Work Text:
roman has been.. off lately.
it wasn’t unusual for the prince to act strangely in the eyes of logan and his more calculating nature, but this was completely out of the ordinary.
over the past week, logan has noticed his boyfriend run down the stairs, only to pause at the bottom step and quickly run back upstairs on multiple occasions.
in the past hour, roman has done so approximately five and a half times.
“roman,” virgil groans from across the room, pulling his hood shut, “just pick a damn floor for everyone’s sake!”
virgil’s plea, normally ignored, seems to finally sink into roman. logan can note the exact moment the complaint registers by the slight change in his boyfriend’s face, and he does.
“sorry, virge.. you know me, always on the move!” he replies before running back up the stairs and audibly locking himself in his room.
logan frowns, closing the book he had previously been reading.
“i’m going to go check on him,” he says, beginning to move toward the stairs.
patton appears to let out a sigh of relief. “thanks, kiddo. he’s been acting a little different this week - hopefully nothing’s bothering him too badly,”
“a little? whatever’s going on to cause that must be pretty serious, pat,” virgil mutters, “that’s some crazy shit, even for me,”
after virgil’s comment sends a pang of worry coursing through him, logan quickly excuses himself and hurries up the stairs.
he makes his way down the hallway, stopping once he’s in front of roman’s door. it practically looms over him, causing his nerves to increase tenfold.
he slowly brings his hand to the door, knocking methodically in the way the two had come up with during one of their late night talks.
“roman?” he calls, hesitantly.
he shouldn’t be nervous. concerned, sure, but not nervous. roman is his boyfriend! he should be able to figure out what’s wrong and reach out and comfort him. roman is always there for him - why can’t he do the same?
he’s scared.
his small panic thoughts are interrupted by the click of a lock. the door to roman’s room drifts open, allowing logan a small glimpse inside.
logan knows his boyfriend likes to keep his room messy. even he himself, one who despises clutter, leaves random textbooks sprawled across his desk in his own room on occasion. however, roman’s version of mess is.. more artistic per se. it’s abstract and precise in a way only the prince can understand. but this? this is far beyond anything he expected to see.
instead of being met with light, cream colored walls scattered with a few vibrant paintings and drawings, logan is entrenched by walls covered in pieces of paper adorned with dark and putrid scribbles and ink stains.
as he steps forward, pushing the door open, he notices the entire room looks more like the gallery of a tortured artist - something that remus would throw together. there seemed to be hidden spotlights facing each wall, illuminating each surface. not one speck has remained untouched by this abstract display - even the furniture in the room is engulfed by mountains of paper.
as his feet brush the surface of yet another pile of these papers, logan’s brown furrows with concern. the entire floor is hidden by a sea of waste, save a small circle surrounding his boyfriend.
the papers closest to him have been shredded and clawed at, painting a picture that reminds him of a scene from roman’s favorite disney movie, beauty and the beast.
the surface of the scraps lies at the prince’s knees as he sits, staring blankly at his hands. they begin to twitch under his gaze, but he makes no sign of registering the movement.
logan swallows. if he was beginning to feel overwhelmed, roman must be drowning.
he trudges through the paper, kicking it out of the way so he can sit in front of roman.
when he looks into his boyfriend’s eyes, he is met with nothing. they’ve lost their sparkle. logan tenses - he’s never seen roman look so.. empty.
slowly, he raises his hands, making sure the other can see. then, he places them into roman’s. he simply holds them, hoping roman will snap out of it.
he doesn’t.
“roman?” logan whispers, voice shaking. he doesn’t even feel the man flinch in reply.
something’s very wrong. obviously, he can see as much, but how could he have not noticed before? how long has roman been behaving like this without him catching on? he liked to pride himself in being observant - how could he have been so careless when it came to something as important as his own boyfriend?
how can he fix this? his mind races as he desperately tries to find a solution. how can he know everything except how to help roman?
“roman,” he decides to choke out (again). he needs to speak with less caution, so he can guide roman out of this.
“roman. can you hear me?”
no reply.
