Archive of Our Own

Kaveh was beyond exhausted. He’d had a busy day finalizing sketches, meeting with clients, changing the sketches, and so on. He’d stayed late at the tavern in an attempt to cheer himself up. It hadn’t worked very well. Eventually he gave up and started home. A good night’s sleep should make everything better.

Just his luck, Alhaitham is waiting for him in the dimly–lit living room. 

“I see you’re home late. Been drinking?” he asked. 

“None of your business,” Kaveh replied, removing his cape. Alhaitham stood up and walked over to him.

“You smell like wine,” he noticed.

“What do you want from me?!” Kaveh asked, crossing his arms indignantly. Can’t Alhaitham just leave him alone? Why is he acting like Kaveh has a curfew? It’s not a crime to go out and have a little fun.

“For you to stop coming home on the verge of blacking out,” Alhaitham huffed. Kaveh scoffed. He’s so dramatic, isn’t he?

“What do you care?” he mumbled to himself. 

“I don’t want you knocked out on my kitchen table again,” Alhaitham frowned. There he goes again, only thinking about himself.

“That was one time!”

“And I don’t want it happening again.”

“Why can’t you just stay out of it?” Kaveh put his hands on his hips. It’s none of Alhaitham’s business what he does with his personal life.

“You can’t keep doing this to yourself, Kaveh,” Alhaitham said, coldly. That was not what Kaveh expected to hear. “Do you really think this is going to make anything better?”

“I…” Kaveh didn’t know how to reply. Usually he’d have a snappy comeback for Alhaitham, but this was completely different from what he was used to hearing. Gone was the bitter and judgmental tone he always used when scolding Kaveh. Now he sounds genuinely concerned.

“You’re not arguing.” Alhaitham almost sounded grateful. “You’re listening to me.”

“You’re right.” Kaveh sighed. He didn’t like saying it. He never liked saying it. But he said it a lot. “I can’t… This isn’t…” He mumbled to himself. Poor, conflicted Kaveh, let his head fall on Alhaitham’s shoulder. Alhaitham tensed, but let him stay.

“I’m glad you realized,” he said. “I don’t like seeing you like this.”

Kaveh huffed. “I know, I know, I’m an eyesore.” 

Alhaitham pulled his head back and looked the blond in the eyes. “No, Kaveh, I don’t want to see you hurt yourself like this.” It was the most emotion Kaveh had ever heard in his voice. He felt his knees go weak and he suddenly felt the strong desire to kiss him. 

“You… don’t?” he asked, dazed. 

“Of course not. Kaveh, I–” Alhaitham took a deep breath. “Believe it or not, but I don’t want to see you suffer. I… I care about you.” He sounded so pained. Kaveh wondered if he still would’ve said that, had Kaveh been sober. He didn’t care. He said it, and he hoped to Gods he wouldn’t forget it in the morning. It was the sweetest thing Alhaitham had ever said to him. And it drove him crazy.

“You care about me?” He repeated, a small smile creeping up. Alhaitham groaned.

“I regret saying that…” he rolled his eyes. His pretty eyes. They looked like the fiery setting sun reflected upon an emerald sea. Kaveh would gladly drown in them. 

“But you meant it?” Kaveh asked. He gazed at his roommate with all the love and adoration he could muster. For some reason, he didn’t feel nervous about it. Usually the idea of actually flirting with Alhaitham seemed terrifying. But now it was easy. Probably because of the alcohol.

“Yes,” Alhaitham confirmed. Kaveh felt giddy. Maybe his roommate isn't as cold as he thinks. He’s sort of… sweet actually. Kaveh desperately wanted to kiss him. He wants those pretty lips on his. This new side of Alhaitham drew Kaveh insane with desire. Please, Alhaitham… He’s so close… Kaveh can feel his breath on his face. He gives in to temptation.

“I love you,” he whispered and kissed Alhaitham. Gently, so as not to scare him. It might be too late for that, though. Could Kaveh have said anything less scary? But he couldn’t stop himself. Alhaitham had said something so sweet so it was only fair that Kaveh say something in return. 

Alhaitham’s lips were so soft… and so warm… Kaveh could kiss them forever. He could kiss them over and over again and never tire of it. It’d certainly be an easy way to get the scholar to shut up . Eventually their lips parted, and Kaveh couldn’t keep from smiling.

“You kissed me,” Alhaitham stated, expression unreadable. His expression might always be considered unreadable, but not to Kaveh. He could easily discern his roommates' little micro-expressions. Usually. This one was too complicated. But Kaveh knew it wasn’t good. 

“I did,” Kaveh said, warily. Did he not like it?

“Kaveh…” He trailed off. He sounded so tired. Tired wasn’t good. Kaveh’s heart plummeted. 

“Did you… did you not like it?” He asked. He was so scared to ask. Why did he do that? Alhaitham may be pretty and sweet and actually care about him, but he’s still Alhaitham. He’s selfish and stubborn and just so difficult! He doesn’t even do relationships. Especially not one with his roommate. Kaveh didn’t even know if he liked boys or not. And he just kissed him. Without asking. Gods, Kaveh felt guilty.

“Kaveh, let’s discuss this once you’re sober.” Alhaitham wouldn’t meet Kaveh’s gaze. Was he angry? Embarrassed? 

“No, now. Tell me now. Did you like it?” He grabbed Alhaitham’s hand as a desperate act. He needed to know. He may have just jeopardized their friendship. Hell, he may have just jeopardized his living situation! He deserved to know now, so he wasn’t up all night thinking about it. Worrying about it. Dreaming about it.

Focus, Kaveh.

“I…” Alhaitham sounded so, so tired, and so, so confused. Kaveh desperately wanted to kiss that precious face again, but that would not be helpful right now. “We’ll discuss this once you’re sober,” he said again. Kaveh felt his eyes sting with tears. Tears? Is he crying ? Gods, how pathetic. How pathetic he is for this man. 

“Please, Haitham!” Kaveh begged. “Would you do it again? Tell me that, at least.”

Alhaitham didn't say anything. He gave Kaveh one of the saddest expressions he'd ever seen in his life. It nearly split Kaveh’s poor heart in two. Without warning, Alhaitham put a rough hand on Kaveh's cheek, and pulled him in for another kiss. Kaveh absolutely melted . Did he change Alhaitham’s mind? Had he just been holding back this whole time? Did he mentally go through every possible decision he could make and determined this was the right one?

Kaveh didn’t care. He didn’t want to think about it. He didn’t want to think at all. He just wanted to melt into the kiss.

This kiss was so much more intense than the first. Kaveh wrapped his arms around Alhaitham's waist, hugging him closer. Kaveh wanted to deepen the kiss, but before he could act on that, Alhaitham was the one licking his lips. Interesting. He let him in and let their tongues tangle together.

Kaveh pulled away to catch his breath, both of them painting like dogs, but he didn't have long before Alhaitham captured his pretty lips again. He's almost as desperate as Kaveh is. Kaveh let that thought echo in his mind. He's almost as desperate as I am. 

Alhaitham let out a low, quiet moan. Barely even audible, but it sent Kaveh's heart racing and a shiver up his spine. What an adorable sound. Could he hear more? He pulled Alhaitham closer and kissed him a little harder. Alhaitham melted like butter in Kaveh's arms. He ran his hands through Kaveh’s hair, pulling out the clips and letting his honey-blond locks drape over his shoulders. Had he been in his right mind, Kaveh would’ve scolded him. He didn’t want to lose his hair clips! But that was the last thing on his mind right now. If he kept kissing like this, Alhaitham could do anything he wanted. 

Soon, Alhaitham grew much noisier, sighing and moaning with every movement. He clung to Kaveh like he was a lifeline.

Oh.

Alhaitham’s much more desperate than I am.

The realization was utterly thrilling. Alhaitham wanted him. He kissed Kaveh with the intensity of a starving lion. He pulled on Kaveh’s pretty hair, drawing out moans from the elder. Every time they parted for air, it was like Alhaitham couldn’t bear to wait that long before kissing Kaveh again.

Kaveh wanted to run his hands through that soft, fluffy hair. He wanted to hold Alhaitham’s flushed cheeks. But Alhaitham might collapse if Kaveh let go of his waist. So, Kaveh lifted him up. There were no objections from the younger, besides a particularly drawn-out moan, which could hardly be considered an objection. While he sat on Kaveh’s left arm, Kaveh brought his right up to his face. He put a hand on his cheek, and Alhaitham leaned into the gentle touch. He wrapped his legs around Kaveh’s waist to support himself. Those long, perfect legs… Kaveh was surprised by how light he was. He had no trouble balancing him on one arm, even while absolutely wasted. 

Alhaitham pulled away just enough to ask a question.

“Are you gonna remember this tomorrow?” he asked. 

“Gods, I hope so.” Kaveh did his best to take in Alhaitham’s gorgeous face at this moment and commit it to memory. He couldn’t begin to express how disappointed he’d be if he forgot. Those dazzling eyes looked into his own, full of uncertainty. Kaveh didn’t like that. He wanted to kiss Alhaitham’s worries away. 

“What’s wrong? Why do you look so sad?” Kaveh cooed, like he was talking to a kitten. 

“I think I fucked up,” Alhaitham whispered, shaking in Kaveh’s arms.

“What do you mean?” Kaveh brushed his gray hair out of his eyes.

“Put me down, Kaveh,” Alhaitham asked. As much as he didn’t want to, Kaveh obeyed. Alhaitham looked away and bit his thumb nervously.

“Are you okay?” Kaveh asked.

“Kaveh I am so, so… ” A heavy sigh and a long pause. “I wasn’t trying to take advantage of you. Please know that.” Kaveh rarely ever heard Alhaitham use the word ‘please.’ How upset was he?

