Archive of Our Own

“Unit 1813, please respond.”

“Go ahead, dispatch.”

“We’ve got a potential stabbing, an active labor, a few cases of smoke inhalation, and what looks like appendicitis at a home fire in Mayfair. Firefighters have made sure the fires have been put out and we’ve got a few units on the scene as well, but they’re requesting additional back up. Family on sight is giving them problems.”

“What’s the address?”

As Harriet continued driving the ambulance, listening to dispatch relay the address of the emergency, she glanced towards her partner Pete, an older and more seasoned paramedic, let out a loud laugh. Chuckling to himself, Pete told dispatch they were on route and were only a few minutes out.

Noticing her confusion, Pete only chuckled more. “Don’t worry. I’ve been to this address before.” 

“You’ve been there before?” Harriet asked, still concerned. 

“It’s the Bridgerton family’s address. Had a few calls to their home in my career. They're a nice bunch,” Pete explained. “And given the situation, my guess is they had another game night.” 

Now, Harriet was really confused. She vaguely recalled the last name.

“Game night?” she asked, clarifying.

“Every once in a while they have a family game night, which usually ends in some level of chaos. With injuries to match,” Pete continued. “Eight kids. All a bunch of high achievers and also incredibly competitive. Do not get into an argument with any of them. In fact, don’t talk to any of them when we get there. Two of them are solicitors, and another one used to be, and a fourth one is training to be. So, I’ll do the talking.”

As they pulled up at the scene, Harriet was taken aback by the amount of ambulances parked in front of a grand, white stucco home with pillars and a painted black metal fence in front, with a beautifully maintained garden of rose bushes outfront. Firefighters were coming in and out of the front door, which had soft trails of gray smoke escaping out from. They’re were two police cars parked in front as well, the lights of the cop cars along with the ambulances lit the home in blue hue. There was a noticeable crowd of people both watching from across the street as well as a small cluster by some of the ambulances, all of whom appeared to be arguing with one another.

“This was because of a game?” Harriet asked, stunned. 

“Yep,” Pete told her as he turned off the engine and hopped out of the ambulance. 

Making their way towards the home, and the crowd of arguing adults, they passed an elegantly dressed, yet soaking wet, woman sitting on the front steps of the home, unperturbed by the firefighters moving up and down the stairs next to her.

“Evening Mrs. Bridgerton,” Pete nodded. “How have you been?”

As he spoke, Mrs. Bridgerton held up a finger as she took a long swing from the wine bottle held in her hand, chugging a few gulps before pointing her thumb towards the other parked ambulances. A cigarette was burning between her pointer and middle finger. Harriet noticed that while she was soaked to the bone, she had no ash or soot on her. Let alone blood on her anywhere.

“There all over there,” Mrs. Bridgerton told them once she was finished drinking.

“Another game night?” he asked, knowingly.

Mrs. Bridgerton nodded sullenly, taking a drag of the cigarette before speaking. She didn’t even look up at them, just continued giving a thousand yard stare to the rose bushes in front of her. 

“Unfortunately.”

Receiving all the information they needed (and were going to get) Pete hoisted the large medical kit higher over his shoulder and made his way towards the group of arguing adults.

“This happens every other year?” Harriet said slowly, still shocked as she looked around the scene.

“Roughly. We’ve been getting calls here because of the Bridgerton Game Nights since the late seventies. You should have seen the father and his siblings when they lived here,” Pete whistled as he recalled that time. “They flooded the entire downstairs one year and blew up a microwave another time. This lot just seems worse because there's more of them.” 

As they got closer, Harriet was able to make out some of the arguing coming from the crowd. A group who all looked to be disheveled and soaking wet. Some even had blood on their clothes. Half the group was yelling at each other, while the others were silently observing. Looking, frankly, embarrassed and exasperated by what was happening in front of them.

“I cannot believe you would accuse my wife of faking contractions !” 

“Benedict, please get in the ambulance.” 

“Who has eyes on Hyacinth?!”

“ She stabbed my husband, Anthony !”

“Daphne, I’m fine. Now get in or we leave without you.” 

“At least”– cough cough –“At least I didn’t start a fire !” 

“Eloise, be quiet and let the paramedics help you!” 

“Who's driving Mum to the hospital?!”

“Where the hell is Hyacinth ?!” 

“Like I said,” Pete told her. “Let me do the talking.”

| Fourteen Hours Earlier |

BSSG Chat

Penelope: Good morning my fellow spouses. Are we ready for tonight? 🙂

Kate: Yes 😀😀😀

Simon: Not particularly, no.

Sophie: I guess.

Sophie: Ben and I may be late tonight. Our sitter canceled at the last minute, so Posy is going to watch Charlie after she gets off work. 

Phillip: Eloise made it sound like a lot of fun so I’m excited to see how this goes.

Michael: Yeah, same here.

Simon: …

Penelope: Well, we’re excited to have you guys. ☺️☺️☺️☺️

Kate: You guys are going to get crushed 😈😈

The Sane-y Bunch

Penelope: Before anyone asks, yes I have the first aid kit. 

Penelope: I got the biggest one I could find.

Penelope: Like almost professional grade.

Simon: Oh thank Christ.

Sophie: Is Violet really planning to stay for this? I thought she was going on a spa retreat with Agatha?

Simon: Canceled. Apparently the place flooded due to a burst pipe, so they had to close. Agatha’s trying to reschedule them somewhere else but at this point all they can get is a post-game night retreat next weekend.

Penelope: Lucky them.

Penelope: Alright. We all know the plan.

Penelope: Sophie you're on Violet watch tonight. The last thing we need is to call an ambulance for alcohol poisoning. She’ll be too busy fretting over your pregnancy to focus on drinking, and that way you don’t need to be on your feet too much or get involved in the game. We can keep you both in the lounge.

Sophie: 👍 That sounds absolutely fine to me.

Sophie: As much as I love Ben. I do not enjoy watching the man he becomes when game night happens. 

Penelope: I’ve got team pairings I think will work, so we just need to make sure they happen. Especially Kate and Anthony. They have to be paired together or God help us if they are on opposing teams. 

Simon: As much as I hate when they team up, they are better managed when they’re together then they are apart. 

Sophie: I do feel kinda bad for Phillip and Michael. They seem so excited. I really don’t think it's fair for us to not warn them.

Simon: Sophie, there is nothing you can do for them. The only way they will understand the hell that is about to break out tonight is by experiencing it first hand. 

Simon: WE all had to experience it blind ourselves. 

Penelope: You know they would never believe us if we tried to explain it.

Sophie: Still. I did warn Phillip that Eloise can get a little intense when Game Night happens. 

Penelope: I told him not to let her have any sugar before she gets there. 

“Pen! Have you seen my bag for tonight?”

“No!” Penelope yelled back, staring down at said missing bag.

The small plastic bag was filled with items that her husband had bought off Amazon to help him cheat at tonight’s game. How? Penelope had no idea, but she was currently looking at a small bag filled with items found in a Cluedo board game box, along with a packet of invisible ink pens.

He’d initially hidden the bag (and quite stupidly) under their bed, after excitedly informing her about how he planned to cheat and finally win at Game Night. Penelope had had to plan it perfectly how’d she’d get the items before Colin had enough time to replace them. 

Stashing the items into her Mom’s old, Valentino bag, one she’d given Penelope after Phillipa let a lipstick melt in it, knowing full well Colin would not dare go through her mother’s stuff after the last time he’d done so and found items he’d never needed to find in her mother’s possession, Penelope then shoved the bag deep into the back of the hallway closet as her husband came into the room. 

“I could have sworn I left it in our room,” he told her.

Penelope plastered the sweetest, most sympathetic smile she could as she watched him. “Are you sure you didn’t leave it where your siblings could see it?”

Colin cursed. “You don’t think Gregory took it?” 

“I don’t know,” Penelope shrugged, then faked a gasp, eyes wide with alarm. “You don’t think he’s in cahoots with Anthony?”

“You’re right,” Colin told her, falling for it. “He’s always been a stickler for doing what Anthony wants.” 

