Chapter Text
At one point in Tony's life, waking up blindfolded, tied to a chair, and stripped to his boxers would've meant fun, sexy things were about to happen. He's not that lucky now. He has just long enough to ascertain two more facts, that he's tied down with rope and his head is throbbing worse than it did the first time he got seriously drunk when he was thirteen, before fingers slide into his hair and cruelly wrench his head up. He yelps at the pain that shoots down his neck, arching his back to try and take some of the pressure off.
"Now, now, Mr. Stark. None of that." The voice is unfamiliar, but that doesn't mean much: there's tons of way to modify a voice. The grip on his hair tightens, pulling until his neck is aching just as bad as his head and Tony is stretched as far as he can go to alleviate the pain. Just when he thinks that his hair is going to come right off, the hand suddenly lets go. He slumps down in the chair, breathing hard, and the man laughs at him.
"So much for the great Iron Man, the amazing Tony Stark. You were pathetically easy to kidnap. Do you always pay such little attention to your surroundings, or is your security team really that anxious to get rid of you?"
"Fuck you," Tony slurs, closing his eyes. It doesn't make much difference because of the blindfold, but instinct has his eyes straining to focus in a way that's making him dizzy. "I'm not sure what you hope to gain from kidnapping me. Stark Industries won't pay whatever ransom you're planning to ask for, so you're out of luck."
"Maybe they won't, but the Avengers will."
It takes a worrying second for the words to process, but once they do Tony actually laughs. His head pounds, bands of pain wrapping around his temples, but he still spits out, "Oh my god, are you kidding me? That's why you kidnapped me? To get to the team? Sorry, you're barking up the wrong tree. I would say try again, except you'd probably - no, you know what, please do try again. Next time aim for the gorgeous redhead with the green eyes and the collection of knives up her sleeve. I'd love to see what happens when you -"
The man slaps him hard. Tony's head snaps to the side and his ears ring. Over the ringing, the man snaps, "Don't try to lie to me, Stark. I know what this means." He jabs Tony twice with the tip of a knife, once just over his heart and the other on his right shoulder blade. "You expect me to believe that Captain America and the Winter Soldier won't pay to get their soulmate back?"
The words make something in Tony's chest go cold. All amusement drains away, and he says flatly, "That doesn't mean anything. Never has, never will."
And there's too much to go into, not that he'd share his story of woe with this psychopath anyway. There's no point in explaining that Tony's been in love with Steve since he could walk, that Steve's name had formed on his heart when he was only eight years old and hasn't faded no matter how much he claimed to hate Captain America in the following years. Or that Bucky's name appeared, burning and sharp, on his back a scant year after Steve brought Bucky home to the tower and Tony made him smile for the first time.
Or that Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes have been in love for over a hundred years, and they're each other's soulmate. It's the kind of fabled love story that makes women and men alike swoon, because those two soldiers triumphed over everything to get back to each other. And that leaves Tony out in the cold, the idiot who went and fell in love with them both, the outsider who will never get what he wants the most.
"I just warned you not to lie to me." Another slap to the other side of his face, and Tony's beginning to wonder if this is going to leave him with whiplash. "The Avengers will pay to get their beloved teammate back."
"Yeah," Tony says. "They would, if you'd taken one of their beloved teammates. Instead, you got me. Newsflash. I'm the perpetual fuck-up of the group. I don't listen to orders. I'm not a team player. No one trusts me to have their backs. I'm just the guy who makes everyone look pretty and pays for all the damage we do. That's the only reason they keep me around, and guess what? My will means they all get lots of money, more than enough to keep them in upgrades and damages for years. Granted, their upgrades won’t be awesome, but against idiots like you my genius is clearly wasted.” He manages a smirk. “So this time you're the one who fucked up."
"You are Iron Man," the guy says, but he's sounding less convinced now.
“Ever heard of the Iron Patriot? They’ll love Rhodey, trust me. He’s all about following orders. He likes to think he stole a suit, but I had to give him a reason to keep coming around. I keep it up to date on purpose. And it’s not like Pepper will abandon the team. If she can put up with me for as long as she has, she can help them. It’ll be much easier for her to earn her paycheck that way… no pay is enough to put up with me.” His words are slowing down. It’s getting harder to think. He’s not even sure if his eyes are opened or closed now.
He passes out to the sound of fierce whispering, and the sense of triumph that at least he’s inspiring dissent amongst his kidnappers follows him into his nightmares.
Another slap jolts him awake. His head lolls back on his neck with the force of it, body feeling curiously heavy, like everything is too much effort. They grab him by the hair again and wrench his head up, tearing the blindfold off. The light is staggering in how much it hurts, slicing into his eyes. If he could, he’d shield his eyes. As it is, he twitches pathetically and tries to turn his head away. They don’t let him, forcing him to stare into the light until he can make out the shape of a man.
