She knew about the second plan. The rushed more unstable probe aided by the Chinese. The others were happy and relieved that something else was being done and that Mark still had a chance. But she asked Mitch for the report. And she saw the percentage outcome. Seventy one percent chance of failure at the absolute best.
Reading that report she knew it was over. Mark would die on that planet. Because of her.
Mark asked her to be the one to talk to his parents. To remind them that he loved what he was doing. That he has no regrets about going to Mars and he is sorry they would have to suffer because of him. But how can she do that. How can she go to Brianna and Micheal after everything to say this to them. How can she be the one when they know she was his partner, and she was the one to order the launch of the MAV sentencing Mark to death.
Talking about him during his funeral and trying to act like her heart was completely shattered in the wake of his demise and that they were nothing more than co-workers was a nightmare. She had sent them an email before the funeral apologising over and over again for losing him. For not doing her duty and protecting him. She didn’t read their reply. Couldn’t bring herself to face them.
When news of his survival came she had wanted to write again and beg for forgiveness. For failing him even more then she had first believed. But she couldn’t bring herself to write that. What would you even say. Sorry, I left your son to die a long and painful death. She knows they emailed her after they spoke to Mark as a group. But again, she couldn’t bring herself to read their words of hate.
The fact Mark makes it seem like he doesn’t hate her never mind blame for is too much. How can he not blame her. She does. Hell, the world blames her. The inquiry waiting for her at home is enough to know they are going to try and use her as a scapegoat. And she doesn’t blame them it is her fault.
But with this manoeuvre, she can maybe make it right. She can save him and bring him home. Heal some of the damage she caused. And if it was down to her, she would be making her way there already. But if she does this, she would be risking everyone. To save Mark she would be risking, Johanssen, Beck, Vogel and Martinez. Vogel and Martinez have children at home. They all have families who are waiting for them. Beth and Chris are just starting to explore their relationship. Is she really willing to risk everything for a chance to be with Mark again. To risk everyone’s life.
She can’t make this decision. Not on her own.
Ten minutes later everyone is gathered in the meeting room as the information about what they could do is displayed out in front of them. “And the mission concludes with Earth intercept 211 days later.”
“Would it work.” Martinez asks the question they are all thinking.
“mmm-hhh. We ran the numbers. They all check out.” Melissa tells them walking around the table paying close attention to everyone's reactions.
Vogel adds on. “It’s a brilliant course.” And he’s right it is a brilliant course. If everything goes perfectly. One mistake and it's over for everyone.
“So why all the cloak and dagger,” Beck asks looking toward her.
“Because it goes directly against NASA’s decision.” Martinez figures out just as quickly as she did. The weight of what they are talking about weighs heavily on her, but she has to at least try. At least give her people the choice. Give Mark a chance.
The remote in her hands gives her something else to focus on. Something to vaguely distract her from the mounting pressure on her shoulders. The soldier in her is screaming at her to stop this. Stop this treasonous action. The sensible part of her is asking if the risk is worth it. Her heart is telling her not to bother asking the crew and give the order. All parts of her are waging a war inside of her wanting different things. And she can’t show this to the crew. Can’t let them see how this is tearing her apart.
If Mark was here and it was someone else left behind on Mars she knows he would be leading the charge on going back for them. He would be the one to convince everyone to go back. He would be the one to make her feel like she isn’t a complete failure as a commander and remind her that this isn’t over yet. He would send her that lopsided smile and ease any worries she had over the operation.
God, does she miss him.
Pushing that thought to the side she refocuses on the crew. “Yeah. If we do the manoeuvre, they’d have to send the supply ship, or we die. We have the opportunity to force their hand.” She comes to a halt in front of the monitor.
“So, are we gonna do it.” Beth nervously questions. Now isn’t that the question.
Melissa shrugs dropping the remote on the table and taking her seat so she’s level with them. Not above them. For this, she is not their leader. She is equal in this vote. “If it was up to me, We’d already be on our way.”
“But it is, though, isn’t it. Up to you.” Rick asks and she lets out a quiet rueful laugh at this.
