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Meijack eyed her father open another bottle. They were alone in the living room but mom would be coming back at any point now, while Puck and Fler were playing in their bedroom. Meijack had nothing to do, but it was okay, she liked to just sit with dad sometimes. He was often tired, after all.
She wasn’t like her sisters, she didn’t need for there to be interesting things happening or to be loud, she liked the quiet. Dad would sometimes ruffle her hair and say she was more mature than her younger sisters, and it made her happy. So she sat on the couch with her dad, and enjoyed the calm early afternoon next to him.
The bottle was small enough to fit comfortably in his hand and the lid came off with a pop.
He noticed her eyes on him and stilled for a moment. Then he broke into a wide smile. "Don’t tell mom, okay? It’ll be our little secret." He winked.
His smile was contagious, especially when targeted at her. She nodded.
Something like fond pride flickered in his eyes as he looked at her.
"Attagirl." He ruffled her hair, and she giggled in huffs.
She felt a rush of pride even though she didn’t know why. Why she should feel proud, except that her dad looked at her like she should, or why it should be a secret, except that her dad said it was one, or even what the secret was, really.
Our little secret. She didn’t know why it was important, but she liked sharing something with him, craved it. Our little secret.
It was like a game, almost. It was like playing, sort of. Wasn’t it?
And then he sipped his bottle, and they went back to doing nothing.
The drink smelled weird, but she’d gotten used to it long ago. He had given her a taste one time, chuckling when she grimaced at the sourness. She didn’t understand why anyone would want to drink it. When she’d asked, once, he had told her with a laugh that you get used to the taste. But what was there to a drink other than its taste?
He’d tell her jokes once in a while, and she’d crack smiles. She stayed quiet, and when she opened her mouth to say something she realized that it was because she didn’t know what to talk about. But he was cheery today, so she smiled.
She heard a door open, and quickly her dad took the empty bottle, the one he had finished when it was just the two of them, and hid it under the cushion next to him on the couch. Then he took in hand again the bottle he had opened, halfway drunk, and leaned casually against his side.
Mom walked into the room, holding a sewing kit and an old shirt. She made her way to her rocking chair, and Meijack snickered when she sat down, as if nothing was special. It was funny, that her mom wasn’t even aware that there was a secret. Meijack knew, though.
She was happy. A secret, just the two of them.
She smiled, couldn’t stop herself from it.
Her mom raised an eyebrow at her. "Well, someone is cheerful today." She looked confused, but a small smile pulled at her lips. She looked to her dad, but her dad shrugged.
Her eyes flicked between her mom and her dad.
Meijack stared, stifled a giggle behind her hand.
Mom’s head snapped up, looked at her truly puzzled now.
Her dad looked at her too, with a frown. His smile had become tense.
"Stop that. I won’t let you in on things anymore." He hushed under his breath, but it came out as a hiss. "Trolls will get you if you don’t behave."
She gasped, but shut her mouth. Trolls wouldn’t find you if you were quiet. Trolls weren’t supposed to come out in the day in the first place, but she did it more because it reassured mom and dad, anyways.
But she had already ruined it. Exchanged too many suspicious glances with him, conspiratorial, and flickered her eyes to her mom too much, knowing.
"What? What’s going on?" Her mom called out, frowned.
Her eyes flicked to the cushion. They both noticed.
Her mom didn’t look like she was having fun when she walked forward and snatched the cushion away. His smile finally cracked and crumbled.
She had ruined it. She didn’t understand, games weren’t supposed to spoil like spilled milk.
Her mom didn’t smile when she noticed the bottle he had tried to hide. Mom didn’t look proud of him.
And her dad didn’t look at her like he was proud of her anymore.
He didn’t look at her for the rest of the afternoon really, but it was okay, Meijack understood. He was often tired, after all.
It was noisy in the living room.
Flertom was in her room playing dolls with Patti. They were arguing over how much things at the market should cost, that Dollie wouldn’t have enough to buy both the apples and the necklace, but it was cut off when Mei opened the door.
