Chapter Text
Kiryu Kazuma was looking back at his life now that death seemingly loomed close. To those who knew him, he had been dead for years. He had no one, but so deep down wanted nothing more than to be with them again, so in a way it was almost relieving. It could finally end. He did not want to die but it would mean he didn't have to go on without them anymore, and could finally have an ending, a retirement if you will. It was complicated. Still, he went through a full range of emotions as he thought back on various memories. He didn't want to die no matter how low things had seemed or what hand life dealt him. So where did that leave him?
Some memories were still too fresh and painful even after decades had come to pass. Others were happy memories that tasted bittersweet as he longed to go back in time even for just a single day. He missed his family, all the ones that were lost along the way and all those still alive that he could never talk to ever again. He had been happiest with his kids. And now he guessed he could be considered a grandpa. Man did that make him feel old. But what felt worse was knowing he was missing Haruto's childhood. He already lost so much time with everyone. So many milestones and life moments but missing them meant everyone was safe. Right? It had been for the best?
He had a lot of regrets, it almost ate at him as furiously as the cancer. He also carried too many what-ifs, and a surprising number of things he wouldn't change for the world. The path of his life was not a clean well-traveled path. It was a path that was dimly lit and trampled. He held things close and stayed steady for the sake of others, never stopping to ask for help. He had to do it on his own, what other way was there? All the love, anger, embarrassment, joy, and everything in between flooded his thoughts. He was coming to a form of acceptance with his diagnosis. He was ready to face his fate, but he was not ready to give up either. Thanks to his newfound group of friends in Kasuga's party and everyone he had recently encountered from his past, Kiryu was willing to get treatment and fight this final fight. Still, he continued to reflect on his life over the years. Sometimes he'd get caught up in his thoughts all on his own and other times memories deep within would bubble to the surface when he came across something to remind him of days gone by.
He never knew what would lead to his reminiscing...
It had been a long night, after several chaotic and long days, and no one was getting any rest even when they had managed to fall asleep. They had been through so much over the last few days and tomorrow was going to be a hell of a day. One final fight. The quiet of the night was disturbed, broken by the cries of a child. Those who weren't already awake or drunk were woken. Kiryu wasn't sure if had actually managed to fall asleep, but he sure as hell was wide awake now. He hadn't been a particularly heavy sleeper in years, and the sound of a kid would always get him up no matter how deep the sleep. That parental instinct had settled in decades ago. Once activated, that trait never left.
Lani apparently had a nightmare. Just as quickly as the crying started the child quieted down once more. Akane was already offering comfort to help lull her back to bed, rubbing small circles against the girl's back and whispering calming words. Everyone relaxed and shifted in their spots, quickly drifting back to sleep. Kiryu however, was having trouble falling back asleep. He had his fair share of experience with nightmares. He had plenty of his own haunting him, and he had plenty of late nights tending to a kid who had a bad dream. Watching Akane soothe Lani to sleep reminded him of his kids, whom he missed desperately. Specifically, his mind drifted to those early days of being with Haruka...
They had only just recently met, and Kiryu had felt as if his head was underwater. He didn't know what he was doing, he could only hope he was doing a good job. He wanted to do right by Haruka. He was all she had and the poor girl had been through Hell. He knew not every choice he was making was the best, he had make some poor choices along the way but sometimes there was no good option in site, what else was there to do? But...
She deserved good things.
The two of them were hurting from the events that had unfolded and trying to get on with their lives. As much as Kiryu felt in over his head, another part of him bloomed with some sort of parental instinct that had been activated deep within him once he took on the role of caregiver. With that came the ability to awaken at the slightest disturbance in the middle of the night. Not that he was ever a particularly heavy sleeper, to begin with. Tonight he was startled awake by the sounds of screaming. He was instantly on high alert and scrambling out of his room. It soon became clear that no one was in the apartment, nothing was amiss, and yet Haruka was crying. It clicked. A bad dream. He didn't know what to do exactly, but knew he had to do something.
So Kiryu stepped into the second bedroom. He brushed a stray hair out of Haruka's face. The nine-year-old was still thrashing around in her sleep, clearly upset by something. He didn't want to wake her but he needed to comfort her all the same. Gently he laid a hand on her shoulder. "Shh sweetheart, it's just a bad dream. You're safe."
Her eyes flickered open. The horrible images washed away, but her heart still raced. Tears came to her eyes and she blinked. "Uncle Kaz?"
"You were having a bad dream, but you're safe." He said softly. "It was only a dream," he repeated. Haruka surprised and startled Kiryu by suddenly climbing into his arms. It only took a second for him to blink away the confusion and to wrap his arms around her in a secure hug. He made her feel safe.
"I..I... I had to... you didn't.." She rambled unable to finish a sentence.
Kiryu rubbed circles on her back trying to offer what comfort he could. He was at a loss, this was the first time he had to deal with a child that had a nightmare. Well, maybe, beyond perhaps when he was a kid and had handed out a few late-night reassurances to another child at the orphanage. Did that count? Not in a way that would help give him any sort of guidance in this current situation. It was the first time he had to deal with a bad dream that wasn't his own and he was so used to dealing with his nightmares on his own. Had he ever had someone comfort him after a bad dream, even as a child? He couldn't recall. Never in a way that Haruka clearly needed right now.
It reminded him how young she still was. Haruka was a rather independent kid, a child that at times was seemingly very mature for her age but all that vanished in this moment. It was clear how she was still just a little girl in need of comfort and guidance. Her 'maturity' was a false front built up to survive and carry on in situations no one should have to go through, especially not a kid. Especially not her. Haruka was a sweet person, her mannerisms showed kindness. She simply didn't want to be a bother or get in the way. She was used to having to navigate everything on her own. She'd never speak those fears out loud and the truth anyway was that she could never be troublesome. If only he could have seen that then.
Maybe he should talk to her more. But what to say?
"I have you, you're safe. I'm not going anywhere." He could only imagine what her bad dream was about. He could hazard a guess and it was terrible. Her nightmares were likely similar to the darkness that plagued him. They had both been through Hell, hadn't they? And now all they had was each other. Kiryu needed to figure out someone for her to talk to, a professional. He'd never go on his own but he'd give every resource he could to Harkua. He needed to consult someone on how to help her move forward. That was a future problem. Tonight he was on his own. He continued what he was doing, with soft and gentle reassurance and the safety net of security that was his arms.
Haruka slowly calmed down and eventually, the two sat in silence. They sat like that for a while until Kiryu thought the girl had fallen back asleep in his arms. He shifts to get her back into bed but she was either awoken by the motion or not fully asleep because she clings to him unexpectedly and mumbles in a small tired voice, "No... Stay with me?" she rests her head on his shoulder. "You keep the bad things away."
Ah hell, now how could he say no to that? He couldn't. "Alright, but you need to move over."
She scooted over giving him room to lay. He sat down next to her, resting his back against the wall. She curled against his side, and he wrapped an arm over her protectively. Her eyelids felt heavy. She was asleep in minutes. Kiryu knew his neck would be screaming at him in the morning for the angle he sat sleeping in but it would be worth it. He's been through worse.
Maybe things weren't as bad as they seemed.
He had this... Right?
Maybe.
Probably.