She shakes her head leaning back in her chair. “Not this time. This is something Nasa expressly rejected. We’re talking about munity here, which is not a word that I take lightly.” The fact she is even thinking about never mind arguing it with her crew is something she never thought possible. The military in her is enraged at the thought. But she needs to do this. For Mark. “So, we do this together or not at all. And before you answer consider the consequences. If we mess up the supply rendezvous, we die. If we mess up the earth gravity assist, we die. If we do everything perfectly. We add 533 days to our mission. 533 more days before we see our families again. 533 days of unplanned space travel where anything could go wrong. If it’s mission critical, we die.”
So many things could go wrong. Is it right to risk five lives to save one.
It’s no surprise the way Matinez jumps at the opportunity. Never leave a man behind was instilled into them. And this Mark. His best friend and Godfather to his kid. She knew he would be the easiest to convince to do this. “Sign me up.”
Melissa can’t help but smile at his enthusiasm. But she needs to remind him what he is risking before she will accept him going all in. “All right, cowboy, slow down. You and I, we’re military. Chances are we go home; they’ll court martial us.” Something she is not looking forward to but would do it in a heartbeat if it means saving Mark.
Hell, her relationship with Mark alone would result in a court martial if it was ever discovered so that doesn’t phase her as much as it should. She accepted it over a year ago that it could happen at any given moment.
“Oh Yeah, there’s that,” Rick replies relaxing into his chair matching his nonchalant but amused tone. His mind is already made up and nothing will convince him to change his mind now.
Turning to address the crew she makes her final argument they need to consider before voting. “And for the rest of you guys, I guarantee they will never send you back up here again.”
“Good. So, if we go for it, how would it work.” Beck asks twisting in his chair.
“I plot the course and execute it,” Vogel answers only for Johannsen to immediately cut down that simple version of events.
If it was that easy to take over a billion dollar spaceship NASA would have a heart attack. “Remote override. They could take control over the Hermes from mission control.”
A few seconds of silence fills the room before she asks the most important question in regards to this act of treason. “Can you disable it.”
“Hermes has four redundant flight computers each connected to three redundant comm systems. We can’t shut down the comms because we’d lose telemetry and guidance. And we can’t shut down the computers because we need to run the ship. I’d have to disable remote override on each system. It’s part of the OS, I’d have to jump over the code.” Beth explains thinking the situation through and for a work around to the problem.
“Okay, but like in English what would that mean,” Rick asks having lost sense of what Beth was talking about. The confused look Beck has on his face shows he got lost as well.
Beth pauses thinking over the question before turning directly to her. “I can do it.”
“Great.” Now that they know they can do it it’s time for the question of whether will they do it. “Well, it has to be unanimous.” If even one of them has any doubts on the matter, then they can’t do it. She won’t force someone to risk their lives, their careers and their families. No matter how much she wants to. It’s unanimous or not at all.
“If we do this, it’ll be over 900 days of space. That’s more than enough space for one life, so yes.” Alex starts the vote by agreeing to the plan. One yes takes some of the pressure off of her shoulders.
Martinez jumps in next sounding far too happy to be committing treason but in all honestly, she feels just as happy and thrilled at the prospect. “I vote yes.”
“Let’s go get him.” Beck smiles towards her nodding in agreement.
Only one person left before they can go and get Mark. “Johanssen.”
“Yes,” Beth replies shyly but the tinge of excitement can be easily heard in her voice.
“Yeah.” Melissa manages to gasp out. All vote yes. This is happening. They are going to go and save Mark. For a moment it feels like she can finally breathe again. Around her the crew cheer and high five. Who would have thought treason would make so many people so happy.
Smiling to herself Melissa stands from her chair and orders everyone to start preparing and getting everything ready. Turning to look back at the plan she whispers words no one but her will hear. “We’re coming for you, Mark. Don’t worry.” Soon they will all be together again and maybe the broken part of her will be soothed back with Mark’s presence. He always knows what to say or do to make her feel better. Just another one of the reasons why she loves him.