“You know, we should probably make sure they don’t team up tonight. I was thinking we do couple pairings,” Penelope suggested. “If he and Kate are together they’ll be too busy arguing to focus on winning.”

“You. Are. Brilliant,” Colin told her, coming over and placing his hands on her shoulders before kissing her on the forehead. “I love you. And I love when you get manipulative.” 

Oh, you have no idea how manipulative I can be, babe , Penelope thought to herself as she continued to smile sweetly at her husband. 

Familia Bridgerton Group Chat

Colin: All right Gregory made his pick. 

Colin: It’s Cluedo

“Daddy?” 

Phillip looked up and found his daughter standing in the doorway of his greenhouse. Amanda, only nine years old, was still dressed in her pjs. He let out an exhausted sigh, it was now almost one in the afternoon and Marina was going to be here in an hour to pick the twins up for the weekend. 

“What is it Amanda?” he asked as he continued misting his orchids.

“Mama Eloise has gone crazy ,” Amanda replied, dragging out the last word in an over the top tone. 

“It’s she always crazy?” Phillip teasingly returned, smiling fondly. 

Amanda thought it over for a second. “Well, yeah, but this time she’s gone really crazy.” 

Phillip frowned. That did not sound good.

Putting the spray bottle down, Phillip exited the greenhouse, Amanda following close behind, and made his way back into the house. Which was when he entered the home and found Eloise pacing through the halls, muttering to herself. Held in her hand was a bag of jelly babies that she was currently munching on. 

“–complete and utter incompetent ass,” he heard her say to herself as she popped another candy in her mouth and aggressively chewed it. 

“Good morning, Eloise,” Phillip said with forced cheer as he tried to hide the concern in his voice, slowly approaching his wife like she was suddenly a wild animal. When she began stress eating, it was never a good sign. 

Eloise’s head snapped up towards him. 

“There you are!” she said, suddenly charging at him, making Phillip quickly take a step back in surprise. “What’s your experience with Cluedo?”

“I’m sorry?” 

“Cluedo,” Eloise repeated. “You’ve played Cluedo before, yes?”

“Um…yes,” Phillip told her, hesitantly. It had been a few years, but he’d certainly played the murder mystery board game before.

“And you're good at it?” Eloise asked next.

“I mean, I’ve only played it a few times. It’s been a while since I last played it,” he answered. 

“Damn it,” Eloise cursed, turning away from him. “That ass. I knew it. I knew he would try to do this.”

“Do what?” Phillip asked. “Who are we talking about?”

“Gregory. It’s Gregory’s turn to pick the game and he chose Cluedo,” Eloise told him, furiously. “The little ass picked the one game he knew I hated.” 

Phillip’s frown deepened. “Don’t you love mystery novels?” he asked her. He had an entire shelf worth of them now in the library upstairs. 

“That’s different,” she snapped, as if it should be obvious to him his error. 

“Okay,” Phillip said slowly, watching Eloise continue to pace back and forth through the hallway, until he stepped in front of her and placed his hands on her shoulders. “Honey, are you alright?”

Eloise frowned. “Of course I am. Why wouldn’t I?”

“Well, you seem…stressed,” he told her.

But his wife only rolled her eyes. “It’s fine, Phillip, you obviously don’t understand the importance of game night.” 

“I don’t?” he asked her. 

“Yes,” Eloise replied with an exasperated sigh. 

🐝 The Children Group Chat 🐝

Violet: Good morning, children ✨💗✨💗

Violet: I hope you are all ready to be on your best behavior tonight. Before you all arrive tonight. I wanted to make sure you all remembered the rules. 

Anthony: Of course, mother.

Violet: Would you all like to remind me what they are?

Anthony: No cheating, no weapons, no cursing, no threatening family members or significant others and no emotional manipulation or targeted insults.

Anthony: And especially no cheating.

Eloise: Love how you of all people feel the need to remind us about the no cheating rule. 

Anthony: Because I cheat???

Eloise: YES

Eloise: All the time!!

Violet: …

Violet: I will see you all tonight.

“Honey, did you really need to bring this much food?” Simon asked as he placed the stack of baking trays he’d been made to carry down.

Every available space in the kitchen at Number 5 was now covered in baking trays and containers Daphne had brought from their house. It was enough to feed a small army. 

“We could have just ordered pizza,” he added.

The glare his wife gave him over her shoulder was enough for Simon to be reminded that silence was the best option for him right now, as he watched Daphne continue to unpack the food and turn on the oven.

“Oh, Daphne,” Violet awkwardly laughed as she walked into her kitchen and saw the sight before her. Her pale blue eyes were wide with concern. “My…you’ve brought so much… food .”

“Well, whatever is left over you can save Mum,” Daphne told her as she continued preparing. “Everything is really good as leftovers.” 

Violet gave Simon a panicked look, but he only shook his head at her. A warning that Daphne was in no mood right now to be critiqued or questioned. 

“I’ve got a few more things I need to get out of the car. Be right back,” Daphne told them cheerfully as she left the room and headed back outside. 

Once she was gone, Violet looked towards him and asked. 

“How long has she been baking?”

“Since um…two nights ago,” Simon told her, having had to deal with his wife’s stress cooking as today’s game night got closer and closer. He’d woken up at two in the morning to find her baking a croquembouche, a bloody croquembouche , in their kitchen while she muttered away about how she was definitely going to win game night this time. 

“Well, she unfortunately gets stress baking from me,” Violet informed him, apologetically. 

THE Children Group Chat

Hyacinth: Alright, we placing bets on tonight or not??

Francesca: On who??? Ourselves?? We all ALWAYS vote for ourselves every time this question is brought up.

Colin: Tbh I think Kate might have a chance this year. We all know she spends most of her time plotting how to kill Anthony, she’s probably an expert at it by now.

Anthony: You win Cluedo by process of elimination not whether or not you know how to kill someone.

Colin: So you agree? That Kate knows how to end your life?

Anthony: I’m not dignifying that with a response.

Colin: You literally just responded to my question 😮‍💨

Benedict: I’m calling dibs on being partnered with my wife tonight 🥰

Eloise: Omg we get it Benedict. You're whipped. 

Benedict: 🖕

Hyacinth: You ASS. You said I could be partnered with Sophie this time!!

Benedict: I have no recollection of ever having that conversation. 

“I’m just saying, I don’t think it’s really that big of a deal.”

“Honey, I love you, but I’m starting to think you just don’t understand how important it is that we win tonight.”

“Why? So you can laud it over your siblings that you’re better than them at Cluedo?”

“Yes.”

Sophie couldn't hold back the eye roll she gave her husband, but still accepted his hand as he helped her up the short staircase leading to Number 5. The closer she got to her due date, the more her round stomach and swollen ankles slowed her down, and stairs in particular had become quite cumbersome in recent weeks

“Benedict, it’s a board game. You’re supposed to have fun, not fight your siblings to the death like you're in the Colosseum,” she told her husband as he rapped his knuckles on the front door, watching as he bounced around in a manner that looked as though he desperately needed to use the restroom.

“Don’t you remember Pictionary?” he asked, smiling dreamily at her. 

Ah, yes, the Pictionary Incident. She'd conveniently blocked it from her memory given everything that had happened that night.

She'd been dating Benedict for a year when she got invited to her first Bridgerton Game Night. Right after everything with her stepmother finally hit the fan, culminating in her spending three days in jail before Benedict and his mother had found her and got her released. They'd helped her file a lawsuit against her stepmother for the fraud and harassment, but that very lawsuit had left her overwhelmed and unable to sleep. Add to it Benedict yelling at her for her quote, “abysmal” drawing skills and casting her aside in exchange for teaming up with Kate, she’d come to believe Benedict wanted nothing to do with her. 

And then Anthony and Colin purposefully dropped a mini keg on Benedict’s hand while she’d been wiping tears away in the bathroom, almost costing him his career (and the ability to use his right hand), and Sophie had been so exasperated by that point she ended up punching Anthony in the face hard enough to give him a black eye and slapping Colin. 