“See this, Stark?” the man says. It’s a different guy than before, but he’s got a knife. “Since you say that your soulmates don’t care about you, perhaps I should do them a favor and cut their names off of you.”
Tony’s first instinct, which he clamps down on, is to beg. Even if Steve and Bucky will never think of him like that, he’s taken solace in knowing that somehow, in some miniscule way, he’s a match for them. Those names and the fantasy they represent have gotten him through some dark days. But he doesn’t deserve them. He knows that deep down, and if he were a better man he’d have taken a knife and carved Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes out of his flesh himself.
“Go ahead,” Tony says hoarsely. His mouth aches. Has he been screaming? He can’t remember. “You’re right. You’d be doing them a favor.”
The guy looks at him, eyes squinted through his mask, and it’s so clearly not the answer he wanted that Tony can’t help smiling. That definitely provokes a response; he gets stabbed in the chest, just below his armpit and to the side of where Steve’s name is written. The knife sinks easily into his skin and he jerks, gurgling on a scream. It’s agonizing, and yet all Tony can think is how ridiculously glad he is that they didn’t slice Steve’s name off after all.
“You’re pathetic. How did you earn the name of an Avenger?” someone behind him says.
“Sheer luck. They didn’t want me until Loki attacked and they didn’t have a choice, and now I’m pretty sure that they’re just afraid I’ll take all my toys back and dump the team on the street if they kick me out.” The words tumble out, because what difference does it really make? Maybe he should shut up, go along with it, pretend the team is coming. But they’re not, they’re not and Tony knows that, and it would be way too easy to convince himself that they are. It will hurt too much when they don’t.
The knife gets pulled out roughly and the guy stomps past Tony. The hand lets go of his hair and Tony’s head falls forward instantly. He can feel blood trickling down his side, warm and distracting. He’s never been kidnapped as leverage against the team before: leverage hasn’t been the reason since he was a teenager and Howard made the decision that Maria was no longer allowed to pay ransoms for him. Usually they want him to build things. But maybe these idiots are a shade smarter if they’re not willing to give him access to even scrap metal.
He might pass out for a little while. It’s hard to tell when his thoughts are slow as syrup and processing what’s happening around him takes way more effort that he can expend right now. But he definitely wakes up when he gets stabbed again, this time on his back just to the side of Bucky’s name, so deep he thinks he feels the tip of the knife impact the arc reactor. He whimpers when they leave it there, sticking out of him, and his ears fill with a dull roar.
Or maybe not so dull, and it's not just him. They’re panicking, people scrambling around and yelling, and Tony doesn’t understand why until the door to the room is literally wrenched off its hinges. A familiar circular object whips into the room, slamming into the faces of one-two-three-four-five guys before it's caught. Tony blinks slowly as Captain America stalks into the room, face set with murderous intent. The Winter Solider is right behind him, and yeah that is the Winter Soldier, eyes cold and intent in a way Tony hasn’t seen for a long time.
“Shoot them, you bastards, shoot them!” one of the guys is screaming. Poetically, he promptly gets shot in the chest. Tony stares at the body, barely hearing as Bucky shoots the other two men, and in the wake of all that silence the absence of screaming is startling.
The only sound in the room is Steve breathing hard, like he’s been running for – well, not miles, because Tony knows he can run further than that without breaking a sweat, but for a really long time. He wrenches his cowl back, and his eyes look even bluer for his pink cheeks, and Tony feels a familiar spasm of longing somewhere deep inside his belly. Right up until Bucky stalks back around to the front of him, and he realizes that both of them still look really, really pissed off. The haze of pain is quickly splintered by cold fear.
Because now they know. Two years of never removing his shirt around Steve, plus an extra two years of being hyper vigilant once Bucky moved in, means that it’s been a very long time since Tony was naked in front of anyone. He hadn’t trusted the make-up that carried him through his teens and twenties and obscures Steve’s name on all the videos. But they can see it all. See the name on his chest and the name on his back, and they know, and they look so mad.
“I’m sorry,” Tony slurs, and it’s kind of hard to make his mouth form words right now, but he thinks this needs to be said before one or both of them try to kill him. He really doesn’t want to die here. “Sorry, I – I didn’t mean to, sorry.”
Bucky grabs Steve’s arm, stopping Steve’s progress. His eyes are still dark. “Sorry for what?”
