Work Text:
“It’s just stupid.” Crocodile declares, all of six, and utterly confident in his statement. That is was correct, and needed no more explanation.
“What is?” Considering what had happened in the past couple weeks, Xebec thought that was a fair question. Crocodile could be referring to his current punishment, of being shipbound and stuck to Xebec’s side, while the others went gallivanting on whatever island they docked at- not presently happening but they were set to dock later that day, he could be trying to weasel his way out of it. Or, he could be referring to a conversation from yesterday Xebec already forgot about. Or about the Celestial Dragon they hostaged and killed last week. Or how much Linlin was talking about devil fruits despite having one.
Crocodile, in general, thought a lot of things were stupid.
Crocodile turns to Xebec, utter confused as to how he didn’t understand, but still does explain himself. Because even if someone was stupid, there’s no reason to not explain.
“Edward!” That was not enough of an explanation, since Xebec just furrows his brow at Crocodile. With a suffering sigh, Crocodile gestures to the infirmary, where Edward was still holed up and their last fight. “He wants a family! He wants to go off and do that shit.”
“Ok.”
“But it’s stupid!” Crocodile reiterates, trying to get Xebec to understand but. It, genuinely, was not happening. Because Crocodile wasn’t making sense. Crocodile groans when he sees Xebec is still confused, and starts pacing. Xebec just leans against the side of the ship and watches as Crocodile tries to get his words. It takes a while. “Why even want that? He keeps getting hurt, almost dead, for the chance to go get a family? Why does that matter? Family is just stupid!”
“We’re. Family.”
Crocodile stops pacing, staring up at Xebec, and declares flatly, “You’re stupid too.” Linlin’s cackling went ignored. For now. As Crocodile continued, “You nearly lost your arm because of me! How isn’t that stupid! Family just makes you an idiot and weak! Linlin has like fifty children and she doesn’t care about them!”
“Hey!”
Xebec turns to the woman, who was now approaching angrily, “What’s the name of your most recent spawn?”
Linlin stops, opening her mouth, closing it, and then turning and stomping off.
“See! And She’s not weak cause she doesn’t care about them! They’re not really family.” Crocodile declares, gesturing to Linlin’s departing back. “But then she is cause she likes children! She would let herself get stabbed because of a child!” Not Crocodile, because, Linlin doesn’t like Crocodile but. For every other child under ten.
“You’re not making your point.” Xebec states, leaning forward and tapping Crocodile’s nose. “Family doesn’t make Linlin weak, her emotions do. And it doesn’t make me weak, for wanting to protect you. Think of this, when you’re in danger, I fight harder don’t I? Because I want to protect you. When Linlin is with a child in danger, she fights ten times harder than she otherwise would. Wouldn’t that make you stronger?”
Crocodile scrunches up his face, “No. Cause you’re still weak. You’d put yourself in line of fire to save me, that’s being weak and stupid. Edward’s repeated attempts to leave are stupid and he’s only doing it cause he wants to have a family. Why-”
Xebec sighs, and stands up. Crocodile stops talking, assumes, like the times before, that this meant this conversation was over. Xebec was over talking about this, and didn’t care to humour Crocodile anymore. Crocodile pouts, but steps back to follow his father wherever he planned on going.
Instead, Xebec grabs Crocodile by the back of his shirt, and throws him overboard.
“CROW!”
Linlin’s screech was the last thing he heard before he hit the water and started sinking. He kept his mouth shut, trying to conserve his air, trying to think, not. Not panic. Did he say something wrong? Ask too many questions? Did Dad not like that topic? Did he miss something? A sign, a hint, that he was supposed to stop talking before? What happened? What did he miss?
Crocodile flinches when something touches him, then immediately grabs onto the Alligator swimming beneath him, swimming to the surface. Pets. Pets. Friends. They were here to help. Only ones Crocodile could trust to never betray him. Crocodile gasps for air when they surface, coughing and clinging tighter to the Alligator. Dad said not to name them, not to get too attached. Animals were animals, and they’d turn if Crocodile was too weak to control them. Attachment, naming, was weak.