She’d been mortified by her actions. Sophie had thought she’d never be able to face his family again after what happened, but Benedict thought otherwise. As did his siblings, who had all lauded her as a hero for what she'd done. It had still taken Kate and Simon, along with Penelope, to convince her they weren't upset with her. 

Benedict proposed to her twice in the aftermath. First time after he woke up the next day and was still a little groggy from the morphine, which had led to the famous “soap bucket my finance” text that her in-laws still teased her about, and the second time after he’d been discharged and they had gotten back to the apartment. When he’d finally been able to give her the ring he’d been hiding in their side table. 

“You were so hot that night. Not that you aren’t always but God, when you sucker punched Anthony, I swore I could hear a choir going,” Benedict continued. 

She raised a brow up at him, unimpressed. “Honey, that might have been the morphine the paramedics gave you. Or the pain from having your hand crushed.”

“Or maybe you are just a literal angel,” Benedict replied, swooping down to give her a quick kiss before she could retort. And right as the front door finally opened. 

The sight of her mother-in-law, Violet Bridgerton, wine glass in hand, and a pained, forced smile on her face as she opened the door for them, was the first cause of concern for Sophie. It didn’t do anything for the mounting worry she felt in the pit of her stomach. That she’d had for the past two weeks, since the idea of tonight's game night had been suggested in the main family group chat.  

“Evening, mother. You look as lovely as ever,” Benedict said excitedly, greeting his mother with a kiss on the cheek before quickly bypassing her and throwing his coat off. Tossing it over the staircase railing as he passed by it and went straight into the living room.

A room where arguing could already be heard already coming from. 

Violet blinked as her son disappeared, turning to Sophie before sighing, giving her a tired smile. “How are you Sophie?”

“Well,” Sophie told her as she entered the Bridgerton family home, giving her mother-in-law a quick side hug (given her pregnant stomach made hugging tricky at the moment). “All good?”

“They are still deciding teams,” Violet told her flatly. “It’s been an hour.” 

“Sophie, come on!” Benedict called out from the living room. “You’re going to be on my team!” 

“Great,” Sophie commented flatly. There went her plan of staying out of the conflict. 

At least she’d be able to reign him in if they were on the same side, and things started to get out of hand. 

Violet, meanwhile, downed what remained of her half full glass of wine. “Good luck. I’ll be in the lounge watching Love Island if you need me. Do not find a need for me.” 

She then disappeared into the room across from the one all of her children were in, closing the door and returning to her marathon of reality TV in the hopes of distracting her from the noise which was her insane children.

Sophie sighed, pulling off her coat and hanging it up (along with Benedict’s) in the front hall closet, before making her way to the living room. Which was where she found her fellow Bridgerton spouses looking exhausted (Penelope) and exasperated (Simon), and a very alarmed looking Michael and Phillip. Kate, it turned out, was one of the loudest arguing voices at the moment.

Benedict, seeing her, patted the space next to him on the couch like an excitable golden retriever. He’d already grabbed another pillow to support her back. And thankfully, Sophie would be next to Francesca and Michael, meaning she wouldn’t have someone screaming in her ear for most of the night. 

Penelope flashed her an apologetic smile as she passed by, as Kate and Anthony continued to argue over being on a team together. From what she quickly gathered, the pair had unfortunately ended up on opposing teams. Kate with Gregory and Anthony with Hyacinth. And neither would agree to changing. 

“Alright, can we please just play the game!” Simon shouted suddenly, silencing the pair and the room. He blinked, realizing how snappish he’d sounded as everyone stared at him, then took a deep breath, saying in a calmer and quieter tone. “Now that Benedict and Sophie are here, we have everyone. Shouldn't we just start?” 

“Let’s. Please,” Phillip added, gently.

It was going to be a long night. 

| 20 Minutes Later |

Hyacinth Bridgerton to The Mothership

Hyacinth: Mother. I am texting you this because I wanted to make sure you knew that Gregory is a punk ass liar and anything he tells you or texts you tonight is nothing but a malicious attempt at slandering my name.

Gregory Bridgerton to Mama

Gregory: Hyacinth is the one who lost your diamond earrings last month. She wore them out to go clubbing and then lost them in Regent’s Park when she went skinny dipping with Gareth while drunk. 

Gregory: I should clarify that at no point did Gareth make her do any of this. Nor did he get in the pond with her. I’m also pretty sure it's the reason she caught a norovirus. 

Gregory: Also, do we have any antacids in the house? My stomach is killing me.

| Half an Hour Later |

The Sane-y Bunch

Sophie: And here I thought tonight wouldn’t be so bad 🙃🙃

Penelope: Literal clown behavior.

Simon: 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡 

Agatha Danbury to Violet Bridgerton

Agatha: How goes it with the chaos octonary?

Violet: Bickering and threats mainly, but the night is still young.

Agatha: What glass of wine are you on?

Violet: My fourth but I’m prepared to shift to hard liquor if they don’t stop yelling profanities at each other as if I’m not home right now. 

| One Hour Later |

“You are the biggest liar on the face of the earth!” 

“Well, at least I didn’t crash Mum’s car when I was fourteen!” Hyacinth yelled back.

“That was you?” Anthony shouted at Eloise, who only rolled her eyes and slumped back against the couch.

Putting his head in his hand, rubbing a hand over his face as he rested his elbow on the arm of the sofa, Simon desperately tried to think calm, relaxing thoughts before he finally snapped and went on a killing spree. If he didn’t, his in-laws were going to put him in the ground. Or he would put them all in the ground. It had been almost an hour of arguing, with no one being able to roll the dice or move they’re spots until the debates that had broken out had been resolved. 

Then, his phone vibrated in his back pocket. Simon pulled it out, hoping it was a call from work so he could get out of here.

It wasn’t.

Spouses (Minus Kate because WTF Is she on something???) 

Michael: Hey, Michael here. 

Michael: What the fuck is going on?

Penelope: Game night 😊

Penelope: And to answer your question. No Kate isn’t on anything.

Michael: I’m beginning to see that.

Michael: Again.

Michael: What the fuck???

Michael: Is this normal???? Because I don’t think I’ve ever seen Francesca this mean spirited. 

Michael: I didn’t even think she could be mean.

Sophie: Yes. This is normal.

Penelope: Unfortunately, yes.

Sophie: Does someone want to check on Phillip? He looks ill.

Penelope: He looks catatonic.

Simon: I think he’s a lost cause.

Sparing a glance towards his brother-in-law, Simon found Phillip staring straight ahead, looking stunned, with his hands clasped together on his lap, back stiff and straight as a board as he sat in a perpetual state of silent shock. Ever since Eloise had threatened to throw weedkiller on his ghost orchids. All because he dared to second guess her about the dagger being the murder weapon. He’d been sitting there like that for the past twenty minutes, since the threat had been made. The constant buzzing of his phone in his pocket, vibrating from each text it received, appeared to do nothing in snapping his attention back to reality.

“It’s Ms. Scarlet,” Benedict repeated for the sixteenth time, even louder than the last time he said it. 

“No it isn’t!” Kate (who it should be noted was currently Ms. Scarlet with Gregory) yelled back. Even louder than the last time she had yelled it. 

“Yes, it is,” Benedict snapped back. 

“I think Benedict’s right,” Sophie calmly said, from where she sat next to her husband.

“Sophie, I love you, but no one asked for your ditzy opinion,” Kate shot at her. 

Sophie’s dark blonde brows shot up to her hairline as she stared, stunned, at her sister-in-law and close friend's remark. 

“Ditzy?”

“Don’t call my wife a ditz,” Benedict ordered loudly. 

“Hey, hey ! Don’t yell at my wife!” Anthony shot back, pointing a finger at his brother from where he was sitting on the sofa chair next to his brother. His finger hovering inches away from his brother’s face.

Benedict only slapped his hand away. “Don’t point your finger at me Anthony. You’re not my father.”

For the briefest of moments, Simon was certain that Anthony was capable of shooting laser beams from his eyes with the glare his friend shot his younger brother. The vein in his forehead was certainly bulging right now and he looked ready to lecture Benedict about respecting your elders (i.e. elder brothers ), which would have gone on for the next twenty minutes if he wasn’t stopped, but Sophie interrupted them both before he could. 