Before she closed the door behind them, for just a moment they could hear the volume of mom and dad’s voices clearly.
"It was your fourth bottle already! Don’t-"
"I can do what-!"
Clack.
"It’s time to go to bed, it’s getting late. I brushed my teeth already but you two should go do that." Meijack’s calm voice said.
Fler fiddled with Dollie’s dress. Patti was keeping silent, looking at her to see what she’d do, so she hummed uncomfortably while she thought. "Can’t we do that later?"
Mei was a stickler, so it surprised Fler when she walked to the bed instead of insisting. "Well later don’t complain to me that I didn’t tell you."
Patti and her looked to each other, equally surprised and confused. Patti let her plush fall from her hands and Fler grumbled when it knocked down the makeshift market stands of wooden blocks. Patti hurried to change into her pajamas and tucked herself into bed next to Meijack, who sometimes slept in the middle because Patti and Fler always talked instead of sleeping otherwise.
Meanwhile, Fler tucked Dollie down on the carpet as if she was sitting, sitting up Patti’s plush next to her and neatly grouped the wooden blocks. If she squinted right they almost looked like they sat at a table together. With that done, she quietly slinked up to the door…
She pressed her hand against the wood, and then ear, and even her cheek. Their words seeped through the cracks of the door anyways, enough for all of them half-foots as they were to hear, but Fler had always liked to have a hand on matters, to be up close to things.
She felt the vibrations of their voices through her palm.
"Can’t you at least eat dinner?"
"What, so I die stepping on a trap at work and you be rid of me?"
She wondered if there was anything she could do, even though she didn’t have all the pieces of the puzzle, even though she didn’t know what picture it was supposed to make when it all came together. Her hand itched to fix something even before her mouth did the same. Her eyes were open but all she saw was wood and wall.
Where were the cracks? What would it even look like, fixed? It wasn’t like when she helped mom patch a hole on a knit sweater. Her fingers tingled but she didn’t know what to do with them.
"You know what they told you last time. It can’t be good for you. Please-"
"That’s my choice. You think it isn’t but it is, and I’m the one who gets to say if it is!"
"You’re not the only one in this family!"
"This family?! And who works for this family?"
"Us. We both do."
"Doesn’t feel like it."
"… No, it doesn’t."
"Hah! And what do you m-"
"Stop it. It’s useless to argue when you’re like this."
"Oh-ho? Not worth talking to when I’m like this? When I’m what?"
"Shh, don’t raise your voice!"
"You think I’m being unpleasant? Why don’t we get second opinions then? Scared that they’ll side with me?"
"Don’t!"
Fler blinked when she heard the tinge of fear in her voice. She was scared? Scared of what?
Then she heard the footsteps. Thunks, heavier than both her mom’s and her dad’s which were usually so weightless. The rhythm of the steps was unrecognizable too, and for a moment Fler wondered if there was a stranger in her house. They were coming towards her.
Flertom jolted backwards and scrambled towards the bed. Mei had her back turned to the door laying in bed, but Patti was looking at Fler with wide eyes. She jumped under the covers yet turned back, couldn’t help but stay sitting up, facing towards the door.
When the door opened, she found she wasn’t surprised when the figure that stood there was her dad, swaying into the doorframe.
She seized up. What should she be scared of? Why was she?
The door hadn’t been opened quickly but it still hit the wall, finishing its swing until the doorknob struck hollow.
He stood there, and it was weird somehow. She couldn’t pinpoint it. Then he spoke with her dad’s voice. "Girls, do you find your dad hard to talk to?"
There was silence. Fler heard her heartbeat, faintly, distantly.
"No." Mei said, but her voice was quiet.
He spun on himself to grin at mom, who had come running just behind him with a worried expression. His feet faltered under him.
He stepped into the room and the floorboard creaked under his foot. His foot, usually so light and silent. Cold shot through her.
"Do you think I’m unpleasant?" His tone felt blurred, words hitting the wrong beats and tones, like a cheap imitation.
"No." Fler’s voice worked faster than her brain, and it sounded more confident than she felt.