“Crow!” Crocodile looks up to the ship, where Linlin was leaning over the edge, looking weirdly relieved. She hated him. Why did she care if he died? Xebec was beside her, arms crossed, no expression Crocodile could parse. Was. Was he supposed to drown? But. Why? Dad wanted him alive. Protected him, always. What changed?
Crocodile turns his attention away at a splash, seeing Kaido surfacing beside them. Eying the Alligator warily, before looking to Crocodile, “I’ll bring you back up.” Crocodile hesitated, not knowing if he should trust Kaido. He barely interacted with him. Barely knew him. But, he was the only one here. Xebec could’ve dove in. Others. But Crocodile only had Kaido, who extended an arm, the other still being used for treading.
Why was Kaido here? Why didn’t his dad come get him? Why did he throw Crocodile? What did he do wrong?
He has to get back to the ship to get answers.
Crocodile slides off the Alligator, clinging to Kaido’s arm. Kaido holds him tight to his chest, and swims back to the ship, carrying him even as they climbed the ladder up, which. Was probably overkill. Crocodile could’ve climbed on his own. Kaido drops Crocodile on the deck, and Crocodile coughs a bit more. From the drop and from the water that got in his lungs. He sees, hears, Linlin come over. Expecting her to do what she always does, and fawn over Kaido.
Instead, he feels her hand, her nails, rubbing his back, hears her say. Stupid, comforting, words.
Crocodile pushes himself upright, ignoring Linlin’s concerned expression that has never been directed at him, and looks to his dad, hoping there was an explanation. Did Linlin hit her head? What happened.
Xebec smirks, “Without family, you’d be dead.” Crocodile furrows his brow, trying to understand. Understand how that didn’t just make him weak, for depending on others. “Family helps one another, and depend on each other.”
Linlin’s hand abruptly disappears from his back, as the woman stands and starts yelling at Xebec. Crocodile ignores it, trying to take in Xebec’s lesson the way he wanted it. Trying to understand.
In the end, lying is easier.
--
In the end, Crocodile is right.
He hates it, but he is.
“Dad?” His eyes are open but. There’s. Crocodile shakes one of his shoulders, putting all his weight on it. Wanting, hoping, praying, this was a bad joke. A mean prank, and he wasn’t gone. Wasn’t dead. Because of him. Because Crocodile couldn’t defend himself well, and needed others to save him. Needed his dad to come save him. Crocodile tries again, tries, because he doesn’t want to be alone. Doesn’t want to be abandoned. Dad said he’d never leave. He’d never leave Crocodile. He’s not supposed to die. He’s supposed to be here. He’s supposed to stay with Crocodile.
He’s supposed to tease him. Mock him. Call him a crybaby. Smirk. Laugh.
Not smile. Why is he smiling?
Dad doesn’t smile.
Not like that. Why does he look happy? He’s not supposed to. Dad doesn’t smile if he’s happy. He never smiles when he’s happy.
Why is he now?
Then an arm wraps around Crocodile’s midsection, hauling him away from his Dad, and for a second, Crocodile thinks its Kaido, or Edward, someone safe. Someone he knows. Then he looks up and starts screeching. Biting, scratching. Anything and everything he could. He didn’t want to be abducted! He didn’t want to go with the Marines! He didn’t want to be tortured! He wanted to be with his Dad!
--
These people were weird.
Crocodile knew it was safest to stay with them, so he didn’t complain. Much. But. They were weird. He didn’t understand it. He didn’t get why they acted like that. Why they acted like they cared about him. They shouldn’t. There’s no reason to. He didn’t even really understand why Garp saved him. But even ignoring that, he didn’t get why the others cared about him. Why they talked, smiled, and included him. Were nice to him.
It didn’t make sense.
Crocodile let it be for a couple years, doing the bare minimum to keep living there, to not make them too concerned. But they seemed to get worried at the drop of a button so that was kind of pointless. It seemed like every other word out of his mouth got him a new lecture. New worried looks. New concern. More affection. More attention.