“I think–” she announced loudly, moving to push herself up from her seated position. “–I’m going to get some water. Honey, can you help me up?”

Benedict was on his feet in seconds, having forgotten all about his brother as he moved to help his wife.  Offering out his hands for her to take and pulling her up to her feet once she’d grabbed them, and moving one hand behind her back to help support her while she found her balance again. Simon had to give it to Sophie. She was pretty good at knowing when and what to say to diffuse an argument between the siblings. 

“I’ll go with you,” Penelope said, rising to her feet as well. “I need to refill my glass.”

“Here too,” Simon quickly commented, jumping up to follow and snatching his bourbon glass off the coffee table. 

“I think I need another beer,” Michael announced. “Francesca, you want something?”

“Not now,” Francesca snappishly replied over her shoulder, before returning to her argument with Colin. They’d been arguing for the past fifteen minutes over whether or not his notepad had invisible ink on it. She'd apparently seen him flashing a UV flight over it. As had Daphne. 

“Alright then,” Michael said to no one in particular, before turning to Phillip, grabbing his elbow and pulling the man up to his feet. “Come on, Phil. Let’s get you a drink.”

“Sure,” Phillip replied weakly, still looking rather out of it. 

Dragging him to his feet, Michael subsequently was the one to pull Phillip along behind him as the spouses all made a quick exit and headed into the kitchen. They found Violet in the middle of pouring herself another very large glass of red wine, which was empty by the time she finished pouring. 

“How goes the game?” she asked them as they all entered. 

“No injuries yet. We’re still at the sin list period of the night,” Penelope told her. “Eloise was the one who crashed your car and Anthony’s the one who washed all your passports before your Bali trip that one time. I also want to make sure you knew it was Colin who accidentally killed Daphne’s hamster. Not Benedict. That didn’t come up tonight but I wanted to make sure you knew.”

“Oh, I know about the hamster,” Violet told her before taking a long sip of her wine. “Colin admitted to it during the Pictionary Incident.”

“Is there by chance any more wine?” Penelope asked. 

Violet lifted the empty wine bottle. “This,” she started, which was when they all noticed how flushed her face was. “Was the last bottle.” She then studied the bottle for a few seconds, lips pursed as she stared down the hole and into the bottle. “I should probably go get more.”

“I can drive you,” Simon offered quickly, before the other. 

“I think I’m going to walk to the store actually,” she announced to them. “That way I can stay out of here longer.”

Simon visibly deflated. There went his only escape, even if it meant abandoning the others. He was forced to watch as Violet left the room and headed towards the front door. 

“I’m going out!” her voice called out to her children, which was quickly followed by the front door slamming before any of them could reply back. 

Not that they did. 

“Well, this is turning into a wonderful evening,” Penelope commented.

Simon took a seat at the kitchen table, with the others following. Michael, after grabbing another beer from the fridge, pulled out a chair for Sophie, who slowly lowered herself down, one hand over her round stomach and the other clutching the chair as she slowly sunk down, before he took a seat next to her. Penelope made sure to get both Sophie and Phillip a glass of water before taking a seat next to Simon on the opposite side. 

“So, what’s the plan?” she asked the group. All of whom gave her varying looks of discomfort or awkwardness back. “What? We all know this needs to end before it gets out of hand.”

“Sophie, you don’t think there is a chance Benedict Jr could come a little early?” Michael suggested. 

“Michael, I can’t just make myself go into labor,” Sophie told him. 

“Well, if you fake contractions that will at least get you and Benedict outta here and he looks prepared to strangle Anthony right now,” he informed her. 

Sophie only ignored him, shaking her head as she turned towards the still catatonic Phillip. 

“Phillip, are you alright?” she asked him. 

“She threatened my orchids,” Phillip muttered slowly. 

“Yes. We all heard,” Sophie responded worriedly. 

“My orchids. My rare dendrophylax lindenii ghost orchids. Do you know how long they took to grow ?” Phillip looked at her fearfully. “Months. It took me months to grow them. I even had to get permission to grow them in the first place.”

Sophie, not the expert on rare plants the way Phillip, with his literal doctorate in botany, was, only nodded along politely, gently and supportively patting his shoulder. Simon pulled out his flask from his back pocket and offered it to Phillip, who took it with shaky hands and took a quick sip, before passing it back to him.

“So, let me get this straight,” Michael said to them. “This is normal for a Bridgerton family game night?”

“Yes,” Simon, Sophie, and Penelope all said back in unison. 

“Jesus Christ,” the Scotsman muttered, shaking his head in disbelief as he leaned back in his chair. Taking a moment to think, then asking. “Why are they like this?”

“No idea,” Sophie told him.

“I think they chose doing this over paying for family therapy sessions,” Penelope explained. 

“I think they're all just insane,” Simon said. 

“They’re an endangered species!” Phillip suddenly yelled, evidently still caught up on the threats to his prized flowers and surprising them all with his sudden outburst. “Does she even realize how much trouble she could get in?! How much trouble I could get in?!”

“There, there,” Sophie gently said, patting his shoulder as Phillip put his head in his hands. “There, there.” 

“Maybe we can get one of the babysitters to make up an emergency,” Michael suggested next, eyeing Phillip apprehensively as he spoke. A suggestion that had Simon bursting out into a brief fit of laughter, wishing he was as naive and innocent to this all as Michael was. 

“Trust me when I say, we will not be able to do that,” he informed Michael. “Agatha’s got my kids right now and she will not help us. She’d rather sit back with a glass of merlot and enjoy the outcome of tonight then willingly involve herself in this chaos. And Edwina’s babysitting for Anthony and Kate’s and I know she won’t help us either.”

“Edwina was present for the Password kerfuffle back when Anthony was trying to date her,” Penelope explained, seeing the confused look on Michael’s face. 

“Do I even want to know what happened?” Michael asked. 

“Besides it being the night Anthony and Kate finally hooked up by hate-fucking in the gazebo out back, and Gregory slashing Simon’s tires, not the worst game night we ever had,” Penelope answered with a shrug as she looked to Simon for agreement. “But it was enough for Edwina to never want to deal with it again. In any capacity.”

“You’re forgetting Hyacinth nearly falling out of the upstairs window and breaking her leg,” Simon added, impassively. 

Penelope blinked. She was silent for a moment as she recalled the minutes they’d all spent in a panic outside, watching on in horror as the youngest Bridgerton daughter, only ten at the time, clung to the railing of the balcony outside her room. If it hadn’t been for Simon racing upstairs and pulling her back over when they’d heard her all screaming, she probably would have fallen and broken something. Or worse. 

“I think I actually suppressed that part,” she remarked to him and Simon nodded back his understanding. 

“Posy might help us if I ask,” Sophie offered as she absently rubbed her hand up and down her swollen stomach. “Benedict would definitely believe something was wrong if she called.”

“The only problem with that idea, Sophie, is that you are a terrible liar,” Simon said.

Sophie gasped, appalled. “I am not.”

“Yes, you are,” Penelope told her. “Benedict might be blinded by your beauty and kindness to think you’d ever try deceiving him, but the others will see straight through it.” 

“And during Game Night of all nights, they’ll already be suspicious,” Simon said and Sophie frowned at him. “Their paranoia increases tenfold.”

Before she had a chance to respond, another voice interrupted their conversation. A voice that had them all tensing in their seats, like school children who’d just been caught misbehaving by the headmistress. 

“Oh, there you all are,” Daphne said, smiling, as she wandered into the kitchen. “I was wondering where you all had gotten too.” 

The redheaded Bridgerton daughter immediately bee-lined straight towards the oven, which had been on during this time cooking the little appetizers Daphne had made. Deviled eggs and a charcuterie board were already sitting on the kitchen island, with a smaller matching one in the living room, but Daphne (the uncontested queen of hosting) had also brought some impressive bite-size food items like little sliders and savory tarts that she’d been cooking throughout the night. 

If there was one benefit to the Bridgerton Game Nights, it at least came with good booze and Daphne’s amazing cooking. 

