Chapter Text
In retrospect, Dean should have known that this had been a stupid idea.
Even as he made the call, he knew there'd be repercussions, but dammit, he simply wasn't able to stay away.
The last time he had called Benny he had told him in no uncertain terms that it was the end of the line for them, and while his brain had meant it, his heart most definitely had not. And how could it?
He had told Sammy a handful of things about purgatory, even one or two things about what he had done there to survive, but he had kept one little detail out of his stories.
And that little detail was now meeting him in a shabby motel room, staring at him with longing blue eyes and a very real smile.
“Heya, Dean… it's so good to see you,” he said, and hell, if that wasn't the damn truth.
“Dammit, Benny, it's good to see you, too.”
Before he was fully aware of what he was doing, he found himself lying in Benny's arms, his slightly colder body pressed firmly against his own.
“I thought you said this was over. What changed your mind?” the vampire wanted to know, as if it wasn't obvious. Dean didn't even bother answering his question. Instead, he pulled him into a kiss, showing him exactly why he hadn't been able to stay away. But this time, Benny broke it faster than usual.
“Dean, stop. I can't do this. I have feelings, even if you don't believe it. And as far as I can remember, you said this is over for good. So… talk first, physical stuff later. If I like your answer, Winchester.”
Dean averted his gaze, his usual smug smile wiped from his face. This hurt. Not just Benny, but also himself.
A part of him knew he should have let him go and moved on, but how could he? Dammit, they had spent every day together for almost the entire year down in purgatory, and now he should just let go? Because Sammy said so after he hadn't even searched for him?
“Benny, look, I… I have no excuse. I'm sorry. I thought it would be better for us to not see each other. Maybe just to keep you safe from other hunters–”
“You mean like your brother?”
Dean opened his mouth and closed it again, looking at Benny with tears in his eyes.
“Yeah. He… We, well… I told him to choose. This life or his girlfriend. And when I realized the hypocrisy I thought I should–”
“Break up with me?”
This time, Dean looked at the ceiling to not punch him in the face. Benny always did that, finishing his sentences. Especially in these situations. And he didn't like it one bit.
“Dude, seriously, I'm trying to tell a story here,” he hissed, but the vampire just laughed.
“Yeah, sorry. Continue then.”
Dean needed a moment to gather his thoughts, but that was really all there was to it. It had been a stupid decision and he had regretted it from the second he had hung up the phone. And if Sam knew he was here, he'd probably give him the beating he deserved.
“Look, Benny. I'm sorry. I should have never broken this off, but Sam, he… he doesn't know that we're… I never told him this part, okay? And he can never know, is that clear? He wouldn't be on board with it and he'd ice you in a heartbeat. But I don't– I just– Dammit, Benny, I don't want to do all of this without you. We're family and I… I still love you.”
There was visible pain in those beautiful, blue eyes, but Dean could see it lessen by the second.
“Dean…”
“Okay, enough chick-flick, how about you finally pick me up and fuck me into this damn mattress until the neighbors complain? Because if I gotta talk about this one more second imma cry and neither of us wants to deal with that.”
There it was again, Benny's beautiful, slightly mischievous smile. Oh, how much he had missed that.
“What's the matter, chief? You somehow missed me, or?”
“As a matter of fact, I did. And I gotta be back with Sam before he wakes up. Like I said, he can't know I'm here. With you.”
Benny nodded, but he could see in his eyes and in the way the smile left his face that he wasn't too happy about it. Mind him, Dean wasn't either, but what should he do?
It took hardly a few minutes until Benny was laying on top of him on the old motel bed, both of them naked and latched onto each other like their life depended on it.
Bennys kisses were hungry and passionate, and while Dean greatly enjoyed finally feeling him again, he did notice he was way more reluctant than he had been the last time they met. He wanted Benny, badly, but he he couldn't, in good conscience, fuck while he was acting like this.
So after a few more seconds he broke their kiss, looking up into his eyes, slowly shaking his head.
“Benny, what's going on? Something's off. And don't tell me it's not. I feel it. Okay? I know you.”
The vampire let out a chuckle and rolled off Dean without a warning to lay down next to him instead. He immediately missed the weight on top of him, but instead of complaining, he turned on his side, resting one hand on Benny's chest.
“You know… I don't know what I expected, but not you begging me to come here only to tell me you gotta be back by morning.”
That hit hard. Of course Dean had already figured that it probably wasn't ideal, but he thought it was still better than not seeing each other at all.
“Look, I'm sorry. I wish I could tell you something else, but… There's no other way. For now, at least. It's always gonna be in between for us. I'll make time whenever I can, but I'm a hunter and you're a vampire. If any other hunter sees us together like this, we're toast. And Sammy already threatened to kill you. So let's just enjoy what we can have, okay? Please… I missed you.”