He hated it.
“Can I ask something?” Crocodile knew Charlie stayed up late, especially when Garp wasn’t home. She stayed up in the main room until at least midnight, sometimes she never went to sleep. He didn’t know why, and didn’t care. It mattered now, because it meant he could talk to her, without Dragon overhearing. And maybe if she was sleepy, she wouldn’t remember. Or she wouldn’t try to lecture him.
“Of course dear.” Charlie says, putting down her book and gesturing for Crocodile to sit. He takes a chair a fair distance away from her. Not within touching range by any stretch. If she tried to hug him, he could run.
“Why do you care about me?”
Charlie furrows her brow, “I’m afraid I don’t understand, dear.”
Crocodile looks away from her. It was weird, and he hated it. She was polite, kind. Always. Unfailingly. “I don’t care about you people, I’m not nice. I’m not related to you. I put you all in danger. I don’t understand why you care.” He’s aware, he might very well get kicked out for this but. At this point, he’d rather die out there than keep being utterly baffled at every turn. He needs them to make sense. And they don’t.
“Well. We care, because you’re family. I know you don’t like us, but, to us. To Garp and I at least, you’re family. The day Garp rescued you, he made the decision that he was going to protect you. When he brought you home, I agreed with that decision. You’re ours to protect and care for. You’re family. We will love you, until the day we die. We will protect you, and care for you. Even if you don’t like us, even if you are not kind. Your existence shouldn’t put anyone in danger, no one should be hunting for you. We can protect you from that, so we will.”
Crocodile stares at Charlie in confusion. She says it so simply. So easily. Like it was common sense. Like it was nothing special. Nothing noteworthy. Mere facts of life. But. People weren’t like that. People weren’t nice. They don’t do stuff like that for nothing. Not even Newgate was that big of an idiot.
“What do you get out of it?”
“What do you mean?”
“No one protects someone for nothing. No one risks their life for nothing.” It didn’t make sense. Why can’t these people make sense?
Charlie shrugs a shoulder, “It’s not for anything. It’s because of love. We love you, and we will protect you. Garp told me, that your father protected you. Why is that any different? He loved you, and he protected you. Now you’re with us, and we will protect you just the same.”
That.
Why? Why these strangers? They didn’t know Crocodile before. They didn’t know anything about him. Why would they protect him? Help him? Why them? Why not his father’s crew? Why not Kaido? Why not Newgate? Or even Linlin? Why? Was he that horrible? Did they blame him for Xebec? See him as nothing but an echo of his dad? Didn’t want a reminder of someone they hated? Did they never even care in the first place? Only cared as much as Xebec made them? Did he do something wrong? Why did these strangers care more than them?
Why.
“He died. It was stupid of him to do that.”
It was easier, to focus on that. Focus on his dad’s death. On how stupid it had been, unnecessary.
Crocodile almost flinches when Charlie becomes angry. He shrinks back in the chair when she stands, but she doesn’t move to him, doesn’t try anything. She waves her finger though, and her tone is. Very mad. Scolding. “I will say many things about that man, but that is not something you can decide. When someone gives their life, it is not up to the living to decide if it was a smart or stupid decision, if it was warranted or not. You do not say that. What happened, is he died. He died protecting you. And what you take from that, is that he wanted you to live. Nothing else. Not the intelligence, not the necessity. The pure and simple fact, that he wanted you to live, and would rather die himself than let you.”
Crocodile stares at his lap, curling his shoulders in. He didn’t. It wasn’t. Just. Why. Why did he have to do that? Why couldn’t he let Crocodile die? He didn’t want to keep living without his dad. How was he supposed to do that? He didn’t. He couldn’t. What was he supposed to do? Why did he have to live? Why did he have to be saved? Why couldn’t he just die there too? Why couldn’t they just hand him over to the Marines? Send him to his death. Why.