“What are you talking about?” Kaveh asked with a chuckle, and took Alhaitham’s face in his hands. Alhaitham couldn’t bring himself to pry Kaveh’s hands away. 

“I didn’t mean to take advantage of you. I know there’s a chance you might not forget. And I don’t want you to think I was taking advantage of you. I’m so sorry. I’m so—” Alhaitham stopped himself. “Please don’t hate me,” he said in a small voice.

“Why would I hate you, Haitham?” Kaveh couldn’t begin to wrap his head around Alhaitham’s thought process. If only he knew how to turn that big brain off .  

“You’d get upset that I kissed you,” Alhaitham said.

“But I kissed you first, though.”

“But you’re drunk. I’m not. I should’ve known better.”

“Does this mean you love me too?” Kaveh asked with a stupid smile. Alhaitham’s cheeks flushed and he looked away. Kaveh didn’t know he could fluster the scribe like that. It was adorable.

“I’m not answering that,” was all he said.

“So yes?” 

Alhaitham’s cheeks darkened. “I said I’m not answering that.”

Kaveh grabbed his chin between his fingers and made Alhaitham look at him. He looked so nervous and innocent. He ran his thumb over Alhaitham’s lips. His pretty lips… Alhaitham couldn’t keep himself from kissing it.

“See, you do. You do love me,” Kaveh said triumphantly. 

“Don’t say that. Please don’t say that.” Alhaitham’s pretty eyes were glistening. Was he… crying? Alhaitham didn’t cry. Right?

“So it’s true, isn’t it?” Kaveh asked.

“What does it matter?” He grumbled, refusing to look Kaveh in the eyes.

“Because I love you, too,” Kaveh leaned in to kiss him again. Alhaitham pulled away.

“No. You don’t know what you’re saying. You’ve said much stranger things when drunk and forgotten all about it in the morning. You’ll forget this too. Things will go back to the way they were. You stuck at your desk for eight hours a day, me at the Akademiya, and both of us too busy for a relationship. No matter how much it hurts.” Alhaitham whispered the last part. Kaveh still heard.

“How long, Hayi?” He ran a hand through that silver hair. Alhaitham looked up at him, surprised by the nickname. He hadn’t heard that one in a long time.

“Hm?” 

“How long have you loved me?” Kaveh asked. Alhaitham bit his lip. He wanted to lie. He wanted to tell him anything but the truth. It’s not going to make anything easier. It’ll only make poor, wasted Kaveh even more conflicted. The last thing he wants is to hurt Kaveh. He doesn’t want him to wake up tomorrow, angry with Alhaitham for taking advantage of him. Alhaitham didn’t mean to. Kaveh had kissed him first. It was hard enough for him to stop when he did. He had held it in for as long as he could. He’d held it in for—

“Fifteen years,” he admitted. Nothing could’ve prepared him for the look on Kaveh’s face. They had known each other for fifteen years. And Alhaitham had loved him for all of them. 

“Oh, Alhaitham…” Kaveh said, voice full of misery. 

“Just… We’ll discuss this tomorrow. Once you’re sober,” Alhaitham lied. He prayed to the Lesser Lord that Kaveh would forget. That things could go back to how they were. He knew Kaveh was only acting like this because of how drunk he was. He couldn’t bear to have Kaveh mad at him. And not like, annoyed or pissed off like he gets after their frequent arguments. But genuinely, deeply upset. Alhaitham refused to even entertain the idea. He couldn’t bear the thought of Kaveh mad at him.

And he’ll be mad if he remembers what Alhaitham did to him. With him. Because of him. It doesn’t matter. Kaveh will be mad, and Alhaitham will be heartbroken . 

Alhaitham didn’t like that word, but it was the most accurate one there was. He’d be utterly heartbroken by Kaveh’s rejection. It’s why he never shared his feelings in the first place. Why risk their already fragile friendship by revealing this? Kaveh’s one of the few people he actually enjoys being with. He can’t lose his friendship. 

Alhaitham refuses to even consider the possibility of Kaveh accepting and even reciprocating his feelings. Why? What an excellent question. He has a very detailed and well thought-out answer. If Alhaitham were to consider this outcome, it would only bring his hopes up and make him emotionally invested. In doing so, he’d cease to think logically about decisions surrounding his relationship with Kaveh and act only with his heart, which could only lead to disaster. Alhaitham can’t let himself get emotionally invested. He operates on the assumption that Kaveh will reject him, no matter what. 

It’s got him through fifteen years so far, so it must be working.

Kaveh let out a long, heavy sigh, and finally complied with Alhaitham’s wishes. “Okay,” he said, softly. “We can talk about it tomorrow.”

With that, Alhaitham scurried off to his room, eager to forget the whole thing. Okay, maybe not the whole thing. Just the awkward parts. He absolutely wanted to remember kissing Kaveh. He’d finally kissed Kaveh.

The thought echoed in his mind as he crawled into bed.

He had finally kissed Kaveh. And it was amazing. Besides the wine (which honestly didn’t taste too bad), he tasted like honey and sugar and Zaytun peaches. An utterly delectable combination. Alhaitham kept replaying the kiss in his head. The way he could hear Kaveh’s heart beating out of his chest. The way Kaveh so easily lifted him up and the way he held him ever so gently. Like he knew how fragile Alhaitham was. 

A part of him lamented ever asking that stupid question. If Kaveh’s going to forget it all anyways he might have gotten everything he wanted. 

He wouldn’t have taken advantage of Kaveh like that, though. No matter how badly he wanted it. It wouldn’t be worth it unless Kaveh was in his right mind and knew full well what he was getting into with Alhaitham.

But with how eagerly Kaveh reciprocated the kiss, Alhaitham wouldn’t be surprised if he’d gone further on his own accord. Alhaitham honestly didn’t know if he could’ve stopped himself at that point. He would’ve let Kaveh have him. He would’ve begged for it. 

As much as he wished it weren’t true, he desperately wanted it. He wanted Kaveh. He wanted to feel those lips on every inch of his skin. He wanted those hands to touch him everywhere, turn him into a shivering mess. He wanted to hear Kaveh say his name over and over, praising him, loving him. He wanted to see those eyes full of passion and desire. He wanted that scarlet gaze above him, burning through him. He wanted Kaveh buried deep inside him.

It wasn’t the first time Alhaitham had such thoughts, and it certainly wouldn't be the last. He just wished it didn’t hurt as much as it did.

***

In his own room, Kaveh was pacing back and forth, too upset to sleep. He couldn’t sleep yet. Alhaitham was right. He wouldn’t remember this. And based on the way Alhaitham was acting, Kaveh doubted he actually wanted to continue their conversation in the morning. 

Fighting off his tiredness, he pulled a pencil and a bit of scrap paper out of his desk. He wrote himself a message. It felt so pathetic. Kaveh buried his face in his hands. It was necessary, though. He wasn’t going to risk it. He didn’t want to forget that kiss. That amazing kiss. He didn’t want to forget the way Alhaitham melted into his arms, eager to give Kaveh total control. Alhaitham loved him. He loves Alhaitham. Why is this so complicated? Why won’t Alhaitham accept his feelings? He’s drunk, not delusional. He’s not going to make up these feelings from thin air. They've been there a while. Maybe not as long as fifteen fucking years, but still. 

Kaveh layed in bed, trying to walk himself through Alhaitham’s thought process. He thinks Kaveh is only confessing because he’s drunk. While Kaveh won’t deny that the alcohol definitely caused him to confess a lot sooner than he wanted to, it definitely didn’t conjure up these feelings from nothing. Kaveh truly and deeply loves him. He just wished Alhaitham would see it. 

Alhaitham thinks Kaveh is going to wake up tomorrow and regret it, right? That is, if he remembers anything. Well, Kaveh will just have to prove him wrong. First thing tomorrow, Kaveh will greet Alhaitham with a “good morning, sweetheart,” and a gentle kiss. 

Kaveh knew it wouldn’t just be a gentle kiss. 

He can’t help himself. Alhaitham is just so pretty and so adorable, he has to kiss him. Even when he’s ranting about something he’s studying that Kaveh doesn’t quite understand. Even when he’s scolding Kaveh for falling asleep at his desk and not taking breaks. Because underneath it all, Alhaitham cares about him. And he loves him so much. Kaveh can’t not want to kiss him.

He recalled their kiss earlier that night. It was absolutely magical. Alhaitham letting Kaveh’s hair down, running his hands through it. How eagerly he let Kaveh lift him up. Every sweet little sound he made. His desperate little sounds. Alhaitham had practically been begging for more. If he hadn’t asked that stupid question, Kaveh would’ve given it to him. Everything he wanted and then some. 

Gods, how Kaveh wanted to give it to him.

He wanted to make the man scream, begging for more, begging for Kaveh. While those pretty black nails scratched up his back, and those perfect lips bruised his skin all over. Kaveh wanted to feel it. He wanted to feel all of it. Alhaitham’s nails, his teeth, his insides. Kaveh wanted it more than anything. 

He’s hopeless, isn’t he?

And that was his last thought before he fell asleep.

The next morning he woke up with a nasty headache. Maybe last night he’d left himself a glass of water? He reached over onto his nightstand. No water, but he felt a scrap of paper. He couldn’t make out the messy scrawl on it. Kaveh’s handwriting is like chicken scratch when he’s drunk. Hopefully it wasn’t something important. Kaveh was just glad he fell asleep in his own bed, and not over the kitchen table. Maybe Alhaitham had carried him to bed again. He wouldn’t mind that. 

He forced himself to crawl out of bed and he trudged into the kitchen. He’d feel better after some breakfast. 

Alhaitham was already in the kitchen with a cup of coffee.

“Good morning,” Kaveh mumbled.

“Hm,” Alhaitham hummed. 

“What, can’t say it back?” Kaveh mumbled under his breath. He was too tired to argue properly. And Alhaitham seemed a little on edge. He didn’t want to mess with that.