“i read a new book today. i took it from your bookshelf - you really need to read more by the way, there were only five options - after i ran out of new material from my own collection. it was a story about a prince - a brave one, like you - that had to save his princess from a monstrous snake and a crazy jester. as soon as the prince found the princess, however, he was taken prisoner and she was set free. the princess then had to learn how to fight so she could save her prince,”
logan swallows again, “i suppose that’s what i have to do as well. you’re always the one saving me. whenever i’m upset because the pressure is too much or i don’t understand how i’m feeling, you’re always there. i am comforted knowing you’re just one door away from me, watching over me and keeping me safe. i’m.. sorry i couldn’t do that for you. i had no idea you were hiding all of this. i don’t know how you always pick up on my feelings before i do, but i want to learn. i want to learn how to do the same for you, but i need you to teach me.”
he tilts his head down, staring at their now intertwined hands.
“please, roman. i need you to snap out of this. i promise i will do my best to help you, even though i can’t be the brave prince you are,”
logan starts to open his mouth again, but is interrupted by a whisper.
“you already are,” roman forces out, voice sounding rough from crying.
when logan looks up, roman is there. as soon as their eyes meet, logan throws himself forward, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend in a tight embrace.
“roman,” logan says, pressed into roman. he lets out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding.
“sorry,“ roman murmurs.
“what?” logan blurts, confused.
“for worrying you. it won’t happen again,”
logan slowly pulls himself away to look roman in the eye again.
“you don’t need to apologize. i should be the one apologizing. i had no idea you were struggling,” he states, voice breaking.
“well, you found me. i’m fine now,” roman says. he sounds tired, like he hasn’t slept in days.
“you’re clearly not ‘fine’. what’s going on? why is your room covered in your sketches? have you been overworking yourself again? we just had that conversation, and i agreed to stop working extra hours. do i need to make sure you’re doing the same?”
“no, nothing like that. i don’t want to talk about it if that’s okay.” roman averts his gaze, occupying his hands with a piece of scrap.
logan sighs. “i apologize, but we have to talk about this. your room is quite frankly a mess and i discovered you in a practically catatonic state on the floor. this is concerning behavior that is completely abnormal compared to your usual habits,”
he continues, “in fact, you have been exhibiting irregular behavior for the past week. most of the time, when you walked down the stairs, you would near the bottom step before stopping, appearing to remember something, and running back up the stairs, only to attempt another descent and repeat the cycle only a few minutes later. you have neglected to visit the imagination completely, which you usually do atleast twice a day. additionally, you have been avoiding the subject of your art, which, now that i think about it, may be the root of the problem.”
“what gave you that idea?” roman snarks, eyes meeting the contents of one of the papers beside him. after a second, he seems to realize what he said, as he shrinks back into himself.
“sorry,” he sighs, “it’s complicated.”
“complicated how? i would like to help,”
“logan,” roman starts, “i know you want to help, and i thank you, but i don’t think this is as easy to solve as one of those puzzles you love so much.”
“roman,” logan counters, “even if i cannot fix this, i can atleast help you work through it. please, just tell me what’s going on. is someone bothering you again? you know your brother doesn’t mean it when he makes those comments about you-“
“no, everything’s fine with remus. it’s just,” the prince sighs, hiding his head in his hands, “i’m losing my touch,”
“what?” logan asks, surprised.
“i’ve been having trouble with my work recently. that’s it. nothing more to it.”
logan picks up a random piece of paper from next to him and moves it closer to study it.
“what are you doing?” his boyfriend looks up, scanning his face.
logan doesn’t respond. instead, he processes what is on the paper in front of him, and grimaces.
roman’s face drops. “i told you i’ve been having trouble.. none of my work is good any more! i can’t stand it! i-“
“roman,” logan interrupts, “you’ve got it all wrong. it looks like you were drawing something until you suddenly scribbled over it and ripped it up. why would you destroy it?”
“i told you,” the other huffs, “it’s not good enough. it didn’t measure up to my usual standards and quality of work and it definitely wasn’t good enough to present to thomas.”
