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Frank relaxed into his seat as a puff of smoke slipped out of his mouth. There was a lit joint pinched between his fingers. It was rather unusual that he was the only one in the van, as he was normally the least organized and took the longest to pack up, and everyone else was usually in the van and ready to go by the time he hauled ass and joined them with all his stuff.
Right now he just wanted to relax in the peace and quiet, and for once he could get away with smoking weed in the van. Ray usually got mad at him for it, thinking it was going to get him high too and impact his driving. That was stupid obviously, since Frank usually chose to sit all the way in the back, but he didn’t really want to risk being kicked out of the van and forced to find his own way, so he usually listened.
However, right now, the rest of the band was off doing who knows what. They had just finished up at a venue and had a few hours to themselves before they had to hit the road again. What were the others doing? Who knows. They were grown adults, what they chose to do in their free time was none of Frank’s business. It’s not like he was their babysitter or something.
actually
that’s not entirely true…
Just as Gerard began to cross Frank’s mind, there was a clumsy knock on the van door, and the sound of someone hastily tugging at the handle. Frank sighed and took another long drag from his lazily rolled joint, then leaned forward and started shuffling towards the door.
When he finally unlocked it and let it slide open, he was instantly greeted by none other than Gerard staring up at him, wide eyed and out of breath from tugging at the locked door. Frank immediately recognized the look in Gerard’s eyes, and could tell that he was little. Gerard stimmed anxiously, his hands waving around.
Frank barely had any time to react before Gerard was clumsily trying to pull himself up into the van, one hand on Frank’s shoulder and the other grabbing the door. He was unsteady and couldn’t find the right footing to lift himself in, and quickly started letting out frustrated huffs and whines. Gerard was easily upset in this mindset, and Frank could already see tears starting to form in his eyes.
“Hey! Hang on, let me help you…” Frank mumbled, slipping the end of the joint into the side of his mouth, freeing his other hand.
He grabbed onto Gerard, one hand on his waist and the other one gripping the fabric of his hoodie, and tried to steady him a bit.
“Hey, hey relax! I got you, gee… stop for a sec-“
After a few more moments of struggling and more annoyed huffs from the little, Frank finally pulled him up into the van, sitting him down on the middle row of seats closest to the door. Frank slid back into his spot at the back. Gee was clumsily shoving his greasy jet black hair out of his face, huffing like he was out of breath. His finger got caught in a knot in his hair and an annoyed whine slipped out of his as he tugged on it angrily until a small chunk of his hair came out, the knot still wrapped around his finger. His face was in its default pout he always had when he was small, and he shook his hand until the offending hair was no longer stuck to him.
Gerard didn’t stay in the middle row for more than a couple seconds after that before he was squirming restlessly and turning around to look at Frank and-
Oh!
yeah he’s climbing over the seat…
Frank wasn’t sure what happened. It was like some sort of parental instinct took over him. Within seconds his hands shot out to grab onto Gee before he could get hurt. Frank carefully kept him steady while Gerard kicked and struggled to climb into the back row. Eventually he managed, and Frank let go. He finally thought he could have a second of peace.
He was wrong.
Gerard was huffing and mumbling incoherently as he forced Frank’s arms out of the way so he could sit on top of him. Gerard got himself comfortable sitting sideways on Frank’s lap with his legs Stretched across the perfectly good and empty seats that made up the rest of the back row, then buried his face into Frank’s neck and let out a content sigh. His hands ran up and down his thighs, fingers tracing the seams of the pants he was wearing. It was one of Gerard's most common self-soothing behaviours, regardless of what headspace he was in.
Frank glanced down at him and saw the dark circles under his eyes. They were unusually dark, even for Gerard. Any annoyance Frank felt at his alone time being interrupted quickly dissipated when he realized why Gerard was acting so clingy. Frank held his now almost burnt out joint in one hand and gently ran his free hand through Gerard’s hair.
It was getting a little gross again.
Frank didn’t mind, of course. The whole band was guilty of going days at a time without showering. They rarely had access to them on tour. The only time any of them got to wash themselves was when they could afford a hotel night.
Frank made a mental note to get Gerard in the bath next time they were at a hotel. Hopefully Gerard would be small when they got there, it was the only way Frank could convince his boyfriend to do anything, mostly because he could bribe him with an easy promise of cookies or stickers or letting him stay up later to watch more episodes of whatever cartoon Gerard was fixated on at the time.
Frank took a final hit from his joint and grumbled to himself as he realized it was finished. There was a calming buzz taking over him. He would’ve liked to smoke more, but the little had decided to sit on him in a way that made it impossible for Frank to reach into his pocket to grab more weed. Frank didn’t mind though, it was probably better this way. He needed to be sober enough to give Gee the attention he needed if anything happened.
Gentle breaths against his neck told Frank that Gerard had fallen asleep. He knew how hard it was for Gerard to get good sleep, and if being in Frank’s arms made him feel safe enough to fall asleep that quickly, then Frank was more than happy to let him.
Frank wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but it couldn’t have been long. He was snapped out of his haze by Gerard shifting around restlessly, high pitched, distressed whines slipping out of him. Before Frank could do anything to help, Gerard was awake, and crying.
Gee’s hand drifted to his mouth and within seconds he was stuffing his fingers into his mouth, desperately trying to soothe himself. It wasn’t working very well.
“Baby keep your hands out of your mouth… Neither of us want to get sick.” Frank tugged on his wrist and gently pulled Gerard’s hand out, only causing him to cry more.
Frank’s plethora of health problems and shitty immune system meant he was no stranger to being sick while on tour, trapped in a van with three other guys who would rather not catch whatever you have. He knew how much it sucked, and the last thing he wanted was his baby having to deal with that, especially when he could prevent it.
“Shhhhh-“ Frank tried his best to soothe Gerard while he leaned down and reached for his bag under the seat. Once he found it, he quickly pulled it out and began quickly digging through it, looking for the plain looking black pacifier that he carried around specifically for times like this. His hand collided with hard plastic and he grabbed it, popping off the cover and presenting it to Gerard, who’s cries had only gotten significantly louder since he woke up.
When gee made to move to take it himself, Frank reached up and gently nudged the rubber teat against Gerard’s lips, and Gerard didn’t fight him when Frank nudged it a little further and into his mouth.
His cries were quickly reduced to whines and sniffles after that, and Frank rocked him back and forth a bit to hopefully soothe him enough that he could fall back asleep. When Gee got tired enough that he couldn't fight to keep his eyes open anymore and he could feel himself slipping into an even younger end of his headspace, he let his head fall back into Frank's neck. Frank let out a relieved sigh when Gerard’s breathing evened out, a telltale sign that he was asleep. Once he was sure that Gerard wasn't going to wake up if he moved him a little, he oh so carefully reached into his pocket.
He had time for one more joint before the rest of the band came back.