“Good morning,” he said between sips. He seemed a little more stoic than usual. Kaveh decided to ask his question and leave him alone.

“So. Last night,” Kaveh began. Alhaitham almost jumped. “You okay?” Kaveh asked. 

“I’m fine. Go on.” Kaveh found this odd, but didn’t comment on it. 

“Did I actually make it to bed on my own or did you carry me again?” he asked. Alhaitham’s tense shoulders relaxed.

“You went on your own,” he said, taking another sip. He was noticeably avoiding eye contact. 

“What’s up with you this morning?” Kaveh asked. Alhaitham was really jumpy. Quite strange for him. 

“F-Fine. I’m fine.” Alhaitham cursed himself internally for stuttering. There’s no reason for him to be nervous. If Kaveh remembered, he would’ve brought it up by now. Things are back to normal. This was what he wanted.

This was what he wanted.

“You’re stuttering,” Kaveh noticed.

“I’ve had four cups of coffee already,” Alhaitham lied. Kaveh gave him a judgmental look.

“Good luck with that.” He rummaged through the kitchen, hungry for breakfast. Alhaitham glanced at the clock. Perfect timing.

“I’ll be heading out now.” He left his cup on the counter and hastily went out the door. Kaveh muttered something under his breath about Alhaitham refusing to clean up after himself. 

The day was completely normal and uneventful, something Alhaitham was grateful for. The last thing he wanted was more work. After he finished the day’s tasks, he debated whether he should go straight home or not. Maybe he could stall facing Kaveh again for a little longer. Then he realized how ridiculous he was acting and started back home. 

He wasn’t embarrassed! Just… Okay, maybe he was embarrassed. Kaveh has no real interest in him. He’s buried his feelings for almost fifteen years, he’s used to it by now. It isn’t as painful as it used to be. Just a dull aching, always in the back of his mind. He had made peace with the fact it’d always be there.

But last night it wasn’t. Last night he finally got what he’d been longing for. He’d had a taste, and he craved more. He couldn’t deal with the pain anymore. Not after he’d almost gotten rid of it. But it was still there, mocking him. 

Would it have worked out if Alhaitham had confessed as well? He shouldn’t be thinking this. He might find hope. Hope is the enemy of reason. 

But what if Kaveh really did love him?

Alhaitham knew that wasn’t true. And it was better to be safe than sorry. Kaveh was drunk, he didn’t know what he was doing, end of story. It was a mistake. It wasn’t meant to happen. He can’t have that again. No matter how much he wants it. No matter how crazy Kaveh makes him. It’s not possible. As much as Alhaitham hated it, he knew he was right. He’s always right. 

But this time, Alhaitham was willing to be proven wrong.

He returned to a quiet house. Kaveh must still be at his desk. Alhaitham didn’t like that. He didn’t like how Kaveh stayed at his desk all day and night. He rarely came out for meals, never took breaks, and stayed in there until well after the sun was down. Alhaitham started down the hallway, intent on dragging Kaveh away from his desk. Kaveh’s door was open, and there he was, sketching away. Alhaitham leaned on the doorframe crossing his arms.

“Kaveh? I’m home,” he announced.

“Okay,” was all the response he received. He didn’t even look up from his papers.

“Are you going to join me for dinner?” 

“Is it done?”

“Not yet, but—”

“Then don’t bother me,” he said, sharply. Alhaitham took a breath. He wasn’t going to leave Kaveh here. Not like this.

“You’re not listening to me, Kaveh. I don’t want you working until you collapse from exhaustion. You can’t seriously think this is okay.” Alhaitham couldn’t keep the worry from creeping into his voice. He just cared so much about this man and couldn’t bear to watch him struggle like this any longer. The show of emotion caught Kaveh off guard. He finally looked Alhaitham in the eyes.

“You…” he trailed off. Silence. Had Alhaitham won? “Sorry. I’ll do better,” Kaveh mumbled. And that surprised Alhaitham. No arguing, no shouting, just a quiet “ I’ll do better. ” This was unlike him. Usually Kaveh would argue back to the point where he was screaming. What was different this time? 

Oh.

Alhaitham had sounded worried . Kaveh could hear in his voice that Alhaitham was worried. And so he listened.

Was that all it took to get him to listen? Alhaitham thought this over. If showing Kaveh how much he cared got him to listen, then it was definitely worth trying again. 

Well, maybe not the full extent of how much he cared, but a little bit won’t hurt.

“Thank you.” Alhaitham let the relief he felt be heard in his words. Seven different expressions flitted across Kaveh’s face. Alhaitham wanted to kiss all of them. 

“Y-Yeah, sure. Let’s eat something.” Kaveh retreated out the door, avoiding eye contact. Alhaitham didn’t think about it too much. He followed Kaveh into the kitchen. 

After dinner had been made, and both of them were quietly eating, Alhaitham became lost to his thoughts again. 

He didn't like the term 'overthinker.' It implies that thinking too much is a bad thing, which simply isn't true. There's no harm in considering all the angles and determining a response for every possible outcome. Well, maybe not every outcome. Alhaitham tended to only consider the bad ones. But it'd worked out so far, hadn't it? 

He glanced across the table at the sleep–deprived architect. The poor thing could barely keep his eyes open. He leaned onto his hand, eating lazily. His long, pretty eyelashes fluttered whenever he blinked—oh so slowly. His usually expertly done eyeshadow was smudged. Alhaitham thought it was pretty either way. The red matched his eyes perfectly. 

Alhaitham remembered accidentally grabbing it when reaching for his own eyeliner. His face had never been so glittery. Kaveh laughed and laughed at him, before helping him fix it. Alhaitham didn't ask for his help, but he didn't object when Kaveh's soft hands brushed over his skin, trying to wipe the glitter off. And he didn't object when Kaveh's warm breath was on his lips, after Kaveh insisted on doing Alhaitham's eyeliner for him. Kaveh had certainly taken some artistic liberties with it. It was much more detailed than Alhaitham wanted it to be. But it was perfect. It was gorgeous. It was Kaveh's.

“So, you excited for game night tomorrow?” Kaveh asked, pulling Alhaitham back to reality. Alhaitham had almost forgotten that that was tomorrow. Every week they met up with Cyno and Tighnari to play TCG at Lambad’s. It had admittedly been fun for a while, but after Cyno and Tighnari started dating, and eventually got married, Alhaitham didn’t find it as fun as before. He isn’t jealous! 

Probably.

Kaveh knew the answer before he even asked the question. He knew Alhaitham’s opinion on social events. He just wanted to break the silence. Alhaitham knew where this would go. He'd say 'no,' and then Kaveh wouldn't know what else to say and it'd be awkward again. So he decided to mess with Kaveh. Just to keep things interesting.

“Yeah,” Alhaitham mumbled.

“What?” Kaveh asked, surprised by the answer.

“I said yeah,” Alhaitham looked up. Kaveh's jaw had dropped.

“I heard you the first time. What do you mean 'yeah'? You hate going out! Well, I know you don't hate game nights, since why else would you come along, but to hear you admit that...” Kaveh was in shock. 

“I like seeing my friends.” And that wasn't entirely a lie. He did enjoy his friends' company. Sometimes. All the time seemed a little excessive. He didn't like talking to anyone if he could help it, but he could tolerate these people. Tighnari enjoyed discussing research matters with him and he would share fighting tactics with Cyno.

“So you do,” Kaveh said with a smile.

***

Tomorrow night rolled around and they were already late.

“Kaveh, what could possibly be taking so long?” Alhaitham called from the doorway. He'd been waiting almost fifteen minutes. He, of course, had been ready right on time. Unfortunately, he forgot to account for Kaveh.

“Calm down, I'm almost done!” he shouted back. Alhaitham crossed his arms impatiently. Well, he wasn't impatient . He considered himself a very patient man. But he wasn't interested in being late. 

Finally, Kaveh walked down the hallway, meeting Alhaitham at the door. Alhaitham immediately noticed what took so long. Instead of the usual red, Kaveh's eyeshadow was a mix of many different colors. It looked gorgeous on him.

“Do you like it?” Kaveh asked with a smile.

“Why would my opinion matter? Aren't you the artist?” Alhaitham said, breathless.

Kaveh huffed and his smile fell. Alhaitham felt a twinge of sadness at that. “I just wanted your opinion as my friend ,” he scoffed. Alhaitham wished he hadn’t put so much emphasis on that word. The word that caused him so much heartache over the years.

“Well, then, it looks nice,“ Alhaitham admitted. Truthfully, he thought it looked much better than 'nice.' But Kaveh didn't need to know that. 

Kaveh's sweet little smile returned. “Thank you. Was that so hard?” he teased. Alhaitham rolled his eyes and said nothing. They left their house and started towards the tavern. No, Alhaitham's house. They left Alhaitham's house. Why did he think of it as their house? Kaveh has nowhere else to go. It's the only reason he's still here. 

The only reason he’s still here.

Kaveh's walk was a little bouncy. He must've been excited. Whether it was to see his friends, or to be going to the tavern, Alhaitham couldn't tell. Either way, Alhaitham found it endearing.

He could never stand walking with Kaveh like this. It was too difficult to keep himself from grabbing his hand. Let everyone in Sumeru City know who the architect belonged to. Alhaitham resisted the urge to grab Kaveh's hand and lace their fingers together. Maybe even kiss it, too. 

They arrived at the tavern and spotted Cyno and Tighnari already seated. 

“Look who's finally arrived,” Cyno teased with a smile. He didn't look nearly as scary as he usually did. His headdress had been swapped out for a flower crown and his usual scowl was replaced by a smile. 

“Yes, we're late, I know,” Kaveh sighed, sitting down. “I didn't realize it'd take so long to do my makeup.”

“It does look pretty, though,” Tighnari assured him. 