"You love dad, don’t you?"
He stepped closer, stood in the center of the space between their bed and the door, and something about it made Fler lean back slightly. Closer like this, even while his eyes were shadowed by his brows she could see they looked like glass.
Both her and Mei looked back to Patti, expecting her to speak for them this time. Patti was staring, her expression unreadable.
Then she blinked, noticed all the eyes on her, but still only looked at dad. She piped up, all honest and well-meaning. "Sorry, what was the question?"
He clicked his tongue and it was as loud as metal clattering to the floor. " Unerma ." He whispered, but they still heard.
Mom gasped. "Don’t cuss!"
Patti scooted closer into Mei. Flertom stared at dad and mom. If there was an emotion that had flashed on dad’s face, she couldn’t read it.
He turned on his heel and muttered strings of words she didn’t understand, leaving the room as quickly as he had pushed himself into it.
Leaving silence behind him again, only the thunks of his feet going to the living room. Only then Fler realized how tightly she held onto the blanket.
Mom walked into the room, and Fler leaned forward even before she reached their bed and put a hand on her shoulder. Fler wanted a hug, though she didn’t know why.
"Alright girls, time to sleep." And her voice was as steady as it always was. She encouraged Fler to lie down and she let herself fall back onto her pillow, her curls bunching up around her.
"But mom, me and Fler haven’t brushed our teeth yet." Patti piped up.
Mom’s face strained. "Well, for today it’s okay if you just do it early tomorrow."
Why? Fler didn’t know but she felt like she should. None of them asked.
They all leaned on their back as mom tucked them in under the blanket, her smile turning soft as she kissed each of them on the forehead, Flertom, Meijack and Puckpatti.
She smoothened her hand on the covers. She hesitated, then spoke. "Trolls come out at night, so all of you stay in bed."
"Yes, mom." They all said in unison, and she nodded, patted the covers. She blew out the candle with a breath and walked out of the bedroom, now dark and blue. She paused in the doorway, looking back over her shoulder, and called out gently. "Goodnight, dears."
Then she closed the door behind her, so softly it only made the slightest sound. Her footsteps were small but still audible when she walked down the hall.
Fler jumped back out of bed, hurrying to the door. She knew how to make her footsteps weightless, too.
The door was cold under her touch. She kept her ear away from the door, this time. The voices were more hushed now, but she heard them all the same.
"You shouldn’t have."
"What, scared I’ll traumatize them or some shit?"
"You say that as if it was so silly a notion."
A beat of silence that felt so charged, like something that can shatter caught a second just before it fell.
Thunk. Bubbling anger.
"Well maybe I’ll go out tonight then, if I’m not wanted in this house!"
Thunk, thunk, thunk.
Mom didn’t tell him don’t, this time.
Clack!
Even from so far away, her fine ears so useful for snooping heard her mom let out a breath of relief.
Relief. Flertom suddenly understood what the weight that just left her chest had been.
The house fell quiet.
Puckpatti opened her eyes. She blinked into the darkness.
It took a minute for her eyes to adjust as she stared at the ceiling, but the parched dryness in her throat screamed at her right from the second she realized she was awake.
She was thirsty… She hadn’t drank her glass of water after brushing her teeth like she usually did.
Puckpatti tried to sleep, tried to be good, but she knew she wouldn’t be able to fall asleep again like this. Her throat itched. If she rolled in bed too much she’d wake up her sisters too.
She blinked, and blinked, and blinked. And nothing changed. All she could sense when she barely even saw her surroundings was the unpleasant feeling in her mouth.
So slowly, she sat up. Meijack and Flertom didn’t stir at all, so she pushed her side of the blanket and slid her toes onto the floor. The ground was cold under her feet, the air was chilly around her, rooms were big and dark and intimidating, but she had to.
She walked to the door, doing her best to make her steps light and not wake anyone up.
She grabbed the door to open it but the doorknob blocked. The door was locked.
Had mom turned the lock on when she had left? Without the key, it could only be opened from their side.