Benny seemed to consider it for a moment, then he heaved a sigh.
“Yeah, you're right. I do miss purgatory sometimes. It was easier there, even with your angel buddy always around.”
Dean let out a chuckle.
“Yeah. he doesn't judge. Weirdly enough. We should have started fucking when we were still there, though. Much more time and way less hunters. Come here now. I'm done talking. I put enough sleeping pills in Sammy's tea to knock out an elephant, but he's kinda tall so...”
Before Dean could pull Benny on top of him, the vampire pushed him away a little, giving him a concerned look.
“You drugged your brother??” he asked, but the hunter just shrugged.
“Eh. Dude needs some proper sleep anyway.”
“Fair enough.”
Once again, Dean tried to pull him on top of him, and his partner finally complied. They started kissing again, and this time it felt just like he remembered. He pulled Benny close, let his hands run through his short hair like he had done so many times before, and for a blissful moment he forgot about all his problems. It was just him and Benny again, and he'd be lying if he said he hadn't missed this.
When the vampire broke their kiss, Dean was panting heavily, noticing his arousal already pressing against his partner's leg.
“My, my… You are impatient. How about a little treat first?” Benny asked, slowly bending down to place a very demanding kiss on his neck.
“Dude, no. Not like this, at least. If Sam sees it –”
“Yeah, yeah, alright.”
Without a warning, Benny sat up, now towering far above Dean, his hard cock rubbing against his own. It was amazing to finally feel him again, and he had a tough time to not just shut his brain off completely.
“You can have it, baby. If you do me good,” he teased, and apparently he didn't have to tell his partner twice.
“I'll fuck you so good you won't remember your name. If you last that long.”
If Dean loved one thing, it was being manhandled by his boyfriend. Never in his life would he have dreamed to even think this, but ever since he had met Benny, there wasn't anyone else he wanted to be touched by.
The way he guided him into the position he wanted him in, pulling his hair with one hand while turning him around with the other, it was definitely something else. He was rough with him, but also loving, and it was exactly what the hunter needed.
He now was on all fours, his ass right where Benny wanted it while his hard cock strained against his belly.
“Baby, tell me you got everything we need,” he growled from behind him, and it made a shiver run through Dean's body. So much for the foreplay.
“In the cooling bag, right on top. I also… brought you a refill, but don't you dare get snacky right now!”
Benny chuckled behind him and then slapped his ass hard enough for Dean to be unable to hold back a moan.
“Don't worry. I still plan to snack on you first.”
A shiver ran down his spine as he heard these words and he felt his dick twitch with anticipation. He knew he shouldn't feel so aroused by this, he should feel repulsed by the idea alone, but… Dammit, he loved it when Benny drank from him. It was a form of intimacy he never had in his life and it was entirely based on trust. The vampire would take only as much blood as Dean could lose without side effects, and the hunter wouldn't kill him in his most vulnerable moment.
“Benny… Hurry up, please…” he whined as he watched his boyfriend opening the bag painfully slowly, taking a moment to look at the goods.
“Wow, you brought me quite the supply there, babe. You tryna make up for something, or..?”
“Benny, I swear if you don't come over here right now and fuck me, I'll do it myself. I haven't had sex in months, I need you.”
Again, the vampire laughed, but this time he was definitely more amused.
“And whose fault is that?” he asked as he pulled out the condoms and the small tube of lube Dean had carelessly thrown into the cooling bag and made his way back to his lover. It felt like he was stalling on purpose by now, nevertheless, the hunter didn't change his position or move at all. He knew Benny enjoyed it if Dean complied, and today he definitely didn't feel like acting up. No, he wanted to feel him again, and he wanted to feel him soon.
“It's my fault. Can you hurry now? Please?”
When he felt Benny back on the bed behind him again, he closed his eyes and bit his lip. He knew he would at least take a few minutes to prep him, but that was alright with him. If Benny would only get started.
“You know… I feel like taking it real slow today. You've surely been through hell, let me spoil you, baby…”
Dean let out a groan, but didn't protest further than that. Whatever the vampire had in mind, he couldn't keep him from doing so anyway. He was, after all, stronger than him and he really didn't want to put up a fight. Not tonight.
Cold hands started to wander all over his back and sides, making him shiver with every move, but he would have lied if he said he didn't enjoy this. Sex was one thing, but deep inside, the hunter enjoyed these gentle touches more than anything.
“Benny…” he whispered as the vampire shifted a little, provocatively pressing his own erect cock against Dean's ass.
“Something wrong, chief?”
The hunter shook his head, clawing both his hands into the mattress as he felt sharp teeth grazing over his back, trying to ignore the steady flow of precum that was already dripping from his cock. There was no point in trying to hide it, Benny knew, probably already smelled how far he was, but maybe he could last long enough if he didn't think about it too much.