“Thank you. That's more than some people have said,” he grumbled.

“I said it looked nice,” Alhaitham said, taking a seat next to him.

“Only after I told you to.”

“Please, both of you, what did we agree on?” Tighnari sighed. Kaveh and Alhaitham fell silent.

“No arguments on game nights,” Kaveh mumbled.

“Yes. Thank you. I'm tired enough already,” he groaned. Cyno put a hand on his shoulder.

“It's okay, sweetheart. Tonight's supposed to be fun, yeah?” he said. 

“I know, I know.” He let out an exhausted sigh. “Let's order our drinks first.”

Usually, Alhaitham didn't drink. But tonight he felt like he needed something. Kaveh has really messed him up. He couldn't forget that night if he tried. He could never forget the way Kaveh tasted. 

And that gave him an idea. Maybe it was stupid and pathetic, but he ordered the same wine as Kaveh. It'd taste like him, wouldn't it? Alhaitham couldn't believe himself. But he needed it.

“Are you sure that's what you want?” Kaveh asked after they had ordered.

“Why not? If you like it so much, you'll come home drunk every damn night then why not try it myself?” Alhaitham said with a straight face. Kaveh wanted to retaliate, but he didn't want to upset Tighnari, so he bit his tongue.

They played a few rounds of TCG. Cyno won nearly all of them. But Kaveh won once and he was very proud of himself for it. They received their drinks and Kaveh was quick to finish his. Alhaitham took a tentative sip from his glass. Oh Gods, that was Kaveh alright . It wasn’t exactly what Kaveh tasted like. But it was damn close enough. Alhaitham finished his glass and quickly ordered another. This was quite uncharacteristic of him. The others seemed to notice, but nobody said anything.

“Does the Omni element symbol look familiar to anyone else or am I crazy?” Kaveh asked, examining the symbol on the dice. 

“No, it certainly looks familiar. I can't quite place it, though...” Tighnari mused. 

“Isn't that the symbol that The Traveler's companion wears? What was her name? Penelope? Pauline?” Cyno said, racking his brain for an answer. 

“Paimon?” Alhaitham recalled. Cyno slapped the table and nodded.

“THAT'S it,” he said. A few of the petals fell from the crown he was wearing. Tighnari adjusted it for him.

“Why would that tiny little thing wear the Omni element symbol?” Kaveh asked. Tighnari sighed.

“I don’t know. And, frankly, I don’t care. She’s rather annoying,” he grumbled.

Cyno and Kaveh both gasped incredulously.

“You take that back right now!” Kaveh demanded.

“She is not annoying, she is tiny and cute! She’s a little mean, I guess, but she’s also really nice!” Cyno said. Alhaitham chuckled softly.

“Yeah, Tighnari, why are you bullying a child? Kinda messed up,” he said. Tighnari pulled his ears down, trying to block the sounds.

“Okay, okay, I get it. You guys like Paimon. Sorry,” he huffed.

“Paimon heard Paimon’s name. Are you talking about her?” A familiar shrill voice said.

“Hey everyone! We were passing by outside and saw you four. We thought we’d say hi.” And there was The Traveler herself. An odd coincidence, Alhaitham thought.

“Don’t change the subject! Were you talking bad about Paimon, thinking she wouldn’t hear?!” Paimon exclaimed and flew over to their table. How does that little thing fly? She has no wings, as far as Alhaitham can tell. She doesn’t carry a vision. Does she have the same elemental capabilities as The Traveler, and can use any element without a vision? No, because she’d be bragging about it every chance she’d get. Alhaitham decided to ask these questions another time.

“See what I mean,” Tighnari whispered. Cyno elbowed him.

“Not at all. We were just wondering why you wear the Omni element symbol.” Cyno held up the dice to Paimon’s face. Her usually talkative mouth shut. She said nothing.

“Paimon?” The Traveler asked, also confused by her companion’s sudden silence. 

“Wow! What a strange coincidence! Paimon’s outfit has the Omni element symbol? Whaaaaat? Paimon had no idea.” She wasn’t a convincing liar. The four of them shared suspicious glances. 

“Did we interrupt a game night?” The Traveler asked, oblivious to her companion’s antics. Or maybe she was ignoring them on purpose.

“Oh, you didn’t interrupt anything. We’re just hanging out. Nothing important,” Kaveh assured. 

“So would it be okay if I joined for a couple rounds?” She asked with a sly smile.

“I don’t see why not,” Cyno said, looking at everyone else. 

“Of course!” Kaveh invited. She pulled over a chair and sat down with them, grinning broadly. She must’ve missed them. Alhaitham felt the corners of his mouth twitch at the idea.

“Can I see the menu? I need a drink,” she huffed, reaching for the menu. She did sound exhausted.

“Ah-ah, aren’t you underage? No alcohol for you,” Alhaitham chided and snatched the menu out of her hands. She frowned and crossed her arms.

“Fine. Whatever. I don’t care,” she grumbled, quickly getting over it. “Cyno, check out my new deck.”

They played a few games, Paimon cheering her on. The Traveler’s strategy was certainly… unique. It certainly wasn’t good , because she lost every game.

“Ah, well. Not much time for me to play card games when I’m busy saving Teyvat,” she said sheepishly.

“I’m just surprised you lost to me. I’m terrible at this game,” Alhaitham shrugged. She laughed lightly.

“Hey, don’t say that! You’re busy too, Mr. Acting Grand Sage, ” she emphasized Alhaitham’s former title. Everyone chuckled a little at that. “I have no idea how you find the time,” she said to Cyno. 

“I take my deck with me everywhere. This game keeps me sane on lots of my missions.”

“Good to know,” she said, standing up. “Paimon and I should get going. Katheryne’s probably wondering where we are.”

“It was nice seeing you again,” Tighnari said politely.

“And Paimon,” Kaveh added. Paimon giggled at that.

“Aw, you flatter Paimon!” she said. “See you guys later!” Almost everyone waved to the two of them.

“Hey, nerd, aren’t you gonna say goodbye?” The Traveler asked, flicking at the little hair antenna on Alhaitham’s head. He grumbled. 

“Goodbye, Traveler and Paimon,” he said. With a final wave, they left the tavern.

“Well, that was a nice surprise,” Kaveh said. 

“Maybe for you,” Tighnari said. “Paimon’s voice is just so loud and shrill! She doesn’t have to scream all the time!” he complained. Cyno put a hand on his back. 

“I know, sweetheart. I know,” he said, softly. “Let's get back to our game, yeah?” he suggested.

“Start without me. I have to use the restroom,” Kaveh said, standing up.

“Alright,” Alhaitham answered as he walked away. The moment Kaveh was out of sight, Cyno and Tighnari fixed their gaze on Alhaitham.

“What’s going on with you two?” Tighnari asked. Alhaitham was caught off guard.

“What? What are you talking about?” He asked. Where was this coming from?

“Don’t play dumb,” Cyno threatened. He sounded serious. Almost like when he was interrogating suspects for his cases. Alhaitham felt a shiver run up his spine. Not a lot scared him but the General Mahamatra sure did. Even while wearing a pink flower crown.

“I’m not playing dumb. What’s going on here?” Alhaitham asked.

“Don’t lie to us. Something’s up between you and Kaveh, we can see it,” Tighnari explained, sounding exhausted. Alhaitham felt his face burn up. Was it that obvious? If it is, then surely Kaveh’s ignoring him on purpose. Not even he’s that stupid. Still, Alhaitham couldn’t help hoping.

Fuck.

He was hoping. He’s emotionally invested. He won't be able to think rationally about this anymore. Fuck. Keep it together, Alhaitham. He tried to tame the tempest in his mind. He’d worry about this later.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said, calmly. Cyno and Tighnari looked at each other, unamused.

“You’ve been staring at him all night. Like, staring- staring. And you’re acting way different than usual,” Cyno said.

“So maybe I’m a little tipsy. That has nothing to do with Kaveh,” Alhaitham said. 

“Alhaitham, please. You sound way too desperate to end this conversation, your face is redder than a mushroom, and I can hear your heartbeat from over here. You’re not fooling anyone.” Tighnari’s expression was deadpan. Damn it. There really was no lying to him, was there? “And that brings up another point. You never drink. What gave you the sudden urge to try? And Kaveh’s favorite, no less,” he said, raising an eyebrow. Alhaitham’s face twisted into a scowl.

“If you’re implying what I think you’re implying—”

“I’m not implying anything. I’ll say it outright if you want me to.”

“Don’t!” Alhaitham said, maybe a little too quickly. Cyno and Tighnari were both surprised by his reaction. “Please don’t…” he almost begged. 

The other two were silent for a moment.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Tighnari asked, his voice much calmer than before.

“When did it happen?” Cyno sounded much more interested in the drama than Alhaitham’s feelings. What a gross sentence. Alhaitham has feelings. He didn’t like that. Wait. What did Cyno just say?

“When did what happen?” He hadn’t told them about the kiss. Did they know? How?

“When did you realize you were in love?” Cyno clarified. Ah. That’s what he meant. Alhaitham almost laughed. And he did. Maybe drinking wasn’t such a good idea after all.

“Oh, Cyno, I’ve known I was in love for fifteen years,” Alhaitham said, voice strained. The other two couldn’t hide the shock on their faces if they wanted to.

“ Fifteen years? But that’s…” Tighnari quickly counted on his fingers. “Since you were thirteen? ”

Alhaitham nodded sadly. Gods, how pathetic they must think he is. They’d be right. Alhaitham had been pining over this man for a decade and a half. How sad is that?

“Wait, so why are you acting all weird now ?”  

Finally asking the big questions, aren’t we, Cyno? Alhaitham thought.

“He came home drunk the other night and kissed me,” Alhaitham said, as casually as he could to keep his voice from breaking. How depressing he must seem. This is why he didn’t drink. 