“Your names. Didn’t mean to. I just, Steve’s been there since I was a kid, and Bucky’s just happened, and I tried to stop. I know I’m not – I tried to – you’re so much - sorry.” He cuts himself off because now they look even madder, and he already hurts so much, and he can’t stop the pathetic whimper from rolling out. “Please, don’t hurt me.”
“They’re not going to hurt you.” Coulson strides into the room, shouldering Bucky and Steve aside with ease, and his mouth tightens when he looks at Tony for the first time. “Can I cut you free, Stark?”
It’s a weird question to ask. Tony thinks he nods. He gets why Coulson asked when the agent takes a switchblade out of his pocket, and he can’t help flinching. He forgets about the other two, too focused on watching Coulson slip the blade under the rope and slice through it easily. It’s a complicated set of knots, requiring more than one cut, and Coulson swears when he gets around to Tony’s back and he sees the knife still sticking out of his shoulder. Tony cocks his head.
“Y’don’t swear,” he mumbles.
“As always, you push me to new heights,” Coulson says, and he looks a little like Steve and Bucky did, angry, but that’s commonplace for Coulson and anyway he’s doing a much better job of controlling it. He strips off his jacket and gently drapes it around Tony’s shoulders, mindful of the knife, and only then does Tony realize he’s trembling.
“Agent?”
“Yes?”
“My shoulder hurts.”
“I know. I have paramedics on the way.”
“Steve’n’Bucky’re mad at me,” Tony adds, struggling to focus on his face. “They hate me.”
Coulson sighs and looks up over Tony’s head. For some reason, he’s got a glare on his face. Tony’s too tired to see what he’s glaring at as Coulson says gently, “Believe me, Tony, you are so wrong about that, you don’t even know.”
Tony would like to explain how very not wrong he is – he’s got data to back it all up; it’s all been categorized into lists, hidden away in the depths of his servers, that he looks over whenever he starts dreaming too seriously about a life with his soulmates – but his tongue isn’t cooperating anymore and his head is getting really heavy. He’s not conscious of closing his eyes. He’s not really conscious of anything anymore.
--
Tony disappears on a Wednesday morning. No one knows for six hours after the fact, and, by the time word gets passed to the Avengers, the kidnappers and Tony are long gone. It’s a tense three days before they get any sign that Tony is even alive, and it comes through video footage that is so heavily encrypted that it takes JARVIS four long hours to work out how to even get it to play. Once it does, Bucky almost wishes that they hadn’t.
The footage – recorded, JARVIS says, not live, though that’s hardly a comfort once they’ve watched it – is horrifying. It’s bad enough to have to stand by and watch Tony be beaten. But the things he says, the words that come out of his mouth… it’s apparent to anyone who spends more than five minutes with Tony that he has a very poor opinion of himself. Bucky didn’t know it was like this. No one did. Pepper cries, tears sliding silently down her cheeks, and looks more shaken than Bucky’s ever seen her as she walks out to call Rhodey.
In the ensuing silence, the video switches to live. Rage is an emotion that Bucky is familiar with, but it’s never been this potent before as he watches the knife scrape across Steve’s name, across his name, and sees the resignation on Tony’s face. It hurt somewhere deep inside, in a place that Bucky had been convinced that Hydra destroyed. That hopelessness wasn’t put there by the kidnappers, no. That’s the fault of the team and in particular Steve and Bucky, who have failed Tony Stark so completely they didn’t even know it was happening until the evidence was shoved in their faces.
When the video cuts out, Bucky clears his throat and says the only thing he can think of. “Steve, I think we’re going to have to be a lot less subtle in the future.”
Steve just puts his fist through the wall and snarls, “JARVIS, you better be able to trace that footage. We’re going to get Tony. Now.”
“Tracing now, Captain Rogers,” JARVIS answers, and he adds something else, something about how the kidnappers made a mistake when they switched over from recorded footage to providing live video, but no one is listening. They spill out of the cramped room and swarm the quinjet. Clint practically throws himself into the pilot seat beside Coulson and starts the jet with quick, jerky movements.
The tension in the jet, especially when they find out that Tony is being held only three hours away, is palpable. Steve is twitching, so filled with fury that he can’t stand still. He’s always been like this, even when he was a punk kid who weighed 90lbs soaking wet. Anger gives him energy, makes him explosive, and heaven help anyone who gets in his way. Anger gives Bucky energy, too, but his years as the Winter Soldier have taught him how to channel that into stillness. People, he’s discovered, get so much more afraid when you’re quiet.
He can feel it flowing over him by the way his muscles loosen and his breath comes slower, not panicked. Natasha meets his gaze and he sees the change in her, the Black Widow staring back at the Winter Soldier, both of them united in an unspoken agreement to end the life of anyone who participated in this kidnapping. He sets a hand on the handle of his favorite gun and stands in stoic silence for the whole trip, until Clint lands the quinjet in a small clearing a mile out.