“Oh, sweetie.” Crocodile, for once, doesn’t struggle when he’s hugged. He’s crying, he hates it, but he hugs Charlie back, crying into her shoulder. She rubs his back, humming a gentle tune Crocodile doesn’t know. Crocodile just cries, and cries. Hating it every second. “I know. Living through that is hard. I’m sorry you did, but all I can say is. Please, just live your life. Don’t die, don’t do anything stupid and let yourself die.” Crocodile sniffles, the tears, slowly, slowing down. Slower than he’d like. Charlie started petting his hair, reminding him how long it had gotten. “Never doubt someone’s love for you. Not when they’d give their life for you. Not when they do everything to protect you. It’s not stupid, when it’s love.”
(Only a year later, Charlie deeply regrets that advice upon learning more and more of Xebec’s parenting.)
--
It’s still stupid, when it’s love.
For a while. For the past few years, Crocodile believed Charlie. Understood it better, understood why they were acting weird. He still thought it was weird but. It was more acceptable. Easier to move with. He didn’t know how to feel, about the pair loving him, but. Charlie said he didn’t need to do anything so. He ignored it. He ignored it and learned to live with them. And yeah. Sure. He started caring about them. He’d never admit it but. He did.
He’d never admit he loved them. That he’d give his life for them. He was stupid now too.
And. Maybe, maybe he still did believe Charlie. Even now. Still believed her, believed her love for him. He still listened to her.
He lived.
Even when he wanted to die.
Charlie’s dead. Because of him. Because she was protecting him. Because she loved him.
Dragon was angry. He yelled. He didn’t want to be around Crocodile. It made sense. It was reasonable. Crocodile got his mom killed. Crocodile doesn’t want to be around himself. Couldn’t look at himself, any part. He sat in his room, the lights off, curled in a ball in one of the corners. He wanted to die. He wanted to go drown. Why does everyone die? Why does he lose everyone? He doesn’t want people to die for him. What fucking love is that?! Why do they have to die? Why can’t they live? Why. Why.
Why does he end up alone?
Dragon hates him, Garp probably does too.
Crocodile doesn’t know if he’ll be kicked out. If Garp will hate him so much he can’t look at him- Crocodile couldn’t- or if Garp wouldn’t be able to go against what Charlie wanted before she died. But would it matter? Either way Garp will hate him. Will despise his existence. Who wouldn’t? Why does anyone love him? They shouldn’t. No one should. They’d learn, just like the Rocks pirates. He wasn’t worth love. Wasn’t worth their sacrifice. They should just abandon him. It would be easier, if no one was around.
His dad was wrong. So wrong. Family, love, just makes people weak.
Being alone makes someone strong. There’s no one to sacrifice for. No one to love, no one to care for. No one to die for.
Crocodile winces when the door opens, the bright light from the hall invading his dark room. He squeezes his eyes shut, when his light is turned on. Blinded for a second before he can squint his eyes to see who it was. When he finally recognizes Garp, as the man comes into the room, shutting the door behind him, he has a split second fear that he’s going to die. That Garp’s going to get revenge.
“Your face.”
But Garp just looks sad.
What’s wrong with his face? Crocodile just stares at Garp in confusion, as he comes closer, as he kneels opposite to Crocodile. Until Garp touches his face, and it hurts. It stings. And Garp’s hand comes away with blood. “What happened?” Garp pulls out a cloth, dabbing, wiping, at Crocodile’s face.
“I don’t. I don’t know.” Did he scratch it open? He was. He was rubbing his face. Maybe? “Sorry.”
“Who’re you apologizing to? You’re the one bleeding.”
“Charlie. I’m. I’m sorry.” Garp stops moving, then he sighs and keeps doing what he was before. Crocodile doesn’t understand. Why he was getting this care. Why he was being gentle.
“You don’t need to apologize for that. Charlie made her own decisions.”
“But. If I. If I wasn’t here, she would be.” Why didn’t Garp understand? It was his fault. They were here for him. If he hadn’t been here. If he hadn’t. He was supposed to die, not Charlie.