Cyno’s jaw dropped. Tighnari gasped in surprise. Before they could interrogate him further, Kaveh returned. 

“You guys look shocked. What’d I miss?” he asked.  Shit. Alhaitham hadn’t told them that Kaveh forgot.

“You kissed Alhaitham?” Cyno asked, almost yelling it loud enough for all of Sumeru City to hear. It was loud enough to make both Tighnari and Alhaitham wince in pain.

Kaveh’s eyes went wide and his face flushed. “ What are you talking about?” He asked, glaring at Alhaitham. “What the hell did you say to them?!”

Tighnari and Cyno both turned to Alhaitham, clearly confused. Alhaitham let his face hit the table out of embarrassment. He couldn’t look any of them in the eye. 

“He told us you came home drunk the other night and kissed him. Do you not remember?” Tighnari explained calmly, like he wasn’t completely ruining Alhaitham’s life by revealing this. Fifteen fucking years Alhaitham had managed to keep this a secret. Fifteen years he buried these feelings so deep he hardly thought about them. Fifteen years he spent trying to cope with the fact he’d never be with the man he loved so desperately. And it was all for nothing.

“I… did?” Kaveh asked, racking his brain. “Is that why you’ve been acting so weird?” He asked Alhaitham, whose face was still pressed into the table.

“Shut up,” he said, voice muffled. He didn’t know what else to say. He never wanted this to happen. Kaveh wasn’t supposed to know. He was never supposed to know. Alhaitham had no idea where to go from here. All he wanted was to keep his heart in one piece. Gods, he sounds so stupid. This is what Kaveh does to him. He makes Alhaitham think such stupid things. Rather, Alhaitham can’t think at all around him. His thoughts are just consumed by admiring how pretty the man is. If only he hadn’t kissed Kaveh back.

“Oh, Gods, Alhaitham I am so sorry, I had no idea, I swear,” Kaveh started apologizing. Cyno and Tighnari both just sighed.

“I think you two should go home. Clearly you have a lot to discuss,” Cyno said, picking up his cards.

“We’ll take care of the bill. Get some rest, and go talk things out, yeah?” Tighnari said encouragingly. Neither Kaveh nor Alhaitham felt very encouraged. Both of them wanted to curl up in a corner and wither away out of embarrassment. Nonetheless, they followed Tighnari’s advice and went home. Both of them were silent during the walk. Alhaitham hated it. He had hundreds of different conflicting feelings fighting inside him  and it was awful . He had no idea how to make sense of any of it.

He really shouldn’t have drank so much wine. 

They returned home and both stood awkwardly in the living room. 

“So…” Kaveh was the first to speak.

“So?”

“We kissed.” Kaveh wouldn’t look him in the eye.

“We did.” Alhaitham was too scared he might say something he’d regret. So instead he said almost nothing at all.

“And I don’t remember any of it.”

“Guess not.”

Kaveh let out an exasperated sigh. “For Archons’ sake, Alhaitham, this conversation isn’t going to go anywhere if you won’t talk to me! ” he almost yelled. Alhaitham couldn’t bear to see such a pained expression on Kaveh’s face.

“What do you want me to say, Kaveh?” Alhaitham usually wouldn't let his voice sound so emotional. Especially not in an argument. Was this an argument? Either way, Alhaitham can't keep the hurt from creeping into his voice.

“I want you to tell me what happened the other night. I don't remember any of it. And then I want you to tell me why you hid it from me. Can you do that?” Kaveh crossed his arms. You would think that he's the calm, logical one and that Alhaitham was the emotional wreck. 

Alhaitham nodded.

“Alright then. Tell me.”

Alhaitham felt his throat getting tight. He better not start crying.

“Two nights ago you came home absolutely wasted,” he began.

“Two days ago? Yeah, I remember walking into the tavern but I sure don't remember walking out.” He tried to joke to lighten the mood. It didn't work.

“Anyways, I scolded you for coming home drunk again, and you actually listened this time. You even got me to admit I care about you.” Alhaitham saw Kaveh's eyes light up when he said that, but the blond stayed quiet. “And then you said ‘I love you,’ and you kissed me.”

Kaveh's face flushed. He must've been redder than a cherry. “I said that?” he asked. Alhaitham nodded, not trusting his voice enough to speak.

“So that's it then? That's why you've been acting so weird? Because I kissed you and weirded you the fuck out and now you want nothing to do with me?” 

Alhaitham but his lip nervously. Does he need to tell Kaveh the whole truth? Clearly he's said all he needs to. 

Fifteen years.

I've kept this hidden for fifteen years.

Am I about to throw it all away now?

Alhaitham took one look at Kaveh's sad little face. The pout on his lips, the slight tilt of his head, and the misery in those raspberry–red eyes.

Yes.

“No, Kaveh, I’ve been acting so weird because I loved it and I desperately want to do it again.” He held his breath. He said it. He finally said it. What a stupid decision. Why did he do that? Just one look at Kaveh’s face made him say it. The alcohol probably played a part, too. Why does he have so much power over him? Alhaitham’s never felt so helpless before. 

Kaveh’s going to reject him. He knows this. Why is he putting himself through this pain? This heartbreak?

Kaveh couldn’t believe what he was hearing. How much did he have to drink? No, scratch that, how much did Alhaitham have to drink? That he’d admit to something like that? That he’d say it like that? Kaveh always imagined that if Alhaitham confessed it’d be something like a list of reasons why. Or maybe he’d say it so logically in that deadpan voice of his, like ‘I’d like to pursue a romantic relationship with you.’ But Kaveh never would have imagined this. The longing and desperation and sheer want was painted all over his pretty face. Alhaitham was practically begging for Kaveh. Alhaitham was practically begging.  

Kaveh was thrilled by this realization. He wants it this badly? Kaveh’s going to make him work for it. It’s only fair. The scribe had enough power over him already. But now Kaveh’s the one in charge. Kaveh’s the one with Alhaitham at his mercy. And he’s going to relish every second of it.

“Please, Kaveh, say something. You’re scaring me,” Alhaitham whimpered. Alhaitham whimpered. Is this what Kaveh really did to him? Behind his calm and logical facade, is this what he’s like around Kaveh? A flustered, trembling mess? Kaveh reached out and put a hand on Alhaitham’s cheek. The scribe leaned into his touch, desperate for more. He looked up at Kaveh with the sweetest, saddest puppy-dog eyes he’d ever seen. 

“You want to kiss me again?” Kaveh asked, softly. 

“Yes,” Alhaitham whispered. Kaveh grinned. Since the day he moved in, Kaveh had loved this man. Sure, he was cute in their Akademiya days, and maybe Kaveh had a tiny crush on him, but now that they were both adults, Alhaitham had only gotten prettier. Much prettier. Kaveh couldn’t help himself. As frustrating as he is, sometimes he’s rather sweet. It doesn’t hurt that he’s also incredibly attractive. 

And here he was, shaking in Kaveh’s arms, begging for a kiss. Maybe more than a kiss. Maybe more than a kiss… Kaveh felt his face warming up. Gods, Kaveh, he’s right in front of you! Have you no shame?!

Apparently not.

Kaveh looked down at his junior and his pretty face and terrified eyes. Kaveh couldn’t make him wait any longer. It’d just be cruel. He’s so nervous and needs Kaveh right now. What could Kaveh possibly say to calm him? Tell him not to be scared? Let him know it's okay? It’s okay now, and it will be forever? 

Kaveh knew the answer.

He leaned forwards. Close enough that he could feel Alhaitham’s shallow breath on his lips.

“I love you,” he whispered.

Finally, finally, he kissed him. It was every bit as perfect as Kaveh dreamed it would be and more. Alhaitham absolutely melted in his touch. His hands pulled at Kaveh’s hair.

“Gentle—be gentle,” Kaveh said.

“Sorry…” he said sheepishly. How could Kaveh scold such a face? He should give him what he wants. Gods, even when Alhaitham’s the one turned into liquid in Kaveh’s arms, Kaveh still gives in to his every request.

“Here, I’ll let my hair down.” Kaveh pulled the clips out of his hair and undid the braid. Alhaitham watched, wide-eyed. “Don’t wanna lose these,” Kaveh muttered, placing the clips and his feather on the table. Alhaitham reached out a hand and ran it through Kaveh’s hair.

“Pretty…” he mumbled. Kaveh chuckled softly.

“You really are a lightweight, huh? Maybe I shouldn’t have let you drink so much,” Kaveh said with a playful frown. Instead of arguing back, Alhaitham bit his cheek.

“Ow! Use your words, Hayi!” Kaveh scolded. Alhaitham would’ve grumbled some more if Kaveh hadn’t used that nickname. Instead he peppered Kaveh’s face with kisses. Gods, how long had he waited to do this? He wrapped his arms around Kaveh’s waist and dipped him backwards.

“H-Haitham!” Kaveh laughed. He threw his arms around Alhaitham’s neck. “You better not drop me!”

“I’d never,” Alhaitham promised between kisses. “I won’t let anything happen to you. I love you too much.”

“Well then, mister sweet-talker, why didn’t you ever say anything?! ” Kaveh asked. Alhaitham stopped kissing his face so he could look him in the eyes.

“Why didn’t I ever say anything? Why didn’t I ever say anything? For fuck’s sake, Kaveh, what was I supposed to say?! How was I supposed to know you wouldn’t reject me? Not a lot scares me, but the thought of your rejection terrified me. I couldn’t lose you. I can’t lose you.” Alhaitham pressed their foreheads together. Kaveh could hear his pounding heartbeat. He’d never seen him look so sad before. Granted, he’d never seen him look so any emotion. But this one was especially heartbreaking. Kaveh put a hand on Alhaitham’s cheek.