“Bruce, we need the Hulk,” Steve says, just barely polite, and Bruce nods. His skin has held a tint of green for the past four and a half days, and he looks glad to be putting it to use finally. He strips off except for the customized pants Tony made him and makes his way out of the jet. Less than a minute later, the Hulk and Thor are raining fury down on the compound. Natasha and Clint disappear into the trees to pick off the idiots stupid enough to think they can run.
Coulson follows them into the compound, officially to keep an eye on what’s going on. Unofficially, Bucky thinks, it’s to see firsthand whether Tony is okay, though Coulson would probably cut his own tongue out before admitting he cares about Tony in any way. That’s the problem, though. Maybe there’s been a little too much of that going around. And while Tony’s never been good at picking up on subtlety, Bucky’s pretty sure the fault for this lies entirely on them.
They find their missing teammate without too much difficulty. Steve’s shield takes care of over half the room in one fell swoop, and Bucky gleefully guns down the rest. Talking to Tony isn’t so easy. Bucky’s heart drops straight through his stomach when he sees the fear in Tony’s face, and some of that is from the drugs and concussion, but too much of it is purely Tony. He’s relieved when Coulson intervenes, having been waiting right outside the door, and shoulders them aside with ease to cut Tony free.
The paramedics walk in and swarm Tony, and Bucky turns to Steve. He recognizes the look on Steve’s face; he’s shutting down, internalizing the blame, and they don’t have time for that bullshit right now. So his punch to Steve’s arm is less than gentle, but it’s not even close to what they both deserve. In almost any other setting, the offended expression Steve shoots him would be amusing.
“Knock it off,” Bucky says, low but firm. “We have to focus on fixing this, Steve. Instead of stewing in guilt, put that strategist brain of yours to work figuring out how we’re going to make Tony realize that we’ve wanted this for a long time.”
Because they have. Steve was first, of course: it took him all of three days after he and Bucky kissed for the first time this side of the millennium to confess that he had feelings for Tony. He’s never tried to hide Tony’s name, which is written on the underside of his right arm in a surprisingly delicate scrawl. Bucky didn’t understand it at first. He was jealous, though he tried not to show it. There were people that had more than one soulmate even when they were kids, and it was happening more now.
But then, the more time he spent with Tony Stark… oh yeah, he got it. The guy was a little shit at times, cocky and arrogant and constantly snarky, but simultaneously generous, kind, and possessing a talent for making really old super soldiers feel at ease. He’d rebuilt Bucky’s arm from the gears up and never once flinched away from a bad moment on Bucky’s part – which were rare, after a while, but more frequent in the beginning. It took all of six months for his name to appear on Bucky’s left inner thigh.
Steve, when he saw Tony’s name on Bucky’s flesh for the first time, just smiled.
Now, Steve’s mouth is twisted into a grimace. “How did we fuck up so bad, Buck?”
“We were trying to be careful. We weren’t sure…” Bucky trails off, because in the glaring light of day it suddenly seems so obvious. Of course Tony wanted them back. The signs have been there for months; they just weren’t paying attention. And he wouldn’t have said anything, because apparently he’s gotten the impression that they hate him. That the whole team hates him, or at very least just puts up with him because they have to for money and upgrades.
His head aches as he looks back at Tony, who is being very carefully loaded onto a stretcher on his side. “You’re right. We fucked up. There’s no excuses for that. We should’ve said something before it got this far, soulmates or not. But we can start fixing this by being there when he wakes up.”
Tony is transported to the SHIELD Medical Bay, where he spends five hours in surgery having the knife from his back removed and the internal damage from both stab wounds fixed. In addition to that, he also has a broken right ankle, three broken ribs and four cracked ribs, sprained fingers, a fractured radius on his left arm, numerous bruises and scrapes, and a bad concussion. It’s not as bad as it could have been – not as bad as some missions have been – but, in light of how it happened, it's not good.
They gather in his room after the doctor finishes a complicated explanation that only Bruce understands. Steve sits down on Tony’s right side with a proprietary, determined air and takes Tony’s hand into his own. Bucky glances at Pepper, half-expecting her to take Tony’s other hand, but Pepper just shakes her head wearily. He sits, taking Tony’s hand more carefully, mindful of the bandages and the I.V. that’s pumping sedatives and pain medication into Tony.
It’s been a very long five days, and predictably no one takes it well when Natasha says, “When he wakes up, I may kill him.”
“Don’t even joke about that right now,” Clint says. He’s got an arm draped around her shoulders and looks as tired as Bucky feels. “He might hear you and think you mean it.”