“firstly, this was perfectly good work. you know you’re exceptionally talented in the arts, everything around us proves it! secondly, i’m sure thomas wouldn’t mind. anything you create is good enough. you shouldn't hold it to such harsh standards.“
“that’s the thing! my standards aren’t even that harsh, lo. the issue is i haven’t been able to get my ideas across in the way that i normally can! it’s like a mental block or something. i physically can’t make something that i’m proud of, no matter how much work i put into it. it’s like i’m stuck and i can’t pull myself out of this stupid pile of.. failure,” he rants, shoving some of the pile surrounding him.
“would you hand me a paper?” logan asks calmly.
still breathing harshly, roman collects himself before sheepishly replying, “i may have used all of it,”
“that’s okay, i just need a pen then..” he says offhandedly as he selects another piece from the floor.
after nodding his thanks, he begins to silently draw a picture. it’s a botched portrait of roman that takes him less than a minute to complete. he then presents it to said prince, who has a fascinated look on his face.
when he sees the drawing, he laughs. “thanks lo! it looks just like me,”
logan gives a small smile along with him, before taking hold of the paper and tearing it in half.
“hey! what was that for?” roman’s face drops as he mourns the sketch.
“that’s what you should be asking yourself,” he replies, satisfied.
“wait - are you trying to pavlov me into feeling sad whenever art is torn apart?”
“is it working?”
“maybe..” his boyfriend blushes a little, embarrassed, “i mean.. it still doesn’t really have the same effect when applied to my own art. looking around the room makes me want to shred something again,”
“well,” logan hums, “there is one more trick we can try,”
“and what might that be?” the prince asks, narrowing his eyes.
“making something together. here, we can share this paper..”
as he moves to sit against roman’s side, the taller smiles at him. he smiles back.
the two end up drawing a scene of them enjoying a picnic in the imagination. they are lying on a hill that overlooks a beautiful meadow, staring up at the clouds trying to find any recognizable shapes.
by the time they finish the picture, roman has begun to laugh again, and is acting more like himself.
“wow, logan, i love this!“
“so it worked then?”
“what worked?”
“you don’t want to tear it apart?”
“of course not - we created it together! it’s a symbol of our love!” the prince proclaims dramatically.
after admiring their work, the two get up and begin to clean up the mess that has swamped roman’s room for far too long.
“you know i could just snap all of this junk out of here?”
“you and i both know it’s more symbolic to clean it up ourselves. i thought you lived for that kind of thing,” logan jests.
“of course i do! you know me so well,” roman replies with a wink.
once they finish, logan moves to put their new picture on the wall. his boyfriend beams at the sight.
“want to go have a real picnic?” the shorter asks, knowing the likely answer will be a profound-
“yes!”
he watches as roman runs out of the room giddily and smiles again. before logan follows, he gives one last glance at the picture behind him.
. . .
“thanks for helping today, lo. seriously. it means a lot,”
“you’re my boyfriend, i think i owe it to you,” logan thinks for a second, before continuing, “do you think we solved your issue?”
“mostly,” roman replies honestly, “i’ll still always have trouble with that sort of thing. it would really help if you could draw more often..”
“of course i’ll draw with you more if it keeps you from destroying all of your work,” he sighs, “or, more importantly, yourself. besides, i found it quite fun,”
“that’s the spirit!”
“wait, you never told me why you’ve been avoiding the imagination,”
“oh.. that’s because when i’m frustrated, a storm cloud follows me around everywhere. i got sick of getting rained on,” roman blushes.
logan processes this for a second before bursting into a fit of genuine laughter, prompting the prince to hide his face in the shorter’s sleeve.
“promise me you won’t tell anyone, logan!”
“i don’t know if i can.. maybe if you let me have that last bit of crofters i can see behind you,”
“you addict! i’m not giving you anything, i’m the one that was in emotional distress today!”
“really? well i’m the one who fixed everything!”
the two spend the next four hours going back and forth. patton has to request that remus track them down and literally drag them back to the house for dinner.