“I’m here, Hayi. I’m yours,” Kaveh promised before kissing him again. He only intended it to be a quick kiss, but Alhaitham licked his lips and what could he do but comply? Kaveh loved it . Alhaitham held him so tightly and so desperately. Kaveh felt safe, here in his arms. He was safe.

Alhaitham tasted like wine—yes—but he also tasted like savory spices and something so indescribably Alhaitham. Kaveh would never tire of it. 

Kaveh nearly jumped when he felt cold fingers on his bare back. 

“A-Alhaitham!” he said. Alhaitham had snuck his fingers through the opening in the back of Kaveh’s shirt. He just laughed.

“I’ve always wanted to do that…” he said with a smirk. 

“Don’t be ridiculous!” Kaveh said, flustered. “I’m sure you haven’t always wanted to do that.”

Alhaitham kissed him again. “That’s where you’re wrong,” he said. 

“Wait, what do you mean?” Kaveh asked. Alhaitham kissed him once again.

“I’ve loved you since the day I met you,” he admitted with stars in his eyes. Kaveh’s jaw dropped. 

“You what ?!” he asked, stunned. Alhaitham chuckled at Kaveh’s response. Was it really so hard to believe? Kaveh had always been kind and outgoing. Alhaitham couldn’t stop himself from falling in love. He only became prettier as he got older. There really was no chance for Alhaitham, was there? Kaveh is passionate about his art, he’s stubborn and argues about everything, he sticks to his ideals no matter how many times Alhaitham tries to change his mind, he’s annoying, he’s loud, he’s a mess, he’s obnoxious, and he’s perfect. He’s Alhaitham’s.

“You heard me,” Alhaitham said with an antagonizing smirk. Kaveh flicked his forehead.

“You’re fucking with me,” he said. Alhaitham hadn’t been in love with him for that long. He would’ve noticed. He’s not that oblivious. Right?

“Nope. Well, not yet, anyways,” Alhaitham said with a quick lick of his lips. That got Kaveh’s attention.

“Oh? Is that a promise?” He asked, sweeping a finger under Alhaitham’s chin. The younger one blushed at the gesture. “So red. You mean to tell me that mister sweet-talker can say all the suave things he likes, but once someone says them back he just crumbles?” Kaveh teased. Alhaitham only blushed more, proving Kaveh’s point.

Kaveh ran his hands through Alhaitham's hair. It was so soft and fluffy. “Do you want me to?” he asked.

“To what?”

“To fuck you, Hayi.”

Alhaitham blushed furiously. “You don't have to say it like that…” he mumbled, embarrassed. Gods, he hated feeling embarrassed. It’s been happening a lot lately. Kaveh smirked, seeing this reaction. He brushed the long gray strands of hair away from Alhaitham's eyes. 

“What did I say it like? I just asked if I could fuck you,” Kaveh said. Alhaitham averted his gaze, cheeks burning. Kaveh loved seeing the scribe flustered like this. He was so precious. “I'll do it, if you want me to. I'll fuck you good, Haitham. You won't even remember your own name when I'm done with you,” he promised. Alhaitham covered his face with his hands. How red was he? Kaveh chuckled lightly. 

“Don't hide that pretty face, Haitham,” Kaveh purred. He pulled Alhaitham's hands down and kissed him. This kiss was Kaveh's favorite by far. It was open-mouthed and filthy and he craved more . Alhaitham was making all kinds of sweet little sounds. Kaveh loved them all. He wrapped his arms around the younger's waist, pulling him closer. To Kaveh's dismay, Alhaitham pulled away, leaving only a string of saliva connecting them.

“Let's go to my room,” he said, breathless. Kaveh wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and smiled. How long had he dreamt of hearing those words? Alhaitham took his hand and led him through their house. 

Alhaitham pulled him into his messy room and shut the door. 

“So it's alright for you to leave your room a mess, but not me?” Kaveh teased. 

“You leave your door open all the time, so I have to see it,” Alhaitham said, stone-faced.

“I'm just messing with you,” Kaveh said, pulling at Alhaitham's belt. “Is this okay?” he asked.

“Yes,” Alhaitham nodded. He grabbed onto Kaveh's arm. “Anything you wanna do is okay.”

Oh? Kaveh raised an eyebrow. “ Anything ?” 

Alhaitham nodded again. Gods, he was so cute when he did that. 

“Alright, take your clothes off.” Kaveh pulled off his own gloves and his shirt before he realized Alhaitham wasn't doing anything. “What's wrong?”

Alhaitham mumbled something.

“Speak up,” Kaveh said, grabbing his chin. Alhaitham's face was red as a cherry.

“I want you to do it,” he admitted. That made Kaveh's heart flutter. He chuckled softly. Alhaitham really is so adorable . He could never say that to his face, though.

“Okay. If that's what you want.” Kaveh put Alhaitham's headphones on the dresser, along with his own earrings. Or, he was about to.

“Wait,” Alhaitham said, as Kaveh reached up to take out his earrings.

“What is it?”

“Keep the earrings on. They're pretty,” Alhaitham requested. Kaveh smiled and kissed his nose.

“Alright.” Kaveh slowly pulled off Alhaitham's shirt.  He ran his hands up the side of his trembling body. He pulled off his gloves and admired the perfectly toned muscles underneath. 

“Gods, Haitham, you're gorgeous,” he whispered. Alhaitham only blushed in response. He gets flustered so easily, doesn't he?

“And from the Light of the Kshahrewar himself, renowned artist with an eye for beauty,” Alhaitham said, dazed. Kaveh chuckled a little.

“You are beautiful,” he assured. And Alhaitham believed it. 

Kaveh pulled off Alhaitham's belt of fabric and smirked.

“Oh, Alhaitham ...” he purred. He ran his thumb over the bulge in Alhaitham's pants, eliciting a moan from the younger. “So hard for me already?”

“Sh-Shut up...” Alhaitham whined. Kaveh slipped a finger into the waistband on Alhaitham's pants. He hesitated, waiting for an answer. “Take it off,” Alhaitham ordered.

Kaveh pulled off his pants and underwear all at once. Alhaitham stepped out of it and kicked the bundle of fabric aside. Gods he's pretty... but he was shaking so much, Kaveh couldn't focus on anything else.

“Are you okay?” Kaveh asked, taking Alhaitham's hand. He seemed startled by the question and the gesture.

“I-I'm fine,” he said. Kaveh frowned.

“You're shaking so much. Are you nervous?” Kaveh asked, bringing Alhaitham's hand to his lips.

“Hmph. I'm not nervous ,” Alhaitham frowned back at him. And Kaveh's about ready to strangle him. He's too proud for his own good. How is Kaveh supposed to help him if he won't communicate?! 

“What should I do? To make you stop shaking?” Kaveh asked. 

“Well, you could take your pants off, for one,” Alhaitham said, impatiently. Maybe he wasn't such a patient man, after all. 

Kaveh complied and let the fabric hit the floor. 

“Pretty...” Alhaitham mumbled, mindlessly. Kaveh couldn't help but laugh. Alhaitham's cheeks flushed. “Will you stop laughing at me?” 

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you're just so cute,” Kaveh said. “Why can't you be this good for me all the time?” 

“‘Good for you’? I'm not a dog, Kaveh,” Alhaitham grumbled. Kaveh kissed away the wrinkles on his brow. 

“Sorry, sorry,” he apologized. “Now, what would you like to do?” Kaveh asked, oh-so-politely. He put his hands on Alhaitham's hips, his touch light as a feather. 

“I want you inside me,” Alhaitham mumbled. Kaveh smiled. Alhaitham is so meek and embarrassed about this, isn’t he? He simply can’t stand the idea of not being the one in charge, but this is what he so desperately wants. It’s cute, in a way. It made Kaveh want to see how long Alhaitham could keep up the act. How long he’d pretend he didn’t want Kaveh as badly as he did. What it would take to hear him shamelessly spill his desires, beg for what he wanted, scream Kaveh’s name and admit how much he needed him.

Was Kaveh going to break him? 

Kaveh was going to break him.

“I'm gonna need you to be more specific, love. Do you want my fingers? My tongue?" Kaveh purred.

Alhaitham knew what he was doing. He could read Kaveh like a book. He knew Kaveh wanted to see him broken. He knew that Kaveh was willing to push him to the edge of madness. He knew Kaveh wanted to watch the last thread of patience Alhaitham was clinging to to just snap. Kaveh wanted to be the cause of it. He wanted to break him to pieces and slowly, lovingly put him back together again. He wanted to be the root of Alhaitham’s insanity. 

He doesn’t know that he already is.

But Alhaitham is determined to keep what little dignity he has left. He is desperate for this man, and that thought terrifies him. He's never wanted anything so badly before. He doesn't want Kaveh to know just how much power he holds over him. 

Alhaitham will admit it. He's... scared. 

“You're thinking. Stop thinking,” Kaveh ordered. Gods, Alhaitham wishes he could do just that. But he was too consumed by the terror of this want, this desire . It's always been there, honestly, but now that Kaveh was naked in front of him, it tore him apart from the inside. 

Kaveh flicked Alhaitham's forehead. “Hayi. Whatever you're thinking, stop thinking it.” Kaveh cradled his face. “The only thing I want you to be thinking about is how I'm gonna wreck you.”

Alhaitham blushed. Again. Gods, how he wanted that. He wanted Kaveh to destroy him from the inside out. He wanted Kaveh to fuck him senseless. Until he couldn't think about anything except the warmth and love he was being given so generously.

And that thought scared him.

“Just get on with it already,” Alhaitham ordered. He can hold back. He doesn't have to let Kaveh know how desperate he is. 

Kaveh's previously worried expression shifted back into that sly smile that Alhaitham refused to admit he liked. “Get on with what, love?” he asked.

Alhaitham thought he just might strangle him.

If Kaveh keeps this up, he just might snap. He might start screaming out exactly what he wants and how badly he wants it. But it's not like Alhaitham has never dealt with Kaveh before. He can handle it.