But Simon still eyed his wife suspiciously. When he’d left her in the living room minutes earlier, she’d been arguing fiercely with her brother and sister over an alleged invisible ink pen and now she was standing before them, the picture of perfection. Cheerful in fact.

Abnormally cheerful.

Concerningly cheerful. In the manner that Simon recognized as when his wife was going to get particularly passive-aggressive about something.  

“Hey, honey,” Simon started slowly, trying to act natural. “Need any help?”

“I’m good,” Daphne replied in her typical, cheerful bravado, but Simon could still hear the edge in her voice as she opened up the oven, pulling out the tray of food that had been cooking inside. 

“Can I just say Daphne,” Michael started, flashing his trademark charming smile. “You’ve done a wonderful job with the food tonight. Truly spectacular.”

“Oh, thank you,” Daphne replied sweetly with a nervous giggle. 

In any other situation, Simon might have been jealous of the subtle pink hue that developed on his wife’s cheeks, which only made her look even more beautiful, but if Michael’s compliments and charm kept his wife happy tonight, he was welcomed to endure it. 

“Are you sure you don’t need help?” Simon asked again, watching as his wife used a spatula to move the little pastries she’d been warming from the metal cooking tray to a small plate. 

“Yep,” was all she said.

“Daphne,” Penelope started. “I just want to say that I really did try to make sure Colin didn’t bring any invisible pens tonight. I made sure I had all of them.” 

“Oh, it’s fine Pen,” Daphne said back with her cheerful, mom voice, smiling brightly back at her sister-in-law. “What with your history with my brother, I knew you had a like 1 in 10 chance of reining him in. It’s not like he has a good track record of noticing you when you're speaking to him.”

And there it was. 

Penelope blinked as she registered the insult Daphne had directed toward her. The others sitting around her all watched on in stunned surprise, eyes all wide in shock. Even Phillip had lifted his head to look at Daphne in shock as the air around them became awkwardly uncomfortable. 

But Simon only closed his eyes as he leaned back in his chair and took a deep breath, wishing he’d pushed harder to escort Violet to the liquor store earlier.  

“See you all back in there,” Daphne cheerfully said in a sing-song voice and a wide smile as she carried the tray out of the room. “Don’t want everyone to think you guys are strategizing behind our backs.”

And then she was gone.

After a few moments, Simon sighed. “Penelope, I’d like to apologize on behalf of my wife for–” 

But Penelope only held up a hand, silencing him. She took a deep breath. “It’s fine. We all agreed to excuse anything that lot says on game night.” 

“I’m still more than welcome to call Posy,” Sophie offered again.

“If it comes to it, we’ll call her,” Simon told her with another sigh, relenting. They could make it work somehow if they had to. 

“We should all probably get back in there,” Michael said. “Before Daphne throws us all under the bus.”

“Which she will gladly do,” Simon replied in agreement, rising up from his chair. 

As he went to stand there was a sudden crashing sound from the other room, followed by loud and shocked expletives and shouting. Things were being tossed about and spilled, glass was shattering, as a loud high pitch scream was heard, followed by the other Bridgertons all yelling simultaneously. 

“Oh my God! IS THAT A KNIFE ?!” Daphne shouted. 

“Where the hell did you get a knife from?!” Anthony yelled.

“Hyacinth, put it down!” Benedict ordered. 

"Why does she have a knife!" Francesca screamed.

“That does not sound good,” Simon said, rising from his seat. 

As they all rushed to the room, Simon and Penelope were the first ones to make it in. Phillip and Michael had stayed behind to help Sophie out of her chair, meaning they were not witnesses to the sight that was Hyacinth holding a small switchblade in her outstretched arm as she stood on one side of the couch. Gregory stood on the other side, clutching his lower arm, a small trickle of blood slipping through his fingers as he stared at his younger sister in stunned shock. The rest of the siblings were all standing a safe distance away from the two, hands out in front of them as if they were handling feral dogs. 

“You bitch!” Gregory yelled. “You fucking stabbed me!” 

“You told Gareth about my lisp?!” Hyacinth screamed back furiously. 

“I thought he knew!” Gregory shouted back. “He’s your friend! I thought you told him everything!” 

“Not things he could use against me!” was the youngest Bridgerton loud, shrill reply. She tried to move around the couch to get him, but Gregory only moved at the same time as her, keeping the large sofa between them both as a makeshift barrier against his sister’s assault.  

“Hyacinth, put the knife down!” Francesca ordered this time.

“Where the fuck did you get a knife from?” Anthony shouted again, trying to approach them before stopping, unable to see a clear opportunity to get in between them.  

“Oh my God!” Sophie gasped as she came up behind Simon and Penelope, and saw what was going on in the living room. 

“Sophie, honey, stay out of the living room,” Benedict, hearing his wife, ordered. He was clutching his hand tightly from where Hyacinth had cut him after he tried to grab the knife from her. 

“Is someone going to stop her from killing me?!” Gregory shouted in a panic at his siblings. 

“Who gave Hyacinth a knife?” Michael asked, not to anyone in particular. And not that anyone answered.

But Penelope knew. She knew exactly who it was that had given Hyacinth a switchblade. A certain dumbass named Colin Bridgerton who’d bought the knife for his sister while he was in Japan, after Penelope explicitly told him not to. After she'd told him that it was a terrible idea to give Hyacinth her own personal weapon. 

And her dumbass husband currently could not meet her glare as he kept himself on the outskirts of the group. To remain, hopefully, unnoticed. 

Gregory, seeing an opening now that Penelope and Simon had moved out of the doorway, made an attempt to escape the room. With his sister hot on his heels. He dodged and weaved between the spouse with the skills one could only expect from a rugby player and fled out into the hallway.

And Hyacinth almost caught him as she went after him, getting close to grabbing him when she suddenly tripped over her feet, flying forward, the switchblade still grasped in her hand–

And stabbed the knife straight into Simon’s upper arm. 

An audible gasp was heard through the room, before it went dead silent. And it didn’t help that Simon barely even flinched, grunting as the knife stabbed through fabric and skin and into his arm, sliding through the muscle like a hot knife through butter. He was too caught up in the shock of what had just happened that all he could do was stare at Hyacinth in disbelief, brows furrowed and mouth partially open. And Hyacinth only stared back, equally just as surprised. 

The silence lingered a few more seconds, with Simon and Hyacinth both staring at one another in shock while the others watched on, before it was broken by Daphne screaming. 

“Did you just stab my husband ?!”

The noise immediately amped up again as the siblings all began to frantically yell and admonish their youngest sister for what she’d just done. Penelope slipped from the room to grab the first aid kit while they were all busy focusing on Hyacinth. 

Who said nothing as she let go of the knife, leaving it stuck in Simon’s arm, before fleeing the room and racing towards the stairs.

“Hyacinth!” Anthony roared, charging after her. 

As he rounded the coffee table and chased after his sister, followed by Kate, Benedict, and Colin, he accidentally knocked over the candle that had been burning on the table, which quickly started a small fire when the flame caught the alcohol soaked paper scattered over the wooden tabletop. 

Something that was overlooked in the chaos.

“Simon, are you alright?” Francesca asked.

Daphne rushed over to his side, hands hovering over the knife. “Oh God, oh God, oh God–”

“Honey,” Simon gently told her. “It’s alright. I’m fi–Do not pull out the knife!”

“But she stabbed you,” Daphne said, hand still clutching the handle of the knife. 

“I’m aware,” Simon replied, panicked eyes trained on her hands. “But when someone is stabbed with something you leave the object in. You do not pull it out .” 

“But she stabbed you.” 

“I’m aware, Daphne.”

“I got the first aid kit,” Penelope yelled as she rushed back into the room, carrying a medium sized red duffel bag with ‘first aid’ in bold white letters on the side. It certainly didn’t look like the tiny plastic ones you could get from the store. More like the ones professionals would have. 

“Where did you get that from?” Colin asked, confused.

“Phillipa. Her friend’s an EMT who told me where to buy these ones,” Penelope answered. 