“Maybe.” It’s not maybe- “Or maybe she would’ve offended the wrong person. Or slip on the floor, or mix up her chemicals. Don’t stick on what could’ve been. You can never truly know what would’ve happened. She’s dead, and. nothing can be done.” Crocodile blinks a few times, trying to stop his own tears. Garp wasn’t crying. He was emotional, his voice broke but. He wasn’t crying. Charlie was his Wife of twenty years. Crocodile knew her barely seven. He shouldn’t. He didn’t deserve. “She loved you, just remember that.”
“Cause she gave her life. I know, don’t doubt it.” Crocodile mumbles, looking away from Garp.
Garp, freezes, pulling his hand away from Crocodile’s face. “Who told you that?”
Crocodile looks back at Garp, blinking in confusion. Suddenly, feeling like he said something very wrong. “Charlie? Never doubt someone love for you, not when they’d give their life.” Crocodile hunches his shoulders, crumpling as much as he could. “Sorry.”
Garp, who had been growing distressed, shakes his head and the emotion disappears. He just, seemed calm. And started dabbing Crocodile’s face again. “Don’t apologize. You said nothing wrong.” Crocodile feels like that’s a lie, but, is also not about to call Garp out. “Look. I won’t say she’s wrong, but. Don’t take that to heart.” What? “You don’t want anyone you love to die for you, right?” Crocodile nods a bit, kind of confused, but. Right. He hated it. “And no one who loves you wants you dying for them.” Oh. “It’s a big sacrifice, and it’s important. But. It’s harder to keep living, isn’t it? And doing that shows your love a lot more than dying. Don’t. Don’t just remember her because she died for you, remember everything before. Everything else. All that showed her love for you.”
“Ok.” Crocodile wasn’t going to cry. He wasn’t. He’s cried too much today.
“Let’s get your face back together.” Garp declares, picking Crocodile up and taking him to the washroom. Acting, like normal.
Crocodile didn’t understand. How could he?
Didn’t he love Charlie?
--
“Where was Charlie from?” People, kept saying She’d gone home, if anyone asked or commented on Charlie. But. Crocodile didn’t know where home was for her. Where people thought she went. Maybe it wasn’t in the Grand Line? Maybe they couldn’t just, go check? He figured Dragon would know. It’s been a year since Crocodile left, more since Dragon ran off to start his revolution. Crocodile hadn’t been planning to go near him, Dragon had left so soon after Charlie that. Crocodile assumed he was still angry.
Instead. Dragon came and found him.
The island was unimportant, a random one Crocodile had stopped at with his crew. Dragon was suddenly there. And now they were having drinks. Because, that is something that happens.
“O’Hara. Why?”
Crocodile shrugs, turning his empty cup with one finger. “Just curious. I just, didn’t know much about her.” He never asked Garp, because. It just never seemed right. And now he made this a very awkward conversation.
“You’re not at fault, you know.” Crocodile looks up at Dragon, just, confused. Dragon was staring at his drink, not Crocodile. “I know I blamed you but. It wasn’t your fault. Mom, was just like that.”
Oh.
Crocodile shrugs, “I know.” When Dragon looks at him with confusion, Crocodile really can’t help the offence. “You left me alone with Garp.”
Dragon winces, instantly understanding. “Sorry?”
“Unforgiveable.” Crocodile declares, only, partly joking. Dragon being there or not wouldn’t have really affected how much he got lectured. But he wouldn’t have been alone.
“Are you sure?”
Crocodile narrows his eyes, looking Dragon up and down. “How much money you got?”
“Around a thousand berries.” Dragon answers without hesitation, shrugging and smiling sheepishly when Crocodile stares.
“How are you that broke?!”
Dragon laughs uneasily, “Revolution isn’t cheap?”
Crocodile groans, burying his face in his hands, “Did you not pay attention to any of Charlie’s financial lessons?”
“I. You know, I’m older than you.” Said with offence, and an inability to actually defend himself.