“I do mean it.”
“No, you don’t,” Bruce says, giving her a small but fond smile. “Tony will be fine. He’ll have to be on bed rest for a while, though. From what I’m seeing here, he’s been running himself into the ground. Exhaustion and lack of food will do a lot more damage than anything else.”
“Man cannot live on coffee alone,” Clint mutters.
“I’ll clear his schedule for the next three weeks,” says Pepper. Her eyes are still damp, but she’s otherwise composed. “I’ll talk to Director Fury and make sure that he knows any work Tony’s been doing for SHIELD is on hold as of right now. And he just finished the schematics for a new Starkpad, so that will hold the board off. How long until he wakes up, Bruce?”
“Sometime tomorrow, but it might be two or three days before he’s aware enough to talk.”
Pepper nods, her jaw set in a familiar, stubborn way. “That’s okay. We can wait. Rhodey’s not coming in until later tonight anyway.”
“We can’t bombard him all at once. That could actually have the opposite effect, ” Bruce cautions.
“Or it may make him understand that we desire him as a shield brother,” says Thor. He’s making an effort to be quiet, which really just means he’s talking at a volume that would be considered loud for anyone else. “On Asgard, we are more open with our affection.”
“I don’t think an orgy is going to help,” Clint says. Bucky tenses at the thought. He can just make out the curve of the ‘S’ to Steve’s name under the hem of Tony’s hospital gown. He and Steve haven’t discussed it, but he is 100% certain that the realization that Tony is their soulmate has only made them want him more. Tony is theirs.
Thor looks entirely too amused. “A splendid idea, but one I believe my fair Jane would take issue with. I simply meant that there are times when a positive word or invitation can make all the difference in the world. I know I have often wished that I had made more of an effort to include Loki when we were children. I wonder if it might have made more of a difference if I had.”
There’s a heavy silence, and Bucky doesn’t know about everyone else but he’s imagining Tony as Loki. He’s only had a couple of encounters with Thor’s brother, but that was more than enough to know he doesn’t want more. And it could go that way easily; Tony has ample money to become a super villain, or even just a villain, not to mention the intelligence, and right now he doesn’t feel a connection to anyone on the team. The whole world would be in a lot of trouble if it came to that. They’d be fucked if Tony and Loki ever decided to pair up.
“Okay, well, that’s the creepiest thing I’ve heard all day,” Clint says.
“It was not meant to disturb you,” Thor says apologetically. “I merely meant to -”
“It’s hard.” Bucky’s mouth moves of its own accord, is letting out words. Usually he doesn’t speak a whole lot around the team, preferring one-on-one interaction to the whole group, but the words keep coming. “When you – you don’t look at the world properly, or the people around you, and nothing processes the way other people think it should. I remember Howard Stark. This is – he wasn’t –” He can’t say it out the way he wants to. But it’s true. He remembers tailing Howard Stark a few days before arranging the car accident. He remembers that little boy and the cold way Howard talked to him, how nothing was ever good enough.
“It’s okay,” Natasha says, and Bucky shakes his head.
“No, it’s not. This is all Tony’s ever known,” he says, like an offering, and it’s not right, but he thinks the meaning might be getting across anyway. “People want – they want money, or – or something. It’s never just about him.” Just like it was never about Bucky, but the Winter Soldier. “He doesn’t know that you’re any different. It’s easier to accept a concrete reason based on past evidence, instead of thinking… maybe it’s about you this time.”
No one says anything for the longest time. They’re all staring at Tony, even Steve. Tony, who is so good at hiding behind words. He and Bucky are the same in some ways, but Bucky’s never relearned the art of words. He forgot them after all his years as the Winter Soldier, because Hydra didn’t want to hear anything but ‘yes’. But he’s familiar with how hard it is to trust people. It took him days to believe that Steve didn’t have an ulterior motive, weeks to believe that Tony just wanted to help, months to believe that Natasha had fully defected, and even longer to trust anyone else.
Coulson breaks the silence, slipping into the room and setting a hand on Pepper’s arm. “I’ve set up a schedule,” he says. “So that Tony won’t be alone when he wakes up. I don’t care if you stay and hang out when it’s not your time, but at some point all of you will be going home to sleep.” He levels a pointed look at Steve and Bucky. “Tony will only feel guilty if he finds you all looking like wrecks.”
Murmurs rise through the room, and Coulson holds up a hand. “The schedule starts tomorrow morning. For now, I’ve ordered in food. It’ll be here in twenty minutes.”
“Thanks Phil,” Steve says with a tired smile. He meets Bucky’s gaze briefly, and Bucky can tell what he’s thinking: it’s not too late. When Tony wakes up, they’ll talk to him. And if this is something he wants, if the three of them are something he wants, then they’ll make it happen. Bucky’s had a hard time learning to trust people, but he thinks that for Tony, he can learn how to use words again.