Probably.

“Are you going to fuck me or not?” It came out a little whiny. Kaveh noticed.

“Is that what you want?” he asked, tracing Alhaitham's lips with his thumb.

Alhaitham bit back a sarcastic remark. “Yes.” 

Kaveh grinned, satisfied with this answer. He pushed Alhaitham backwards onto his bed, earning a surprised yelp. He crawled over top of the scribe, admiring the beauty sprawled out beneath him.

“K-Kaveh...” He stuttered. He stuttered . Alhaitham was losing it. Already. For Archons' sake, Alhaitham, get a grip, he thought to himself. 

“Yes?” Kaveh asked, leaning in close. Alhaitham forced himself not to get distracted by those pretty lips.

“You should know that this is my first time,” he admitted. Kaveh's face lit up like the sun.

“ Really ? You're telling me that I'm the only person who's capable of winning the scribe's affections?” Kaveh asked, oh-so-smugly. Alhaitham frowned and he nodded. Kaveh giggled like a child. “I promise I'll do my best for you, Hayi,” he promised and kissed Alhaitham's nose. 

“I'd hope so,” Alhaitham mutters.

“ But , this means you don't know what your limits are. You have to tell me what to do. Tell me if I go too far,” Kaveh said sternly. As if Alhaitham wouldn't love anything Kaveh did. 

“Do anything you want,” Alhaitham said, trying to disguise the neediness in his voice. 

Kaveh’s eyebrows shot up. “ Anything I want? ” he repeated. 

“You heard me,” Alhaitham said, stiffly. Another laugh. “You find this funny?”

“I find it adorable that you’re so desperate for this.” Kaveh couldn’t hide his smile if he wanted to. Alhaitham wanted to kiss that smile. No, no he didn’t! Kaveh is being incredibly annoying and borderline rude!

“I-I’m not— You’re just—” for the first time in his life, Alhaitham had no idea what to say. And Kaveh relished it.

“What’s this? The Grand Scribe of the Akademiya, master of over twenty languages,  can’t string together one sentence?” Kaveh teased with that punchable smile of his. It didn’t help that his hair was tickling Alhaitham’s cheeks, and those gorgeous earrings hung down to accentuate just how pretty his senior’s face was. “You aren’t fooling me, Haitham. We’ve known each other forever. If there’s one person who can read your expressions, it’s me. It’s written all over your face how badly you want me.” Those raspberry-red eyes were glittering with lust. 

“Is it?” Alhaitham asked, sheepishly. He felt so powerless. So pathetic. 

“Well, not just your face.” Kaveh smirked. He reached down and thumbed the head of Alhaitham's drooling cock. Alhaitham drew in a sharp breath at the contact. The touch was light and gentle and it was maddening . Kaveh's lips turned upwards into a dangerous smile. “I wonder...” he mused. He dragged his fingers down, causing Alhaitham to shiver, and started jerking him off. “Have you ever gotten off to the thought of me?”

Alhaitham didn't want to answer that. He wasn’t going to feed Kaveh’s ego like that. He wouldn’t admit that thinking of Kaveh was the only way he could. Touching himself and wishing it were Kaveh’s hands, screaming his name when he climaxed, even going so far as to steal one of Kaveh’s capes. Alhaitham was pretty sure it was still under his bed somewhere. He didn’t need it anymore. It’d lost Kaveh’s scent.

But he sure as hell wasn’t admitting that.

He couldn't if he wanted to. His mouth was too occupied with moans and breathy whines full of want. Kaveh's hands were soft, and warm, and oh-so-gentle. Exactly what he imagined them to be.

“Answer the question, love,” Kaveh ordered. Alhaitham couldn't believe he was letting Kaveh boss him around like this. He’d do anything for this man, wouldn’t he?

“Yes,” he admitted, breathless. Kaveh grinned, but said nothing more. He used his free hand and gently massaged Alhaitham's hip. 

“Shh,” he soothed. As much as Alhaitham loved this, he was greedy. He wanted more. He wanted to be owned.

“More,” he choked out. It wasn't an order. It was a plea. 

“More?” Kaveh teased. “More what, love? You'll have to be more specific.”

“ Ngh —more of you.” He was close to crying. That’s how desperate he was. Kaveh's touch was feather-light and cruel. It wasn't enough.

“Your words , Hayi. What do you want?” He ceased his ministrations and sat up.

“Your cock,” Alhaitham nearly begged. Begged . How needy is he? Gods, this is embarrassing. He's supposed to be the strong, collected and orderly one. The renowned scribe of the Akedemiya. Rigidly logical and stone-cold-hearted. But Kaveh's turned him into nothing but a puddle of moans and whiny pleas.

“Alright, alright, if you're ready for it,” Kaveh said, voice as light as his touches. Alhaitham just nodded eagerly, opening his legs some more as an invitation. Kaveh brought his hands to Alhaitham's lips. “Open up, love,” he ordered. What could Alhaitham do but obey? Kaveh forced a finger down his throat. He flinched violently and tried to cough it out, but Kaveh didn't budge. How mad would he get if he bit down?

“Good boy, shh, it's okay,” Kaveh soothed. And Alhaitham melted at the nickname. He was never going to admit that. He abandoned his idea of biting and wrapped his tongue around the appendage. Once he got used to the feeling of a finger in his throat, Kaveh added another. Alhaitham reacted violently again, coughing more than last time. He could feel the spit trailing down his chin. He must look so stupid.

“Oh, you look so beautiful like this, love.” Kaveh's eyes softened around the edges. He gazed at Alhaitham with all the love in the world. Kaveh pulled his fingers out, now shiny and sticky, and Alhaitham felt like he could breathe again.

“That wasn't what I asked for,” he said.

“Well, I don't suppose you've got any lube,” Kaveh said, his annoyance with Alhaitham's remark evident on his face. Ah. Alhaitham hadn't thought about that.

“...No,” Alhaitham mumbled. Kaveh smirked, pleased with this answer. 

With his clean hand, he caressed the outside of Alhaitham's thigh, making the younger one squirm in delight. He gently inserted his spit-slick finger and Alhaitham took it gratefully. He let out a little breathy moan and threw his head back. Currently, he had himself propped up on his elbows, but his arms were starting to feel a little weak. Kaveh had barely started working him open and he was already panting like a dog. 

“You okay, sweetheart?” Kaveh asked. Alhaitham groaned, partly in pleasure, partly in annoyance.

“Enough with the— hahh —pet names,” he said. 

“What? You don't like them?” Kaveh asked with a playful frown. “Are you not my love? Not my sweetheart? Not my good boy?” He purred the last one. Alhaitham couldn't do anything but moan in response. Good boy. Who knew he'd like being called something so demeaning.

Kaveh's eyes lit up. “You like that one,” he noticed. Alhaitham shot him a death glare, but once Kaveh inserted a second finger, his eyes glazed over with pleasure. His arms gave out and he melted into the pillows, silver locks spilling around his head like a halo. 

“Oh, baby, these are just my fingers,” Kaveh chuckled. 

“Hurry up,” Alhaitham said. 

“You want me to hurry?” Kaveh asked, drawing out his words just to make Alhaitham that much more impatient. “You’ll have to beg.”

As much as Alhaitham wanted to keep whatever shred of dignity he had left, he wanted Kaveh more. “Please, Kaveh,” he whispered. “ Ngh— I need it. I need you. Hahh —please, Gods, please… ” Kaveh licked his lips, savoring Alhaitham’s words. He slowly dragged his fingers out, drawing a moan from the man under him. 

“Since you asked so nicely,” he said. Kaveh grabbed the underside of Alhaitham’s knees and pulled his legs up over his own shoulders. Alhaitham was perfectly content with being dragged around and physically manipulated by him. Kaveh took a second to line himself up with Alhaitham's dripping hole. Slowly, carefully, he pushed in, and Alhaitham was ready to scream, it felt so good. He bit his lip to keep quiet. 

“Ah, ah.” Kaveh used his thumb to drag Alhaitham's lip away from his teeth. “Let me hear you, love.”

“K-Ka— veh ...” The name left his lips broken and barely audible. But Kaveh loved it all the same.

He pushed in as far as he could, and Alhaitham clawed desperately at whatever he could get his hands on. That turned out to be Kaveh's back. He felt so full with Kaveh inside him. Full and warm and loved .  The blond couldn't resist giving a small kiss on Alhaitham's nose. 

“You moan my name so prettily... and you take me so well...” he praised. He leaned over and pressed gentle kisses to Alhaitham's neck. That earned him a quiet moan and a shiver from the man under him. “You like my little kisses too?” Kaveh whispered against his skin.

“I like— mnn —anything y-you do,” Alhaitham answered, still trying to remain at least somewhat coherent. It wasn't easy. Not with his beautiful senior finally being so intimate with him. Kaveh was left speechless by these words. 

“You– I–” Kaveh struggled for a response. Finally he settled on, “And here I was, thinking you weren't romantic!” The words were sweet but Kaveh sounded upset. 

“Shut up and start moving.” Alhaitham was running out of patience. He'd waited long enough by now. Kaveh stared at him blankly.

“What's the magic word?” He asked. Alhaitham knew he wouldn't get anything until he answered.

“Please?”

“Say it like you mean it.”

Alhaitham took a deep breath. “ Please , Kaveh...” 

The sound of his love moaning his name so sweetly was a blissful melody to Kaveh's ears. He kissed the composer. He only meant for a quick kiss, but Alhaitham's hands tangled through his hair, and he licked his lips, and it all became a white–hot blur. It was a mess of teeth and tongue and lips that so desperately craved the other. Alhaitham clung to Kaveh like kissing him was all he needed. All he ever needed. And it was.