“Why do you have it?” he asked next. “You could have just taken the one from upstairs.” 

Which was a simple store bought one that hadn’t been replaced in years and one Penelope knew did not have enough supplies to handle the stabbing that had just occurred in the home. And while Violet was smart enough to have enough first aid supplies for all eight of her children, she was the only one who knew where they were and was currently absent. 

But there were more important issues going on right now. 

“Um if I could just have everyone’s attention–” Michael started behind them, eyeing the growing flames building on the table.

The flames had begun to lick the arm of the closest sofa, blackening the fabric as it too began to catch alight. Smoke had slowly begun building in the room. Somehow unnoticed by the seven people still standing in the living room. 

“Because I suspected we would need it,” Penelope told her husband, looking at him in disbelief, as she ignored Michael. 

Colin’s brow furrowed deeper. “Why did you suspect we would need a professional level first aid kit for game night of all things?”

“Excuse me, if I could just–” Michael started again.

But Penelope waved a hand to what was going on in front of her, still oblivious to the growing problem behind her as she placed the bag down and began to unzip it. 

“Because of this!” she hissed at her husband. “Do you not see what is happening, Colin?!”

“I’ll just deal with it myself then,” Michael muttered under his breath, getting the sense he was on his own, as he hastily exited the living room and headed towards the kitchen. 

“Where’s Gregory gone?” Penelope asked. 

“Gregory!” Simon shouted. “Gregory, you can come out now!”

“Oh!” Sophie quietly gasped behind him as he yelled, pressing a hand to her stomach. Grimacing as she felt a thousand little needles stab into her groin before her eyes widened in panicked realization. “Oh no.” 

“Gregory!” Penelope called out again. “Gregory, seriously, she gone–”

She was suddenly interrupted by a loud shushing noise, which sounded like compressed air being released from a metal canister. They all turned to find Michael spraying the coffee table and curtains with the fire extinguisher kept in the kitchen. White smoke burst from the painted red can as it was released, the carbon dioxide lingered briefly in the air as it extinguished the flames, rolling over the furniture in soft waves as it slowly faded away. Leaving behind the burnt black evidence of fire damage; which was mainly on the table and the sofa that had been left at the mercy of it. 

“Mum is going to kill us,” Francesca remarked as she saw the destruction. 

“Yep,” Colin said, popping the ‘p’ as he spoke.

“Gregory?” Penelope called out again. "Gregory, come on! It's safe now!"

Down the hall, the door to the lounge cracked open. 

“Is she gone?” Gregory asked them, not poking his head. 

“I think the others are chasing her through the back of the house,” Penelope told him, which was followed by the sounds of glass shattering. As if right now cue.

The door creaked open further before Gregory stepped back out into the hallway. He looked pale and clammy, clutching his arm where his sister had gotten him.

And immediately threw up into the vase next to the door.

“Oh my God, Gregory, are you alright?” Penelope asked, worriedly as she came to his side. But Gregory only continued to heave into the porcelain vase.

“No,” he groaned out, clutching his side. “My stomach’s been killing me all evening.” 

Simon looked concerned as he studied the young boy’s symptoms. He’d noticed Gregory had been complaining of a stomach ache all evening. Add to it the vomiting and nausea, the fact he hadn’t seen him eat any of the food Daphne had brought when he usually plowed through them at the same pace as Colin did, only raised his suspicions. 

“Gregory, you’ve never had your appendix removed before, have you?” he asked and his brother-in-law only shook his head. 

“I think we should call an ambulance,” Penelope suggested. 

“Well, I think we can just get in the car and drive to A&E. It will definitely save us some time,” Simon replied. 

“Simon, you were stabbed,” Penelope pointed out. 

“I’ve already stemmed the bleeding and it doesn’t look like it hit anything vital,” Simon retorted as he studied the tourniquet he wrapped around his arm. “And Gregory’s wound isn’t too bad either.”

“Maybe it would be a good idea to call them,” Sophie said weakly.

“Sophie, I’m fine. It’s not too bad,” Simon assured her. 

“Oh no, not for you Simon. I meant for me,” Sophie replied politely. Which was an immediate cause for concern.

With the attention shifted to her, they all saw she was leaning against the sofa, gripping it tightly with one hand while the other was pressed against her stomach. She was breathing slowly. Slow, long exhales out her mouth and deep inhales through her nose.

And there was a wet stain on the carpet by her feet.

Penelope gasped, eyes widening as she noticed the stain. “Oh my God. Sophie, did your water break?” 

Sophie took another deep breath, grimacing. “Yeah...I think so.” 

“I’ll get Benedict,” Michael told them all before speedily exiting. 

Seeing his sister-in-law and dear friend going into early labor had apparently been enough to snap Phillip back to reality, and he quickly pulled out his phone to dial 999 while the others crowded around Sophie. 

“Ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod,” Penelope said rapidly as she came to Sophie’s side, taking the blonde’s arm and leading her around the sofa so she could sit down. “You’re having a baby?” Sophie nodded. “Right now?”

“Yes, Penelope, right now,” Sophie returned, exasperated. 

“Hi, yes, I need an ambulance at Number 5–” Phillip started to say into the phone behind them. 

Sophie squeezed Penelope’s hand as she felt another wave of contractions hit, gritting her teeth as she tried breathing through the pain. She could feel herself begin to panic, her mind begin to race. She wasn’t due for another three weeks. Her baby was coming a month early. A month early!

“It’s early. It’s too early,” she said weakly, voice quivering. 

“You’re going to be fine, Sophie,” Penelope assured her. “You and the baby are going to be just fine.” 

“ Oi !” Michael’s voice was heard yelling over the arguing in the other room, which was quickly silenced. “If you all are done trying to kill each other, Sophie’s in labor.” 

“ What ?” Benedict’s voice yelled, followed by a quick scuffle, the sounds of something large being thrown and Hyacinth screaming. 

Before they knew it, Benedict was racing into the room, nearly colliding with the doorway as he did. A panicked look on his face as he scanned the room for his wife, spotting her immediately where she was sitting on the couch, and rushing to her side.

“Sophie? Are you–?” he started and she quickly nodded. “Okay, okay. This is fine. We’ll just call an ambulance–”

“Already on it,” Phillip told him, covering the phone with his hand as he did.

Benedict nodded, before turning back to his wife, crouching down and taking her hand from Penelope, much to the redhead’s relief. Sophie had been squeezing the life out of it. 

“I’m here,” he told her gently as Sophie began squeezing his hand. “I’m here. It’s alright.” 

Sophie took another few deep breaths as she gave him a worried look. “It’s early. It’s too early,” she told him this time. 

“It’s fine. You’ll be fine,” Benedict assured her. 

“You asshole!” Hyacinth suddenly screamed as she charged into the room and immediately threw something at Benedict. 

Whatever the hell it was that she'd thrown, it impacted directly with Benedict’s eye, causing him to curse loudly as he flinched back, slapping a hand over his injured eye, before bending over in pain.

“Ow, fucking hell, Hy. I think you got my eye,” he hissed, clutching his face. 

“That was for throwing me!” Hyacinth screeched. 

“For God’s sake, Hyacinth,” Anthony shouted as he came into the room, out of breath. 

Realizing she’d been cornered, and knowing she was in for one hell of a lecture from her elder brother, Hyacinth made another run for it. Speedily racing out of the room once more and in the direction of the kitchen. Again.

“HYACINTH!” Anthony yelled, chasing after her. Again.

“Hyacinth, stop running!” Daphne shouted. 

“So, nobody thinks that it's weird Sophie suddenly went into labor?” Colin remarked suspiciously. 

“Babe, shut up,” Penelope told him.

“I mean he’s right. I just think it's a little odd that right now is when the baby decided to come,” Eloise commented as she looked into the room and saw Sophie. 

“Eloise!” Phillip snapped at his wife, aghast by her indifference. 

“What?” Eloise looked back at him with confusion (and a little defensive as well). “It’s just a little too convenient. Isn’t it?” 

Penelope only sighed. Again. 

“Eloise. Please stop talking,” she told her friend. 