“God, Benny!” he moaned as the vampire's hands had found their way down to his thighs, gently tracing them from the bottom up while his hard cock was still pressed against his ass.
“You'd cum from this alone, mhm? You needy little bitch.”
“Shut up and fuck me already.”
“Alright. But don't you dare cum before I'm done with you.”
God that was hot. Dean couldn't help but to nod frantically, and before he knew what was happening he found himself on his back again, Benny on top of him kissing him hungrily.
“I love you,” he croaked as the vampire broke their kiss, and he gave him back the most heartwarming smile.
“I love you, too. Now look at me. Don't take your eyes off me, or you will regret it. You know the drill.”
Again, the hunter nodded. He watched as Benny took the small bottle of lube and distributed some on his fingers, and as if it was the most natural thing for him to do, Dean lifted his legs and placed them on Benny's shoulders.
“Good boy,” he praised, and not a second later he felt two of Benny's fingers pushing inside of him.
“Oh fuck!” Dean moaned, closing his eyes just for a second to cope with the feeling. It had been way too long since he last felt Benny inside him, and even though it was just his fingers, it made him feel incredibly good. Also, it burnt a little, but in a damn good way.
“Eyes up here, princess,” the vampire demanded, and Dean immediately complied.
“I'm sorry… sorry…”
When people first met Dean, they usually assumed he was on the more dominant side of things, hell, he would say that about himself, but the way Benny dominated him definitely put him right back in his lane. He since noticed that he much more preferred to be on the receiving end, to be pampered, spoiled and fucked by the person he loved most.
“It's alright, baby. You're doing good.”
As Dean felt the fingers inside him starting to scissor him open, he couldn't refrain from letting out a loud moan. His cock was already leaking onto his belly and he knew he wouldn't be able to hold on if Benny continued much longer. And still, his partner added a third finger, not making it any easier for him to hold back.
“Benny… I can't… ngh… too much–”
“Stop whining. I'm not done with you.”
Dean nodded frantically, trying to keep his eyes on Benny the entire time. But as he pushed his fingers in deeper, pressing right on his prostate, all his good-will didn't matter anymore. The hunter came with a scream, shooting a huge load onto his belly.
“Ah… Damn… I'm sorry,” he apologized, panting, but Benny quickly shook his head, grinning at him with quite some amusement. That had been way too fucking fast.
“Ain't no thing, mister. Just shows me you haven't been lying. If you make sure I'll have my fun, too, all is forgotten,” he gave back with a grin, slowly pulling out his fingers.
The hunter needed a few moments to catch his breath, then slowly sat up and reached for the complementary box of tissues on the nightstand to wipe himself clean.
“Why would I lie to you? You should know by now–”
He abruptly ended his sentence, not actually wanting to finish it. The amount of feelings he had for this godforsaken vampire were at a level it almost made him uncomfortable to think about, and the fact that he hadn't even wanted to sleep with anyone since he had broken up with Benny definitely made him realize the rest. He was Dean's soulmate, more than Cas and definitely more than Sam ever had been. And luckily, Benny also knew him well enough to not talk about it anymore.
“I know, Dean. Believe me, I know. C’me here.”
He opened his arms and welcomed the vampire in a tight embrace, kissing him gently and lovingly for a while, and he definitely would have been able to just fall asleep like this. But since he could still feel Benny's erection pressing against his thigh, he knew that sleeping wasn't an option just yet.
“Hey… Let me get up quickly,” Dean demanded, and without hesitating the vampire sat up and let him wiggle off the bed.
“Nice ass,” he heard Benny whisper as he bent over to get a small knife out of the bag, unable to hold back a grin.
“And all yours. Okay babe, time for the promised treat,” he said, sitting right on top of Benny's lap before he used the knife to cut a fine line into his wrist.
It was fascinating how imminent Benny's eyes got cloudy and dark, and it would be a lie to say that he didn't find it hot.
“Easy there, don't drink it all at once,” he said as he noticed how fast he was drinking from him, but it was quite alright. He trusted him and he knew the vampire would never hurt him.
His free hand found its way in between his legs, starting to lazily jerk Benny off while he drank from him. Dean noticed that he was already twitching in his hand and the steady flow of precum that was slicking up his cock told the same story.
Apparently, drinking from a loved one was a special kind of treat – at least that was what the vampire had told him – and also quite arousing to him.
It took him a few minutes until Benny decided he was done, and when he looked at Dean he could see the traces of his own blood on his lips. Still, he leaned forward to kiss him, wrapping his now free hand around his neck while he continually stroked him off with his other. Tasting his own blood on Benny's lips was nothing new to him anymore, nor was it a problem to him in any way. It was just how it had always been since Dean had started to let him feed on him, and it had quite literally become normal to him in a matter of minutes.