--
Natasha is upset. It’s not written across her face, but Steve can see the tension in her subdued grace. He hates to leave Tony, but with Phil, Pepper and Natasha all ganging up on him, he gives in and leaves Bucky, Clint and Thor there. He accompanies Natasha and Bruce back to the tower, already knowing that he probably won’t sleep. He’s gotten used to sleeping beside Bucky, and he’s wanted to sleep beside Tony for years. Sleeping by himself isn’t going to go over well.
So he’s surprised when, after a long shower, he emerges from the bathroom to find Natasha curled up in his bed, waiting for him. Even before he gets to the bed, she says, “This is my fault. The report I wrote back when I first met Tony… I never told him otherwise. He still thinks that SHIELD and the team only want Iron Man, that we have no interest in Tony Stark. I should have said something. I thought he’d figure it out.”
“For a genius, he’s not very smart sometimes,” Steve agrees, but fondly. He admires that about Tony, actually. For someone who is extremely intelligent, and who has every reason to see bad things in the world, Tony can still see the good. He’s always trying to make things better. Steve just wishes that Tony could see there’s good in him too.
“That’s just it. After all this time, he still doesn’t know? We’ve been living here for four years,” she says, sounding aggravated. “Does he really believe we’d stick around that long just for the free rent and upgrades?”
“I don’t know. Probably. It’s not your fault. You didn’t realize. None of us did. I thought the team was going pretty well, actually,” he confides, sitting down on the bed. “All of us were getting along for the most part... Our success rate on the field is better than ever. We weren’t fighting. We had team night once a week. Sure, I usually had to drag Tony and Bruce out of their labs, but…”
“It’s not your fault if it’s not mine,” Natasha points out. “Tony’s a fantastic actor. He fooled all of us. Of course he did. When you spend your whole life around people who only want to be nice to you for money, or your body, or your tech, you learn to take what you can get.” She sighs, shutting her eyes. “Pepper’s so upset. She’s really hurt that Tony thinks she’s sticking around just for the paycheck.”
“I bet Rhodey is furious, too.”
Natasha nods without opening her eyes. “I think so. Everyone is. At themselves mostly, I think. I know that I am. I should’ve seen this coming, Steve.”
“We’ve all been busy,” Steve says quietly, not that that’s an excuse – and they both know it. He’s spent so much time with Bucky over the past couple years. Especially at first, Bucky sucked up all of his and Natasha’s time. Even though he was still participating in missions, he lost touch with everyone else for a little while. Seeing Tony again, really seeing him the first night Bucky was comfortable enough to visit the tower, felt like coming home. He wonders now if Tony knows that. He never bothered to say as much. He wishes he had now.
Tony took their raggedy group in and gave everyone a home. He lifts his head, looking up at the familiar ceiling. Soulmate or not, Steve wants him. All of the reasons he and Bucky had for not approaching Tony before – they weren’t sure he was really over Pepper, they didn’t know if he’d be open to a relationship with three people, and what if he just wasn’t interested in them? – suddenly seem stupid. Steve’s supposed to be the brave one here, and he’s let cowardice keep him quiet and separate Tony from the team.
He lets Natasha pull him down into the bed. They don’t say anything else. JARVIS turns the lights down, and Steve tries to sleep. He’s not really successful. He doesn’t have nightmares, surprisingly, but he thinks it’s because he never sleeps long enough for that. Natasha doesn’t sleep well either; every time he wakes up, she’s already awake and looking up at the ceiling. The night drags by, and it feels like weeks have passed by the time the clock reads 6am and Steve is allowed back at Medical.
The first time Tony wakes up, Bucky and Steve and Clint are in the room with him. Tony’s fuzzy, Steve can tell right off, his brown eyes flicking around the room with confusion and a hint of fear. When he sees Bucky and Steve, though, he visibly relaxes. His face brightens up with an open, sleepy smile that twists Steve’s stomach, and all he can do is sit there and squeeze Tony’s hand tighter, wondering how he could have thought that Tony didn’t want him. Them.
But true to Bruce’s word, it’s three days before Tony really wakes up and has any degree of lucidity. Steve is there and so is Rhodey, both of them sitting in a contemplative silence. Tony comes to with a jolt, trying to sit up automatically, stopping halfway through with a pained grunt. Rhodey’s on his feet immediately, pressing Tony back down against the bed. Steve quells every instinct that demands he help, sensing this is something that Rhodey needs to do.