But Sophie was already crying at this point, her breaths becoming more ragged. It wasn’t apparent if she’d heard her sister-in-laws remarks but she was certainly descending into hysterics and panic. 

“It’s too early,” she gasped out. “Three weeks? That’s a month! That’s too early, isn’t it?” 

“Sophie, breath, it’s okay,” Benedict told her, trying to comfort her while also holding a hand over his still painfully injured eye. “You’re okay. The baby will be fine.” 

Sophie's distressed had seemed to be able to bring some sense back to the Bridgertons. Well, two Bridgertons. The other one besides her husband, who arguable was the second most likely to keep a level head.

Francesca.

“The baby’s going to be fine,” she assured Sophie, coming to her sister-in-law’s side. “I was two weeks early. So was Hyacinth.”

“Hyacinth was a breech birth,” Sophie hissed back. 

Francesca ignored her, taking deep breaths as she continued. “Following my breaths, Sophie.”

“Does anyone smell smoke?” Phillip, still on the phone with 999, asked them all. Seconds before the house’s fire alarm went off. 

“My quiches!” Daphne screamed before rushing out of the room to the kitchen. Eloise followed her sister to see what was happening in the kitchen.

“I got it!” Michael yelled from the kitchen.

“Shouldn’t the sprinklers have turned on by now?” Phillip commented, glancing up at the chunk of metal sticking out of the ceiling above them. 

“They’ve been broken for months and Mum’s still waiting for the handyman to fix them,” Francesca replied quickly as she gently pushed Sophie towards the front door. “But I think right now, the best course of action is for us all to leave before we get smoke inhalation.” 

They all nodded in agreement, beginning to make their way towards the front of the house, Simon and Penelope were assisting Gregory, who was still vomiting into the small bin, while Sophie was helped by Benedict and Francesca. 

“I mean at the moment I think we just have the three issues,” Phillip said politely into the phone as he followed them. “So, if you could just send two ambulances that would be greatly appric–”

Before he could continue, there were the sounds of an explosion from the kitchen, a loud bang followed by a multitude of expletives being yelled, and more screaming. Everyone currently in the hallway and living room could only stare in the direction of the kitchen with horrified concern and shock. None of them knew what it was that had just happened and frankly, none of them really wanted to know.

“You know what,” Phillip added, voice calm as he stared down the hallway. “Just send everyone. Fire, ambulance, police. Everyone you have.” 

As he continued to relay information to emergency services, the remaining Bridgertons began making their way down the hall and out of the smoking kitchen, all coughing and choking on smoke. 

And Anthony was missing his eyebrows. 

“Good lord,” Simon remarked. 

“What?” Anthony choked back, still trying to recover from his coughing fit, as he reached out and grabbed the back of Hyacinth’s shirt before she could make another attempt to run. 

Not seeing it worth telling his friend what had happened to his face, Simon just shook his head. “Nothing,” he told him. “It’s nothing.”

“What the hell just happened?” Penelope demanded. 

“Kate and Anthony just blew up the kitchen,” Hyacinth answered through her own coughing fit as she struggled against her brother. 

“We did not!” Kate shot back. “It was Daphne’s bloody quiches that did it.” 

“My quiches were already burnt to ash,” Daphne retorted, furiously. “You threw a rum soaked towel on to a candle!” 

“I need you to understand that that does not explain the explosion we just heard,” Simon told them flatly. 

But as Daphne opened her mouth, most likely to explain, she was interrupted by a panicked Francesca yelling. 

“Where the hell is Michael?” she asked them, alarmed. 

“Where’s Eloise?” Phillip added, looking concerned as he saw his wife was also not amongst them either. 

Before anyone could guess, there were the sounds of a pair of people coughing loudly as they came down the hallway. Seconds later, Michael and Eloise both appeared, choking as they covered their mouths, gasping for clean smoke free air.

“Fuck,” Eloise cursed as she choked, doubling over to rest her hands on her upper legs as she continued coughing. 

“Oh, thank God,” Phillip breathed out a sigh of relief as he saw his wife. 

“So no one here thinks it’s weird Sophie’s suddenly in labor?” Kate suddenly asked loudly to the room. 

“What the fuck, Kate?” Benedict yelled, appalled. 

“DON’T YELL AT MY WIFE!” Anthony shouted.

“FUCK OFF, ANTHONY!” Benedict shouted back. 

“Benedict, please–” Sophie started, breathing heavily. 

“I just think it’s a little odd that now is when she’s in labor,” Kate continued loudly and stubbornly. “Like, obviously, I know they were losing and everything but–”

“Kate. Shut the fuck up,” Simon ordered curtly, but another shouting match had started between Anthony and Benedict, with Sophie pleading for them to stop. 

“That’s what I said,” Colin told her and Penelope looked about ready to kill him. 

But Penelope focused on doing a quick head count, noting that everyone was now present in the hallway, and with the smoke still coming from the kitchen, it was probably a good idea that they all leave. 

“Okay, let’s all get outside,” she shouted over the alarm to all of them. “We can all wait for the ambulances outside.” 

“Well, now that the fire is out, we should all probably–” Simon started. 

“Oh no, Simon, the fire’s still going in there,” Michael interrupted him, still coughing.

“The fire is still going?!” Penelope yelled.

Michael nodded. “Fire still going,” he repeated back. Which was when it became apparent there was too much smoke coming out of the kitchen for it to have been extinguished.

“Okay, everyone– ” Simon started to yell but was cut off before he could order them out of the house. 

“What on earth did the eight of you do?” a voice boomed suddenly. 

They all froze, fourteen heads all turning to look towards and finding Violet staring at them all in horror as she stood in the front doorway, an unopened bottle of wine in one hand and a plastic bag from Tesco’s in the other. 

(A plastic bag that seemed suspiciously like it was concealing a box of cigarettes.) 

Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately), none of them had a chance to respond. Because the moment Violet had walked into her home and found her living room curtains smoldering, with smoke billowing out from her recently updated kitchen down the hall, two of her children injured (one of whom was also throwing up into a vase) with a son-in-law injured as well, and a daughter-in-law experiencing full blown contractions as she sat on the staircase—

The broken fire suppression system finally decided to turn on. 

Violet Bridgerton to Edwina Sharma

Violet: Hi Edwina. I tried calling but I must have got you at a bad time. Anthony and Kate are fine but they both landed themselves in the hospital tonight. They’re completely and utterly fine. There is no need to worry about them, but neither one is going to be able to come home tonight since the doctors want them to stay overnight for observation. Are you alright watching the boys and Newton? If not I can come get them or call a sitter.

Edwina: Hi Mrs. Bridgerton. Don’t worry. Kate told me you guys were hosting game night when she asked me to babysit so I sort of assumed something would happen. I already called Mum and she’s here with us right now. The kids are fine.

Violet: Wonderful. I’ll let them both know. If anything changes, do not hesitate to call me.

Edwina: When you talk to my sister again please tell her I said ‘I told you so.’

Violet: Will do.

Sophie Bridgerton to Posy Reiling

Sophie: Okay don’t freak out. 

Posy: What happened? 

Posy: Where are you? 

Posy: Are you okay?

Posy: Is Ben okay?

Posy: Omg it is the baby!?!? Is the baby okay?!?!

Posy: Pls tell me everything's okay. 

Posy: Sophie??

Posy: Sophie answer me!!!

Sophie: Posy breathe. It takes time to type up a text and I’m currently experiencing full blown contractions while texting right now so it’s taking me a minute. 

Posy: Omg Sophie. Are you in labor???

Sophie: Unfortunately yes. The little peanut decided tonight’s the night he wants to come into the world so I’m currently heading to the hospital with Ben. I’m really sorry to put this on you but can you watch Charlie a little longer?

Posy: Absolutely. It’s totally not an issue at all. Charlie’s already had dinner and is asleep upstairs right now. I’ll text work that I’m taking tomorrow off. You're sure you're okay? Cause I can grab Charlie and be at the hospital as soon as possible.

Sophie: I’m okay. I promise. ❤️❤️

Posy: ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Sophie: Ben and I will try to keep you updated as much as possible but it may be a little difficult as both of us are going to need to get checked out by a doctor. 