He felt Benny's hands on his back, clawing into his flesh after a few more seconds, and it showed him that his partner was close. So he stroked him a little faster, using his precum to lube him up so it wouldn't hurt him. Not that it could, probably, but Dean didn't want to risk it.
They continued to kiss until Benny suddenly broke it, letting out a loud moan before he came harshly in Dean's hand. And hot dang it was a lot.
“Damn… I must say, D… I missed this.”
“Me, too, baby. God, Benny…”
He quickly wiped his cum on the covers before he pushed him onto his back with his full weight, snuggling up to him as close as he possibly could.
Gentle hands found his hair and stroked over his back, and there was a little part of Dean that wanted to cry. Being so intimate with him again had made him realize once more how much he needed him, and how much he needed this back.
“I can't do this, Benny. I can't stay away from you for so long again… there has to be some other way,” he whispered into his neck, and the vampire tightened his embrace around him.
“I don't think convincing Sam that I'm on the good side is really an option, right? I mean, could you try?” he asked, his voice nothing but a quiet, sad whisper – and Dean knew no answer. There was a chance that Sammy would come around to accept him, but how would he even start explaining this situation?
He had been the one saying he had to be either in or out, that they couldn't have partners outside of hunting, he had been the one who had clocked Sammy over and over for sympathizing with the monsters, so how could he expect him to just overlook that he was sleeping with one right now.
“I don't know, Benny…” he said, slowly rolling off him so they could lay side by side, able to look at each other while they talked.
“You know, I think it's kinda my fault he reacted so badly when he first met you. My view on these things used to be all black and white and I taught him that. But since purgatory, it's become a lot more gray for me. I'm not sure how Sam sees the world by now.”
Benny slowly nodded, reaching out one hand to Dean, expectantly waiting for him to interlace their fingers.
“I get it, D. I do, really. But you gotta talk to him at some point. Meeting like this, keeping secrets from him… I don't think he'd appreciate it much if he found out. Especially if he knew you drugged him. That's low, honey. Even for you.”
The hunter knew he was right, all of this wasn't something he should be proud of. But the truth was, he was scared. Sam didn't even come looking for him, instead he had been enjoying life with some random chick while he was rotting in purgatory. He was scared that if he overstepped, Sam would just leave again. And he definitely didn't want that. But he also didn't want to lose Benny again. He couldn't. He was his soulmate, after all. And he was the one who'd die for him in a heartbeat, just as Dean would give his life for him.
“I know. But seriously, how do I tell him this? I mean I can't just go to him and tell him I'm a friend of Dorothy's now and I'm dating Edward from Twilight. Please don't gank my sparkly vampire boyfriend. He'd probably kill us both if I tried that.”
Benny rolled his eyes and pulled his hand away so he could gently smack Dean's head.
“Get over the internalized homophobia already. That's really 1820 of you. Wouldn't be different for him if you dated a female vamp,” he gave back, and while the hunter knew he was right, that still didn't solve the problem.
“I know, but seriously… It's not that easy. Also let's say he would be fine with us, how do we do this? I doubt you wanna come hunting with us,” he wondered, but after giving it a thought for a few moments, he realized it wouldn't even be that absurd.
“Why not? I'd make a damn good hunter. And I'm not very fond of other vampires.”
“Yeah, you're probably right… I don't know, I'll talk to him. If the time is right. But seriously, for now this is the only option we have, alright? You gotta keep your distance until I call…”
Dean moved a little closer to his partner, waiting until he laid on his back so he could rest his head on his shoulder. He knew he should be heading back, after all it had been a two hour drive here and he really didn't know how long Sammy would be asleep, but then… He was comfortable right now. And the case they were working on was basically a dead end.
“I promise. Can you stay the night, though? Just for a bit? I'd hate to see you leave already. Would make me feel like a cheap whore.”
The hunter nodded against his chest, knowing it was a terrible idea. If Sam called, he had to come up with some bogus lie about where he was and why, but right now he couldn't be assed to give a crap. He was finally able to sleep in Benny's arms again – even if it was only for a few hours – and he wouldn't let anyone take this away from him.
“You gotta wake me up in a bit, okay? I should be on the road already…” he said, noticing he was already drifting to sleep.
Benny pulled him closer and pressed a gentle kiss on his hair, nodding at his request.
“I'm hungry anyway. I'll wake you when I get up to feed. Sleep well, Dean.”
Even if the hunter had wanted to, he couldn't have gotten out another word. The sleep deprivation of the last few months decided to catch up with him at this very moment, and before he knew what was happening, he found himself in a comfortable, dreamless sleep.