Crocodile pulls his hands away to give Dragon a flat look, “And yet all those years did was make you an idiot.”
“HEY-”
“Oh shut up.” Crocodile stands, “I’ll get you some funds. I can spare three hundred right now.
“Three hundred berries?” Dragon was plainly confused. Crocodile rolls his eyes. How was this idiot running a revolution?
“Thousand, you broke idiot.”
“Oh. Thank you.”
That smile. That stupid smile. It made Crocodile want to strangle him. He probably got half his stupid followers just with it. This wasn’t Crocodile’s problem. It wasn’t. Dragon could be a financial idiot all he wants, and it would never be Crocodile’s responsibility to fix it. It was weak. A sign of care. Love. Not that he’d ever admit it aloud. But. Well. Garp did say showing love was easier than talking about it.
Not that that ever stopped the idiot from talking about it for hours on end.
--
How, Crocodile ended up spending so much time with Dragon’s revolution was something he didn’t even know. But. Well, the people weren’t horrible. Ivankov was nice. Weird, but nice. Dragon was more and more tolerable to be around. It was nice. He was a pirate. He was a warlord, and honestly, the whole mess that had brought was not something Crocodile looked to repeat. Seriously. Why was the immediate assumption betrayal? Has Crocodile not shown he’s above that?
Still. When he wasn’t off pirating, getting funding for Dragon’s money-drain of a revolution, he did like to hang around the place. It was. Homey.
And no one talked about Whitebeard here.
Today though. Today was, weird. Crocodile rarely announced himself, didn’t see the point of it. He just walked in, and went to Dragon. Dragon never complained so, the behaviour remained but. Today? Today Crocodile walked into Dragon’s office, and found Dragon crying on the floor. Which. Um.
Honestly? He wanted to go get Ivankov, make him deal with it. But. Dragon sees him, and Crocodile has no choice but to close the door and walk over to him. Finding more than one empty bottle behind Dragon’s desk. And one on it’s way to being empty.
Eesh. What happened?
“Someone die?” Crocodile asks, kneeling across from Dragon.
“They. O’Hara. They. A Buster Call was called on O’Hara. Everything is gone. Everyone is dead.”
...Oh.
Uh.
Dragon cries, curling into a ball, crying and crying. Sobbing. “Mom. Mom’s. Everything.” Whatever Dragon tried to say, came out in small, broken chunks. And. Crocodile’s never comforted someone before but. Uh?
Crocodile, awkwardly, moves closer, and pulls Dragon into a hug. One he immediately returns, and cries into Crocodile’s vest. Which, cost twice as much as he sends to Dragon a year. But, it was fine. He can clean it. Later. He feels awkward, as he rubs Dragon’s back. Consoles him. Best he can. The longer they stay like that, the more Dragon talks. More he explains.
Charlie had family on O’Hara. There were people who knew her. There was history there. People who loved her. People she had loved. Her friends. Family. People she had left for Garp. To follow him because she loved him. Everything was there.
And now there was nothing.
They only had her memory.
Only three people left to remember her.
Crocodile just keeps consoling him. Keeps rubbing his back. Until Dragon was all cried out.
--
"Boss?" Crocodile turns his head slightly to the side, to Daz. "Why’re you crying?" Crocodile reaches up and touches his face, finding it wet.
“We’re leaving.” Crocodile declares, walking off to his room. Ignoring everyone. Ignoring his tears. It was just because Dragon was crying so much.
“Didn’t we just get here?” Someone questions before Crocodile shut the door. Upon being alone, feeling the ship start to move, Crocodile sinks himself into sand, letting himself pile up, and just. Exist. Being sand was easier, sometimes. There weren’t emotions. No stupid bodily reactions. He could just be. And not worry about image or reputation. Or crying because Dragon was a big ass crybaby. Just like his dumbass dad.
--
“Boss, not questioning you, but. Is this the best idea?” Daz backs off with a glare, holding his hands up and walking off.