Posy: Is Benedict okay?

Sophie: It’s a long story. 

Phillip Crane to Marina Thompson

Phillip: Hey. Can you keep the kids till Monday? 

Marina: Of course. Is everything okay? 

Phillip: Besides currently sitting in an ambulance on the way to the hospital with Eloise, who is getting treatment for smoke inhalation right now, I’m doing great.

Marina: Omg is everyone alright?

Phillip: We’re fine. Don’t worry. Just please don’t tell the kids.

Phillip: And can you also please go to my house and lock my greenhouse?

Marina: What happened?

Phillip: Marina. You do not want to know.

Agatha Danbury to Violet Bridgerton

Agatha: How many casualties this time?

Violet: Nine. Do you mind watching the girls longer?

Agatha: Not at all.

| The Next Day |

🐝 The Children Group Chat 🐝

Violet: I know I already said this at the hospital but I am saying it again here.

Violet: I will never EVER host another game night. Never again. And to make certain of this I have stripped this home of every board game, deck of cards and bloody party game we own or have ever owned. You aunts have graciously taken your father’s old poker set and blackjack set and so help me if any of you use your children as an excuse to bring new games into this home I will write you out of my will.

Francesca: Mum, I want to say again that I am so so sorry about what happened last night. It will never happen again. 

Violet: I would hope so since five out of the eight of you ended up in the hospital last night. 

Violet: And the damages. Good lord I don’t even know how I’m going to fix this. 

Anthony: I’ll take care of that Mum. I’ve already called the contractor to come look at the house on Monday.

Anthony: I also want to say that I’m sorry. It was my responsibility to keep everything in order. I should have controlled the situation better and instead, I allowed it to reach the chaos it did last night. 

Colin: Sorry again Mum.

Daphne: I’m really sorry about the kitchen Mum. I swear I’ll pay for all the damages. I promise.

Violet: Hyacinth do you have anything you would like to say right now??

Violet: Hyacinth I know you have your phone with you.

Anthony: Hyacinth Amelia Bridgerton, answer your mother. 

Hyacinth: Omg jesus christ. I’m literally hooked up to oxygen right now. 

Daphne: As if Anthony, Eloise, Kate, Michael and Gregory aren’t as well.

Daphne: Michael was literally almost intubated, that's how much smoke he got in his lungs!

Daphne: Not to mention what you did to MY HUSBAND!

Francesca: I would like to clarify that Michael is fine. He didn’t need to get intubated. The doctors were just concerned about the swelling. He was discharged this morning. 

Hyacinth: 😒😒😒 

Violet: I’m still waiting.

Hyacinth: Fine

Hyacinth: I’m sorry I stabbed Simon.

Hyacinth: and Gregory. 

Anthony: And???

Colin: I believe you also stabbed Benedict

Hyacinth: I grazed him.

Colin: You hit him in the eye with the dagger piece after slicing open his hand. 

Hyacinth: AND????

Benedict: I’m glad to see that you're so guilt ridden by it. 

Violet: Benedict! 

Violet: How are you and Sophie??

Benedict: Mum. Firstly, I just want to say how sorry I am for what happened last night. We were all incredibly immature, unruly and out of line. Myself included. The damage we did to the house you made with Dad was inexcusable and our actions towards one another was appalling. It was completely unacceptable what happened and I promise it will never ever happen again.

Benedict: And if it helps.

Benedict sent a photo .

Benedict sent a photo .

Benedict sent a photo .

Benedict sent a photo .

Benedict: Alexander Richard Bridgerton got here about quarter after one this morning. Six pounds and five ounces and perfectly healthy. So is Sophie. She did wonderfully. We just got home. 🥰🥰🥰

Daphne: Oh, he’s adorable Benedict. Congratulations x 

Anthony: Congratulations brother.

Francesca: He looks so content. And Sophie looks as beautiful as ever. 

Violet: This certainly helps. Thank you Benedict. ☺️☺️☺️

Violet: But I’m still upset 😤

Violet: WITH ALL OF YOU 😡😡😡

Colin: Congratulations Ben.

Colin: And might I add I’m loving the eye patch.

Benedict: Shut up.

Hyacinth: Yeah Captain Hook. When are you returning to Neverland to get Peter???

Colin: 😂😂 I was going to say he already has with Charlie, but it looks like he’s too busy being Mr. Smee.

Benedict: Captain Hook is missing a hand not an eye.

Colin: Let me know when you find Captain Flint’s lost treasure? 

Benedict: Okay. That's enough. 

Anthony: Knock it off you two. 

Violet: The two of you. Stop harassing your brother. 

Hyacinth: 😂😂😂 Any ghost ships on the horizon?? Found the kraken yet. 

Colin: how’s captaining the Black Pearl been for you???

Benedict: All right. That’s it. Sophie told me to me to be nice but fuck you both. 

Benedict: Mother. The reason Hyacinth had a switchblade is because Colin bought her one while he was in Japan. I told him not to but he didn’t listen to me. She’s had this weapon for months and has periodically threatening Gregory with it. 

Benedict: She also, for those who do not know, has an illegal taser hidden in the shoebox under her bed.

Anthony: THERE’S A TASER!!!

Francesca: Jesus Christ Hyacinth.

Hyacinth: You DICK!!! 

Hyacinth: Who told you??

Benedict: Gregory

Benedict: I went to check on him when Sophie was being discharged. He was high as a kite but very willing to tell me ALL of your secrets.

Violet: Hyacinth Amelia Bridgerton. When I get back to the hospital you and I are going to have a very long and frank conversation about safety and attacking your siblings. 

Violet: with WEAPONS!!!

Violet: And Colin. I don't even know where to begin with you on this.

Hyacinth: Well you’ll have to find me first. 

Colin: ✌🏻😔✌🏻

Colin: All I did was try and be a good brother and this is what I get. Betrayal. 

Benedict: Colin also refused to believe Sophie was in active labor and was just faking it. 

Colin:🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻

Benedict: As did Eloise and Anthony. And Kate too.

Eloise: what the FUCK Benedict??? 

Eloise: We all nearly died of smoke inhalation!!

Benedict: MY WIFE WENT INTO LABOR!

Benedict: I had to meet my son three weeks before he due date while wearing a fucking eye patch because SOMEONE has such severe anger issues that nearly resulted in a murder charge being issued last night. 

Benedict: Sophie had a panic attack last night because she thought our baby was dying. I have not gotten any sleep between getting treated for my eye/hand AND worrying over Sophie. At this point I’m running solely on very shitty hospital coffee and sheer spite! 

Benedict: And I also almost missed Alexander being born because of all this and now Charlie keeps demanding I play pirates and sword fight him while Sophie tries to get some sleep because Posy was so worried about him being emotionally scarred by all of this she told him I became a pirate!!

Eloise: I’m guessing you're making Barbossa the godfather.  

Colin: 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Benedict: Banned. You all are banned from visiting us save for mother. I don’t want any of you near Sophie or my children right now. And I don’t care how much you beg. None of you are ever allowed to be near us again. 

Benedict: And I’m not even going to start about being completely and utterly fucking right about Ms. Scarlet being the murderer with the fucking candlestick in the fucking library. I cannot believe you all almost convinced me I was wrong!!

Eloise: Omg did you check the damn envelope while we were being loaded into ambulances?!?!?

Benedict: Of course I fucking did!!!

Violet: Benedict. Sweetheart. I’ll come check on you and Sophie after I’ve dealt with the taser currently sitting in my house and then the owner of said weapon. Please get some rest and take it easy.

Benedict: Thank you Mum ❤️ Can I just say how incredibly grateful and blessed I am to have gotten you as my mother? You do a wonderful job every day at managing us and it is forever a testament to your strength and character. I truly do not know what I would do without you.

Violet: ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Colin: Kiss ass

Eloise: Mama’s boy

Benedict removed Colin and Eloise from the chat.

Benedict: And one more thing.

Benedict: How are your eyebrows doing brother???

Anthony: You absolute piece of shit.