Kaveh slowly did what was asked of him, pulling out almost entirely. Alhaitham was no longer a patient man. He was going insane with how slow Kaveh was moving. As if Kaveh were mocking him, he pushed back in just as slow. Alhaitham was convinced Kaveh was conducting some sort of torture. It didn’t keep him from moaning, though. 

“Kaveh, Kaveh…” Alhaitham whispered the name against the man’s lips.

“Yes, love?” 

“Faster, please, move faster…” Alhaitham whined. Kaveh let out a light laugh at that.

“Oh, so you want it rough?” Kaveh asked. Alhaitham nodded frantically. He must’ve looked so pathetic right now. With his legs spread over Kaveh’s shoulders, and his lips wet with spit, and the desperate little nod of his head. Still, Kaveh gave him that loving smile that was growing in familiarity. “Anything you want,” Kaveh promised.

He thrusted harshly into Alhaitham, earning a scream from the younger. The raw, desperate sounds of his junior’s pleasure was enough to send him into a frenzy. He kissed all over Alhaitham’s neck as he thrusted into him at a brutal pace.

“You doing okay?” he asked eventually. Alhaitham struggled to catch his breath.

“F-Fine… don’t stop…” he pleaded. Kaveh obeyed. His movements were anything but gentle, completely unlike his touches from before. Alhaitham wasn’t complaining. He’d be lying if he said that this wasn't exactly what he wanted. His senior, his roommate, the love of his life holding him so closely and loving him so deeply. Loving him so desperately. 

Up until now, Kaveh had been nothing but tender and polite. He had been careful with Alhaitham, taking care he wouldn’t do anything to make his junior uncomfortable. Alhaitham thought it had been sweet, but he preferred this much more. Kaveh wanted him. He wanted to see the scribe reduced to a pile of slush in his arms. He wanted Alhaitham helpless at his hand, squirming around his cock. He wanted Alhaitham to be his. And Alhaitham was more than willing to be.

With a broken moan and a full–body shiver from Alhaitham, Kaveh knew he’d found the spot that’d turn his love into a puddle.

“ F-Fuck , Kaveh, right there,” Alhaitham moaned, confirming his hypothesis. Gods, he’s starting to sound like him, isn't he? He set aside the thought, and focused on consistently hitting that little bundle of nerves. Praise spilled out of his mouth like a waterfall.

“You’re doing so good, Haitham— hahh —so pretty, so perfect.” 

Alhaitham knew he wasn’t perfect. Nobody was. But when the words came from Kaveh, he believed it with every bone in his body. He was perfect.

Alhaitham wanted to say something back. Tell his senior all the things he’d kept to himself for fifteen years. Things that were too embarrassing to say, things he couldn’t quite put into words, and things he could never bring himself to admit. Kaveh deserved to be praised. He deserved love poems and endless compliments. Alhaitham so desperately wanted to give it to him. But all that left his lips were needy moans, and a set of broken sounds that Kaveh knew to be his name.

Since he couldn’t verbalize his affections, Alhaitham dragged his hand away from where it was clinging to the sheets and grabbed Kaveh’s. He intertwined their fingers together and let his actions do the talking. 

“Oh, you’re such a sweet little thing…” Kaveh purred. As much as he hated to admit it, he loved being called that. He wanted to be Kaveh’s little plaything. He wanted to be submissive and pliant for Kaveh to just use him. To mercilessly fuck him into the pillows, bruising him, biting him, pulling his hair, leaving him unable to walk in the morning. Oh, Gods , he won’t be able to walk in the morning if Kaveh keeps this up. He doesn’t care. It feels too good to think about anything else right now. 

“ Agh, harder!” Alhaitham begged. He wrapped his legs around Kaveh, keeping him from going too far. Kaveh was doing his best to please his junior. The heat was nearly unbearable. Kaveh loved it. He loved how warm and snug it was inside Alhaitham. He never wanted to leave. It certainly was a much more effective way to shut him up. But he isn’t going to fuck Alhaitham every time he’s being annoying.

Probably.

Alhaitham could feel the searing heat rising in his stomach. He let his noises spill, not even attempting to sound coherent anymore. All he could think about was the mind–numbing pleasure that Kaveh was giving him. 

“You feel so good, Hayi. You’re so, so good… I love you so much,” Kaveh panted. Alhaitham cried a little louder at those words. He is loved. He had to say it back. Kaveh deserved it.

“I-I love— nghh— you t-too,” Alhaitham managed to say. Kaveh’s smile melted him. It was so pure and sweet and, Gods, Alhaitham wanted to kiss it. He used his free, shaky hand and pulled Kaveh into a kiss. The blond’s movements grew less precise and more erratic. More desperate. Alhaitham’s legs were trembling on his shoulders. He would’ve felt guilty if Alhaitham wasn’t voicing his pleasure so loudly. Rough fingers combed through his hair, holding him close. 

“ Mnn… ‘m close…” Alhaitham huffed. 

“I know, I know. Me too,” Kaveh said, voice shaking. 

“Fill… please…” his junior begged. Kaveh couldn’t help but chuckle. Haravatat graduate Alhaitham, master of over twenty languages, and he can only choke out two words. Kaveh would give him what he wants, of course. Kaveh would always give him what he wants. He would do anything for this man. This greedy, selfish, insufferable man that he loved beyond words. 

Kaveh reached down to stroke Alhaitham’s cock. The sound that left his junior’s throat was somewhere between a moan and a scream. 

“You’re such a good boy for me,” Kaveh teased. Alhaitham wasn’t as adverse to the choice of words as he was earlier. In fact, he loved it.

“S-Say it again,” Alhaitham whined. Kaveh smirked with a dangerous glint in his eyes. He loved being in control. He loved being able to do this to Alhaitham.

“You’re my good boy, Haitham. So good for me. I love how you moan my name, and my cock fits inside you so nicely,” Kaveh praised. Alhaitham’s eyes rolled back in his head and he scratched at Kaveh’s back like an animal. “That’s it, Haitham, cover me with your marks. Scratches, bites, anything your heart desires. Show me you love me.” Kaveh’s voice was so soft and pretty. Alhaitham thought that if sunlight could talk, it would sound like Kaveh. What an oddly poetic thing for him to think. Kaveh’s manner of speaking must be rubbing off on him. Once he was in his right mind, he’d say that to Kaveh.

He buried his face in the crook of Kaveh’s neck and sank his teeth into the soft skin. Kaveh let out a loud, beautiful moan and finished inside Alhaitham. The sensations of the warm liquid filling him up and Kaveh’s exhausted breath on his own neck was enough to send him over the edge. He clung to the blond as tightly as he could, never wanting to let go. 

Kaveh’s hand was now gross, but oh well. 

“S-Sorry…” Alhaitham mumbled, embarrassed. Kaveh looked at his hand and then looked at Alhaitham, a smirk on his lips.

“Don’t be,” he assured, and he licked his hand clean. Kaveh was slow, licking each individual finger, savoring the sticky sweetness. And savoring the mortified expression on Alhaitham’s face. It didn’t taste half bad.

“You taste like fucking candy,” Kaveh whispered. Alhaitham’s already red cheeks darkened. 

“You’re going to kill me one day,” Alhaitham whined. Kaveh leaned over and kissed his forehead.

He pulled out and collapsed beside Alhaitham, both of them staring at the ceiling in a mix of satisfaction and disbelief. The only sound in the room was that of their own heavy breathing. 

“That just happened…” Alhaitham whispered.

“That was amazing,” Kaveh chuckled. Alhaitham turned to face him. Blond hair spilled out around him. Alhaitham wrapped a strand around his finger.

“What are you doing?” Kaveh asked.

“Your hair is pretty,” Alhaitham mumbled sleepily. He’s so precious. Kaveh wanted to hold him close and kiss him and hug him and love him forever.

“Let me go clean us up,” he requested. Reluctantly, Alhaitham released the soft hair from between his fingers. He stared at Kaveh’s ass as he walked away. Gods, what an ass. It made him go insane with how badly he wanted to squeeze it or smack it or bury his face in it. Kaveh disappeared into the bathroom and Alhaitham snapped back to reality. He forced himself to process the situation. 

He just had sex with Kaveh. After fifteen years of pining and longing after the man. After convincing himself it’d never happen. After every fight and argument they’d ever had. He just had sex with Kaveh. And it was every bit as perfect as he hoped it’d be, and then some. 

For the first time in his life, Alhaitham didn’t think. He just lay there on his bed, mind empty and heart full. What a cheesy thing to think. Kaveh really is rubbing off onto him. In more ways than one, apparently. 

Kaveh returned shortly, dressed in pajamas and holding a damp towel. He sat down on the bed next to Alhaitham and gently cleaned him off. 

“You okay?” He asked, quietly. He tossed the towel to the floor. They’d worry about that tomorrow.

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?” Alhaitham asked. Kaveh smiled. He leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.

“Just checking.”

“Kiss me again,” Alhaitham asked. Kaveh complied, kissing his face all over until they were both laughing like little kids. Kaveh had only heard Alhaitham laugh like this once or twice before. It was such a distinct laugh. You could hear it in a crowded street years later and instantly know it was him. 

Kaveh pulled Alhaitham out of bed and helped him put pajamas on. After getting ready for bed, they both crawled back under the blankets in Alhaitham’s room. He hadn’t even asked Kaveh to stay, but he stayed anyways. Alhaitham rested his head on Kaveh’s chest, so he could hear his heartbeat. Kaveh absent-mindedly played with his hair.

“So, Kaveh…” Alhaitham asked timidly.

“Yes, love?” A sleepy voice answered.

“What are we?” There was a short silence while Kaveh considered his answer. Or maybe he fell asleep.

“I would hope we’re lovers now. I’d like that very much,” he said, voice almost trailing off. He must’ve been so tired. Alhaitham couldn’t blame him. He just hummed against the warm skin of Kaveh’s neck.

“Lovers it is.”