Ever since he became a pirate, ever since he got a crew on the Grand Line, ever since he fucking existed here. Everyone. Everyone. Kept saying the same stupid. Stupid shitty bullshit. It was like a fucking curse. Without a doubt, anytime Crocodile was just relaxing, just existing on any stupid island in this chain, Whitebeard was brought up. Whitebeard for some fucking reason got brought up time and time and time and time again. No matter where they were. No matter who was in the bar. They talked. They talked and always.
Always.
Brought up Whitebeard’s stupid family, stupid devotion, stupid resolve to never abandoning them. To never leaving them. To always go for his sons. No one is left behind. No one is left alone. Whitebeard would go through hell itself for them.
So fucking what.
The dumbass wanted to be a parent. That’s just what a parent does. There’s nothing special or noteworthy about it! Why does Whitebeard act like he’s the fucking best for doing the bare fucking minimum?
Why does he keep living, his memory keep living, when Charlie is dead, her memory fading fast.
It’s been seven years. Unrelenting. Constant. He’s done. He’s so fucking done. Whitebeard’s a pirate, like everyone else, he’d ditch them all for his own life if it came down to it. He always would. Pirates were selfish. People replaceable. Family only ever made someone weak.
It hurt. It always hurt. He ignored it. He did. Pushed the pain down. Tried not to listen to it. Ignored the childish part of himself. The part that wanted to know why Edward left him. Left him to Garp. Was he that unloveable? Just a perfect copy of Xebec that Edward wanted to ignore? Pretend never existed and wished died? Garp never said how he reacted when he was told of Crocodile. Was he upset? Did he want Crocodile dead? Is that why he-
Pirates didn’t care about anyone but themselves. Every person on a crew was replaceable. One dies, a dozen more could be found easily. Caring was weak. Caring got people killed. It was useless. Stupid. Unneeded.
Emotions were stupid.
Emotions were weak.
--
“What happened?”
“It’s, better if you don’t know.”
Crocodile keeps his eyes shut. Wanting to ignore the voices. Ignore the ringing in he head. The pulsing pain from his wrist. Stump.
Was he an idiot? Yes. Did he want to hear it? No.
So. He’s not waking up until Daz and Dragon leave. He doesn’t want to be lectured. He thinks he might actually kill Dragon if he tries.
“You brought him here missing a hand, and you want to not tell us how it happened?”
“Uh. Yeah. That sums it up.” Ok. Daz is officially Crocodile’s favourite person. He will never betray or replace him.
“Well!” Oh fucking hells. “If that’s all decided! Both of you should skedaddle! Mmmfufufufu, let dear Mommy look after Croco-boy.”
Why didn’t Whitebeard kill him? Can he die from his injuries? Please.
A door is slammed, immediately followed by, “I know you’re awake you blundering buffoon.”
Rude. But. Ugh. Crocodile opens his eyes, squinting at Ivankov, who’d taken a seat next to his bed. “What do you want.” He doubts Ivankov wants anything good. He probably knows what happened, and is going to ask for something on his silence. It would, inevitably, get back to Dragon. The Whitebeard pirates were stupid gossips, the papers would have the story eventually. But Crocodile can be far away from here when Dragon learns of the height of his stupidity.
“Why in all the seas, would you do that?” Ivankov asks, crossing a leg over the other and just. Looking disappointed.
“You’re not my mom.” He’s pretty sure they’re the same age. Or. Close enough. “Why do you care.”
Ivankov sighs, “Because, this is unlike you. I’ve never known you to let your emotions lead you. So. Why would you attack Whitebeard? You can’t have actually thought you would win.”
...He really. Really hates, that Ivankov’s disappointed tone is working. Crocodile sighs heavily, staring at the ceiling. Pretending he doesn’t have an audience for this. “I was angry. I wasn’t thinking. I don’t know if I did think I could win or not, or. Just needed to do something, and Whitebeard was just the closest bastard.” That was half a lie. He did, actually, think he could win. Because he was his father’s son, and. Hadn’t he seen Xebec kick that bastard’s ass enough? Apparently not. And, calmer, humbled, he can admit he was a fucking idiot. Not aloud but.