Trolls come out at night. She remembered mom’s warning to stay in bed, but she really had to.
Dad and mom often warned them about trolls, who would kidnap people and replace them, pretending to be humans. There were troll kids and troll parents too. They turned to rock in sunlight, but not always. Flertom had said she didn’t believe in them once and Meijack hadn’t contradicted her, but Puckpatti knew better. Puckpatti had seen one.
The door didn’t make a sound as she opened it, dad always talked about the importance of oiling hinges after all. Puckpatti stepped out, and that was when she heard it.
Thump. Thump, thump.
Thumps of footsteps, as if the body was as heavy as stone. Her breath hitched. Dad was still out of the house when she’d fallen asleep. Was he back…? This didn’t sound like dad’s footsteps.
In the dark of the hallway she saw a figure appear, turning the corner. Thump, thump, thump. If it wasn’t for the hunched posture, they’d have looked exactly like dad.
No, it wasn’t him. It heaved a guttural noise as it moved. The troll.
And it was coming towards her. Puckpatti hurried back into the bedroom, poking just her eyes out. She clasped her hand over her mouth and nose, holding her breath so not a noise would slip out.
Mom was asleep, but not even her could face a troll anyways. Puckpatti still touched her forehead where mom had kissed it like it was a protection charm.
It approached, trudged closer, but turned into the bathroom like it was where it wanted to go. She perked up thinking it was her chance, but even though a noise like a stream of water started, it didn’t close the door.
Puckpatti bit her lip, but forced herself to go. She went as quickly as she could while walking on her tippy toes. Trolls were stupid, it was fine, she could walk past one without it noticing, it was fine. She didn’t dare breathe as she went, but she couldn’t help herself from looking into the dark doorway as she passed by the bathroom. It stood in front of the bucket toilet. It was only a second before she sneaked past but the image was stuck in her mind.
It was just like a troll to go to the bathroom without even closing the door. She could always tell when it was the troll and not dad like this, because he would behave weird and smile too much.
Quiet as a mouse, she reached the kitchen. She had had to start breathing small instead of not at all on the way, but now she let herself inhale and exhale greedily.
She tried to pour water from the bottle into her mug as quietly as she could, not letting herself stay out for longer than she needed to be. Her head tipped back as she drank, the wonderfully cold water spreading a gentle peace through her. She wasn’t careful and audibly gulped once— she stilled, but heard no movement, so she drank again.
She finished her glass feeling soothed and refreshed, her body buzzing comfortably. She poured herself a bit more water just in case, but not too much that it would make her wake up again to go to the bathroom.
Thump, thump, thump, thump.
She froze. The troll was coming back. She tucked herself in the corner of the kitchen and put her hands on her mouth when the troll came into view, walking down the hallway with heavy uneven steps.
She made herself small in the shadows, but she hadn’t even needed to, the troll didn’t look in her direction at all. It trudged past the kitchen into the living room, and she heard it fall onto the couch. She heard a groan and stirring, but nothing more. It settled and breathed loudly, but made no other noises.
She drank her small glass quickly, and tiptoed back out of the kitchen into less secure territory.
Turning the corner, her toes unexpectedly caught the wall and hit it. Bam!
Ouch… Her eyes widened- She wanted to shout in pain but she couldn’t, so she touched her forehead instead, willing the waves of pain in her foot to go away. She couldn’t walk like this, had to wait, so she waited in horror for the troll to come and find her because of the noise she made.
It didn’t. It just continued breathing. Trolls were stupid, it was okay.
She waited just long enough that her toes felt sore instead of flaring. She hurried back to her room, letting herself make slight noises on the way if it got her there faster, and locked the door behind her.
She felt lighter when she settled back under the covers, and when she breathed out it was unrestrained. She shuffled closer to Flertom in the middle of their bed and made sure none of her toes and fingers peeked out from under the blanket, lest something steal them.
She hoped this time again, in the morning the troll would have left and dad would be back safely. The only thing they could do was wait for the troll in him to be encased in rock once more.