“Don’t, Tones,” Rhodey says firmly. “It’s okay. But you can’t sit up. You’ll hurt yourself.”
“Rhodey?” Tony mumbles, his voice all raspy, and Steve wordlessly picks up the pitcher of warm water on the nightstand and pours him a glass. He holds the glass, angling the straw so that Tony can drink. Tony does, taking deep, grateful gulps until the glass is half empty.
The door opens and Pepper pokes her head in, no doubt having heard Rhodey’s voice. Her eyes get really big and glassy when she sees Tony, and Steve starts thinking that this is something he probably shouldn’t be here for. Except he’s still holding Tony’s hand, and he doesn’t really want to let go. Not unless Tony actively pulls away, and he hasn’t, though possibly because he hasn’t realized Steve’s holding his hand yet.
“Tony,” Pepper whispers, as though afraid to speak more loudly, edging into the room and closing the door behind her. There’s a cautiousness to her that is at odds with her normal, confident self. She meets Steve’s gaze, and he raises his eyebrows in silent question. He’ll go, if she really wants him to, but Pepper gives her head a single shake.
“Hey, Pep,” Tony says, sounding marginally better. “What’s up?”
“Oh god, Tony, you scared me. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.”
“Yeah, you look fine,” Rhodey says, blatantly giving him the once-over. “You look like crap, man, and I know they’ve got you on strong painkillers, but you have to be feeling it.”
Tony shrugs and then winces a little. “It’s not that bad. What happened?”
“Do you remember being kidnapped?” Pepper asks.
“Yeah.”
“And do you remember telling your kidnappers that the only reason we keep you around is for money and upgrades?” Rhodey asks, and the words sound pleasant enough. Steve can pinpoint the exact moment when it sinks in, and Tony jolts. His hand squeezes Steve’s hand, and for the first time he seems to realize Steve is there. The expression of confused surprise when he looks at Steve is heartbreaking.
“I…” Tony starts and then stops, eyes flicking from Rhodey to Pepper to Steve, seemingly sensing that he’s treading on thin ice. “No?”
“You’re a shit liar in general, but that was just sad,” Rhodey says, shaking his head. “Is that really the only reason you let me keep the suit? And why you upgrade it? Because you think I’ll stop being your friend if you don’t?”
“Rhodey…”
“Because that’s not true and you damn well know it, Tony Stark. What about all those years in university? I didn’t accept any money from you then.”
Tony hesitates for a moment. “The army… you were paid to watch me…” he says in a small voice. It kills Steve to see the uncertainty in his face, especially because he knows that if Tony weren't heavily medicated, all of his shields would be up in full force and he'd never be saying this. He prays that Pepper's and Rhodey's words are actually penetrating, and that Tony will remember them.
“Yeah, and I didn’t tell them shit that you didn't want them to know,” Rhodey growls. “My loyalty has always been to you, you fucker. Me getting a job as the military liaison between Stark Industries and the army was a way for me to spend more time with you instead of being sent god knows where. I thought it was what you wanted. If I’d known how you were taking it –”
"Not to mention," Pepper says, smoothly cutting Rhodey off, "you seem to be under the impression that I'm only here because you sign my paycheck. I'll tell you one thing, you were right in that no amount of money would be enough to keep me here if I didn't want to be. Tony, I love you. I didn't break up with you because I stopped loving you. I told you, I can't handle it when you're out there fighting. And that's about me, not you."
There's so much emotion in her voice that Steve has to force himself to sit still when all he really wants to do is squirm uncomfortably. None of the team was really sure what happened between Tony and Pepper, not even Bruce. Everything seemed okay one day, and then suddenly there was a week-long period where no one saw Tony and several weeks where Pepper didn't come by the tower. When he resurfaced Tony refused to talk about it, and whatever Natasha heard from Pepper remained in confidence. But Steve's always wondered, and now he knows.
Tony remains silent, just staring at them, and Pepper sinks down onto the edge of the bed. She puts a hand on his knee and says, "Listen to me. Stark Industries could go bust tomorrow and I'd still be here. I love my job, and I love our company, but we're friends before everything else. Sure there are days when you frustrate me, and days where you make my job a hundred times harder, and you have to buy me pretty things to make up for those days. But even if you didn't, I wouldn't just leave. I don't care how much money you have. I care about you."
"That goes for me too," says Rhodey, putting his hand on top of Pepper's. "If you think I'm only here for the suit upgrades, then I'm officially cutting off your access."
"What?" Tony says, blinking rapidly. "But who will...?"
Rhodey shrugs. "I'm sure there's someone at SHIELD who can keep my suit up to date. I'll find someone. I'd rather hand it over to someone else than have you think that's the only reason I hang around."