“Ok. And hiding from Dragon?”
“I will stab him if he lectures me.” Crocodile admits with zero hesitation.
Ivankov bursts into laughter with that, and promptly declares that Crocodile can recover on his island, to prevent their illustrious revolutionary head from meeting a quick end.
Crocodile would’ve almost taken the lecture. Honestly.
--
“You know.” Crocodile wants to stab him. If they weren’t in Marineford, deep in the base, with zero escape routes, he absolutely would. But. Unfortunately. Self preservation won out. “If you wanted Whitebeard beaten blue, you could’ve just called me. You’d still have your hand.” Crocodile just glares at Garp. He absolutely did not want to have this conversation. No way.
Then again. It’s. Better than the conversation he thought Garp wanted to have when he had his stupid lieutenant grab Crocodile.
Because. Yeah. Crocodile would rather talk about his lack of hand, than address the baby he chucked at Garp. “I could not. I don’t have or want your number.”
Garp laughs at that for a few seconds, “Bah! You’re a smart one, you could’ve figured something out.”
Well. Probably. But Crocodile wanted to avoid this.
“I left him alone when you were a kid cause you didn’t seem to care. What was with the sudden change?”
Oh they. They were absolutely not doing this. Nope. Crocodile would rather address the baby. He’s not about get therapy from fucking Garp in Marine Headquarters. Absolutely not.
“We’re done with that. It’s harder to ignore when it’s in your face constantly. And that’s it.” Garp holds his hands up in mock surrender. Crocodile, highly doubts, he will actually drop it. Unfortunately.
“So, what was with the kid?”
...Ok. Nevermind. He doesn’t want to talk about this either. Crocodile sighs and slumps back in his chair. He can’t, avoid, the conversation. Unfortunately. “It’s Dragon’s. I was stupid, it resulted in that. And I don’t want to hear any more about the kid. It’s your problem, not mine.”
“Wait. Wait.” Crocodile covers his eyes with his hand as Garp started cackling. “He’s Dragon’s? Dragon gave me a grandson? Are you sure?”
“Unfortunately.” Garp keeps laughing. Cackling.
Honestly, Crocodile would feel bad for Dragon, except he’s also witnessed how horrible he is with, any sort of romance. Experienced it first hand too. And. Yeah. The laughing was, probably fair. Ivankov would probably also laugh. Which is why Crocodile is never telling him. Ivankov already knew too much for Crocodile’s tastes.
“So.” Crocodile groans, slouching in his chair. Garp ignores his dramatics, “Why’d it suddenly piss you off? Or was it just, seven years too many?” Crocodile stays silent, crossing his arms and glaring at Garp’s desk. He is, unfortunately, fully aware, that if he tries to leave Garp will just tackle and sit on him. So, petulance it is. “Did it piss you off? Or did it just hurt? Rocks was like that, he would get upset, and immediately turn it to rage.”
Oh. Great. He was like his father. Great. Was that all? Can he go now? He’s like his father, disappointment for Garp, happy days for Crocodile. That’s the end of this, right?
Crocodile glances up, hoping this was going to be the end, but. No. Ugh. Garp wasn’t even looking at him, was facing the wall to the right, eating crackers and reclining in his chair. Casual as can be. But also still definitely going to tackle Crocodile if he tries to run away. Dammit.
“I know, O’Hara went down, around that time. Did Dragon tell-”
“I said I’m done with this.” Crocodile snaps, glaring at Garp and pushing himself to stand. “I’m not a child anymore.”
Garp looks at him, with a far too knowing expression, merely humming, and then putting his feet on his desk, facing the wall again without another word. It was an out. A dismissal. Concession. He wouldn’t do anything if Crocodile left, but. If Crocodile didn’t want to leave, he wouldn’t drag attention to it. Would just keep going. And there was a second, where he actually debates staying.
Crocodile hates himself for it.
He doesn’t need fucking therapy.