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“Edward, darling, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Leave me alone.”
Stede rolled his eyes and sat next to his husband. Ed’s been grumpy all morning, but won’t share what’s bothering him.
“Come on, you can tell me. What’s going on, baby?”
Ed mumbled something unintelligible, while facing the opposite direction.
“Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that. What-“
“It’s stupid, leave it. It’s just. I have this appointment. You know. This afternoon.”
Oh- that’s right.
Ed has a dentist appointment for a tooth extraction today.
Stede seemed to be putting the pieces together, and gently took Ed’s hand in his.
“Oh darling, you’re nervous?”
“No. Maybe. I don’t want to go.”
“I can go with you.”
“I’m not a kid, Stede.”
“I never said that you were. But you know, even adults needs a little moral support from time to time. It’s okay to be scared, nothing to be ashamed of.”
“M not afraid.”
“Of course not, love.”
“But. Yknow. If you’re not busy or anything, I guess that could be nice… to have you come with me.”
Stede kissed his husband’s temple fondly. Of course he wasn’t busy; and even if he was, it would have been less important than being here for Ed.
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The dentist office belonged to friends of Stede. That’s the only reason Ed felt safe enough to go. To say it plainly, he didn’t had very pleasant experiences with dental care in his childhood…
Ed tried not to spiral into traumatic flashbacks. He didn’t need the extra anxiety, thank you very much.
“Okay love, we’re here.”
Stede parked his car. Ed’s forehead was pressed against the window, and his only answer was a small whine. Stede tutted and brushed his husband’s hair with his hand.
“I know, sweetheart. I know. I know you don’t want to be there, but I’ll be with you the whole time.”
“Do I really need to do this…?”
“I’m afraid so, darling.”
Ed pouted, took a long exhale, and defeatedly opened his car door.
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“It’s okay Ed, I’m not going anywhere.”
Ed was clinging to Stede’s hand so hard he worried for a second it might break. He was laying on the dental chair, waiting for Stede’s dentist friend to start the dreaded procedure.
“Keep breathing through your nose sweetheart, it’ll help you relax. You have nothing to worry about, Roach will take good care of you. Okay baby?”
Ed whined softly, but obeyed nonetheless as he inhaled the loopy gas through his nose mask. He would rather be totally unconscious and not have to feel the fucking tooth being ripped out of his skull, but that’s the best they could offer.
“Okay, how are we feeling Mr. Teach?”
The dentist- Ed didn’t catch his name, but everyone called him Roach- had a weirdly exited grin for someone about to pull out a fucking tooth.
“Yeah, just peachy. Really good. Fine.”
“That’s great! We can start whenever you’re ready, then.”
Ed stared at his boyfriend with pleading eyes, pouting.
Maybe it wasn’t too late to get out?
With all the care in the world, Stede massaged each of Ed’s knuckle with his thumb.
“It’s gonna be okay my love. You’re safe.”
Safe . Edward never felt safe before Stede. He had a fucked up childhood, and honestly a fucked up adulthood as well.
But right now, he felt safe enough to whine like a child because he was nervous to be at the dentist.
Stede didn’t judged him, he never has. Stede will take care of him and reassure him, praise him for accomplishing the bare minimum that’s required when you’re a functioning adult.
He fucking loved Stede.
And he could do this for him.
“… okay, I’m ready. Fucking do your worst.”
“Alright, open wide then. You know how this goes, it will pinch a little.”
Ed instinctively held on Stede’s hand tighter. Who could blame him, having needles in your gums isn’t exactly the best feeling.
“You’re doing great darling. Remember, deep breaths through your nose. It’ll be over soon.”
He closed his eyes and obeyed, trying to concentrate on Stede’s voice and hand instead of-
“Hur’s!”
“Hold still, it’s gonna be over soon.”
“I know honey, I know. I’m sorry. Just a few more seconds now, you’re being so so brave.”
Three more deep breaths, and the fucking needle was finally out.
“Great job baby!”
“Okay, you can close your mouth for now. You’ll be numb in a minute. Just relax.”
Ed sniffed obnoxiously, and tried not to let fall the tears at the corner of his eyes. The anxiety was definitely worse than the pain, but this knowledge didn’t make it easier.
Gently, Stede rubbed his arm.
“Oh my poor darling…”
“This fucking sucks, Stede…”
Ed hated the way his voice cracked and wobbled, betraying the state of panic he was trying to contain.
“I know it does, baby. But you’re doing great. It’ll be over before you even know it.”
“You promise?”
He kissed his knuckles and smiled.
“I promise.”
A minute later, the whole left side of his face felt weird and heavy. Ed poked at his cheek mindlessly.
“S’weird.”
“That means it’s working.”
“My tongue i’ ‘o big…”
Stede and Roach chuckled. What the fuck? Ed didn’t say anything funny, it was actually worth noting that his tongue felt huge -
“It’s just the anesthesia, sweetheart. It makes your mouth feel heavy.”
“You look pretty numb, shall we start then?”
Ed scrunched his nose.
“It’s gonna be really quick, don’t worry. Are you ready?”
“Not ‘eally but le’ go.”
“It’s gonna be okay” reassured Stede, “I’m right here.”
Ed hummed, closed his eyes again and opened his mouth.
“There’s a good boy.” Murmured Stede.
Ed should feel embarrassed to be talked to like a child in front of a doctor, but he couldn’t care less. Maybe it was the nitrous oxyde, but he felt himself relax at the praise.
“Alright, this shouldn’t hurt. If it does, raise your hand okay? It’s just gonna be pressure and slight discomfort, that’s all.”
Oh fuck fuck fuck fuck .
“Just pressure now. Stay still.”
The fucking pliers were inside his mouth. Around his fucking tooth. Fucking hell-
Roach slowly started to wiggle the tooth around, trying to get it loose. Ed whined and held his breath, even though it didn’t exactly hurt it was really uncomfortable.
It reminded him way too much of how his dad once yanked one of his baby teeth as a punishment…
“Don’t forget to breathe, Ed. Deep breaths. I’m right here my love, you’re doing so good…”
I can’t, I can’t, please stop , Ed wanted to say.
Tears were falling from his eyes now, he was sobbing uncontrollably.
The pressure kept building and building and, oh god, it’s gonna hurt it’s gonna hurt so bad-
“Almost there. Just a few more seconds, hang in there…”
I can’t, it’s gonna hurt, I want to go home now, I fucking can’t, my jaw is gonna fucking pop, this is it, it’s gonna HURT-
There was a sharp tug-
Then suddenly, nothing.
No more pressure.
“There we go! In one piece.”
“You did it, it’s over!”
What?!
Temptingly, Ed opened his eyes.
Roach was still holding the pliers, and they were holding the tooth.
“Not so bad now, was it?”
“You did it, baby, I’m so proud!”
Ed couldn’t stop staring at the tooth. The little fucker has blood covered roots, and looked way bigger than a tooth should be. Was this thing really pulled out of his jaw?!
“Okay Edward, I just need to do a couple of stitches and clean you up, then you’re good to go. Do you need a short break?”
He shook his head, and kept his mouth open to indicate to Roach that he was good to keep going.
“The worst part is done, we’ll be home soon darling. Well done.”
Ed sighed and was letting himself relax. He fucking did it.
Fuck his father and the trauma he gave him, he fucking did it .
“So proud of you my love.”
I need to thank this man so much once I can speak again, thought Ed.
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