"No. No, don't do that," Tony says. He sounds a little distressed. If he were less medicated, he'd be ranting about the ineptitude of SHIELD. As it is, he sounds like he's going to cry. Steve can't help squeezing his hand in comfort as Tony whispers, "I didn't want - I'm sorry. Please don't take the suit away."
Rhodey visibly melts. "I won't, but you have to realize we're friends, idiot," he says, his voice warm, cuffing Tony very gently on his un-bandaged shoulder. "And just for the record, being an Avenger would be awesome... but I have no intention of joining the team anytime soon. I've heard Captain America's recruitment pitch often enough to know it's not for me right now." He winks at Steve. "So you better plan to stick around for a long time, you hear me? The Avengers need Iron Man, but more than that they need Tony Stark."
"Which is a good thing," Pepper adds. "Because Tony Stark adds a lot more value to the team than I think you realize. But I'll let them tell you about that." She leans forward and kisses Tony on the cheek. "Rhodey and I dropped by the mansion last night to see your 'bots. I think they miss you. Dummy grabbed Rhodey's shirt and wouldn't let go."
"I had to bribe him with my pocket flashlight to get him to release me," Rhodey says. "And I only have two more Army-issued flashlights left, so you better get well soon."
"You went to see my 'bots?" Tony echoes, surprised now, his eyes wide.
"Well, someone has to keep an eye on them. And Dummy likes me best, after all." Rhodey smiles teasingly.
"You keep telling yourself that," says Tony. His smile is a lot more tentative. "Dummy likes Steve the best."
It's the first time Tony has even acknowledged that he's in the room beyond a couple of curious looks. Steve jolts in surprise. "I'm pretty sure you're Dummy's favorite, Tony," he says cautiously, buoyed by the encouraging smiles from Rhodey and Pepper. "You're the only he makes smoothies for."
Tony snorts. "I'm the only one he tries to poison, you mean," he mutters, and then he yawns.
Pepper leans forward, smoothing a few strands of hair away from his forehead. "We're going to have another conversation about this later on when you're out of here," she says. "Especially you and me. There were unresolved things we should have talked about before."
"Hate conversations," Tony mumbles, eyes heavily lidded.
She huffs a laugh, and Steve pretends not to notice that her eyes are damp again. "I know you do, but we're going to have some anyway."
Tony mutters something else, but it's unintelligible. He's already asleep. Pepper brushes her thumb across his jaw and then leans forward to press a kiss to his cheek. "You're such an idiot sometimes," she whispers, but so fondly that it makes Steve's throat ache. When she straightens up, she's giving Steve a firm look.
"We know that Tony has your name," she says, indicating Rhodey with a tip of her head. "And Bucky's name. Just like, I'm guessing, you two have his."
By way of response, Steve shows them the name written on the underside of his arm. He still remembers the day it showed up, before Bucky came back, and part of him regrets not going to Tony the moment he discovered it. "We do. When Tony wakes up, we plan to talk to him about it. Court him, if he'll let us."
Rhodey crosses his arms. "So you plan to bring him into your relationship?"
"If that's something Tony's interested in, yes."
"Why didn't you approach him before?" Pepper asks.
"I can't speak for Bucky, but I didn't know he had my name. Our names. And I was - Tony is... special, and I'm already involved with Bucky. I... I was a coward. I should've said something to him. If I'd known what he was thinking..." Steve trails off, looking down at Tony. He looks so damn fragile when he's sleeping, like anything could break him, and it hurts.
"The only reason why I'm not kicking your ass right now is because we've all fucked up. But if you hurt him any more than you already have, I'll kill you," Rhodey says. "I don't care how hard it will be. I'll find a way. You and Barnes better tread carefully."
"And in the meantime, while Rhodey's figuring out how to kill you, I will ruin you," Pepper says, and she sounds almost cheerful. "I mean it, Steve. I can fuck you up in ways you've never even dreamed. Ways that you can't fight against. Captain America might be untouchable, but Steve Rogers? He's just a man, and I've dealt with plenty of men in my time." Her smile is distinctly unpleasant, promising a world of pain. "Tony is very important to us. Exercise caution with how you treat him."
Steve feels an honest to God chill go down his spine. "I will."
"Good." Pepper stands up. "I have to get back to work, and so does Rhodey. We'll be back to visit him again tonight."
He just nods, watching as they both kiss Tony on the forehead in goodbye, and walk out. Bucky slinks in about two minutes after they go, glancing over his shoulder like he thinks someone might come after him, and says, "Hydra shoulda recruited her. They'd have taken over the world years ago if they had."
"I take it you got the shovel talk too," Steve says, and then, shuddering, adds, "Don't even joke about that, Buck."